Ask Me Anything You Want - 100 Question Extravaganza
It’s something I haven’t done in awhile, so I thought I’d try answering reader questions today.
You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of.
I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.
Today I’m going to expand to answering 100 questions. If I get busy, I might not answer them right away. If I don’t get to your question, I apologize!
After I answer the 100 questions, I’m done!
I hope everyone enjoys this fun little feature.
So: Ask me anything you want!
Update: Questions are now closed! Don’t ask anymore!
- Posted on 4 March 2008 in Aboutzenhabits |
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Comments (315)
JP Says:
March 4th, 2008, 0:49 am
If there is just one thing you would like to say to a dad-to-be-in-a-couple-of-weeks, what would it be?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 0:54 am
1. JP asked: “If there is just one thing you would like to say to a dad-to-be-in-a-couple-of-weeks, what would it be?”
Oh boy. Tough one! Probably this:
You will have some long sleepless nights, you’ll have to clean up crap and pee and spit up, you’ll get exhausted and stressed and overwhlemed, you’ll deal with sickness and bruises and screaming …
… and yet, this will be the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to you. Endure the difficult first couple of months, and cherish those times when you can spend time with your new baby. He or she will change your world.
If I had a couple more things to say, they would be:
* Spend all the time you can with this baby, from the day she’s born until you die. Seriously, every minute possible.
* Love the baby with all your heart. When the baby does something that gets you angry, instead of scolding, just love.
* Do not neglect her mother. Get a babysitter and go out together. Give each other time to rest and be alone. You should share in the responsibilities as equally as possible. Love her, and don’t neglect sex (after she’s healed).
Faz Says:
March 4th, 2008, 0:57 am
What’s your advice to someone who’s on her journey to find her true voice and her true self?
Tim Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:00 am
What advice would you give to someone trying to figure out what they want to do career wise.
Thanks.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:00 am
2. Faz asked: “What’s your advice to someone who’s on her journey to find her true voice and her true self?”
Man, you guys aren’t asking easy ones! There is no right answer here, but here goes:
Listen, experiment, be bold.
Listen, because it’s only when we find quiet in our lives and can get away from the din of the world that we can actually hear our inner voice.
Experiment, because you’ll never know what you’re going to love until you try it. Do a variety of things until you’ve found your passion — or one of your passions, at least.
Be bold, because fear is what stops us from finding our calling, our love, ourselves. Don’t let fear stop you. Laugh in the face of that fear, and be bold.
Good luck Faz! You’re on a wonderful journey.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:02 am
3. Tim asked: “What advice would you give to someone trying to figure out what they want to do career wise?”
I’d give pretty much the same advice I just gave Faz (see #2) … finding your career should be the same, to me, as finding your calling and your passion, and in the end, your true self.
For many years I worked to pay the bills, but it wasn’t satisfying. Now I’ve found that I can pursue my passion and love what I do and still pay the bills.
So experiment. Be bold. And listen.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:05 am
4. Dan asked: “If you were a kitchen utensil, what would you be, and why?”
That’s funny! Did you seriously want me to answer that? :)
OK, just to play along: I’d be chopsticks! I love how you have to eat slowly with chopsticks, and focus on one bite at a time, instead of just shoveling in the food. It reminds me of Zen.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:06 am
5. Clay Collins asked: “Coke or Pepsi?”
I actually prefer water. Is that a cop-out? :)
I don’t drink soda anymore, but for many years in my youth I was a die-hard Pepsi fan. Now they’re both too sweet for me.
However … if you asked, “Elvis or the Beatles” … I’m a Beatles man. :)
Brian C. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:09 am
What motivates you and how do you stay continually motivated?
David Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:09 am
What do you think are the best ways to monetize a blog in your own personal experience, citing examples, mistakes and tips?
Clay Collins | The Growing Life Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:12 am
I already received one answer so I’ll completely understand if you have a one-questions policy. Respect. Here goes: if you had to go back to day 1 of Zen Habits and could only do two things to increase your subscriber base, what would those two things be (other than focusing on writing good content and article titles)?
Bec Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:15 am
I cant relax. I get anxious when have nothing to do so tend to fill my life with activity after activity and set unrealistic goals for myself so that Im constantly working towards them. Any advice?
Dan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:17 am
I was completely serious, Leo. That question, in my opinion, is a great way to see both someone’s wit and their priorities. The fun and the serious.
