Communication break downs occur because you don’t like what the other person is saying, or not saying, not because you can’t communicate. Communicating in marriage is all about being able to handle the message.

The two partners may have different communication styles, which is like speaking two different languages. They may also have different love languages. Corey’s advice will help, but relationships should be very much based on learning and working with the couple’s different styles.

For more, see http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/emotional-intelligence/personal-development-c/do-unto-others-what-works/ and http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/diagnosing-learning-difficulties-and-gifted-children-in-the-early-years/ .

How do you talk to your husband that is beyond self absorbed to see that your communication lines are slowly closing?

http://www.rebuildyourrelationship.com/how-to-save-my-relationship.html

I think listening is most important in relationship. People often say, you have to voice your opinion, make sure your partner hears what you have to say (or dont say), but we often forget to listen to them as well. Communication breaks down because of that, because the other person doesnt wanna hear, or doesnt like what the other has to say.

Listening without trying to get defensive (blaming your spouse) and taking responsibility for your actions, ensures communication line stays open and helps solve problems. Make sure not only to listen but hear him as well – by getting the message, understanding his point.

Anyways, i think you ensure communication keeps going by listening. Then you can look for the solution of the problem you two are having.

How does a person measure the degree to which they are “Not liking what the other one is saying”?

If you are lucky the person is able to admit they don’t like what you are saying and is able to separate the feelings from the person. What if a person admits they doesn’t like the message, but can’t manage to find a way to “move forward”?

Don’t many arguments boil down to, one or both parties thinking that the other is wrong? Most would agree with the “Grow Up” part, but would you say to your partner “Grow Up” if they don’t feel their perspective/opinion is invalid/inmature to begin with.

If a therapist is used to help identify possible areas that either party needs to “grow-up”, doesn’t that merely risk alienating the party that “Doesn’t like what the other person is saying”? I mean just because more than one person says something, isn’t that similar to turning up the volume? What if both parties have friends/therapists that have conflicting perspectives? They support one person or the other but there isn’t consensus?

My marriage is everything to me. Last month my wife and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, we’re both very proud. I was thrilled to read your post on communication — we’re doing a lot of what your wrote about. I guess that’s part of the reason why we’re successful. I wrote a post on my own blog about our personal relationship and our Secret Ingredients!

http://www.affirmationpower.com/blog/?p=162

Thanks for your great post and work toward improving people’s lives and marriages.

Ken LaDeroute
http://www.affirmationpower.com