Background: I’m a runner but a complete novice in cycling and swimming (just started a month ago). So my goal for this first sprint tri was just to finish and have a good time. I wasn’t worried about my place or my time — I can work on improving later.

The Course: Set in the beautiful little village of Piti, Guam, the sprint triathlon was a 750-meter ocean swim in warm water (in the 80s) (two laps of a triangular course around three buoys) … followed by a 20K bike (3 out-and-back laps on a flat course near the ocean, strong tailwind going out, strong headwind coming back) … and finally a 5K run, along the same flat but windy course. It started at 7 a.m., which might not mean much in colder climates but on Guam, it gets pretty hot by 7 a.m. It was probably in the 90s by the time I was on the run.

The Swim: I’m not a strong swimmer at all, and in fact have never swam 750m without stopping. So I started on the outside, to the back, hoping to avoid the tangle of swimmers at the start. That worked out pretty well, although I was stuck behind a slower swimmer to start with. I think that was a good thing, as it helped me conserve energy and I really didn’t have to do the breaststroke for resting as I’d anticipated. My form was really horrible, but I didn’t care. I expected to be the last out of the water but surprised myself and finished somewhere in the middle (well, the back of the middle, but still not one of the last). I don’t have my split times for any of the legs. I felt pretty decent coming out of the swim, which I was happy with.

The Bike: I ride an old mountain bike, and I think it really hurt me in this race. And as I said, I’ve only been cycling for a month, so I’m pretty slow. I just wanted to be able to finish the 20K bike leg, which I was pretty sure I could do. I did it pretty slow, though, and a lot of people passed me (many of them were actually ahead of me but on their 2nd or 3rd laps, but a few started the bike after me and still passed me). I have to admit the bike was a bit of a struggle, especially in the hot sun, and I finished near last place (maybe 3-4 people behind me).

The Run: My legs felt dead coming off the bike, but I started out pretty fast. Too fast, actually, and soon I was breathing heavy and knew I had to cut back. I was pretty tired by now, but tried to keep a decent pace. I don’t know what my pace was but I’m guessing around 8:00 miles. It was very very hot. I passed a few people around halfway through the run. One of them stuck with me and pushed me for the rest of the run, but I pulled away from him in the end with a strong finish.

Overall: My overall time was 1:39:48, which many experienced triathletes would probably laugh at, but again, I just wanted to finish and have fun. I accomplished my goals, so I’m happy! I had a great time, and look forward to my next sprint tri in June.

Improvement areas: I can obviously get better in the swim, with a little more endurance and better form. I bought the book “Total Immersion” to help me with my form, and I think it could make a bit of difference in the next tri. My bike needs a lot of improvement. I think I need to buy a road bike, first of all, because my bike was squeaking and I was struggling with it. I think the front tire was a little flat too. I also need to build up speed and endurance, but that will come with time. I really enjoy cycling, even if I’m slow, and I think I’ll only get better. The run was fine, about as good as I could do considering my legs were dead — I think it’ll get faster if I can get better endurance in the bike and swim. Transitions were fairly smooth, although I think I could have skipped the socks. I think I’ll get better overall as I continue to train — I’ve only been doing this for a month, so I have nowhere to go but up. :)

You’re only three years old, and at this point in your life you can’t read, much less understand what I’m going to try to tell you in this letter. But I’ve been thinking a lot about the life that you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I’ve learned, and about my role as a dad in trying to prepare you for the trials that you will face in the coming years.

You won’t be able to understand this letter today, but someday, when you’re ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and value in what I share with you.

You are young, and life has yet to take its toll on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life.

For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come, but they are not without their costs and perils.

I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I’ve learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.

Life Can Be Cruel
There will be people in your life who won’t be very nice. They’ll tease you because you’re different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.

There’s not much you can do about these people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.

There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won’t always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you’ll have to learn to deal with. But instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into positives, and you’ll do much better in life.

You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don’t have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and learn to use them to make you stronger.

But Be Open to Life Anyway
Yes, you’ll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don’t let that close you to new things. Don’t retreat from life, don’t hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.

You might get your heart broken 10 times, but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you’ll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.

You might get teased and bullied and hurt by people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don’t open your heart to them, you’ll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.

You will fail many times but if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a stepping stone to success.

Life Isn’t a Competition
You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They’ll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than their peers to be happy.

Here’s a secret: life isn’t a competition. It’s a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.

Don’t worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters a whit, and none of it will make you happier. You’ll acquire these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things … use that time doing things you love.

Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly. Don’t settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.

Love Should Be Your Rule
If there’s a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there’s no better rule in life.

Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.

Others would live by the rule of selfishness — putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and will also be unhappy.

Still others will live by the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing anyone who doesn’t live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live with, and that’s a horrible companion.

Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, with all of your heart. Give to them what they need, and show them not cruelty nor disapproval nor coldness nor disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to them.

Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand.

Love not only neighbors and strangers … but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you … love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love.

And most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful human being, worthy of happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird, scary, daunting, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be there for you when I can. Godspeed.

Love,
Your Dad

Pro·lif·ic (\prə-li-fik\) : Marked by abundant inventiveness or productivity.

–Merriam Webster Online

The prolific life has been characterized by abundant inventiveness and limitless creativity. Prolificacy has also been unnecessarily enshrouded in a veil of mystery and the sources of artistic inventiveness are too often viewed as out-of-reach for the average person. Perhaps it’s for this reason that artistic inspiration has frequently been attributed to muses, the channeling of spirits, beelzebub, etc.

In spite of perceptions surrounding prolific creativity, there are several documented commonalities that consistently appear in the lives of prolific people. Indeed, the psychological literature has some definite insights into commonalities of the prolific. My investigation into this literature has yielded these . . .

7 Common Characteristics of Prolific People

Highly prolific people tend to:

1. Be firmly settled in their creative identities. Prolific artists don’t question their artistic identities. They own the title of artist, writer, musician, etc. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s important. Prolific people aren’t shy about what they do, or about their love of art. When they have corporate jobs they tend to view themselves as writers with desk jobs rather than a corporate employees who also write.
2. Operate from a bedrock of stability. Despite the stereotypical image of the mercurial and whimsical artist, most highly prolific people have managed to pin down a lot of variables in their life; they aren’t constantly rearranging the logistics of life and reconfiguring their life situations. As a result, they can bring their full attention to bear upon the creation process.
3. Get “adopted” early by mentors or sponsors. Prolific artists tend of have received significant artistic mentorships at the beginning of their creative careers.
4. Get an early start: Prolific artists tend of have developed the rapid production habit early in their careers. They tend to have developed the production habit very shortly after beginning their artistic endeavors.
5. Be well adjusted. Prolific people tend to be sensitive, confident, open-minded, curious, intellectually flexible, willing to work very hard, and have a sense of humor.
6. Have a habit of writing. Highly prolific people tend to work even when they’re not inspired. They’ve developed the production habit.
7. Intrinsic interest. Prolific people are intrinsically motivated, almost without exception. They love their work and, in general, would do it (in some form or another) even if it paid much less or not at all.

