Five Great Ways to Achieve Happiness Through Serving Others

Every Thursday is Happiness Day on Zen Habits. This guest post was written by Stephen Smith of HD BizBlog 1.2.

I worked in the “Happiness” business.

For a long time I worked in the Hospitality industry, restaurants and hotels, where I have been a busboy, host, waiter, bartender and manager. For 12 years I spent most evenings and weekends, and every holiday, taking care of people who were going out to dinner or attending an event like a wedding or prom.

I truly enjoyed this work as it was emotionally fulfilling and financially rewarding, not to mention just plain fun a lot of the time.

There are those who would disparage a career path like this as demeaning and servile, yet the call to serve others is the source of my own greatest happiness.

I remember going home after many 12- to 16-hour days, having served hundreds of people their meals and watched them dance and celebrate a special day with family and friends. At these times I felt tired, of course, but also invigorated and gratified by the display of human connection.

The call to serve
Those of you that are parents of small children know about the effort and sacrifice that is required to raise them happy and healthy. And I would submit that you feel that your children are your greatest source of happiness. This same feeling of pride and love comes to many of those who are called to the ministry, teaching, medicine, or even the hospitality industry. Serving others is sometimes a thankless job, yet it remains a reward in itself. Here are some ideas to consider for increasing your personal level of service, while bringing happiness to yourself and others:

1. Show respect and courtesy. It seems like such a small thing, and in our busy lives we often forget that a kind word, a helping hand, or just a smile and “Thank you” can create a bright spot in another person’s life. And then two people are happy.

2. Listen more than you speak. One of the things that my wife has taught me is that sometimes she just wants to vent about her day. Being a man, I will often have advice on how to handle the situation (and men are seemingly hard-wired for problem solving). One of the things that makes her so special is that she tells me when she wants advice and when she just wants me to listen. My listening makes her happy.

3. Give genuine praise. Recognizing the contributions of others is a mighty act of service. This is an investment in others that doesn’t cost you a thing, and the returns can be amazing. Remember, “Praise in public, punish in private“. Even in a disagreement there is an opportunity for service, and you can restore happiness to the relationship, if you speak the truth in love to help another to learn and grow.

4. Keep your promises. You can create an atmosphere of service simply by doing the things that you say you will do. Dependability and punctuality are the hallmarks of the service-oriented individual. When people can trust you it creates happiness all around.

5. Practice forgiveness. Pointless hard feelings are the source of so much unhappiness in the world. Holding a grudge against another is a blemish on your soul. When you can let go of this, you can begin to heal the pain. Making a point of forgiving someone is a great service, for there are times that the person may not even know that they have hurt you. You can even forgive those who do not want to be forgiven, trust me - it will make you happy.

In the end, only you are responsible for your own happiness. Serve others first, and as it says in the Dhammapada:

“With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with a pure mind
And happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakable.”

Stephen Smith writes about Productivity, New Media, and Web 2.0 at HD BizBlog 1.2.

If you liked this article, please bookmark it in del.icio.us or vote for it on Digg. Thanks!

Five Great Ways to Achieve Happiness Through Serving Others

Photo by padraic woods

Every Thursday is Happiness Day on Zen Habits. This guest post was written by Stephen Smith of HD BizBlog 1.2.

I worked in the “Happiness” business.

I truly enjoyed this work as it was emotionally fulfilling and financially rewarding, not to mention just plain fun a lot of the time.

There are those who would disparage a career path like this as demeaning and servile, yet the call to serve others is the source of my own greatest happiness.

In the end, only you are responsible for your own happiness. Serve others first, and as it says in the Dhammapada:

“With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with a pure mind
And happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakable.”

Stephen Smith writes about Productivity, New Media, and Web 2.0 at HD BizBlog 1.2.

If you liked this article, please bookmark it in del.icio.us or vote for it on Digg. Thanks!

Posted on 9 August 2007 in Happiness |
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Comments (15)

Abel Says:

August 9th, 2007, 7:01 am

Very well said. It seems that many people are very self-centered nowadays - they have forgotten we are here to serve others - even in business. Give and you shall receive. Being non-judgmental regardless of social status is important too.

