Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons Questions and Answers on Compassion with the Dalai Lama
Editor’s note: The following is a report on a recent talk by the Dalai Lama from reader Noah Weil, who generously decided to take notes and type them up to share with me and with all of you. Thank you, Noah, for sharing this with us. I thought all of you would enjoy it as the Dalai Lama expresses some interesting observations that relate to things we’ve discussed here on Zen Habits … especially interesting to me were the questions and answers at the end.
On April 13, 2008 the University of Washington in Seattle conveyed to His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, an honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters. Although the capacity of the arena was over 65,000, tickets were offered to all the colleges in the state and went extremely quickly. As a Seattle University College of Law student, I jumped in the queue as quickly as possible, and was lucky to get a ticket. I almost didn’t go actually; the event conflicted with two of my classes, and at the end of the term, those can be important. Nonetheless, friends told me to attend, succinctly asking “How often do you have a chance to hear the Dalai Lama?” Looking back, I’m certainly glad I attended.
I took these notes for a few reasons. My girlfriend wasn’t able to make the event, and so I wanted to share with her the ideas offered. But there was also Leo at Zen Habits. I’m a great fan of his journal, and wanted to be able to give something back for all his hard work. Hopefully the readers will be able to use some portion of the ideas presented here. I’ll admit right now I was quite taken with the Dalai Lama himself and his message, and plan on further exploring these concepts.
After some introductions by the presidents and regents of various universities, Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama entered to heavy and sustained applause. Before speaking, he clasped his hands together and bowed to the honoraries behind him and to the audience surrounding the stage. After the presentation of his honorary doctorate, the Dalai Lama began his speech in Chinese, which was surprising since I always thought he spoke strong English. His interpreter translated his initial portion, which were expressions of gratitude to all the students and university folk who had come out, as well as his thanks for such a prestigious award. His English did turn out to be excellent, which led me to believe he only began in Chinese because his thankfulness was the most important part of his speech, and hence the most important to convey correctly.
When he began speaking in earnest, I was struck by a number of things. As mentioned, his English is quite strong(although not perfect, below). He’s got a great speaking voice, which is to be expected considering his position. But what I most appreciated listening to him was his sense of humor. He conveyed great wit up there, and was almost always smiling. As he accepted his honorary doctorate, he said he felt humbled being in front of so many learned people, and praised education in general. “But if you do seek a degree, being presented an honorary one is certainly how I recommend it”.
After the initial thanks and well-wishes were dispensed, his Holiness began by reflecting on the previous century. He spoke of the technological and social advancements, but also of the preeminence of war across the globe. He reminded everyone that the people who bring war always have high hopes in creating a better future, but their violence only creates violence. He spoke on the new generation, the students in front of him for example, bringing an end to global violence. Violence and war are our creations, he noted, and thus under our control to solve. Live happily, and understand conflict can be defeated without violence. One must exercise real power in future conflicts, which is based on dialogue and respect. Then, he stated, can the cycle of violence be broken.
The Dalai Lama’s speech in general wove around three points, the external world like the message above, the internal spirit, and the interdependency of all people. On that interdependency, he spoke on all people being connected, and their flourishing allowing us all to prosper. Helping one person helps yourself, helping one country helps yours, helping one continent helps your own, etc. By the same token, the destruction of your enemy is the destruction of yourself; your enemy is a part of yourself. Thus, war is outdated as it can only lead to mutual destruction.
I felt the Dalai Lama’s most salient and applicable points were those that related to one’s inner self. First was a determined, focused effort to refrain from negative emotions: hate, anger, and fear. The goal is to instinctively refrain from harm and keeping a sedate heart. While a person may say they are for peace, if they have inner turmoil and negative emotions, they only pay lip service to the aims of peace.
True global peace begins with inner peace, and inner peace comes from a deep respect for all sentient beings, along with knowledge the future rests with them. Excise negative emotions, and along the way, learn to dismiss negative emotions as they arise, so they do not disturb your inner strength.
The Dalai Lama also spoke on the attachment that arises from negative emotions. When we are young, (I don’t know if he was referring to physically young or technologically young), we use fear and anger to survive. But now that we have grown up, the negativity swamps our intelligence, our respect, and our happiness. Negativity also destroys our sleep and our appetite. In this way negative emotions hurt us physically as well as mentally. It was noted that confrontation was inevitable, but confrontation and life can exist without anger and hatred. One should confront, deal, and live always with a smile.
The Dalai Lama expressed deep respect for education, but noted that the process must include a moral education as well. He noted that ethics and morality can come from religion or secular sources; ethics are a universal truth. Once we have learned ethics and respect, and have truly embraced internal disarmament, external disarmament would come.
The Dalai Lama took some questions from the audience at this point:
Q: What is the simplest, most effective act of compassion?
A: Paying more attention to your inner world. The tenets of Buddhism allow those to examine our inner realm. One must be compassionate to one’s self before external compassion.
Q: What is your vision for the world in the next few decades?
A: With effort, a more friendly world. Less of a gap between the rich and the poor. People of color will have the confidence in themselves to know they can achieve as much as anyone else, and will take on the training and education to fulfill these opportunities and prove each person the same. Overall, ideally, a more compassionate world.
Q: How do you show compassion to those who have hurt others?
A: With understanding. Understanding the relationship between all living things allows unbiased compassion to all others. People who have hurt others particularly need compassion for two reasons. One, they work against your goal for overarching peace. Secondly, they are probably hurt themselves as they hurt others, so they need more compassion to heal their hurt within.
Q: How do we balance compassion for others and compassion for the planet?
A: The moon looks like a nice place from Earth, but we cannot settle there. This is our home. Some things are beyond our control, perhaps global warming has some influence with the alignment of the planets. Yet we do have control over many things and our behavior, good and bad, has an effect. We will not notice the degradation until things have collapsed. Therefore, we must work as part of our daily lives to maintain and appreciate the Earth. To this extent, I no longer take baths, only showers[all laugh].