[Note: Not all of these characteristics are present among all prolific people. These characteristics simply appear at a high frequency among prolific persons].

With these characteristics in mind, here are some tips for developing a prolific life:

1. Ruthlessly guard your mind. Prolific people often purposefully take on mindless jobs because it allows them to devote their thoughts entirely to art. Prolific people own their own minds, and they’re often found stocking shelves or parking cars, but all the while scribbling down notes during every free moment. They manage to engineer situations that allow their minds to be constantly creative even when they’re not actively producing art. (People who engage in cognitively taxing jobs are often too mentally exhausted at the end of the day to be creative).
2. Unabashedly take on your artistic identity. As Leo said in an earlier post, don’t be afraid to call yourself an artist. Can you imagine a prolific artist who’s afraid to claim an artistic identity? I can’t. Don’t be timid about telling yourself and others what you do. If you create art, then you’re an artist. The dedication and seriousness required to consistently produce inspired art requires a singularity of purpose that can’t be present unless you’ve come to own your own creativity.
3. Realize the gestation period of creative ideas. Prolific people might be producing at regular intervals, but the gestation period for their “products” is often long. You must be giving birth to a steady stream of new ideas in order for those ideas to bear fruit in a year or two down the road. Realize that prolific people don’t always have a shortened creative cycle; they often just have more creative cycles going on simultaneously.
4. Keep your creative inertia going. Do whatever it takes to make sure that your creative inertia doesn’t die. Require small outputs from yourself on a frequent basis and make artistic production a habit. Once you’ve strengthened this habit the floodgates of creativity are likely to open. One prolific writer I know has a timer that goes off every 40 minutes; with each alarm he writes down an idea.
5. Create stability where it counts. If you’re moving all the time and changing your life situation, the single-minded focus required for prolific output can be hard to obtain. Take care of as many external variables as possible in order to allow you to focus on your art.
6. Attend to your mental and physical health. While there are some very visible cases of clinically insane but nevertheless prolific people, these people are the exception rather than the rule. Less stress = greater prolificacy.
7. Get adopted by a mentor. Leverage any and all angles or opportunities available to find a mentor who’s done what you want to do. If you want to be a bestselling non-fiction author then don’t talk to the convenience store clerk, talk to a bestselling non-fiction author.

Clay Collins blogs at The Growing Life and is the author of Quitting Things and Flakiness: The #1 Productivity Anti-Hack and The James Dean Guide to Being a Body Language Bad*ss.

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We don’t want to lose weight, although that’s often stated as the goal — we want to get leaner. We want to shed the fat and leave just the lean muscle (some of us want to increase the muscle, others just want to lose the fat). We want to be healthy and in good shape and able to be physically active.

Unfortunately, with the stresses of our daily lives, with the frustrations of being overweight and living an unhealthy lifestyle, with the difficulties of changing ingrained habits … getting leaner and fitter isn’t always an easy process. Many of us give up before we get very far.

A little more than a month ago I announced my plan to become lighter and leaner in The Rules of the Unbelievable Lightness of Being Club. In summary, I planned to:

• Eat when I was lightly hungry, eat slowly, and stop when I was lightly full.
• Eat light foods (nothing heavy or greasy).
• Add weight lifting to my running, and start lightly (just one set of light weights to start with).

I’d like to give you my successful one-month report (I’m not stopping yet, but plans have changed a bit), and then share some of my tips for getting leaner and fitter — things that are working for me that I think could work for you too.

My One-Month Assessment - Success!

Since I published my plan in early April, I started a training blog and announced my overall goal and some sub-goals (see below). Also, since posting that plan I decided to try to do a couple of sprint triathlons (the first is this weekend!) which meant adding swim and bike workouts to my plan.

Now, to give you some background, I’m a runner but a complete novice when it comes to the swim and the bike. So I’ve been building up a little endurance and learning some skills, and generally having a blast. I won’t be competitive in the triathlons, but I will have fun. :)

Another thing to note is that I’ve now become addicted to triathlon training. It’s so much fun, and I recommend it to anyone trying to get lean (it’s included in my list of tips at the bottom of this post).

OK, let’s take a look at my goals from a month ago, and the progress I’ve made on each:

My overall goal is just to get myself in good shape for my honeymoon in late June, and then after that to prepare for my 3rd marathon in December. Progress: I’ve been exercising almost every single day and eating pretty healthy in the last month. I’ve added triathlon training to my running and weight lifting and feel fitter than ever. I’ve lost an inch or two on my waist and about 5 lbs so far, though my weight has plateaued a bit. I really feel fitter than I was a month ago and feel like I’ll be seeing even more results in the next few weeks.

My sub-goals:

1. Start and stick to a regular strength training routine. I’m going to do 2 full-body workouts a week, just 6 exercises: bench press, standing rows, shoulder presses, pullups, bicep curls and squats. I might add deadlifts and dips later, and maybe a 3rd day per week once I’ve gotten into the habit (after 3 weeks maybe). Progress: I’ve stuck to this strength training routine extremely well so far, doing more than 5 weeks of this schedule. I’ve gone from one set per exercise to four (starting today) and have increased the weights for each exercise. I also feel stronger than ever. This is my longest ever to stick with a weight routine!

2. Build my running back up to a decent level. My focus won’t be on running, but I’d like to have a decent base (maybe 30 miles per week eventually) before I start my marathon training. I’ll also do a faster workout once a week, to increase fat burning and to get me in good shape for some shorter races I’ll be doing for the next few months. Progress: I’ve not only built my running back up to a decent level (25+ miles per week and still increasing), but have started doing hills/speedwork once a week and am feeling strong on the run. Also, not in the original plan, but since I’ve begun triathlon training I’m now doing more cardio than ever before. I feel amazing!

3. Eat lightly. I’ll go into more detail on this in a future post, but I’ve created my own meal plan, and will be eating 4-5 times per day, about 300-400 calories per meal. Sometimes a little more. Eat when I’m lightly hungry (instead of ravenous), eat slowly, eat until I’m lightly full (not stuffed), eat light foods (not heavy). Allow myself to cheat a couple meals per week. Progress: I have definitely been eating more often, and eating less per meal, and eating healthy foods for the most part. The cheat meals haven’t been too bad, and while I haven’t stuck exactly to the meal plan, I think my eating has been really good in the last month. I eat when I’m hungry and don’t starve myself, but don’t stuff myself either — very healthy eating style.

