Ask Me Anything You Want - 100 Question Extravaganza
It’s something I haven’t done in awhile, so I thought I’d try answering reader questions today.
You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of.
I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.
Today I’m going to expand to answering 100 questions. If I get busy, I might not answer them right away. If I don’t get to your question, I apologize!
After I answer the 100 questions, I’m done!
I hope everyone enjoys this fun little feature.
So: Ask me anything you want!
Update: Questions are now closed! Don’t ask anymore!
- Spewed into the world on 4 March 2008 in Aboutzenhabits |
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Brilliant comments (326)
JP Says:
March 4th, 2008, 0:49 am
If there is just one thing you would like to say to a dad-to-be-in-a-couple-of-weeks, what would it be?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 0:54 am
1. JP asked: “If there is just one thing you would like to say to a dad-to-be-in-a-couple-of-weeks, what would it be?”
Oh boy. Tough one! Probably this:
You will have some long sleepless nights, you’ll have to clean up crap and pee and spit up, you’ll get exhausted and stressed and overwhlemed, you’ll deal with sickness and bruises and screaming …
… and yet, this will be the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to you. Endure the difficult first couple of months, and cherish those times when you can spend time with your new baby. He or she will change your world.
If I had a couple more things to say, they would be:
* Spend all the time you can with this baby, from the day she’s born until you die. Seriously, every minute possible.
* Love the baby with all your heart. When the baby does something that gets you angry, instead of scolding, just love.
* Do not neglect her mother. Get a babysitter and go out together. Give each other time to rest and be alone. You should share in the responsibilities as equally as possible. Love her, and don’t neglect sex (after she’s healed).
Faz Says:
March 4th, 2008, 0:57 am
What’s your advice to someone who’s on her journey to find her true voice and her true self?
Tim Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:00 am
What advice would you give to someone trying to figure out what they want to do career wise.
Thanks.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:00 am
2. Faz asked: “What’s your advice to someone who’s on her journey to find her true voice and her true self?”
Man, you guys aren’t asking easy ones! There is no right answer here, but here goes:
Listen, experiment, be bold.
Listen, because it’s only when we find quiet in our lives and can get away from the din of the world that we can actually hear our inner voice.
Experiment, because you’ll never know what you’re going to love until you try it. Do a variety of things until you’ve found your passion — or one of your passions, at least.
Be bold, because fear is what stops us from finding our calling, our love, ourselves. Don’t let fear stop you. Laugh in the face of that fear, and be bold.
Good luck Faz! You’re on a wonderful journey.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:02 am
3. Tim asked: “What advice would you give to someone trying to figure out what they want to do career wise?”
I’d give pretty much the same advice I just gave Faz (see #2) … finding your career should be the same, to me, as finding your calling and your passion, and in the end, your true self.
For many years I worked to pay the bills, but it wasn’t satisfying. Now I’ve found that I can pursue my passion and love what I do and still pay the bills.
So experiment. Be bold. And listen.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:05 am
4. Dan asked: “If you were a kitchen utensil, what would you be, and why?”
That’s funny! Did you seriously want me to answer that? :)
OK, just to play along: I’d be chopsticks! I love how you have to eat slowly with chopsticks, and focus on one bite at a time, instead of just shoveling in the food. It reminds me of Zen.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:06 am
5. Clay Collins asked: “Coke or Pepsi?”
I actually prefer water. Is that a cop-out? :)
I don’t drink soda anymore, but for many years in my youth I was a die-hard Pepsi fan. Now they’re both too sweet for me.
However … if you asked, “Elvis or the Beatles” … I’m a Beatles man. :)
Brian C. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:09 am
What motivates you and how do you stay continually motivated?
David Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:09 am
What do you think are the best ways to monetize a blog in your own personal experience, citing examples, mistakes and tips?
Clay Collins | The Growing Life Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:12 am
I already received one answer so I’ll completely understand if you have a one-questions policy. Respect. Here goes: if you had to go back to day 1 of Zen Habits and could only do two things to increase your subscriber base, what would those two things be (other than focusing on writing good content and article titles)?
Bec Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:15 am
I cant relax. I get anxious when have nothing to do so tend to fill my life with activity after activity and set unrealistic goals for myself so that Im constantly working towards them. Any advice?
Dan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:17 am
I was completely serious, Leo. That question, in my opinion, is a great way to see both someone’s wit and their priorities. The fun and the serious.
Or maybe it’s just a stale icebreaker question. Either way, thanks for humoring me. Nice answer. :)
FIRE Finance Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:18 am
What technique did you use to figure out the number of guest posts you needed to promote Zen Habits when you started out? How did you know which blogs to approach with your guest posts? Please advice.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:19 am
6. Brian C. asked: “What motivates you and how do you stay continually motivated?”
Many things motivate me — a strong desire to accomplish my goal, an enjoyment of whatever it is I’m doing, a public commitment to do my goal, accountability to others, rewards … I’ve written about this before and I hope to write about it within the next week or so.
How do I stay continually motivated? I can’t claim that! :)
I often lose motivation for things … but the key is to get back on track when you stumble. I actually have a post about this coming out tomorrow!
Sorry for the incomplete answer but I’d rather write some posts that go a little deeper, as this is a great question!
Ryan McRae Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:21 am
You want to sit and relax for 30 minutes. Regroup. Do nothing. Calm down after a hectic day. Eyes closed.
What songs do you listen to (they can only total 30 minutes all together!)?
Korey Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:23 am
What’s the best “mistake” you ever made?
In other words, since hindsight is 20/20, what at the time seemed like a mistake but in the end turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened for you?
Brian C. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:24 am
Thanks for the answer! Can’t wait for the post tomorrow. Keep up the great work.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:27 am
7. David asked: “What do you think are the best ways to monetize a blog in your own personal experience, citing examples, mistakes and tips?”
I can’t really claim to be good at monetizing blogs. ;)
For many months I wasn’t making much, despite getting a lot of traffic. Google Adsense, Amazon, Yahoo, Chitika …didn’t do so great for me.
I constantly experimented and dropped the lower earners. I hope to drop Google soon if possible.
My biggest piece of advice is not to focus on the money, at least at first. Focus on producing great content and drawing readers. Once you get the traffic, the money will come.
For optimization tips, I recommend ProBlogger.net.
Pam Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:29 am
Any advice for a college-bound teenager?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:30 am
Bonus question (not counted): Clay Collins asked: “If you had to go back to day 1 of Zen Habits and could only do two things to increase your subscriber base, what would those two things be (other than focusing on writing good content and article titles)?”
I can’t say that I’ve done anything wrong or that I would change anything. I’ve had incredible, unexpected success, and I have no complaints.
I’ve enjoyed this entire process, and don’t regret a thing! Sorry if that’s not the illuminating answer you were looking for, but it’s true.
erin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:31 am
Do you eat the same thing as your kids? We have 3 little ones and it feels like a constant struggle to get everyone fed without feeling like a short order cook.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:36 am
8. Bec asked: “I cant relax. I get anxious when have nothing to do so tend to fill my life with activity after activity and set unrealistic goals for myself so that Im constantly working towards them. Any advice?”
It’s not easy to learn to relax. Just like learning any skill, it takes practice. Do it a little at a time.
Start with one minute. Close your eyes, and just focus on your breathing.
Slowly increase the time you spend relaxing. 2 minutes. 3. 5. 7. 10.
Do different relaxation techniques for those time periods. Take a walk. Meditate. Massage your shoulders. Take a bath.
Don’t worry if you mess up in the beginning. It takes practice! If you falter, try again. Keep at it and you’ll get better!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:38 am
9. FIRE Finance asked: “What technique did you use to figure out the number of guest posts you needed to promote Zen Habits when you started out? How did you know which blogs to approach with your guest posts? Please advice.”
No technique to find the number … I just did as many as I had time to do!
As for which blogs, that’s a good question. I mainly looked at the audiences for each blog. I looked for medium to large audiences that would enjoy my writing.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:42 am
10. Ryan McRae asked: “You want to sit and relax for 30 minutes. Regroup. Do nothing. Calm down after a hectic day. Eyes closed.
What songs do you listen to (they can only total 30 minutes all together!)?”
Sheesh, you want me to actually put together a playlist? :)
I don’t have time for that, but I can tell you some artists that are one one of my writing playlists:
Radiohead, Coldplay, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, the Spoons, the Shins, Jack Johnson, Snow Patrol, Ben Harper, Bob Marley, Feist, a few others. :)
Ryan W. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:42 am
I have begun to over-analyze nearly everything in my life, which stresses me out and makes me constantly worried about things. I’ve been reading your posts a lot, I was wondering what would you suggest to get me motivated to begin relaxing more and not worrying so much? I want to change how I feel about everything but I can’t seem to mentally jump beyond the negative thoughts and worries.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:43 am
11. Korey asked: “What’s the best “mistake” you ever made?
In other words, since hindsight is 20/20, what at the time seemed like a mistake but in the end turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened for you?”
My first daughter. :)
Seriously, that sounds horrible, but she wasn’t planned. I was 18 and not ready to be a dad. I was in shock at first.
However, looking back, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me (equaled, of course, by my other kids and my wife).
Taylor Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:45 am
What would you suggest to a person who is constantly on the road (for work) to have a feeling of home?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:46 am
12. Martina asked: “Why six kids?”
Well, this will be an answer I haven’t written about before!
The full story: I am the natural father of only four of my kids, but all six live with us (well, most of the time). I was previously married and had two children with another woman. My current wife (Eva) had two kids with another man before me. We got together about 7 years ago, fell in love, and got married. We decided we really wanted to have babies together, so we had two more.
Six kids wasn’t planned. But I love all of them immensely and wouldn’t change a thing.
Miss Gisele from myBeautyMatch.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:48 am
Leo,
I have a list of top 100 MUST-does before I leave this earth and I have a list of top 25 places to visit?
Do you have one? If so, what are your top 5 on top lists?
I really enjoy your blog!
Gisele
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:50 am
13. Pam asked: “Any advice for a college-bound teenager?”
Well, college was one of the best times of my life (now being No. 1 for me). It was a time of freedom from the constriction of high school. I could choose my courses depending on what interested me, and work as hard as I wanted.
I excelled at it because I loved learning. I hope you love learning as much as I do, and if you do, you’ll have a great time!
My advice is just to really pour yourself into learning. Have fun, but don’t get too caught up in partying. Get caught up in the love for learning new things!
Also, don’t stress too much. Work hard, but don’t let it all get to you. In a few years, that exam won’t matter as much as the learning you did.
Miss Gisele from myBeautyMatch.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:50 am
Leo,
I sent you a question, but Word Press is acting up.
Gisele
Max Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:51 am
Do you agree that in order to be happy and to succeed, the most important element is to know ourself and if yes, what do you think is the easiest way to achieve that ?
Miss Gisele from myBeautyMatch.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:52 am
Hi Leo,
Something is up. My question did not make it to the post, so I’ll ask it again:
I have a list of top 100 MUST-does before I leave this earth + a list of top 25 places to visit. I think it’s important to have these types of HUGE-dream lists.
Do you have such lists and if so what are you top 5 on each list?
Gisele
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:53 am
14. erin asked: “Do you eat the same thing as your kids? We have 3 little ones and it feels like a constant struggle to get everyone fed without feeling like a short order cook.”
Usually but not always. I’m vegetarian but my kids aren’t. Some days my wife will cook chicken or fish, and then I’ll just make a simple meal for myself. On other days, I’ll cook a vegetarian meal we can all enjoy — such as chili or soup or tacos or stir fry or spaghetti. :)
Tiffany Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:53 am
What are the “10 essential feeds” that you have on Google Reader?
I find it really difficult just cutting out one feed because I am so attached to all of them. I think it is crazy how you got a hundred down to ten.
Max Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:53 am
What mantra do you “use” and why ?
Ram Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:56 am
How to get away from a habit? (Which you have used to to, but want to leave?)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 1:59 am
15. pavs asked: “What’s your secret to being success (in anything)?”
Hmmm. This could be a very long answer!
I would probably have to reflect on all my successes and try to sum it up with what I found in common. For example:
* Love what you do. This is one of the most important factors.
* Set small goals at first, ones that you will succeed at … then build on those successes!
* Build good habits from the beginning … those habits will build your success.
* Focus on positive thinking, always.
* Focus on the essential, eliminate the non-essential.
* Be generous and positive and friendly in all interactions.
I could probably go on forever. :) Hope this helps!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:01 am
16. Ryan W. asked: “I have begun to over-analyze nearly everything in my life, which stresses me out and makes me constantly worried about things. I’ve been reading your posts a lot, I was wondering what would you suggest to get me motivated to begin relaxing more and not worrying so much? I want to change how I feel about everything but I can’t seem to mentally jump beyond the negative thoughts and worries.”
Have you read my recent post on Going with the flow? I would suggest you start practicing some of those tips first.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:03 am
17. Taylor asked: “What would you suggest to a person who is constantly on the road (for work) to have a feeling of home?”
Hmmm. I can’t really say that I have a good answer to this, as I’m not much of a traveler. I would have a hard time being away from my family.
My suggestion is just to take your routines with you. For me, for example, I’d have a morning routine that included exercise and relaxation … that I could take anywhere.