Or maybe it’s just a stale icebreaker question. Either way, thanks for humoring me. Nice answer. :)
FIRE Finance Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:18 am
What technique did you use to figure out the number of guest posts you needed to promote Zen Habits when you started out? How did you know which blogs to approach with your guest posts? Please advice.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:19 am
6. Brian C. asked: “What motivates you and how do you stay continually motivated?”
Many things motivate me — a strong desire to accomplish my goal, an enjoyment of whatever it is I’m doing, a public commitment to do my goal, accountability to others, rewards … I’ve written about this before and I hope to write about it within the next week or so.
How do I stay continually motivated? I can’t claim that! :)
I often lose motivation for things … but the key is to get back on track when you stumble. I actually have a post about this coming out tomorrow!
Sorry for the incomplete answer but I’d rather write some posts that go a little deeper, as this is a great question!
Ryan McRae Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:21 am
You want to sit and relax for 30 minutes. Regroup. Do nothing. Calm down after a hectic day. Eyes closed.
What songs do you listen to (they can only total 30 minutes all together!)?
Korey Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:23 am
What’s the best “mistake” you ever made?
In other words, since hindsight is 20/20, what at the time seemed like a mistake but in the end turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened for you?
Brian C. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:24 am
Thanks for the answer! Can’t wait for the post tomorrow. Keep up the great work.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:27 am
7. David asked: “What do you think are the best ways to monetize a blog in your own personal experience, citing examples, mistakes and tips?”
I can’t really claim to be good at monetizing blogs. ;)
For many months I wasn’t making much, despite getting a lot of traffic. Google Adsense, Amazon, Yahoo, Chitika …didn’t do so great for me.
I constantly experimented and dropped the lower earners. I hope to drop Google soon if possible.
My biggest piece of advice is not to focus on the money, at least at first. Focus on producing great content and drawing readers. Once you get the traffic, the money will come.
For optimization tips, I recommend ProBlogger.net.
Pam Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:29 am
Any advice for a college-bound teenager?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:30 am
Bonus question (not counted): Clay Collins asked: “If you had to go back to day 1 of Zen Habits and could only do two things to increase your subscriber base, what would those two things be (other than focusing on writing good content and article titles)?”
I can’t say that I’ve done anything wrong or that I would change anything. I’ve had incredible, unexpected success, and I have no complaints.
I’ve enjoyed this entire process, and don’t regret a thing! Sorry if that’s not the illuminating answer you were looking for, but it’s true.
erin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:31 am
Do you eat the same thing as your kids? We have 3 little ones and it feels like a constant struggle to get everyone fed without feeling like a short order cook.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:36 am
8. Bec asked: “I cant relax. I get anxious when have nothing to do so tend to fill my life with activity after activity and set unrealistic goals for myself so that Im constantly working towards them. Any advice?”
It’s not easy to learn to relax. Just like learning any skill, it takes practice. Do it a little at a time.
Start with one minute. Close your eyes, and just focus on your breathing.
Slowly increase the time you spend relaxing. 2 minutes. 3. 5. 7. 10.
Do different relaxation techniques for those time periods. Take a walk. Meditate. Massage your shoulders. Take a bath.
Don’t worry if you mess up in the beginning. It takes practice! If you falter, try again. Keep at it and you’ll get better!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:38 am
9. FIRE Finance asked: “What technique did you use to figure out the number of guest posts you needed to promote Zen Habits when you started out? How did you know which blogs to approach with your guest posts? Please advice.”
No technique to find the number … I just did as many as I had time to do!
As for which blogs, that’s a good question. I mainly looked at the audiences for each blog. I looked for medium to large audiences that would enjoy my writing.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:42 am
10. Ryan McRae asked: “You want to sit and relax for 30 minutes. Regroup. Do nothing. Calm down after a hectic day. Eyes closed.
What songs do you listen to (they can only total 30 minutes all together!)?”
Sheesh, you want me to actually put together a playlist? :)
I don’t have time for that, but I can tell you some artists that are one one of my writing playlists:
Radiohead, Coldplay, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, the Spoons, the Shins, Jack Johnson, Snow Patrol, Ben Harper, Bob Marley, Feist, a few others. :)
Ryan W. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:42 am
I have begun to over-analyze nearly everything in my life, which stresses me out and makes me constantly worried about things. I’ve been reading your posts a lot, I was wondering what would you suggest to get me motivated to begin relaxing more and not worrying so much? I want to change how I feel about everything but I can’t seem to mentally jump beyond the negative thoughts and worries.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:43 am
11. Korey asked: “What’s the best “mistake” you ever made?
In other words, since hindsight is 20/20, what at the time seemed like a mistake but in the end turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened for you?”