4. Stay accountable. I will be trying to post daily (or so) here on my training blog, as well as keeping a public training and eating log on FitDay. Progress: I’ve posted reports each day (though I was late on a couple) so I’ve been pretty much perfect here. And while I don’t use FitDay anymore, I’ve switched to the much better The Daily Plate (see my diary) and have been logging faithfully every day. The accountability of this log and the training blog have really helped keep me on track.

Overall Assessment

As you can see from my progress on each sub-goal above, I’ve been doing great on every account — overall fitness, strength training, running, eating healthy, and staying accountable. I’ve also added swimming and biking and am having such a great time!

A few indicators:

1. Weight: Started at 189.5 and have dropped to 185.5. While my weight loss has leveled off, I think the overall loss is decent and the plateau is probably temporary.
2. Waist: Started at 38 inches, down to 36 inches as of this week. Hooray!
3. Strength: Went from 1 set of light weights to 4 sets of heavier weights.
4. Running: Went from running 4x a week, 13 miles a week (my first week) to running 5x a week and 25 miles a week (last week).
5. Overall exercise: Went from 6 workouts in a week the first week, total of 2 hrs 40 mins, to 11 workouts last week for a total of 8 hours and 20 minutes. That’s an increase of more than 3 times my total exercise minutes!

I’m obviously very happy with the last month and hope to just continue the exercise I’ve been doing and continue my healthy eating. I will continue to progress gradually with all four sports (weights, running, cycling, swimming) but will obviously not make the same kind of increases in total exercise time. If I just continue my schedule, I should do well over the next month

Tips for Getting Lean and Fit

The last month has been an enlightening part of my continuing journey over the last couple years to get leaner (and I still have a ways to go). One of the things that’s a bit tricky is losing fat while maintaining or even increasing your muscle mass — it’s hard to do as you tend to lose muscle as you lose fat, as a rule.

However, I’ve been finding that my muscle mass has actually been increasing (not at a huge rate, but at least it’s not decreasing) while I’m losing fat at the same time. Here are some tips for doing that and getting fitter than ever — as always, remember that I’m not an expert and these are just things that have been working for me:

