Comments on: How to Give Kind Criticism, and Avoid Being Critical http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/ Simple Productivity Sun, 07 Mar 2010 05:06:07 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Scott H Young » Friday Links 07-10-04 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-36602 Scott H Young » Friday Links 07-10-04 Wed, 28 May 2008 17:44:13 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-36602 [...] How to criticize without being a jerk - Another useful article from Leo of ZenHabits, this time about how to give kind criticism. When I wrote my article about how to get honest feedback, many people took that as a sign that I approved of giving brutal honesty to others. [...] [...] How to criticize without being a jerk – Another useful article from Leo of ZenHabits, this time about how to give kind criticism. When I wrote my article about how to get honest feedback, many people took that as a sign that I approved of giving brutal honesty to others. [...]

]]> By: Berg Adder http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-17722 Berg Adder Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:01:40 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-17722 You can actually try being even less critical... don't even offer suggestions of how people can improve. Instead, praise what you'd like to see more of. Very sneaky. If someone tells you, "I really liked how this piece had nice long paragraphs," then you'll remember that, and tend to write in longer paragraphs rather than using bullets. You can actually try being even less critical… don’t even offer suggestions of how people can improve. Instead, praise what you’d like to see more of. Very sneaky. If someone tells you, “I really liked how this piece had nice long paragraphs,” then you’ll remember that, and tend to write in longer paragraphs rather than using bullets.

]]> By: Blog Movere » Blog Archive » Como fazer críticas sem magoar a pessoa http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-16297 Blog Movere » Blog Archive » Como fazer críticas sem magoar a pessoa Wed, 24 Oct 2007 20:13:07 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-16297 [...] post do blog Zen Habits aponta várias dicas interessantes para se fazer críticas de maneira mais [...] [...] post do blog Zen Habits aponta várias dicas interessantes para se fazer críticas de maneira mais [...]

]]> By: Emily Bloss » Driving Lessons http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15460 Emily Bloss » Driving Lessons Fri, 12 Oct 2007 21:33:54 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15460 [...] How to Give Kind Criticism [...] [...] How to Give Kind Criticism [...]

]]> By: links for 2007-10-09 « Simply… A User http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15146 links for 2007-10-09 « Simply… A User Tue, 09 Oct 2007 00:55:29 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15146 [...] How to Give Kind Criticism, and Avoid Being Critical | zen habits (tags: criticism social tips howto management lifehacks psychology productivity **) [...] [...] How to Give Kind Criticism, and Avoid Being Critical | zen habits (tags: criticism social tips howto management lifehacks psychology productivity **) [...]

]]> By: Jo http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15129 Jo Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:49:47 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15129 I think, Mark's point of view is bang-on. We all think we're right (or our point-of-view is the correct one) due to the experiences we made. It actually IS right - for us. It CAN be right for other people as well, but that's their decision. I think, sharing your experiences/point-of-view/anecdotes as a way of offering constructive criticism is a fair (and often successful) approach. This way you're offering a bit of your personal wisdom to somebody else and they can chose to use it or ignore it. It's up to them. You're not patronizing, you're sharing. @Leo: your last comment is actually a great example for this. Mark shares an idea and it started you thinking... I think, Mark’s point of view is bang-on.
We all think we’re right (or our point-of-view is the correct one) due to the experiences we made. It actually IS right – for us. It CAN be right for other people as well, but that’s their decision.
I think, sharing your experiences/point-of-view/anecdotes as a way of offering constructive criticism is a fair (and often successful) approach. This way you’re offering a bit of your personal wisdom to somebody else and they can chose to use it or ignore it. It’s up to them. You’re not patronizing, you’re sharing.
@Leo: your last comment is actually a great example for this. Mark shares an idea and it started you thinking…

]]> By: Leo http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15081 Leo Mon, 08 Oct 2007 02:04:55 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15081 @Mark: wow, that's one of the best insights I've seen on this. I think I'm going to steal this idea. ;) Seriously, if you'd like to write an article on this, contact me -- zenhabits at the gmail. @Mark: wow, that’s one of the best insights I’ve seen on this. I think I’m going to steal this idea. ;)

Seriously, if you’d like to write an article on this, contact me — zenhabits at the gmail.

