“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” ~Woody Allen

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Often you’ll read an article called “The Seven Deadly Sins of” (fill in your topic here). But when it comes to changing habits, there aren’t Seven Deadly Sins.

There’s just one.

You can do a lot of things wrong when you’re trying to form a new habit — just jumping into it without a plan, not having public accountability, not having the right support, etc. But there’s just one thing you can do wrong that will cause the habit change to absolutely fail.

The One Deadly Sin of Habit Change?

Not doing the habit.

If you don’t do it, it won’t become a habit. As obvious as that may sound, too many people fail at this one thing. They start the exercise habit (or flossing habit, or filing their papers habit, or waking early habit) and they do it with enthusiasm for a week or two, and then they stop. For whatever reason — work, or family problems, or other interests taking over.

Life gets in the way, right? Well sure, but if you’re not doing the habit, the habit will never form. If you want to form the habit, you have to do it regularly.

Let’s repeat that, and then talk about how to actually do it: If you want to form the habit, you have to do the habit regularly.

That’s how habits form. You do it one day, then the next, then the next, then the next, right after your habit trigger. Soon, it becomes so ingrained that … it’s a habit.

How To Avoid the Deadly Sin
So it’s easy to state the blindingly obvious, but it’s harder to put it into practice, right?

Sure. So I’m here to help. Some tips for avoiding the One Deadly Sin:

• Just start. Not feeling like doing the habit today? Tell yourself all you have to do is take the 1st step. Usually the 2nd step will follow, but if not, at the very least you got started. And that’s what matters most.
• Do it, no matter how small. Need to exercise but don’t have much energy? Do it for a few minutes at least. Need to meditate? Three minutes will do.
• Do it, no matter how badly. Want to form the habit of blogging? Write a quick and dirty post that takes five minutes of writing, no proofreading or formatting. Quality doesn’t matter when you’re forming habits — doing it matters.
• If you fail, don’t beat yourself up – do it the next day. Let’s be clear: missing one day won’t kill your habit. Feeling discouraged about missing one day, and then missing the next and the next, is what will kill the habit. So let go of the guilt and just get back on your horse. Start again, immediately.
• If you don’t do it the next day, do it the day after. If you miss two days, don’t let yourself miss a third.
• Figure out what’s stopping you. If you find yourself struggling and missing a day or two, think about why. What’s getting in the way? How can you adjust for that?
• Plan ahead. Life gets in the way, but if you know something’s coming up, think ahead and be sure to get your habit in.
• Engineer success. Knock down the barriers and set it up so it’s harder to fail than to actually do the habit. Public accountability is a good way to do that.

In the end, all that matters is doing it. So go do it already.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~Aristotle

If you liked this article, please bookmark it on Delicious or share on Twitter. Thanks, my peeps.

Want more? Read my site on habit changes, 6 Changes, or check out my book, The Power of Less.

‘Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.’ ~ Spanish Proverb

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Let’s face it: most of us fail when it comes to sticking to resolutions — so much so that many people swear never to make resolutions again.

And yet the rest of us are eternally hopeful when the New Year comes around, believing without any credible evidence that we can improve our lives, that change is possible, that we’re not going to be stuck in the same old rut again this year.

I’m here to tell you that you can do it. It’s possible. I’ll show you how.

The Problem with Most Resolutions
While I love the optimism of New Year’s Resolutions, unfortunately, the enthusiasm and hope often fades within weeks, and our efforts at self improvement come to a whimpering end.

New Year’s Resolutions usually fail because of a combination of some of these reasons:

• We try to do too many resolutions at once, and that spreads our focus and energies too thin. It’s much less effective to do many habits at once (read more).
• We only have a certain amount of enthusiasm and motivation, and it runs out because we try to do too much, too soon. We spend all that energy in the beginning and then run out of steam.
• We try to do really tough habits right away, which means it’s difficult and we become overwhelmed or intimidated by the difficulty and quit.
• We try to be “disciplined” and do very unpleasant habits, but our nature won’t allow that to last for long. If we really don’t want to do something, we won’t be able to force ourselves to do it for long.
• Life gets in the way. Things come up unexpectedly that get in the way of us sticking with a habit.
• Resolutions are often vague — I’m going to exercise! — but don’t contain a concrete action plan and don’t use proven habit techniques. That’s a recipe for failure.

There are other reasons, but the ones above are easily sufficient to stop resolutions from succeeding.

The 6 Changes Method
So what are we to do? I’ve created the 6 Changes Method, along with a new site called 6Changes.com, to solve these problems:

• We only focus on one habit change at a time, so our focus and energies aren’t spread thinly.
• We implement the habit changes gradually, so we don’t run out of steam.
• We start out really, really easily, so it isn’t intimidating.
• We focus on enjoyable activities, so we don’t need “discipline”.
• We have two months to do the habit change, so if something comes up, it’s but a small bump in the road. And because we’re publicly committed, we’re going to get back on track.
• We have a very specific plan with actions built in, using proven habit change techniques.

If you stick with the method, you’ll do much better than you’ve done in the past with New Year’s Resolutions. You’ll focus on creating long-lasting habits rather than trying to reach a short-term goal that fails. You’ll maintain your enthusiasm for longer and not become overwhelmed by the difficulty of change. You’ll have habits that will change your life, and that’s no small feat.

The Method
So how does the 6 Changes method work?

It’s simple:

1. Pick 6 habits for 2010.
2. Pick 1 of the 6 habits to start with.
3. Commit as publicly as possible to creating this new habit in 2 months.
4. Break the habit into 8 baby steps, starting with a ridiculously easy step. Example: if you want to floss, the first step is just to get out a piece of floss at the same time each night.
5. Choose a trigger for your habit – something already in your routine that will immediately precede the habit. Examples: eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, showering, waking up, arriving at the office, leaving the office, getting home in the evening.
6. Do the 1st, really easy baby step for one week, right after the trigger. Post your progress publicly. (Read more.)
7. Each week, move on to a slightly harder step. You’ll want to progress faster, but don’t. You’re building a new habit. Repeat this until you’ve done 8 weeks.

