My Most Recent Failures and What I’ve Learned

Trevor Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:13 pm

Sounds like I have all the same problems as you. Although they might have slight variations, all you need is a change in mindset and a “do it” to change it forever.

Chris Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:27 pm

6 kids?! It’s phenomenal that you get anything done!

MizFit Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:27 pm

thanks for the shoutout.

As Ive previously established with my readers I come here *because* of your honestly. how you share the ups, downs & struggles.

it normalizes my world.

as facets of it.

Miz.

Leo Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:35 pm

Thanks guys. :)

@Chris: Well, all 6 of them are in our house only half the week … two of my kids are from a previous marriage and I split the week with their mother. So half the time I have 4 kids, and the other half I have 6.

Interesting to note is that they’re home with us all day long, as my wife quit her job as a teacher to stay home and homeschool four of the kids. So as I write my posts, my 2-year-old daughter is climbing on my lap, my 4-year-old son is practicing home-made kung-fu moves in front of me (he’s really good), my 9-year-old daughter is practicing her singing for music class, and my 12-year-old son is outside cranking away on the electric guitar. :)

Brett Legree Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:39 pm

Leo,

I hear you about all of these (especially the patience thing - I’m only at 2/3 your level, with four kids, but I know where you are coming from).

Imperfections - or, those things that make each of us unique? Yeah. The things that make us unique, and interesting.

Every day, we do things just a little bit better than the day before, and that seems to be what matters most.

Cheers,

Brett

Ryan McLean Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:45 pm

I have the exact same problem with online reading. I will spend ages reading about something and never get any work done for my business or my blog.
You are the man leo…no one needs to be perfect and no one is.
Nice post

Success Professor - Danny Gamache Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:51 pm

Leo,

Thanks for the post. I appreciate your thoughts on procrastination. I feel like you. I know I get most important things done, however I just can’t help but wonder how much further ahead I would be if I procrastinated a little less. It is a great freedom to remember the priorities and allow them to take over. This helps take away stress from other projects that might be good but are not priorities.

BusyWoman Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:54 pm

Great post ! We should start a ‘truth in blogging’ revolution. I love blogs that are honest and look at the ups and downs. I think it is dangerous to read ‘everything is perfect’ blogs because it is like a form of advertising, that just points out how awful your own life is.

I love that you protray yourself as a real person, with real challenges. Guess what, I am real too!!!!

Fit Bottomed Girl Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:54 pm

That was really interesting to read. Perfection is impossible, but it’s the journey, right? :)

Valeria | TimelessLessons Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 20:57 pm

Thank you for sharing Leo. This is one of my focuses in life right now — breaking bad habits. I want to eat healthier, exercise more, procrastinate less. And internet is taking up quite a bit of my time lately.

Jessica Stalley Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 21:05 pm

Hi Leo,
some of the blogs that disappoint me are the blogs that seem to have a “perfect” writer. I don’t believe in perfection, but I do believe that your down-to-earth posts have helped me to change my life…

Kathy Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 21:21 pm

Leo
I agree that junk food is a habit. Stress brings out the cravings even more. Somehow I managed to give up soft drinks over a year ago, but I can’t seem to eliminate all the sugar. Those chocolate chip cookies I made for my daughter’s birthday last week sure were yummy. It’s a good thing she’s at university and I had to send them away to her or they all would have ended up on my waistline :).

As for patience… Let’s just say that we get better at it as our kids get older - at least until we have to teach them to drive. I can relate to feeling guilty after yelling and not being a perfect parent. Let me encourage you though, that in spite of this, our kids will grow into loving, self-reliant adults because we love them and do our best.

If not for our failures, how would we know success?

A Dawn Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 21:26 pm

I think no one can ever be fully perfect. If such ever happens (someone turns into a perfect person), it will be the end of life cycle.
Cheers,
A Dawn Journal
http://www.adawnjournal.com

Suzie Cheel Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 21:38 pm

How timely,
I decided today I must reread Zen to done and reimplement the good habits.

I feel normal when I read about your procrastination- what I allow to stop me

Thanks for the honesty

What a collection of fitness sites:)
Suzie

Eric Hamm Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 22:31 pm

Thanks Leo, for sharing your struggles with us. I don’t think anyone is thinking you’re perfect or that you even try to come across that way (at least I don’t see that), but it never hurts to show your ‘prone to struggle’ human side now and again.

