The Simple Joy Of A Beating Heart

Greg Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 19:28 pm

Oh, was I glad to read that second part - that everything was eventually okay! Wow, quite a drama this article, I must admit. Nice one, Leo! ;-)

Greg Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 19:30 pm

Oh, I only now see it’s Eric’s article. So, all the praise from the comment above are actually meant for you, Eric! :))

Miguel de Luis Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 19:40 pm

Hi Eric,

Congratulations to you! :) I pray everything that little heart has only give you the first of many more gifts of happiness to come.

Brett Legree Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 19:44 pm

Eric,

I know where you were, as I’ve been there twice before (our oldest child is a surviving triplet, and we have another triplet set, all very healthy). That is why, as you say, we must be thankful for each day.

I wish you well - everything will be okay.

-Brett

Trevor Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 19:59 pm

Hi Eric,

I can only imagine how wonderful this would be in another 20 years from now where I am today. You really have to open your eyes to see the good stuff in the world.

Success Professor - Danny Gamache Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 20:10 pm

Hello Eric! Congratulations! My wife and I are also expecting our first (at the end of April). While we didn’t have the initial trials you have had, I can attest to your conclusions about the important things of life. Our new beginning also helped to push me towards my goals, increasing my WHY.

Thanks for sharing your story!

Tess Marshall Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 20:13 pm

Eric,

Once again your writing comes across engaging until the very end. Thanks for sharing.

Writer Dad Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 20:20 pm

Eric,

Congratulations! That must have been so harrowing to have to go through the first time, and such an unbelievable relief the second. I’m glad that everything worked out well for you. A fantastic father you will make.

Simple Sapien Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 20:38 pm

I am so glad everything was ok this time around. Good luck with your parenthood! I will definitely be appreciating those around me :) Maybe one day I will even have a kid… hopefully not any time soon… but one day, hehe. Great post, Eric. Thanks.

- Jack Rugile
Simple Sapien

JoAnn Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 20:49 pm

Congratulations, Eric! I cherish every day with my DD. She is is now a healthy, vibrant, sassy five year old! I had to fight hard to bring her to full term. My first pregnancy was not successful. May God bless your little bundle of joy and your family!

A Dawn Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 20:50 pm

Eric, welcome to a new World. A World filled with precious moments. Enjoy the precious bundle of joy that came from heaven.
Cheers,
A Dawn Journal
http://www.adawnjournal.com

Kathy Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 21:13 pm

Eric
Congratulations! Parenthood is awesome.

As common as it is, a miscarriage is still devastating. I too have been where you are. After my second pregnancy ended at 20 weeks, I was very nervous about the next one. None of my friends had experienced this loss and I felt so isolated. If not for a very special friend, I may have lost it for good. Unless your experience it, it is nearly impossible to describe the despair you feel when there is no heartbeat where there was one the visit before. Time does heal the pain, but doesn’t eliminate it.
To your point - celebrate and cherish the heartbeats for life is fleeting.

Amelia Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 21:13 pm

An excellent reminder, Eric! Many congratulations to your family. :)

Stephen - Balanced Existence Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 21:40 pm

It’s always great to have my perspective realigned back to what is important. Thankyou for that!

All the best to you and your family.

Tina Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 21:50 pm

Congratulations! We have been where you were, waiting for that heartbeat after being sideswiped by a miscarriage. The relief is indescribable.
Now hang on for the ride of your life ;)

Eric Hamm Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 22:02 pm

@Greg: Glad it got your heart pounding; in a good way. :-)

@Miguel: Thanks, Miguel. That really means a lot to me.

@Brett: Wow, Brett, you’ve already been through so much! I’m glad you are able to enjoy your four kids with the greatest of appreciation.

@Trevor: “You really have to open your eyes to see the good stuff in the world.”

Very true and well said!

@Danny: Congratulations to you as well! You guys are expecting just one month before Liz and I. How exciting! :-) Great input as well.

@Tess: Thanks, Tess. Glad you enjoyed it.

@Sean: Thanks for the kind words, Sean.

@Simple Sapien: Hey Jack, fatherhood will sneak up on you; or so I’ve been told. :-) Glad you enjoyed the post.

@JoAnn: Your DD sounds like a wonderful handful! Our hope is for a healthy, happy child as well.

