For number one, you should always forgive and move on because these people aren’t worth knowing and aren’t worth wasting your time. If you don’t let go – it will haunt you, it will affect future potential great relationships because you won’t be as ‘trusting’ as you used to be. If this happens then you let that one DH win.

For two, well that’s obvious – why get het up about someone hurting you if they don’t know they are doing it? Simply inform them and move on (if they continue then they move in catergory number one) – you can’t blame someone for not having empathy.

Number three is slightly harder but again -you trust because a relationship without trust is not a good one. What are your other options? My partner has broken my trust a few times as I’ve done with him but he has never had to earn it back – it’s always there to be picked up again because I always trust instantly that he will never hurt me again. Of course he will because we’re human and humans make mistakes but there’s no point wasting time going through this whole ‘I don’t know if I can trust you phase’ – if you can’t let go and forget you’ll only going to torture (including yourself) everyone invovled. Wouldn’t you much rather skip to the good times?

In the long run, it is a much greater sign of love to give trust then to make someone earn it back – because granted it takes a great deal of strength – but because of that, in my relationships (parents, partner, friends etc) I get alot more respect back and they are less likely to break it again because they figure I’m someone worth keeping around.

And if you are having trouble re-trusting someone just think, you might wake up tomorrow – they might not. Horrible thought but it helps but things into perspective.

There is a person who does not want me in their life (and sometimes, vice versa). Fortunately, there is nothing that we can do as our situation is pretty concrete. Now, every so often, we have good moments but it’s mostly sour or silent.

What I have learned from this experience is ACCEPTANCE. This is a big component to forgiveness. Sometimes, we cant change our immediate situations nor do we have the luxury of disposing of the people who hurt us.

I’m still learning to forgive myself for not making things work and to accept that in time things will change.

I am absolutely committed to finding a solution, it’s now on a trial and error basis (a lot of error). But if one is willing then surely, one day there must be a way!

Thanks again.

It is like one door closes for another one to open but I am a firm believer never burn bridges just take detours.

Cool article. I am here because Jonathan recommended this article.It is one of the better ones I have read on here recently.
Cheers

But then like what I have said, it took me around 2 months to realize that I was wallowing with my hatred and anger towards these people who just turned my life upside down. hehehehe… But the point is that I did what I have to do – forgive!!! It is hard to do that most especially when your ego and pride has been stepped upon by people you didn’t even expect to hurt you.

It is really not easy to let go and forgive those people who have hurt you but its true that it can kill you because you focus too much on what happened instead of taking necessary actions as to how you will free yourself from all of it.

Well obviously I am guilty of that but see it also shed light on me. I realized that my life is turning upside down and I am beginning to feel that I am not happy anymore to the extent that I push other people away because I cannot seem to get things in order. So I decided to make a move and focus on my life – even if I need to be selfish – just to make things right the way they used to be. Now, instead of focusing on them, I started focusing on ME. Just like some of the points you said in the article, it is true that in one way or another, we ourselves may also have done our part or share as to why the person did that. It is easy to point fingers on others and blame everything on another when we never saw our own selves as also being one of the culprits because we allowed it to happen so it is safe that we are not victims to another’s decisions or choices. This is one of the things that we people fail to do.

From that I saw where I needed to focus on. Its true that we cannot change another and we cannot question why they did this and that and the only way to change ourselves is by looking at ourselves and what we can do to make ourselves and our lives better. The lessons that we learned should not be forgotten because it will help us in the future to prevent situations from happening again.

It may be hard in the start but I believe that will discipline and self motivation it will be easier to let go and forgive. Not at once, but one at a time. Because all things have their own time and it will happen when it is the right time, with God’s grace, all things will be just fine.

And lastly, it is better to forgive and forget – this does not mean that you forget what the other person did but it means that you have learned to let go of what had happened. I firmly believe that when you suffered, the other person did too. Hehe… So I guess after all it is still a fair deal…

Why does a woman stay with a man who abuses her?
Because she forgives him.