One Simple Principle to Live By: Purity

Leo Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:16 pm

Just a reminder for anyone about to comment: this is a guest post by Daniel of Daily Blog Tips.

A lot of people miss the little editor’s notes on guest posts and assume that I write these posts, so I’m hoping to pre-empt that.

Maybe I should make the note bigger? :)

sir jorge Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:17 pm

this is a great post, and i agree…purity is key

Sean Kelly Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:27 pm

I agree 100%. Imagine if everyone did pure things and not so many impure things…this world would be such a better place. But for now, I’ll just try to be as pure as possible to myself :)

Al at 7P Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:41 pm

This is a very nice post Daniel. I’m used to the simple-yet-powerful types of post that Leo usually has. This post was a great read and a great reminder.

Leo - I think there will always be people who will automatically assume you’re the author. You could put something like “Guest Post - ” at the start of the title, but I don’t see the author confusion being a big enough problem to warrant all that.

Stace Johnson Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:48 pm

Thanks for clarifying the author post, Leo. I read it in RSS and it didn’t seem to have the same voice that your posts do. The guest post comment was in the RSS feed too, but it was small print and I admittedly skipped over it.

I agree that purity is key, and I agree that Big Brother (and most of what’s on TV) is not worth my time. I feel unproductive and lazy when I watch shows like that.

However, I’m not sure I agree that it was right for Mr. Scocco to preach (to extrapolate from his “sermon” term) to his girlfriend about what she should and should not watch. Perhaps she has different ideas of purity, or watches the show in an entirely different way than he would.

My wife watches true crime shows, which I can’t stand to watch, for several reasons. However, rather than tell her she shouldn’t watch them, I do sometimes ask what she gets out of them. Without getting too personal without her permission, I think I can state that she has completely valid reasons for watching true crime that relate to helping her understand injustice and violence in the world. I would have never thought about those kinds of shows on that level; she watches those shows on a much deeper level than I can comprehend.

I certainly don’t know the details of Mr. Scocco’s personal life, but I would hope that he would give his girlfriend the benefit of the doubt, or at least ask what she gets out of watching Big Brother, rather than be Orwellian about whether she should watch them or not.

James Morphy Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:50 pm

Yes. Let’s turn our noses up at anything that doesn’t meet our ‘pure’ criteria. Let’s create some kind of standard of purity and condemn and avoid everything that doesn’t meet it!

Pure garbage.

Kim Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:54 pm

While I like the purity idea, I think we should restrict it to our own lives. Judging other people and spending an hour lecturing them on their tv choices does not seem like a good use of time, energy, or relationships. I will gladly use the idea to encourage myself to do more pure things, but I won’t use it to deny others their choices. And sometimes junk tv can help people relax and it is that person’s choice–not mine. I think Big Brother is a waste of time, but I can only decide that for myself, not others.

JERRY Says:

January 14th, 2008, 19:58 pm

I was surprised that Big Brother is still on the air, I would have thought that crap would have run it course. Or maybe i’m thinking of Survivor, either way it’s a waste of a precious hour.

Becky Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:03 pm

While I agree with the author’s main point - that we should choose carefully what we do with our lives, and that purity of intent is one good measure of that - I do dislike his generally judgmental and “Puritan” attitude, which he expresses in his actions with is girlfriend and in this paragraph,

“Have time to spare? Learn a foreign language. Spend some time with friends and family. Read a classic book. Learn how to play an instrument. Practice a sport. These are pure things.”

Sports is not necessarily pure.

Classic literature isn’t necessarily any more pure than modern literature. It depends on the particular piece and the reason for reading.

There is nothing impure about leisure and rest, and to say “this is pure, that is not” presents a very close-minded point of view. Even sex can be pure. Reading this makes me think the author would consider quiet time alone or even Zen meditation to be impure.

JEH Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:06 pm

I’m not sure “pure” is such a great category to make any decisions by. Racists see some races are as “unpure”, religious fundamentalists will say that many great works of art are “unpure”. Bastard dogs are often smarter and more healthy than “pure” dogs. Who makes the judgment about what is pure or not? Do you trust your own judgment?

Besides: Big Brother is the *best* of the reality concepts out there. There is usually so little guidance from the makers of the show compared to other shows, so it is actually possible to learn something about types of people I would do everything to avoid in real life. It’s educational.

I agree that most all other reality shows and soaps are poison. But that is because they are “emotional porn” that, just like real porn, shouldn’t be over consumed.

Kristin Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:09 pm

I agree with several of the other comments ~ to strive for purity in your daily life is a great goal to have and definitely something to give some serious thought to.

However, I don’t think it’s fair to put your purity on someone else….If someone is doing something that you would choose not to do based on your purity principles then maybe you should walk away and choose to spend time elsewhere.

Definitely a great idea though….we could use more purity in this world!!

sidebar : Any suggestions on how you can share your opinions about living a simpler life/purity/etc. without sounding “holier than thou”? I often want to share with friends and families but don’t like sounding as if I’m on some higher level of consciousness ;)

Denise Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:10 pm

I disagree.

You can copy the dictionary definition of purity, but it’s not so clear when you try to apply it to all the different aspects you did, for example, movies.

What are impure movies exactly?
movies with nudity? some would find this offensive, while others won’t. Or maybe porn? who decides if this is pure or not? it’s legal. what about violence?
I, by the way, enjoy the occasional (spanish) soap opera and do not consider it impure.

I don’t think purity is a viable measuring tool.

Michelle Dawn Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:13 pm

I found it too difficult to stay away from garbage on the TV -so in the end I just got rid of it!

Daniel Scocco Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:15 pm

Thanks for the this opportunity Leo.

@Stace: Yeah I agree that sometimes the matter is not black or white (or pure and impure as I described). On these circumstances you sure need to dig deeper.

Most of the important stuff in life, however, should have a more clear cut. The way you work, the way you treat your parents, if you tell lies or not, and so on. Purity is an abstract concept, but you sure can see (or not see) it throughout most endeavors.