1. Increase cardio. I know that you’ll read magazines and hear from bodybuilders that building muscle is the best way to lose fat. And to some extent, I agree that’s a good strategy. However, losing fat is really about being in a calorie deficit — if you burn more calories than you eat, your body will burn fat for fuel. And there’s no better way to get into calorie deficit, in my experience, than lots of cardio. It’s hard to burn 1,300 calories in one workout by lifting weights, as I did in my bike ride yesterday, or even 800+ calories, as I did in my run yesterday. Even the amount your metabolism is boosted by having extra muscle is negligible when compared to these high amounts of calories burned by cardio. I know this one tip will spark a debate, as it always does, but let me just say that by swimming, biking and running for more than an hour a day (sometimes two) I’ve been burning a lot of fat. You can use whatever strategy works for you, but this method is proven to be successful.
2. Do triathlon training. This is an extension of the first tip, but I think it’s a great tip — I’ve never had as much fun training as I have since I started triathlon training. Each day is a new challenge — a long run today, learning to improve my stroke tomorrow, a long bike ride the day after, then a hill run, then an endurance swim, then intervals on the bike, with weight workouts mixed into all of that. You never get bored. My suggestion is to look for a triathlon near you, maybe three or four months away — choose a sprint triathlon to start with. Then look for a beginner’s plan online, something that doesn’t start too hard, and slowly begin to build up endurance in each sport. Don’t overdo it in the beginning — even 20 minutes a day will make big improvements over time, until you’re doing 45-60 minutes most days of the week a month or two later. You’ll be fitter than ever, and your body will be leaner without a doubt.
3. Lift heavy. This is where I agree with many magazines and bodybuilders. If you just do a lot of cardio, you will lose fat, but you’ll also lose muscle. But if you lift heavy weights (whether you’re a man or a woman), you’ll force your body to keep that muscle. Lots of repetitions with light weights don’t really do much — you have to work your way up to heavier and heavier weights with fewer reps. Compound lifts are best — ones that work multiple muscle groups, like squats and deadlifts and bench press and so forth. Now, if you’re trying to lose fat and build muscle at the same time, you won’t gain as much muscle as you would if you just tried to gain muscle and didn’t worry about the fat. Bodybuilders usually have periods of bulking (gaining muscle with a caloric surplus) and cutting (losing fat with a caloric deficit). You can do this too, but I’ve found that just lifting heavy and doing a lot of cardio will get you leaner.
4. Eat adequate protein. This tip will also spark off a debate, because many bodybuilders will recommend one gram of protein intake per pound of body weight. However, most nutritionists will recommend 1 gram of protein per kilogram of body weight (divide your weight in pounds by 2.2 to get kilograms) for those trying to build muscle, and less for those who don’t exercise. If you eat a regular American diet with lots of meat, you eat well over this amount, so don’t worry about it. Vegetarians like myself can also easily get this amount if they try to get good sources of protein with every meal (nuts and nut butters, beans, tofu, soy milk, whole grains, etc.). I suggest non-vegetarians also focus on getting lean proteins, including those I just mentioned and lean sources of poultry, fish and red meat.
5. Focus on bodyfat, not weight. While I like to monitor my weight, I know that it’s a very imperfect measure of how lean I’m getting. What’s better is bodyfat percentage, and while there’s no convenient way to get an accurate measurement of that percentage, there are a couple of methods that will suffice. The first is a bodyfat scale — there a a bunch of good models on the market, and while none of them is very accurate, they are consistent, and changes in the readings of these scales will reflect actual improvement in your body composition. The second is just using a tape measure to measure your body — you can measure waist, hips, chest, arms, thighs and neck, but if you’re shooting for easiness maybe just do waist (right around where your belly button is, not where your pants go around your body). With these kinds of measurements to monitor your improvements, you’ll have a better reflection of whether you’re getting leaner or not.
6. Be accountable. My training blog has been a great way for me to stay accountable for my exercise and eating — it’s very motivational. I highly recommend starting such a blog to keep yourself accountable. Online forums, such as the Zen Habits forums, are also good ways to stay accountable, especially if they have daily reporting threads where you can tell people what you ate and what exercise you did every day. Sites such as The Daily Plate, where you log your food and exercise and other people can look at your log and post comments, are also good accountability tools. If you don’t use one of these online tools, at least have a group of friends and family to whom you give updates on your training, in person or through email.
7. Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full. This seems like such basic advice but the problem is many of us don’t follow it. We’re out of tune with our bodies and instead eat when it’s “time to eat” or when we have time or when we’re out with others and there’s food available. These are unhealthy eating patterns. First, we shouldn’t go hungry just because it’s not time to eat or we don’t have time. Always have healthy snacks, whether at work or on the road, and eat when you’re a little or moderately hungry. If you wait until you’re ravenous, you’ll overeat. Second, don’t keep eating if you’re satiated. Many times we are so ravenous that we eat past the point when we’re full, and then we’re stuffed. Or we eat seconds or even thirds because the food tastes so good, or because we’re too busy talking or watching TV to realize we’re full. Learn to eat slower, to pause in your eating for a few minutes even if you don’t think you’re full yet, and to listen to your body. Sometimes if you just wait for 5 minutes, you’ll realize you really are full. Avoiding overeating is crucial to getting leaner.
8. Get into calorie deficit. As I said above, it’s only when your body is in caloric deficit (you burn more calories than you eat) that it really taps into fat as a fuel source. Your body burns fat all the time (it’s doing it right now as you read this article) but after you eat a lot of food, if your body doesn’t need all of those calories, it’ll store them as more fat. So on balance you’re not losing fat if you’re not in caloric deficit. How do you get into caloric deficit? First use an online calculator to calculate how much your body needs to maintain itself. Then subtract 500 calories from that amount and aim to take in that much each day — that’s the deficit you need to lose about a pound a week, which is a safe amount. Don’t go into a deficit of more than 1,000 calories per day, as that will result in an unhealthy rate of weight loss. Also don’t go below 1,200 calories per day if you’re a woman or 1,500 if you’re a man, as that’s generally said to be too little — you won’t get the nutrients you need.
9. But don’t be in deficit during your exercise window. While being in caloric deficit is important if you want to lose fat, if you’re increasing your exercise (as I am and as I recommend above), then your body needs fuel for the exercise and for recovery and growth. Starving yourself while increasing exercise will only lead to low energy and the breakdown of your body. Here’s what I do: I think of the couple hours before my exercise, plus the time of my exercise, and the couple hours after my exercise, as my “exercise window”. So if I do an hour of exercise at 5 p.m., then my exercise window is 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. That’s when your body needs fuel — before and during exercise to fuel the exercise, and after the exercise to promote recovery and growth. Don’t go into caloric deficit during this time — try to get healthy, nutritious food with lots of carbs and protein. The rest of the day, you can be in deficit, but not during exercise if you want to get leaner and grow some muscle mass.
10. Eat clean if possible. What’s clean eating? It’s a lack of junk food and as little processed food as possible. It’s whole grains, lean protein, fruits and veggies, good fats, beans and nuts. Basically, healthy food. You don’t need any fancy diet plan — just eat these kinds of clean foods, and eat a variety of them. Now, you can eat “unclean” foods of course, but as much as you can, eat clean.
11. But don’t severely deny yourself. If you “go on a diet” and restrict yourself from foods your body craves, you will eventually binge. That’s not a healthy eating pattern either — restrict yourself severely and then binge, then repeat. Instead, indulge in what your body is craving, but do it in moderation. Then, instead of feeling guilty, move on and aim for clean foods most of the time. Feel free to indulge, as long as it’s the exception and not the rule. You want to have an eating pattern that you can live with, not something that will last a month and then collapse.
12. Eat lotsa veggies and fruits. If there’s any single diet change you make that will make the biggest difference in getting you leaner. Two reasons: one is that they are high in fiber and vitamins and minerals, which most people are lacking in their diet and which promote a healthier body. Two is that they are high in volume without being high in fat or calories. You can eat lots of fruits and veggies but have very few calories.
13. High-quality carbs are your friends. While in many circles carbs have been villified — and in the case of white breads and sugary foods, justifiably so — the truth is that if you’re going to increase your exercise, you need carbs. But you should aim for ones that are high in quality — whole grains, without a lot of fat or sugar, high in fiber and nutrients. Fruit, veggies, oatmeal and whole-grain breads are some good example of high-quality carbs.
14. Drink water only. Well, almost only. I have a cup of coffee in the morning, and an occasional beer or glass of wine (especially if I burned a lot of calories exercising that day). But other than that, I only drink water, all day long. I don’t consume massive amounts of it, as that hasn’t been shown to contribute to weight loss, but I make sure that I stay hydrated, and drinking water instead of juice or sweet drinks is a good way to keep out those extra calories.
15. Increase intensity. After you’ve built up some endurance in whatever exercise you choose — whether that’s walking or running or cycling or swimming or rowing or hiking — you should increase the intensity of that exercise perhaps once or twice a week. That doesn’t mean do an all-out effort, but doing faster-paced intervals, or walking or running or biking up hills, helps increase fitness, calorie burn and leanness. I’m a fan of long, slow miles, but more intense workouts really improve performance and get you fitter than ever.
16. Rest is just as important as exercise. Many people make the mistake of exercising at a high level all the time, and think that rest is for wimps. Well, it’s not. Rest is when your body heals itself and grows stronger. If you just exercise all the time, your body will break down, and you’ll get injured or burned out. It’s something I have to do all the time: force myself to take a break. To ensure that you’re getting proper rest, make sure that 1) you take at least one full rest day a week, and two if you’re just starting out; 2) you follow a hard workout day with an easy one (or a rest day); and 3) you get lots of sleep — even take naps if you’re doing a lot of exercise.
17. Most of all, enjoy yourself! Getting leaner and fitter doesn’t happen overnight, or even after a week or three. It’s a long process and it takes patience — and you’ll quit if all you’re looking for are results on the scale or in the mirror, especially if you don’t enjoy the exercise and good eating. If you really want to get lean and fit, you need to stick with it for the long haul, and that means you need to do it because you enjoy it. Make exercise fun! Don’t do it if you hate it (however, give it a couple weeks before you decide — often it gets much easier and more enjoyable after a couple weeks). Find exercise you love to do, that you look forward to doing. Find healthy foods that you enjoy. Living the healthy lifestyle can be a real pleasure if you make it so — and it’ll help you to get to where you’re going if you enjoy the journey.

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Final exams at Kansas University are only a few weeks away. My daughter, Caitlin, has been working very hard and will successfully complete her freshmen year in very good academic standing. Caitlin has learned a lot about being on her own and other important life skills, too.

However, she has already informed her mother and me her car will be packed and she will be ready to pull out of Lawrence, Kansas and head back home as soon as she completes her last exam.

While Mary Beth and I are looking forward to spending the summer with our daughter, we just hope her return to the nest will be equally successful.

In anticipation of her return home, my wife and I have been discussing how to embrace this change to our routine. We want the next few months to be happy and productive ones for the sake of the entire family. We have settled on these five ways to cope when our daughter comes home, again. I hope you will find these useful too:

1. Establish Some Ground Rules. The first place to start is with establishing, and communicating, the house rules have not gone away, even though Caitlin has been away from the house for the past 10 months. Things like curfew times, noise levels, keeping up with assigned household chores and friends coming over will all be redefined and enforced.