You now have a new habit! Commit to Habit No. 2 and repeat the process.

Further Reading
Read more on creating your new habits for the New Year:

1. Suggest habits. Which six will you choose? Some recommendations.
2. The Importance of Public Accountability. Why it’s one of the foundations of the method, and how to do it.
3. What’s a Trigger & Why Is It So Important? Another key to the method.
4. Why You Should Do Only One Habit at a Time. Answers one of the most common questions people have about the method.
5. How to Be Patient as Your Habit Develops. It’s not easy to do it this slowly, but here’s how it works and how to do it.
6. The Art of the Start of a Habit. Why starting is so hard and how this method overcomes it.
7. How to Kick a Bad Habit. Suggested method that has worked for me in the past.
8. How to Form the Exercise Habit. How to apply the method to the habit of exercise.
9. Key to Habit Change: Enjoy the Activity. Don’t force yourself to do something you hate. Find ways to enjoy it instead.
10. Make Your Habit Change a Priority. How not to let it drop by the wayside.
11. Don’t Worry So Much About Long-term Goals. Focus on the process, not the end point.
12. Why Daily Frequency of Habits is Important. Daily habits are better than ones you do once a week, or even 2-3 times a week.

‘It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop.’ ~ Confucius

If you liked this guide, please bookmark it on Delicious or share on Twitter. Thanks, my friends.

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Read more about creating new habits in my book, The Power of Less.

“Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.” - Spanish Proverb

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

It’s that time of year — the end part — when people start thinking about their lives, their goals, their habits, and how to change everything for the better.

As always, I’m here to help if I can.

Today I’ve answered 20 questions from your fellow readers, who submitted them via the Zen Habits Twitter stream. I don’t claim to be perfect, but have learned a lot about habits and motivation in the last four or five years of habit changes (see My Story for more). I share some of what I’ve learned with the caveat, of course, that what works for me might not work for you. I hope it helps nevertheless.

1. How do you motivate yourself to get work done after trying many things and failing over and over again? (via @ankit_patel)

Motivation is first just about taking that first step — just getting excited about something enough to get started. Then it’s about focusing on enjoying what you’re doing, right now, instead of worrying about how you’re going to get to a destination.

You also need to forget about your failures, or at least the part of them that gets you discouraged. Take away from your failures a lesson about what obstacles stand in your way, and leave behind any bad feelings. Those are in the past. Focus on right now, and how fun the activity is, right now.

2. What moved you to first start the change into the Leo we know today? What was your very first step? (combined question from @hchybinski & @XIIIzen)

We’re the sum of all we’ve done in the past, from childhood on, so there’s no one thing that led me to the person I am or the life I’m living. However, I can definitely say that quitting smoking was a turning point for me, for a couple of reasons:

* It showed me that I could successfully change a habit, which I had no confidence in before that, after failing a number of times.
* I learned a lot of successful habit change principles from quitting smoking, which I applied to all future habit changes. See my book, The Power of Less, for details.

3. Why do we willfully and consciously engage in self-destructive habits while ignoring our better judgment? (via @ajdigitalfocus)

I don’t think this has been fully answered, but in my view it’s that we don’t rationally weigh the risks vs. costs.

When we smoke, we think it’s too hard to quit, too painful over the few weeks it takes to quit (cost), but it’s not properly weighed against the risks of not quitting (major illnesses, suffering for years, early death, incredible expenses for cigarettes and hospitalization, etc.).

The same is true of unhealthy eating — not eating the junk food is too hard, but the risk of eating it is obesity, health problems, self-esteem issues, high medical bills, gym costs if we want to get back into shape, years of suffering, etc.

The pain of quitting is now, while the pain of continuing is much later, and so it doesn’t seem too bad. So the answer is to replace the bad habit with a good habit that you enjoy immensely, and focus on that enjoyment, right now, rather than the pain.

4. What is your favorite low tech and high tech way to track progress on your habits? (via @jalbright)

I’ve tried lots of high-tech trackers — from Joe’s Goals to The Daily Plate to the Daily Mile to Fit Day — but my current favorite is Daytum. It’s really easy to enter data, and you can display it publicly in many useful ways. People can look at my Daytum and see how I’m doing, and that motivates me to keep going.

As for low-tech solutions, my favorite is a Moleskine notebook. Easy to carry around, nice to use.

5. How can I become a “Morning Person”? I feel it’s a key to success. (via @DonSchenck)

While I intentionally became an early riser, and I love it, it’s not really a key to success. It’s one way to find the time to pursue your dreams, and it’s the way I chose, but I know night owls (famously, Tim Ferriss) who find they’re much more productive in the middle of the night. Find what works best for you.

But to answer your question: do it slowly, five minutes earlier each morning, and do something enjoyable with your extra time. Focus on how wonderful the time of day is, how enjoyable the activity, and not how much you’re suffering because it’s too damn early. You’ll learn to love it, and you’ll adjust over time.

6. If for a moment you start to feel overwhelmed by the complexities of life, how do you simplify to get where you want to be? (via @TroyAustria)

Take a deep breath, and let all the chaos and frustration flow out of you. Focus not all all the things you need to do, or that are coming up, or that have happened, but on what you’re doing right now. And just focus on doing one thing, right now.

I would take a walk, get some fresh air, and get some perspective. Try to think about what’s most important to you, what your perfect life would be like, what your perfect day would look like.

Then, one small step at a time, start making it happen. What’s standing in the way? What can you change right now? What can you change tomorrow? What long-term changes can you start making?

Declutter the area around you, a little at a time (or all at once, if you can find the free time and energy). Cut back on how much you’re doing, which will mean telling people who expect things of you that you just can’t do those things, because you have too much on your plate.