Stace Johnson Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:16 pm

@ Kristin, who asks, “Any suggestions on how you can share your opinions about living a simpler life/purity/etc. without sounding ‘holier than thou’?”

I had a life mentor once who said, “Don’t injure others with your truth.” Basically, he was saying that just because something has become a truth for one person, that doesn’t mean the other person is willing, ready, or able to receive that “truth” in the same way. In fact, if someone is not ready to receive a certain piece of information, it can actually harm them.

To that end, I try to phrase everything in “I” language when I’m talking about something I believe in, rather than using imperative “you” language. I’m not always successful, but I find that it fits my integrity better and I’m less likely to come across as preachy.

Or maybe I just have a complete misconception about how I come across. If so, somebody please tell me! ;-)

Miller Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:17 pm

I guess this post was designed to instigate an argument, - after all, more comments, means more page views, means a ‘better’ piece, right?

Well, here’s me swallowing the bait.
Big Brother is a great petri-dish of social anthropology. Sure, the contestants are only in it for their fifteen minutes. We all know that. Fame 2.0 is pretty rubbish and BB is a prime component of the phenomena. Uh-huh, - not telling us a single thing we don’t know there. It’s edited in a sensationalist manner to make good television in order to increase ratings, - uh huh, yes, we know, we’re not stupid.

When you watch past all of this, into the more subtle things that go on (alliances forming, bullying, manipulation… and so it goes on) you get a great chance to observe human relationships and interaction. We can notice patterns that we recognise from ourselves, our colleagues and all though our own lives. Things are much easier to see as an outside observer than they are as a participant. All of this ‘reading’ on the human condition can be applied within our own lives to give us a much better understanding of what is actually going on around us.
In addition, a common thread of experience (ie watching a popular tv show) gives us something to talk about and discuss with others. Their reactions, opinions and thoughts give us even more of an insight into them and show us new perspectives.
I personally love reading books and learning new things. I also always get hooked on Big Brother, for which I will not be patronised. I don’t really see that there is anything to be gained by intellectual snobbery. There is knowledge to be gained (and value) in every experience, - good bad or ugly - pure, or not so. I think that once you decide that you ‘know better’, you close yourself off from many opportunities to learn; and that really is a shame.

Rob Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:19 pm

Although I enjoy the spirit of the article, how “pure” is a one hour argument with your girlfriend?

Stace Johnson Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:22 pm

@ Daniel

Thanks for the reply. I think you hit the nail right on the head in your response; there is far to much grey in the world to look at things as always black or white, though sometimes the black and white view of the world is necessary for an individual’s survival in the short term. (That’s another thing I learned from my wife.)

Interestingly, the Yin Yang symbol on these posts is an illustration of that. It’s composed of black and white, but each contains a seed of the other, indicating that neither is entirely “pure.” :-)

Atomic Bombshell Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:33 pm

I’m a regular lurker through my feed reader, but this post was so great, I had to stop by and leave a comment to let you know.

Tina Su - Think Simple Now Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:39 pm

I have similar feelings about TV. However, I still enjoy watching TV when I actually sit down to watch them. And out of all shows I can possibly watch, I especially like the trashy reality type. Something about not having to think is relaxing, yet, afterwards, I always feel crappy about myself.. to having wasted time watching trash or otherwise. I’m thankful I don’t have cable at home. :)

I’ve thought hard about this TV problem and I’ve recognized that we can’t just Tell people to stop watching it.. because people will not listen, unless they can directly related with the effects (more specifically the pain) of TV watching. It’s like telling someone they should exercise, people already know it but will not do so (willingly and automatically) just because you told them so.

For each of us who are addicted to TV. The question to ask ourselves is ‘Why are we addicted? Why are we so hooked? What benefits will watching this show bring to our wellbeing?”

I’ve written a recent article on the topic and how to overcome this addiction: “The 9 Step Television Diet”

Enjoy!

Warmly,
Tina

Allison Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:55 pm

I didn’t enjoy the fanatic, non-moderate tone of this guest post. I like zen habits because it is low volume (I don’t need a million posts on simplicity, just one good one) and there is a sense of moderation to the suggestions.

meh Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:57 pm

This is the lamest thing I’ve ever read on Zen Habits. Who watches TV to “grow as a person” anyway? This “purity” lecture sounds like an excuse to get all self-righteous and pass judgment on other peoples’ entertainment choices. How pure is that?

Gustavo Says:

January 14th, 2008, 20:59 pm

I don’t think it’s “impure” to watch a soap opera for example. I think one would be impure if he forced himself to sit and read a book or learn a new language while he’d rather be in front of the television to just shut down for a moment. There is time for everything and even silliness deserves its share.

Jon Bischke Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:14 pm

Great post. On the foreign language learning front, we’re in the process of launching something soon that I think people will find interesting. It’s a community-based site that allows people from all around the globe to come together and teach and learn via the wonders of video chat. Had to offer a shameless plug since you mentioned language learning. :)

Anyway, if anyone here is interested roll over to http://www.edufire.com and sign up and you’ll get notified when we go live. Thanks!

Mike Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:20 pm

I used to date someone that enjoyed delivering the more-than-occasional one hour harangue. Sometimes I wonder who she’s giving her lectures on correct living to now. Too bad we lost contact, I’d totally hook you two up.

Mike Peach Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:23 pm

Pompous puritanical ass!

David Lee Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:31 pm

I disagree. I don’t think “pure” properly applies in this context. Based on the definitions of pure the author cites he seems to be saying that “Big Brother” is polluted, dirty, or sinful. I agree that it is a stupid show. I agree that it’s a waste of time and that there are far too many shows like “Big Brother” on TV. I also agree that watching shows like “Big Brother” is helping to dumb down America. But, the cited definitions of “pure” have far too much of a moral connotation and I don’t think it’s a good idea for one person to be deciding what is morally acceptable for someone else. Morality is highly subjective. It is not a universal constant. I’d be interested in hearing what shows, movies, activities, and people the author views as “pure”. I’m sure if we asked that question of 100 different people we would get very different lists. Whose list should we use to decide the purity of something?