Sorry I couldn’t help more!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:06 am
18. Max asked: “Do you agree that in order to be happy and to succeed, the most important element is to know ourself and if yes, what do you think is the easiest way to achieve that ?”
Oh boy. You guys are really throwing the big ones out at me. To be happy and succeed … I’ve written dozens of articles on these topics, and I couldn’t summarize them in one answer.
However, knowing yourself is definitely a huge step along that path. Easiest way to achieve that? Daily self examination. Meditate, or run, or just review your day … get to know yourself by studying yourself, conversing with yourself (maybe where no one can see you!), listening to yourself.
Amanda Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:07 am
How can I encourage my other half to live more … zen? My own life is going really well - work I love, time for me, fulfilling hobbies, etc etc. His isn’t - unhappy, high stress, no time, and no plan to change it. I’ve tried all kinds of ways to encourage him to get a better handle on life, and also tried saying nothing but just leading by example, so to speak, but without success.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:10 am
19. Miss Gisele asked: “I have a list of top 100 MUST-does before I leave this earth + a list of top 25 places to visit. I think it’s important to have these types of HUGE-dream lists.
Do you have such lists and if so what are you top 5 on each list?”
Impossible question! :)
But I’ll just make an attempt.
5 things to do before I die:
* become a published author
* complete an ironman triathlon
* help the powerless and suffering
* raise my kids to the best of my ability
* make my wife happy until the day she dies
5 places I NEED to visit:
* gosh, all of Europe
* Thailand
* Australia/New Zealand (can’t choose!)
* Japan
* China
* Amazon
* Alaska/north pole
OK, I cheated. I want to add another 20 places! :)
The Gilligan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:12 am
What is one book you love that you’ve NEVER mentioned on the blog?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:13 am
20. Tiffany asked: “What are the “10 essential feeds” that you have on Google Reader?
I find it really difficult just cutting out one feed because I am so attached to all of them. I think it is crazy how you got a hundred down to ten.”
I can’t reveal that, sorry. There are too many wonderful bloggers that I’d hurt if I did.
Anyway, it shouldn’t matter. What is essential to me isn’t going to be essential to you.
Start by eliminating 20 feeds that you don’t read much or that don’t give you value. Try that out for a week, then eliminate another 20 that don’t give you absolute joy or priceless information. Try that out for a week, then see which of the rest you get tired of reading and eliminate those.
Keep doing that until you have only the absolute indispensable ones.
eds Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:13 am
why is it “bad” to drink coke (coca cola & pepsi, etc)? And how frequently can I drink it (500 ml once a week?)
thanks
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:14 am
21. Max asked: “What mantra do you “use” and why ?”
Always stay positive!
Because it’s negative thinking that stops us from achieving our dreams.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:16 am
22. Ram asked: “How to get away from a habit? (Which you have used to to, but want to leave?)”
Replace it with a positive habit, first of all. For example, when I quit smoking, I needed something to replace smoking to fulfill my need for stress relief. So I took up running instead. Every time I would get stressed (the trigger for my old habit) I would do the new habit instead.
So identify all of your triggers for your old habit — what events in your day or life trigger the old habit? And what will you replace it with? Then make a big public commitment and really focus on creating this new habit.
See my guide to quitting smoking for some ideas — you can use it for anything:
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:18 am
23. Amanda asked: “How can I encourage my other half to live more … zen? My own life is going really well - work I love, time for me, fulfilling hobbies, etc etc. His isn’t - unhappy, high stress, no time, and no plan to change it. I’ve tried all kinds of ways to encourage him to get a better handle on life, and also tried saying nothing but just leading by example, so to speak, but without success.”
You can’t really change other people. Just inspire him by example, and show him how much you love your life changes. And learn to accept them for who they are — you are separate people and you can lead separate lives.
Here’s an article that might help a bit:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/07/how-to-find-peace-living-with-a-packrat/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:20 am
24. The Gilligan asked: :What is one book you love that you’ve NEVER mentioned on the blog?”
Hmm. There are so many! I love “Shibumi” by Trevanian. I wonder if I’ve mentioned that?
Also anything by Noam Chomsky. Oh, the historical fiction of Gary Jennings! Such as the Journeyer, Aztec, Raptor! Wow.
Oh man, don’t get me started on books. I could go on forever.
Jon Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:22 am
Question. What kind of bear is best?
J Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:22 am
You’ve given tips on how to start running, etc, but I’m way behind. Can you give any special tips for going from a sedentary lifestyle (ground zero) to regularly exercising? I admire your running habit.
Jeff Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:24 am
Who do you like in the presidential race?
(sorry- been bombarded with that all day.. real question to follow)
What sort of simplification around your home do you find to provide the most inner peace? If you could change one thing about your home (no strings/costs attached) what would it be?
Kelly Rigby Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:25 am
Hi Leo
My question is: What do you think are the qualities of a great husband and father, and are you happy with the job you’ve done so far?
Thanks. Love this idea, by the way.
Kelly
Maxwell Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:25 am
What’s Guam like? I live in Vermont, USA and I never have any trouble applying your advice. Is it comparable to anywhere in the US? I really don’t know anything about Guam, and that’s what I’ve always wondered when reading your articles.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:26 am
25. eds asked: “why is it “bad” to drink coke (coca cola & pepsi, etc)? And how frequently can I drink it (500 ml once a week?)”
I wouldn’t say it’s “bad” to drink cola, but personally I try to stay away from too much processed sugar. It gives your blood an instant insulin spike, and gives your blood-sugar levels a roller coaster ride. This is bad for weight loss, as it makes you really hungry once the insulin takes away all the sugar — your blood sugar levels will quickly drop to very low levels and you’ll crave an instant carb fix.
Anyway, this is all to say that eating sugar is fine, but do so in moderation. I like to choose my favorite desserts if I’m going to have sugar, instead of having it in cola. You might choose cola instead.
How often? I’m not a nutritionist … I’d say try to drink water most of the time, and maybe sodas on occasions such as going out with friends or parties or something. Make it a treat instead of a regular thing.
Lisa Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:27 am
thanks so much for your blog, which I recently discovered and really love. my question is: I’ve got 3 little kids and work full-time as a teacher (college, so I’ve got a relatively flexible schedule) I want to get back to my writing but never find time. Thanks to some of your tips I’ve finally made it a priority to exercise again, but can’t seem to squeeze out time to restart a serious writing habit. Any tips? It will help me professionally and personally, so I appreciate any advice. And thanks again for the daily motivation. (by the way- have you ever thought of doing a calendar and/or journal? I think a lot of what you do would work well in that format and provide people with regular inspiration in non-digital format! just a thought.)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:27 am
26. Jon asked: “What kind of bear is best?”
I like teddy bears. Bare butts are nice too. ;)
Jona Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:29 am
If there is no afterlife, what is really (I mean *really*) the point of living, loving, pursuing an avocation, growing, being kind to small animals, etc? If consciousness is only an illusion and all our experiences will just be lost “like tears in rain”, why live, why try … other than to avoid as much pain as possible until the inevitable end?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:36 am
J asked: “You’ve given tips on how to start running, etc, but I’m way behind. Can you give any special tips for going from a sedentary lifestyle (ground zero) to regularly exercising? I admire your running habit.”
Great question! I should really do a whole post on this.
Brief answer: start with walking. You have to walk before you can run. Just start with 10 minutes, 3 times a week. Slowly increase from 10 minutes to 12, etc until you can walk for 30 without problems.
Once you’ve formed the walking habit (at least a month, maybe 2), then try jogging for 30 seconds after a 10 min walking warmup, then walk for a minute or two, then jog another 30 seconds, and so on, for maybe 5-10 intervals.
Do this for a few days, then increase the 30 seconds to 45 seconds, and so on, until you are jogging most of the time. Soon you’ll be running the entire 30 minutes!
Of course … make sure you get checked up by a doctor. You may have health problems that would need more expert advice than I can give.
akt Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:36 am
how to improve communication skills?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:39 am
Jeff asked: “Who do you like in the presidential race?
(sorry- been bombarded with that all day.. real question to follow)
What sort of simplification around your home do you find to provide the most inner peace? If you could change one thing about your home (no strings/costs attached) what would it be?”
I don’t get to vote for president, but I would probably vote for Obama.
I really enjoy going through a closet and decluttering. I get more peace, however, from a really decluttered and clean living room when I come out of my bedroom and find a nice peaceful area. It gives me joy. I’m weird.
If I could change anything about my house right now it would be to expand the bathroom so I had a nice bathtub. Right now I just have a shower, and I think baths are supremely relaxing.
K Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:40 am
I love when you do this. :-)
After just reading the bread post today at GetFitSlowly I would like to ask what brand/type of bread you usually buy…or do you make your own?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:41 am
29. Kelly Rigby asked: “What do you think are the qualities of a great husband and father, and are you happy with the job you’ve done so far?”
Hmmm. I think just a desire to spend time with your wife and children, and to love them and talk with them and have fun with them, is all that really matters. Also, accept them for who they are. That’s difficult I think.
Am I happy with how I’ve done? I think so. I have made mistakes. I can definitely still improve. But I’ve tried my best, and I think overall I’m a good husband and father.
Steve Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:42 am
Philosophy- Can you explain ‘Buridan’s Ass’ from a Marxist perspective?
Bri Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:43 am
I’ve had trouble picking a major in college. Got any advice? I like such a variety of things so it had been tough and I am almost done with my sophomore year. I really do fine in school so its not a matter of something being hard or easy. I just feel like if I commit to one thing I’ll be missing out on other. I guess my real question is how do you get over being indecisive? It has haunted me my entire life.
Adam Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:43 am
What does your morning routine consist of?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:45 am
30. Maxwell asked: “What’s Guam like? I live in Vermont, USA and I never have any trouble applying your advice. Is it comparable to anywhere in the US? I really don’t know anything about Guam, and that’s what I’ve always wondered when reading your articles.”
Guam is like a little piece of the U.S. in the tropics. Kind of like Hawaii, but smaller.
It’s a lot like the US in many ways (we’re part of the US of course) … we all speak American English, have malls and bookstores and restaurants and McDonalds and most of the fast food places you have … Kmart and Home Depot … paved roads and American-style houses … American schools and government …etc. We’re consumers and workers.
Different from the US in that we have our own culture, and it’s very much an island. We have tropical weather, humidity and heat, heavy rains and hot sun, typhoons (same as hurricanes), coconut trees and geckos and snakes (tho not as many as some people think). We have our own native language and culture, influenced by the Spanish.
It’s comparable to a rural town in the US, mostly. I think just about everything I write about is applicable to the US.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:46 am
@Maxwell: I should add, I was born in Portland OR, and lived for years in the SF Bay Area and Seattle. I have relatives in Texas and Oregon and CA and Arizona and my mom’s family is from Wisconsin, so I know the US pretty well. :)
John Torres Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:47 am
What’s your advice for a high school student who just can’t seem to balance life and school? One always seems to prioritize itself at one time or another.
Susanna Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:48 am
Would you forgive someone you love who mistreated you in the worst way possible and accept their love or is it comprising one’s self to do so?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:48 am
31. Lisa asked: “I’ve got 3 little kids and work full-time as a teacher (college, so I’ve got a relatively flexible schedule) I want to get back to my writing but never find time. Thanks to some of your tips I’ve finally made it a priority to exercise again, but can’t seem to squeeze out time to restart a serious writing habit. Any tips? It will help me professionally and personally, so I appreciate any advice. And thanks again for the daily motivation. (by the way- have you ever thought of doing a calendar and/or journal? I think a lot of what you do would work well in that format and provide people with regular inspiration in non-digital format! just a thought.)”
Tips for starting the writing habit? I have so many! I recommend my other blog, WriteToDone. I have a few articles there about this.
Main tip, tho: start small. Just 10 mins a day. You can do that! When you’ve succeeded with that habit, expand it.
I haven’t considered creating a calendar or journal. Great idea, but I’m overloaded with projects right now.
Robert Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:49 am
- What’s your favorite dream car?
- What’s the best age for getting married?
wilson Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:49 am
Leo - what does it take to be “completley true” to anything you say and never tell white lies? What purity does it give you if you never tell a white lie - whether its work (calling in sick when you aren’t to help your father in law renovate your house when you leaves within a few days and you aren’t a handy man)? ;-)
Joe Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:49 am
Hey Leo, love your blog! Heres my question. I’m a 26 year old man that has never had a serious relationship, or really dated, How do I get started? I have lots of of friends male and female, though. I do feel stuck in life, working but didn’t finish my degree, and still live with my parents. Sometimes I feel I need to get that straighten out before I let anyone else in my life. Whats your perspective?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:51 am
32. Jona asked: “If there is no afterlife, what is really (I mean *really*) the point of living, loving, pursuing an avocation, growing, being kind to small animals, etc? If consciousness is only an illusion and all our experiences will just be lost “like tears in rain”, why live, why try … other than to avoid as much pain as possible until the inevitable end?”
Ah, an existentialist question! I can’t really claim to have all the answers in life, but I can tell you what I’ve learned:
We each create our own meaning of life. We do this by creating, by loving, by helping others, by finding happiness, by striving to improve. Even though we’re here for a brief time, and then we fade away … enjoy that brief time, and make the most of it, and take advantage of the wonderful gift of life we’ve been given!
