Photo courtesy of stephcarter 7 Essentials For Living Your Fullest Potential
Editor’s note: This post was written by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead.
Most of us have heard something like this before: “You have a lot of potential,” or in school, “You have so much potential, work hard and you might realize it.”
The only problem is no one seems to tell us where to start or how to achieve our fullest potential. After all, potential is such an ominous term. You can’t measure it. You can’t quantify it. You can’t define potential.
Even though we may not ever be able to measure our potential, we can develop habits to help us grow. Here are 7 essentials I’ve found to ensure that you are the best possible version of yourself:
1. Have an open mind. Everyone talks about how important having an open mind is. But what they don’t say is how much having an open mind can affect your potential. A lot of opportunities pass us by because we’re stuck in a limited pattern of thinking, or we’re afraid to take a risk. If there’s no actual real (or perceived) danger, take the risk. The worse that can happen is you’ll look silly. Having an open mind is the first step to reaching your potential, because it gives you the willingness to take risks. We’ll never be the best we can be by playing it safe. As the saying goes: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.”
As a musician, when I make a mistake, I’ll cringe and think I sounded terrible. After I’m done playing and ask someone if they heard my mistake they usually say “What mistake?” There’s a good chance you see yourself more critically than other people do.
2. Seek out new perspectives and contexts. The more perspectives you seek out, the more you push the boundaries of your mind. If you only focus on one thing, you’ll likely become an expert before long. But if you stay inside your box, you’ll be like a stiff bridge, waiting to collapse when the first hurricane comes through. A well built bridge has give; it has a certain amount of flexibility to it.
Try to push the borders of your thinking. Here are some suggestions:
- Get inside someone else’s mind. Pick their brain and try to see things from their point of view.
- Listen to music that you never would have dreamed choosing. Give it a chance. If you don’t like it, you can always turn it off. I know there are some types of music I can’t stand, no matter how much I try to give it a chance.
- Change your routine. If you buy the same jelly donut, the same coffee, and drive the same way to work everyday, try something different. Be adventurous. Try the bear claw. Drink blueberry tea instead. Take the scenic route home.
- Learn a new language. Learning a different language forces you to think in that language. It pushes your mind to make new connections between ideas, phrases, and thought patterns that never would have been pushed.
- Travel. What better way to stretch your mind than by completely immersing yourself in another culture?
3. Ask for what you want. Everyone’s heard the saying “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” It never surprises me how many people fail to get what they want because they’re too afraid to ask for it. Their fear of rejection and embarrassment holds them back from asking for help. In order to get what you want, you have to have the courage to ask others for assistance. That doesn’t mean you mooch off of other people. It means you have the wisdom that by working together, you can accomplish far more than you could alone. Which brings me to number 4…
4. Help other people succeed. The best way to reach your fullest potential is to help other people as much as possible. When it’s your time to ask for help, other people will be more inclined to help you in return.
If you find yourself falling short of your best, it’s likely because you’re not giving enough of yourself. The more you give of yourself to others, the more value you create. The more value you create, the more other people will want to give value back to you.
By helping others as much as possible, you create a wide network of support. Most great people you’ll meet will tell you they didn’t achieve greatness alone. They had many mentors, and they stood on the shoulders of giants.
5. Think different. You won’t be surprised to find that those who have reached their greatest potential have often been the most prolific. They aren’t afraid to step outside of the norm. In fact, most of these people would consider the norm as something to vehemently avoid. Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, and Ralph Waldo Emerson (to name a few) were considered radical thinkers. Now they’re just considered geniuses.
Thinking different doesn’t just mean intentionally going against the grain, though. It doesn’t mean swimming upstream blindly, just because you want to revolt against authority. What it does mean is having the courage to express your individuality. It’s in developing and unabashedly accepting your unique strengths and talents that you’ll reach your highest potential.
6. Work smart, not hard. By working smart you can save a ridiculous amount of time you would have otherwise been spinning your wheels. Working smart is about paying attention and taking the time to do your research. It isn’t, however, obsessing over getting every little detail figured out. That’s obsession.