My first daughter. :)
Seriously, that sounds horrible, but she wasn’t planned. I was 18 and not ready to be a dad. I was in shock at first.
However, looking back, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me (equaled, of course, by my other kids and my wife).
Taylor Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:45 am
What would you suggest to a person who is constantly on the road (for work) to have a feeling of home?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:46 am
12. Martina asked: “Why six kids?”
Well, this will be an answer I haven’t written about before!
The full story: I am the natural father of only four of my kids, but all six live with us (well, most of the time). I was previously married and had two children with another woman. My current wife (Eva) had two kids with another man before me. We got together about 7 years ago, fell in love, and got married. We decided we really wanted to have babies together, so we had two more.
Six kids wasn’t planned. But I love all of them immensely and wouldn’t change a thing.
Miss Gisele from myBeautyMatch.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:48 am
Leo,
I have a list of top 100 MUST-does before I leave this earth and I have a list of top 25 places to visit?
Do you have one? If so, what are your top 5 on top lists?
I really enjoy your blog!
Gisele
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:50 am
13. Pam asked: “Any advice for a college-bound teenager?”
Well, college was one of the best times of my life (now being No. 1 for me). It was a time of freedom from the constriction of high school. I could choose my courses depending on what interested me, and work as hard as I wanted.
I excelled at it because I loved learning. I hope you love learning as much as I do, and if you do, you’ll have a great time!
My advice is just to really pour yourself into learning. Have fun, but don’t get too caught up in partying. Get caught up in the love for learning new things!
Also, don’t stress too much. Work hard, but don’t let it all get to you. In a few years, that exam won’t matter as much as the learning you did.
Miss Gisele from myBeautyMatch.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:50 am
Leo,
I sent you a question, but Word Press is acting up.
Gisele
Max Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:51 am
Do you agree that in order to be happy and to succeed, the most important element is to know ourself and if yes, what do you think is the easiest way to achieve that ?
Miss Gisele from myBeautyMatch.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:52 am
Hi Leo,
Something is up. My question did not make it to the post, so I’ll ask it again:
I have a list of top 100 MUST-does before I leave this earth + a list of top 25 places to visit. I think it’s important to have these types of HUGE-dream lists.
Do you have such lists and if so what are you top 5 on each list?
Gisele
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:53 am
14. erin asked: “Do you eat the same thing as your kids? We have 3 little ones and it feels like a constant struggle to get everyone fed without feeling like a short order cook.”
Usually but not always. I’m vegetarian but my kids aren’t. Some days my wife will cook chicken or fish, and then I’ll just make a simple meal for myself. On other days, I’ll cook a vegetarian meal we can all enjoy — such as chili or soup or tacos or stir fry or spaghetti. :)
Tiffany Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:53 am
What are the “10 essential feeds” that you have on Google Reader?
I find it really difficult just cutting out one feed because I am so attached to all of them. I think it is crazy how you got a hundred down to ten.
Max Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:53 am
What mantra do you “use” and why ?
Ram Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:56 am
How to get away from a habit? (Which you have used to to, but want to leave?)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:59 am
15. pavs asked: “What’s your secret to being success (in anything)?”
Hmmm. This could be a very long answer!
I would probably have to reflect on all my successes and try to sum it up with what I found in common. For example:
* Love what you do. This is one of the most important factors.
* Set small goals at first, ones that you will succeed at … then build on those successes!
* Build good habits from the beginning … those habits will build your success.
* Focus on positive thinking, always.
* Focus on the essential, eliminate the non-essential.
* Be generous and positive and friendly in all interactions.
I could probably go on forever. :) Hope this helps!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:01 am
16. Ryan W. asked: “I have begun to over-analyze nearly everything in my life, which stresses me out and makes me constantly worried about things. I’ve been reading your posts a lot, I was wondering what would you suggest to get me motivated to begin relaxing more and not worrying so much? I want to change how I feel about everything but I can’t seem to mentally jump beyond the negative thoughts and worries.”
Have you read my recent post on Going with the flow? I would suggest you start practicing some of those tips first.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:03 am
17. Taylor asked: “What would you suggest to a person who is constantly on the road (for work) to have a feeling of home?”
Hmmm. I can’t really say that I have a good answer to this, as I’m not much of a traveler. I would have a hard time being away from my family.
My suggestion is just to take your routines with you. For me, for example, I’d have a morning routine that included exercise and relaxation … that I could take anywhere.
