Comments on: How to Say No and Stay Friends http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/ Simple Productivity Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:14:22 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: My Get Things Done List » Blog Archive » GTD Alert: Dealing with Burnout, Part II [HD BizBlog 1.2] http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-68814 My Get Things Done List » Blog Archive » GTD Alert: Dealing with Burnout, Part II [HD BizBlog 1.2] Sun, 03 May 2009 04:36:01 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-68814 [...] people cannot say “No” to new obligations and activities. If you are overwhelmed with things to get done, perhaps this is [...] [...] people cannot say “No” to new obligations and activities. If you are overwhelmed with things to get done, perhaps this is [...]

]]> By: The People Pleaser 2.0 | Social Desire http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-25826 The People Pleaser 2.0 | Social Desire Tue, 05 Feb 2008 01:07:09 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-25826 [...] How to Say No and Stay Friends - Marco Adragna shows you how you can say no to a friend without losing the friendship. [...] [...] How to Say No and Stay Friends – Marco Adragna shows you how you can say no to a friend without losing the friendship. [...]

]]> By: stany http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-24669 stany Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:57:55 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-24669 I was offered a better job in a company, i agreed and did all the formality. then i resigned with my old company, but they refuse to release me and promised to offer everything the new company offers, Now i am in a fix, how can i say no to the new comapny as they had been very nice to me and had agreed to all; my terms and conditions. I feel guilty. Now i have inform them that i won't be able to take the new offer (new company. pleas advice I was offered a better job in a company, i agreed and did all the formality. then i resigned with my old company, but they refuse to release me and promised to offer everything the new company offers,
Now i am in a fix, how can i say no to the new comapny as they had been very nice to me and had agreed to all; my terms and conditions. I feel guilty. Now i have inform them that i won’t be able to take the new offer (new company. pleas advice

]]> By: A Long Long Road » 100 Resources To Improve Your Career, Relationships And Money http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-18993 A Long Long Road » 100 Resources To Improve Your Career, Relationships And Money Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:32:09 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-18993 [...] How to Say No and Stay Friends - how do you reject a friend without hurting the friendship. This great post tells you how. [...] [...] How to Say No and Stay Friends – how do you reject a friend without hurting the friendship. This great post tells you how. [...]

]]> By: GTD Alert: Dealing with Burnout, Part II http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-15751 GTD Alert: Dealing with Burnout, Part II Wed, 17 Oct 2007 05:51:20 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-15751 [...] people cannot say “No” to new obligations and activities. If you are overwhelmed with things to get done, perhaps this is [...] [...] people cannot say “No” to new obligations and activities. If you are overwhelmed with things to get done, perhaps this is [...]

]]> By: Hoffmann http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11620 Hoffmann Sun, 19 Aug 2007 14:25:31 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11620 well， it is very unpleasant to be turned down by a friend ,especially when he is a close one? The question ,which appears in the article, can be paraphased as which seems to be more important to u , the law or me ? Take a second thought before u ask question in this type, caze the suggestion 6 is really useless to me according to my own experiences. U can do little to cheer a dispointted friend up. maybe that is anothere kind of impossibile mission well， it is very unpleasant to be turned down by a friend ,especially when he is a close one?

The question ,which appears in the article, can be paraphased as which seems to be more important to u , the law or me ?

Take a second thought before u ask question in this type, caze the suggestion 6 is really useless to me according to my own experiences.

U can do little to cheer a dispointted friend up. maybe that is anothere kind of impossibile mission

]]> By: Leo http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11556 Leo Sat, 18 Aug 2007 03:12:33 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11556 @Raephael: That's a difficult situation. My advice: * First, pre-empt her asking by letting her know that you don't want to get involved with the upcoming elections, only because you don't want politics to become a strain on your friendship, and you value her friendship so much. * Tell her you would love to help her in some way, perhaps making her personal life easier somehow so she can concentrate more on the campaign ... but you just don't want to be publicly involved in any political stuff. This is the "look for the underlying need" and "say yes to some other stuff" that Marco mentions in the post. @Raephael: That’s a difficult situation. My advice:

* First, pre-empt her asking by letting her know that you don’t want to get involved with the upcoming elections, only because you don’t want politics to become a strain on your friendship, and you value her friendship so much.

* Tell her you would love to help her in some way, perhaps making her personal life easier somehow so she can concentrate more on the campaign … but you just don’t want to be publicly involved in any political stuff. This is the “look for the underlying need” and “say yes to some other stuff” that Marco mentions in the post.

]]> By: Raephael http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11554 Raephael Sat, 18 Aug 2007 02:32:17 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11554 Here's my problem: a friend of the family who I like very much is running for local public office. I think she would be terrible for the job and believe that her opponent (who is in office now) has done some courageous things I support. I know she will be asking me to support her publicly and I just can't. I think some people in our area would look to my name and give it some weight and I just don't want my name used for someone I can't support. She is a very dear person. And in her family, family and friends stick together and personal connections are everything. I'm not sure she is going to understand my standing on my principles. But I think I have to do it. Any suggestions? Here’s my problem: a friend of the family who I like very much is running for local public office. I think she would be terrible for the job and believe that her opponent (who is in office now) has done some courageous things I support. I know she will be asking me to support her publicly and I just can’t. I think some people in our area would look to my name and give it some weight and I just don’t want my name used for someone I can’t support. She is a very dear person. And in her family, family and friends stick together and personal connections are everything. I’m not sure she is going to understand my standing on my principles. But I think I have to do it. Any suggestions?

]]> By: renaissance chambara | Ged Carroll » Blog Archive » Links for 2007-08-16 [del.icio.us] http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11483 renaissance chambara | Ged Carroll » Blog Archive » Links for 2007-08-16 [del.icio.us] Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:28:23 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11483 [...] How to say no and stay friends [...] [...] How to say no and stay friends [...]

]]> By: Monica http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11454 Monica Thu, 16 Aug 2007 21:49:39 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/how-to-say-no-and-stay-friends/#comment-11454 A real friend would help with the fraud if the risk of apprehension is low or if he can deal with the consequences. For instance, I would not recommend committing fraud against one's own employer if keeping that job is important. But someone who feels more comfortable dealing with the consequences is morally bound to help his or her friend when the risks are low. Those who say that respecting the law is important would not feel the same if they lived under an oppressive regime with many bad laws. Only because local laws may not be that oppressive, that does not mean that the law is to be held in such high esteem that it should not be broken for a good reason, such as to help friends and family. If by law you mean not stealing from an individual (stealing from a large corporation is not the same thing), not raping, not killing, etc., then the law is good. Otherwise, the law is just a rule made by somebody else, often in the interest of the rich. If it was not for the punishment, I would break economic laws any time. A real friend would help with the fraud if the risk of apprehension is low or if he can deal with the consequences.

For instance, I would not recommend committing fraud against one’s own employer if keeping that job is important. But someone who feels more comfortable dealing with the consequences is morally bound to help his or her friend when the risks are low.

Those who say that respecting the law is important would not feel the same if they lived under an oppressive regime with many bad laws. Only because local laws may not be that oppressive, that does not mean that the law is to be held in such high esteem that it should not be broken for a good reason, such as to help friends and family. If by law you mean not stealing from an individual (stealing from a large corporation is not the same thing), not raping, not killing, etc., then the law is good. Otherwise, the law is just a rule made by somebody else, often in the interest of the rich. If it was not for the punishment, I would break economic laws any time.

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