7. What’s the habit requiring the least effort that makes the greatest difference? (via @kofisarfo)

This will sound trite, but I’d say positive thinking. It’s not the easiest habit, as it requires that you start listening to your self-talk, and start telling yourself positive things instead of negative ones.

But it’s the one thing that will make the greatest difference, because it will enable all other habit changes. It has really made a huge difference in my life, and I think it’s a vital component to any plan to change your life.

8. What would be the 10 most motivating words I could say to myself every morning to get myself to exercise? (via @AmidPrivilege)

I would say these 10 words:

“Just lace up and get out the door. And smile.”

Once you get started, take that first step, the rest is easy. And smiling makes it enjoyable.

9. My hubby lacks interest in anything except boating. How can I motivate him to get off the sofa? (via @organizedsandra)

I don’t think you can motivate others — if they want to do something, they’ll do it. If they don’t, then don’t make them.

However, you can influence others in positive ways. I’d recommend setting an example by doing, and sharing how great it is, without judgment for what he’s doing. If he’s happy doing what he’s doing, then that’s great. If he’d like to do more, then be there for support — but don’t push.

You can ask for his help, as well, in your efforts. Sometimes spouses love to help, and that can rub off on them and get them thinking about trying it themselves. Or maybe not.

In the end, worry more about what you’re doing and less about what he’s doing — he’s living his life and you’re living yours. People don’t like to be pushed or judged or badgered, but like to be loved and accepted.

10. How to minimize tension/frustration with others who are less organized than you are! (via @originalmuggle)

It’s a matter of only worrying about what you can control, and accepting that which you can’t. You can’t control others or their organization level, so don’t even try to.

This is actually a deeper issue of control for many organized people — they want to control everything in the world around them (and for a long time I was one of them), but it’s impossible, and it only leads to stress and frustration and conflicts. Instead, learn to embrace a degree of chaos, accept that the world is out of your control, and love it. The world is a wonderfully unpredictable, wild, and beautiful place.

To learn to let go, every time you find yourself frustrated, stop, and breathe. Let the frustration flow out of you, and let peace come in. Remind yourself that you don’t have to control, and love others for their humanness. It takes time, but you can learn.

11. What is your best advice on keeping focused on the important when the distractions in our lives are constant? (via @gamesizing)

Figure out what’s distracting you, and how to minimize them, or at least put them in a certain place. Engineer your environment so the distractions are minimal. For example, shut off the Internet except for times when you really need it (predetermined times). At the very least, shut off email notifications and anything else that pops up and tells you there’s a new message or tweet or whatever. Close those programs and only have what you need for the task in front of you.

Learn to focus for short amounts of time — say 10 or 15 minutes. Then lengthen that time gradually, by 5 minutes, until you can focus for 45-60 minutes at a time — or more. And enjoy that time of focus — it’s fantastic.

12. How do you stay motivated in business when you have never done something before & the results won’t show up until down the road? (via @darinpersinger)

Learn to love the process, and don’t let your happiness be so dependent on the outcome. Be passionate about the actual things you do, do them because you love it, and you’ll stick with it. The great things that result will be a natural by-product.

13. Thoughts on getting unstuck? (via @coulter520)

If you’re stuck on a project or task, give your brain a breather or a jolt. A breather could be going outside to take a walk, doing a little bit of easy meditation (focus on your breath as it comes in, then goes out, for a minute or two), or doing something fun like a game for a few minutes (like 5-20 minutes). A jolt could be some kind of inspiration — read blogs or books you find inspiring, look for something others are doing that inspire you to do something creative.

If you’re stuck in life, that requires a bit more work, but think of it as an opportunity to re-invent yourself and your life. Take a break from work if possible — even if it’s just for an hour or two, but a day or two is even better. Think of it as a necessary work session, because it will help you get unstuck. Take this break as a breather from your normal routine, but use it not just to veg out but to think, to get some perspective, to take a wider look at your life. What are you doing that you love doing? What can you eliminate that’s both unnecessary and unexciting? If you hate what you’re doing, can you change it to something you love, or can you change jobs? Can you automate or outsource things that you don’t enjoy, or eliminate them, so you can focus on creating, on things you do enjoy? Make a list of things you’d like to do, in the short-term and long-term, and then start implementing them, one little thing at a time.

14. How do you stay away from distractions? Do you do just one thing at a time or multitask in a planned way? (via @manshu)

I’m a big proponent of single-tasking. Multi-tasking can work in some cases but most of the time it gets in the way of focusing on what’s really important. Multi-tasking can work for little tasks, like checking email and your bank account and Facebook and things like that. But you should set aside time for the important tasks — earlier rather than later, when things might get too busy.

When you’re going to work on an important task, clear away all distractions and focus just on that one task. Close programs you don’t need, clear away clutter on your desk, turn off any notifications, turn off your mobile devices, and preferably shut off the Internet and close your browser.

15. How do you determine when you’ve reached a minimalist lifestyle? (via @clabbur)

It’s not a destination, it’s a mindset. You’re a minimalist once you decide to have less and do less, when you decided to stick with enough and not go for more. I consider myself a minimalist, but I know there’s much more I could do if I wanted to. I could go live in a cabin in the woods, in Alaska, and be off the grid. I could use or eat nothing I didn’t make myself. But that’s not realistic, for my life, so I just reduce what I own and use and do, and slowly change over time.

Any lasting change should be done slowly and gradually anyway. So think of it not so much as a destination but a long-term process, and you’ll improve over time. You’re never there, at that “minimalist lifestyle” exactly, but at the same time you’re always there, if your mind is in the right place.

16. If you could offer only one piece of advice about beginning … changing habits, starting fresh … what would it be? (via @andsarah2)

Start with one little step at a time. That’s obvious, but you might be surprised at how many people try to change 5-10 habits at once, to start afresh. It’s too hard to make drastic changes like that.