Sorry I couldn’t help more!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:06 am
18. Max asked: “Do you agree that in order to be happy and to succeed, the most important element is to know ourself and if yes, what do you think is the easiest way to achieve that ?”
Oh boy. You guys are really throwing the big ones out at me. To be happy and succeed … I’ve written dozens of articles on these topics, and I couldn’t summarize them in one answer.
However, knowing yourself is definitely a huge step along that path. Easiest way to achieve that? Daily self examination. Meditate, or run, or just review your day … get to know yourself by studying yourself, conversing with yourself (maybe where no one can see you!), listening to yourself.
Amanda Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:07 am
How can I encourage my other half to live more … zen? My own life is going really well - work I love, time for me, fulfilling hobbies, etc etc. His isn’t - unhappy, high stress, no time, and no plan to change it. I’ve tried all kinds of ways to encourage him to get a better handle on life, and also tried saying nothing but just leading by example, so to speak, but without success.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:10 am
19. Miss Gisele asked: “I have a list of top 100 MUST-does before I leave this earth + a list of top 25 places to visit. I think it’s important to have these types of HUGE-dream lists.
Do you have such lists and if so what are you top 5 on each list?”
Impossible question! :)
But I’ll just make an attempt.
5 things to do before I die:
* become a published author
* complete an ironman triathlon
* help the powerless and suffering
* raise my kids to the best of my ability
* make my wife happy until the day she dies
5 places I NEED to visit:
* gosh, all of Europe
* Thailand
* Australia/New Zealand (can’t choose!)
* Japan
* China
* Amazon
* Alaska/north pole
OK, I cheated. I want to add another 20 places! :)
The Gilligan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:12 am
What is one book you love that you’ve NEVER mentioned on the blog?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:13 am
20. Tiffany asked: “What are the “10 essential feeds” that you have on Google Reader?
I find it really difficult just cutting out one feed because I am so attached to all of them. I think it is crazy how you got a hundred down to ten.”
I can’t reveal that, sorry. There are too many wonderful bloggers that I’d hurt if I did.
Anyway, it shouldn’t matter. What is essential to me isn’t going to be essential to you.
Start by eliminating 20 feeds that you don’t read much or that don’t give you value. Try that out for a week, then eliminate another 20 that don’t give you absolute joy or priceless information. Try that out for a week, then see which of the rest you get tired of reading and eliminate those.
Keep doing that until you have only the absolute indispensable ones.
eds Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:13 am
why is it “bad” to drink coke (coca cola & pepsi, etc)? And how frequently can I drink it (500 ml once a week?)
thanks
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:14 am
21. Max asked: “What mantra do you “use” and why ?”
Always stay positive!
Because it’s negative thinking that stops us from achieving our dreams.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:16 am
22. Ram asked: “How to get away from a habit? (Which you have used to to, but want to leave?)”
Replace it with a positive habit, first of all. For example, when I quit smoking, I needed something to replace smoking to fulfill my need for stress relief. So I took up running instead. Every time I would get stressed (the trigger for my old habit) I would do the new habit instead.
So identify all of your triggers for your old habit — what events in your day or life trigger the old habit? And what will you replace it with? Then make a big public commitment and really focus on creating this new habit.
See my guide to quitting smoking for some ideas — you can use it for anything:
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:18 am
23. Amanda asked: “How can I encourage my other half to live more … zen? My own life is going really well - work I love, time for me, fulfilling hobbies, etc etc. His isn’t - unhappy, high stress, no time, and no plan to change it. I’ve tried all kinds of ways to encourage him to get a better handle on life, and also tried saying nothing but just leading by example, so to speak, but without success.”
You can’t really change other people. Just inspire him by example, and show him how much you love your life changes. And learn to accept them for who they are — you are separate people and you can lead separate lives.
Here’s an article that might help a bit:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/07/how-to-find-peace-living-with-a-packrat/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:20 am
24. The Gilligan asked: :What is one book you love that you’ve NEVER mentioned on the blog?”
Hmm. There are so many! I love “Shibumi” by Trevanian. I wonder if I’ve mentioned that?
Also anything by Noam Chomsky. Oh, the historical fiction of Gary Jennings! Such as the Journeyer, Aztec, Raptor! Wow.
Oh man, don’t get me started on books. I could go on forever.
Jon Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:22 am
Question. What kind of bear is best?
J Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:22 am
You’ve given tips on how to start running, etc, but I’m way behind. Can you give any special tips for going from a sedentary lifestyle (ground zero) to regularly exercising? I admire your running habit.
Jeff Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:24 am
Who do you like in the presidential race?