Bob Says:

August 9th, 2007, 7:22 am

Such a nice post. Thank you.
I’m really lucky. I’m a doctor so I get the joy of serving people every day. I know that if I’ve been feeling a bit stressed or down I find that at the end of a day in the consulting room I feel SO much better. I know patients go to the doctor to hopefully feel better and I certainly hope my patients leave the room feeling better than they did when they walked in, but the truth is as the doctor I get so much out of the consultation too. And you put your finger on what it is that does that - it’s the sheer pleasure of serving others (coupled with the fact that patients getting better, appreciating my care, is so reinforcing for me). It makes me feel that my life is worthwhile and has meaning.
Can I tell you something? I really see that same phenomenon in patients. Whether somebody is overwhelmed with pain or depression or whatever, as they start to recover the ones who connect to, and serve, others are the ones whose health improves the most significantly. It can be awe-inspiring to witness.

MDB Says:

August 9th, 2007, 8:23 am

I work as a teacher so I know the feeling. I also think it’s such a great skill you can learn and that you can apply in so many areas of your life.

I have learnt a lot about listening and showing courtesy over the years. In the long run it does pay off as you find you are the person left standing with all the close friends and contacts in the end.

Lee Says:

August 9th, 2007, 9:30 am

This was a lovely post, and is perfectly timed for where I happen to be in my life…

Most of my career to date has been spent as a computer programmer - grafting behind the scenes to create and develop software solutions intended to help people. Despite a number of successes, I find that the majority of the feedback I receive is of a negative nature (i.e. I’ll get notified if its broken, not if its working perfectly). I have also formed the opinion that a successful computer programmers work is often invisible.

For years I have been stimulated by the intellectual challenge of the work, and the fact that the pay is not bad… However over the last few years I have come to realize that there is so much more I could do to help people and work with them.

A lot of this change is due to my girlfriend, who despite a number of personal ailments has an amazing, caring spirit and gets deep fulfillment from her work as a nurse.

Since I started pursuing a path of writing, speaking and working with people (currently on a part-time basis) I have experienced more joy from my career than I had ever imagined possible.

This sense of purpose has in turn pushed me to greater levels of achievement in all areas of my life - I am fitter, healthier, more confident and conscious, more focussed and productive than ever before.

I cannot express enough how aligning my life to be more service oriented, towards helping and serving people, has raised the quality of my life. I am a new man in every sense of the word.

My thanks to Stephen Smith for writing a great post, and to Leo for running one of my favorite inspiring blogs.

Yan Says:

August 9th, 2007, 11:15 am

I believe you missed #6.

#6 Help others without expecting anything return.

Helping others has been the greatest source of my happiness. I believe that helping others without any personal gain is a humbling action and often leaves us with a personal feeling of well-being and satisfaction.

Modern Worker Says:

August 9th, 2007, 12:03 pm

This is so very true, that providing a valuable service to others is quite often one (if not THE) most satisfying work. Even if one cannot make their 9-5 job of help to anyone buy stockholders, there is always a need for volunteer workers around the world on nights and weekends.

Parabola Says:

August 10th, 2007, 8:44 am

What a beautiful person! I have one question for the author… what or how do you “replenish” yourself?

Aenima Says:

August 10th, 2007, 12:13 pm

I work everyday in the hospitality industry, in probably the worst city in the country to do it, Los Angeles. I have my good days, where my customers are very easygoing, friendly, grateful, etc., etc. Then I have those days, where it seems like every customer that comes in has an attitude, and think they should be treated like a celebrity (or at the least, given extra special treatment, then the customer before them). I wish i could print this out, and hand each and everyone of those a copy, smile at them and say, “have a great afternoon, and please, kiss my a$$”

Kim Isaac Says:

August 10th, 2007, 14:07 pm

I enjoyed this post. As a teacher, I agree with the principles in this post. Listening to my students and seeing when they understand the lesson gives me such pleasure.

Porter Says:

August 13th, 2007, 9:39 am

Absolutely love the editorial photo. I, too, find that saving peoples’ lives by pulling them from a pile of rocks gives me a great sense of inner peace. :)

Karell Says:

September 6th, 2007, 21:51 pm

Am I the only one who can’t see the ‘Five Great Ways’ list? The intro is fascinating, and I’d love to learn your methods … but I don’t see the actual list. Help?