Working smart means modeling other experienced people and doing your homework. It’s the difference between first watching an experienced mechanic, and then haphazardly trying to wing rebuilding an engine. Working hard at that point becomes irrelevant when you don’t have a clue to what you’re doing.
7. Change your auto-response. When you want to do something, don’t think about it, just do it. Many of our opportunities in life pass us by simply because we can’t make a decision. We’re wrapped up in an effort to figure out all the facts and gain enough experience before we take the plunge.
The truth is, most experience comes from making things up as you go along. You’ll inevitably make mistakes and achieve less than perfect results. If you can develop a keen ability to ignore fear of the unknown, you can take years off your learning curve.
Instead of thinking “I don’t know,” think “I’ll figure it out.”
It will help you overcome you fear, and can be very liberating.
Jonathan is the author of Illuminated Mind - The less boring side of personal development. His articles include Living Freestyle: Life Without a Template and Liberate Your Life: Put Yourself on Auto-Response. You can subscribe to his blog here.
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Comments (64)
Corey - Simple Marriage Project Says:
September 10th, 2008, 19:39 pm
Ask for what you want. You’d be amazed how much this actually comes true if you’ll simply ask. I always ask to fly first class when boarding a plan. Been upgraded twice by simply asking.
Thomas Herold Says:
September 10th, 2008, 19:40 pm
Know the areas in your life where you are drawn to easily. What comes easy to you - what gives you the most pleasure when you are creative?
What would you continue to do even you would not get any money for it?
"Motivate Thyself" Says:
September 10th, 2008, 19:41 pm
Great post Jonathan! I enjoy reading your blog anyway, but it’s great to see you here at zenhabits. Every point you made rang true for me but #4 is a big one that I have found to be true. I think of people like Leo and Darren (@problogger) who are genuinely nice people who actually extend a helping hand on a regular basis.
All too often we are ‘in it for ourselves’, trying to make the most of our attempts of self promotion. This is easy to do as a blogger and necessary if you want to find new readers. But making sure that you lend a helping to others at the same time is not only the best thing to do, it’s the right thing to do.
Again, it’s great to see you put up such a great post on zenhabits!
Shanel Yang Says:
September 10th, 2008, 19:49 pm
One way to measure your own potential is by asking yourself which of these 2 questions you agree with more:
1. Talent, intelligence, creativity, etc., are traits that people are either born with or they’re not.
2. Everyone call learn to be smarter, more creative, and more athletic.
Teams of researchers at Stanford U. have proven that if you believe you can learn to be better at anything, you will actually stop sabotaging yourself, give it the old college try, and actually improve at anything you really try to. For more, see “Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/04/12/change-your-mindset-to-change-your-life/
David Finch Says:
September 10th, 2008, 19:49 pm
There was a time when I missed a couple major opportunities because I wasn’t open minded. However, being open minded is more than a mind hack, it’s really changing your habits to how you think and view the world.
Close minded individuals are usually people who have lived in some type of sheltered environment. Being open to other ideas, people etc. can be a major first step to reaching that potential.
Good read!!
Myrko | AwakeBlogger Says:
September 10th, 2008, 19:51 pm
Work smart, not hard. I really like that one. And being an apple fan I like Think Different :)
Ryan McLean Says:
September 10th, 2008, 20:14 pm
Helping other people succeed is a key to achieving great things in life. I run an entrepreneurs blog with the goals of helping my reasders make loads and loads of money so that they can give away loads and loads of money to charity.
I am working my hardest at doing all the other things you mentioned as well but this is a big one for me. I love helping people and I love it when people let me know how I have helped.
Awesome post. Keep up the good work
JapanDave Says:
September 10th, 2008, 20:19 pm
An all around good list. I have to question your first point, however.
“If there’s no actual real (or perceived) danger, take the risk”
Taking a risk when there is no danger is a no-brainer. It is taking a risk when there is some danger (real or imaginary) that is the tough one to do, but the potentially rewarding one.
Jonathan Mead Says:
September 10th, 2008, 20:30 pm
@ Shanel: I think that’s really the debate of nature vs. nurture. Both obviously play a part. Belief, however, is a huge factor and should never be underestimated.