The sweets thing tends to be one of my biggest struggles, especially this time of year. But I also enjoy a balance that allows for a treat on a fairly regular basis. You talk about ‘cheating’. If you incorporate it into your diet in such a way that the necessary balance is still there, you’re not cheating at all. Unless your cheating is on top of the ‘planned’ sweets. If that is the case, then shame one you! :-) Eric.

Gilmar Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 22:46 pm

Sorry Leo - I’m new here and have just made a great mistake. I thought I was “advertising” your story - I thought that this “digg” was like diigo, where we share good stuff we come across. The thing is it seems I said I have written the article. Awfully sorry - hope you can fix it.

jGrrl Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 22:46 pm

This is my first time here and I like you already :)

Mary@GoodlifeZen.com Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 23:01 pm

Lovely, comforting post, Leo!

Right now it’s raining. I should be writing or GETTING ON WITH THINGS - but I’m browsing my favorite blog (this one) and playing with the cat. I’m nibbling chocolate now and then too.

Sometimes I just get sick of all the ’shoulds’!

I have a wonderful recipe for glorious failure that I want to pass on to you, Leo. I call it my ‘Zero days’.

On Zero days -

# I stay in bed as long as I like
# I wear my pajamas all day
# I only read suspense novels
# I watch any TV programs I feel like
# I eat whatever comes my way
# I don’t do any exercise at all
# I don’t write a single thing

Try it and you’ll see that such a day is the ultimate relaxation.

Ah …I can feel a zero day coming on. Sorry, have to stop writing…

Esme Rattigan Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 23:08 pm

Hey Leo, another great post. I really respect the disclosure and the fact that you can identify the lessons along the way.
I can relate strongly on the procrastination front; my dissertation is coming along slowly and motivation is lacking big time. Even so, I can’t crash and cry that I am a failure; I have to continue to work towards that perfection. So things may look perfect even though they’re not and (it’s a compliment) but it takes a lot of hard work to achieve that look. Keep doing what you’re doing.

Israel Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 23:10 pm

So you are not perfect? That’s it, no more reading your blog. LOL. I kid, I kid. The honesty is very much appreciated. Sometimes you do come off as a know it all mr. perfect type, but that’s only to folks that don’t know the site and who you are.

keep it coming and thanks for the mention.

Mike OD - The IF Life Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 23:37 pm

Leo,

Thanks for the “shout out” as the kids may say…You are definitely not someone who fails at anything in my book, heck none of us really fail….we just act, learn and then move on to the next moment, as that is what life is right? Thanks for such a great blog and great inspiration for many of us out here. We all have our daily challenges…none of us are perfect by any means, but then again perfection is an illusion….we are just who we are by what we do with the time we have, and in those moments we are defined. Keep up the awesome work!

Mike OD

Tabitha (From Single to Married) Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 23:40 pm

Way to be honest Leo - I’m just glad to see you’re “normal” and like the rest of us! :)

Vincent Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 23:41 pm

Hey Leo,

I believe that nobody is perfect and everyone has their share of failure. Thanks for sharing with us, Leo.

Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

Dereck Coatney Says:

November 23rd, 2008, 23:43 pm

You mean you’re human? :(

Fine, I still like you.

Corey Freeman Says:

November 24th, 2008, 0:35 am

I’m personally battling a combo of procrastination and perfectionism that’s really tearing me down. Luckily, I seem to be making some great strides in that effort.

Thanks for sharing your lessons. Everybody makes mistakes, but it’s important to learn from them.

SleepWarrior Says:

November 24th, 2008, 0:48 am

Just as a side note:

You mentioned you read Mark’s Daily Apple.

For those readers who haven’t checked out his blog, I highly recommend it. The “primal blueprint” he supports has paid big dividends in my life.

Rusty - Fitness Black Book Says:

November 24th, 2008, 1:02 am

Leo,

Thanks mentioning my site…and I love ice cream. That picture actually made me kind of hungry…that is a Drumstick if I am not mistaken. I like mint chocolate chip flavor.

I suggest that you don’t eliminate this stuff entirely, just follow it up with a couple days of clean eating. Or do what Mike O’Donnell recommends…make the next day a Fasting day as part of your I.F. plan.

I enjoy your outlook on procrastination…I get down on myself for not accomplishing all the task I want to in a day. Like you, I take on a ton of projects. I wish I had more hours in the day at times.