Changes made gradually don’t seem hard at all. For example, instead of giving up meat altogether to become vegetarian, you could just eat some vegetarian dishes on different nights of the week. That will soon become normal, as you learn new recipes and adjust your taste buds. Then add more meatless meals, and so on, and each step along the way, you’ll adjust and that will become the new “normal” for you. Over time, you’ll have made great changes, but each step along the way is a small one and not difficult at all.

17. How do you sustain self-motivation when you suffer a setback toward your goals? (via @liveaudaciously)

I always try to enjoy what I’m doing. If there’s a setback, that’s not a problem, because the progress I’m making isn’t as important as doing the activity (running, reading, writing, cycling, whatever). And because I enjoy the activity, I’ll keep doing it, even if there’s a setback.

Just realize that setbacks are not the ending points, unless you let them become so. They’re just a little stone on the road — kick it aside, go over it, walk around it, but just keep walking. And enjoy the journey.

18. Besides your own book, what one book would you recommend to help someone find their motivation? (via @tomfromhr)

I’ve never found a single book that will motivate someone. Books can help inspire, but there’s too many to choose from — I’d probably recommend The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama or any book by Thich Naht Hanh (Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life, and True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart). But one of the books I recommend most, that really reflects how I try to approach things, is Slowing Down to the Speed of Life, by Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey. It’s not motivational but if you try the techniques in the book you’ll find that you’ll easily create the habits you want with a minimum of stress.

19. What do you do when you used to love your work, but passion has been killed by work/life balance issues? (via @RobinLP)

There are two approaches I’ve tried and recommend. The first is to try to reinvigorate your work, to find new appreciation and passion for your work. This is the easiest method, from one point of view, but at the same time isn’t always possible if you truly hate your job. To do it, you have to look at the things you enjoy about your job, to appreciate things about your job that you take for granted, and to try to change your job so that it’s something you love doing. You can do that by creating projects and work for yourself, with buy-in from your boss or team, that you’re excited about.

The second approach is more drastic but for me has been so much more rewarding — changing jobs to something you really love doing. This takes a little more time, and more courage. I suggest you start doing the job you want to do on the side — even for free at first, until you get good at it or spread your reputation enough that you can charge. Eventually, as you gain confidence and skills, you’ll want to take the plunge and quit your regular job.

Either way, you’ll need to address the root problem: you need to find balance in your life and time for things other than work. Workaholism is a problem when work becomes a problem — meaning if it’s sapping you of passion, you need to make a change. Set limits — stop working after a certain time, and schedule some non-work things that you enjoy. Exercise, hobbies, doing things with friends or family, creating in some way, reading, anything other than work. Find the balance that works for you — it takes time and experimenting, but most of all it takes a consciousness that you want to change your life.

20. How have the types of habits you have cultivated evolved over time? (via @rosshill)

Great question. As with anyone, my habits have changed since I started Zen Habits — I didn’t just cultivate some fundamental habits and then stop, living a static life. I’m always trying new things out, and my philosophy is always evolving as I learn. So some of the things you might’ve read when I started Zen Habits back in early 2007 don’t quite apply to what I’m doing today.

A good example is back in those days I was all about productivity in the traditional sense — knocking out tasks as quickly as possible, Getting Things Done, cranking widgets, making the most of every minute. But as I’ve evolved, that has become less important to me. I’ve simplified, and now I focus on what’s important, on enjoying what I do, on creating, rather than on getting so much done. It’s a more human approach to work, rather than an industrial drone type of approach.

In fact, I think I’ve become simpler over time. I don’t stress out about my running as much, and instead just go out to enjoy the run. I don’t worry about waking early so much, although I definitely enjoy the early morning and try to wake early so I can read and work in the quiet before dawn. I don’t keep track of all my tasks as much as I used to, so that at any given moment I might not have an up-to-date task list but I know what I want to focus on right now.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle

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If you liked this post, please bookmark it on Delicious or share on Twitter. Thanks, my friends.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle

Our daily lives are often a series of habits played out through the day, a trammeled existence fettered by the slow accretion of our previous actions.

But habits can be changed, as difficult as that may seem sometimes.

I’m a living example: in tiny, almost infinitesimal steps, I’ve changed a laundry list of habits. Quit smoking, stopped impulse spending, got out of debt, began running and waking early and eating healthier and becoming frugal and simplifying my life and becoming organized and focused and productive, ran three marathons and a couple of triathlons, started a few successful blogs, eliminated my debt … you get the picture.

It’s possible.

And while I’ve written about habit change many times over the course of the life of Zen Habits, today I thought I’d put the best tips all together in one cheatsheet, for those new to the blog and for those who could use the reminders.

Keep it simple
Habit change is not that complicated. While the tips below will seem overwhelming, there’s really only a few things you need to know. Everything else is just helping these to become reality.

The simple steps of habit change:

1. Write down your plan.

2. Identify your triggers and replacement habits.

3. Focus on doing the replacement habits every single time the triggers happen, for about 30 days.

That’s it. We’ll talk more about each of these steps, and much more, in the cheatsheet below.

The Habit Change Cheatsheet
The following is a compilation of tips to help you change a habit. Don’t be overwhelmed — always remember the simple steps above. The rest are different ways to help you become more successful in your habit change.

1. Do just one habit at a time. Extremely important. Habit change is difficult, even with just one habit. If you do more than one habit at a time, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Keep it simple, allow yourself to focus, and give yourself the best chance for success. Btw, this is why New Year’s resolutions often fail — people try to tackle more than one change at a time.

2. Start small. The smaller the better, because habit change is difficult, and trying to take on too much is a recipe for disaster. Want to exercise? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Want to wake up earlier? Try just 10 minutes earlier for now. Or consider half habits.