@ Dave: What I meant by perceived, is real perceived danger. You could have heard of warning for a tornado, but not actual have any physical evidence of it. That would be perceived danger. You have a reason to perceive it exists. Imaginary danger is like the fear of public speaking. There’s no physical threat.
Vered - MomGrind Says:
September 10th, 2008, 20:45 pm
“Work smart, not hard” is one of the best lessons that my mentor has taught me. The other lesson: “don’t sweat the small stuff”.
Nathalie Lussier from Billionaire Woman Says:
September 10th, 2008, 20:55 pm
I like the picture! ;) Ask for what you want, ain’t that the truth. It’s a lesson I am still learning, but I know it will pay off.
I also like “Think Different”, it works for Apple, why not for the rest of us? ;)
The Daily Minder Says:
September 10th, 2008, 21:11 pm
Work smart not hard. Wonderful advice. I wish more people would listen to it.
Great post.
TDM
Iqbal Latif Says:
September 10th, 2008, 21:32 pm
I would add few dimensions integral to great living ‘think outside the box’ and challenge status quo.
Be a person in flux, be adaptable and open to new ideas. There is no thought in this world that is complete; change is the name of life. Yesterday’s fictions are today’s facts.
The difference between success and disaster is ability to take risk and live with risk. Risk aversion is a recipe for mediocricity.
The hardest part with all this lofty living is the component of satisfaction with your life, be content, after putting so much accomplishments are certain but one loses the focus sometime, challenge and high powered living consumes people, here it is important to know that without happiness the fruits of triumph are always bitter.
Jess Says:
September 10th, 2008, 21:41 pm
When I think about ‘fulfilling potential’ I always worry about the fact you can’t fulfill your potential in EVERYTHING that you have potential in, if you know what I mean. Say if you had potential to become a great musician, you could go down that path and train hard (sorry, smart :) and get a music education and so on, but you may also have potential to become a skilled software developer or teacher or artist, and you cannot fulfil potential in any of these things without denying your potential to develop on another area… sort of like opportunity cost. Do you know what I mean? I’m afraid I’m not making sense. Perhaps by ‘potential’ you mean in general rather than specific terms..
Great post though, thanks Jonathan :D
Jonathan Mead Says:
September 10th, 2008, 21:55 pm
@ Jess: I definitely do know what you mean. I struggle with the same thing myself. I have creative ADD.
These are meant to apply in all areas of your life, and can be applied specializing, or generally.
Fit Bottomed GIrl Says:
September 10th, 2008, 23:06 pm
Great tips here. I’m pursuing a new job opportunity and I never would have done it had I not followed a lot of those tips.
Side note: That photo is, um, distracting. No? lol.
FrugalNYC Says:
September 10th, 2008, 23:15 pm
I agree with work smarter, its a smart idea itself :). But what about those who are not exactly sharp tools? Some people only learn through hard work…perhaps they are just too lazy to think a little before doing.
Nathan Says:
September 10th, 2008, 23:36 pm
superb post…I must admit I was expecting a Covey rip off, but this was very well done. Going against the grain and fighting instinct is a tough road, but I fully subscribe to the idea.
Mayank Keshari Says:
September 10th, 2008, 23:36 pm
Thanks for such a lovely post :)
I particularly like ‘ Seek out new perspectives and contexts’
Bala Says:
September 11th, 2008, 0:03 am
Wonderful post - Great Job
Work smart not hard and seek out new perspectives are real wisdom pearls. I have experienced the fruits of these two habbits personally.
The world is too big, there is so much for us to explore, we have to come out of the shell of our thinking pattern as you have mentioned.
One more tip is : “Do one thing that scares you, everyday”.
It may be taking a unlucky route or wearing a unlucky shirt, try it and i bet it will do wonders. We can overcome a lot of pseudo fears by doing so. Keep a list and do one thing that scares you everyday and at the end of one month you will realize how much you have grown.
Happy Living.