And at this point the Dalai Lama made his exit with much thanks, to thunderous applause. My take was a brilliant public speaker, clearly with some important messages. The Dalai Lama had amazing awareness.
I mentioned he spoke excellent English, and it is true. A few points during his speech or Q&A, there was a word he wanted to use but did not know the English translation. He would give his line, and on the gap with the unknown word, would ask his interpreter, receive the translation, and continue. I was very impressed with the way he never actually misspoke; any opportunity that would be error was deftly handled so his words proceeded apace. His awareness of his skills and limitations were such that the audience knew of the gaps of his knowledge without being affected by them.
Besides his clear public speaking skills, one got the impression he was having fun up there. Serious topics sure, but nothing so heavy that he couldn’t crack wise when the situation came up. His wisdom, gratitude, and simple joy made the entire presentation eminently approachable and persuasive. Perhaps it doesn’t need to be said to this group, but I recommend to anyone who has the opportunity to listen to him speak. You will be glad you made the trip.
- Posted on 19 May 2008 in Happiness |
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Comments (102)
Clay Collins | The Growing Life Says:
May 19th, 2008, 20:08 pm
This is truely excellent. Great job with transcription and for making these words available for wider distribution. Much, much thanks to Noah Well!
–Clay
The Daily Minder Says:
May 19th, 2008, 20:19 pm
This man is the single most amazing being alive today. He has done so much for world peace and it is going to be a truly sad day when he passes away.
Great job on the post. It is really kind of you to take the effort to get this put up on Zen Habits.
I have seen HHDL teach a few times in India and every time he said something that changed my life. I hope it does for people here too.
One note though - HHDL speaks Tibetan, not Chinese.
Great work.
TDM
Vered - MomGrind Says:
May 19th, 2008, 21:07 pm
“People who have hurt others particularly need compassion… they are probably hurt themselves as they hurt others, so they need more compassion to heal their hurt within.”
He IS an amazing person, but I am having a very hard time with this idea. Where do we draw the line? When do we NOT understand and forgive a person who has hurt others?
If a friend betrays me, I can try to understand and forgive. But what about a person who hurt or killed a child? Or a war criminal who tortured and murdered thousands?
I’m not an expert on the Dalai Lama and his teachings. Maybe he addresses these questions elsewhere.
Michael Moniz Says:
May 19th, 2008, 21:07 pm
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It is always nice to hear positive and inspirational words!
The Daily Minder Says:
May 19th, 2008, 21:16 pm
Vered -
The point is that ALL beings are suffering. And from the buddhist point of view those war criminals are going to experience the results of their actions (karma) and it is only going to get worse for them.
Compassion cannot be partial. It has to be for all beings, especially the ones we don’t like.
The point is not to be a sucker and just let people get away with crimes, the point is to cultivate love and compassion in our minds towards everyone.
The buddhist vow of the bodhisattva says that buddhists will work until every being is enlightened. Even if a person has done bad things we still want them to be free from suffering. Right?
TDM
Corey - Simple Marriage Project Says:
May 19th, 2008, 21:33 pm
It all seems to start and even end with yourself. How you view things and react to those around you. You can control you, let others handle themselves. What a great way to be in relationships and life.
SpaceAgeSage Says:
May 19th, 2008, 21:49 pm
I am finding that when I release others with forgiveness and compassion, a power is created that pulls down the walls, softens the “me vs. them,” and negates the resistance keeping both sides from growth. I must admit, though, there are one or two people I have yet to find this place of peace with because of the depth of betrayal, but I am getting there!
Vered - MomGrind Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:01 pm
@ TDM: thank you for the explanation. So, we can bring them to justice and punish them, yet show compassion? Do you see why it is hard for me to grasp this philosophy? It is certainly very different from the Western philosophy.
John A Arkansawyer Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:10 pm
Vered,
I struggle with that myself.
I accept there are times when the situation has been brought to a point where some form of violence or retribution has been made inevitable. I also understand that inevitability doesn’t relieve me of the responsibility for the consequences of retribution or violence.
(As you can tell, I’m not completely in line with the Dalai Lama on this.)
What’s important, though, I’ve tried to suggest in my phrasing:
“has been made inevitable”.
It doesn’t just happen. It’s caused by the actions, often conscious, of human beings. It’s a made thing, and it can be unmade–better yet, prevented.
The passive voice I used up there begged the question of who or what that cause is because I was speaking generally. In specific cases, there are specific actors and specific causes, which must be identified and named, in order to take specific forms of preventative action.
Even if we can’t escape yet from the cycle of violence begetting violence, we can at least begin to slow the cycle down.
Those of us who seek to do that are no less imperfect than those who drive the cycle. If we can’t find full forgiveness for others who have done wrong–and I often can’t do that–we can at least try to find forgiveness for ourselves. We can also try to find forgiveness for others in that situation.
In a space of one year, three people I knew were convicted of child abuse.
One was an in-law who I just can’t find any forgiveness for. He’s dead now and I’m not sorry. Another was a co-worker who’d been terribly abused as a child, and who then inflicted similar abuse on others. When he gets out, if my child is grown, I’ll try to help him, or at least try to try to help him.
The third one was the one I was maddest at. He was a drifter, a musician who’d crashed in my practice studio for month. He wasn’t a bad person, to my knowledge. Years later, he was found with child pornography. Then it came out that he’d abused his step-daughter.
I felt responsible. I’d let him live off me for a long time. I felt as though I could’ve strangled him with my bare hands.
Shortly after he went to prison, he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. He died of it soon thereafter. It’s quite likely that the evil he did had an organic cause, a disease of the body. That harmless drifter I knew wasn’t the man who’d done all that harm. I came to forgive him.
That’s not the sort of perfect forgiveness I’d like to practice, but it’s what I have. Like I said, I’m no less imperfect than anyone else.
Does that help?
