Practical Tips to Practice Being Present

Every Thursday is Happiness Day on Zen Habits.

This guest post is from fellow PBN blogger Nneka from Balanced Life Center, a blog dedicated to helping you apply spiritual principles to life. If you’re interested in more about being present, meditation, or spiritual principals, please go to her blog and read more. She’s got some great stuff there.

Hi Zen Habiters, no, I’m not Leo. I’m Nneka (eN-Nay-Kah), and I wrote an article one day about the benefits of the Life Transformation Program and listed being present as a benefit. Your resident blogger asked me to expand on the idea and I volunteered to do it here.

I know you guys are serious about getting practical tips that you can turn into habits. So here are a few habits that you can practice to become present:

Pay Attention - When you have idle time at a stop light or in a line at the grocery, for example, pay attention. Instead of letting your mind run ahead of you thinking about the route to your destination and possible traffic delays, or the list of errands that have to be completed after the grocery run, take a moment to pay attention. Turn off the radio in the car, roll down the windows and witness the traffic going in the cross direction, the jogger getting his morning run, the trees dancing in the wind, listen to the birds chirp, and the rustling of leaves. You only have to do it for a few moments, but it’s a good start.
Observe - Next time you’re in a meeting, observe what is going on. It’s a bit more than paying attention in duration. Paying attention is on a trigger basis. Observation is like watching a movie on a screen. Watch the players in action. Watch the body language. Listen for intonations. Do not speak. This can be a very powerful tool as you sit and take in everything that is playing out. You have nothing at stake in the grand scheme of things, but watch as you are able to respond perfectly when questioned. You will be surprised.
Breathe - When you’re ready to go beyond moments and minutes, try paying attention to your breath before you drift off to sleep. Before you drift off to sleep, spend 15 minutes paying attention to the rise and fall of your belly. If you feel yourself drifting off to sleep, or notice that your mind has wondered, gently bring it back to your belly. You could even put a book on it and watch it rise and fall.
Meditate - You can now begin to establish a sitting practice. It is the practice of sitting still for about 30 minutes in silence. Let your thoughts go. When you realize that your mind is chasing your thoughts, bring it back to your breath. Just be still. Nothing to do or think about. Nothing to ponder, just be.

You can practice being present from the bottom of the list to the top also, but I find that it’s easy to go with small steps. Soon, you will begin to be aware in what you are actively doing. If you are cooking, don’t think about what comes next, pay attention to what you are chopping now. When you are present, your life energy is infused into all that you do, from writing code for your website, to singing a lullaby to your child, to having dinner with a friend.

Once you become aware, you are then able to influence the world around you in seemingly effortless ways.

In Spirit,
Nneka

Practical Tips to Practice Being Present

Every Thursday is Happiness Day on Zen Habits.

I know you guys are serious about getting practical tips that you can turn into habits. So here are a few habits that you can practice to become present:

Pay Attention - When you have idle time at a stop light or in a line at the grocery, for example, pay attention. Instead of letting your mind run ahead of you thinking about the route to your destination and possible traffic delays, or the list of errands that have to be completed after the grocery run, take a moment to pay attention. Turn off the radio in the car, roll down the windows and witness the traffic going in the cross direction, the jogger getting his morning run, the trees dancing in the wind, listen to the birds chirp, and the rustling of leaves. You only have to do it for a few moments, but it’s a good start.
Observe - Next time you’re in a meeting, observe what is going on. It’s a bit more than paying attention in duration. Paying attention is on a trigger basis. Observation is like watching a movie on a screen. Watch the players in action. Watch the body language. Listen for intonations. Do not speak. This can be a very powerful tool as you sit and take in everything that is playing out. You have nothing at stake in the grand scheme of things, but watch as you are able to respond perfectly when questioned. You will be surprised.
Breathe - When you’re ready to go beyond moments and minutes, try paying attention to your breath before you drift off to sleep. Before you drift off to sleep, spend 15 minutes paying attention to the rise and fall of your belly. If you feel yourself drifting off to sleep, or notice that your mind has wondered, gently bring it back to your belly. You could even put a book on it and watch it rise and fall.
Meditate - You can now begin to establish a sitting practice. It is the practice of sitting still for about 30 minutes in silence. Let your thoughts go. When you realize that your mind is chasing your thoughts, bring it back to your breath. Just be still. Nothing to do or think about. Nothing to ponder, just be.