I have actually learned a lot about blogging and offering value by reading your site. You have an well-respected blog for a reason. Good stuff!

Rusty

Leo Says:

November 24th, 2008, 1:08 am

@Rusty: You have a great site that is *right* in line with my fitness goals. I just wish you’d post more often — I can’t get enough! :)

LifeMadeGreat | Juliet Says:

November 24th, 2008, 1:11 am

Hi Leo

I read a post (can’t recall where) recently which mentioned the necessity of sharing one’s “not so perfect” side with one’s readers. I think it’s a good thing to do…but not always easy.

I’ve wondered myself about being hypocritical if all I write about is how to “solve” things as if I’ve “solved” it all myself. Which is VERY much not the case!

I must admit that I’ve never felt that you are portraying yourself as “perfect”. To me, your writing comes across as giving ideas, suggestions, experiences and in a sharing and kind way.

Thanks for the post
Juliet

johnlazy Says:

November 24th, 2008, 1:37 am

Well everybody has flaws. No one is perfect but perfect itself.

Don Says:

November 24th, 2008, 2:03 am

Hi,

I don’t agree with that blogger. I never once felt that you were trying to portray yourself as perfect.

You don’t have to tell me that you have flaws. I know you do brother. You, me, and everyone else in this world.

Isn’t this what it is all about though. Why do people read blogs like this? Why do you read the blogs you read? Yes we all have flaws but more simply we have opportunites to get better everyday. The sharing of our collective wisdom make us closer and closer not to perfection but to happiness. It let’s us live in our own skin and be okay with it.

Daniel Fackrell Says:

November 24th, 2008, 2:39 am

Leo,

This post highlights why Zen Habits is one of the two or three that made the cut when I had to trim down my reading. It’s not nonsense, it’s personal, and it comes from experience.

From one imperfect father to another, have you looked at Love and Logic? In a nutshell, the philosophy is this:

1. Let your children make as many of their own decisions as they safely can, and yes, that includes letting them make bad decisions and fail. The trick is to let them fail small and early so they learn to make wise decisions.

2. Help your children understand the natural (would exist without you) and logical (you decided on them together) consequences of their good and bad choices, and help ensure that they face them.

3. Relax. There’s only so much that you can do, and when you realize that your children are responsible for their choices instead of you, it greatly reduces the amount of yelling you feel like doing.

Thanks again for being genuine, for not hiding your mistakes, and for helping this ex-productivity junkie find ways to do things better without spending my entire day looking for them.

Thomas Says:

November 24th, 2008, 2:50 am

What I love about you and your blog, your honesty. Keep up the great work Leo.

Usman Says:

November 24th, 2008, 3:11 am

I think this is probably one of the most unique topics on a blog EVER. Great work

astrorainfall Says:

November 24th, 2008, 3:34 am

I stumbled upon your blog through another and I’m glad I was on a blog reading binge that day (I totally relate to this habit you have, too), and I just totally disagree with that blogger who criticized you.

I think you do make it a point to make allowances to be “human” in your advice. There’s that try, if you can’t this time, try again, ethos I get from your posts.

Excellent blog and I have been tuning in daily now. I think your tips are great and you have a way of breaking down mental challenges.

What I would like to see in your blog is, how do you whittle down the desire to indulge in materialism? You seem to do well in living frugally but happily. Do you ever feel bad about yourself when you see others who have more? I know it sounds like “common sense”, but in these bad economic times, it’s something on my mind a lot.

joe gelb Says:

November 24th, 2008, 3:39 am

i can relate to that recently i have done alot of drugs and alcohol and i tell myself that i do them because they are good for my health. its funny people got concerned when i called the long neck the dual action cleanse and since my friends stepped in now im clean i think

Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome Says:

November 24th, 2008, 3:42 am

Failures? I don’t see any failures in your post. Every single one of them is a success because you’re learning something from your perfectly normal imperfections.

So what would I call a failure? Totally mucking something up, making a complete non-Zen hash of something that the world thinks you do so well. An example? Not taking lessons or even being away of your challenges. That would be a failure.

Ross Says:

November 24th, 2008, 3:49 am

Why Leo! I really thought you were the perfect person, why did you have to kill it for me!

Seriously though, thanks for the post. I already knew you were a humble guy, writing a post called “my most recent failures” just proves it even more!

