Photo courtesy of babasteve 13 Ideas to Keep Your Wedding As Simple As Possible
“My fiance and I are having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception; what he wants is to break off our engagement.” - Sally Poplin
I’m getting married at the end of this week! Actually, I’m getting re-married — my wife and I have been married for awhile now, but the first time was a super small civil wedding with no reception (we just went to a restaurant). This time we’re getting married in our church, with a bigger reception (300 people).
And while it’s a fairly large wedding, my wife and I have tried our best to keep this wedding as simple as possible. I’d like to share some of the things I’ve been learning for those of you who might be getting married in the future, and who don’t want a big complicated affair.
But I need to start by saying this: if you want a fairly traditional wedding, with the wedding dress and bridesmaids and a reception and all of that, there’s no such thing as a really simple wedding. A wedding can be simple, but only if you and your bride and a few friends go to the court and get married and go to dinner afterward (that’s what we did the first time, essentially). What we’re talking about in this post is the more complicated, traditional wedding, but with some traditions thrown out to keep things a bit simpler.
Even with our wedding plans a bit simplified, we’re still feeling the pressures of the wedding preparations, although things are definitely much easier than they could have been. Here are some ideas to take some of the stress off your wedding:
- Keep the guest list small. If you can pull this one step off, the cost for just about everything else will go down, and everything will be fairly simple in comparison. My wife and I weren’t able to pull it off. Well, in a way, we were — we both have extensive families, and on Guam, it’s custom to invite everyone (not only cousins but second and third and fourth cousins, and all the aunts and uncles and grandparents and children at each level). But we limited the guest list to just the first cousins of our parents, and that was an accomplishment. We added just a few close friends, when we could have invited dozens and dozens more. So we ended up with a list of 300 instead of 600, when I would have liked it to be closer to 150.
- Keep the menu simple. The biggest cost for us has been food, but we were able to keep it to a reasonable level because we didn’t go for an extravagant, fancy dinner. We didn’t choose a large amount of dishes and desserts either. We chose a few key dishes, all of them simple, and left it at that. While we would like people to enjoy the food, they are not coming there to have a fancy meal — they’ll be there simply to celebrate our marriage and enjoy our company. If that’s not enough for them, it’s not my problem.
- Have it catered. When it comes to food, you can go two ways — simple in terms of how much trouble it’ll be (go with a caterer) or simple in terms of costs (have family prepare food). On Guam, it’s customary for family to prepare the food, and we have lots of family that was willing to help. It would have saved us money. But we didn’t want to go through all that trouble — it’s a major hassle — so we went with simple, and we’re happy with that. This way, family can just get dressed and show up and enjoy the celebration.
- Get help, and delegate. While we saved our family from having to cook, we are asking for help from a few friends and family. Instead of trying to do all the preparations on our own, others are being enlisted. And trust me, they love to help. There are a lot of little details that need to be taken care of, and if you try to do everything yourself, you’ll be running around like crazy. Instead, allow others to help out, delegate certain tasks, and when they do them, check them off your list. It makes life a lot easier.
- Go with the easiest attire. For me and the other guys in our wedding party (my three sons, the father of the bride, and my best man), we chose the simplest attire in terms of how much work it’ll take, and that’s a rented tuxedo. Sure, we could have gone simpler, but we would have had to buy the suits, and that’s a lot of trouble trying to shop for attire that’ll fit all of us. Tuxedos are hassle free. For the girls, we had a cheap dressmaker (from a hole-in-the-wall shop) create some simple dresses for the little girls, then bought some very simple dresses (I mean really simple - like beach dresses) for the bridesmaids. The bride, of course, had a nice dress, but it was fairly inexpensive, with a pretty and classic look.
- Forget fancy invitations. Traditional wedding invitations have a couple different envelopes, tissue paper, some other paper, and that’s all before you even get to the invitation itself. It’s way too much trouble and too expensive for my tastes. So we printed our invitations ourselves, on our printer, on stock stationary we got at an office supply store. We didn’t even put them in envelopes or address them. We just printed two invitations per 8.5×11″ sheet of paper, cut the paper in half, and passed out the invitations like that. And instead of mailing them, we had family pass them out — we live on a small island, so there’s not a lot of driving involved.
- Don’t try to impress. This is key — if you try to impress people with your fancy wedding, you’ll go to a lot of trouble and expense. It’s really not worth it. Everyone has been to fancy weddings, and while they’re nice, they last for one day and they put you deeply in debt. We decided we’d rather stay out of debt, minimize our stress levels, and spend some of the money on our honeymoon. It really doesn’t matter to the guests anyway — like I said, they’re just there to celebrate your wedding, and don’t really care if you don’t go all out. If they do, that’s their problem.