Once you become aware, you are then able to influence the world around you in seemingly effortless ways.

In Spirit,
Nneka

Posted on 13 April 2007 in Happiness, Simplicity |
Digg |
Del.icio.us |
Stumble |
Print

Comments (22)

Mollie Says:

April 13th, 2007, 7:54 am

Wow! You’ve really broken down how to begin mediating into very doable steps. Thank you! Since having a child, living in the present has really taken on a new meaning to me, I sometimes forget. What a beautiful, gentle reminder.

Ann M. Says:

April 13th, 2007, 7:58 am

Great post. I love the way it’s broken down into steps that can be done as habits.

Wallet Rehab - Ways to save money Says:

April 13th, 2007, 8:05 am

One place I know where I try to be present is the elevator. It’s so easy to zone out while standing in an elevator, and so much harder to look at the people around you. I like to smile at them, or even say Hi sometimes!

Leo Says:

April 13th, 2007, 8:24 am

Thanks for the comments, guys — I agree, it’s an excellent and practical post. This is actually a goal of mine for this year, so it’s something I’ve been looking into, and I’m glad Nneka took the time to make it easy for me and others.

Thanks, Nneka!

The Daily Saint Says:

April 13th, 2007, 10:51 am

“Being present” is a great concept as the world goes faster and not deeper. Technology is great but can easily distance us from our own humanity and the lives of those around us. Thanks for the post. TDS

Nneka Says:

April 13th, 2007, 12:42 pm

@Mollie, that’s a great place to practice. When I’m with my niece and nephew they have my undivided attention. It’s a great way to be in the moment and watch their curiosity. I get dizzy sometimes.

@Ann, every little step counts. Meditation has become this overwhelming thing when it boils down to paying attention. You just have to do it for a longer time when all you have to contend with is the chatter in your mind.

@Wallet Rehab, that’s a great suggestion! I’ll have to add the elevator to my list.

@TDS, I think now more than ever we have to make a conscious decision to connect to the Divine and to others.

Hi Leo, thanks for the opportunity to post. I’ll turn it back over to you now :-)

Adam Kayce : Monk At Work Says:

April 13th, 2007, 12:51 pm

Being present is an amazing challenge these days, especially since we’ve gotten so used to juggling 50 different things in our heads while trying to accomplish one.

Practicing presence is great (I like the suggestions you gave); and don’t we have to do something about getting the 50 things out of our heads (without losing track of them, of course)?

Just curious what you’d say to that…

Nneka Says:

April 13th, 2007, 15:16 pm

Hi Adam, consider this: Right now where you are, doing what you are doing, can you do anything about the other 50 things?

Rather than try to get them out of your head, concentrate intently on what you are doing. It’s really boring and annoying at first, but with some practice it feels amazingly relaxing and peaceful to do or think about one thing at a time.

Multi-tasking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

In Spirit,
Nneka

Adam Kayce : Monk At Work Says:

April 13th, 2007, 17:43 pm

“Multi-tasking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Oh, I hear you — it’s not that I want to be focusing on anything else; it’s that I am.

In other words, it’s not the reasoning or logic I’m questioning, it’s the viability of saying, “just focus,” and having that be enough to do the trick.

If there are two sides of this issue (practicing ‘presence’ and unloading the to-do’s from our minds), I’m simply advocating that we do both.

Adam Kayce : Monk At Work Says:

April 13th, 2007, 17:45 pm

Oh, and what I left out was…

I think there are a lot of productivity ‘experts’ out there advising us to handle our to-do lists better, but very few of us advising people to be present, and work on it from that angle.

Kudos! :D

Leo Says:

April 13th, 2007, 18:58 pm

Adam … I agree with you completely. Too many productivity experts are telling us how to crank out those to-do lists, but Nneka’s post is very refreshing. It’s along the lines of what I’d like to aim for on Zen Habits — simple productivity. Thanks for the great comments!