Beating procrastination is something that doesn’t happen overnight & has no no quick fix. When you make a point of getting on top of things early, a few weeks down the track old habits can sneak back in. Being accountable to other people and being consistent with commitments has worked well for me this past month.

Cheers Leo, you are a great guy.

Miss Attica Says:

November 24th, 2008, 3:58 am

Hi! I am afraid your former reader will be thinking “and he is modest to!!”. :-)

Of course you’ll have your amount of challenges, but the way you face them head on without making excuses for them is admirable. Which is one of the many reasons I read Zen Habits.

Thank you for sharing!

mulungu Says:

November 24th, 2008, 4:14 am

S*** I have to improve so much, but my butt.
Thanks for helping me moving him of the seat.

Take care and hello to your familly.

Michael | Go Success Now Says:

November 24th, 2008, 4:22 am

Of course nobody is perfect, everyone deals with bad habits, but all depends on determination and motivation you put to lose them.

I guess the blogger who doesn’t like Zen Habits must be jealous for not having a great blog as yours. It is not preaching you have here, there are topics that everyone is interested in, that’s why everyone comments and express ideas.

Michael

katrn Says:

November 24th, 2008, 4:47 am

Hi Leo,
Since 2 months I’m following your blog and follow you on Twitter. This is the first time I post a comment because there are always like a 100 comments before my attempt and I would only repeat at least one of them. So I don’t.

But this time I wan’t to react to show my respect.
I’m a runner too, mum of 4, vegetarian (and health freak) and ICT professional. I struggle with the same ‘imperfections’ as you do. Like many people, I think. I also have a lot of people around me who think I am perfect, but I’m not. That’s just an impression because you always try to be possitive and try to find ways to get things done.

Following your blog and advise is really supporting me and giving me ideas but I never thought you were perfect.

Andrew Weaver Says:

November 24th, 2008, 7:23 am

I appreciate what you do here. You’ve been an inspiration to many, including myself. I think those who think you portray yourself as “perfect” are not truly reading the blog on a regular basis. It’s clear you are “just a regular guy” trying to improve your life. You just happen to share your experiences with the rest of the world who will listen. There is NEVER anything wrong with sharing a little wisdom or information on your experiences.

Thanks for all that you do.

Shelley Says:

November 24th, 2008, 8:02 am

Love this post - and I love that you read MizFit, too.

I agree with everyone here, that a perfect blogger doesn’t make for a compelling read. I don’t read people’s blogs to find white picket fences and stepford children - and I don’t think you come across that way at all.

But I like that you took the time to step back and ask yourself whether you did, and shared with us on a human level your struggle. That’s why I read this site!

Great post!

Writer's Coin Says:

November 24th, 2008, 8:58 am

I’m bad with the patience one. I’m used to doing stuff as fast as I can, so if I’m doing something on the computer with my wife, I’m VERY impatient…I need to just take a deep breath and let it go….

Victoria FERAUGE Says:

November 24th, 2008, 9:03 am

Leio,

You may not be perfect but your blog has had a real and positive impact on my life. I’ve been reading your blog for quite awhile but last week I came across your 10 Tips to Quit Smoking. Something about it just flat out did it for me and I quit. Between this blog and the Stop Smoking forum I just might make it stick too. ;-)

Thanks.

Victoria

Lee Ann/Living Introverted Says:

November 24th, 2008, 9:09 am

Thanks for this! It’s a nice reminder that perfection is an illusion. All any of us can do is keep trying to make things better (whatever our definition of better is…), and to be kind to ourselves and others.

Dustin Williams Says:

November 24th, 2008, 10:00 am

Wow um yeah procrastination and patience. my own personall two P’s of the apocolypse. I struggle through the cycle of those two more often than i am becoming comfortable with. Many of the clients I see for career counseling get bogged down between these two devils, often they can be the biggest challenge of a job point. Good suggestions on overcoming the two but i wonder if there are any other options?

Neil Says:

November 24th, 2008, 10:27 am

Online reading, that one can suck your life away if you aren’t careful. Like you I get caught up in a subject and read it to death. Of course along the way I see another interesting link and explore it. This has been my biggest time waster to date and something I’m attempting to nip in the bud before my productivity and time evaporates.