CrackingDays.com Says:
September 11th, 2008, 0:14 am
Hello.
What really affected me in this article is what you wrote about the following: knowing what you want, help people succeed, and think different. Personally, when I choose to do all the three I realize that I am myself. That’s it.
Glen Allsopp Says:
September 11th, 2008, 3:18 am
Seeking out new perspectives is a good one, even when we hear things that can make our lives better it doesn’t mean this is the definitive route or the steps we should take.
I always believe in hearing what others have to say before coming to my own conclusions.
Great post Jonathan
Evan Says:
September 11th, 2008, 3:39 am
I guess fulfilling our potential means something about our uniqueness. Not doing everything but the one or few things that we are to do - that is distinctly ourselves.
In this way it is possible for it to be an adventure and not just a cosmic example of that abusive school report card, “Could do better”.
Stephen Smith Says:
September 11th, 2008, 5:57 am
Points 3 & 4 are very powerful. So many times we are afraid or ashamed to ask for help, or ask for business. And on the flip side, greed and fear often prevent us from selflessly aiding others, not realizing that what goes around comes around…
Mary@GoodlifeZen Says:
September 11th, 2008, 6:56 am
Lovely article, Jonathan!
I especially like your suggestion #4: “Help other people succeed”. It seems to me that we’re all in this together. Growth doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
Here’s an example. Say you are faced with a wall that is much higher than you are. That’s an obstacle that’s difficult to surmount on your own. But two people can help each other. One can stand on the shoulders of the other and can then pull the friend up.
That’s how we can help each other to develop our full potential.
san Says:
September 11th, 2008, 7:34 am
Dear everyone,
I’m an international student, and have cgpa of 4.0. Though am good academically, i have low self - confidence at the beginning of each semester. I find it very difficult to speak up in class or get involve in extra curricular activities. The idea that I don’t speak very fluent english like the natives prevents me from trying out new things. Besides I’m more of a reserved low profile person. I’m worried considering the fact that I’ll be graduating soon and need to face the real world. How can I help myself?
Click A Life Coach Says:
September 11th, 2008, 7:55 am
Great article Jonathan, here is what is holding me back:
Number 3: Ask for what you want!
Very often we assume the other person knows what we want but forget they are a completely different individual than we are. They can’t ready our mind. This is true for marketing as well, many people hide a message inside their campaigns but forget to ask people to buy the product or their service.
Tim Brownson Says:
September 11th, 2008, 7:59 am
Nicely done JM!
I love the travel one. The one thing that has shocked me since moving to the US is how few Americans have traveled outside North America. Coming from a small island like the UK where most people my age have been overseas I have always been able to see the huge benefits.
I could get ripped for what I’m about to say, but I’ll say it anyway and I could very well be wrong.
In MY experience, it seems like the more right of center people I speak to have not traveled much and the more social aware/liberal I speak to have spent toime overseas. I sweeping statement I know, but I have had that reconfirmed time and time again in the 2.5 years I have lived here and even before I lived here.
@ San - the fact that you don’t speak good English doesn’t prevent you from doing anything. It’s your belief about what others may think that prevents you. I know it’s easy to say this, but you just need to go for it buddy and forget about what others think. You’ll not even remember these people in 10 years, and anyway you might find they are very supportive and you were worrying over nothing.
Evan Says:
September 11th, 2008, 8:30 am
Hi San,
It depends what you want to do. If you want to be an accountant this is different to being a movie star.
The path to growth can be one of small and easy steps. What is something you can do to move you toward your goal? Something you feel is as easy as possible.
Success Professor Says:
September 11th, 2008, 9:28 am
This is such a great list. I’m not sure that I can pick only one favorite. In my work and business I see the importance of “having an open mind” all the time. It is so vital. An open mind to try new things, consider new alternatives and to believe in yourself and your ability is vital.
Morgan Says:
September 11th, 2008, 9:51 am
Thank you. After the way I’ve been thinking for the last few days, I needed to hear what this post had to say. I’ve run into the problem of people saying I have a lot of potential and then trying to contort my life to reach it instead of being myself. Posts like these always help give me some perspective and gently nudge me to try and live up to my own potential in ways that make me grow and be happy.