3. Do a 30-day Challenge. In my experience, it takes about 30 days to change a habit, if you’re focused and consistent. This is a round number and will vary from person to person and habit to habit. Often you’ll read a magical “21 days” to change a habit, but this is a myth with no evidence. Seriously — try to find the evidence from a scientific study for this. A more recent study shows that 66 days is a better number (read more). But 30 days is a good number to get you started. Your challenge: stick with a habit every day for 30 days, and post your daily progress updates to a forum.

4. Write it down. Just saying you’re going to change the habit is not enough of a commitment. You need to actually write it down, on paper. Write what habit you’re going to change.

5. Make a plan. While you’re writing, also write down a plan. This will ensure you’re really prepared. The plan should include your reasons (motivations) for changing, obstacles, triggers, support buddies, and other ways you’re going to make this a success. More on each of these below.

6. Know your motivations, and be sure they’re strong. Write them down in your plan. You have to be very clear why you’re doing this, and the benefits of doing it need to be clear in your head. If you’re just doing it for vanity, while that can be a good motivator, it’s not usually enough. We need something stronger. For me, I quit smoking for my wife and kids. I made a promise to them. I knew if I didn’t smoke, not only would they be without a husband and father, but they’d be more likely to smoke themselves (my wife was a smoker and quit with me).

7. Don’t start right away. In your plan, write down a start date. Maybe a week or two from the date you start writing out the plan. When you start right away (like today), you are not giving the plan the seriousness it deserves. When you have a “Quit Date” or “Start Date”, it gives that date an air of significance. Tell everyone about your quit date (or start date). Put it up on your wall or computer desktop. Make this a Big Day. It builds up anticipation and excitement, and helps you to prepare.

8. Write down all your obstacles. If you’ve tried this habit change before (odds are you have), you’ve likely failed. Reflect on those failures, and figure out what stopped you from succeeding. Write down every obstacle that’s happened to you, and others that are likely to happen. Then write down how you plan to overcome them. That’s the key: write down your solution before the obstacles arrive, so you’re prepared.

9. Identify your triggers. What situations trigger your current habit? For the smoking habit, for example, triggers might include waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc. Most habits have multiple triggers. Identify all of them and write them in your plan.

10. For every single trigger, identify a positive habit you’re going to do instead. When you first wake in the morning, instead of smoking, what will you do? What about when you get stressed? When you go out with friends? Some positive habits could include: exercise, meditation, deep breathing, organizing, decluttering, and more.

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” - Mark Twain

11. Plan a support system. Who will you turn to when you have a strong urge? Write these people into your plan. Support forums online are a great tool as well — I used a smoking cessation forum on about.com when I quit smoking, and it really helped. Don’t underestimate the power of support — it’s really important.

12. Ask for help. Get your family and friends and co-workers to support you. Ask them for their help, and let them know how important this is. Find an AA group in your area. Join online forums where people are trying to quit. When you have really strong urges or a really difficult time, call on your support network for help. Don’t smoke a cigarette, for example, without posting to your online quit forum. Don’t have a drop of alcohol before calling your AA buddy.

13. Become aware of self-talk. You talk to yourself, in your head, all the time — but often we’re not aware of these thoughts. Start listening. These thoughts can derail any habit change, any goal. Often they’re negative: “I can’t do this. This is too difficult. Why am I putting myself through this? How bad is this for me anyway? I’m not strong enough. I don’t have enough discipline. I suck.” It’s important to know you’re doing this.

14. Stay positive. You will have negative thoughts — the important thing is to realize when you’re having them, and push them out of your head. Squash them like a bug! Then replace them with a positive thought. “I can do this! If Leo can do it, so can I!” :)

15. Have strategies to defeat the urge. Urges are going to come — they’re inevitable, and they’re strong. But they’re also temporary, and beatable. Urges usually last about a minute or two, and they come in waves of varying strength. You just need to ride out the wave, and the urge will go away. Some strategies for making it through the urge: deep breathing, self-massage, eat some frozen grapes, take a walk, exercise, drink a glass of water, call a support buddy, post on a support forum.

16. Prepare for the sabotagers. There will always be people who are negative, who try to get you to do your old habit. Be ready for them. Confront them, and be direct: you don’t need them to try to sabotage you, you need their support, and if they can’t support you then you don’t want to be around them.

17. Talk to yourself. Be your own cheerleader, give yourself pep talks, repeat your mantra (below), and don’t be afraid to seem crazy to others. We’ll see who’s crazy when you’ve changed your habit and they’re still lazy, unhealthy slobs!

18. Have a mantra. For quitting smoking, mine was “Not One Puff Ever” (I didn’t make this up, but it worked — more on this below). When I wanted to quit my day job, it was “Liberate Yourself”. This is just a way to remind yourself of what you’re trying to do.

19. Use visualization. This is powerful. Vividly picture, in your head, successfully changing your habit. Visualize doing your new habit after each trigger, overcoming urges, and what it will look like when you’re done. This seems new-agey, but it really works.

20. Have rewards. Regular ones. You might see these as bribes, but actually they’re just positive feedback. Put these into your plan, along with the milestones at which you’ll receive them.

21. Take it one urge at a time. Often we’re told to take it one day at a time — which is good advice — but really it’s one urge at a time. Just make it through this urge.

22. Not One Puff Ever (in other words, no exceptions). This seems harsh, but it’s a necessity: when you’re trying to break the bonds between an old habit and a trigger, and form a new bond between the trigger and a new habit, you need to be really consistent. You can’t do it sometimes, or there will be no new bond, or at least it will take a really really long time to form. So, at least for the first 30 days (and preferably 60), you need to have no exceptions. Each time a trigger happens, you need to do the new habit and not the old one. No exceptions, or you’ll have a backslide. If you do mess up, regroup, learn from your mistake, plan for your success, and try again (see the last item on this list).

23. Get rest. Being tired leaves us vulnerable to relapse. Get a lot of rest so you can have the energy to overcome urges.