I also think the author’s approach with his girlfriend will end up backfiring. People don’t like to be preached to, told that they’re wrong, or made to feel stupid for their choices. His girlfriend may have agreed to try and give up Big Brother after an hour long sermon on its impurity, but deep down I’ll bet there’s some resentment. If the direct “your choice is wrong” approach worked, then we wouldn’t have any smokers, alcoholics, or drug addicts. We’d simply point out the downside of what they’re doing and they’d quit. Substance abuse professional have long known that you can’t force a person to quit. They have to want to. They have to decide for themselves that their behavior is wrong or counterproductive. Tell them that they’re wrong and they’ll defend their behavior no matter how wrong it is. As Dale Carnegie said in “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, “Nine time out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.” If the author really wants his girlfriend to give up Big Brother, then he needs to find an approach that allows her to feel that the idea is hers.

Chris Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:32 pm

“Apply the principle of purity to your life and it will become much easier to decide the things you should be doing and the ones you shouldn’t.”

Frightful. I find the fundamentalist overtone of this post is concerning. I dare say that all experiences can have merit of some kind, but it is our job to elucidate what it might be.

Turning off experiences simply because they are not “pure” is bound to make you more of a hater than you already are. You might not like your girlfriend’s show, and you are free not to watch it, however, when you advocate against the “impure”, soon you are burning books, banning films, and generally hating in the name of purity.

mnndma Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:36 pm

When you watch a show like Big Brother it is for “pure” entertainment. We make choices of what is important at a specific point in time. Sometimes I just want to be entertained, sometimes I want to learn. I do believe that we watch too much TV, but to say watching TV is impure is ridiculous, especially if all you want to do is get a few laughs in for the day.

May Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:55 pm

The tone of this post strikes me as rather religious—like something you might see in a Christian’s daily devotional blog. In the context of a devotional blog, it would be a perfectly fitting post, because the people reading it actually want to be preached to, and they are generally in agreement with the blogger when it comes to moral questions.

But here, where the readership is wide-ranging, posting a little morality tale with such a shallow message (”stop watching reality tv!”), is not going to help anyone.

If you had written a post called “How To Watch Less Television” with tips and ideas to motivate you to spend more time doing hobbies (without suggesting that watching particular shows is inherently bad), I think the post would have been more helpful. That way people who did want to watch less tv could get some practical advice, and people who weren’t concerned with their tv viewing could just skip the post (as one might skip a “How To Get More Exercise” post, or a “How To Be More Productive At Work” post).

After all, I think most people have been hearing the “tv is bad!” argument since childhood, and have never reacted to it with more than an eyeroll.

Ken Says:

January 14th, 2008, 21:58 pm

Big brother is not pure? What does that make reruns of Gillians Island?

Sindy Says:

January 14th, 2008, 22:04 pm

Great post, interesting discussion in the comments. I guess this means I should stop reading tmz.com and perezhilton.com, but they’re so juicy!!!

Arjewtino Says:

January 14th, 2008, 22:41 pm

Is it “pure” to bully your girlfriend into following your orders?

Debra Towsley Says:

January 14th, 2008, 22:42 pm

I think being ‘pure’ is a personal choice and that we each have our own intimate definition of what pure is. Some might think that watching “Big Brother” is a big step for them as they might have previously watched pornography, which they might define as less pure. I define pure as full of light and love. Someone else might not!
To give my opinion, I think conflict and judgement create a lack of peace and harmony. If one really wants to be pure in heart, judgement should be absent. I do think it is related to Zen and not just a religious discussion.

Billy Says:

January 14th, 2008, 22:50 pm

One way purity can be found in my relationship is from accepting and respecting the differences between the two of us.

Thanks,
Billy

Maura Says:

January 14th, 2008, 23:10 pm

Purity as “personal” hygiene… operative word: personal.

You, dear guest blogger, sound like the guy I last dated, who insisted on reconstructing me brick by brick in the image he wanted for himself. Considering his own major deficiencies, I asked him why he worked so hard at “fixing” me… and all he could reply was that it was easier than fixing himself.

In retrospect I can appreciate some of what he did, knowing that there is always room for improving one’s self, but if he’d concentrated his efforts on himself, there might have been a relationship worth keeping. Alas, his personal “hygiene” resulted in a noxious nastiness, and I tossed him out with the trash.

Purity indeed :)

Leo, this is good fodder for an article about reducing “clutter” in your life of a more metaphysical type… fits also with your theme of changing habits. Thank you for supporting your fellow bloggers, and thank you even more for reminding me why I appreciate your thoughtful articles.

Amateur Says:

January 14th, 2008, 23:23 pm

Television should be treated as entertainment for the most part and it is unfair to badger someone over the quality of what they watch unless it is too graphical for most mature people. It’s not very Zen to try to control and change the minds of others unless they are using your cable connection and your television. This post probably does not belong here on this blog.

Ryan McRae Says:

January 14th, 2008, 23:26 pm

I admit it. I watch Big Brother, but overall my TV watching isn’t huge. But what I do (drum roll for the justification) is that I do something ELSE when I’m watching this: clean a junk drawer, pay bills, something tedious that I just can’t handle doing quietly.

I only TIVO these shows so when I’m done with the tedium, I do something else.

Sonia Simone Says:

January 14th, 2008, 23:54 pm

Pema Chodron had a wonderful story about a moment exactly like this. The very pure and uptight boyfriend couldn’t quit hassling his girlfriend who liked to do things like eat junk food and read silly magazines.

When the boyfriend realized that his own attachment to his hardened ego state and judgmentalism were as addictive to him as candy bars and Cosmo were to his girlfriend, he burst into tears.