The Daily Minder Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:23 pm
Vered -
Remember, bringing people to justice has three main motivations in the legal system - punish, rehabilitate and protect society. So putting people in jail and bringing people to justice does entail some compassionate activity.
In some buddhist texts they say that we have all been reincarnating for so long that at some point every single sentient being has been our own mother. With this in mind we develop compassion thinking that our old poor mothers are wandering around suffering unbearable torments. This is what buddhist compassion is about - considering all beings to be as precious as our mother or our own children.
So - sometimes we punish our children or do things they might not like to protect them. I guess we have to do this as a society to keep things running. But we generate internal love and compassion for them and hope that one day we can help them to find true happiness.
Am I making sense? Let me know! Haha.
TDM
John A Arkansawyer Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:36 pm
TDM,
There’s another goal of bringing people to justice that I was only recently turned on to: Restorative justice. The idea behind it is that it’s less important to punish an offender than to make victims whole again–to restore them.
It doesn’t replace retribution, deterrence, or rehabilitation, but complements them. I think it’s a good idea.
Daniel Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:41 pm
I love the way this post describes the level of mindfulness demonstrated by the Dalai Lama. I also love how a beginner like myself can so easily see the thread that he’s talking about. I recently did a post about my loving kindness meditation. It’s a simple, “do-able” way to practice, and it puts me in touch with your inner world and brings out my compassion and generosity.
Vered - MomGrind Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:44 pm
@ John: it does help - thank you. Makes me realize how little I know! Your stories are deeply unsettling. What I can relate most to: “Even if we can’t escape yet from the cycle of violence begetting violence, we can at least begin to slow the cycle down.” This makes perfect sense to me.
@ TDM: I understand Buddhist philosophy better now. I don’t think I could ever live by it… but I have learned something new tonight. :) Thank you.
Leo Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:44 pm
@Vered: Yes, you’ve hit on one of the most difficult things in life … I talked about this in my post on Loving Your Enemy:
http://zenhabits.net/2008/02/10-tips-for-lifes-greatest-challenge-love-thy-enemy/
It’s not easy, even to comprehend. But I think the Dalai Lama has made a great point here — the people who do the worst things are those who are having the most trouble in life — and therefore are most in need of our compassion. It’s easy to have compassion for nice people, or even for friends who do something bad. But it’s truly difficult to have compassion for those who we think of as evil.
They are human beings, just like us. When we understand that, and really put ourselves in their shoes, we can begin to understand why they need compassion.
Like I said, it’s extremely difficult. I haven’t come close to mastering it. But it is a part of my life’s mission, to strive for this ideal.
Jo Jo Greenjo Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:50 pm
Isn’t the Dali Lama the guy who does the gerbil thing with Richard Gere?
John A Arkansawyer Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:55 pm
Vered, do note that I’m not a Buddhist, just someone who finds a lot of wisdom in Buddhism (and other places).
Laurie Says:
May 19th, 2008, 22:58 pm
Having compassion for yourself before you can have compassion for others reminds me of the verse in the BIble where you have to take the log out of your own eye before you can remove the speck in the other’s eye. You can be compassionate to others if you can’t give it to yourself. The Dalai Lama has a lot of wisdom to share.
The Daily Minder Says:
May 19th, 2008, 23:02 pm
Remember, it is called a buddhist PRACTICE. It is not something anyone can do right away - we have to work on it.
Great discussion here today Leo.
TDM
Don Says:
May 19th, 2008, 23:06 pm
Christopher Hitchens has some interesting things to say about The Dalai Lama.
Vered - MomGrind Says:
May 19th, 2008, 23:11 pm
@ Leo: I went back and read your post on loving your enemy. You know… the easiest thing for me would be to throw into this discussion the example oh Adolph Hitler as an example of pure evil, someone that I don’t think anyone would argue deserves understanding and compassion. Or would they??
As I said, this would be taking the easy route. There are other examples that are less black-and-white, but what I’m trying to say is, that there is PURE EVIL in the world, and regardless of what caused it (tough childhood, illness etc.), to me, the evil needs to be promptly REMOVED from society and does not deserve compassion.
I respect Buddhists for showing this compassion, and I respect you for striving to that, but I could never do it, and I don’t even see it as a goal.
I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one. :)
Lightening@Lightening Online Says:
May 19th, 2008, 23:20 pm
What a fabulous message. I particularly liked the part about being compassionate toward those who hurt others because they likely hurt themselves too. We so often get caught up in our “rights” to anger and don’t see the bigger picture.
Noah Says:
May 19th, 2008, 23:44 pm
@Leo, Clay: It’s Weil, not Well, and you’re welcome :)
Katie Says:
May 20th, 2008, 0:02 am
It also stood out to me the most when he commented on the importance of compassion for people who have hurt others. This is a theme I’ve been working on in my writing lately, and my life. It’s something that is not always easy for me to wrap my head around, because so often I’ll come up against a line I’ve drawn in the past of what is understandable behavior versus what is cruel and horrible. What has helped me time and again to work around that is the idea of having compassion for the person and disliking the action or attitude, such as bigotry.
@ Vered: Adolf Hitler is an excellent example. The one man in recent history who people seem to universally agree was a monster. Yet, at one point he was a little boy, who had fears and hopes and desires and was hurt by this world like everyone else. This is not an excuse for the cruel attitudes he perpetuated, but it does help to open him up as a person that I can feel compassion towards. It is a reflection of treating other people how you would not want to be treated, which I see all the time in myself.
Evan Meagher Says:
May 20th, 2008, 0:10 am
I go to UW and went to the Dalai Lama talk last month. It was one of the most moving things I’ve ever seen. Glad to see an article about it!
Ryan McLean Says:
May 20th, 2008, 0:16 am
Interesting post however I actually disagree with the answer to the first question.
How can paying more attention to your inner world be an act of compassion? I thought compassion was about helping others and reaching out to others.
I don’t want to be rude but I would please like someone to explain to me how focusing on yourself is an act of compassion?