(sorry- been bombarded with that all day.. real question to follow)
What sort of simplification around your home do you find to provide the most inner peace? If you could change one thing about your home (no strings/costs attached) what would it be?
Kelly Rigby Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:25 am
Hi Leo
My question is: What do you think are the qualities of a great husband and father, and are you happy with the job you’ve done so far?
Thanks. Love this idea, by the way.
Kelly
Maxwell Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:25 am
What’s Guam like? I live in Vermont, USA and I never have any trouble applying your advice. Is it comparable to anywhere in the US? I really don’t know anything about Guam, and that’s what I’ve always wondered when reading your articles.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:26 am
25. eds asked: “why is it “bad” to drink coke (coca cola & pepsi, etc)? And how frequently can I drink it (500 ml once a week?)”
I wouldn’t say it’s “bad” to drink cola, but personally I try to stay away from too much processed sugar. It gives your blood an instant insulin spike, and gives your blood-sugar levels a roller coaster ride. This is bad for weight loss, as it makes you really hungry once the insulin takes away all the sugar — your blood sugar levels will quickly drop to very low levels and you’ll crave an instant carb fix.
Anyway, this is all to say that eating sugar is fine, but do so in moderation. I like to choose my favorite desserts if I’m going to have sugar, instead of having it in cola. You might choose cola instead.
How often? I’m not a nutritionist … I’d say try to drink water most of the time, and maybe sodas on occasions such as going out with friends or parties or something. Make it a treat instead of a regular thing.
Lisa Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:27 am
thanks so much for your blog, which I recently discovered and really love. my question is: I’ve got 3 little kids and work full-time as a teacher (college, so I’ve got a relatively flexible schedule) I want to get back to my writing but never find time. Thanks to some of your tips I’ve finally made it a priority to exercise again, but can’t seem to squeeze out time to restart a serious writing habit. Any tips? It will help me professionally and personally, so I appreciate any advice. And thanks again for the daily motivation. (by the way- have you ever thought of doing a calendar and/or journal? I think a lot of what you do would work well in that format and provide people with regular inspiration in non-digital format! just a thought.)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:27 am
26. Jon asked: “What kind of bear is best?”
I like teddy bears. Bare butts are nice too. ;)
Jona Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:29 am
If there is no afterlife, what is really (I mean *really*) the point of living, loving, pursuing an avocation, growing, being kind to small animals, etc? If consciousness is only an illusion and all our experiences will just be lost “like tears in rain”, why live, why try … other than to avoid as much pain as possible until the inevitable end?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:36 am
J asked: “You’ve given tips on how to start running, etc, but I’m way behind. Can you give any special tips for going from a sedentary lifestyle (ground zero) to regularly exercising? I admire your running habit.”
Great question! I should really do a whole post on this.
Brief answer: start with walking. You have to walk before you can run. Just start with 10 minutes, 3 times a week. Slowly increase from 10 minutes to 12, etc until you can walk for 30 without problems.
Once you’ve formed the walking habit (at least a month, maybe 2), then try jogging for 30 seconds after a 10 min walking warmup, then walk for a minute or two, then jog another 30 seconds, and so on, for maybe 5-10 intervals.
Do this for a few days, then increase the 30 seconds to 45 seconds, and so on, until you are jogging most of the time. Soon you’ll be running the entire 30 minutes!
Of course … make sure you get checked up by a doctor. You may have health problems that would need more expert advice than I can give.
akt Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:36 am
how to improve communication skills?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:39 am
Jeff asked: “Who do you like in the presidential race?
(sorry- been bombarded with that all day.. real question to follow)
What sort of simplification around your home do you find to provide the most inner peace? If you could change one thing about your home (no strings/costs attached) what would it be?”
I don’t get to vote for president, but I would probably vote for Obama.
I really enjoy going through a closet and decluttering. I get more peace, however, from a really decluttered and clean living room when I come out of my bedroom and find a nice peaceful area. It gives me joy. I’m weird.
If I could change anything about my house right now it would be to expand the bathroom so I had a nice bathtub. Right now I just have a shower, and I think baths are supremely relaxing.
K Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:40 am
I love when you do this. :-)
After just reading the bread post today at GetFitSlowly I would like to ask what brand/type of bread you usually buy…or do you make your own?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:41 am
29. Kelly Rigby asked: “What do you think are the qualities of a great husband and father, and are you happy with the job you’ve done so far?”
Hmmm. I think just a desire to spend time with your wife and children, and to love them and talk with them and have fun with them, is all that really matters. Also, accept them for who they are. That’s difficult I think.
