Accept everything as it is, including your desire to change things.

Self-improvement is a natural process for most of us. Most of us want nice things; comforting things, be they fine furniture in a fancy house, or simply a good set of tools with which to fulfill a hobby. Why, then, would someone void their life of these natural and enjoyable things? Why would they deliberately impose idleness, boredom and a sense of pointlessness on themselves? That isn’t right thinking or right action at all.

It’s accepted wisdom that if you are tired, lie down and rest. If you’re hungry, then eat. So if you see a chance to improve something in your life and want this improvement, you should take the opportunity.

If your goals are wholesome and will better not only your own life, but those around you, then I’d say those are good goals to pursue and not in conflict with Buddhist ideas.

In Buddhism, a contradiction is meant to be looked at logically, to see what can be learned from it.

The “goal of no goal” paradox tell us two things:

1) it’s impossible not to have any goals (at some point you’ll have to rid yourself of the goal of ridding yourself of your last goal).

2) it *is* possible to have really stupid goals (like ridding yourself of all your goals).

If you stay in your boring, dead-end job because you don’t want to be goal-oriented, all you’ve done is trade a perfectly logical goal (better job and more happiness) for a completely illogical one (not having a goal).

The message in the bottle is simply this: “If you must have a goal (and you must), make it reasonable and worthwhile.” The process of deriving it logically from the contradiction just helps the student recognize it as a pure truth.

Know that what we speak of as “acceptance” is often denial in disguise The battered wife is not practicing “acceptance” by staying in her situation, for example; she is in fact denying herself the gift (and charge) of expressing Who She Really Is, and in doing so is suppressing her authenic self. The false her (”ego”) is “accepting its place” (in the abusive situation)… but it is FALSE! It can never become anything else, or “improve,” even if it “accepts” until she is finally beaten to death, because it is only a mask.

Strive for authenticity, to become Who You Are, the complete and true expression of who you are meant to be. Who you really are. That “You” is the one who is perfect.

But that’s not the “You” who is defined by the rules and rituals your parents and society gave you, or by the job you have, and hate.

I dare say just from what I see here that the true “You” does not belong in your current job, and the ambivalence you sense is a sort of Jungian signal from the subconscious about your next step towards authenticity.

Seek not so much to “improve” the you who you’re not, and instead seek to become the you who you really are.

Cheers,
Will

Imagine yourself on a long car ride, going cross country on a summer vacation without benefit of a/c, dvds, portable music etc (just like when you were a kid, right?). Except now you are an adult and your three adult sibs are packed into the family station wagon along with your distance father and unhappy mother. (Secretly, your extended family refers to your parents as the Bickersons.)
Anyway, its hot, its cramped, its negative, etc.

Being in the moment means living fully in the moment of this experience. Does that mean you join in the bickering? No way. It means you be the change you want to see in this less than ideal environment. Don’t poke your sibs, take in the vast countryside passing by the car windows, think about the personalities and relationships in the car.

Now, as your trip progresses, you family car stops at some distant, dusty crossroads. Low and behold, there is your significant other, smiling at you, holding out their hand, asking you to get out of the car and join them.

What do you do? Get out the car, naturally.

The family station wagon is the boring job, dead-end relationship or other current, less than stellar circumstance that impacts your life. It is not contradictory to recognize it for what it is, yet still remain present in it without making it worse.

Your significant other represents your desires. When those desirious opportunities present themselves, step out of your present situation and embrace them.

The point is not to jump out of the car before the opportunity presents itself. If you do that, you will experience a frustrating, lonely goosehunt where your significant other is no where in sight.

That my friend, is the definition of unhappiness. Searching for something that you cannot find because it must find you.

Get it?

“…you shouldn’t confuse contentment with complacency. You shouldn’t mistake being content with one’s job with just sort of not caring, not wanting to grow, not wanting to learn, just staying where one is when one’s situation is bad and not even making the effort to advance and to learn and to achieve something better.” (His Holiness the Dalai Lama, & Cutler, Howard C. The Art of Happiness at Work. p28)

His distinction between “contentment” (aka, acceptance) and “complacency” (spiritual laziness?) is what really helped be reconcile acceptance and striving for improvement.

Accept that you are or soon will be suffering; see what desires are causing you to suffer; realize that you can improve your situation; and improve it.