Brian Says:

April 13th, 2007, 23:30 pm

I’ve been doing things similar to make myself be a more enthused listener. I block out everything else that is happening and focus in on the story teller. Unfortunately, often times the person telling the story becomes irritated and annoyed at my complete attention and tells me that I’m weird and to “stop staring.” What am I doing wrong? Am I simply trying too hard?

Leo Says:

April 14th, 2007, 8:23 am

Hi Brian … it would be hard to give you advice without seeing you, but my guess is that you look too intense. People aren’t used to it. Try to look more relaxed and casual, while still giving the person your full attention. It sounds like you’re headed in the right direction, though.

Adam Kayce : Monk At Work Says:

April 14th, 2007, 11:30 am

Hi Brian… it may also be possible that, in your effort to listen intently, all of your energy is being directed right at them… and that can be intimidating, especially if you have a strong presence!

(I had a similar situation once…)

Perhaps listening intently, but having your focus be on letting their words wash over or through you, so you’re in “absorption” mode, rather than “locked eyes” mode.

Make sense? (I know, talking about subtle energy sometimes sounds kooky; but it’s also helpful, I find…)

Nneka Says:

April 15th, 2007, 0:27 am

Hi Brian, there’s really no right or wrong way. What’s important is that you are fully engaged in the conversation. Maybe you could check out their body language and pay attention to the inflections with their voice. There is a lot that’s said beyond the words, and a lot to see beyond the eyes.

Keep paying attention though. You’ll find what works for you.

In Spirit,
Nneka

Attila Borcsa Says:

April 15th, 2007, 2:46 am

Nneka, great post! Very pragmatic approach.
I don’t know how much your view on this relates to Gurdjieff’s teachings on being present, but your tips are an excellent way to start. Being present is much more complex, but a well trained attention, being able to focus in whatever situation is crucial. This is the very basic requirement for being present.

Nneka Says:

April 15th, 2007, 19:08 pm

Thanks Attila :-) You have to start somewhere and sometimes sitting in meditation is a bit overwhelming.

Opalescent_light Says:

May 13th, 2007, 23:11 pm

thank you for the joy and a smile I enjoyed reading this thread.

Sunny Singh Says:

May 28th, 2007, 19:56 pm

My introduction to the state of presence happenned last year when, in midst of a personal crisis, I picked up “The Power of Now - A Guide to Spiritual Enlightment” by Eckhart Tolle at a local book store. I would not be an overstatement to say it changed my life.

One of the ways you can practice presence is by connecting with The Inner Body. Let me quote from his book:

“Please try it now. You may find it helpful to close your eyes for this practice. Later on, when “being in the body’ has become natural and easy, this will no longer be necessary. Direct your attention into the body. Feel it from within. Is it alive? Is there
life in your hands, arms, legs, and feet - in your abdomen, your chest? Can you feel the subtle energy field that pervades the entire body and gives vibrant life to every organ and every cell? Can you feel it simultaneously in all parts of the body as a
single field of energy? Keep focusing on the feeling of your inner body for a few moments. Do not start to think about it. Feel it. The more attention you give it, the clearer and stronger this feeling will become. It will feel as if every cell is becoming more alive, and if you have a strong visual sense, you may get an image of your body
becoming luminous. Although such an image can help you temporarily, pay more attention to the feeling than to any image that may arise. An image, no matter how beautiful or powerful, is already defined in form, so there is less scope for penetrating
more deeply.
The feeling of your inner body is formless, limitless, and unfathomable. You can always go into it more deeply. If you cannot feel very much at this stage, pay attention to whatever you can feel. Perhaps there is just a slight tingling in your hands
or feet. That’s good enough for the moment. Just focus on the feeling. Your body is coming alive. Later, we will practice some more. Please open your eyes now, but keep some attention in the inner energy field of the body even as you look around the
room. The inner body lies at the threshold between your form identity and your essence identity, your true nature. Never lose touch with it.”