I believe that as I am shown compassion by God then I can give compassion out. But my question really is this…can you give yourself compassion?
Miss Gisele B. | myBeautyMatch.com Says:
May 20th, 2008, 0:44 am
Can you believe being that close to the Dalai Lama?
Wow! That’s truly and amazing experience that is a one time in a lifetime event.
It’s so generous that Noah would be willing to share this incredible experience with all of us.
Miss Gisele B.
The Daily Minder Says:
May 20th, 2008, 1:41 am
Ryan -
Compassion starts with a motivation. Without the wish to benefit beings there would be no compassionate activity. Buddhists think that one must meditate and study first with the motivation that when they are enlightened they will be able to be of much more use. This is why monks and yogis spend many years in isolated retreat - they want to master their own minds before they can teach others to do the same.
There is a buddhist saying - “if you cannot help yourself your wish to help others is just a joke”. So HHDL tells us to work on our own minds and then work for others.
TDM
The Daily Minder Says:
May 20th, 2008, 1:43 am
I should also add Ryan that it is important to do what you say - work for others, even while you are working on your minds. Buddhists do a lot of community work, freeing animals about to be slaughtered, counselling, etc.
TDM
Pani Voskou Says:
May 20th, 2008, 2:55 am
‘One must be compassionate to one’s self before external compassion.’
I think this is harder than than actually being compassionate to others. Once you get over this part, I think, you can easily understand others better.
If I understand and accept my failings, my weaknesses, my ignorance, its easier to understand others, and as a result accept others as you are.
I can then work towards overcoming this, and thus help others through my own introspection. People are more similar than they would like to admit, even myself.
I think its correct to say that you have to recognise that you have a problem, before you can overcome it. If I’m ignorant, how can I expect others to make the right decision, know all the facts etc. I hope this make sense.
Anna Says:
May 20th, 2008, 4:24 am
Vered -
I am a novice in Buddhism, and my opinion is more personal, but based on several retreats I attended and books read.
On the same line with Newton nature laws stands the Law of Reaction or “Karma” Law. Anything we do, affects our mind and life and former lives. If someone killed a child, he deserves compassion because he simply ruined his life - maybe for several lives ahead! Buddhists also believe that your next life may not be so fortunate as you can be born as an animal without ability to think and follow your path.
And Dalai Lama is full of compassion to Chinese aggressors killing hundreds of people in his city Lhasa, because they are simply not aware, not understanding what they are doing and what the consequences will be.
Until people start realizing this global Law, which simply protects the world and other beings from bad deals, we will keep being egocentric and suffering.
With love and respect
Liara Covert Says:
May 20th, 2008, 6:07 am
The Dalai Lama has an incredibly positive effect on people. He looks happy because his inner peace shines through. He emits energetic vibes of compassion. You you feel them if ever you happen to take in one of his public talks or be in a place where he happens to be. His presence on this planet is a reminder that all we need is always accessible, inside ourselves. We need only look. It makes sense to recall, “seek and ye shall find.”
Leo Says:
May 20th, 2008, 7:31 am
@Noah: Ah, I apologize for misspelling your last name! I’m going to correct it now. Thanks again for the notes!
Joseph Planter Says:
May 20th, 2008, 7:56 am
This is not real religion. More like new age fantasies that allow people to feel they are moral but without having to actually account to anyone. You get what you put into it. If you take the easy way, don’t expect a real reward.
Daniel Says:
May 20th, 2008, 8:58 am
@Vered: Yes, Hitler is a popular example used to show someone that doesn’t “deserve” (kindness/compassion/forgiveness etc.).
What you must realize about Buddhism is that we have no concept of “justice” - because we lack a divine law giver. We do not have some all powerful being demanding that we see one thing as right, and another thing as wrong. So Buddhists see actions as either kusala (skillful) i.e. reducing suffering in the world, or akusala (unskillful) i.e. increasing suffering in the world.
We also have Karma and Vipaka - or “cause and effect”. I can feel compassion for Hitler, because he lived that life in such an unskillful way.
So as a Buddhist, I don’t see Hitler as “evil”, I see him as someone who has lived his life in a supremely unskillful manner. If you’ll excuse the analogy, Hitler was spiritually retarded. Should I feel less compassion for him than I would feel for a child who is mentally retarded?
Chris Austria Says:
May 20th, 2008, 9:11 am
Violence begetting violence is the one that I most agree with. It’s an endless cycle that is difficult to break. This is why I admire people like Martin Luther King and Gandhi. They truly lived by the notion that violence will not bring justice.
While I’m all for loving your enemy and turning the other cheek because I truly beleive that this they way to bring peace in the world, as Vered said, it’s very difficult to feel compassion for a person such as Hitler, Manson or Bin Laden. But at the same time, nobody ever said that peace and love is easy.
Perhaps it’s the pain and struggle that one has to go through in forgiving and loving thy enemy and feeling compassion for someone that’s truly evil that will eventually bring peace.
Great people do great things and in order for us to rid the world of suffering, pain, war, and death, we all have to be great!
TheZenDad Says:
May 20th, 2008, 9:38 am
I too find it difficult to wrap my head around finding compassion for those who have wronged you but I’m working on it. It is very difficult to bring yourself to do so but if you start with the small stuff it gets easier. I began by saying to myself “life is too damn short to go through it angry” It seems to be working, slowly but surely.
Great posting keeping with the Zen Habits high quality of posts.
Ryan McLean Says:
May 20th, 2008, 10:03 am
How come Buddhism is seen in everyone’s eyes to be a good thing, and selfless?
It sounds pretty selfish to me, do good so you can get good back. There is no sense of do good just because.
I do not agree with years of isolation. I don’t believe that such a long period of isolation will truely help someone be more compassionate.
And I also don’t understand why anyone would join a religion where the point of the religion is to cease to exist.
Anyone agree?