Marie Says:

November 24th, 2008, 11:27 am

Leo,

Thanks for sharing your flaws…
I always tend to think that when I stray from the goal, I have failed and feel like giving up. But we all stray sometimes. Lack of patience, procrastination, overeating, too much time online, it’s somehow comforting to know that many of us share the same bad habits…
But as the saying goes: “Fall down seven times. Stand up eight.”

Logan Says:

November 24th, 2008, 12:01 pm

Thanks for sharing Leo!

Isn’t that funny? All of us try to be perfectly effective, productive and efficient. We try and we improve and still we don’t quite get there. We think we need to be more perfect as we already are.

But is it true that we need to be more perfect? Is it really true?

Actually we’re doing ok. Right here right now!

Harry Says:

November 24th, 2008, 12:48 pm

Whew! My scrolling finger is sore. Thought I’d never get through all the comments to leave mine!

As always, Leo, you are an inspiration to me. I’ve learned a lot from Zen to Done. You are my first feed on my reader followed by The Strobist. Guess what! My two favorite blogs share the same traits. Honesty and a sincere desire to share what you’ve learned with others.

My thanks.

Harry

Real Julie Says:

November 24th, 2008, 12:49 pm

Leo, this is type of post is totally what got me hooked to your blog to begin with. If someone preaches just how to do everything the right way, then the reader has a hard time relating and connecting. But your honesty (and kudos for posting the real ice cream eating Leo picture) makes me want to read more!

Thanks!

Tom Says:

November 24th, 2008, 12:50 pm

I think you hit on a very important point about not beating yourself up too much. I know whenever a fault or failure or imperfection of mine is pointed out I really take it to heart and it makes me feel like crap for the rest of the day, unless I really stop and say “Okay, so, I’ve made mistakes, not everybody likes me, but that’s okay.” Which is hard to do.

Katie - an out of shell experience Says:

November 24th, 2008, 13:21 pm

aww, Leo, you look so dejected in that picture! :( lol

Thank you for sharing this; we certainly all have these moments, and it’s encouraging to be reminded that people like you who are so inspirational have to struggle with these roadbumps too.

peter doonis Says:

November 24th, 2008, 13:22 pm

Leo, In my humble yet “as worthwhile as anybody elses opinion, you do much better than average, and probably even closer to “just right”. At least from my zen-dao way of looking at things (over achieving=bad, enough is enough, more does NOT= better. With 4-6 kids being home schooled (even though by your wife.. still in home), reading to keep abreast of what’s going on to help you write a VERY intelligent, informative and entertaining blog; working out of your home which ads to the temptation of over eating because the kitchen is “right there” and probably full of the treats your kids eat.

YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

I have been fitness training on and off, (mostly on), for 32 years, martial arts training for almost as long, vegetarian (philosophical/moral reasons) for 29 years, only one wonderfully perfectly super great 11 year old in the house (my son is just like me…only a little shorter) to distract me…and you I struggle every day to get things done. I’m sure I could take lessons from you in organization. Keep up the good work.

p.s. yours is the only blog that I consistently read, and although it is not the one that makes the MOST money (money is not everything) it is the one that is run the way that I admire most. I just started my blog a short time ago and I hope that one day, when I grow up, :) my blog is as good as yours.

If you ever get a free minute lol I would be flattered and greatly appreciative if you took a look at mine, if not I completely understand. In either case keep up YOUR good work and tell your son to keep practicing his kung-fu (If you ever make it to Vermont, USA stop by I’ll give him some free lessons).

Sincerely, Pete

http://www.PeterDoonis.com

“The Zen-Tao, Food, Artistic Photography, Health-Fitness & Personal Growth” Webzine

Micaela | Striving Green Blog Says:

November 24th, 2008, 13:23 pm

Leo - Thanks for your sincere post. You always have something refreshing to say!

Terry Says:

November 24th, 2008, 13:25 pm

Great post.

Having the courage to admit your failings is tough enough, but admitting them in public is a whole different level.

Good luck on your journey through life. After reading this, I’ve no doubt it will be an interesting and fulfilling one.

DiscoveredJoys Says:

November 24th, 2008, 13:31 pm

I don’t think that it is necessarily wrong to be impatient with kids, as long as the overall relationship is loving.

My lads are now great young men, through university, left home and in good partnerships. When they were very young they got shouted at occasionally (sometimes when it wasn’t truly merited), and a few rare times, smacked (gasp! horror!) when they did something particularly dumb, dangerous, or spiteful. As they got older shouting or smacking was no longer necessary.