Why? Because it makes us happy.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:52 am
33. K asked: “After just reading the bread post today at GetFitSlowly I would like to ask what brand/type of bread you usually buy…or do you make your own?”
I don’t have a brand, but I look for 100% whole wheat or whole grains, with no high fructose corn syrup.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:53 am
34. akt asked: “how to improve communication skills?”
Practice! Read, talk to good communicators, read some more. Practice some more, get feedback from those who are good at it, and practice some more. :)
Mike Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:55 am
I often find that zen habits (the actual habits, not the blog) are very personally satisfying, but not so impressive to others. For example, meditating on one article, or thought, can be very beneficial to the self, but is less impressive than being well read on everything out there.
What’s your advice for those with the ‘wish-I-could-do-more’ syndrome, who are also trying to live a balanced and rewarding life?
Or should I just stop caring what other people think?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 2:57 am
35. Steve asked: “Philosophy- Can you explain ‘Buridan’s Ass’ from a Marxist perspective?”
No. :)
I’m not a Marxist … if I were to associate myself with any political philosophy, it would be anarchism (not the violent stereotype that most people have, but the pure democracy nonviolent version) … only because I believe in true freedom and oppose oppression in all forms.
Marxism uses oppression to achieve its aims. To paraphrase Gandhi, there isn’t a path to peace … peace IS the path.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:00 am
36. Bri asked: “I’ve had trouble picking a major in college. Got any advice? I like such a variety of things so it had been tough and I am almost done with my sophomore year. I really do fine in school so its not a matter of something being hard or easy. I just feel like if I commit to one thing I’ll be missing out on other. I guess my real question is how do you get over being indecisive? It has haunted me my entire life.”
Just make a choice based on what you love most. In the end, it doesn’t make a huge difference. My choice of majors for my college degree hasn’t affected a single job I got since. The only thing that mattered was what I learned, and that applies to all courses, not just my major courses.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:01 am
37. Adam asked: “What does your morning routine consist of?”
It has been changing over the past few months. I experiment based on different things. Right now, it mostly consists of:
Have a cup of coffee and read.
Exercise.
Eat breakfast and shower.
Write.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:03 am
38. John Torres asked: “What’s your advice for a high school student who just can’t seem to balance life and school? One always seems to prioritize itself at one time or another.”
Hmm. It’s difficult for me to give general advice about another person’s schedule. For myself, I’ve always asked myself, what are the 4-5 things that I truly love doing? And then I plan my life around those things, eliminating the unnecessary.
For yourself, you want to focus on what’s most important. Eliminate the rest.
Esra Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:03 am
Hi Leo!
I’ve been reading your blog for some time now, and I should say that you’re a true inspiration!
My question: What’s the best way to get myself used to sleeping (and waking up) early every day? I’ve tried to apply this to my time several times, but failed, due to my social life, commitments, the lure of the internet and my blog…etc.
Thanks!
E
Steve Austin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:04 am
Q: What do you do with the darkness inside of you?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:05 am
39. Susanna asked: “Would you forgive someone you love who mistreated you in the worst way possible and accept their love or is it comprising one’s self to do so?”
Forgive them, but don’t let them do it again. There’s a difference.
If that person abuses you, get away from them and don’t go back. They will be sorry, but will do it again eventually. Instead, forgive them (inside your head) but don’t put yourself in the same situation.
eliska Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:06 am
How do you deal when life overwhelms you despite your attempts to simplify?
For example, if you were a student and had a particularly busy week at school, or if you found yourself in an emergency or helping loved ones through some sort of crisis - you generally cannot just cut out or delegate tasks in these situations!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:07 am
40. Robert asked: “- What’s your favorite dream car?
- What’s the best age for getting married?”
Don’t have one! I like the Cooper Mini. My dream car would probably be fuel efficient. I’m not really into cars.
Ideally, I would bike everywhere, but I haven’t managed that yet! :)
Best age for getting married? Well, wait until you’re mature enough to handle a relationship for the rest of your life … then get married when you find someone you love completely, who you can accept for who they are, whose company you’ll enjoy for the rest of your life, and who will love you and accept you back!
There’s no ideal age.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:08 am
41. wilson asked: “what does it take to be “completley true” to anything you say and never tell white lies? What purity does it give you if you never tell a white lie - whether its work (calling in sick when you aren’t to help your father in law renovate your house when you leaves within a few days and you aren’t a handy man)? ;-)”
I can’t claim to be able to answer this question. While I value truth, I’ve told numerous white lies. I strive for honesty but have not done it completely.
Sarah Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:10 am
As a recent convert to vegetarianism, I find it interesting that you are a vegetarian, but your wife and kids are not. How do you feel about raising kids who do not have the same beliefs about food that you do?
Leo's Fan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:10 am
What led to the kind of person (positive emotion, mindset and thinking) you are right now?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:11 am
42. Joe asked: “I’m a 26 year old man that has never had a serious relationship, or really dated, How do I get started? I have lots of of friends male and female, though. I do feel stuck in life, working but didn’t finish my degree, and still live with my parents. Sometimes I feel I need to get that straighten out before I let anyone else in my life. Whats your perspective?”
Gosh, that’s difficult. If you have good friends, I would say you’re doing pretty well. Maybe you just haven’t found the right person. However, it might help to expand your circle of friends. For me, my only serious relationships have started out with friendships, and then proceeded from there when there was mutual attraction.
If, however, you have been attracted to women but have had a hard time going beyond that, you might have a fear that needs to be overcome. That’s well beyond my abilities to address here — I would seek someone who is more qualified. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:13 am
Mike asked: “I often find that zen habits (the actual habits, not the blog) are very personally satisfying, but not so impressive to others. For example, meditating on one article, or thought, can be very beneficial to the self, but is less impressive than being well read on everything out there.
What’s your advice for those with the ‘wish-I-could-do-more’ syndrome, who are also trying to live a balanced and rewarding life?
Or should I just stop caring what other people think?”
Well, I think it’s impossible to stop caring about what other people think, despite what some people might say … we’re social animals, and it’s a part of our human nature.
However, yes, it would be good to examine your motivations. Are you doing something just to impress people, or are you doing it to be happy? It’s best to get out of the cycle of trying to impress people. Do it for yourself. The people who matter will be happy for you.
Rani Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:14 am
I’m a mother of a 4 months old, and currently working as research assistant. I love your website and try take your advice really seriously.
Regarding productivity and GTD, most literatures advise to eliminate interruptions in order to work more effectively. However, with a 4 months old baby, interruption constantly happening and this is unavoidable. I find it difficult to get things done because my baby needs to be attended like every 15 minutes or so.
Do you have any productivity advice for mother who’s dealing with a baby? Note that I’m fully breastfeeding, hence the option to outsource the care of my baby is not available until later on, likely after the baby is 1 year old.
Please help! thank you Leo!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:14 am
44. Esra asked “What’s the best way to get myself used to sleeping (and waking up) early every day? I’ve tried to apply this to my time several times, but failed, due to my social life, commitments, the lure of the internet and my blog…etc.”
Here’s my best article on this:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/05/10-benefits-of-rising-early-and-how-to-do-it/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:15 am
OK, guys … I need to take a break. Going running with my wife now! It’s a little after 5 p.m. for me.
I will try to get to some questions later this evening, and then will take another break and finish up in the morning.
Thanks for your patience and great questions!
Terrence Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:16 am
From years of being in the workplace, doing what makes me money rather than what makes me happy, I’ve lost sight of what my true passion(s) is(are). How did you discover your passion is your writing? Did it happen right away or over a long period? Can you recommend exercises for finding one’s passion?
Arbatt Nobb Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:19 am
How do you set yourself up to give advice? What I’ve learned is I don’t really know much of anything. I’ve been walking the path for a number of years and I can’t really say I’m in any position to give advice. The older I get the more I see what I don’t know. The longer I follow the Way, the less need I have to explain or set myself up as some type of authority. To help others is necessary. I just don’t understand the need to go public. It’s about giving up needs.
Dtrizzle Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:21 am
If a previous post about keeping online life simple, you mentioned that you stored all of your documents in google docs and all your email in gmail.
What do you do with important PDF documents such as a tax forms or a formatted resume that you need to access?
Warren Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:28 am
How did you quit smoking, or more specifically, how can I help my friend quit smoking?
Thanks!
WordPress Newbie Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:37 am
I’m trying to set up a WordPress.org blog through Yahoo! and it’s driving me crazy. I think I’m going to switch hosting companies to one of the ones recommended by WP. What hosting company do you use?
I love your site.
TesTeq Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:50 am
Is it moral to fight immoral people using their immoral tactic? Is it moral to sacrifice your ideals for tactic purposes? Does the end justify the means?
Leah Says:
March 4th, 2008, 3:54 am
What time do you go to bed at night to be able to get up so early and still get enough sleep?
JEMi @ InMyHeels - Tips for Life, Love, You. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:01 am
my turn! :)
Hey Leo!
Would you say when you started Zen Habits it contributed to a personal change (since you are focusing on self improvement)
and if so, how have you kept up the positive “momentum” so to speak - in your own life as well as whats reflected on the charming ZenHabits :)
…I can have a 2 part question right? Darn.. I think that makes three :-D
David Rojas Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:08 am
Dear Leo:
I found your blog recently, and I’m totally hooked :-)
My question is: When are you going to make a podcast?
Aurora Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:22 am
How do you recommend staying strong when that little seed of doubt creeps in: the expectations of family and friends, the more-acceptable career choices of society, and the collegiate training you’ve already had down, now you’ve realized, the entirely wrong path? I want to do something artistic but feel like society is set up to pressure me into anything but. America doesn’t seem to honor one’s inner voice. if you have a mantra to stay on track, or something you suggest using as explanation to family when they ask why you “went astray” or try to herd you back, I would love to hear it!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:30 am
I’m back for a couple of questions, then I need to shower and go meeting with our priest. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:31 am
45. Steve Austin asked: “What do you do with the darkness inside of you?”
Let the light inside!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:32 am
46. eliska asked: “How do you deal when life overwhelms you despite your attempts to simplify?
For example, if you were a student and had a particularly busy week at school, or if you found yourself in an emergency or helping loved ones through some sort of crisis - you generally cannot just cut out or delegate tasks in these situations!”
Well, just look at it as a bump in the road. You wouldn’t stop driving every time you came across a bump would you? Instead, you’d either slow down to go over it, or go around it … but either way, you’d keep driving.
Same thing with simplifying. There will be times when your life gets complicated. You can put the simplifying on hold, or find ways to remain calm during these times of stress. Either way, get back on track when you’re done!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:36 am
47. Sarah asked: “As a recent convert to vegetarianism, I find it interesting that you are a vegetarian, but your wife and kids are not. How do you feel about raising kids who do not have the same beliefs about food that you do?”
In a perfect world, everyone would be vegetarian. However, in the real world, there’s no way to convert everyone to your beliefs. You have to allow others to live their lives, and just lead the best life you can.
For myself, I try to lead by example and inspire with enthusiasm. I’ve gotten them to eat a lot of vegetarian dishes, and I believe that’s a great start. My wife has recently become a pescatarian, which is no meat except seafood. That’s a huge step. One step at a time.
My kids might never become vegetarian, and I don’t believe in forcing them. However, I do believe in educating them, which I am doing slowly.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:38 am
48. Leo’s Fan asked: “What led to the kind of person (positive emotion, mindset and thinking) you are right now?”
Gosh, so many things I couldn’t begin to name them all. My mom is a very positive person, first of all. I’ve also had a lot of life lessons that have taught me that negative thinking leads to nothing good, and that positive thinking leads to everything I’ve every wanted, including happiness. So by reinforcing my positive thinking with lots of little successes, Life itself has led me to be who I am.
Rob Lawton Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:40 am
Hi Leo,
You were asked previously to give 10 favourite google reader feeds, and you didn’t give any clues, and what you like, others might not.
So, for me who’s just getting started reading your blog, and finding usefulness in Zen Habits, what other sites/feeds would you recommend to get me started?
Go on… share a few you like… :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:42 am
49. macmuc asked: “Do you use any kind of Software to organise yourself ?”
Besides the software I named in my recent post on the Zen of Tech (see yesterday’s post I think), I also use a few different text files plus Quicksilver plus GeekTool. Basically, it’s just text files with to-do lists and ideas. With Quicksilver, I can quickly add stuff to these lists with the append text command. GeekTool just displays them on my desktop for easy access.
I’ll write about my setup soon in more detail.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:45 am
50. Rani asked: “Regarding productivity and GTD, most literatures advise to eliminate interruptions in order to work more effectively. However, with a 4 months old baby, interruption constantly happening and this is unavoidable. I find it difficult to get things done because my baby needs to be attended like every 15 minutes or so.
Do you have any productivity advice for mother who’s dealing with a baby? Note that I’m fully breastfeeding, hence the option to outsource the care of my baby is not available until later on, likely after the baby is 1 year old.”