@A Dawn: “Enjoy the precious bundle of joy that came from heaven.”

Will do! :-)

@Kathy: Wow! 20 weeks! That’s what Liz is concerned about. She knows that we’re doing better this go ’round, but until we carry to full term and hear the crying of our newborn, we know there’s always that chance that things will go awry. I’m glad you pulled through and are on the other side now.

@Amelia: Thanks! :-)

@Stephen: Thanks and I’m happy to be of assistance! :-)

@Tina: “Now hang on for the ride of your life ;)”

That’s what were planning on. Hopefully we’re well prepared.

Avani-Mehta Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 22:06 pm

Eric, congratulations. May god bless both of you and the baby.

Tabitha (From Single to Married) Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 22:16 pm

This post really struck me. We are going to start trying to have a family in January and we have been doing everything we can do get ready. I know there are the possibility of problems, but it’s easy to think that if I do what I can on my end, everything will be alright. I realize that’s not how it works of course, but I feel like I have to do something. I really worry about having a miscarriage and it scares me. But not enough to stop us from trying. I think that’s what it’s about - continuing to hope and put your trust in something bigger and like you said, remembering what is really important. I am very happy for you and wish you all the best in the months ahead!

Fit Bottomed Girl Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 22:54 pm

Eric, that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. A lot of my friends have had miscarriages, and while it doesn’t make it any easier, it’s better to know that others have gotten through it and come out with happy, healthy babies.

Sarah S Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 23:03 pm

I could have written the post myself. I had a miscarriage last December and also went through post-partum depression. I didn’t realize it could happen after miscarriage. It was the hardest thing I’ve been through in my life and put my life on hold for a while. Now I am better and am 16 weeks into a pregnancy. So far so good. It has certainly changed my perspective and has helped me appreciate this miracle even more. Best wishes to you and your wife.

Shamelle -TheEnhanceLife Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 23:04 pm

Hi Eric,
I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to write this. I applaud you for making this a very heart warming and inspiring story.

I am happy that you’ll were able to overcome the rough patch and try again. Congrads….

Shamelle

Sally Says:

November 3rd, 2008, 23:50 pm

I read this and felt a tear trickle down my face remembering that sense of silence I felt in the same situation. You captured the moment perfectly.

Thanks for the reminder that we do need to remember something as unconscious and remarkable as a heartbeat.

johnlazy Says:

November 4th, 2008, 1:28 am

wow! its amazing how life is created and the joy it brings.

Giyen Says:

November 4th, 2008, 2:59 am

Happy news indeed! I just found out my best friend’s baby is a girl. I am thrilled to death!

Best Wishes,
Giyen

Vincent Says:

November 4th, 2008, 4:39 am

Thanks for the reminder Eric. We should appreciate the simple beauty in life instead of thinking about what we lack. By doing this, we will definitely have a happier life.

Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

Valeria | TimelessLessons Says:

November 4th, 2008, 4:52 am

Congratulations Eric! Now that’s what I call a realignment of perspective. All the best to you and your family.

G.A.H. Says:

November 4th, 2008, 6:08 am

I’m glad for your good outcome this time, Eric.

My wife and I lost our full-term daughter on the day of her birth. Just before delivery, she went into cardiac arrest. The doctors worked in a frenzy to do an emergency c-section, but they couldn’t resuscitate.

They brought me my beautiful girl to hold, but she was dead … gone before I got to see her out of the womb. I’d talked to her every day in-utero, but I never got to say a word to her on this side of things.

We were never able to concieve after that, because my wife’s reproductive system was damaged in the emergency procedure (unbeknownst to us). After five years of disappointment and fading hopes, we finally learned this spring that we’ll never have biological children.

Just last night, our hopes to adopt received a blow when we found out that our chosen agency’s policies prohibits us from adopting.

They say we’re too old.

I’m only 43, Eric.

I’d say you have much to be thankful for, and I’m glad you are. I wish you all the best.

Martin Wildam Says:

November 4th, 2008, 8:25 am

Congratulations also from me - we also share your experiences. And yes, we should remind to what truly matters - for reducing stress and for the sake of our loved ones.

http://1-2-solved.blogspot.com/2008/08/information-overflow.html

http://1-2-solved.blogspot.com/2008/08/who-cares.html

Eric Hamm Says:

November 4th, 2008, 8:57 am

@Avani-Mehta: Thank you so much for the kind words!