Most children are usually good, and the early discipline teaches them at a very basic level that there are limits on what is acceptable behaviour. Your impatience teaches them some valuable lessons for their later life and happiness.

See, even when you fail, you win.

Yan Zhu Says:

November 24th, 2008, 13:48 pm

hey!

Since we are on this topic I’ll share my two cents. My biggest and only gripe about your posts is yours lists. I am not so sure that life and its improvement in various areas can be reduced down to a collection of lists - it is more than that.

It is not that once you hand that list to someone, everything will magically become better because they have these five things to follow.

Sometimes these lists let us amble zombie like through our lives, freeing us from responsibility for the quality of our own decision making. In one article I read the author keenly points out that “The Alternative, too frightening to contemplate, is to admit that problems are usually too complex to be reduced to one-size-fits all solutions, to train ourselves to do our own analysis.”

I wrote a posting about this once - http://tweakmylife.blogspot.com/2008/06/library-of-living-dead.html

Other than that, love what you are doing! :)

yan

Rebecca Says:

November 24th, 2008, 14:21 pm

Very nice….I think you nailed the key to it all.
A lot of people think things are black and white and it’s almost all gray.

The point of learning from your mistakes is the key.

The reason you are successful is that you see the results of your actions, re-evaluate and move on. You don’t dwell on it, you don’t beat yourself up.

A lot of people just get hung up on little glitches and never move on. This is the worst thing to do.

Thanks for all the fitness resources as well! :)

Kelly Says:

November 24th, 2008, 14:41 pm

Living a balanced life does not mean necessarily eliminating food or things from your life. If I want a chocolate chip cookie - I have one but just one not the whole plate.

Everything in moderation

Live for Improvement Says:

November 24th, 2008, 15:03 pm

Nobody is perfect. There will always be people who have their life together more than you, and there will always be other who aren’t as fortunate, as you.

The trick is to not listen to neigh-sayers, and focus on your own improvement, as mentioned my blog article “The Glass is Half Full”. Suround your self with positive people, because negative people will only bring you down.

-Dan Malone-

Andrew Choi Says:

November 24th, 2008, 16:06 pm

hahaha @pic

Salutis Says:

November 24th, 2008, 16:22 pm

Cool photo. :)

Andrew R Says:

November 24th, 2008, 16:40 pm

Hey Leo,

Thanks for the shout out!! I feel honored to be mentioned in the same sentence as those other health and fitness bloggers… they are my favs too!

Oh, and Ice cream is great… on your cheat day, of course!

By the way, I love the layout of your blog! Did you design it or is it a template? It’s really clean!

All the Best,

Andrew R
Go Healthy Go Fit

Leo Says:

November 24th, 2008, 18:25 pm

Wow, I leave to go on my 20-mile long run (and then fall asleep for 8 hours) and you guys come out with a ton of very encouraging posts!

I’m overwhelmed and touched by your responses. I can’t possibly respond to all of them, but just know that I’ve read them all and truly appreciate all the kind words and thoughts. You guys rock!

I’ll try to respond to a few:

@Andrew R: Keep up the good work, dude. I had the design done by a professional friend from scratch. I am in no way qualified to design a blog. :)

@Yan Zhu: I defnitely hear you about the lists. Others have complained about that too. Thing is, I write lists because 1) that’s how my mind works and 2) people can read them more easily when they’re in a hurry. See? I just wrote another list. :) Seriously, I write lists for everything and always have. I talk in lists. I think it’s just how my mind organizes itself. So that’s how I write, and I apologize if it gets tiring. I try to mix it up sometimes, when I remember, but in the end I will probably keep writing in lists simply because that’s who I am. I hope you’ll still keep reading!

@Katie: No, I’m not feeling dejected in the picture. Maybe just stuffed and tired? :) It was an enjoyable day with my family.

@Victoria Ferauge: CONGRATS on quitting smoking! That’s a great step, and I’m glad if I helped in some way. We both know there will be times when your willpower is tested, when you have tremendous urges (although at this point it’s all in your mind — your body is over the addiction) … when you question why you’re doing this in the first place. In that case, remember two things: 1) the urge will pass, I promise … do something to get yourself through it, like eat frozen grapes or exercise or deep breething; and 2) post to your quit smoking forum for help … your friends on there will help you through anything … don’t even attempt to smoke unless you’ve posted there first. Good luck my friend and call on me if you need help.