Am I happy with how I’ve done? I think so. I have made mistakes. I can definitely still improve. But I’ve tried my best, and I think overall I’m a good husband and father.
Steve Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:42 am
Philosophy- Can you explain ‘Buridan’s Ass’ from a Marxist perspective?
Bri Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:43 am
I’ve had trouble picking a major in college. Got any advice? I like such a variety of things so it had been tough and I am almost done with my sophomore year. I really do fine in school so its not a matter of something being hard or easy. I just feel like if I commit to one thing I’ll be missing out on other. I guess my real question is how do you get over being indecisive? It has haunted me my entire life.
Adam Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:43 am
What does your morning routine consist of?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:45 am
30. Maxwell asked: “What’s Guam like? I live in Vermont, USA and I never have any trouble applying your advice. Is it comparable to anywhere in the US? I really don’t know anything about Guam, and that’s what I’ve always wondered when reading your articles.”
Guam is like a little piece of the U.S. in the tropics. Kind of like Hawaii, but smaller.
It’s a lot like the US in many ways (we’re part of the US of course) … we all speak American English, have malls and bookstores and restaurants and McDonalds and most of the fast food places you have … Kmart and Home Depot … paved roads and American-style houses … American schools and government …etc. We’re consumers and workers.
Different from the US in that we have our own culture, and it’s very much an island. We have tropical weather, humidity and heat, heavy rains and hot sun, typhoons (same as hurricanes), coconut trees and geckos and snakes (tho not as many as some people think). We have our own native language and culture, influenced by the Spanish.
It’s comparable to a rural town in the US, mostly. I think just about everything I write about is applicable to the US.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:46 am
@Maxwell: I should add, I was born in Portland OR, and lived for years in the SF Bay Area and Seattle. I have relatives in Texas and Oregon and CA and Arizona and my mom’s family is from Wisconsin, so I know the US pretty well. :)
John Torres Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:47 am
What’s your advice for a high school student who just can’t seem to balance life and school? One always seems to prioritize itself at one time or another.
Susanna Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:48 am
Would you forgive someone you love who mistreated you in the worst way possible and accept their love or is it comprising one’s self to do so?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:48 am
31. Lisa asked: “I’ve got 3 little kids and work full-time as a teacher (college, so I’ve got a relatively flexible schedule) I want to get back to my writing but never find time. Thanks to some of your tips I’ve finally made it a priority to exercise again, but can’t seem to squeeze out time to restart a serious writing habit. Any tips? It will help me professionally and personally, so I appreciate any advice. And thanks again for the daily motivation. (by the way- have you ever thought of doing a calendar and/or journal? I think a lot of what you do would work well in that format and provide people with regular inspiration in non-digital format! just a thought.)”
Tips for starting the writing habit? I have so many! I recommend my other blog, WriteToDone. I have a few articles there about this.
Main tip, tho: start small. Just 10 mins a day. You can do that! When you’ve succeeded with that habit, expand it.
I haven’t considered creating a calendar or journal. Great idea, but I’m overloaded with projects right now.
Robert Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:49 am
- What’s your favorite dream car?
- What’s the best age for getting married?
wilson Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:49 am
Leo - what does it take to be “completley true” to anything you say and never tell white lies? What purity does it give you if you never tell a white lie - whether its work (calling in sick when you aren’t to help your father in law renovate your house when you leaves within a few days and you aren’t a handy man)? ;-)
Joe Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:49 am
Hey Leo, love your blog! Heres my question. I’m a 26 year old man that has never had a serious relationship, or really dated, How do I get started? I have lots of of friends male and female, though. I do feel stuck in life, working but didn’t finish my degree, and still live with my parents. Sometimes I feel I need to get that straighten out before I let anyone else in my life. Whats your perspective?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:51 am
32. Jona asked: “If there is no afterlife, what is really (I mean *really*) the point of living, loving, pursuing an avocation, growing, being kind to small animals, etc? If consciousness is only an illusion and all our experiences will just be lost “like tears in rain”, why live, why try … other than to avoid as much pain as possible until the inevitable end?”
Ah, an existentialist question! I can’t really claim to have all the answers in life, but I can tell you what I’ve learned:
We each create our own meaning of life. We do this by creating, by loving, by helping others, by finding happiness, by striving to improve. Even though we’re here for a brief time, and then we fade away … enjoy that brief time, and make the most of it, and take advantage of the wonderful gift of life we’ve been given!