Mike OD - Fitness Spotlight Says:
May 20th, 2008, 10:03 am
“True global peace begins with inner peace”
So true…..I think it was DeMello who also said to look upon people who do you wrong with compassion as they are “Unaware” of what they do…as people who are truely “Aware” can do no evil.
Thanks for the great read today.
Jeff@My Super-Charged Life Says:
May 20th, 2008, 10:21 am
High ideals expressed here today. Obviously, some of them are very difficult to live out in our everyday lives. However, in doing so, we truly begin to live more fully. We should all aspire to being compassion, forgiveful, and understanding.
Daniel Says:
May 20th, 2008, 10:42 am
@ Ryan: That’s pretty much true of all religions - Christians are ordered to “do good” and to seek forgiveness when they do bad or fail to do good, and they’re supposed to do it because if they don’t they are punished, and if they do, they are rewarded. Same thing for Hindus, the Jewish, and Muslims.
That isn’t, however, how it works with Buddhism. A Buddhist is trying to work their way to the middle. It takes a LOT of “doing good” to balance out the bad you’ve done in the past, and the bad you do just by living. Even vegan Buddhists must kill to survive - just because you can’t hear the broccoli scream doesn’t make it any less dead. As a Buddhist, I strive to live in a skillful manner and to reduce suffering in the world where ever I can. When a Buddhist acts compassionately, or kindly, or with generosity, he or she must do it without expectation of getting anything back.
What does change is the way you see things.
I think this is part of why Buddhism is so hard for people to grasp. You can’t really teach Buddhism. You can teach Buddhist *practice*, but until you begin to practice you don’t really begin to understand. At least, that has been my experience so far with it :)
SpaceAgeSage Says:
May 20th, 2008, 10:47 am
By seeking compassion for ourselves we are not being selfish, we are doing the very challenging work of overcoming our limiting thoughts, our personal issues, and our self doubts. It is hard to be compassionate to others when we hate or reject some part of ourself. It is hard to be outwardly loving when we are inwardly cringing or outwardly lashing at others because of insecurity . When we heal our hearts and wounds, we can free ourselves from negativity and see people through the compassion we have now found flowing from ourselves.
SpaceAgeSage Says:
May 20th, 2008, 11:05 am
@ Daniel — re Christians doing good:
It is a legalistic, rule-keeping view that keeps certain Christians “doing” right out of compulsion. I am a Christian who finally got tired of “doing good” out of compulsion. I have learned love does not equal compulsion. I love my husband, and I show him love because that is what real love is all about, not because “I guess I must do this or the hubby will get on my case.” The same with God. I won’t get to know or love him very well if the relationship is all about rules and regs. Love is about giving, surrender, compassion, inner strength, perseverance, and a host of other internally motivated actions. Blindly following a rulebook is not love … at least not in my book!
Anna Says:
May 20th, 2008, 11:10 am
To Daniel:
Thank-you for comment, I spent several minutes thinking how to express this thought ;)
Vize Says:
May 20th, 2008, 11:57 am
It is important to have compassion towards others, but more important is to have compassion towards oneself.
Ryan Says:
May 20th, 2008, 11:58 am
Thank you for sharing this with all of us! This must have been quite the experience!
-Ryan
Jean Says:
May 20th, 2008, 11:59 am
Leo, thanks to you and Noah! My daughter was privileged to attend this true “event.’ Now, I receive another gift through today’s post.
:-)
Jean
Margi Says:
May 20th, 2008, 11:59 am
Thank you, Noah, for taking notes and sharing those with us. Thank you Leo for posting it.
And to everyone else, thank you for posting your thoughts and ideas about it. This discussion has given me much to ponder today.
Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Says:
May 20th, 2008, 12:09 pm
Sounds like you had a great time! I really enjoyed reading Destructive Emotions, a book by Daniel Goleman that similarly discusses a conversation with the Dalai Lama and some other people too. It’s a must!
Iris M. Gross Says:
May 20th, 2008, 13:06 pm
Compassion doesn’t just belong to the Buddhists. During the Sermon on the Mount Jesus tells his listeners it’s not enough to love those that you love. Your true mission is to love those who attack you - your enemies. It’s one of the most overlooked and least-followed directives for those who call themselves Christian. From the book of Matthew:
“You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.”
But I [Jesus] say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
In his own way, I believe the Dalai Lama gets it. In Buddhist tradition and terminology, maybe what he’s saying is just another way to say, “don’t take the easy way out.”
Kim Says:
May 20th, 2008, 13:10 pm
I so enjoyed this! I am fortunate enough to be going to hear his holiness myself on Thursday in London–and I CANNOT wait!!! This article whet my appetite. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it.
Peace,
Kim
Vered - MomGrind Says:
May 20th, 2008, 13:31 pm
@ Anna: “If someone killed a child, he deserves compassion because he simply ruined his life”. But Anna, I don’t care about HIS life, I care about that poor little child, and the child’s parents, and her siblings, and her grandparents. That person ruined so many more lives than his own, and I just can’t see how his life can be considered valuable.
@ Daniel: so, if the idea is that there is no “right” or “wrong”, no “good” or “evil”… I just can’t relate to that. Sorry. :) And again, I respect those who can, and do. Just don’t think I want to view the world this way, because my instincts are telling me otherwise, and I like to listen tom my instincts.
Jim Says:
May 20th, 2008, 14:45 pm
@Vered - having compassion for someone hurting others is not incompatible with wanting to stop them from hurting others.
If nothing else, carrying around hate or anger in your heart (even if justified) hurts you; learning to let it go helps you and consequently everyone you interact with thereafter, regardless of whether its target “deserves” forgiveness or not.
Sean Says:
May 20th, 2008, 14:57 pm
Vered,
I’ve enjoyed reading your posts as they’ve highlighted some of my own conflicts with Buddhism. Concepts like “love thy neighbor” and “everyone was my mother” break down under the harsh reality of a life filled with pedophiles and mass murderers.