@Tabitha: Well said. We don’t have control over the outcome, but we certainly shouldn’t let that stop us from putting our best foot forward and hoping for the best. I hope the best for you and your husband.

@Fit Bottomed Girl: “…it’s better to know that others have gotten through it and come out with happy, healthy babies.”

Absolutely! This is one of the things that gave Liz hop.

@Sarah: Wow! It sounds like we’re on the same roller coaster ride. Here’s to two healthy little babies in less than nine months time! :-)

@Shamelle: Thanks. It was a little tough to get out the words when I was reliving the first ‘ultrasound moment’, but know that I had a happy ending to share really helped. I know we’re not out of the woods yet, but things are looking much better than our first go ’round.

@Sally: I’m glad you connected with it. We were certainly blown away with how many couples/women have gone through this.

@johnlazy: “its amazing how life is created and the joy it brings.”

Isn’t it, though!

Giyen: Congratulations!

@Vincent: “We should appreciate the simple beauty in life instead of thinking about what we lack. By doing this, we will definitely have a happier life.”

Well said!

@Valeria: Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed story. :-)

@G.A.H.: WOW! That’s awful! I’m SO sorry you and your wife have had to go through all of that. And to be left with nothing up to this point. I was just telling my wife about your story and she was blow away.

The first thing she said was, “43 is too old?” And then followed by commenting about how hard that must be for you wife, especially. You guys will be in our prayers and we hope that one day you and your wife will be able to start a family, one way or another. Eric.

gayle Says:

November 4th, 2008, 9:07 am

I, too, was shocked at how many people experienced this . You don’t know until you, unfortunately, join the club.

I was 12 weeks along when it happened, in the middle of a blizzard. Far enough long that we’d blabbed to everyone. Coming back to work after it happened… many people didn’t know and still, kindly, asked. Like daggers every time.

I am very happy to read that your experience came out well the second time. Ours did, too… our son turned 11 last month.

Congratulations!

Betsy Wuebker Says:

November 4th, 2008, 10:00 am

Hi Eric - what a lovely story, so poignantly painful in the beginning and so joyful! I think there is a reason in an ultrasound that the beating heart looks like a twinkling star. Mazel tov!

My twins were born at 24 weeks, 21 years ago today. We lost the oldest boy after ten hours, and the younger son had many complications that aren’t problems today with technology and medical knowledge. But he is a man today. The time goes fast.

Neil Says:

November 4th, 2008, 10:09 am

Eric congratulations! Fatherhood is a wonderful thing. My wife and I experienced a miscarriage on our first attempt and it was devestating. I felt emotionally hollow afterwards. However, we’ve been blessed with a wonderful son who’s just turned 3 months.

You are bang on when you mention enjoying today, the moment and the love of those around us.

FoNo Says:

November 4th, 2008, 10:32 am

You are really great writter.

a new friend from China.

Kay Says:

November 4th, 2008, 11:03 am

We lost four babies to miscarraige and it never got any easier each time. With my fifth pregnancy, we had a threatened miscarraige at 6 weeks, again at 10, started having contractions at 17 weeks, ended up in the hospital at 27 weeks with complications, and finally gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby girl at 38 weeks.

After having gone through that, I can attest to the fact that your priorities change indeed. We have been greatly blessed. I don’t know why some make it and some don’t, but your baby will come.

God bless you, your wife, and baby. Enjoy all the little moments.

Jonathan Mead Says:

November 4th, 2008, 11:05 am

Congratulations Eric! That’s really awesome.

On a side note, miscarriage is very normal. It’s actually a very good thing too. If the woman’s body did not detect something was wrong with the pregnancy and abort the child, the baby could be born with serious illnesses or deformities. It’s nature’s way of making sure that a child is born in good health. =)

Adrilia Says:

November 4th, 2008, 11:35 am

Thank you, Eric, for the courage in sharing this story and reminding us to celebrate life, people and events as the true miracles they are. All the best to you and your family!

dr aletta Says:

November 4th, 2008, 11:37 am

Thank you, Eric, for a beautiful, moving story. My daughter was born three weeks early. Even at one pound thirteen ounces she was strong and she grew. Then one night, at two years old, she became stiff, glassy eyed and unresponsive. Terrified, we called 911. As we waited for the paramedics, John paced the floor with her and I prayed, “Please God, after all we’ve been through, now that we know her, you wouldn’t take her away, please God.”