Why? Because it makes us happy.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:52 am
33. K asked: “After just reading the bread post today at GetFitSlowly I would like to ask what brand/type of bread you usually buy…or do you make your own?”
I don’t have a brand, but I look for 100% whole wheat or whole grains, with no high fructose corn syrup.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:53 am
34. akt asked: “how to improve communication skills?”
Practice! Read, talk to good communicators, read some more. Practice some more, get feedback from those who are good at it, and practice some more. :)
Mike Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:55 am
I often find that zen habits (the actual habits, not the blog) are very personally satisfying, but not so impressive to others. For example, meditating on one article, or thought, can be very beneficial to the self, but is less impressive than being well read on everything out there.
What’s your advice for those with the ‘wish-I-could-do-more’ syndrome, who are also trying to live a balanced and rewarding life?
Or should I just stop caring what other people think?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:57 am
35. Steve asked: “Philosophy- Can you explain ‘Buridan’s Ass’ from a Marxist perspective?”
No. :)
I’m not a Marxist … if I were to associate myself with any political philosophy, it would be anarchism (not the violent stereotype that most people have, but the pure democracy nonviolent version) … only because I believe in true freedom and oppose oppression in all forms.
Marxism uses oppression to achieve its aims. To paraphrase Gandhi, there isn’t a path to peace … peace IS the path.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:00 am
36. Bri asked: “I’ve had trouble picking a major in college. Got any advice? I like such a variety of things so it had been tough and I am almost done with my sophomore year. I really do fine in school so its not a matter of something being hard or easy. I just feel like if I commit to one thing I’ll be missing out on other. I guess my real question is how do you get over being indecisive? It has haunted me my entire life.”
Just make a choice based on what you love most. In the end, it doesn’t make a huge difference. My choice of majors for my college degree hasn’t affected a single job I got since. The only thing that mattered was what I learned, and that applies to all courses, not just my major courses.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:01 am
37. Adam asked: “What does your morning routine consist of?”
It has been changing over the past few months. I experiment based on different things. Right now, it mostly consists of:
Have a cup of coffee and read.
Exercise.
Eat breakfast and shower.
Write.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:03 am
38. John Torres asked: “What’s your advice for a high school student who just can’t seem to balance life and school? One always seems to prioritize itself at one time or another.”
Hmm. It’s difficult for me to give general advice about another person’s schedule. For myself, I’ve always asked myself, what are the 4-5 things that I truly love doing? And then I plan my life around those things, eliminating the unnecessary.
For yourself, you want to focus on what’s most important. Eliminate the rest.
Esra Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:03 am
Hi Leo!
I’ve been reading your blog for some time now, and I should say that you’re a true inspiration!
My question: What’s the best way to get myself used to sleeping (and waking up) early every day? I’ve tried to apply this to my time several times, but failed, due to my social life, commitments, the lure of the internet and my blog…etc.
Thanks!
E
Steve Austin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:04 am
Q: What do you do with the darkness inside of you?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:05 am
39. Susanna asked: “Would you forgive someone you love who mistreated you in the worst way possible and accept their love or is it comprising one’s self to do so?”
Forgive them, but don’t let them do it again. There’s a difference.
If that person abuses you, get away from them and don’t go back. They will be sorry, but will do it again eventually. Instead, forgive them (inside your head) but don’t put yourself in the same situation.
eliska Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:06 am
How do you deal when life overwhelms you despite your attempts to simplify?
For example, if you were a student and had a particularly busy week at school, or if you found yourself in an emergency or helping loved ones through some sort of crisis - you generally cannot just cut out or delegate tasks in these situations!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:07 am
40. Robert asked: “- What’s your favorite dream car?
- What’s the best age for getting married?”
Don’t have one! I like the Cooper Mini. My dream car would probably be fuel efficient. I’m not really into cars.
Ideally, I would bike everywhere, but I haven’t managed that yet! :)
Best age for getting married? Well, wait until you’re mature enough to handle a relationship for the rest of your life … then get married when you find someone you love completely, who you can accept for who they are, whose company you’ll enjoy for the rest of your life, and who will love you and accept you back!
There’s no ideal age.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:08 am
41. wilson asked: “what does it take to be “completley true” to anything you say and never tell white lies? What purity does it give you if you never tell a white lie - whether its work (calling in sick when you aren’t to help your father in law renovate your house when you leaves within a few days and you aren’t a handy man)? ;-)”
I can’t claim to be able to answer this question. While I value truth, I’ve told numerous white lies. I strive for honesty but have not done it completely.