However, this schism between “the ideal” and “reality” in fact underscores a key point in Buddhism: human existence is permeated with suffering. It is the nature of all life to suffer deeply and in many, many ways. It is unavoidable. Natural disasters will kill hundreds of thousands, men and women will butcher each other, and children die.
To witness and understand how our lives are saturated by pain and sorrow is the foundation of many Buddhists (including myself) because it inspires us to find a way to stop this suffering. The catch is that as humans, we are unable to. A suffering of impotence, I guess. Perhaps if we ourselves become Buddha, then there is a possibility, but certainly not today.
Sean
Leo Says:
May 20th, 2008, 15:04 pm
This is a great discussion, guys. Enjoying it immensely. :)
SpaceAgeSage Says:
May 20th, 2008, 16:02 pm
Jim — well put. We are diminished when unproductive anger and vengeance weigh down our hearts. Forgiveness, even if it is “undeserved,” frees us from being bound to that negativity.
Ralph Says:
May 20th, 2008, 16:48 pm
… thank you for this wonderful article, and this reminder to all of us that the most loving thing we can do for our brothers and sisters and this mother earth is to be happy … this is not selfish, this is removing one miserable person from the planet and in its place putting a happy one, who’s effect from simply BEING is to bring light where there is darkness
yours in the way beyond the way,
ralph
beyondthemind.org
Simple Zack Says:
May 20th, 2008, 17:00 pm
His Holiness the Dalai Lama has been an incredible source of inspiration to me. His messages on peace and compassion are some of he most beautiful words spoken in the world today. Wonderful post.
Janice Cartier Says:
May 20th, 2008, 17:05 pm
Compassion. In order to be able to give something, one must actually own it. Finding compassion for yourself, love for yourself, grace for yourself, allows practice in sharing it with others.
What a lovely gift today. Thank you for sharing this incredibly wonderful experience with us.
iucca Says:
May 20th, 2008, 17:21 pm
I saw and listened to Dalai Lama words last year in Vancouver. He preaches compassion, and love. It is hard but not impossible , if we understand that these things have so much power. And when you transmit positive feelings, even if not instant, but there is a feed -back, the other person responds. This man opened me heart. He really is a holly man.
Noah Says:
May 20th, 2008, 17:28 pm
Vered: I think the schism is that you believe your potential compassion somehow sanctions an evil act. If one believes the universe takes care of itself through karmic means, than our own personal viewpoints matter little, if at all. Therefore, why make ourselves unhappy by harshly condemning evil acts? Personally, my goal right now is not towards active compassion, but just keep that “still heart” and not let someone’s acts pull me down into negativity and anger. Baby steps. Remember a grudge is like drinking a poison hoping someone else will die.
Harald Says:
May 20th, 2008, 17:29 pm
Vered,
I can very much understand your concerns.
I looked up the definition of “compassion”, as I was not sure what it means. It says “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others” and from Latin compassio(n-), from compati ‘suffer with.’
Some thoughts that went through my head:
The year is 2008:
a child was molested, mistreated and suffered immense.
To be compassionate, to “suffer with” the suffering child is not difficult. Or is it?
The year is 2028:
A person is killed. To “suffer with” the murderer?
But exactly that molested child became the murderer.
To be compassionate?
Did I make a mistake then, that I was compassionate with the child, before I knew, that he was going to be a murderer.
Can I be more compassionate by knowing the murderer’s history? He was once a victim, does that change my point of view? Do I or did I have a “concern for the sufferings or misfortunes ” in the murderer’s life?
Does the change of my viewing point alter my judgement? If i was living in the year 2028 and did not know what happened in 2008, how would I judge the person?
Unfortunately we can’t see the whole picture.
We hear about terrible things people do to each other and very little facts can arouse our deepest emotions…. hating the aggressor and pitying the victim is not difficult.
This can be an emotional judgement, a shortcut.
But the world is more complex.
It is very difficult to change the course of a flying bullet, but it is much easier to influence the shooter.
Daniel Says:
May 20th, 2008, 19:34 pm
@Vered: I understand completely. It’s why I tell people that Buddhism can’t be taught. Buddhism can be discussed, and Buddhist practice can be taught, but until you begin to practice, you don’t really start to understand it.
The Dalai Lama said: “Paying more attention to your inner world. The tenets of Buddhism allow those to examine our inner realm.”
Yes. Yes. Exactly. Once I began to practice, and began to follow the precepts, all of these ideas began to make sense to me.
Let me also say that I do not believe that Buddhism is the “best religion”. I do, however, believe that Buddhism is the best religion for Buddhists. It just took me a lot of years to realize that I was a Buddhist!
GreenTea Says:
May 20th, 2008, 20:45 pm
Noah and Leo,
Thank you for this article–it’s very well-written and does a great job of conveying his amazing wisdom and compassion.
I also recently read Deepak Chopra’s short article on the Dalai Lama for the TIME 100 in which he said, “I don’t dislike the Chinese, only their actions”.
Wow. Imagine if the rest of us could make this distinction…
quench Says:
May 20th, 2008, 20:53 pm
Thank you for this post.
But, please, the Dalai Lama didn’t really thank everyone in Chinese, did he? Tell me he didn’t!
I guess I’m already not living up to his standards, but it seems to me he should have spoken Tibetan. Especially given the Chinese efforts to eradicate Tibetan culture. Please clarify!
Jenni Says:
May 20th, 2008, 21:07 pm
Seattle University, this is just too cool! I read your stuff when I get them in my email box, and like what you have to say, then to find your are a fellow SU student. I am way older, since I graduated in 1984, but good luck to you. I had to send this on to some friends, also alumni from SU. And I respect and am a fan of the Dalai Lama. He focuses on the positive, which is good to hear in these times.
Marsello - feedbacksecrets.com Says:
May 20th, 2008, 21:28 pm
Thanks for the extensive interview, I always found the Dalai Lama to be fascinating figure by his sheer ability to garner worldwide support for his cause. We can all learn that if you have good content in your message, and if you can communicate it effectively, there’s no limit as to the amount of support you can receive from the world.