Being part of a family is a privilege. The ability to enjoy a comfortable home, food in the fridge, cable television and a computer with a fast Internet connection all come with responsibilities. The most fundamental of these responsibilities is to be accountable and to follow the family-approved rules. No one is exempt for these and there are no exceptions.

2. Set Boundaries. I have resigned myself to the fact that the peace and quiet Mary Beth and have enjoyed since last August will be interrupted over the summer months. This is not an indictment or criticism about Caitlin’s behavior; it’s just being honest to say our house has a lot more energy in it when our daughter is here.

With that said, my wife and I still have a right to privacy and to our personal space. It’s important for all of us to have some personal space to retreat to when the need arises.

3. Caitlin’s Contributions. In addition to respecting the house rules, there is also an expectation our daughter will contribute to the family in other ways, too. Helping with dinner, getting Emily, our younger daughter, to and from where she needs to go, and pitching in with the laundry will all be expected contributions.

When children return home, they should not be considered as invited guests, but as fully engaged and productive members of the family. Their contributions, however, are not limited to how they can help their parents; their presence, spirit and love are all valuable contributions as well.

4. Cultivate an Adult Relationship. It’s very fulfilling watching our children grow up and grow in to becoming mature and responsible adults. An expectation Catlin may have this summer is to be treated as an adult – I can’t wait to meet her expectation.

We invest some much time and effort in our children when they are young. This investment yields very, very favorable returns when we get to experience them as adults.

The years of reading bedtime stories and believing in Santa Claus are indeed magical. The time spent talking about who should win the next presidential election over a cold beer can be just as delightful. Gradually, and without much notice, our children become our friends.

I’m looking forward to finding out more about the reasons behind Caitlin’s choice for president. I’m looking forward to nurturing an adult relationship with my daughter this summer.

5. Create an Exit Strategy. As the August days begin to get shorter, so will our time with Caitlin. With every homecoming, there is also a farewell.

When my daughter pulls up into the driveway in a couple of weeks, no one will be thinking about the day she will need to back out and head for Lawrence. It will be important to drop-in reminders of the inevitable departure along the way.

Within a few days of her return home, we will quickly develop a new routine and grow accustomed to her new-found presence in the house. We will also need to help transition her back to her college life.

Shopping for new items for her apartment, gradually giving her more autonomy as the summer wanes into the fall, and planning the Thanksgiving holiday details when we will unite as a family again, are all things we can do to help with the transition from the nest and back into her independence.

Thomas Wolfe may suggest “you can’t go home again,” but you can welcome your child home again and begin building a new relationship that can be sustained for the rest of your lives together.

Read more from Alex Blackwell at his blog, The Next 45 Years.

First, I have been working hard on finishing my book … it’s going well, although slower than I’d anticipated, and I’m finishing it up this week and next. That’s been taking up a lot of my time, obviously, but I’m excited to have a completed book!

Second, I had a bit of a family medical situation. It’s nothing serious, but it did take away from my blogging time. It’s pretty much resolved now and everything is fine, so please don’t worry. Life throws little speed bumps in your way once in awhile. :)

Third, I’ve really increased my exercise recently and am training for a triathlon. I’ll post more about my training and progress very soon. But with increased training has come decreased time for everything else.

The result of these three things has been less time and focus for my blogging, which I am beginning to miss desperately. So you’ll see me writing here more and more, especially after I finish my book. I’d like to thank you all for your patience!

New Blog Network

In other news, Zen Habits has joined the 9Rules blog network (see the logo at the bottom of my sidebar to the right). This won’t mean much for regular readers, except that you can always click on the logo and check out a bunch of other great blogs. Seriously, there are some good ones there, but be warned: it can be addicting.

For Zen Habits this just means that more people will have a chance to see my content, which is always a good thing. While I’m not focused on growing my readership in leaps and bounds at this point, I’m always happy to find new friends.

New Venture

One last thing that’s been taking up my time is a new venture I should be announcing in the next week, in partnership with a close blogging friend. I can’t give details just yet but I’m excited about it and think that it will help many people in the same way that Zen Habits has, sharing useful information that works.

Best of Zen Habits, April 2008

April was obviously a slower month than usual, but we still had some good posts you might have missed. Here are the best from April:

• The Incredible Power of Contentment
• 18 Five-Minute Decluttering Tips to Start Conquering Your Mess
• The Rules of the Unbelievable Lightness of Being Club, and How I’m Gonna Get in Shape
• 13 Things to Avoid When Changing Habits
• Simple Manifesto: Break Free from the Tyranny of the Clock
• The Seven Deadly Sins of a Relationship

Also see (this is a great way to go back through the archives):

• Best of March 2008
• Best of February 2008
• Best of January 2008
• Best of Zen Habits 2007
• Best of November 2007
  
• Best of September and October 2007
  
• Best of August 200
• Best of July 2007
  
• Best of June 2007
  
• Best of May 2007
  
• Best of April 2007
  
• Best of March 2007
  
• Best of February 2007

Focus is something of a novelty these days. We’ve got cellphones for texting and calls, IM, Twitter, Email, RSS feeds, Facebook, Myspace… the list goes on and on. If you don’t have ADD before you start working online, it seems it’s almost inevitable thanks to these inputs. If you’re a web worker who uses the Internet for the majority of the day, you’re especially at risk for losing focus.

Focus is something that must be fought for. It’s not something that automatically switches on when you want to. You have to make sure your surroundings are perfect for working if you want to be focused. Here’s a few ways I’ve found this to work:

