How to Turn Bad Habits into Good Habits

Note: This is a guest post by John Wesley, a fellow PBN member, who blogs at Pick the Brain about motivation, intelligence, self-improvement, creativity and much more. If you enjoy this post, I recommend you head to his site for more great writing.

Humans are creatures of habit. Think of your daily routine. Every weekday I get up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and drive to work. Always in the exact same order. The details might vary, but I usually do the exact same thing every single day. I like it that way.

I like it because it makes me feel in control and because I don’t have to do unnecessary planning. A predictable routine is extremely comforting. The problem is that we get comfortable with bad habits. When a bad habit becomes a part of your daily routine, you lose consciousness of it. You just keep doing it without thinking.

Becoming accustomed to a bad habit makes that habit seem much harder to give up than it really is. You don’t want to change. When you try to give up a bad habit, it leaves a void in your routine that leads to restlessness and urges. The best way to fill this void is with a good habit.

The first step in the process is deciding to give up the bad habit. You can’t decide to give it up because other people say you should. The drive to change must come from within. This drive is created by understanding how the bad habit is harmful.

Decide to Stop Hurting Yourself

Consider the bad habit of going out drinking. It’s absurd when you think about what you’re actually doing. You pay hard earned money to feel hungover and exhausted. Would you pay someone to hit you on the head with a wrench? Getting drunk is basically the same deal.

Once you realize the harm that you do yourself, bad habits become much less appealing. But giving them up still isn’t easy because most bad habits aren’t all bad. Going out drinking satisfies a need for social interaction and excitement. These desires themselves aren’t bad, but we need a better way to satisfy them.

Substitute a Good Habit

Giving up a bad habit shouldn’t be unpleasant, but it is when we feel like we’re denying ourselves. We need to fill the void in our daily routine with something that isn’t as harmful, and we also need to reward ourselves to maintain our motivation.

Suppose you want to stop drinking. It’s tough because you miss the excitement of going out and interacting with other people. Fortunately, there are other ways to fulfill these desires that aren’t as destructive or expensive.

Instead of going out at night, try getting out during the day. Get up early and do something you enjoy. Take a walk around the neighborhood or hang out in a coffee shop for a couple hours. When Friday and Saturday night come around, you won’t feel as restless and the urge to go out drinking will be easier to resist.

Different things work for different people. The key is finding a better way to satisfy the desires you used to satisfy with the bad habit.

If you can replace a bad habit with a positive, enjoyable habit, the change is much more likely to stick. Once you are able to feel satisfied without harming yourself, you’ll wonder how that old bad habit seemed so enjoyable.

Read more posts by John at the Pick the Brain blog.

How to Turn Bad Habits into Good Habits

Decide to Stop Hurting Yourself

Substitute a Good Habit

Different things work for different people. The key is finding a better way to satisfy the desires you used to satisfy with the bad habit.

Read more posts by John at the Pick the Brain blog.

Posted on 26 March 2007 in Habits |
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Comments (10)

verevi Says:

March 26th, 2007, 10:40 am

“Going out drinking” does not necessarily equate to “getting drunk”. Is a weakness or an inability to consume a safe amount the same thing as a bad habit? I don’t think so. (Otherwise, I think the point is well-made).

To me, my worst habit is reading blogs online. Ironically, I’m reading a blog right now that is teaching me how to stop my bad habit!

John Wesley Says:

March 26th, 2007, 10:51 am

I agree that going out drinking does not necessarily equate to getting drunk. But in many cases it does, and going out also has other negative side effects, like staying up too late and being expensive, that make it a bad habit for many people.

It could be argued whether or not these negative consequences are the result of a bad habit or a lack of will power. Aren’t all bad habits really a reflection of personal weakness?

Also, I share the habit of reading too many blogs. Hopefully. if I can take Leo’s advice to heart I can spend my time more productively.

Sara Says:

March 26th, 2007, 12:32 pm

I think that sometimes - many times - our bad habits or weaknesses are really just the flip side of our best qualities and strengths. Not always, of course - there are all sorts of reasons for being self-destructive (childhood issues, displacing stress from work, on and on it goes!). My worst habit is over thinking; but my greatest strength is my curiosity about life/desire for knowledge. I can always tell when I “flip” the coin and start thinking too darn much. Someone who goes out and drinks probably has a very good side of that self-harming coin: sociability and love for people. To me it’s a matter of finding balance and reinforcing good habits (which is why I love ZH). You likely won’t ever eliminate *every* bad habit, and maybe it’s really not even possible — what I mean is, in certain cases, perhaps both bad and good habits stem from the same root. Not always, of course. It’s just a matter of diverting the behavior to the “good” side of the coin.

John Wesley Says:

March 26th, 2007, 12:39 pm

Sara,

You make a great point about good and bad habits stemming from the same root. I couldn’t agree more.

Sara Says:

March 26th, 2007, 12:47 pm

Thanks, John. I enjoyed your post…great, now I have one more blog to add to my reader! ;)

zenhabits Says:

March 26th, 2007, 16:16 pm

Thanks for the great comments, Sara … and I would definitely add Pick the Brain to your feed reader. It’s on mine, and I enjoy it daily. -leo

Dawud Miracle Says:

March 27th, 2007, 11:24 am

It’s incredible how easy it is for us to stay in our pain and suffering. I guess even suffering can be safer and more comforting than change. The issue here is ultimately about change.

quixote Says:

March 27th, 2007, 15:58 pm

No doubt there are transitions from drinking sometimes - to drinking as a habit - to problem drinking; probably a continuous transition, which is I think, why this ‘bad habit’ particularly dangerous - but that’s picking on a particular, I understand John referred to habits in general. Finding wasteful and potentially damaging habits in one’s behaviour and substituting them for other other, more positive, ones is an excellent notion.
“Blogging”and reading blogs - I certainly have that one, maybe even getting to be a ‘bad’ habit. One that I would call a special case of “procastination” - and it would be best to substitute that one for doing what I should be doing in the first place :)

(By the way - there was once a piece that took a page from AA about “Problem Drinking” and turned it into “Problem Thinking” - you must have seen it, all. Very amusing and incidentally an uncannily accurate take on our “fast track, fast food and light” society…)

Coming from ‘Pick The Brain” - I’m glad to have found myself here at Zenhabits - so will subscribe forthwith!

Alex Shalman Says:

April 1st, 2007, 15:52 pm

Good one by John. I like your wrench example lol. No, I wouldn’t pay for that… I think. Great point about substituting bad habits with good ones.

Douglas Eby Says:

April 3rd, 2007, 17:50 pm

In his article The feel good paradox
http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/908/1/The-feel-good-paradox/Page1.html
addiction psychologist Marc F. Kern, Ph.D. writes about successfully making lifestyle changes, such as reducing or eliminating destructive habits. He says, “Change means setting sail to new and foreign locales, to unfamiliar locations… Building your self-confidence only comes about when you demonstrate to yourself that you can set a positive goal and accomplish it…

“Even if you go to support groups or professionals for help, ultimately you must be the proactive Captain of your ship (life), push beyond what feels comfortable and safe, and challenge yourself to be more and more what you want to be… Take small changes, small steps or bites so you are at least pretty sure that you will achieve the next goal. But you must take risks to acquire self-confidence.”