- Keep the decorations simple. We’re going to have a few floral arrangements, some candles, and that’s it. Very minimal, very little trouble, very little expense.
- Simple favors. We’re going to have some traditional Guam-style candy (coconut candy), put in little inexpensive favor boxes. And that’s all.
- Simple entertainment. We’ll have some traditional island-style cultural dancers, an accoustic musical group, and that’s all.
- Have a coordinator. This doesn’t have to be a fancy wedding coordinator, but can simply be a family member who you trust to run things according to your plan. If you have someone else taking care of all the details on the day of the wedding yourself, you don’t have to worry about it, and can relax and enjoy the festivities.
- Hold it early in the day. Our church ceremony will take place at 9:00 a.m., and the reception will start at 11:00 a.m., so it’s a lunch buffet. This minimizes costs, and allows us to finish early and go to our hotel room afterward before we’re completely exhausted. Plus, it’s on a weekday (Friday), so many people will have to go back to work after lunch, meaning the party won’t last that long and there won’t be any drinking. That keeps things even simpler.
I’d like to hear from the rest of you — what are your ideas to keep a wedding simple?
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” - Rita Rudner
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- Posted on 15 June 2008 in Simplicity |
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Comments (97)
Vered Says:
June 15th, 2008, 19:39 pm
My own wedding was super-fancy. I was very young, my parents were in charge and wanted to impress their guests, I guess. While my marriage is great, my wedding left me indifferent.
My best friends got married in her parents’ backyard. The guest list was small and consisted of family and close friends, her dress was simple, and the food was yummy, fresh- and minimal. It was one of the most romantic weddings I have ever attended.
I can’t really add anything to your list - I think it’s great - but I completely agree that fancy or expensive does NOT equal better.
Have fun at your wedding! It’s incredibly romantic that you are doing this.
dogatemyfinances Says:
June 15th, 2008, 19:50 pm
If I got an invitation to a dry, morning wedding on a weekday, I would just assume it was fishing for presents. Things must be very different in Guam. Other than that, great list.
Leo Says:
June 15th, 2008, 19:56 pm
@dogatemyfinances: We actually told our guests we don’t want any presents. :) We have everything we need already. I’m sure we’ll still get some, but I really don’t want any.
The morning, weekday wedding was actually not planned that way. It’s on a weekday because that’s our anniversary (June 20). It was supposed to be in the evening, but the place where we wanted it (it’s a little place on a cliffside with a splendid sunset view of the ocean) was booked that evening. So we moved it to the morning/lunchtime, and figured that it just made things simpler.
The guests we’ve invited are all close relatives and friends, and know we’re not fishing for presents. We just want them to celebrate with us, in a nice family way, without a lot of drinking.
andrea Says:
June 15th, 2008, 19:59 pm
Pick your top 3 most important things, spend most of your energy on those things and let the rest fall where they will … it saved me and my husband a lot of headaches and stressed-out planning.
Selkie Says:
June 15th, 2008, 19:59 pm
While i sympathize with the idea of keeping it simple, i think maybe you took it a little to far.
Lunch? All fancyness aside, who enjoys a party in their lunchbreak as you suggest?
Your friends getting drunk and melancholic deep into the night while the lucky couple rides off to their honeymoon is, for me, the quintessence of a wedding…
Leo Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:04 pm
@Selkie: I hear you, but maybe we just have different kinds of family and friends. Mine will enjoy being with Eva and me, even if we only had some cheese and crackers. A drunken debauchery is fine, but I’ve got six kids, and all our friends and family have kids too … drunkenness isn’t appropriate for that kind of crowd. :)
Chip Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:04 pm
We scoped locations in Jackson Hole and Asheville when planning our wedding two years ago and could not get our heads around spending $50k+. We settled on Vegas. Had the wedding party meet us and chartered three helicopters to a riverside site in the Grand Canyon. A fabulous “rehearsal” dinner, helicopters & hotel cost us ten grand. My mother hosted a reception a week later back in North Carolina where we had a slideshow of the weekend running on a loop. What we saved was spent on two weeks in Europe a year later for our delayed honeymoon. Best decision(s) I ever made, other than asking her to marry me!
Shari Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:10 pm
My husband and I married 19 years ago and followed almost every aspect of this list. Our invitations were printed out, the guest list was tiny, the food was simple, and there was no booze. We held the wedding in his parents’ home and the whole thing (including my dress and gold rings) cost only about $500. We let people wear what they wanted to wear. We wrote our own vows and walked in together to classical music.
I wouldn’t trade our wedding for any in the world. It reflected who we are and what we value in our marriage (substance over style, togetherness, a lack of concern for impressing others with flash). In the end, I think that the most satisfying weddings will be a reflection of your values. If it isn’t, you won’t be happy with how it all turns out.