@Daniel Fackrell: Thanks so much for sharing those tips. They’re very useful!

And thanks to everyone else who has shared all their experiences — it helps to talk to others who have gone through the same thing!

Rachael B Says:

November 24th, 2008, 18:55 pm

This is all good stuff Leo…

I have just received my Certificate as a Personal Trainer.
My next step is University, to study Behavioral Science…my dream is to open a total wellness business, covering all aspects of health…physical and mental.
However, sometimes I feel like I am not the one to do this…I eat junk food sometimes. I am fit, but I do not train everyday. I wish to help others establish good mental health…but I have had a couple of bouts of depression over the years.
SO, it is wonderful to be reminded that no one is perfect and we all have our battles.
I never try to portray the image of perfection. I want to be real and authentic and sincere.
Thanks for the reminder that this is all ok.
Cheers, Rachael.

The Bold Life Says:

November 24th, 2008, 19:02 pm

Leo,
You are correct there are no perfect parents or kids! You can only do your best with what you know at the moment.

Parenting is the most challenging and most important job in the world and it sounds like your good at it!

Ron Towns Says:

November 24th, 2008, 19:34 pm

Here are the habits I can’t break: too much TV, not exercising enough, thinking negative thoughts. I’ve been using John Assaraf’s kit The Complete Vision Board Kit to help retrain my mind. The subconscious mind is much more powerful than most give it credit for! You may not realize, but your subconscious thoughts translate into habits- your conscious mind will actually try to execute your subconscious thoughts. So, in essence, changing your thoughts into more positive ones will create more productive habits. This way, you can better achieve your goals.

I use visualization every single day to calm my nerves and create focus around my goals and desired outcomes in life.

Another method I use on top of this is the use of a vision boards. Have you ever heard of them? They are images pasted on a board that represent your hopes, dreams, and goals. Studying these boards every days plants seeds of these goals within your subconscious mind.

John Assaraf does a better job of explaining this and showing you how to do it in his new book “The Complete Vision Board Kit.” I downloaded the free chapter here at http://www.TheVisionBoardKit.com.

Mark Sisson Says:

November 24th, 2008, 19:48 pm

Leo,

I’m honored to be included on your fitness list, and I suffer the same problem. For me, I’ll fall into the trap of enjoying a site so much that I feel compelled to read backwards through an entire archive. And that can eat up a chunk of a day when there’s still work to do!

It’s always a pleasure to find sincerety in a blog; great post.

Keith Says:

November 24th, 2008, 20:02 pm

Wagons were made to fall off of. I know the grammar is terrible. Mary’s Zero Days are a great way to put it. Discipline almost cannot exist without indiscipline. Almost every weightlifting diet and exercise advice recommends rest days and cheat days. Not anarchy days, though. Usually not a whole day, but a favorite food one day a week. Diabetic diets recommend a small treat every day. Just not enough to cause blood sugar damage. It’s almost a reward for behaving (the opposite is the punishment of being fat, sloppy and poor). I am most likely to cheat Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

Paula Says:

November 24th, 2008, 23:28 pm

Leo, I just have to say… I don’t find you preachy at all. I’m thrilled you share what you know, and what you’re aspiring to live into more. The best way to master something is to teach/guide someone else on it.

If we all waited to be perfect, nobody would have anything to say, now would we?

Keep inspiring the world–one post at a time!

Warmest,
Paula
http://www.mydailyjuiceaffirmations.com

Kat Eden Says:

November 25th, 2008, 1:57 am

Hi Leo
I have to say that out of your many fantastic posts, this one resonates with me the most. As a Personal Trainer I often have clients/readers ask me what I do to stay in shape or improve my health, and I think the most powerful messages are the ones whereby I admit my ‘human-ness’ (sorry, I am just making up words!) People are motivated not only by others success but by their weakness and flaws.
Love the ice-cream pic!
Kat

Alistair Says:

November 25th, 2008, 4:46 am

My two cents…

Leo, you’ve always come across (to me, at least) as an ordinary person, not as Mr Perfection. Just like most of the rest of us. So your advice, and that of the guests you invite to post, and the comments from all the others who read & respond, comes across as real, genuine, and experience based. And something that I could do, as a fellow ‘ordinary person’. That is why I like this site. That is why I read it, and check out the sites of your guests and many of the respondents. And why, seeing how much you and others can and have achieve, regular reading of this site is helping me get my own stuff back on track.