Zen and other forms of Buddhism are about cracking open these rigid (and illusory) walls. Suzuki Roshi would tell you Big Brother/Beethoven’s Fifth Sympony: no difference.

Erika Says:

January 15th, 2008, 0:01 am

So, I did not particularly object to the post, but that is because I mentally substituted the word “conscious” for “pure” since that is what all of the uses of “pure” beyond the initial definition seemed to be getting at. I have a feeling that if “conscious” had been used instead of “pure”, there would be a lot less disagreement.

Which makes me wonder, are people really trying to understand what the author is saying and then objecting to the particular word choice or are they having gut reactions to the word “pure” because they are reacting to what they think it means, not how the author was using it?

Will Says:

January 15th, 2008, 0:02 am

I would agree with this with a few caveats: I’m not certain purity is always the highest goal, since if you apply it too broadly, it leads to homogeneity. Still, this leads to a semantic argument about the definition of purity which i don’t feel i can flesh out well, so i’ll leave with these oft-quoted aphorisms:

Moderation in all things, including moderation. The perfect is the enemy of the good.

Bamboo Forest Says:

January 15th, 2008, 0:18 am

One thing that I find compelling in this entry is that there is literally so much we can accomplish if we use our time wisely. We could watch empty TV programming all our free hours, or instead, we could use those free hours to do some more meaningful activities. Activities such as martial arts, reading books on wisdom, spending time with friends and the like.

Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Says:

January 15th, 2008, 0:31 am

Purity for me is about purity in mind. I wrote about it my my ebook:

“Put practically, there are a lot of ways to do that. Turning off the TV would be a good start. Pick up a book, a newspaper, or a magazine that doesn’t have yet another celebrity’s drinking problem on the cover. Go to a museum, a gallery, an exhibit, a film festival, a theatrical production, a classical concert, or a jazz concert. Take a dance class, a cooking class, or even an investment class. Do a crossword puzzle. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Learn a language, learn an instrument, or plan an exotic holiday just for fun. Phew! I’m sure you get the idea.”

(Extract from Work in Progress)

P.S. I think you should definitely make the note bigger. I nearly chocked on my cereal (it’s 06:30 here in South Africa) when I read about an argument with your girlfriend, especially after yesterday’s post on being a dad!

Naomi Dunford Says:

January 15th, 2008, 0:33 am

Oh my goodness, I love Sonia Simone.

@ Erika - I can’t speak for the rest of the readers, but I object to neither “purity” nor “consciousness”. I object to Daniel Scocco lecturing his girlfriend on what is and is not an acceptable pastime and then blogging about it to 30,000 people as if this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

The only thing that I hope beyond hope is that this was a misguided attempt at a publicity stunt. I hope he gets his hits and his big spike in traffic and then never does it again.

All publicity may be good publicity, but it sure isn’t *pure* publicity.

Erika Says:

January 15th, 2008, 0:39 am

@Naomi you clarify another point for me. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with admitting that one had an argument, especially if it caused you to learn something about yourself. However, it is clear that people get judgmental when one admits a less than stellar personal situation and blogs about “purity”. Are you sure, Naomi, that you are not judging Daniel Scocco more harshly because he is blogging about purity than you might otherwise?

Norbert Colon Says:

January 15th, 2008, 1:05 am

I believe Hitler was big on purity.

Marley Says:

January 15th, 2008, 2:12 am

My humble opinion - the purity concept does raise a lot of very valid concern - many have stated this above very, very eloquently.

If you apply it to yourself then all well and good, and I’m sure it can do an individual a lot of good. It’s like your ‘moral compass’.

I too have grave reservations about judging others using something so subjective.

Made me think though!

Bruce Says:

January 15th, 2008, 3:01 am

First off, I recently found Zen Habits and have subscribed but I have to say this is one of the most offensive and narrow-minded posts I have read in a long time.

Whilst Big Brother isn’t on my ‘one to watch’ TV list I do sometimes watch crap TV programs. They allow me to appreciate the really great ones even more.

I dislike judgmental people imposing their idea of purity onto someone else, it’s annoying let alone offensive.

I hope your girlfriend leaves you for someone with more in common with her. Maybe she could then enjoy watching the programs she likes without your pompous sense of purity getting in her way and invading her soul.

Daisy Says:

January 15th, 2008, 3:34 am

Like Bruce I have recently discovered Zen Habits and have greatly enjoyed most of the posts. They are often pointers in the right direction, without being judgmental.

This post however. Wow.

Daniel Scocco is easy to judge others for having a different concept of ‘pure’ or of the ‘right way of living’. I’m just wondering a few things about his definition of pure.

You talk about purity, how can you consider guilt-tripping your girlfriend into changing her ways pure?

Isn’t pure, what we are inside, who we are when we don’t have to impress people? Including kicking back and enjoying Big Brother. She is true to herself, I call that pure.

Leo Says:

January 15th, 2008, 4:03 am

Gosh, guys! :)

I leave you alone for a few hours and you guys rip into my guest poster! I hope you don’t scare others away, as I like to have a diversity of writers and perspectives from time to time.

I can understand where you guys are coming from, and you are totally entitled to speak your opinions here. I do not want to discourage discussion — I think it’s healthy!

However, I would humbly ask that you be nice. :) Remember, Daniel is a human being, and it’s always generous to put your writing out in front of a big crowd like this. I find this kind of discussion is a good opportunity to practice the Golden Rule. :)

Shiroh Says:

January 15th, 2008, 4:28 am

What confused me first is girlfriend, since you are already married. Purity is Key; i love deperate housewives guess thats not so pure

Bruce Says:

January 15th, 2008, 4:39 am

Leo, I was being nice ;-)

I hope Daniel and his girlfriend find relationship nirvana, though I doubt it will be with each other.

Perhaps if attaining purity is Daniel’s goal, he may well find what he’s looking for in a monastery - where they don’t even have TVs.