24. Drink lots of water. Similar to the item above, being dehydrated leaves us open to failure. Stay hydrated!

25. Renew your commitment often. Remind yourself of your commitment hourly, and at the beginning and end of each day. Read your plan. Celebrate your success. Prepare yourself for obstacles and urges.

26. Set up public accountability. Blog about it, post on a forum, email your commitment and daily progress to friend and family, post a chart up at your office, write a column for your local newspaper (I did this when I ran my first marathon). When we make it public — not just the commitment but the progress updates — we don’t want to fail.

27. Engineer it so it’s hard to fail. Create a groove that’s harder to get out of than to stay in: increase positive feedback for sticking with the habit, and increase negative feedback for not doing the habit. Read more on this method.

28. Avoid some situations where you normally do your old habit, at least for awhile, to make it a bit easier on yourself. If you normally drink when you go out with friends, consider not going out for a little while. If you normally go outside your office with co-workers to smoke, avoid going out with them. This applies to any bad habit — whether it be eating junk food or doing drugs, there are some situations you can avoid that are especially difficult for someone trying to change a bad habit. Realize, though, that when you go back to those situations, you will still get the old urges, and when that happens you should be prepared.

29. If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and try again. Don’t let failure and guilt stop you. They’re just obstacles, but they can be overcome. In fact, if you learn from each failure, they become stepping stones to your success. Regroup. Let go of guilt. Learn. Plan. And get back on that horse.

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. - Benjamin Franklin

Further reading:

• Autopilot Achievement: How to Turn Your Goals Into Habits
• Engineer Life: Set Up Habit Changes So It’s Hard to Fail
• How to Establish New Habits the No-Sweat Way
• 13 Things to Avoid When Changing Habits
• 7 Little Habits That Can Change Your Life, and How to Form Them

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On mnmlist.com: Minimalism’s logical extension: Break free from goals.

“Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast.” - William Shakespeare

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

How many times have you rushed into making changes in your life — a habit change, learning a new skill — only to have it flop?

It’s not just the New Year’s Resolution Syndrome — it happens too often at all times of the year, that we run out of steam or get discouraged and give up.

But here’s the secret, and I won’t charge you $29.95 for it: go slowly.

This little change has more power than most people realize. It will help to learn any skill, from martial arts to art to computer activities. It will help form habits that are long-lasting. Slowing down will help you become more effective and ironically, help reach goals faster.

If you’ve ever tried T’ai Chi (or Taijiquan), famous for its series of slow movements and poses, you’ve felt the power of slow. The slower you go in T’ai Chi, the better, for many reasons. One effect of this slowness is that you perfect the movements. And your body adapts, forming muscle memories that will last when (and if) you decide to speed up the movements.

It’s as if your body and mind are forming a groove through continual repetition of the movements. If you move quickly, you’ll be erratic, and the groove will be much more difficult to form. If you move slowly, you can learn to move in exactly the same pattern, in a more precise way, and a groove will form. Once the groove is formed, it becomes easier. It’s now habit, unconscious memory, and automatic.

This is habit formation, and usually it’s done without thought. When we drive home and our minds are on something else, but we make the right motions to get home anyway … this is habit, this is our minds and bodies going in a groove we’ve formed by doing these actions so many times before.

The groove is best formed by going slow, at first.

This applies to anything: exercise, eating healthy, creating art, becoming a patient parent, carpentry, reading. Slow is the secret to making it last. And no, that’s not meant to be dirty.

Some of the reasons slow works, besides forming a groove:

1. Mindfulness. When you do something slowly, you can pay more attention to what you’re doing. I highly recommend that when you make changes, you do them mindfully, with full concentration. This increased awareness is necessary in the beginning, when you’re still forming the groove. Later, it’ll become automatic, but at first it’s anything but. You need to pay attention, and you can do this better when you do it slower.

2. You hold yourself back. Holding ourselves back is often considered a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s the best thing we can do, if we want changes to last. When we start a new change, often we are full of enthusiasm. But then we go all out and use up all of that enthusiasm, and run out of motivation or energy or get distracted by something else. But when you hold yourself back, you build up enthusiasm and keep it going for much longer — through that dreaded 2-3 week barrier when people often quit. So even if you want to run 3 miles at first, start with walking and then run-walking (in intervals), and only do a mile or so. You’ll want to do more, but stop yourself. Save that enthusiasm for next time.

3. You learn it right. Doing something slowly means you can learn to do it correctly, without being erratic, and later as it becomes second nature you’ll do it the right way. The importance is obvious in something like martial arts, but it’s also true in any physical activity. And every activity is physical (and mental).

4. Increased focus. When you do something slowly, you tend to do just one thing. It’s hard to multi-task and do something slowly — they don’t mix well. When you single-task, you can focus, instead of always being distracted. This leads to increased effectiveness.

5. Calm. Slow is calmer. Fast is hectic. Go slow to get rid of the chaos, and find peace.

“Slow down, everyone. You’re moving too fast.” - Jack Johnson

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On mnmlist.com: The Definitive Guide to a Minimalist Mac Setup

Also: You might know I announced I’m moving to San Francisco … if you’re a San Francisco resident, please help me by adding to my moving to S.F. wiki!

Control yourself!” We all say it, mostly to ourselves. We say it when we ‘indulge’ in behaviors that cause short-term gain for long-term pain. And guilt. I cite many of the usual suspects: eating the wrong things, being lazy, staying up too late, drinking too much. There are others, of course. Why do we do such things? After all, aren’t we entirely in control of ourselves all of the time?

Nope.

Research tells us that willpower is a limited resource. Each of us only has so much of it. The studies demonstrating this are rather ingenious. I will share one of my favorites with you, though there are many more.

You are a student at a mid-Western university and you are in a psychology experiment apparently concerned with taste-testing. The experimenter seats you at a table. In front of you is a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. There is also a plate of radishes. Your stomach is growling because, as instructed, you didn’t eat anything last night.