It turned out to be a febrile seizure http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/febrile_seizures/detail_febrile_seizures.htm#120733111. Not uncommon, one in twenty-five children will have one, it is a frightening but usually benign condition. Relieved and angry at the same time I thought as you did, “…that couples need to be aware that it CAN happen and there’s a decent chance it will.”

dr aletta Says:

November 4th, 2008, 11:50 am

Thank you, Eric, for a beautifully told story that many of us can relate to. My daughter was born three months early. At one pound thirteen ounces she was strong and grew. When she was two years old one night she became stiff, glassy eyed and non-responsive. Terrified, we called 911. While we waited decades for the paramedics, John paced the floor with her and I prayed, “Please God, after all we’ve been through, now that we know her, you wouldn’t take her away, please God.”

It turned out to be a febrile seizure. Not uncommon, one out of every twenty-five children will have one. The presentation is horrifying to parents but usually benign to the child. Relieved and angry at the same time, I thought as you do “…that couples need to be aware that it CAN happen and there’s a decent chance it will.”

PS. Today my daughter is a robust, soccer playing, honors’ list thirteen year old.

Beth Says:

November 4th, 2008, 11:56 am

Eric,
I’ve been through the same loss you describe and my heart goes out to you and your wife. Rejoicing in another pregnancy can be scary after a loss like that, so I applaud you for embracing it in such a positive way. I was finally blessed with a happy baby boy who is now 4 years old. I wish the same joy and chaos for you - parenthood is amazing! :)

Sharon Says:

November 4th, 2008, 12:12 pm

Sounds like it’s been quite a journey. I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smooth for you guys. We dealt with an irregular heart beat for a while with our pregnancy and although that has since resolved itself, the journey continues to be a tough one. Our first child was a preemie, so it’s been stressful as the days go by and we wonder if this one too will be born early and sick like our last one was. And I agree…nobody ever talks about all the issues that can happen with a pregnancy, which makes it even more scary when something does happen!!

sarah hudson Says:

November 4th, 2008, 13:37 pm

Eric, this is an amazing reminder. Thank you for sharing your story and… CONGRATULATIONS! :)

Pam Says:

November 4th, 2008, 13:42 pm

The timing of this article is amazing to say the least. Last Tuesday, that’s right a week ago, I found out I had a missed miscarriage, which means that the baby dies but your body keeps trying to keep the pregnancy going as if nothing is wrong. I was and still am devastated. I have 3 beautiful girls, all with absolutely no complications, so this was a complete shock. It happened to other people, but not to me. Then everyone, including my mom, had some story about miscarriage. Like they were all waiting to share it until I went through it myself. My mom’s shocked me because it took her 5 days of me going through it before she said anything. Wow. Like I said the timing of the article is what gets me. I thought this morning if I avoided the subject I could start healing. Since then, I’ve had phone calls and emails that won’t let me avoid the subject. I can’t skip the grieving process, can I? Do I want to?

Thanks for your touching story Eric. I’m glad to hear that all is going well now.

Ian Says:

November 4th, 2008, 14:38 pm

Eric,

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I hope that everything goes well for you. I did not realize how common miscarriages were before I read this.

On the topic of gratitude and thankfulness, I automatically e-mail and SMS myself a reminder from Backpack every Tuesday. It reads:

“There are things in life that you shouldn’t take for granted.”

This serves as a simple reminder not to get caught up in unimportant worries and to take a moment and let a loved one know that I’ve been thinking about them.

Ron towns Says:

November 4th, 2008, 14:52 pm

Thanks you for sharing your story. Unbelievable the amount of miscarriages - 1 our of every 4! You’d love John Assaraf’s new book The Complete Vision Board Kit… fits well with this conversation about life… check it out http://www.TheVisionBoardKit.com

Beth Says:

November 4th, 2008, 16:03 pm

Thanks so much for this post. I’m actually going through the exact same thing right now. Our first pregnancy was a set of twins, who never developed beating hearts and whom we miscarried- they stopped developing at 6 weeks, but we didn’t miscarry until 8. We’re now on our second official pregnancy (we had another chemical pregnancy that we didn’t realize was a pregnancy until after it was over)… anyway, we saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks, and again at just over 8. I’m still pretty nervous, but I know exactly how it feels to see that heartbeart after our first miscarriage.