1. Use offline tools. Paper products, pens, and other physical tools are a Godsend for those of us who have a hard time focusing throughout the work day. They’re so simple that we can use them quickly, without having to worry about becoming distracted.
2. Take more breaks. More breaks = More productivity. It may sound wrong, but it’s true. Breaks allow us to re-group our thoughts and focus for the task at hand. They also keep us fresh so that we don’t end up burning out after only a few hours work.
3. Smaller tasks to check off. When you’re planning your day, make sure that your “action steps” (aka items in the checklist) are small actions. Instead of “Paint living room”, try breaking it down into many tasks, like “buy paint, buy rollers, pick colors” etc.
4. Keep a steady pace. Don’t try to do to much. Keeping the pace manageable allows you to keep your focus. Unfortunately, people can confuse this with “Work till you drop without breaks”. See number 2.
5. Keep a daily “purpose” card. It’s pretty easy to get lost staring at the computer all day long. We’ll find rabbit holes to wonder down (ie. Youtube, Myspace, etc.) if we’re not careful. Having your daily purpose card gives you clarity and a reminder as to what you’re doing today.
6. Develop the mindset that the computer is only a tool. It’s easy to try and use the computer for too much. At its core, the computer is merely a tool (albeit a freakin’ awesome one) that allows to do work more efficiently. If we’re using it as something more than that, (like as a solution for your life), you’ll ultimately fail. It’s like trying to eat a steak dinner with only a spoon.
7. Plan your day to the T. If you’re finding sporadic periods of laziness throughout the day, it could be because you don’t take enough breaks (see #2), and you don’t have the day mapped out as efficiently as you could. Make sure your list of todos has lots of small, actionable steps that can be done quickly. This will gives a really satisfying feeling when you’re crossing things off your list like crazy.
8. Notice your lazy routines. Everyone has recurring lazy spots throughout the day. Plan to have your breaks for those times. You’re going to be lazy then anyway, right?
9. Plan the night before. Planning the night before is a great way to really get focused on the next day. “Sleeping” on your tasks and goals for the following day can really help your mind expect what’s going to happen the next day. Essentially, you’re preparing your mind for the following day. Advanced focus.
10. Turn off extra inputs. These are IM and email for me, but we all have our Achilles heel. Completely turn off any distracting piece of technology that you own. Every one of these inputs tries to steal bits of your focus. And they won’t rest until they do.
11. Set time limits for tasks. There’s no motivation like a deadline. Giving yourself real deadlines is a great way to stay motivated and focused on the task. Given the fact that we human are natural procrastinators, it’s no surprise that we’ll take as long as we’re allowed to finish something. Setting real but attainable limits is a great way to keep the project humming, so to speak.
12. Keep a journal of what you did throughout the day. I like to use a moleskine notebook for my lists just so I can go back and review it every now and again, to see what I’ve done. Knowing how far you’ve come can keep you sharp and motivated to finish.
13. Use programs to track where you spend your time. This is a real eye-opener. Knowing just how much time you spend every day/week/month on a certain site or with a certain program can quickly show you where your priorities lie. I recommend Rescue Time, but there are many others.
14. Visualize the day in the morning, before it starts. A little pre-work meditation on the day’s events is a great way to start the day off focused and productive. Don’t worry about a full 30 minute session, a quick review before you start the day is fine.
15. Start the day right. Starting the day with a good breakfast, some quiet time and/or exercise is a great way to set your day up for success. Sounds like a cliche, but it really works.
16. Clean yourself up. It’s why my track coach in high school made us dress up for big races: you perform the way you feel. And if you feel polished, groomed and ready, you’ll be more likely to be productive. For me this is just taking a shower, brushing my teeth and putting on casual clothing. I used to work all day without taking a shower in my PJ’s, but I never got much stuff done. Let’s be honest here… if you’re dressed really casually, odds are you’ll be working really casually. Just taking the time to clean up a bit before you buckle down for the day is never a bad idea.

For more from Glen, check out his great productivity blog, LifeDev. He’s also the co-owner of the LifeRemix blog network.

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“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” - Emily Kimbrough

While I can’t claim to be the world’s foremost expert on relationships, I do know that my wife and I have a very strong marriage, and have never been more in love.

I’ve failed at marriage before, but that’s helped me become better at it. I’ve learned the deadly sins of relationships, and how to recognize them and avoid them.

A reader, newly married, asked me to share my tips on how to make a marriage work. I wish I had a magic formula, but here’s a simple list of tips:

• spend time alone together;
• appreciate each other;
• be intimate often;
• talk and share and give.

But just as important as what you should do is what you shouldn’t do — and I’m sure many of you have stepped into these pitfalls yourselves. I know I have. I’ve learned from my mistakes, and have learned to recognize when I’m making a fatal error, and how to correct it.

If you can avoid these seven things, and focus instead on doing the four things above, you should have a strong relationship. I’m not going to guarantee anything, but I’d give you good odds. :)

1. Resentment. This is a poison that starts as something small (”He didn’t get a new roll of toilet paper” or “She doesn’t wash her dishes after she eats”) and builds up into something big. Resentment is dangerous because it often flies under our radar, so that we don’t even notice we have the resentment, and our partner doesn’t realize that there’s anything wrong. If you ever notice yourself having resentment, you need to address this immediately, before it gets worse. Cut it off while it’s small. There are two good ways to deal with resentment: 1) breathe, and just let it go — accept your partner for who she/he is, faults and all; none of us is perfect; or 2) talk to your partner about it if you cannot accept it, and try to come up with a solution that works for both of you (not just for you); try to talk to them in a non-confrontational way, but in a way that expresses how you feel without being accusatory.
2. Jealousy. It’s hard to control jealousy if you feel it, I know. It seems to happen by itself, out of our control, unbidden and unwanted. However, jealousy, like resentment, is relationship poison. A little jealousy is fine, but when it gets to a certain level it turns into a need to control your partner, and turns into unnecessary fights, and makes both parties unhappy. If you have problems with jealousy (like I once did), instead of trying to control them it’s important that you examine and deal with the root issue, which is usually insecurity. That insecurity might be tied to your childhood (abandonment by a parent, for example), in a past relationship where you got hurt, or in an incident or incidents in the past of your current relationship.
3. Unrealistic expectations. Often we have an idea of what our partner should be like. We might expect them to clean up after themselves, to be considerate, to always think of us first, to surprise us, to support us, to always have a smile, to work hard and not be lazy. Not necessarily these expectations, but almost always we have expectations of our partner. Having some expectations is fine — we should expect our partner to be faithful, for example. But sometimes, without realizing it ourselves, we have expectations that are too high to meet. Our partner isn’t perfect — no one is. We can’t expect them to be cheerful and loving every minute of the day — everyone has their moods. We can’t expect them to always think of us, as they will obviously think of themselves or others sometimes too. We can’t expect them to be exactly as we are, as everyone is different. High expectations lead to disappointment and frustration, especially if we do not communicate these expectations. How can we expect our partner to meet these expectations if they don’t know about them? The remedy is to lower your expectations — allow your partner to be himself/herself, and accept and love them for that. What basic expectations we do have, we must communicate clearly.
4. Not making time. This is a problem with couples who have kids, but also with other couples who get caught up in work or hobbies or friends and family or other passions. Couples who don’t spend time alone together will drift apart. And while spending time together when you’re with the kids or other friends and family is a good thing, it’s important that you have time alone together. Can’t find time with all the things you have going on — work and kids and all the other stuff? Make time. Seriously — make the time. It can be done. I do it — I just make sure that this time with my wife is a priority, and I’ll drop just about anything else to make the time. Get a babysitter, drop a couple commitments, put off work for a day, and go on a date. It doesn’t have to be an expensive date — some time in nature, or exercising together, or watching a DVD and having a home-cooked dinner, are all good options. And when you’re together, make an effort to connect, not just be together.
5. Lack of communication. This sin affects all the others on this list — it’s been said many times before, but it’s true: good communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship. If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. If you are jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities. If you have expectations of your partner, you must communicate them. If there are any problems whatsoever, you must communicate them and work them out. Communication doesn’t just mean talking or arguing — good communication is honest without being attacking or blaming. Communicate your feelings — being hurt, frustrated, sorry, scared, sad, happy — rather than criticizing. Communicate a desire to work out a solution that works for you both, a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change. And communicate more than just problems — communicate the good things too (see below for more).
6. Not showing gratitude. Sometimes there are no real problems in a relationship, such as resentment or jealousy or unrealistic expectations — but there is also no expression of the good things about your partner either. This lack of gratitude and appreciation is just as bad as the problems, because without it your partner will feel like he or she is being taken for granted. Every person wants to be appreciated for all they do. And while you might have some problems with what your partner does (see above), you should also realize that your partner does good things too. Does she wash your dishes or cook you something you like? Does he clean up after you or support you in your job? Take the time to say thank you, and give a hug and kiss. This little expression can go a long way.
7. Lack of affection. Similarly, everything else can be going right, including the expression of gratitude, but if there is no affection among partners then there is serious trouble. In effect, the relationship is drifting towards a platonic status. That might be better than many relationships that have serious problems, but it’s not a good thing. Affection is important –everyone needs some of it, especially from someone we love. Take the time, every single day, to give affection to your partner. Greet her when she comes home from work with a tight hug. Wake him up with a passionate kiss (who cares about morning breath!). Sneak up behind her and kiss her on the neck. Make out in the movie theater like teen-agers. Caress his back and neck while watching TV. Smile at her often.
8. Bonus sin: Stubbornness. This wasn’t on my original list but I just thought about it before publishing this post, and had to add it in. Every relationship will have problems and arguments — but it’s important that you learn to work out these problems after cooling down a bit. Unfortunately, many of us are too stubborn to even talk about things. Perhaps we always want to be right. Perhaps we never want to admit that we made a mistake. Perhaps we don’t like to say we’re sorry. Perhaps we don’t like to compromise. I’ve done all of these things — but I’ve learned over the years that this is just childish. When I find myself being stubborn these days, I try to get over this childishness and suck it up and put away my ego and say I’m sorry. Talk about the problem and work it out. Don’t be afraid to be the first one to apologize. Then move past it to better things.