Jason R Says:
September 11th, 2008, 10:42 am
Loved, that quote, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.” I’m definitely going to save that.
I also think #1 and #2 go hand-in-hand. It helps when you’re seeking out new perspectives, to have an open mind. It’s amazing what’s out in the world, when you try to look at it without preconceived bias.
Thanks for the nice post.
Maria | Never the Same River Twice Says:
September 11th, 2008, 11:08 am
Acting on impulse could be a key here. Many of us work to control our negative impulses, but fail to act on our positive impulses.
I’m a perfect example of this. Just this morning I had a great idea for my site. Have I implemented it, or even taken 1 step toward implementing it?
Nope.
Am I going to now that I’ve outed myself in public?
You bet.
DJ Says:
September 11th, 2008, 11:28 am
Great post man, just fantastic.
I’m glad you put keeping an open mind at #1. It’s so important and so overlooked by a lot of folks. Plus, it makes the other six tips more easy to implement.
Jonathan Mead Says:
September 11th, 2008, 11:44 am
@ Mary: You’re absolutely right. I think a lot of us fail to reach our potential because we’re trying to love up to someone else’s expectation. Only through accepting our own unique strengths and personality traits will we ever fully develop ourselves.
Linda Says:
September 11th, 2008, 13:23 pm
Great post! I always love what you write! So inspiring… But why was it put beside a picture that seems to say: «How to achieve your full breast potential»?
:-P
Veronica Says:
September 11th, 2008, 13:33 pm
I like the tip to “Think different.” Any easy concept, but one we often fear. We fear riducule from friends or family, we fear failing, or it just feels safer to stay inside our little corner of the world. One of my favorite quotes:
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” Epictetus
I just love that.
cyd Says:
September 11th, 2008, 13:48 pm
I agree, Linda. The young lady in the picture has definitely fulfilled her potential for augmentation.
Just saying. ;-)
tigerbee Says:
September 11th, 2008, 14:16 pm
I really love the quote “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.”
But who to attribute it to? I really want to start my career in the arts and leave the 9-5 job that is not creative behind but I’ve been holding back for fear I can’t make it. Maybe just leaping in the lake isn’t such a bad plan.
Tim Brownson Says:
September 11th, 2008, 15:14 pm
@ Tigerbee - I *think* it’s a paraphrase of the Jim Rhone quote “If you keep on doing what you’ve always done. you’ll keeping getting what you’ve always got”
Jonathan B. Says:
September 11th, 2008, 16:22 pm
I would read the article, but I can’t stop looking at the photo. =)
Productivity tip #12,304: Don’t look at photos posted by Jonathan Mead.
James Lovette-Black Says:
September 11th, 2008, 16:33 pm
Great ideas, succinctly written. All of them help us to respond from empathy, to grow by sharing, and to knit the bonds of community. Thank you!
Matthias Says:
September 11th, 2008, 16:36 pm
Really a great post.I liked it.
I think it is easier doing what you want to do if you have no choice. In our time, it seems to be the hardest thing to discover want you are here for and to actually do it, just as there are so much opportunities.
Sorry for this bad english.
Greetings from Germany!
@Leo: this is my first comment on your Blog, but I am reading ZenHabits since almost half a year. Sorry for staying in silence. Actually you inspired me to start my own blog, so I just would like to thank you, Leo! Keep on writing!
JimBO Says:
September 11th, 2008, 16:39 pm
And Shanel Yang keeps spamming away. Good job not repelling would-be-visitors from your website.
Jonathan Mead Says:
September 11th, 2008, 16:56 pm
@Tim: I never could remember where I heard that, but it always stuck with me. Thanks for clearing that up.
ThinkingWoman Says:
September 11th, 2008, 17:07 pm
Excellent ideas. I think the key to realizing our potential is to be creative in whatever we do, and to maintain balance in our lives, not overdoing one area in the hopes of reaching our potential, while neglecting other areas.
chris Says:
September 11th, 2008, 17:15 pm
Hi Jonathan,
Thank you for this informative post…
Was it difficult for you to follow these things that you listed here or did everything just came naturally. Also, what new language have you learned?