Maura Says:
May 20th, 2008, 23:42 pm
Vered,
(At risk of reviving the likes of our old friend “Steve”…)
I don’t know your religious background, and I’m not a devout anything in particular, but Christianity, or perhaps more accurately Jesus, also strongly advocates(ed) compassion. Jesus taught compassion for the poor, the ill, the ostracized, and the imprisoned. “Turn the other cheek” rather than “an eye for an eye” is the new testatment message on how to respond to insult and injury.
In teaching the “Lord’s Prayer” Jesus also teaches looking internally first (”forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”) - my catholic upbringing rears its head - confession is about examining your life and asking for forgiveness, similar to the Dalai Lama’s recommendation to look inward first and be compassionate to one’s self to help you become more compassionate towards others. The story about the priests who brought the whore to Jesus for judgement and the requisite stoning to death were thusly put in their place by his recommendation “let those among you that have not sinned cast the first stone (at her).” We all have faults. Examining our own faults and accepting ourselves despite them makes it easier to accept the faults of others and find compassion for them.
In times of crisis, such as before the trial and crucifixion, Jesus headed to the mountaintop and spent 40 days in reflection and prayer… looking within, to find the ultimate example of Christian compassion… “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do…”
All that said, the Dalai Lama emanates a palpable spirituality and an extraordinary capacity for compassion. Whatever guidance or path works for each of us is the right path. And we are all clay, works in process.
Peace…
Vered - MomGrind Says:
May 21st, 2008, 0:09 am
Thank you so much for all your responses. I feel a little uncomfortable, because it seems that I hijacked this discussion with my questions, but I thought these questions needed to be asked.
I can understand a lot of what you are saying, and I see the beauty in it. I know that we don’t see the entire picture; that our actions have very limited influence over the big picture; and that pain is a big part of life.
Although I am Jewish, I am familiar with Christian teachings about compassion and turning the other cheek. The Jewish book of the Talmud says “Those who are insulted but do not insult others in revenge, who hear themselves reproached without replying, who perform good work out of the love of the Lord and rejoice in their sufferings… are as the sun when he goeth forth in his might.” So the idea exists in Judaism as well.
The theory is beautiful. Incorporating it into one’s life: not to easy. This discussion left me with a lot to think about. Thank you.
Christy Says:
May 21st, 2008, 0:55 am
I was struck by the notion that the Dalai Lama was speaking in Chinese “His native tongue” at the beginning of his remarks. I would have thought one of the three Tiebet dialects would have been his native tongue. Did he really grow up speaking Chinese?
Carol Says:
May 21st, 2008, 2:45 am
I have always been interested in Buddhism but there are many concepts related to it that I have a tough time understanding. Not that I don’t believe in them, as such, but the concepts are very foreign to me and sometimes they are so foreign to me that what the author is trying to say just does not make sense to me. So I am not a Buddhist, and I am not a scholar, and I am by far not perfect by any means. So please take my thoughts as those of an untrained and rather uneducated soul.
I think that the entire thing of being compassionate to all is easier to understand if maybe we detach ourselves from it a little. Let’s say a child was killed by a dog. It happens quite often these days, so it’s possible. Now, many animal lovers are still able to be compassionate towards that dog, saying “he was abused” or “he wasn’t taught any better” or “he was protecting his territory” or whatever. Sometimes, depending on the situation, we can figure out what “caused” the bad thing to happen. Sometimes “he just snapped.” A lot of times, a lot of people can come up with a lot of reasons “why”. Probably, quite often, the dog is a “nice dog”, a “pet”. But it did something very wrong. Murder. And many of the things in its background are no longer fixable. Many of those same animal lovers, who might even protest against euthanasia of pets at shelters, would still understand the need for dog to be euthanized, to prevent further danger–that’s having compassion for the other people who might come into contact with the dog. But that doesn’t necessarily lessen the sadness that the dog’s life was as it was, the wrongs that it suffered that might have been prevented, and the fact that another life was lost, in addition to the child’s. Sometimes evil deeds must be stopped, regardless of where the compassion lies.
Anyhow, that’s my untrained take on compassion–I think that you can still have great compassion for other beings, but that sometimes compassion for the ones who might be hurt necessitates putting a stop to the evil somehow.
Ryan McLean Says:
May 21st, 2008, 4:15 am
Goign on from before.
Christianity does not require you to ‘do good’. Yes christians like to do good (or sometimes just try to do good) but it is not required.
You can receive what Christ did and still do bad things. It is not the best way to do it. But grace in it’s very nature does not require anything in return.
That is what makes christianity different from other religions. It doesn’t require you to do good to cancel out the bad or make right the wrongs, jesus did that and all we have to do it accept it.
What does everyone else think about this? I am open to ideas
sandy chen (barcelona, spain) Says:
May 21st, 2008, 5:12 am
Thanks for the post; I read it and all the comments and couldn’t help but wonder about the glaring American tendency to view things as black and white (eg, “pure evil”). Buddhism is based on the idea of reincarnation.
Consider, for example, last month’s news of the Austrian Josef Fritzl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case) who kidnapped and raped his own daughter for 24 years, bearing 7 incestuous children with her. I read a lot of comments in the British press, and noted many Americans referred to him as pure evil.
What the heck is evil? Absence of any good? Yet the case came out and he confessed because he wanted to save one of his daughters-granddaughters. He lives in Amstetten, site of a former Nazi camp.
If you believe in reincarnation and the idea that we live multiple lives (read Dr. Brian Weiss’ “Many Lives, Many Masters” http://www.brianweiss.com/), then you might conjecture that his soul made a pre-birth pact with the soul of Elisabeth (his kidnapped/incest victim daughter) to teach her soul about the true pain that humans can inflict on one another. Is it possible that she was a former Nazi guard in the camp and killed hundreds or thousands of innocent people, torturing them in excruciating ways? It doesn’t excuse his actions in this life, and I fully believe in punishment for crimes committed. However, our compassion should extend not only to her and her children, but to him, as well. They’re souls on the path of enlightenment, like the rest of us.