As far as TV shows go, I have my own judgmental tendencies and despair when I’ve been told that Seinfeld isn’t as good as Friends. Personal preference I guess but something I’ve learned to live with.

The road to purity is one I veered off some time ago ;-)

Craig Says:

January 15th, 2008, 4:59 am

Is lecturing on which TV program to watch Pure, To me imposing opinions is “Impure”. We have had Dictators in the past lecturing on Purity, Perhaps the author needs to brush up on some classic history!

michael Says:

January 15th, 2008, 5:22 am

In principle I agree with the article. Watching BB and eating burgers or reading low quality papers is ok some of the time. However if you want to improve yourself then it’s best to do this in moderation.

Can you learn from BB - of course you can but unfortunately you’re not going to get many examples that help you to improve. The downside of BB is that for younger people or kids then it teaches them all the wrong things.

We all have a limited amount of time and in my opinion it is better to use that to learn and to grow. Filling your time watching “popular” TV doesn’t do that.

Are there religious parallels here…….yes there are and that’s not a bad thing.

On the other side of the coin……..if you are happy and content with who you are and what you know or can do then watching BB etc. is fine. If you want to reach life goals then it should be avoided. Neither is right nor wrong as all of us will fall short.

James Parr Says:

January 15th, 2008, 5:29 am

Like Bruce and Daisy I’ve recently found Zen Habits and had started enjoying the content (and as a couple of other comments have highlighted, the relaxed and open tone of voice). However this post has turned me off the entire blog to some degree I’m afraid.

Whilst I appreciate, Leo, that this is a guest post and that such posts are intended to some degree to suggest an alternative point of view (perhaps to your own, perhaps to your readers, perhaps even to society at large) this post goes far further than that I think. Even if this weren’t a blog about leading a more ‘zen’ life I believe this post would only reflect badly on the blog as a whole.

The author not only misses the irony of his failure to apply principles of ‘purity’ to his relationship with his girlfriend (who must have a zen-state to be envied if she can tune out a full hour of preaching and zealotry from her boyfriend) but also struggles to frame his ‘pure’ concept in anything more than vagaries. Such vagaries and hazily illustrated concepts are common usually to the world of fanatical religion. They are not (as Sonia Simone rightly points out) common to Buddhism or any Zen-like teachings.

The sort of intellectual snobbery that starts this post is repugnant (to me) at best. Dickens, although classic literature, was the soap opera of his day (as someone mentioned above, his work was serialised, not released in full novel form, and readers clamoured for the next instalment/episode, much like modern soap viewers. Any comments about the relative artistic merits of one production over the other are also entirely subjective…)

What irks more to me though, than the intellectual snobbery on display, actually comes from the comments, in which Daniel defends his position by saying that actually some things are harder to categorise, i.e. there isn’t always ‘black and white’, suggesting instead a grey, middle ground on some issues. Not only do I not believe that any issue is black and white (you can never be 100% certain of anything, even that 2+2 = 4, and for mathematic evidence of the above just ask) I also believe that this get-out clause of ‘grey’ cheapens the discussion. Saying “the world is not black and white, it’s grey” doesn’t begin to address the complexity of humanity. Indeed if you think it through logically adhering to the grey principle actually simplifies things: you have exchanged two colours for one!

I would love to see a more robust defence of his initial argument by Daniel here. I would also like to see Leo’s take on the issue in more detail, perhaps in the comments or even a follow-up post. Applying my principles of uncertainty above, I’m happy to be convinced that the entire post was more than puritanical, biased, faith-based zealotry of the worst kind.

Daniel Scocco Says:

January 15th, 2008, 5:37 am

Leo, I think the discussion and different point of views are always nice, and enrich our own position if nothing else. Thanks for everyone who posted a feedback.

First of all, many of the commenters have valid points, and I admit that my post has some flaws. For example I agree that the “purity” principle cannot be applied to all fields as I stated. I mentioned that because I wanted to pass the message, though, that it extends beyond our initial impressions (i.e. initially “pure” is very abstract, but if you take a closer look you will see it is around us on many situations).

Now the main counter-argument seems to be against my television doctrine :). Most people say that “I watch this to relax,” “this is just entertainment, I am not trying to grow as a human being when I watch TV,” and so on. Well, if the programs you are watching in the first are trash stuff, celebrity gossip and reality shows I still think you are wasting your time.

Notice that I am not saying you are wrong (or right) by doing so. I am just stating that in my opinion it is a waste of time. It is perfectly possible to develop the habit of reading or playing a musical instrument as a hobby, and after you have this habit you will have just as much fun with it as you would previously had with the TV. But the latter will do better to you.

And that’s why this blog is about ain’t it? About developing habits that in the long run can benefit us? Well that is the message I tried to pass on with the concept of purity. After all you can’t deny that playing a musical instrument or passing some quality time with your son is more pure than watching celebrity gossip on the television.

Finally, I also realize these are my opinions, and I am not trying to ram them down anyone’s throats, I am just sharing them.

Bruce Says:

January 15th, 2008, 5:49 am

No Daniel, you have been judgmental in your post and your judgmental attitude has been further consolidated by your recent comment above.

People like to zone out and how they do that I’m in absolutely no position to judge them, and neither are you.

Your post is so badly written the biggest surprise is Leo choosing to publish it.

And you haven’t taken up the challenge thrown to you by James Parr in his eloquent, and spot on, comment above.

Linda Says:

January 15th, 2008, 6:22 am

Daniel, I seriously think you need to think about the ways you choose to spend your time… You spent a whole HOUR lecturing some one else on their tv habits? A lot of this blog is about making good use of your time, and I don’t mean to be rude, but it sounds like you spent an hour bullying your poor girlfriend. The bit that especially gets me is how at the end she told you she would try to stop… I’m sure she would have said anything to get you to stop lecturing her! Where exactly is the purity in that? If you look deep in your heart, were your motives for your ’sermon’ really pure? Or did you just enjoy sitting on your high horse?