SpaceAgeSage Says:
September 11th, 2008, 17:51 pm
“Ask for what you want”
Yep! The answer is always No unless you ask.
tigerbee Says:
September 11th, 2008, 17:59 pm
Ah thanks Tim Brownson, I always like to know where quotes originated….gives me stuff to research ;-)
Jonathan Mead Says:
September 11th, 2008, 20:13 pm
@ Chris: I think the most difficult thing for me to follow is “asking for what you want.” I tend to be a stubborn do-it-my-self kind of person. Something I”m trying to work on.
As far as the language goes, I’m currently studying Cantonese.
Still Life in Buenos Aires Says:
September 11th, 2008, 21:38 pm
Excellent and motivating post, Jonathan!
I wish I had known “Ask for what you want” when I was younger. I think we too often wait for others to act when we need to agitate to achieve our wants and dreams. I spent too much time feeling sorry for myself that others couldn’t read my mind.
Life is too short to wait for others to fulfill our desires! :-)
Vintage Mommy Says:
September 12th, 2008, 2:18 am
Carrie and Danielle (carrieanddanielle.com) are great examples of asking for what you want. They had an idea for a book (called Style Statement) and they contacted a very-well known agent (cold) and he took on their project. Now they’re published.
Wearing Mascara Says:
September 12th, 2008, 15:37 pm
Great post! The part I find most intriguing is the auto-response one. I always find it difficult to just DO something rather than think and think and think about it until it’s too late… It’s like running for me. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to actually go out and do my running routine. I think of excuse after excuse and sometimes I end up not going because I wasted my time obsessing over it.
Send Postal Mail Says:
September 12th, 2008, 20:11 pm
Good post! But I think you missed one…. Follow Your Heart. I read the book the Alchemist lately and it was all about following your personal legend (which I think is about following your heart) so I decided to drop everything and just do it. It’s not as scary as it seems and for once the world isn’t all about making money but doing what you really love and therefore living to your fullest potential.
DennisSC Says:
September 12th, 2008, 23:49 pm
Asking for what you want can be a very effective technique.
It puts me in mind of an old Woody Allen gag:
The other night, I had my first experience with oral contraception. I asked a woman to go to bed with me, and she said “no.”
Rúbio Says:
September 13th, 2008, 22:33 pm
Great post!!!
Great quotes this post that found:
“When you want to do something, don’t think about it, just do it”.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.”
Soham Says:
September 14th, 2008, 0:01 am
You also have a great ability in selecting photographs for you posts.
Greenchilegirl Says:
September 15th, 2008, 0:25 am
ummm, maybe I’m not as angry as Kathleen, but I’m really not getting where the ab-errific, boobalicious fembot torso fits in with what I THOUGHT was the focus of this site. I understand “fit body, fit mind” but I keep seeing photos of skinny, adorable (racially-diverse, of course) girlie-girl models used to illustrate supposedly helpful philosophical musings and ideas. Might be nice eye-candy for the boys, but that’s what maxim.com is for. Can you bag the bimbos and stick with the real meat and bones (so to speak) of this site?
to the above comment Says:
September 15th, 2008, 2:01 am
greenchilegirl; cherry-pick the good from the [insert thing here, in this case, the article] and leave the rest as it is.
The Lonely Savage Says:
September 17th, 2008, 5:46 am
It always makes me glad to read posts like this. In a hectic and stressed world where people seem to take more stock in Getting Things Done and Conforming, not enough people stop and think about where they could be going and what they could be doing with their lives. I believe that there is so much untapped potential within all of us that is just dying for release.
Sincerely,
The Lonely Savage.
Seamus Anthony Says:
September 19th, 2008, 10:05 am
“As a musician, when I make a mistake, I’ll cringe and think I sounded terrible. After I’m done playing and ask someone if they heard my mistake they usually say “What mistake?”
Took me years to stop wincing and just pretend nothing happened. 99% of the time nobody notices.
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