“I felt it shelter to speak to you.” - Emily Dickinson

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“But what minutes! Count them by sensation, and not by calendars, and each moment is a day.” - Benjamin Disraeli

For tens of thousands of years, human beings didn’t have clocks. They lived, amazingly, by the sun and the moon and seasons and the needs and rhythms of their bodies.

The clock is a very very recent invention, and even more recent is our modern society’s slavish adherence to the dictatorship of the clock.

Only very recently have we been forced to work from 8 to 5, and to go to school and follow a very rigid class schedule. Only very recently have we become obsessed with tracking and making use of every minute, so that we have things to do when we’re waiting for other things to happen.

Only recently did we begin to lose our humanity, begin to lose the art of conversation and the art of listening to our bodies, begin to lose sight of what’s really important and begin to become robots.

I’m as guilty as anyone else, but as I simply my life I begin to question the culture that surrounds me and wonder why it is that I feel so pressured to do things so quickly, by a timeline or schedule set by others, to be so productive when what I really want is to be happy.

Have you ever felt that way? I know I’m not alone.

I have a solution, and it’s not original I’m sure but it surely isn’t as common as it should be: break free from the clock. Get in touch with the rhythms of life, of your body and of nature. Be more relaxed and reject the notion that time rules us.

The Benefits of Being Free of Clockhood

Now, I’m not saying that we should throw our clocks and watches away (though I don’t own a watch) … I’m not saying we should all quit our jobs and go live in the woods. I know that my reality is different from most people, as I’m my own boss — but ask yourself, is it possible for you to be your own boss? And if not, is it possible at least to find a job where you can set your own schedule? For many people, it is possible. For others, you won’t be able to live all the tenets of this manifesto, but you can change smaller things, here and there.

Why should you change things? Because the clock is meaningless — we follow it without really realizing why. We follow it because we’ve been raised to believe we should, and because those who control us (bosses, corporations, schools, etc.) set schedules we must follow. The clock, then, is a means to control us — and that, in my book, is as good a reason to break free from it as any.

Beyond issues of freedom, breaking free from the clock is healthier. It’s healthier to follow your natural sleep rhythms, to eat when you’re hungry rather than when it’s time to eat, to live a more relaxed schedule rather than to be stressed out all the time trying to meet deadlines and follow artificial schedules.

How to Break Free

It’s probably not advisable to try to change your life drastically, if you are interested in breaking free of the clock’s tyranny. Change things a little at a time. Below are a few things I’ve been doing, or that I’m trying to do, that you might consider. You don’t have to do all of them — pick one and give it a try, and see if it is useful. The list, of course, isn’t comprehensive, but I hope it helps you spark some ideas of your own.