Very difficult question. A couple of things to say:
1. If you are intent on doing work, it would be important to find times when you can do it uninterrupted. That means you might ask your husband to watch the baby for a couple of hours in the morning or night while you work. He can feed the baby with expressed milk. Also look for time on weekends where he can watch the baby.
2. But you might find ways to cut back on your productivity while your baby is so young. Simplify your life, do less, and enjoy this magical time!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:45 am
OK, gonna take another break! Will be back in an hour or two. Thanks guys!
Mart Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:59 am
My life is a mess right now. I’m struggling in college even though I’m trying to apply for a scholarship to study abroad for a year. To get it I need to really buckle up. I have basketball practice and gym 5 times a week and I make it to 3 of those usually because I just can’t be bothered. My love life is crap especially because I’ve been hanging out with an ex who I still have feelings for and she has someone else, so that’s bringing me down.
I just feel like I’m in a crappy lazy habit and it’s hard to break out of it. It just feels “default” to sit on my bed and surf aimlessly instead of reading a book for school or going to gym. I *know* it’s bad and I’m just wasting away but I don’t know how to start. Any help would be appreciated.
John Says:
March 4th, 2008, 4:59 am
A quick question on procrastination - sorry, I’m a new visitor (only been around for a week) so I may have missed stuff you’ve already written on it.
My procrastination is killing me - I do it all the time at work, actively avoiding doing things until i’m so time compressed that I have no choice but to rush and produce bad quality work. It’s not as if I’ve only done this once - I do it all the time, and unless I’m lucky, it’s going to seriously affect my career. (I write responses to IT bids, and each one is usually 40-50 pages of technical detail and project management plans)
So, the question - have you got any tips on managing procrastination? I use a lot of online tools as part of my job, so, unfortunately, a major distractor can be just a single tab away from my work.
Or, should I just be honest with myself and admit that the reason why I procrastinate is that I don’t like what i’m doing? :)
John Says:
March 4th, 2008, 5:01 am
p.s. - i’ve tried GTD four times, and I manage to procrastinate my way out of that too!
Jennifer Says:
March 4th, 2008, 5:33 am
Hi Leo,
I’m a student from Europe, who has been struggling with chronic illness since childhood. A huge problem for me is a general lack of energy that comes with a bad health.
Eventhough I’ve had to cut back on my commitments and naturally follow a lot of your simplicity tips, still it can be frustrating at times not to have enough energy to live a ‘normal life’. Let alone follow my dreams!
Do you have any specific tips to either become more energetic or tips on how to achieve your goals when you’re low on energy?
P.S. Your blog is motivating and inspiring, thank you!
Diana Says:
March 4th, 2008, 5:38 am
Hi Leo, I know you are an early riser….in order to get up at 4.30am what time do you go to bed? How much sleep do you need, ideally, and is it harder to be up so early in the darker winter months? Thank you!
Pete W Says:
March 4th, 2008, 5:42 am
As a father, I think you raise your kids to be the best of yourself, with some of the rough edges you don’t like in your own personality smoothed over. But, if you weren’t able to raise them yourself (for whatever reason), and instead you could only give them a sheet of A5 paper with your thoughts and advice for their lives on it, what would you write, and why?
jeanette d. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 5:53 am
Hafa, Leo:
Here’s an “ask me anything you want” two-part question: How the heck is the PDN managing without you, and do you miss newspaper’ing…even just a little bit? :0)
BTW, I stumbled upon your site while researching Getting Things Done. You’ve got more hits than 43folders — my other favorite GTD spin-off. Super mauleg!
Esta later and keep on trucking,
a dork former Yo!/Vibe/PDN sports freelancer
Daniel ION Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:03 am
How much time do you spend outside your home office? and do you really need to have your data online (google cal, docs…) if you’re not truly mobile and on the go?
Thanks.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:03 am
51. Terrence asked: “From years of being in the workplace, doing what makes me money rather than what makes me happy, I’ve lost sight of what my true passion(s) is(are). How did you discover your passion is your writing? Did it happen right away or over a long period? Can you recommend exercises for finding one’s passion?”
Well, I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I didn’t always have the courage to pursue it. I would just try out different things until you find what you love. There may already be things you enjoy doing, hobbies and pasttimes, that could be converted into your calling. Whenever you find yourself lost in an activity … ask yourself if it’s possible to make a living doing that!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:07 am
52. Arbatt Nobb asked: “How do you set yourself up to give advice? What I’ve learned is I don’t really know much of anything. I’ve been walking the path for a number of years and I can’t really say I’m in any position to give advice. The older I get the more I see what I don’t know. The longer I follow the Way, the less need I have to explain or set myself up as some type of authority. To help others is necessary. I just don’t understand the need to go public. It’s about giving up needs.”
This brings up some very important points! Thanks, Arbatt, for allowing me to clarify.
I don’t like giving advice, although I realize that’s what people are seeking. I don’t like offering myself as an expert, even if that’s what people think I am.
Instead, I opened this thread in the spirit that I write this blog: to share what I learned, and personal info about me if people are interested.
I can’t claim to have “Walked the Path”, although I congratulate you for your success. Myself … I just try to live a simple, happy life, pursuing my passion and being with the people I love. I’ve learned a few things (though I know I’m extremely ignorant, as we all are) and I thought people might benefit or be interested if I shared them.
That’s all my writing really is. Sharing things I’ve learned, in hopes that people will find use. I can’t prescribe advice for others, or tell people how to live their lives. Sometimes I forget this, and sometimes I think others forget that I’m not trying to do this.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:09 am
53. Dtrizzle asked: “If a previous post about keeping online life simple, you mentioned that you stored all of your documents in google docs and all your email in gmail.
What do you do with important PDF documents such as a tax forms or a formatted resume that you need to access?”
I don’t have a lot of those types of documents, because of the nature of my work … but in most cases those types of documents are emailed to me. I just archive them in gmail and search later. There are cases where I store stuff on my desktop computer, but I rarely access these files. That’s just the nature of my work — I’ve tried to simplify my needs as much as possible, so that formatting isn’t important until I publish. It might not work the same for your life. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:10 am
54. David Safar asked: “What do you live for?”
My wife, my kids, my writing, my other loved ones, running, and reading.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:11 am
55. Warren asked: “How did you quit smoking, or more specifically, how can I help my friend quit smoking?”
First of all, your friend will not quit no matter how much you nag or pressure. You can be concerned, and make suggestions, but ultimately he has to really want it.
Second, read my tips:
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:13 am
56. WordPress Newbie asked: “I’m trying to set up a WordPress.org blog through Yahoo! and it’s driving me crazy. I think I’m going to switch hosting companies to one of the ones recommended by WP. What hosting company do you use?”
Well, I switched from Blogger to Bluehost.com, and it worked very well for me. I recommend it. However, I had to switch to another host when my site started crashing every time I hit the front page of Digg.
Now, I use slicehost.com and haven’t crashed once. Use bluehost if you don’t have super high traffic.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:15 am
57. TesTeq asked: “Is it moral to fight immoral people using their immoral tactic? Is it moral to sacrifice your ideals for tactic purposes? Does the end justify the means?”
Well, I am no expert on morality, and I don’t like to tell others how to live morally. I have to work on my own life before I start to tell others how to live.
However, personally, I would try to take the high road. Turn the other cheek. Don’t stoop to their level. That’s just me, though. :)
Michael Vu Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:18 am
This is a sneaky one…What do you like and dislike about our social sports site, http://www.fantasysportsmatrix.com? =)
You have been a huge inspiration to my life and dreams and would be honored if you did. With the help of Zenhabits, I will continue to claw and grind my way to creating the most vibrant sports community in the world. Congratulations on creating one of the most useful blogs on the planet.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:19 am
58. Leah asked: “What time do you go to bed at night to be able to get up so early and still get enough sleep?”
Well, I should warn you that everyone has different sleep needs. I generally need less than most people, but that doesn’t mean I’m any better. I just have different needs.
I generally need about 6 hours of sleep. If I wake at 4:30a, that means I need to go to be by 10:30p. Sometimes I go to sleep by 11p, which means I will sleep to 5a. Other times I’ll sleep by 930p or 10p, which means I can wake up at 400a. And other times I’ll stay up past midnight, and if I wake at 400a I will either need a nap later in the day or I’ll sleep in the next day to 530a or 600a. Sometimes on weekends I’ll be lazy and sleep to 700a. :)
Oh, recently I’ve been doing long runs of 16miles, 18miles and 20 miles every other week … on those days I’ll wake up at 300a and not get a lot of sleep … I take naps later.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:20 am
59. siong1987 asked: “How do you put Google Adsense in your RSS feed?”
Is it in my feed? I didn’t think it was. If so, I somehow put it there months ago and have forgotten how. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:23 am
60. JEMi asked: “Would you say when you started Zen Habits it contributed to a personal change (since you are focusing on self improvement) and if so, how have you kept up the positive “momentum” so to speak - in your own life as well as whats reflected on the charming ZenHabits :)”
Great question! Definitely, starting this blog has changed my life in so many ways. I thank all of you for that.
One way is that it made me realize that I can do something I love and make a living at it. That’s been tremendous for me. Another is that I’ve found the power of encouragement from all of you, and that feeds me to keep going and to improve.
I’ve used these lessons in many ways since then, fueling my drive to be able to quit my day job, to pursue a book deal, to use my sister as a workout partner where we encourage each other to continue our running and healthy eating and to continually improve.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:25 am
61. David Rojas asked: “When are you going to make a podcast?”
Not anywhere in the near future, and possibly never. I’m a writer, not a broadcaster, and I am not really comfortable in front of a microphone or video camera. Not that I’m hideously ugly or speak with a bad impediment, but I’m just not much of a speaker. I’m a bit shy and soft-spoken. :)
I’ve had many offers to do podcasts, but it’s not one of my priorities right now. Maybe sometime down the road.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:27 am
62. Aurora asked: “How do you recommend staying strong when that little seed of doubt creeps in: the expectations of family and friends, the more-acceptable career choices of society, and the collegiate training you’ve already had down, now you’ve realized, the entirely wrong path? I want to do something artistic but feel like society is set up to pressure me into anything but. America doesn’t seem to honor one’s inner voice. if you have a mantra to stay on track, or something you suggest using as explanation to family when they ask why you “went astray” or try to herd you back, I would love to hear it!”
Gosh, I wish I had a mantra I could share with you. I don’t have one, except to always stay positive! Negative thinking is what holds you back.
My other recommendation, based on what has worked for me, is to find a community of artists or other people who will be positive and encouraging. It can make all the difference in the world. Try somewhere in your community or on an online forum.
Nico Deblauwe Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:31 am
I love reading your blog, yet, I found out that somehow it is procrastination time for me. Which baffles me, as it seems to be a paradox. Or not?
Joshua Says:
March 4th, 2008, 6:47 am
On your road to financial independence, did you ever get discouraged(by yourself or others) and how did you deal with it?
Shamelle Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:08 am
What has been the most helpless moment in your life so far? How did you get through it?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:12 am
63. Rob Lawton asked: “So, for me who’s just getting started reading your blog, and finding usefulness in Zen Habits, what other sites/feeds would you recommend to get me started?”
I highly recommend the other blogs in the LifeRemix.net network. Great blogs. Others I like include Lifehacker.com, Lifehack.org, Webworkerdaily.com, 43folders.com, ProBlogger.net, Scotthyoung.com … man, a whole bunch! :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:15 am
64. Mart asked: “I just feel like I’m in a crappy lazy habit and it’s hard to break out of it. It just feels “default” to sit on my bed and surf aimlessly instead of reading a book for school or going to gym. I *know* it’s bad and I’m just wasting away but I don’t know how to start. Any help would be appreciated.”
I really am not qualified to give advice of this kind, but I can share some tips that have worked for me:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/get-off-your-butt-16-ways-to-get-motivated-when-youre-in-a-slump/
Simon Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:17 am
If you were to learn another language what would it be and why?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:19 am
65. John asked: “So, the question - have you got any tips on managing procrastination? I use a lot of online tools as part of my job, so, unfortunately, a major distractor can be just a single tab away from my work.
Or, should I just be honest with myself and admit that the reason why I procrastinate is that I don’t like what i’m doing?”
First, you might seriously examine whether you don’t like what you’re doing — if that’s the problem, you might consider whether you can do something you enjoy instead.
Second, here are some links where I’ve written about this:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/3-steps-to-kick-the-procrastination-habit.html
http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/05/21/20-procrastination-hacks/
http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/get-off-your-butt-16-ways-to-get-motivated-when-youre-in-a-slump/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:20 am
66. Jennifer asked: “Do you have any specific tips to either become more energetic or tips on how to achieve your goals when you’re low on energy?”
I hate to repeat myself, but this article might help:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/get-off-your-butt-16-ways-to-get-motivated-when-youre-in-a-slump/
Also, try this one by Scott Young:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/04/productivity-boost-increase-and-manage-your-energy/
Eddie Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:22 am
Do you support capitalism or socialism (and why you do it)?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:23 am
67. Pete W asked: “As a father, I think you raise your kids to be the best of yourself, with some of the rough edges you don’t like in your own personality smoothed over. But, if you weren’t able to raise them yourself (for whatever reason), and instead you could only give them a sheet of A5 paper with your thoughts and advice for their lives on it, what would you write, and why?”