Adam Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:17 pm
Speaking of going into debt for marriage…
I’m trying to pay off a few debts, cars, credit cards, student loans, all while trying to afford my mortgage, and if I only had to do that everything would be fine. I want to get engaged to my girlfriend though, and that means buying a ring. It’s hard for me to think about charging another couple thousand dollars for a ring when I’m doing everything I can not to spend money so I can pay off my debts.
I’ve been trying to think of ways to make this work, but other than financing yet another thing, I can’t figure it out.
Andrew Flusche Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:23 pm
Awesome, Leo! Congratulations on this wonderful celebration!!
Our entire wedding cost about $2,000. We had a short guest list - around 75. We didn’t provide alcohol, and the food was simple finger foods. Our cakes were our present from a friend who owns a bakery, and my wife’s cousin did our photography.
In short, you can make it happen without spending a fortune. A friend spent over $125,000 on their wedding. Nobody needs to do that. What a waste.
dj libz Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:31 pm
i have not been married yet. but i do have advice for anyone who is head over heels in love with the idea of a wedding. my advice comes from personal experience. i was soo in love with the idea of geeting married i said yes to my high school sweetie, knowing that he would expect me to give up college and i wouldnt. as u can see that was not the best idea saying yes. so before you make the long haul, make sure you are in it for the signifigant other, not the cutsy idea of playing house. past that the tips listed above are all Very good things to keep in mind. when i finaly decide to tie the knot i will take these things into mind.
Ryan McLean Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:34 pm
Wow this is a perfect post for me. I am looking to get married in the next 9 months.
I have found a place that does the wedding ceremony on the beach and the reception at the same place. This will definately minimise the complexity (but I don’t know if we want to go ahead with this).
Also we are getting our friends to help out cost wise for things for the wedding (one friend makes wedding dresses, one friend does video movies for weddings, one friend does flowers, my auntie makes wedding cakes). This can really narrow the cost down a bit.
Also if you can make an extra income on the side it can make it easier. For me I’m running a financial blog to get some extra income in apart from my job to save up for the wedding.
Hope these ideas help everyone
Shanel Yang Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:35 pm
One of my sisters had a cozy wedding the backyard of our parents’ home. About 50 guests. All told, the entire affair, including officiant, dress, decorations, photos, video, DJ, cake, and plenty of cheap but delicious food and drinks must have cost less than $2,000! It was the most romantic and most fun wedding I’ve ever been to!
On the other hand, an old friend of mine borrowed thousands of dollars to have an extravagant wedding in a giant hall and served the traditional 12-course Chinese wedding banquet. Everyone at my table was stuffed after course No. 3, and some at our table literally moaned whenever a new course showed up.) She hadn’t even paid off her engagement ring yet!
Thanks for the great tips, Leo. I especially like No. 11. Another wedding I went to, my friend trusted a woman to coordinate everything. But, apparently she was not happy with the results because she was in tears before she even walked down the aisle! When and if my boyfriend and I ever get married, I’ll be sure to keep it simple and fun!
Sara Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:41 pm
We picked vendors we really trusted (DJ, caterer, photographer) and just let them do their thing. Absolutely no worries on the day of. Because we’re in Boise, it was all very affordable, but all three were worth just about any price.
And I loved having a simple dress! I was able to move around, dance, and hug people without my dress getting in the way. Fortunately, styles seem to be heading that way so there are beautiful dresses that don’t weigh 50 pounds.
I fully believe that the simplest thing you can do is go into it with a fun attitude and keep the guest list to those who are truly happy for you. No matter what happens then, you’ll have a wonderful, loving wedding. It might sound like a cliche, but it worked for us.
Tinydancer Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:42 pm
Consider your guests’ comfort and enjoyment and they will be impressed. Thoughtful touches like bathroom baskets and making sure there is water served if the ceremony is hot are things that go a long way - more so than cocktail napkins with your names on them. Most people won’t notice those touches.
scoby Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:43 pm
I recently saw a program about weddings on tv where a couple mentioned they were spending $15,000 on flowers.
I wanted to shout at the tv to tell them how silly they seemed.
We found a beautiful venue that would cater for 40 of our friends and family for €55 per head which was quite expensive . We didn’t spend any money on cakes, flowers or entertainment. We had a photographer for literally 1 hour and had a traditional Irish sing-song at the end of the night.
Once you invite people that care about you, you’re going to have a great time at whatever kind of wedding you organise.
KCCC Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:43 pm
I think the biggest tip is to keep a focus on what it’s all about. When I was stressing about our wedding, my very wise husband said “If we’re married at the end of the day, whatever else happens, it’s a success.”