1. Don’t eat on the clock. Why do you think we’re taught to eat “three squares a day”? In human history, this is a very strange concept. People used to eat when they were hungry (or at least, when the food was available), not at predetermined times of the day. The answer, of course, is that it is a better structure for industrialized corporations — people, in the early days of working in factories, had to be broken from their natural eating patterns and only given one meal break a day. Too many eating breaks means lost profits! So we learned to eat before work, then once during work, then after work. Partly as a result of that, we’re ravenous during lunch and dinner times, and we overeat. And we eat unhealthy stuff because of our ravenous hunger, and we get fat. Instead, learn to listen to your body, and eat when you get a little hungry. Grazing is a good thing, actually. Eat healthy stuff if you can, and don’t eat beyond what it takes to satisfy your body’s hunger. Don’t eat if you’re not hungry just because it’s time to eat. Learn to trust your body’s hunger signals, and you’ll become much healthier.
2. Don’t work on the clock. We work on set schedules for the same reason — for corporations to maximize profits. But we don’t need to be controlled by corporations. If you have the chance to set your own schedule, learn to find the times when you have the most energy, and do your important work at these times. Learn to follow your passion, and do work that gets you excited, and you’ll do a better job. Many companies these days allow people to change their schedules and work from anywhere — these are the companies you want to work for (unless you can find a way to work for yourself). These are the companies of the future, that recognize that people aren’t robots and need to be able to work whenever they want, as long as they get the work done.
3. Do fewer things. This is a maxim of Zen Habits, of course — do the important stuff, not just busywork. Do less, but focus on the high-impact stuff. I’m repeating it here because it’s an important cornerstone of the clockless method: if you do fewer things, you can do them at a more relaxed pace, instead of rushing to try to do everything within a set schedule. This rule applies not only to your work life, but to your life in general — do fewer errands, chores, civic activities, etc. in order to have a more relaxed schedule.
4. A more relaxed schedule. Once you’ve learned to do fewer things, and to work when your energy is high, you can learn to structure your day at a more relaxed pace. Leave lots of space between appointments so that you have transition time to get ready, to get to where you need to go, to finish up what you were doing, without having to rush. Or better yet, avoid making appointments. Know what you want to do today, but do them in any order you like and at whatever time works best for you.
5. Meditate and/or exercise. These two related activities allow you to get more in touch with yourself, you inner mind, and with the world around you. If you sit in an office all day, when will you get outside to breathe fresh air and see what the sky looks like? If you don’t stop doing the million things you do every day, when will you be able to close your eyes and listen to what is happening within you? While you don’t need to meditate or exercise every day, I highly recommend it.
6. Take naps. Naps have been given a bad name (though they seem to be making a comeback), mostly because people who take naps are seen as lazy. Yet in many countries outside the United States, people take regular naps in the afternoons (think siestas) and in my opinion, this is a more enlightened way of living. Since working from home, I have discovered the power of the nap, and have come to look forward to it almost as much as I look forward to exercise. When you find yourself getting tired in the middle of the day, listen to your body and sleep.
7. Learn to listen to your intuition. We have become out of touch with our intuitions. Now, I’m not a new-agey hippy type (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but I do believe that listening to our bodies and our non-rational minds has a lot of value. It is healthier and saner. However, it’s not easy to learn — it takes time, and it takes listening. Try it today, and see if you can stop resisting your intuition and live more in tune with yourself.
8. Take time to talk and connect. How many times have you run into a friend or family member, said a quick hello, and then moved on because you were in a hurry? When did we lose touch with our fellow human beings? I believe that this is a key to our dehumanization, to our becoming robots: we no longer connect with other people as much as we used to do. We’ve lost the skills necessary to have an enjoyable, relaxed conversation. We’ve lost the institutions that encourage discussion and debate and thinking and participation. Instead, we watch TV and stare at the computer and sit in our cubicles and our one-person cars and rarely if ever make human contact. This separation disempowers us (if that’s even a word, but it should be), and makes us powerless and inhuman. Instead, next time you see someone you know (or even if you don’t know them), stop, breathe, smile, relax, talk, listen.
9. Spend time on the important things. Another maxim of Zen Habits, of course: learn to step back and think about what’s important in your life. Learn to spend time doing these things instead of the things that have naturally come to fill your life. Forget about schedules and clocks and instead focus on what’s important. You’ll be glad you did.

“Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.” - Henry David Thoreau

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—

Note: Thanks, everyone for your patience while I was on leave. :) The combination of my illness and a looming book deadline kept me away, and you all have been wonderfully understanding. Next week, I shall have more posts but I won’t be around much for comments because I am finishing up the book!

I was going through my daily RSS health reading when I came across an article in the NY Times. By now, you should know what it’s about: blogging being “bad” for your health. Being the curious soul that I am, I went over and read the article and it got me thinking about my blogging health.

Well, the article basically says that blogging can kill ya! And it has, allegedly, killed some. Of course that’s a bit overboard but it does bring up some good points about blogging, and life in general. Now, as an ever thinking being I always try to extract positive, worthwhile information from my experiences. Always. That’s just the way I have grown up to be.

You can die of natural causes no matter what your profession. You can even die if you are healthy. I have read of people that were in really good shape dying of heart attacks. But then you have my grandma that has been chain smoking for 75% of her life (she is in her 80’s) and she is alive and kicking. I honestly think that if she quit smoking she would die sooner. Anyway, enough death talk. My point is that it is crucial that a balance be found. Blogging is just another hobby, another job, another profession. It doesn’t kill people. Animals kill people. Um, I mean, people kill people. The actions we take, and medical conditions we are born with, are what determine our demise and health. There I go with the death talk again. No more. Pinky swear. Did you just do it? Because I did.

The people in the NY Times article weren’t as healthy as they could be because of their own lack of balance. Not because of blogging. Blogging was just the thing that they were obsessed about. It could have been anything though. Like mountain climbing or watching tv. Neglecting your health is YOUR fault, not anyones or thing’s fault (unless you are hospitalized or institutionalized).

The blogging world has seen a massive growth spurt and mainstream media is beginning to take notice. Like I said earlier, the article raised some interesting points. I believe that things should be done with balance and moderation. Once someone masters those two elements within themselves, they can begin to do anything. For me, blogging is a drug. It’s a way for me to express myself. It’s just plain fun. I have been blogging for almost a year now (got a bit more serious about it after a few months of playing around with the notion of exposing my fat pictures) and can honestly say that I am healthier because of blogging.

Get Healthy with Blogging Formula

How am I healthier you ask? It’s simple really. I blogged. I read. People read. I felt accountable for my weight loss and health. We formed a community. I felt inspired. They felt inspired. I lost weight. I got healthier. I blogged some more. Repeat. It’s a no-brainer really.

It all boils down to a person being able to make the distinction between balance and obsession. Wait, does that sound right? Let me think this out. I’m obsessed with the internet and blogging, but I am still able to find balance between life, health, family, and the web. Hmmm. So it doesn’t boil down to obsession and balance, it boils down to balancing obsessions and responsibilities/necessities.

Our mind and bodies need to be taken care of. Period. We need to eat healthy, be physically active, and entertain our minds. The thing many people fail to realize is that you only need 20 to 30 minutes a day of light physical activity to get healthier. Some folks need more than others but generally speaking 20 minutes is enough. Sprinkle in some veggies, fruits, water, and other healthy foods and you are on your way to a healthier lifestyle. All with only an hour of your time each day being used up. Now take 6 to 8 hours to sleep each day and that leaves you with 15 to 17 hours of “awake” time to satisfy your obsessions (assuming you took care of your other responsibilities that is).

A Pep Talk A Day, Keeps The Balance In Play

I use a quick mental checklist each day to help me stay balanced. It goes like this. After I wake up I give myself a pep talk. I tell myself that the day will be good and that I will accomplish my daily duties of being healthy and balanced. It works wonders because if I don’t make sure to fulfill my duties of being healthy (exercising, eating right) and balanced (spending time with family) then I feel like crap. And I really dislike feeling like crap. A LOT! So I have all day to make sure I spend at minimum a few hours with my family and get at least 30 minutes of exercise in. After many attempts I had mastered finding this balance. Guess what it took? Repetition.

At the end of the day it all boils down to are you happy with how you are living your life? If not, are you doing anything to change that? Are you balanced in life, family, health, and work?

Well, are you?

Read more from Israel at his blog, Fat Man Unleashed.

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