That’s not an easy one. Actually, I have a similar post on my list of topics. If you don’t mind, Pete, I’d like to write about it in more depth in a future post, and use your name and question.
Just so I don’t disappoint completely, here’s my most important advice: live simply, and seek happiness in all things. Love deeply and be genuine.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:26 am
68. jeanette d. asked: “Here’s an “ask me anything you want” two-part question: How the heck is the PDN managing without you, and do you miss newspaper’ing…even just a little bit? :0)”
First of all, hafa adai Jeanette! (That’s hello in Chamorro, the native language of Guam, for the rest of you.)
The PDN (Pacific Daily News, my former newspaper) manages just fine without me. I was but a cog in the machine, and as the former publisher was fond of saying, we were ALL replaceable.
I don’t miss the PDN a single bit. I learned a lot while there, but it was a horrible working environment.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:35 am
69. zenden asked: “how much do u earn a month!!! lol”
Enough. :)
Pete W Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:36 am
Not a disappointment at all. I look forward to reading the post!
Stephen Martile Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:37 am
I read No.1 and your answer. Thanks Leo.
My quick question:
What is the No.1 belief that you have to support you as a writer?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:38 am
70. Daniel ION asked: “How much time do you spend outside your home office? and do you really need to have your data online (google cal, docs…) if you’re not truly mobile and on the go?”
At this point, I don’t spend much time outside my home office — not working at least. I do errands, go running, go to soccer practice and games, do things with my family, but not a lot of work outside my home.
The reason I needed my data online, originally, was when I worked at home and at an office, I needed to be able to access all my info from both places (and other places now and then).
However, I’ve recently ordered a laptop because I plan to work 2-3 days outside my home, from other places. The mobility of my data will be important at that time.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:40 am
71. Michael Vu asked: “This is a sneaky one…What do you like and dislike about our social sports site, http://www.fantasysportsmatrix.com? =)”
Sorry, Michael, I don’t do reviews. If I did yours, I’d have to review every request, and I just can’t do that.
However, you might be interested to know that I used to be a fantasy baseball junkie, in the days when I used to crunch our league’s numbers with a calculator. :)
Bill James was my god at that time.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:43 am
72. Nico Deblauwe asked: “I love reading your blog, yet, I found out that somehow it is procrastination time for me. Which baffles me, as it seems to be a paradox. Or not?”
Not a paradox at all! Blog reading is a form of procrastination, and I’ve done it many times. :)
What has worked for me is to designate a certain time of day for reading your blogs, processing emails, and other similar distractions. Then have another time of day as a distraction-free zone, where you’re not allowed to read blogs.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:45 am
73. Joshua asked: “On your road to financial independence, did you ever get discouraged(by yourself or others) and how did you deal with it?”
Definitely, I got discouraged all the time. Still do, for many goals in fact.
Positive thinking, and recognizing the pitfalls of negative thinking, is what really worked for me. I have a post tomorrow on the topic.
Here are some other tips that have worked for me:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/how-to-stick-to-your-goals-when-life-disrupts-em/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:49 am
74. Shamelle asked: “What has been the most helpless moment in your life so far? How did you get through it?”
That’s tough … I think it has been at times when loved ones (or the loved ones of my wife) have died, or have been severely ill. My grandfather, for example, was close to death last year. My friend and boss died last year unexpectedly.
During times like this, there’s really nothing you can do. You are helpless.
What did I do to get through it? I guess the same thing everyone else does. I coped. I grieved, I cried. I learned to accept, and I got on with life. I still worry about my grandpa, and I miss my friend.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:50 am
75. Simon asked: “If you were to learn another language what would it be and why?”
It would be Chamorro, the native language of Guam. I know many words, and can understand it a bit, but I am not even close to speaking it fluently. I wish I could. Someday I hope to learn.
banji - LessonInLife.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:51 am
I’m actually learning a lot from this post alone. It’s as if 100 blog post in one day :)
It’s amazing you’re able to answer each questions. It takes a lot of commitment to do just that. I personally thank you for the effort made
An easy question for you.. (Assuming I still make it in the 100 questions) If you can ask us readers one personal question, what would that question be?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:53 am
76. Eddie asked: “Do you support capitalism or socialism (and why you do it)?”
Well, in actuality, because I run a business (this blog), I am a capitalist.
However, in my heart I am a libertarian socialist. I don’t believe in the socialism of controlling governments, as many coercive government have called themselves socialist and given the word a bad name. I believe in the socialism of freedom, of pure democracy, of anarchy in the true sense of the word (not in the capitalist-corrupted sense of violence and chaos).
I can’t say that I’ve done much to make this a reality. I believe in it, but haven’t lived it. It gets discouraging when you realize that you can’t change the world to fit your ideals, I guess.
Eric Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:54 am
How do set up your own website (.net, etc)? Who do you use? Please be specific in your answer..
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:55 am
77. Stephen Martile asked: “What is the No.1 belief that you have to support you as a writer?”
I’m not really sure what kind of beliefs you mean. As a person, I have all kinds of beliefs, but as a writer … my beliefs are in storytelling, in the beauty of the language, in the miracles of words, in the need to eliminate the unnecessary.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 7:58 am
78. banji asked: “If you can ask us readers one personal question, what would that question be?”
Regarding your comments before the question … I have to admit that this is a lot tougher than I had envisioned when I decided to do 100 questions. :) I will probably only do 50 next time.
As for your question … I only get one question! :) I gave you guys 100!
But I will live with your limit … my question: What is your deepest desire?
With my second question I would ask what I could do to make this site better for you.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:00 am
79. Eric said: “How do set up your own website (.net, etc)? Who do you use? Please be specific in your answer.”
I wish I could give you a tutorial but that’s beyond my scope. I would recommend a domain registration site (you can google that term or use godaddy.com) to get your own domain. I don’t remember who I used.
Beyond the registration, you’ll need to get your own host (earlier I recommended Bluehost.com) and find the software you need (I use WordPress).
The easiest way, though, is through a free blogging site such as Blogger.com, Wordpress.com, Typepad.com, or the like. You won’t get your own domain name, but it’s easy and it’s free.
Martin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:01 am
Do you ever need to tell yourself off for not following your own, good, advice? What’s your punishment?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:02 am
OK, I’m caught up with all the questions so far! It’s 10:01 pm for me, so I’m gonna go to bed and do my last 21 answers in the morning. If you’re not one of the next 21 questions, I apologize, but I only have so much energy! :)
Thanks everybody!
Martin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:10 am
Oh yes, that reminds me…how do you manage to get up so early without waking everyone else up? Don’t worry, you don’t need to answer that. But each morning, it’s my challenge to be as tiptoe quiet as possible (it’s a noisy house). I’ve got my success rate to a good 9 times out of 10. Result!
I still feel guilty about the 1 in 10 though…
zenden Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:11 am
do you get affected by negative comments/emails?
and how do you deal with them?
=)
Andreas Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:14 am
My question is: What do you think about the idea of “ZTD for kids”? Best wishes, Andreas
Nando Pereira Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:15 am
Your site and work here is great. Thanks is what I first would like to say to you.
My question is just a curiosity: Do you get inspiration of your daily work from any Zen scripture or teaching (I mean, do you have any close connections with it?)? Or from any other Buddhist canon or any religion or philosophy source? Do you have any prefered saying or book or inspiration that helps you grow your own discerniment and vision for your life and work in Zen Habits? Do you have links? :)
jeanette d. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:19 am
Thanks for the reply, Leo, and keep on with the awesomeness.
One of the most important life lessons in my journey came courtesy of said ex-publisher during what was supposed to be a routine paycheck pick-up about 10 years ago. Since I was in a hurry and there weren’t any available parking spots — to my knowledge — save for the publisher’s, I decided to do what any dork 17-year-old would have done: take His space.
I was in and out of the newsroom in 2 minutes, tops. But when I got back to my car, whose snazzy vehicle should be there double-parking me than that of The (former) Dude himself. After many, many minutes of wasted youth trying to literally get/back out of Dodge, he finally came out and moved his vehicle.
I sheepishly apologized.
He replied with this greatest of life hacks: “Don’t be sorry, just don’t do it.”
Ah, the good ol’ days.
:-P
Nando Pereira Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:20 am
p.s.: Just saw your post of your “10 biggest influences” (from 20 days ago) and it answers in part. If you can go deeper i the items 8 and 10, or in the areas of religion and philosophy and personal spiritual experience, that would be great. Thanks.
Andy T Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:34 am
How do I control my poor sleeping habits? Whenever I feel sleepy it is as if I lose any control I have over myself and fall asleep at whatever I am doing. This only happens at night but I seem to be unable to escape from this cycle. How do I improve from this bad habit?
Dave Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:36 am
I read a lot of Brian Tracy, and I notice you guys write about a lot of the same stuff. I was just wondering if he’s been an influence at all? Thanks.
Torley Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:39 am
*cheers on*
@Leo: What music do you enjoy for productivity & relaxation purposes?
And you don’t have to answer this since it’s technically another question, but with so many Q’s, I gotta wonder if you’re going to do a FAQ? ;)
Thanx in advance!
Devan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:45 am
Leo - Do you consider yourself to have made a difference in the world so far? Or do you think you still have a way to go?
Looking at the responses on this blog, I think you making a massive difference to lives already, but where do you think you are on your personal mission?
Tam Says:
March 4th, 2008, 8:51 am
How do you make enough money by blogging alone?
John Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:01 am
Just wanted to say thanks for your input - I’ll now dedicate myself to reading the anti-procrastination tips.
Tonight, not whilst I’m working.
And also instead of playing with my PSP. :)
Cheers!
jonathan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:01 am
Do you have any tatoos and if so what and where?
Georgia Draper Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:06 am
Dear Leo,
Do you know how to French braid?
xoxo,
georgia
P.S. Based on your Music to Write With, I have made you a CD and will put it in the post soon. I think you will like it.
P.P.S. Go hug someone! It feels nice. (With all the advice you’re giving us, I am simply returning the favour.)
Anne-Laure Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:11 am
I’m applying for a grant to finance my PhD. I have to write a letter of roughly 500 words explaining why I want to get a PhD and why they should give the money to me. I’m bad both at finding words to describe what I feel (I guess “I just want to” is not a good answer) and finding ways to ‘promote’ myself. What advice can you give me ? What questions could I ask myself to help the writing process ?
chakresh Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:17 am
What is the one thing that you want to change about the world, specially political world (please don’t focus on US only, for whole world)?
Marie Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:21 am
Hi Leo,
This is my first message on your blog, which I read almost every day.
You wrote that one important thing for you is reading. My question is:
Do you read fiction? If so, who are your favorite novel writers? And what are your favorite novels?
carolina Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:22 am
I’ve been with my husband for six years in august, one year married this coming may. We absolutely adore each other, though, sometimes we fight hard and it’s so frustrating. In moments of frustration with your significant other, what is the most important thing that you do to?
Emma Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:29 am
If you only can give one single advise to someone who is completly new to de-cluttering and zen lifestyle - what would it be?
Pete W Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:30 am
Just a quick one… Whilst obviously you can continue to post questions, we’re actually now past the 21 limit that’s left, so Leo may not answer…
april Says:
March 4th, 2008, 9:39 am
If my question makes the list. How do you tame the free bird from the professional?
I have been battling using routines and getting stuff done Professionally (yes work has some to do with it) but i want it to reflex in some of my home life as well. i feel like i’m rebelling against myself.
Thoughts? I call it the lazies lol
Craig Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:01 am
What’s the question that you are most afraid somebody will ask on this forum?
Jeff - Science Says Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:06 am
Hey Leo -
Do you get permission for each of the Flickr photos you post, or just make sure to credit them? Thanks!
Michael Kaply Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:15 am
How do you keep the internet from being the ultimate time waster? I find I spend to much time with mindless surfing when I get bored or don’t want to do what I’m doing.
Nichole Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:16 am
Can you comment on planning a zen wedding? or how to be zen while planning a wedding? I feel like the rest of my life is in order (moving to a new state, changing jobs, starting school, etc) but no matter how hard I try, wedding planning is totally overwhelming & very stressful. Any suggestions for keeping sane & keeping the planning from taking over my brain or morphing into something very un-zen?
Joey Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:24 am
Hello Leo,
I consider myself a minimalist as well. I enjoy things to be simple, clean and organized. I just moved into a new apartment and I need some ideas on interior design. Are there any free guides or samples on the web? Thanks!
Iris M. Gross Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:24 am
If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would this be, but if you’d as soon stay put, why?
I’ll take my answer off-the-air. :-)
Andy Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:27 am
If you could not blog anymore….wha/how would get your messages across? Or put another way, if you did not blog, would still be as focused on self-awarness and improvement?
Trog Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:27 am
What is your current computer screen background?
Ace Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:32 am
What are the best ways to get over an addiction?
dj Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:33 am
I’m glad I made it into the 100 questions! I just came into contact with your blog and it seems very helpful and centering. I’m having a problem though, where I always feel like the victim: I put myself out there, professionally, emtionally, etc, but I keep getting let down. How can someone deal with constant disappointment in their life?