I’m sorry Leo for adding another ‘ripping into your guest-blogger’ comment, but please understand one of the reasons I love this blog is the loving and respectful way you write about every one, especially your wife. You also seem to have a very firm grasp on the concept of trying to change yourself rather then others and not being judgemental. I agree with Amateur, while this post may seem to fit in with your ideas, the general tone of it doesn’t belong on this blog.

Adam Says:

January 15th, 2008, 6:23 am

It literally made no sense. In no way is big brother less ‘pure’ or free of pollution than other activities. All you’re really saying is that you don’t like it; but then trying to dress this up in quasi-objective language is really irritating.

Istvan Says:

January 15th, 2008, 6:29 am

I have favorite quote, which, I think, applies here:

“Every time you get a strong impulse to talk about meditation and how wonderful it is, or how hard it is, or what it’s doing for you these days, or what it’s not, or you want to *convince someone else* (emphasis mine) how wonderful it would be for them, just look at it as more thinking and go meditate some more. The impulse will pass and everybody will be better off — especially you.”

Wherever you go, there you are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn

The point is: If you find Big Brother as a wast of time, it’s ok, then do not watch it. If you would rather like to spend the time with your girlfriend together, instead of her watching the TV, then provide her some alternative, take her to a walk, on a date, to the movies, to play basketball, to dance, or whatever. If you can not do this, then leave her alone. Because If you can not provide a meaningful alternative, then why bother what she is doing with her time?

Also, any time you get the urge to change her behavior, ask yourself first: Why this is bothering me? Am I selfish, am I righteous, am I too judgmental?

At the end, you can not really change others (inspire maybe), you can only change yourself.

And here is another quote from the above source:

“A student once said: ‘When I was a Buddhist, it drove my parents and friends crazy, but when I am a buddha, nobody is upset at all.’”

Leo Says:

January 15th, 2008, 6:41 am

I was asked to give my opinion on these issues, so I’ll make a few comments. A lot of issues have been brought up, and I won’t be able to address all of them.

First, many people have brought up the issue of Daniel’s girlfriend. I would prefer not to pass judgment on his relationship, as we only have a couple of sentences of information — relationships are usually way more complex than that. In fact, I think we would all be best to refrain from judgment here. I personally don’t tell my wife what to watch, although we often enjoy the same movies or shows.

Second, I have never watched Big Brother, so I don’t feel qualified to judge that either. I do know that most of the stuff on TV is worthless junk, for myself, but if others find value in it I can’t judge them. After all, I have found guilty pleasure in lots of bad movies and TV shows and books. Enjoyment is the key issue for me — I enjoy doing other stuff more than I enjoy most of the TV shows, but others might feel differently.

Happiness is the key for me. If something makes you happy, it is worthwhile.

But many things can make you happy. I suggest choosing the few things that you love the most, and focusing your life on those things to the exclusion of other things. If you love Big Brother more than anything else, that’s fine — for myself, most TV doesn’t fit into my small number of loved activities — being with my family, reading, writing, running.

Lastly, I respect Daniel’s perspective. I thank him for putting it out here, and stirring up this very interesting discussion. People have different ways of looking at things — let’s not judge them!

Kate Says:

January 15th, 2008, 6:47 am

Maybe something “pure” you could try is spending an hour trying to make your girlfriend happy, rather than criticising her for something really rather minor.

If you want her to stop watching it, surely a more effective tactic is to offer her something that she’d enjoy more. That’d make both of you happy, rather than make one of you feel superior and the other miserable and picked-apart.

Daniel Scocco Says:

January 15th, 2008, 6:54 am

Alright I will step back a bit. Istvan’s quote clarified what I believe other people were trying to say, perhaps with other words:

“Every time you get a strong impulse to talk about meditation and how wonderful it is, or how hard it is, or what it’s doing for you these days, or what it’s not, or you want to *convince someone else* (emphasis mine) how wonderful it would be for them, just look at it as more thinking and go meditate some more. The impulse will pass and everybody will be better off — especially you.”

I completely agree with it, and admit that my article was not completely (if at all) in line with this mentality.

Bruce Says:

January 15th, 2008, 6:58 am

Leo, his girlfriend is fair game in the context of his post since Daniel himself has criticised her for having ‘impure’ habits, publicly ;-)

So we can’t really refrain from mentioning her, or being judgmental about their relationship, as it forms the basis for his ill thought out argument on purity.

Linda Says:

January 15th, 2008, 7:06 am

Good on you Daniel, I really respect you for saying that!

anonymous Says:

January 15th, 2008, 7:14 am

Why the need for dichotomy? Why the need for judging or classifying according to these dichotomies? Isn’t “good” and “bad”, “pure” and “impure” in the eyes of the beholder (and *only* there)?

Lee Says:

January 15th, 2008, 7:58 am

I think it’s not fair to judge someone or something as pure and something else as not pure - one man’s pure is another man’s impure.
The book vs TV is a good example.
My other half and I often discuss this - we both do jobs in which are brains are constantly challenged during the day and when we get in from work we both need that hour or so of “switch off” to chill out, calm down and switch off.
He reads, I reach for the TV remote.
He often comments on ‘how much TV I watch’ but by the same token I could comment on ‘how much reading he does’. Both serve the same purpose for us - it’s immersing your mind in fantasy, an escapist ’switch off your hectic brain’ type of activity after the stresses of the day.
Why should one be deemed ‘better’ than the other?

Khurt L Williams Says:

January 15th, 2008, 8:03 am

I think Stace Johnson was on the right track but I would add another point. What is it about his girlfriend watching Big Brother that bothers him so? What meaning does he give to that activity?