The experimenter asks you to taste-test the radishes. You are not to taste the cookies. In fact, don’t even touch them! No cookies for you! Next, the experimenter asks you to help out another experimenter with a puzzle experiment. You start working on the puzzle. It’s rather hard …

Times passes …

You are having trouble solving the puzzle. Undeterred, you press on.

More time passes …

You still can’t solve the puzzle! You sometimes get close, but then you make a mistake and start over. Eventually, you give up. When the experiment is over, you learn a couple of interesting facts. First, the two experiments, taste-testing and puzzle-solving, were related. Those sneaky psychologists! Second, some people taste-tested the cookies. Lucky ducks!

Persisting at the frustratingly difficult puzzle takes willpower. But will the radish-eaters and cookie-eaters have the same amount of willpower? The experimenters think that the radish-eaters have less will-power than the cookie-eaters because the radish-eaters had to resist grabbing a cookie. So, the radish-eaters should give up on the puzzle sooner than the cookie-eaters. That’s what happened.

That study, and dozens of others like it, show that people only have so much willpower. When you have to control yourself, there is less willpower available to you for other parts of your life. This fact is a good one to know because people who lose their will-power often do things that they would rather not. They become aggressive, sexually impulsive, and give up too early on puzzles.

This has nothing to do with being physically tired. Your self-control is at low ebb when you are mentally exhausted. So, what lessons can we learn from what the science is telling us? How can we be in more and better control of ourselves more often? I have three tips:

1. Anticipate and plan for your times of low self-control. Now that you know that self-control is a limited resource and that depleting it means less for later, you can do some anticipating and planning. For example, make sure that you’re not in the chips and cookies aisle of the grocery store after a long day at work. Don’t start on your tax return after a frustrating commute.

2. Exercise your willpower muscle to get more of it. Roy Baumeister, one of the leading researchers in this field, thinks that willpower is like a muscle. Exercising a muscle in the short-term leads to its exhaustion. In the long-term, though, exercising a muscle causes it to grow. In fact, there is some good evidence that exercising your willpower, though temporarily depleting, means that it will be stronger in the long run. So, push yourself. Things to do that will deplete your willpower:

• Work on a tough to solve puzzle;
• Watch a funny movie but resist the urge to laugh;
• Watch a sad movie but resist the urge to cry.

3. Drink some orange juice. It turns out that glucose is one of the key ingredients that your brain needs for effective self-control. Willpower. It’s not just for breakfast anymore!

I hope that you find my message enlightening and helpful. Some of you, I am sure, will be disappointed to learn that your capacity for self-control is less than infinite. You do have willpower, just not as much as you might like. But now you know how to get more!

Read more from Ian Newby-Clark at his blog, My Bad Habits. Read his previous guest posts here at Zen Habits:

• Five Steps to Reclaim Your New Year’s Resolution
• The Power of Gradual
• Five Things You Need to Know About Effective Habit Change

I’ve failed in the attempt to do this at least a few times.

I’ve also done it successfully. You might have read my story, but basically I went from overweight, sedentary, heavily in debt, overworked and stressed, unproductive, with no time for my family … to a runner, marathoner, exerciser, healthy diet, vegetarian, early riser, much more productive, debt-free, simplified life where I have time for my wife and kids.

And how did I do it all? One little step at a time.

Recently reader Christine asked:

I really want to be a positive, achieving, dedicated, in-the-moment, fun (& all the good traits you can imagine!) woman/wife/mother. How can I become that in my lifetime?

I want to be completely healed from past hurts, mistakes, doubts, failures, disappointments, pains, etc. I want to be free!

In short, Mr. Leo, I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

Christine, you’ve asked a lot of me, and I honestly can’t tackle it all in one answer, so I won’t try. Instead, I will give you the best suggestion I have:

Start small.

Don’t try to make all these huge changes, and change your entire life at once. It’s too hard, and overwhelming. You can’t do everything at once — you can only do one thing at a time.

So pick one thing to change — something easy. Don’t pick the most difficult thing — just the easiest. Something you can focus on for the next couple of weeks.

Be sure you’re going to be successful at it — again, it should be super easy.

Then clear everything else off your plate and focus on just that. Really put all your energy into making that change. You might try something simple, like smile more, or to be more grateful (say a prayer of thanks in the morning, and show gratitude to people throughout the day), or focus on slowing down as you do your work or chores.

Start small, and be sure to make this a success. Once you’ve had that success, use that feeling of success to leverage a second success — something small that you can win at, again. Keep repeating this, small successes, one after the other.

Small steps. That’s how you’re going to change your life. You’ll probably get impatient and want to do more, but trust me: this will work.
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Read more about simple productivity, focus and getting great things done in Leo’s book, The Power of Less.

One of the biggest problems people face is the lack of discipline — they have goals or habits they want to achieve, but lack that discipline needed to stick with it.

Then we beat ourselves up about it. We feel crappy because we can’t stick with it.

And that leads to more failure, because we’re forming a mindset that we don’t have the necessary discipline.

Here’s what to do when you face a situation like this:

1. Forgive yourself. You aren’t perfect. No one is. Realize that beating yourself up will only make things worse. Take a few slow, deep breaths and let it go. Forgive yourself. And move on.

2. Realize that discipline is an illusion. While discipline is a common concept, it doesn’t actually exist. It’s not a thing you can actually do. Think about it: people say discipline is pushing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. But how do you do that? What skill is required? There isn’t a skill — it’s just forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. And that requires … some kind of motivation. Without motivation, you won’t be able to force yourself to do anything. So motivation is the key concept — and this is something that’s real, that you can actually learn how to do.