Bruce Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:40 am
Leo,
You once wrote a post describing your daily routine - how has that changed now that you have been able to “quit your day job”?
jamie caligure Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:43 am
leo, i like your musical tastes in response to 30 minutes of songs. (? 10)however, when you write, “the spoons”, are you referring to the late great new wave canadian band; or “spoon” of “ga ga ga ga ga”, “gimme fiction” acclaim? either way, both bands are great.
i have been reading Zen Habits for about three weeks and have been putting some things into practice and have already been happy with results in my life. Zen to Done!
jamie
Vikram Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:49 am
Dear Leo,
I only recently encountered your blog, and then realized that I am really poor in setting and achieving Goals… and tend to overburden myself with lots of wishes as if they are goals.
In your opinion which book will be best to improve and learn regarding Goal Setting/Achieving issue ?
Thanks
alissa Says:
March 4th, 2008, 10:51 am
What is the list of foods you would eat on a normal day?
--Deb Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:01 am
Luddite? Or pro-technology? (You know, what the the added stress and chaos of our crazy modern world, and all!)
Frank Jones Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:01 am
Your posts are very useful for achieving a happier healthier life. I’ve noticed a lot of overlap between your usual categories and issues of sustainability - would you consider including sustainability as a general concern and possibly a declared category of discussion.
The following link points to a list of some sustainability issues. You will probably notice that “simplicity” is one of the subjects listed.
1WineDude Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:03 am
Should I buy this bass guitar?
http://www.musiciansfriend.com/product/MTD-Kingston-KZ-6String-Bass?sku=513945
;-)
Kate Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:08 am
Which is better: time or money?
Kate Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:15 am
If you continue to answer questions, would you please also consider this one.
Is there an alternative for http://www.myticklerfile.com? I loved that site and now it is gone.
thanks - Kate again
applegrass Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:25 am
hi leo.
here are a few kids/family related questions, answer only the ones you like/have time for…
being the father of 6, how do you achieve calm, nonreactive awareness in the day-to-day stresses of living with children (e.g. spats, misbehavior, frequent interruptions)?
you’ve spoken frequently about the importance of making meals at home, both for physical and financial health. do you have any tips on zen-style cooking? this has always seemed like a paradox to me…. zen is art of single-tasking, but the very nature of cooking makes it multi-tasking, especially if you are making many things for a meal that need to be done at the same time… which is why cooking has always been (to some degree) a stress-inducing activity for me.
congrats on a veg. lifestyle for you and your family! respect for all beings is an excellent family value. has the transition been difficult for the rest of your family? how have your children, especially the older ones, adjusted? any tips on teaching children the morals behind vegetarianism, while still respecting those who choose differently?
thanks for your great work.
Neal Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:29 am
I just took a trip to India, and I took nothing but my ipod, some books, and clothes. I found that being deprived of email, cell phones, etc. took away a lot of the daily stress I’ve become accustomed to. However, the second I got back to the states, it all came back again. I check email often and use my phone a lot, etc etc. I was reading on your site and realized that I have trouble getting away from it when it’s so readily available. My question is…what are some good ways to force myself away from these things or slowly transition away from the stress caused by this technology???
Marie Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:36 am
I don’t know if you have already answered 100 questions, but I am going to ask this anyway! If you don’t answer it today, perhaps you will do so one day. Anyway, my husband and I have decided to divorce. I remember reading that you, too, have gone through this. Any words of advice, things you wish you had known and/or done differently? You seem to have the ability to look back on events clearly and objectively.
banji - LessonInLife.com Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:49 am
Now now Leo, you are supposed to have just one question :)
What’s my deepest desire?
I guess my deepest desire is a bit secretive. Nevertheless I will share you my deeper desire, which is to travel the world..
In the spirit of ZenHabits, I will start small by travelling around my country first :)
About your second question, I’m afraid there’s nothing I can add to improve the blog. A very satisfied reader. Nevertheless, I always find the comment section to be equally inspiring with so many tips.
It might be a good thing if you can highlight the additional tips there. One quick suggestion is maybe you can book your first comment, and edit it with additional ideas from readers at the end of the day.
But I truly understand that that is very redundant.. Just a quick suggestion :)
Never the Same River Twice Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:55 am
@Kate - I’m not Leo, but you may want to give Sandy a try. “She” can remember your tasks and send you reminders through email or text message. It’s an incredibly flexible system and it’s free.
If you’d like more details, I wrote a post about how I use the service.
Chris Crifasi Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:56 am
As a father of twin two year old boys, how do I instill in them the reality that they don’t have to settle for a job that “just pays the bills”? As their father I have not been able to do that and therefore don’t know how to model that for them.
Thanks, love your blogs.
Chris
Mulungu Says:
March 4th, 2008, 11:56 am
Hi Leo,
what are your kids and your wife complain about you like to much sports, to much organizing, or some like that. Complain for me means more how do they describe or see you in their own “summarized” words.I am really “not” looking for mistakes.
Thanks a lot for the blog and all that inspiration.
Mulungu
Jon Clement Says:
March 4th, 2008, 12:26 pm
If you only had one day to teach a high school kid their most valuable/empowering life lesson. What would it be?
John Says:
March 4th, 2008, 12:31 pm
hmmm - I think the term ‘extravaganza’ is severely underestimating the volume of comments here!
Thanks for answering my question, Leo - I thought I’d take the time to answer yours, too.
“What’s your deepest desire?”
To bring happiness to everyone around me, be it through efficiency and helpfulness at work, to love and support at home, to always thinking kind thoughts, doing great deeds, and making a difference to anyone I meet.
“What would you suggest to improve the blog?”
As a new reader, I haven’t had the time to dive into the depths of the site, although I’m a huge fan of both e-books (ironically I read them before really reading the site!). I’d suggest, as have others before me, that you perhaps compile a zenhabits FAQ from all the answers you’ve given - perhaps a guide to zenhabits newbies?
Thanks again for your insightful answer.
John
Chris Austria Says:
March 4th, 2008, 12:57 pm
Leo– Am I too late? It seems that you’ve received 100 questions already.
Anyway, this is my question. How long did it take you too be succesful on your blog?
I should do this on my blog when I have a lot of readership. Of course I will give you credit…
Mary Says:
March 4th, 2008, 12:59 pm
Do you think that there’s a certain inherent character trait that succesful people have? In your case, is there some particular quality about pro bloggers before the hard work, passion, and quality writing?
dokidok Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:06 pm
Leo,
when are we going to see you in Oprah’s show? You are so close…………
Michael Droste Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:09 pm
1) do daily promotions bring people to your site
2) how effective is the rss feed (worth it)
3) do you get permission from sites, when posting their copy, or do you just reference the site from which you got the information? legal concern?
IE: how can you use their info to promote your site?
4) what ideas to expand net presence
5) go buy my song: “Save THe Planet”
http://www.SaveThePlanetSong.org :)
6) I bought both pdf books and like then a lot ;)
Alan Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:15 pm
I like to take a ‘zen’ approach to a lot that I do (I’m a concert promoter). Problems, obstacles, etc., I react calmly and as accurately as possible to every situation.
But every once in a while, I’m called on to act with force. Not anger, but I need to speak up and be overwhelmingly heard.
How does one take a ‘zen’ approach to this?
Will is GALVANIZD Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:18 pm
Hi Leo,
I hope I’m not too late. What are the top 3 things that you want to engage in, in order to grow as a person and a father within the next 5 years?
Thanks!
Will
Martin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:21 pm
I’m a 18 years old pupil from Germany. I’m going to write my final examination in May. How can I get more motivated?
reinkefj Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:34 pm
When one’s expectation for oneself doesn’t measure up to objective reality, how do you recommend getting a “do over”, “restart”, or in some other way reach an “acceptance”? It is the “mid life crisis”, “the blues”, “recognition of the end of a road”. It can provide a hump that is hard to transcend. “Snap out of it” only works in hypnosis, chick flicks, or self-help books. :-)
Mike Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:48 pm
What operating system do you use?
I’m a Linux man myself, I like the way I can make everything look just how I want it, oh, and the vast amount of software and amazing stability is good too.
Dale Says:
March 4th, 2008, 13:58 pm
How do you overcome your fears? Fear of acting on a plan? Fear of failure? Fear of what others will think?
Michael Dunlop Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:18 pm
Hey Leo,
Why don’t you take advantage of your readers and monetize the hell out of this website?
Michael
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:21 pm
OK, it’s about 4:20 a.m. and my coffee’s brewing. I don’t have long before I have to go out on my morning run, but I’ll try to get to a few answers and then finish up in a little bit.
Oh, I think you guys are past the 100 question limit. I’d suggest you stop writing new questions as I probably won’t get to them. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:23 pm
80. Martin asked: “Do you ever need to tell yourself off for not following your own, good, advice? What’s your punishment?”
I don’t follow my own advice all the time, I have to admit. I am nowhere near as perfect as people think I am. :)
However, I try to avoid beating myself up. I don’t have punishment. Instead, I try to learn from my mistake and start afresh.
Martin, to be fair, I will only answer your first question!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:27 pm
@zenden … I won’t count this question as I answered one of yours earlier … but you asked “do you get affected by negative comments/emails? and how do you deal with them?”
I definitely get affected by negative comments and emails, more so than I probably should. I take your comments and emails very seriously, and your feedback is important to me. When you encourage me, it lifts me up. When you criticize, it gets me down. However, I try to take them in a spirit of improvement, and in that light, I always try to thank the commenter if possible. See here:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/how-to-accept-criticism-with-grace-and-appreciation/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:28 pm
@Martin: OK, I decided to answer your second question after reading it … this won’t count as one of the 100 answers. You asked, “how do you manage to get up so early without waking everyone else up?”
I have an alarm, but it never seems to wake anyone else up. They’re all pretty heavy sleepers who don’t get up for a couple hours after I wake. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:30 pm
81. Andreas asked “What do you think about the idea of “ZTD for kids”?”
It’s an interesting thought … I like the idea of forming good work habits in kids. However, I would advise against trying to get kids to be “productive” at an early age. There’s too much pressure on them already! Let them be kids.
I do like the idea of teaching them to simplify. It would be a valuable lesson for later in life.
purple Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:33 pm
How do you know when you’re ready for marriage? How do you know it’s the right person? I know, tough, crazy question!
I am graduating from college this term and I have been on this “self-discovery” journey for some time, enjoying it very much, but I don’t want to miss out on the good marriage opportunities just because I am discovering myself. I’m also afraid! What’s your advice?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:33 pm
82. Nando Pereira asked, “Do you get inspiration of your daily work from any Zen scripture or teaching (I mean, do you have any close connections with it?)? Or from any other Buddhist canon or any religion or philosophy source? Do you have any prefered saying or book or inspiration that helps you grow your own discerniment and vision for your life and work in Zen Habits? Do you have links? :)”
Very good question. I do get inspiration from Zen teaching, or at least my interpretation of it. The ideas of Zen inform my writings on simplicity, on doing things slowly and one thing at a time, on learning to focus on the moment, on breathing and meditation. I haven’t done a tremendous amount of reading, but I recommend “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” by Shunryu Suzuki.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:36 pm
@Andy T, who asked: “How do I control my poor sleeping habits? Whenever I feel sleepy it is as if I lose any control I have over myself and fall asleep at whatever I am doing. This only happens at night but I seem to be unable to escape from this cycle. How do I improve from this bad habit?”
I’m not going to count this question either, as I honestly don’t have a good answer. I have had insomnia problems, but beyond that I am not qualified to answer questions about sleep problems. You can read about how I beat insomnia here:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/05/early-riser-three-quick-ways-to-help-cure-insomnia/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:38 pm
83. Dave asked: “I read a lot of Brian Tracy, and I notice you guys write about a lot of the same stuff. I was just wondering if he’s been an influence at all? Thanks.”
Actually, though I’ve heard good things about Brian Tracy, I haven’t actually read his books yet. I’ve been meaning to order one of them for some time. Which would you recommend as a starting point?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:39 pm
OK, guys, gotta get ready for my morning run! Will be back in a bit.
Dave J. Says:
March 4th, 2008, 14:55 pm
Let’s see if you will stick to your promise of answering all of the first 100 questions posed - here’s mine - how much did you earn from Zenhabits.net in 2007 and how much do you expect to earn from it in 2008!
djuro Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:23 pm
What would you do if you were your most productive in the evening, and you really really wanted to be that in the morning, or simply during the day? This habit of working at my full creativity/capacity only after 18:00 costs me some of my favorite evening activities. I’m not even sure anymore that it’s a habit. I’ve tried to change it, but my muses seem to refuse to visit me while the sun is shining and the birds are singing. Thank you Leo.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:27 pm
@Torley, who asked: “What music do you enjoy for productivity & relaxation purposes?”
I won’t count this question, because I’m just going to refer you to one of my earlier answers — see #10 above, in response to Ryan McRae.
Blue Coffee Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:27 pm
Hi Leo,
Thanks for the opportunity to ask you a question.
Here’s I-me-mine:
How important is the notion of ‘the beginner’s mind’ in your life and work?
Kind regards.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:31 pm
84. Devan asked: “Do you consider yourself to have made a difference in the world so far? Or do you think you still have a way to go?”