Robin Turner Says:

January 15th, 2008, 8:13 am

It is not very meaningful to describe something as “pure” unless we can answer the question “pure what?” If a carton of orange juice is advertised as “100% pure”, it’s simple; they are claiming that it contains nothing but orange juice. But in what sense is Big Brother pure or impure? I suppose you could say it was pure entertainment (if you like that kind of thing), since there doesn’t seem to be any admixture of education, political commentary, philosophy etc. Is watching BB a pure activity? Only if you are totally absorbed in your TV watching to the exclusion of all else (including comments by your significant other). Few can manage that degree of concentration in any activity.

James Parr Says:

January 15th, 2008, 8:17 am

@Leo Thanks for the timely and well thought out response. I’m in agreement that ‘happiness’ is the thing. Despite my criticisms of Daniel, ironically I often feel the same way he does when I watch Big Brother - i.e. I struggle to see the point. Rather than think that this is because Big Brother is ‘impure’ though, I simply come to the conclusion that it’s not for me. I’ve even found myself trying to explain to people why it’s not worth watching (much as Daniel did with his girlfriend) but in reality any time I fall into that trap the only thing I’m doing is convincing them why I’m not worth listening too!

‘Understanding people’ is a notoriously hard thing to do. For all the merit in Daniel’s recommendations to pursue musical excellence there is a lack of ‘understanding’ about the specific lives people lead. Similarly for all the criticism of Daniel’s seemingly pious attitude to popular culture there is a lack of ‘understanding’ about what makes him tick (from me as well there).

Therefore perhaps the best approach, is rather than avoiding what pushes our buttons, winds us up and generally goes against our world-view, we should embrace it. So If you disagree with Daniel vehemently, ditch Big Brother for a week and take up the cello!

And Daniel, my challenge to you? Sit with your girlfriend and watch Big Brother (and any other reality shows she likes) without criticising, for a week. I promise I’ll try the same too (there’s one in the UK called Dancing on Ice at the minute, which is reality TV with Z-list celebrities; oh the horror!) and we’ll see what we all learn about each other…

Peace&LoveCowgirl Says:

January 15th, 2008, 8:47 am

Hello Leo, Daniel… and thank you two for all you do.

I’m just wondering… do the posters here who so vehemently object to Daniel’s argument with his girlfriend believe that they should never air an objection to a significant other?

This seems crazy to me, that we could never tell a partner or spouse that we dislike one of their personal habits. Arguments may result, but it can clear the air as well.

Perhaps the objection is that it’s not ever “zen” to tell anyone what to do… but we can sometimes accept the suggestions of others, right? That’s what I took away from the girlfriend’s acceptance of Daniel’s idea.

Can’t any of us be wrong sometimes? Is that why people here are getting upset, because they enjoy this sort of TV and don’t want anyone telling them that they feel differently?

Very strange…

steveb Says:

January 15th, 2008, 8:47 am

Nice post. I was lost at the start because I didn’t get the Big Brother comment until I read the comments. I thought he was talking about 1984, which was a fairly interesting movie (and an eye-opening book).

We don’t have a TV. From the guest writer’s perspective, this was a choice for purity. I would also call it a choice to raise the overall average level of quality in our lives by eliminating an aspect that was dragging down the mean. Our idea of quality was melded by Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance — the book not the movie or TV show, if these exist.

John of Indiana Says:

January 15th, 2008, 8:52 am

Interesting… I consider MY occasional Thoughts of Superiority over my minimal Teeeee-Veeee watching habits as a lack of compassion for others, thus something to “work on”, not to puff my chest up over.
I only have the right to criticize myself and those we elect to represent us in Government.
Tell us, Daniel, did your girlfriend throw the remote at you after the first hour of your pontificating?

michael Says:

January 15th, 2008, 9:09 am

Daniel,

Don’t be backing down because the majority think you are wrong. Gosh if everyone gave into the masses then we wouldn’t progress.

The common belief nowadays is that everything is valid and there’s no good and bad so dear help anyone who tries to judge.

You were correct in trying to discuss the issue of BB with your girlfriend as she is somebody you care about. SHe also has the right to try to ask in return for change in you and together you can grow.

Your article is thought provoking and I fear that some of the comments may have disillusioned you and any other potential guest posters.

There is nothing wrong with watching BB or Dancing on Ice or soaps or whatever but my summary of your article is that there’s so much noise and babble around that this can distract you from learning and improving.

The Zen blog tries to show you how to simplify your life and how to focus on the things that matter. Do something useful and use BB occassionally to escape but beware that it can consume all your free time (I mean TV and tittle tattle).

In my view your article is valid and I thank you for taking the time to share your opinions.

law dawg Says:

January 15th, 2008, 9:13 am

“Purity” requires a moral judgment, and we all know everyone agrees on morality, right? It’s worked out so well for our species to date.

The other bothersome thing is the assumption that “classic” works are a priori “pure.” This is nonsense. Many works we hold up as standards were written off as so much smut in their day. It’s that moral thing again, don’t you know.

This entire article is elitist nonsense.

Naomi Dunford Says:

January 15th, 2008, 9:55 am

@ Erika - I’m a little late for the party, but I’ll gladly respond. That may be the case for some, but when I saw the title of this post in my reader, I clicked right through to check it out for good reasons, rather than bad. I believe the purity concept is a brilliant one, and it was simply ineffectively executed.

I come from a highly religious background and while I no longer practice, I strongly believe that purity leads to a calmer life, greater productivity, a greater sense of peacefulness, and much more. I take issue with someone berating someone else in the interests of purity. It doesn’t seem in keeping with the spirit of his point.

I kept reading beyond my initial doubts for two reasons. One, I thought there might be a joke at the end. Two, I thought there might be a roundabout at the end where he discussed something a little more positive.

Yes, we’ve all had arguments, and many have been really dumb. We’ve all done things we regret. In this case, though, it doesn’t seem like an argument. It sounds like he was telling his girlfriend what to do and then publicly berating her and everyone else who gets neither the Orwellian reference nor the Roman one.