3. Focus on motivation. What’s your motivation for pursuing the goal or habit? How will you sustain the motivation when you struggle? Have very strong motivations for doing something, and write them down. Commit publicly. When things get tough, remind yourself of your motivation. Focus on it. It’ll pull you along — that’s more powerful than trying to focus on the push of discipline.

4. Make it easy. Discipline is tough because whatever the task or habit you’re trying to do is tough. Instead, make it easy. Remove barriers. Having a hard time exercising? Make it ridiculously easy, by only exercising for 5 minutes. What use is exercising for 5 minutes? You’re creating the habit, not getting yourself into shape overnight. The 5 minutes of exercise will have only a tiny impact on your health, but it makes exercise super easy. If you can do that 30 days in a row, you now have an exercise habit. Hate waking up early to go to the gym? Do it at home. Do it during lunch or after work.

5. Focus on enjoyment. It’s hard to push yourself — to have discipline — when you hate doing something. So find something enjoyable about the activity. If you don’t look forward to exercise, find some good music, or a workout partner who you can have a nice conversation with, or a peaceful setting in nature that is just beautiful. And focus on that enjoyable aspect. Hate doing your paperwork? Find a peaceful sanctuary where you can do the paperwork and enjoy yourself. Maybe have a nice cup of tea or coffee, play some nice music. And focus on the enjoyment.

6. Repeat. You’ll almost inevitably slip up sometime, no matter how good you are. Unfortunately, people often take this to mean they don’t have discipline, and they just beat themselves up and give up. Well, it’s just a bump in the road. Get up, dust yourself off, and get going again. Start from Step 1 and start all over.

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We learn more by doing than by reading.

That’s a simplified statement, of course, because reading teaches us a lot, but it’s in the actual doing of things that we do our real learning. It may be a fairly harmless statement for most of us, but think about this: do you actually put it into practice? How about in your efforts to improve your life?

It’s easy to see how this applies in a school situation: In an article in the Chronicle for Higher Education, studies show that the best way to study for an exam is not to read and re-read, but to put the book down, try to recall what you read, then write it down. Much more effective.

But how about in your everyday life? This isn’t as obvious, but it’s just as effective.

When you want to improve your life in some way — by simplifying, by being more frugal, by starting to exercise or eat healthy, by learning more productive habits, by being a more positive or compassionate person — you are learning a new skill.

And when you learn a new skill, all the reading in the world won’t teach you the skill. You have to learn by doing.

So reading countless self-help articles and books are great — I’ve written a few myself — but remember that it’s only the first step.

You have to put the personal development posts away, get away from the computer or book, and start doing it. Today.

Only in doing it will you actually learn.

Reading does help though: first in helping you to understand what to do, and second in keeping you motivated as you actually do the skill. But it’s not a substitute for doing.

So stop reading this post, and go do what you want to learn to do!

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Have you ever been annoyed by a successful person, because you thought you were more intelligent than them? Maybe it was a boss. Maybe it was a political figure or a leader.

It’s especially maddening when this person is creating rules that dictate your life. I can definitely relate. I’ve had my share of bosses that I thought were less than brilliant.

So what is it that makes them successful? That’s what I’ve always wondered and what has always bugged me. I mean, shouldn’t intelligence be a prerequisite to leadership? The answer… not really.

It turns out the biggest reason people are successful is: consistent action, not intelligence.

Then the question is, are these three words ruining your life…?

The unmagical words
Those words are: I don’t know.

It’s not drive, it’s not motivation, it’s not lack of passion that keeps people from doing what they want. It’s not knowing where to start, or how to get from A to B. That’s the single biggest reason people don’t take action to make their dreams a reality.

So how can we overcome this? How can we stop letting obscurity keep us from becoming successful? The answer is pretty simple: You have to develop the ability to stop caring about not knowing.

You have to cultivate the habit of doing before knowing. This seems like a daunting thing to do, but it’s really actually a very easy habit to create. And there are a multitude of possibilities that exist right now that you can practice it.

Easiest thing in the world

For example, how many time does your spouse or partner ask you “What do you want to have for dinner?” and you respond, “I don’t know.” (This happens to me all the time, and it’s maddening.) Next time, instead of using those three dirty words, just ask yourself, “What’s something I’d like to have for dinner?” and then respond.

Now do this when someone asks where you’d like to hang out, or what you’d like to spend the evening doing. Instead of re-actively saying “I don’t know,” take the time to come up with a response. Even if you’re not 100% completely stoked about the idea, just come up with something you’d be satisfied with doing. Anything other than I don’t know is an improvement.

Next, try asking yourself “How could I best use my time, right now?” or “What is the highest leverage use of my time, right now?” Take a minute to brainstorm and mentally prioritize. If you’re having trouble coming up with an answer, just pick whatever you think would be the most productive use of your time. Remember, anything is better than the three words we shall not speak of.

Just imagine all of the possibilities for you to practice actively making decisions based on your desires, rather than re-actively defaulting to unconsciousness. There are so many little ways you can practice this skill. I think you’ll be surprised at how often you’re able to rehearse it.

The difference between living and existing

Okay, so you’ve mastered it with the little stuff. Now it’s time to use it on the things that really matter. Stuff like your passions and career.

If you’re not doing something you love or at least like for a living, you’re selling yourself short. And I bet the reason why you’re not pursuing something better is because you don’t know what you’d rather do. Instead of allowing that not knowing to dwell in your psychic space, cast it out. Don’t tolerate it anymore. If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, move from not knowing to seeking a path that will allow you to explore what you might love to do. This might mean reading a book on different career pursuits. It might mean googling your hobbies for possible career intersections. Whatever it is, practice that until you move into a state of knowing.

The reason I’m so passionate about this is because I’ve seen so many lives unfulfilled because of not knowing. It saddens me to think that such a simple phrase can have such a devastating impact.

I urge you to practice moving in the direction of knowing, when you feel stuck in a state of indecision. All it takes is one little shift.

It could mean the difference between making a dying and making a living.