Phew. I’m not sure how to answer this. There are many things I’d like to help with in the world, big and small. Helping to eradicate Third World poverty and hunger, for example. I think it’s possible to make a difference with that, as it’s something that can be easily changed by First World countries — and our countries are theoretically democratic, so if we as the citizens of (say) the US wanted to make a change, our leaders would have to listen to us. The goal then is to convince enough First World citizens to make a change, which is doable. However, I haven’t made much of an impact on this problem yet.
That said, I know I have made a difference in smaller ways. I’ve made a difference to my children, for example, and I hope to continue to do so. I’ve made a difference in at least a few other lives I’ve touched, just as they’ve made a difference with mine. More than a few readers have told me I’ve made a difference in their lives, and that is especially moving for me.
But do I have a way to go? Unquestionably!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:33 pm
85. Tam asked: “How do you make enough money by blogging alone?”
Well, it didn’t happen overnight. My first concern was to build up the readership through the strongest content I could produce. I’m still working on that, but I’ve succeeded to a degree that the various ad systems I use (including selling my own ads) pay my bills. Donations and ebook sales also help tremendously.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:35 pm
86. jonathan asked: “Do you have any tatoos and if so what and where?”
Lol. One tatoo, upper left arm (on the shoulder part of the arm). It’s a yin-yang symbol (I know, Taoist, not Zen), with the Japanese symbols for “love” and “hate” on the black and white parts of the symbol.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:35 pm
87. Rob asked: “How old were you when you first skinny-dipped?”
I can’t remember! I think I was about 8 or 9 months old. My parents used to let me go in my grandparent’s swimming pool, well before my first birthday, and I would swim like a tadpole. They would have to lift my head out of the water so I could breathe, but they said I was an amazing swimmer and I loved it. Then I’d come out of the water with a belly full of water.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:37 pm
88. Georgia Draper asked: “Do you know how to French braid?”
Lol. No. I know the basic braid, but I have to confess that I’m not good at fixing my daughters’ hair. It always comes out crooked, so I let my wife handle that department.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:38 pm
89. Anne-Laure asked: “I’m applying for a grant to finance my PhD. I have to write a letter of roughly 500 words explaining why I want to get a PhD and why they should give the money to me. I’m bad both at finding words to describe what I feel (I guess “I just want to” is not a good answer) and finding ways to ‘promote’ myself. What advice can you give me ? What questions could I ask myself to help the writing process ?”
Wow, tough question. First, I should say that I hate promoting myself as well, but I’ve found it to be almost a necessary evil. You have to do it, in most professions, because if you don’t toot your own horn no one else will do it for you. So you have to do a kind of sales pitch for yourself — why are you the right person for the job? Be strong and sell it!
As for questions to help with the writing process … first ask yourself, “What is the essential message I want to drive home here?” Of course, the message is that you’re the right person for the position, but the real message is why? What qualifies you? What makes you the ideal candidate? Figure this out, and you have your message. Then drive it home throughout the essay.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:39 pm
90. chakresh asked: “What is the one thing that you want to change about the world, specially political world (please don’t focus on US only, for whole world)?”
One thing only? :)
I mentioned it in one of my answers just above: I would like to eradicate Third World hunger and poverty. It kills millions of people each day, and it’s totally unnecessary, as we in the First World can quickly change this situation. See whiteband.org for more info.
If I had a second answer, it would be to liberate Guam from being a colony. We live in comfort here on Guam, so many people ignore the fact that we have no true political freedom. I’d like to help change that someday.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:41 pm
91. Marie asked: “Do you read fiction? If so, who are your favorite novel writers? And what are your favorite novels?
I read fiction all the time! Way more than non-fiction, actually. I recently wrote about my favorite authors and novels (link to come next). Right now, I’m reading “As she climbed across the table” by Jonathan Lethem. I just finished “Equal Rites” by Terry Pratchett, “Taft” by Ann Patchett, and “The Appeal” by John Grisham. More here:
http://zenhabits.net/2008/01/7-current-writers-im-in-love-with/
The Kid Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:44 pm
How would suggest getting over a deep infatuation?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:45 pm
92. carolina asked: “I’ve been with my husband for six years in august, one year married this coming may. We absolutely adore each other, though, sometimes we fight hard and it’s so frustrating. In moments of frustration with your significant other, what is the most important thing that you do to?”
Congrats on six years of a loving marriage! That’s a true gift. Arguments in a marriage, of course, are part of the territory. You just have to accept that and see it as a learning and growing process.
What I do that helps me is first, breathe and tell myself to calm down. Once I find detachment, I try to reflect on the problem, and how I can communicate with my wife without turning it into a huge drama, and I try to focus on the solution, not blame.
The most important thing, though, is to remember that you cannot control your spouse, that he is a separate human being, and that he is perfect as he is. Yes, perfect — there can be no better version of him than the one that exists. Accept him for all his gifts and his faults. Try to appreciate the good things and love the faults as well.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:46 pm
93. Emma asked: “If you only can give one single advise to someone who is completly new to de-cluttering and zen lifestyle - what would it be?”
Start small. You don’t need to conquer the world in one day. Start with one little corner of a room, or one shelf in a closet, and declutter it. Then work from there. Or start with one easy habit change, and expand from there. Focus on one thing at a time, and it will be much more manageable.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:47 pm
94. april asked: “How do you tame the free bird from the professional?
I have been battling using routines and getting stuff done Professionally (yes work has some to do with it) but i want it to reflex in some of my home life as well. i feel like i’m rebelling against myself.
Thoughts? I call it the lazies lol”
Let yourself be lazy! The art of doing nothing, especially if you’ve already done some good work for the day, is a beautiful thing:
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:53 pm
95. Craig asked: “What’s the question that you are most afraid somebody will ask on this forum?”
Honestly, I can’t think of anything I’m afraid people might ask. If it’s something I don’t want to share, I’ll say so … but for the most part I try to be open and honest here.
Jessica Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:55 pm
When you were doing very early rising, did you get less sleep? How did you cope with it? And when your babies were infants and waking multiple times a night, could you have done the 4 am rising time then?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:57 pm
96. Jeff - Science asked: “Do you get permission for each of the Flickr photos you post, or just make sure to credit them? Thanks!”
I just try to credit them. There have been a couple of instances where the photo wasn’t licensed through Creative Commons, so I contacted the photographers to get permission. However, it would be way too time consuming for me to do this on a daily basis.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 15:59 pm
97. Michael Kaply asked: “How do you keep the internet from being the ultimate time waster? I find I spend to much time with mindless surfing when I get bored or don’t want to do what I’m doing.”
Excellent question, but I have to be honest and say that I haven’t mastered this yet. :)
I still waste time on the Internet, though not as much as before. I think it’s been a gradual improvement for me, trying different things out. I try to have “distraction-free zones” where I don’t connect to the Internet and just focus on my writing. Here’s an article that might help:
http://freelanceswitch.com/productivity/10-ways-to-eliminate-distractions/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:02 pm
98. Nichole asked: “Can you comment on planning a zen wedding? or how to be zen while planning a wedding? I feel like the rest of my life is in order (moving to a new state, changing jobs, starting school, etc) but no matter how hard I try, wedding planning is totally overwhelming & very stressful. Any suggestions for keeping sane & keeping the planning from taking over my brain or morphing into something very un-zen?”
Very tough one. I’m planning my wedding now (we’re married civilly but are getting married in church this June). Main thing is to keep it as simple as possible. Don’t get too complicated. Forget about what others might think, and worry only about what you want. Also, learn to delegate. You don’t have to do everything yourself. Ask your fiancee to help with the planning and errands and calls. Ask your mom or siblings or best friend to help. In my experience, they’ll be more than willing.
Franchesco Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:02 pm
Hello Leo,
Well, my question is simple, who knows you might answer it. Do you believe in long distance relationships? What about age differences between the couple? Should it be something that I might avoid or it has nothing to do if the two people understand one-another?
Best Regards.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:06 pm
99. Joey asked: “I consider myself a minimalist as well. I enjoy things to be simple, clean and organized. I just moved into a new apartment and I need some ideas on interior design. Are there any free guides or samples on the web? Thanks!”
Hmmm. I don’t know of any besides my own:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/a-guide-to-creating-a-minimalist-home/
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:07 pm
100. Iris M. Gross asked: “If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would this be, but if you’d as soon stay put, why?”
I love Guam, and love where I am simply because of the loved ones who live around me. However, I’m considering moving to the SF Bay Area (a place I absolutely love — I lived there for several years as a teen). There are many other places I’d love to live, from Oregon to Seattle to NY to London to France to Italy to South America to Japan.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:08 pm
101. Andy asked: “If you could not blog anymore….wha/how would get your messages across? Or put another way, if you did not blog, would still be as focused on self-awarness and improvement?”
I’m not sure I’d be able to find a way to get my message across without a blog. It would be tough. However, I was focused on self-awareness and improvement for at least a couple years before I started blogging, so yes, I believe I would have continued that without the blog. The blog has been a tremendous help in that area, of course.
blogrdoc Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:12 pm
Hi Leo,
Are you a zen bhuddist?
Sorry if this is answered elsewhere.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:13 pm
If you’ve noticed, I’m going to answer a few beyond the 100 question limit, but I plan to stop soon. Sorry to the others whose questions I don’t answer!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:14 pm
102. Trog asked: “What is your current computer screen background?”
Michelangelo’s Pieta at the moment.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:16 pm
103. Ace asked: “What are the best ways to get over an addiction?”
Gosh, I am not experienced enough to answer that. The only real addiction I’ve conquered is smoking. I beat caffeine for a month or two, using the same principles, but then decided that I loved coffee too much and that the benefits of being caffeine free weren’t worth it for me.
Here’s my article on quitting smoking:
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:17 pm
104. dj asked: “I’m having a problem though, where I always feel like the victim: I put myself out there, professionally, emtionally, etc, but I keep getting let down. How can someone deal with constant disappointment in their life?”
Hmmm. I feel underqualified to talk about this one as well. For myself, I’ve tried to focus on the positive, and to squash negative thoughts when I have them. Instead, I try to give myself little victories, one small one at a time, and use that to feed my success. You also might lower your expectations, which might be the reason for your disappointments … instead, focus on something small, and don’t expect the world. Just try to make that small change and if you’re victorious, then celebrate!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:18 pm
105. Bruce asked: “You once wrote a post describing your daily routine - how has that changed now that you have been able to “quit your day job”?”
Well, I drive to work less. :)
Seriously, my morning routine is mostly the same, though I change it as I try new things. So I still wake early, have coffee, read, exercise, eat breakfast, and shower. Then write.
I feel it’s important to get ready for work, even if you’re working at home.
My workday is different — more relaxed I think. I try to write first thing, then clear out my email, publish a post, then write some more. I take breaks, and now that my wife is staying home we often watch a DVD or take a nap or do less publishable things. ;)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:19 pm
106. jamie caligure asked: “leo, i like your musical tastes in response to 30 minutes of songs. (? 10)however, when you write, “the spoons”, are you referring to the late great new wave canadian band; or “spoon” of “ga ga ga ga ga”, “gimme fiction” acclaim? either way, both bands are great.”
Ah, I made a mistake. It should have been “Spoon” of “ga ga ga ga ga” fame. I’m not much of a music expert, so sorry for the confusion!
Nikolai Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:19 pm
Hey Leo! I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a long time, thanks for the opportunity!
I have a big problem with being constant. I am fairly persistent when it comes to things I love, but I fall short with the rest of my activities. For example, I have tried getting into meditation, and sometimes I can go at it for a week without faltering, but then I lose my resolution, and just seem to give it up, only to try again a few weeks later.
Any advice you could offer me? I would be extremely grateful!
From Russia with love,
Nikolai
melvin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:20 pm
Top or Bottom?
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:21 pm
107. Vikram asked: “In your opinion which book will be best to improve and learn regarding Goal Setting/Achieving issue ?”
One book? I would guess Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (see my recent interview with him). It’s hard to choose just one book.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:23 pm
108. alissa asked: “What is the list of foods you would eat on a normal day?”
Lol. I wouldn’t follow my example, as I’m not perfect. However, if you’re just curious …
For breakfast, I usually eat peanut butter on whole wheat toast, and/or Kashi GoLean Crunch cereal with soymilk and fresh strawberries.
For lunch, I’ll have leftovers from dinner or a sandwich (maybe vegan chickn on whole wheat bread with veganaise, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, sprouts, perhaps avocadoes), or if I don’t have much time I’ll heat up an Amy’s lunch such as palak paneer or tofu scramble.
For dinner, I might have a hearty soup or vegetarian chili (see my recipes on this site), or homemade burritos, Amy’s pizza, tofu stir-fry, spaghetti or other homemade pasta, or sometimes just cereal or salad if I feel like going light.
For snacks, I’ll have oatmeal with berries and almonds and flaxseed, or soy yogurt with berries and almonds, or low-fat pretzels, or peanuts, or raisins. I eat a LOT of fruit. Veggies too.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:23 pm
109. Deb asked: “Luddite? Or pro-technology? (You know, what the the added stress and chaos of our crazy modern world, and all!)”
Mostly pro-technology. I do all my work through technology, and this blog wouldn’t be possible without it.