Chad Levitt Says:

November 4th, 2008, 16:55 pm

Beautiful article!

Things get taken away from us in life — that’s a given, but we usually don’t learn that until we start losing stuff or come close. This lesson is very painful.

We can all benefit from slowing down once in awhile. Many times we don’t take the time to appreciate the important things in life leaving us feeling unfulfilled. If we learn to schedule our “non-negotiables” first (i.e. breakfast with kids, date night, family dinner, workouts, home by 5, etc.) we can begin to live with purpose by doing what is truly important to us.

Eric Hamm Says:

November 4th, 2008, 17:29 pm

@gayle: “…many people didn’t know and still, kindly, asked. Like daggers every time.”

I mentioned your comment to Liz and her words were, “Exactly!”

@Betsy: Thanks for sharing you encouraging story. I know it must have been hard to loose the one, but I’m glad you came out with a child to love and care for.

@Neil: Thanks! Congrats on the 3 month old! You comment is right on.

@FoNo: Thanks!

@Kay: Thanks, Kay, for the kind words. Wow, 4 miscarriages! Liz and I have wondered if a second miscarriage would be any easier to deal with than the first one. It makes sense that the pain would still be present.

@Jonathan: Thanks! We’ve had others tell us what you mention in your comment and we completely believe it to be true. I appreciate you sharing it with us.

@Adrilia: I appreciate that and am glad you enjoyed the content.

@dr aleeta: Wow, that sounds like a terrifying experience. I can’t image your fear of the unknown in those moments. I’m glad it all worked out in the end. On the one hand you’re glad it was nothing critical and yet on the other hand you are thinking, “Why did we have to go through that in the first place?”

@Beth: “I was finally blessed with a happy baby boy who is now 4 years old.”

I’m so glad to hear that. We’re definitely looking forward to life as parents.

@Sharon: Sounds like you’ve been through your share of scares and stress. I appreciate you sharing.

@sarah: Thanks and your welcome! :-)

@Pam: It’s interesting that you bring this up because Liz’s was also a missed miscarriage. The doctor thinks that the baby stopped developing around 8 weeks or so, but she didn’t show any signs of problems until 12 weeks when she started bleeding.

Hang in there, you’ll get through it. I’m sorry so many people waited to tell you their stories. It took Liz a few months to move past the initial sadness and frustration, but time does heal. I wish you the best. :-)

@Ian: I’m glad you got something out of the post. That message idea sounds like a great way to stay focused on those ‘more important’ things. Thanks for sharing it with us.

@Ron: Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I’ve have to check it out.

@Beth: I was just mentioning to Pam that we went through the same kind of experience.

We’re also still nervous. We always follow words of anticipation with something like, “but we’re not out of the woods yet”. I think we’re just afraid of getting our hopes up again and feeling the paid of disappointment. But I guess there’s nothing you can do about that.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

@Chad: Great addition to the comments Chad. Thanks for sharing! Eric.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Computer Guy Says:

November 4th, 2008, 18:29 pm

Congrats Eric! I’ve known many who have been through your situation and it can be very traumatic. I’m glad things worked out for you two this time!

kiki Says:

November 4th, 2008, 21:35 pm

aww! Congratulations!

Glee Girl Says:

November 4th, 2008, 22:53 pm

That brought a tear to my eye, Eric. Beautiful.

Perspective is a wonderful thing.

All the best to you and your wife this time around.

Evita Says:

November 4th, 2008, 23:06 pm

Eric - that is fantastic news! It is so special too that you have shared here and with so many people worldwide - the positive conscious energy can only benefit that precious baby!

Anbusivam Says:

November 4th, 2008, 23:39 pm

Hearty Congratulations, Eric. May the cute little one bring in more and more joy and happiness in your life. It’s nice to read your article. Yes, when we know the worst thing that can happen, I think our mind gets ready to handle that, incase if it happens. If not as you said that it would have atleast softened the blow.

Thank you Leo for bringing in Eric as our guest.