@ Noah, I also attended a talk given by the Dalai Lama last September, held in Barcelona, Spain. His message was similar.
Btw, the fact that he spoke in Chinese (or Tibetan?) to give his thanks has me wondering whether it was a veiled message to the Chinese students in the audience. When the Dalai Lama spoke in Barcelona, his speech was entirely in English. He may not have as full of an English vocabulary as others, but he is perfectly fluent and capable of giving speeches in English, having done so his entire life.
@ Don, thanks for the article at the Salon. I have heard rumors from people who know the Dalai Lama personally that his holiness is a normal person full of contradictions (ie, with a long-time lover, etc.) like the rest of us, but who was placed in an extraordinary position. For those who scrolled too fast down the comments, the link is: http://www.salon.com/news/1998/07/13news.html
I think that the media tends to put certain people on pedestals and we are led to believing that those people are infallible super-humans. I’m glad that the Dalai Lama has been able to propagate his ideas of love and compassion worldwide, and that he is at least acting and speaking with integrity about being loving and compassionate with all beings.
@ Leo, thanks for your writings. I’ve been reading you regularly ever since I added zenhabits to my netvibes.
Daniel Says:
May 21st, 2008, 7:57 am
@Ryan: That’s all news to me. Growing up, I attended Methodist, Presbyterian, Church of Christ and non-denominational churches. The message at all of them was pretty straight forward: do bad things and go to hell, do good things and go to heaven, They did also make it clear that I could do good things, but if I didn’t also accept Christ as my savior, no matter how much good I did, I would still go to hell.
My understanding is that Jesus did a lot of things, but it is not my understanding that a belief in Jesus will give me permission to go out and do things that Christianity would define as evil because my belief gives me a free pass, so to speak. If I have this wrong, please let me know.
Muscle Post Says:
May 21st, 2008, 8:26 am
What a tremendous opportunity for you to be able to see the Dalai Lama speak! I’m very jealous but also very appreciative that you shared your report with the rest of us.
Scott Says:
May 21st, 2008, 10:14 am
Great post. I was lucky enough to see the Dalai Lama speak 3 times when he was in Seattle in April and its something I’ll remember forever.
The event was called “Seeds of Compassion” and webcasts of his talks are available at their website (http://www.seedsofcompassion.net/).
Wade Says:
May 21st, 2008, 10:32 am
@Daniel Christians are not saved by their good works, but by their acceptance that Jesus is their savior. The core Christian belief is that, through the death and resurrection of Jesus, sinful humans can be reconciled to God and thereby are offered salvation and the promise of eternal life. There are differences between the different denominations, with some believing that once you have accepted Christ you are saved regardless of any future action and others believing you must continually ask for forgiveness for every sin you commit, but the belief that you are saved by accepting Jesus as your savior is the foundation of Christianity. There is no “do good things and go to heaven”.
Daniel Says:
May 21st, 2008, 11:23 am
Reading back over my previous comments, I just want to take a moment to make clear that I’m not attempting to attack anyone here. I’m enjoying the discussion and the debate. As a Buddhist, I have the choice to believe or not believe in whichever God or Gods I choose - since my upbringing was Christian, that tends to be the God I consider when I have theist tenancies. If I were ever to become an atheist, that would be the God I didn’t believe in (sorry, little joke there, I do sometimes think I’m funny).
@Wade: So if I understand what you’re saying, as long as a Christian accepts Christ, that Christian can then go out and rape, murder and pillage, secure in the knowledge that they are going to heaven?
My understanding is that to actually accept Christ, you have to demonstrate by your actions that you’ve accepted him - simply saying the words won’t do it. If you can’t get into heaven without demonstrating an acceptance of Christ, and demonstrating that acceptance is done through witnessing and good works, then we’re doing the tomato, to-mah-to thing here.
Again, I can only speak about the 4 different Christian systems I have experience with, so it may be different in other Churches.
Ryan McLean Says:
May 21st, 2008, 11:57 am
@ Daniel
Well the bible says in Romans that “If you believe in your heart that he is lord and confess with your mouth you are saved”
It doesn’t say anything about having to back that up with actions. Though I must apologise for all the bad christian examples out there that have shown you and others nothing more than a religion and a set of rules.
Christianity for me is not a ‘religion’ but it is a relationship where I talk with God and hang out with Him.
If as a buddhist you can search all religions then go back and search God a-fresh. See if he is the real deal. If he isn’t then sweet go back to being buddhist, but beware because if you find out God is real he wants to be the ONLY God in your life.
Dan Cole Says:
May 21st, 2008, 12:53 pm
If you guys haven’t already, you should read the book Siddhartha. There is a free online version @ http://www.online-literature.com/hesse/siddhartha/
Siddhartha is the son of a very rich man, but leaves home with nothing to find enlightenment and end his suffering, because he saw so much of it in the world. The path he took or what he did later becomes Buddhism (Based on a true story I guess).
Shilpan|successsou.com Says:
May 21st, 2008, 14:40 pm
I’ve had privilege to listen to HHDL speak at Emory university in Atlanta. He truly espouses simplicity, clarity and inner peace for a better world. His ideals on peace are similar to the ones Mahatma Gandhi practiced during his non-violence struggle in India. A great leader, indeed.
Shilpan
B Says:
May 21st, 2008, 14:42 pm
I saw the Dalai Lama speak at the University at Buffalo a year and a half ago. It was incredible. There were over 30,000 people in the stadium to hear him, and you could literally, hear a pin drop. I’d never experienced anything like it. His talk then was much like what’s reported here. I agree, if you ever have the chance to see him in person, go. It’s as if, he is speaking directly to you alone.