@ Leo - I can only imagine the guts it takes to put your writing in front of so many people who are not already your readers. I sympathize that it must be tough for Daniel, but I really don’t think it’s his writing people take issue with. People take issue with the attitude beneath the writing. Had he written an article about why TV sucks and just written it poorly, I don’t think as many people would have commented, viciously or otherwise.

@ Istvan (and now Daniel, too) - That is the best quote EVER.

deepali Says:

January 15th, 2008, 9:56 am

Well I agree with the message, I find the messenger a little bit self-righteous. It reminds me a bit of the evangelicals who show up at my door every Saturday morning - well-meaning, but somewhat insulting - to tell me that a better use of my time isn’t practicing sun salutations but rather to be in church. From their perspective, my heathen ways are damning my soul to hell. From Daniel’s perspective, “Big Brother” is sapping the intelligence and productivity from his girlfriend. But he forgets that knowledge can come in all sorts of forms and shapes, and can be found in places we’d never think to look. And that it’s at that point when we *think* we have the answers, that we should realize that we don’t really know much at all.

Psychologists often say that those traits that bother us in other people, are often the ones we fear in ourselves. It’s a thought I come back to often, when I find myself criticizing someone else’s behavior.

The Financial Philosopher Says:

January 15th, 2008, 10:19 am

“True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way. It can’t be gained by interfering.” ~ Lau-tzu

Personally, I find relaxation in watching “mindless” television programs. After a full day’s mental fatigue sets in, I am in no mood to use my brain. If we view everything as a “tool,” we can find use for anything as long as it is used correctly.

It’s all about attention allocation. If 75 percent of your “attention portfolio” consists of activities for personal growth, then the other 25 percent can be allocated to “rest.”

ARB Says:

January 15th, 2008, 10:24 am

Who said morality is subjective? If it really were, there wouldn’t be comments here saying it’s wrong to tell people of what is pure.

Defining something as wrong implies existance of a certain moral standard. Some people just don’t want to except it to avoid the guilt of being involved in impure actions of thoughts.

Diego Says:

January 15th, 2008, 10:36 am

I agree about your Big Brother comments but I strongly disagree on the “purity” thing.

The pure/impure argument sounds like an idea from the Inquisition.

Can you define pure?

Daniel Scocco Says:

January 15th, 2008, 10:46 am

@James Parr:Thanks for the these words (your second comment). I will try your challenge and see how it goes.

@Michael: Thanks, and yeah I was not backing down from my opinion. I still firmly believe on everything I wrote. I just recognized that sometimes what is true me is not necessarily true for others, not yet at least.

I am still reflecting on whether it is legit or not to give one’s opinion on what other people should and shouldn’t be doing.

I think for some issues it is not. You live your own live, and I can’t interfere with that.

There are some principles and values, however, that I think are universal, and if we consider these than you sure can tell people if they are on the track or off track.

ARB Says:

January 15th, 2008, 10:50 am

I have to correct myself:

Defining something as wrong implies existence of a certain moral standard. Some people just don’t want to accept it to avoid the guilt of being involved in impure actions of thoughts.

It’s easy to define pure when you can define good and wrong.

Art Gonzalez Says:

January 15th, 2008, 11:17 am

Purity of thought comes down to discipline over your mind. This is achieved through training and concentration. Obi Wan Kenobi said it well “Be mindful of your thoughts”. One´s thoughts determine our reality.

Art Gonzalez
Check my Squidoo Lens at: Quantum Knights

Matt Says:

January 15th, 2008, 11:22 am

Interesting idea but there is something to be said for watching what others are doing and how they’re behaving publicly. You can learn lessons from what others do even if its in the guise of mindless entertainment.

With that said I agree that most TV is highly overrated and should be placed along side other evils in the world.

Michael G Says:

January 15th, 2008, 11:25 am

I think that the author is misinterpreting what “purity” really is. Does it mean that someone who wants to watch Big Brother should not because the show does not exhibit the values that they would like to live by? I agree with the author that people should strive to be their best, take advantage of their free time to develop character. However, that does not mean that there are no breaks where someone can sit back and enjoy entertainment.

For example, look at all the weekly magazines that prey on celebrity gossip. They are hugely popular. However, the audience realizes that they are junk and not news and read them for the entertainment value. It is the same thing with Big Brother - watching it does not mean that someone wants to behave like the characters in it.

When the author explains that he spent an hour fighting with his girlfriend about watching Big Brother tells me that he got extremely frustrated, not because she was watching Big Brother, but because she would not agree with his value system. I think “purity” has to do with understanding that different people have different value systems and that one is not necessarily better than the other. The author even goes so far as to insult his girlfriend publicly in a blog stating that the average Big Brother watcher would not know George Orwell.

In all honesty, I think that the girlfriend is more “pure” than the author because she has admitted to herself that she can have some guilty pleasures and enjoy them without the “guilty” part. Does that mean that when she gets up from watching that she will not doing anything productive in her life? Absolutely not.

My advice to the author is: (1) Prior to writing a blog and posting it publicly, make sure that you are objective and have checked your emotions at the door. It seems as though this post is a personal attack on your girlfriend. (2) Understand that people are different and just because someone enjoys something that you don’t does not mean that it is wrong. (3) So, to be “pure,” accept who you are, and accept that others are different - even your girlfriend.

apocalypto Says:

January 15th, 2008, 11:26 am

well written, arguments are many but if one were to simply follow ” purity in thought ,word and deed”, i think any human being will overcome his/her miseries

Kelly Says:

January 15th, 2008, 11:26 am

I understand the emotive power of the word ‘pure’, but it general this post reminds me of one of “The Rules of Life” by Richard Templar. He encourages us to consider if our actions are for the angels or the beasts, for the glory or the degradation. This is always going to be a personal decision but for me it was very helpful in clarifying my choices in entertainment and life.