-Anbusivam

Juliet Says:

November 5th, 2008, 2:02 am

Yes, celebrate life! My latest blog is all about this ;)

Juliet Says:

November 5th, 2008, 2:17 am

Hello again,

I wasn’t sure whether or not to write about this because it is much too soon for me, but here goes.

This morning I posted that blog about celebrating life.
Soon after, I received a message that a very good friend of mine has cancer.
And not so much later I read your post.

I’m just not sure what to think…or feel.

Lives arriving and lives leaving.

Juliet

RiffKirt Says:

November 5th, 2008, 4:59 am

Congratulations!!!

I have a beautiful 17 month old son and never had to experience anything that you have or the other readers. It amazes me how strong and wonderful people can be.

Maybe it would be a good time for a Zen article on equipment that you need for a baby. We bought the bare minimum (cot, pushchair and a few clothes) but I have now met others mums who seemed to have gone slightly mad and filled their houses with the most bizarre equipment that relatives, magazines, peer pressure made they feel they needed to be good parents.

As the article says a beating heart is enough - matching outfits, all terrain pushchairs etc are all unnecessary.

Good Luck for the future! Appreciate your ability to lie in bed now as my son thinks silly O’clock is when you have to get up!

Ovidiu - GuitarFlame.com Says:

November 5th, 2008, 8:39 am

Great article, maybe it touches me a bit more since my wife is 12 weeks pregnant and I am going through some similar phases, asking myself what is going to be, how things will go for me from now on…

Tiko|Peace-Joy-Love Says:

November 5th, 2008, 10:49 am

Congratulations!! :)

Evelyn Lim Says:

November 5th, 2008, 10:57 am

Congratulations!!! As a mother to two girls, your post reminded me of how excited I was some years back. Thanks for triggering so many happy memories in me!

Stephen Smith Says:

November 5th, 2008, 11:10 am

Congrats on the beating heart Eric, my lovely bride and I had a miscarriage 3 years ago and it took her a long time to be able to look at a baby in a stroller without her eyes welling up with tears.
Seeing her hurt like that was very hard for me, and I am still careful about the way we talk about families. Our own friends and family still ask us, from time to time, when we are going to have kids. I just tell them it’s in God’s hands now.
Knowing that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage is small comfort to those who experience it at that time, but the knowledge does help heal as time goes by.
Thank you for sharing such a moving post.

Kim McGinnis Says:

November 5th, 2008, 11:38 am

Eric,
Your post is a beautiful reminder to be grateful for what we have. When we are grateful our hearts are open,and the Universe responds to our openness by giving us more.

The hard part is focusing on what we have (and being for grateful for that), in the midst of wanting something that seems to elude us.

Practice makes perfect. Again thank you for sharing your story, it definitely opened up my heart a bit more - what a great way to start the day!

Rayne Says:

November 5th, 2008, 16:12 pm

I’m so sorry for your loss but congratulations on your current pregnancy.

While I myself didn’t have to experience a miscarriage, I knew going in how common it was and truly lived in fear of it happening to me. I cried and prayed everyday asking God to let me keep my baby. And after she was born, I cried and prayed everyday for Him to not take her away while she slept. She turned 2 years old a few weeks ago and she is my life. I honestly don’t even remember how I spent my days before she arrived.

I pray your wife has a healthier pregnancy this time around and can really enjoy it instead of spending the term worrying.

Writer Girl Says:

November 5th, 2008, 16:18 pm

Bloggers are set to blog for peace November 6, 2008. Don’t miss it!
BlogBlast For Peace ~ How To Participate!

Eric Hamm Says:

November 5th, 2008, 21:33 pm

@Matt: Thanks, Matt!

@kiki: Thanks!

@Glee Girl: I’m glad it touched you so deeply.

“Perspective is a wonderful thing.”

Isn’t it though?!

@Evita: I was thankful to have the opportunity. Thanks.

@Anbusivam: Thanks! I appreciate the kind words.

@Juliet: Will do! My dad past away from cancer so that’s an issue that’s close to my heart. I feel for your friend.

@RiffKirt: I like your ideas. I think they’d be definitely worth the post time.

@Ovidiu: I know, it can be scary. I hope the best for you guys!

@Tiko: Thanks!

@Evelyn: It was my pleasure.