Little by little, every day.

Thanks for the good work so far, and keep it up.

E T Э Says:

November 25th, 2008, 8:41 am

dear LEO ,,
you have been an insipration for a lot of people ,.,.

by being the way you are .. , i ve bee n seving the web searching for some thing to catch my attention ,, & here comes ur blog :) ,, it was a life changing experience..
i havnt really changed a lot , but i have started to plan to at least !!.. starting gradual checking your previous posts , when ever i cant handle some thing !!..

& by this post ,, i came out to the point where ,,
ITS NOT THAT BIG DEAL ,,

the guy is normal,…. ;)
by writing this blog .. u have showed me that i can change & its actually acheivable for ppl like me because sinmply you & i quigte similar ,,, so whats the worries for ,,

I CAN DO IT ..

i d like to thank you ,, again & hope that i ll be abl;e to keep up with you & your blog ,,,

spare me some ice cream will ya ,, ;) haha ,, & cheer up soon ,,
salam

Wearing Mascara Says:

November 25th, 2008, 14:22 pm

Hi Leo!

I really enjoyed this post. It’s good to hear some “failures” and how you are overcoming them. Thank you very much!

Julie

Ruthie Fruit Says:

November 25th, 2008, 17:52 pm

It’s great that you’re posting about things you feel you fail at as well as how to do things right. It helps me because it makes me realise that we are all human, and I really need to give myself a break for not getting everything done. Sometimes I find feeling guilty prevents me even more from getting things done that if I would just let go.

MikeC Says:

November 25th, 2008, 19:22 pm

I got bad eating habits. I’m not fat but I’m no longer the thin guy I used to be. Snacks at the office are a hard temptation. I use it as an excuse to take a break. I think that will be my New Year Resolution. Bad snacking.

And you got six kids? I can’t imagine having one right now.

tzumeister Says:

November 25th, 2008, 20:54 pm

Leo, you are so far from a failure it’s comical!

the only ‘real’ failure is hopelessness.

me thinks you just needed material for a post -(which is alright). you’re not really out there seeking ‘approval’ from readers right?
always entertaining. thanks

Jonathan Says:

November 25th, 2008, 23:08 pm

Nice post! How could anyone ever mistake you for acting like you’re perfect? That blogger didn’t have their head on straight. You have always come across as very humble to me.

Myrko | AwakeBlogger Says:

November 26th, 2008, 15:58 pm

Regarding procrastination: I think if I really get the most important things done, then I’m really good off. It definately means I am making good progress into the direction I want to go.

This pattern is also ok if I get overwhelmed, with too much to do. If I make the right choices with my prios, getting the important things done is 90% of what is achievable.

Dimitri Nosarev Says:

November 27th, 2008, 12:19 pm

Hello Leo, great blog, I found you on ProBlogger. Good to see that there are other guys who are not perfect : )
I am searching for my six pack for almost a year, can you believe that?

Raymund Says:

November 28th, 2008, 1:34 am

Hi Leo!

I don’t know now how I ventured into your site but i think i found a great pearl. I have subsrcribed by email and will be looking forward to your posts. I will come back to read more of your posts which I think could have been written by me if only I had enough discipline, energy and commitment years ago. I will also try to visit the links in your site and maybe send you pizza one of these days.

May God bless you and your family!

dr aletta Says:

November 28th, 2008, 9:27 am

Leo, I admire your blog precisely because you manage that balance of offering to help others and coming across as struggling like all of us. You didn’t have to point out your foibles just because someone didn’t get your voice, but it says something very nice about you that the comment stung. And we got a thoughtful post for it. Thanks!

Rich Says:

December 1st, 2008, 7:05 am

That looks like a pretty good ice cream.What kind is it?

Regular guy Says:

December 10th, 2008, 12:46 pm

I do not agree with this blogger’s view that you are portraying yourself as perfect. You do mention e.g. habits you changed for the better and you do that in quite a positive way. Some people may be a little bit more cynical about things and hence think that you are showing yourself as perfect. This realistic optimism combined with your success in the activities you pursue, combined with a huge amount of links on all kinds of topics makes your blog as popular as it is. Keep on running such an inspiring blog.