However … there is a lot to be said for disconnectiveness, at least part of the day. I tend to think we need to control technology to use it to fit our needs, not let it run rampant over our lives. See my recent article for more:
TesTeq Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:27 pm
Leo, thank you for your great answer.
All the best from Poland.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:27 pm
110. 1WineDude asked: “Should I buy this bass guitar?”
http://www.musiciansfriend.com/product/MTD-Kingston-KZ-6String-Bass?sku=513945
Lol. I don’t know anything about guitars. I suggest a Rock Band bass guitar controller!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:29 pm
111. Kate asked: “Which is better: time or money?”
Undoubtedly time. It’s so limited! I’d rather spend time with my kids than give them money.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:29 pm
112. Kate asked: “Is there an alternative for http://www.myticklerfile.com? I loved that site and now it is gone.”
I never used it, so I can’t say. However, if you’re looking for a way to do ticklers, I simply use Google Calendar.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:29 pm
113. applegrass asked: “being the father of 6, how do you achieve calm, nonreactive awareness in the day-to-day stresses of living with children (e.g. spats, misbehavior, frequent interruptions)?
you’ve spoken frequently about the importance of making meals at home, both for physical and financial health. do you have any tips on zen-style cooking? this has always seemed like a paradox to me…. zen is art of single-tasking, but the very nature of cooking makes it multi-tasking, especially if you are making many things for a meal that need to be done at the same time… which is why cooking has always been (to some degree) a stress-inducing activity for me.
congrats on a veg. lifestyle for you and your family! respect for all beings is an excellent family value. has the transition been difficult for the rest of your family? how have your children, especially the older ones, adjusted? any tips on teaching children the morals behind vegetarianism, while still respecting those who choose differently?”
Boy, that’s a lot of questions. I’m going to answer just briefly:
1. I haven’t mastered being calm with my children. I’m currently working on this. :)
2. Cooking can be very multitasking … however, you can focus mostly on one thing at a time if you want. For example, I like to chop all my veggies and open any cans or packages, one at a time, before starting the actual cooking.
3. The rest of my family isn’t vegetarian, although my wife has transitioned to eating only fish and mostly vegetarian. My kids enjoy many of my vegetarian dishes but still eat meat. I don’t plan on forcing them to become vegetarian.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:30 pm
114. Neal asked: “I just took a trip to India, and I took nothing but my ipod, some books, and clothes. I found that being deprived of email, cell phones, etc. took away a lot of the daily stress I’ve become accustomed to. However, the second I got back to the states, it all came back again. I check email often and use my phone a lot, etc etc. I was reading on your site and realized that I have trouble getting away from it when it’s so readily available. My question is…what are some good ways to force myself away from these things or slowly transition away from the stress caused by this technology???”
Take a tech-free vacation at home! See if you can go without it for a couple days. If so, during that vacation, plan your ideal use of technology. For example, only during the afternoons, or only check email at 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., or whatever works for you.
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:31 pm
115. Marie asked: “Anyway, my husband and I have decided to divorce. I remember reading that you, too, have gone through this. Any words of advice, things you wish you had known and/or done differently? You seem to have the ability to look back on events clearly and objectively.”
First, I’m sorry for this difficult time you’re going through! I know, from my experience, that divorce is an extremely trying time for anyone. It is probably a positive direction you’re taking, so try to see it that way.
Second, I don’t regret my divorce. It was a positive change for me, although I have nothing against my ex-wife and think she’s a very good person and a great mom. I might not have handled my divorce perfectly, but I think I did a pretty good job overall.
What worked for me:
* Try to remain calm and avoid emotional confrontations. If things got heated for me, I would back away and wait until I’d calmed down to talk. Heated arguments are not healthy in a divorce.
* Remain civil. My ex and I were able to talk about things civilly, and not get into huge disputes. As a result, I filed for the divorce myself, without a lawyer, and we were able to come to an agreement amicably.
* If you have kids, as I do/did, keep their interests foremost. People often fight over petty things, including issues with the kids, and the kids end up suffering as a result. Do what’s best for them, not what feels good at the moment for you.
* Use this time to focus on positive changes for yourself. I started exercising, and this helped tremendously. I read a lot, and made new friends. The friends helped so much!
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:33 pm
OK, guys, I have to confess that I’m tired now! :)
I’ve put several hours into this (including yesterday and this morning, probably four hours) and I’ve answered more questions than I planned on doing, so I think I’m going to call it quits.
I wish I could have gotten to all of your answers! I apologize for those I missed.
Thanks so much for the great questions! I hope this was at least interesting and at most enjoyable. :)
Leo Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:36 pm
I just tried to close the comments and it messed up the entire layout of the page! So I’m going to leave them open, but please be aware that I won’t answer any more questions! :)
Also, looking back over my answers, it’s funny to see so many of my pictures all in a row. It’s like a bunch of Leo-heads! :)
Peace!
Jeff - Science Says Says:
March 4th, 2008, 16:46 pm
Thanks Leo - HUGE effort, but as a fairly-new blogger, it answered a lot of things I hadn’t even thought of - cheers!
Pete W Says:
March 4th, 2008, 17:05 pm
I think what Jeff said goes for everyone. You have my admiration and respect as always Maestro.
Michael Says:
March 4th, 2008, 18:06 pm
thanks for the opportunity to pose my quandry.
has to do more so with career guidance i suppose.
i work as a creative director, or more so a director of creative services at a smallish ad agency.
i’ve worked here since spring of ‘03. i am paid salary, bennies, and a monthly bonus based on our sales. i receive 3/4 % of the month’s sales as the bonus.
and to end this preface, i’ve not received a “raise” since i started, with the president’s line being– you’re raise is your bonus amount increasing based on how well we do.
my question: i think i deserve a raise. i believe this to be true due to our continued success, and constant growth. this is due to all of our hard work of course, and not so impartially due to several items in my skillset that did not exist when i was hired, not to mention my ongoing quest for additional profit streams i’ve suggested and acheived based on implementation of services offered to our clients based on those aforementioned skillset additions.
have you insight to offer obie-wan?
:)
Martin Says:
March 4th, 2008, 18:34 pm
You’re such a good sport for answering so many questions. Thanks for being hero as usual.
Mike OD - IF Life Says:
March 4th, 2008, 18:38 pm
Late to the party. Sigghhhhh….always a bridesmaid and never a bride….wait.
Great idea on the questions! Now to go brew some coffee so I can read them all!
Anon Says:
March 4th, 2008, 21:00 pm
What I get most out of your answers is to start small and progressively move up.
Great advice!
Laura Says:
March 4th, 2008, 21:26 pm
Message to Bri, undecided college sophomore:
I think Leo’s advice was great, but I had to add this:
Read a book by Barbara Sher called Refuse to Choose. Your story sounds similar to mine in that I stressed out considerably (including more than one major melt-down) over the decision of what to do (with college, my life, etc). This book really helped. Basically, the message is that some people are wired NOT to focus or specialize and you can nurture that and still be successful.
Iris M. Gross Says:
March 4th, 2008, 22:52 pm
Wow! I was #100! Thank you, Leo! You’ve got a good and kind heart, though, so don’t let these people run you into the ground. They know they should have stopped asking you questions a long time ago! Thank you for answering mine.
Peace!
Dave Says:
March 4th, 2008, 23:03 pm
Leo, as a starting point for Brian Tracy, I recommend you read “Million Dollar Habits.” Thanks for your answer. :)
michael Says:
March 5th, 2008, 8:36 am
Sorry I didn’t see this thread earlier……my broadband has been down.
Well done on taking the challenge and being open. As you mentioned several times, all you are doing is sharing your views……..there’s no real right nor wrong.
I like your opinion on dealing with nasty people……don’t stoop to their level and always be true to your principles……many people don’t have princilples and they lead aimless lives.
I like you simple view of spending most time with those who are dear to you…..kids grow up so fast but they give us so much and we should be thankful of the gift of thier lives.
Thanks.
Lawrence Lawson Says:
March 5th, 2008, 10:59 am
I am insanely jealous of my wifes past relationships
how do i et over it
its ruining our marriage
rationally , i know its dumb
but the thoughts persist
blogrdoc Says:
March 5th, 2008, 21:10 pm
@Lawrence:
Some peoples jealousy in this situation is actually rooted in their view of themself and their doubts that they could make their partner happy. Some people get over it by deciding that they themself are “good enough” and deserve happiness.
Objectively viewing the situation that their partner has ultimately decided to be with them (as opposed to others) may help to put things in perspective.
Just my 2cents
Keehun Nam Says:
March 5th, 2008, 21:58 pm
For some reason, its really fun reading these questions and answers.
blogrdoc Says:
March 6th, 2008, 0:36 am
@Lawrence:
Dr. Laura (not me) would say:
Stop feeling sorry for yourself!
(I don’t necessarily condone Dr. Laura’s tactics, but they can be useful for “snapping” people out of a rut they get stuck in.
Curious Philosopher Says:
March 11th, 2008, 14:11 pm
What came first? The chicken or the egg? You said to ask anything we want, so there you have it. BTW, What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.
hattie Says:
March 18th, 2008, 13:31 pm
is there a connection between ‘being cold’ and ‘catching a cold’???????
thanks
GeographyGuy Says:
March 26th, 2008, 13:04 pm
Hey Leo,
In regard to answer # 76, technically you aren’t a capitalist unless you are deciding how the surplus of someone else’s economic endeavors are distributed. If you are the only employee of your blogging business, you are a socialist worker-owned collective. Congratulations!
Please keep doing what you do. I have been a fan since last spring and consider your blog to be the most valuable resource on the web. Thanks!
monika Says:
April 13th, 2008, 20:38 pm
am i gonna go to america
Keeta Chic Says:
May 6th, 2008, 15:46 pm
Answer question: What is the comand of her highness, Queen Quiet? Answer this question or be destroyed!
melek Says:
May 25th, 2008, 8:04 am
peter çok iyi birisine benziyorsun bana söyle fikri kimi seviyo msn me gönder yalvarıyom lütfen
Jorja Says:
November 3rd, 2008, 14:56 pm
why is milk of magnesia kept in a blue bottle
Jamie Says:
November 26th, 2008, 16:38 pm
In the 1988 Euro Qualifier between Scotland and Bulgaria in Sofia, on 11-11-87 Scotland won 1-0. Gary Mackay scored. What time did it kick off??
Virgo Says:
December 27th, 2008, 11:55 am
Use Each Of The Numbers One To Nine Exactly Once To Fill In The Blanks And Complete The Equation.
? ? ? ? ?
- ? ? ? ?
——————
__________
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
annie Says:
February 4th, 2009, 15:03 pm
why is chocolate never next to strawberry in neapolitan ice cream????
Brandon Says:
February 10th, 2009, 11:36 am
I hope this one isn’t to big to answer. Here’s what I want to do.
I want to: climb mountains, travel, experience truly spiritual experiences, get out of this town and just explorer the world, join a rec. hockey league, be as fit as I can be, and just live life to its fullest.
Now a little background on me, I’m 24 year old guy, single, never been to college but I feel very successful, I have some debt that I’m trying to pay off (about $5,000 or less), my car will be paid off in less than a year, no kids, I have a job but not tied to it, and I’ve got a desire for adventure. Oh & I live in Omaha, NE of all places, which actually isn’t too bad considering it is one of the better places to live with the economy going down the tubes.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Leo!
Reagan Says:
March 21st, 2009, 14:19 pm
1.what are some quiz sites for 10 year olds?
2.list of things for 10 year olds 2 do inside when they’re bored?
3.jobs for 9 year olds?
Ciara Says:
March 30th, 2009, 20:54 pm
What Should i Do. im Sixteen, But i Feel That im Ready For A Babyy?
leon Says:
May 19th, 2009, 9:26 am
is mrs hale gay
Future husband Says:
May 22nd, 2009, 14:45 pm
As u know that i’m will be husband to my lovely women, but i afraid the first night we spent together..I mean by, sex..As man, I don’t having problem with these but what about women?? are they will feel same as I fell?? from my observe that women don’t have must interest on sex than man..so, how will the night we spent together?? will she accept my request or she refuse??
dan Says:
May 27th, 2009, 16:41 pm
if you like some one and thay say taht thay think thay like you and you like them alot would you go for it and ask them out out straight away be for some one else gets here first or wait for a better relasoinship incase thay dont speek 2 you again
milsy Says:
June 25th, 2009, 7:13 am
i need help i cant get to sleep and it is reilly buging me
and i am makeing ask me web site and i need some idvice
xxx:)
Incoming (8)
- :// dharmalog » Dharmalog no Zen Habits - 100 Questions Extravaganza (respondido)
- Great idea for a blog post - Check out Leo’s 100 question Extravaganza at Zenhabits | Zensible
- 6 Ways That Bloggers are Like Rappers | Copyblogger
- 6 Ways Bloggers Are Like Rappers « HNL Hip Hop
- BBBLLLOOOGGGGGIIIINNNN’ | The Kaos Effect
- Freestyle Blogging #1 | MakingTheMogul.com
- ask me anything
- Life Clerks » The Beginner’s Guide to Zen Habits - A Guided Tour