@Stephen: That’s really tough. Time does heal, but the pain is always there, easily resurfaced. Hang in there.

@Kim: I’m glad you enjoyed the post and I appreciate your insight.

@Rayne: I know, people keep telling us that the anxiety is always one ‘possible incident’ away. But like you’re revealing in your comment, it’s all worth it.

@Writer Girl: Thanks for the heads up.

kafeier Says:

November 6th, 2008, 3:59 am

I’m glad you are. I wish you all the best.

Diane Grateful Mom Says:

November 6th, 2008, 11:43 am

I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again. You don’t know what love is until you have a child! The entire experience is miraculous! I’ve been dazzled by my son for the past 11 years.

GM Says:

November 6th, 2008, 12:33 pm

Eric,

Thanks for sharing! My wife had three miscarriages before and she is 20 weeks pregnant now. I can understand what you guys went through and wish you all the best. It helps to be have positive thoughts under these circumstances!

Eric Hamm Says:

November 7th, 2008, 10:10 am

@kafeier: Thanks!

@Diane: “You don’t know what love is until you have a child!”

This is something we’ve been told many times. Liz and I certainly look forward to the experience.

@GM: So you guys are feeling it too. I certainly hope the best and that this time is absolutely perfect every step of the way. Or at least healthy and happy in the end.

“It helps to be have positive thoughts under these circumstances!”

I’m glad you were positively effected by my words and our experience. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :-) Eric.

Kay Says:

November 9th, 2008, 22:36 pm

The same thing happened to me. At 12 weeks I had a miscarriage and it was a terrible shock. I got pregnant again very quickly but didn’t really believe I would have a baby until about week 14. Then, time went by. At 20 weeks I went through a period of thinking something was wrong genetically. Something must be wrong for me, yes ME, to have had a miscarriage. Nobody bothered to do even a slight investigation as to why I had a miscarriage. Well, at week 34 my life ended along with my baby Lauren who was stillborn. From that moment on, I started a new life. It is now 6.5yrs later and there are moments when I could repeat word-for-word things that were said to me that day. I went on to have … 3 more children .. all of whom survived with the help of clexane (an anti-blood clotting drug). Unfortunately I had to diagnose myself from researching pregnancy loss on the internet. The doctors, midwifes, nurses and pretty much everyone around me were useless. I was on my own. Has this whole experience changed me for the better? Do I savour each moment like it was my last? Yes, I have changed but not all for the better. I catastrophize things i.e. panic madly if I lose my kids in the park etc. No, I mean hysterical panic not just “normal mother panic”. Counselling? Nope. Doctors let me down before, they wont help me now either. Besides I am too independent and had a bit of counselling at the hospital which was useless and totally impractical. However, above all I am grateful for my kids and live in the moment now. Before I was always in the future….. I still think some days “Me? How could that have happened to me?”

Eric Hamm Says:

November 9th, 2008, 22:52 pm

Wow, Kay, I don’t what to say. You’ve been through a whole lot more than most moms ever will with their children. I know that traumatic experiences like these have a tendency to make us pessimistic about life, and why not? Life’s already let you down many times in the past, why should it stop now? I here you. When I lost my father (at 55) to cancer, I struggled (still do sometimes) with anxiety and fear of the future. I truly believe that losing a child is many times worse that losing a father, but I can at least understand to some degree.

Hang in there and enjoy your kids, as you already are. Eric.

Andrea Says:

November 24th, 2008, 0:06 am

I just wanted to say that I too was one of those people who have had to endure the sheer terror of awaiting the results of a scan that you already deep-down know what the doctor is about to tell you.

Our daughter was stillborn and had passed away in the womb a week before her due date. It is the single hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life and I can completely empathise with you and your partner and the weeks of sorrow you have to deal with.

I too am continually amazed at the amount of people that come forwards with similar tales of sadness, but in all cases, such as your own the story ends very happily.

We have two more daughters now, 2 and 3, and those pregnancies have probably been the least enjoyable and most anxious times in our lives, but the end result is worth every minute!

Human beings are amazingly resilient creatures, I know this now :-)

Eric Hamm Says:

November 24th, 2008, 7:34 am

@Andrea: I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, but I really appreciate you sharing that with us. And you’re definitely right; humans are very resiliant creatures! Eric.