Sarah Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:10 am
As a recent convert to vegetarianism, I find it interesting that you are a vegetarian, but your wife and kids are not. How do you feel about raising kids who do not have the same beliefs about food that you do?
Leo's Fan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:10 am
What led to the kind of person (positive emotion, mindset and thinking) you are right now?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:11 am
42. Joe asked: “I’m a 26 year old man that has never had a serious relationship, or really dated, How do I get started? I have lots of of friends male and female, though. I do feel stuck in life, working but didn’t finish my degree, and still live with my parents. Sometimes I feel I need to get that straighten out before I let anyone else in my life. Whats your perspective?”
Gosh, that’s difficult. If you have good friends, I would say you’re doing pretty well. Maybe you just haven’t found the right person. However, it might help to expand your circle of friends. For me, my only serious relationships have started out with friendships, and then proceeded from there when there was mutual attraction.
If, however, you have been attracted to women but have had a hard time going beyond that, you might have a fear that needs to be overcome. That’s well beyond my abilities to address here — I would seek someone who is more qualified. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:13 am
Mike asked: “I often find that zen habits (the actual habits, not the blog) are very personally satisfying, but not so impressive to others. For example, meditating on one article, or thought, can be very beneficial to the self, but is less impressive than being well read on everything out there.
What’s your advice for those with the ‘wish-I-could-do-more’ syndrome, who are also trying to live a balanced and rewarding life?
Or should I just stop caring what other people think?”
Well, I think it’s impossible to stop caring about what other people think, despite what some people might say … we’re social animals, and it’s a part of our human nature.
However, yes, it would be good to examine your motivations. Are you doing something just to impress people, or are you doing it to be happy? It’s best to get out of the cycle of trying to impress people. Do it for yourself. The people who matter will be happy for you.
Rani Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:14 am
I’m a mother of a 4 months old, and currently working as research assistant. I love your website and try take your advice really seriously.
Regarding productivity and GTD, most literatures advise to eliminate interruptions in order to work more effectively. However, with a 4 months old baby, interruption constantly happening and this is unavoidable. I find it difficult to get things done because my baby needs to be attended like every 15 minutes or so.
Do you have any productivity advice for mother who’s dealing with a baby? Note that I’m fully breastfeeding, hence the option to outsource the care of my baby is not available until later on, likely after the baby is 1 year old.
Please help! thank you Leo!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:14 am
44. Esra asked “What’s the best way to get myself used to sleeping (and waking up) early every day? I’ve tried to apply this to my time several times, but failed, due to my social life, commitments, the lure of the internet and my blog…etc.”
Here’s my best article on this:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/05/10-benefits-of-rising-early-and-how-to-do-it/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:15 am
OK, guys … I need to take a break. Going running with my wife now! It’s a little after 5 p.m. for me.
I will try to get to some questions later this evening, and then will take another break and finish up in the morning.
Thanks for your patience and great questions!
Terrence Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:16 am
From years of being in the workplace, doing what makes me money rather than what makes me happy, I’ve lost sight of what my true passion(s) is(are). How did you discover your passion is your writing? Did it happen right away or over a long period? Can you recommend exercises for finding one’s passion?
Arbatt Nobb Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:19 am
How do you set yourself up to give advice? What I’ve learned is I don’t really know much of anything. I’ve been walking the path for a number of years and I can’t really say I’m in any position to give advice. The older I get the more I see what I don’t know. The longer I follow the Way, the less need I have to explain or set myself up as some type of authority. To help others is necessary. I just don’t understand the need to go public. It’s about giving up needs.
Dtrizzle Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:21 am
If a previous post about keeping online life simple, you mentioned that you stored all of your documents in google docs and all your email in gmail.
What do you do with important PDF documents such as a tax forms or a formatted resume that you need to access?
Warren Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:28 am
How did you quit smoking, or more specifically, how can I help my friend quit smoking?
Thanks!
WordPress Newbie Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:37 am
I’m trying to set up a WordPress.org blog through Yahoo! and it’s driving me crazy. I think I’m going to switch hosting companies to one of the ones recommended by WP. What hosting company do you use?
I love your site.
TesTeq Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:50 am
Is it moral to fight immoral people using their immoral tactic? Is it moral to sacrifice your ideals for tactic purposes? Does the end justify the means?
Leah Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:54 am
What time do you go to bed at night to be able to get up so early and still get enough sleep?
JEMi @ InMyHeels - Tips for Life, Love, You. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:01 am
my turn! :)
Hey Leo!
Would you say when you started Zen Habits it contributed to a personal change (since you are focusing on self improvement)
and if so,