]]> By: Phraedus http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15080 Phraedus Mon, 08 Oct 2007 00:39:21 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15080 Thanks for following up with how to give criticism Leo, much appreciated. It's really nice to be listened to in the comment section. I think the most important bit of this blog occurs at the beginning, in understanding your motivations towards criticism. I'd like to add to that with another step. What if your wrong? I've had previous problems with having good intentions with constructive criticism, and then delivered it in a conducive way. And I was wrong. I assumed that my friend must have had malice intentions towards me, that there was no way you could treat another person like that, and expect to remain friends. It turns out, his actions had nothing to do with me. You need to get outside your own head (hence the first set of bullet points) and examine your motivations, but also whether your criticism is warranted. The easiest way to do this? Ask them. Rather than go in and tell them there is a problem, ask them why they think they do something. There might be easier ways, or more sly ways, I'm open to suggestion. Phraedus Thanks for following up with how to give criticism Leo, much appreciated. It’s really nice to be listened to in the comment section.

I think the most important bit of this blog occurs at the beginning, in understanding your motivations towards criticism. I’d like to add to that with another step.

What if your wrong?

I’ve had previous problems with having good intentions with constructive criticism, and then delivered it in a conducive way. And I was wrong. I assumed that my friend must have had malice intentions towards me, that there was no way you could treat another person like that, and expect to remain friends. It turns out, his actions had nothing to do with me.

You need to get outside your own head (hence the first set of bullet points) and examine your motivations, but also whether your criticism is warranted. The easiest way to do this? Ask them. Rather than go in and tell them there is a problem, ask them why they think they do something. There might be easier ways, or more sly ways, I’m open to suggestion.

Phraedus

]]> By: Mark http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15061 Mark Sun, 07 Oct 2007 14:33:26 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15061 This is a great topic. And I think all your suggestions are valid. And something came to my mind while reading your article on how I deal with giving criticism to sensative people. I work with young people/teenagers. Talk about a sensative, eh? I've learned over the years after mutiple pesonal mistakes that criticism should never be given. Instead, we should think about communicating a message of information. I've realised that no one can tell another that they are wrong. It just isn't respectful. People make mistakes there is no avoiding that. No one can know what is right for anyone else. However we all have pesonal experiences that have allowed us to see life a little differently than the next person. So in my opinion, constructive criticism should be in the form of relating a personal anecdote of a lesson you learned that you want to share with someone else. In this way instead of using "you" words, you are using "I" words. The focus is on yourself. Your story shares a bit about your life and thus makes you vulnerable to criticism not the person you are relating the story to. The reference to the PCP in the above comments I would change to PSP. Praise, Share your story, Praise. I also want to point out that you guys and gals out there that are writing and blogging are already doing just that. You are sharing your personal stories for all of us to read and learn from. I thank you for that, and I thank you for the opportunity to comment on your stories. This is a great topic. And I think all your suggestions are valid. And something came to my mind while reading your article on how I deal with giving criticism to sensative people.

I work with young people/teenagers. Talk about a sensative, eh? I’ve learned over the years after mutiple pesonal mistakes that criticism should never be given. Instead, we should think about communicating a message of information.

I’ve realised that no one can tell another that they are wrong. It just isn’t respectful. People make mistakes there is no avoiding that. No one can know what is right for anyone else.

However we all have pesonal experiences that have allowed us to see life a little differently than the next person. So in my opinion, constructive criticism should be in the form of relating a personal anecdote of a lesson you learned that you want to share with someone else.

In this way instead of using “you” words, you are using “I” words. The focus is on yourself. Your story shares a bit about your life and thus makes you vulnerable to criticism not the person you are relating the story to.

The reference to the PCP in the above comments I would change to PSP. Praise, Share your story, Praise.

I also want to point out that you guys and gals out there that are writing and blogging are already doing just that. You are sharing your personal stories for all of us to read and learn from. I thank you for that, and I thank you for the opportunity to comment on your stories.

]]> By: Weekly Wrap Up 07/10/07 | Snoskred - Life in the Country http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15058 Weekly Wrap Up 07/10/07 | Snoskred - Life in the Country Sun, 07 Oct 2007 09:44:45 +0000 http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-give-kind-criticism-and-avoid-being-critical/#comment-15058 [...] How to Give Kind Criticism, and Avoid Being Critical - This is a handy talent to have - and any of us can have it simply by learning how to do it. [...] [...] How to Give Kind Criticism, and Avoid Being Critical – This is a handy talent to have – and any of us can have it simply by learning how to do it. [...]

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