Wise words - a lot of things went “wrong” (and made great stories later!) but we sailed through them all because we were focused on what mattered. And at the end of the day we were married…and 17 years later, we still think it was a great idea. :)
@Adam… You really can get married without ever having an engagement ring. Or have a really un-traditional one, which is what we did. Talk to your girlfriend… she may prefer being debt-free to having a diamond. (And if she doesn’t, talk a lot more. Money can be a big issue in marriages.)
@Shari - sounds like an absolutely lovely wedding!
SpaceAgeSage Says:
June 15th, 2008, 20:49 pm
My husband and I got married in our 30s, the first time for both of us. We had a niece create artwork for our invitations, which we designed our own computer. Instead of presents or typical wedding rituals, we invited everyone to help with food, cake creation, flowers, video-taping, music, etc. The help poured in until basically all we had to do was show up. We also asked everyone to be a candid photographer and send us their best shots. Even the kids and teens helped create an arch of flowers and fabric. They loved being a part of something normally reserved for adults. The outdoor wedding turned out like a storybook, and everyone walked away feeling happy to have had some part in it.
Chris Austria Says:
June 15th, 2008, 21:11 pm
Leo, like you, my wife and I had a civil wedding where the only ones there were my wife and I and the judge. We want to have a bigger wedding when we save enough money to have 100 of our close family and friends.
The best part of this wedding will be is that I can have my two older sons, 20 and 15, be my bestmen and our two girls, 18 and 11, be my wifes bridesmaid and our 3 year old will be the ring bearer…
While our wedding will be bigger than the first one, it will still be relatively simple and small. It’s not my style to have an extravagant wedding.
Thomas Herold Says:
June 15th, 2008, 21:11 pm
Don’t buy into the illusion that the wedding day should be the happiest day of your life.
Cheers
Thomas Herold
CEO Dream Manifesto
Jen Says:
June 15th, 2008, 21:13 pm
You wedding (renewal) sounds beautiful! Guam sounds like a wonderful place! I love how the Internet brings us all together. Anyway, what helped my husband and I keep our cool with wedding planning was to keep it fun. We focused on what was important to us, and what we thought would make our evening great, and we didn’t worry much about the rest. I liked how someone else say they let everything else fall into place. We also got lots of family support. We didn’t micromanage the way other people helped us. If it was something that wasn’t critical, I asked for help, and truly let them run that part of the show! It was a wonderful night.
Dasha Says:
June 15th, 2008, 21:18 pm
Leo, congratulations! Have a great wedding and a wonderful honeymoon!
@Adam - do you really need the ring? Does she really need the ring? Does it have to be a 1ct diamond? Do some soul searching and talk to her. Consider saphire rings, or vintage/antique rings. Is there a ring in your or her family that you’d prefer? If you you go with the traditional diamond, go with a solitaire - you save a lot of money on the setting, which you can later upgrade for a wedding anniversary to one that includes stones (if that is her thing).
Personally, my boyfriend and I have discussed the issue and decided against the diamond ring. It helps that it is not a tradition in our families. Once we realized that, we realized that our sense that a diamond engagement ring is “traditional” comes entirely from tv/movies.
Good luck!
Andrew is getting fit Says:
June 15th, 2008, 21:27 pm
My wife has always been inordinately proud of the fact that our catering budget was only $10. She even came in under budget!
Michael Moniz Says:
June 15th, 2008, 21:28 pm
It is funny how planning weddings is becoming some we make simple.
A lot of my gay clients in CA are getting married finally and most of them are going for simple. One: because it is a lot easier and Two: because they have been together so long. A lot of people already know about their relationship. They just get to legally be able to celebrate it.
jennifer Says:
June 15th, 2008, 21:57 pm
we got married at the courthouse ($40) and had a very low-key reception about 3 months later in a forest preserve ($25) with burgers and brats catered for about 100 family and friends ($2000 with beer and wine). plus Eli’s cheesecake, a local Chicago favorite normally $30-40 per cheesecake but we got the “scratch and dent” cosmetically imperfect ones from the factory (less than $100 for 10 full cheesecakes) my best friend’s NINE year old snapped about 400 amazing photos (her request for payment was a second piece if cheesecake)
it was amazing and was very enjoyable, memorable and affordable.
pril Says:
June 15th, 2008, 22:05 pm
Leo, THanks for the suggestions. I just got engaged. The wedding i plan is simple. but also for the family (it’s the first). I would like to offer a few suggestions. or just tell how i’m keeping it simple.
My dress is being made by my future grandmother.
the wedding and reception are at a park. Where are largest cost is the canopy or big tent and tables and chairs. with a pig roast and side dishes created by the family.
also to keep it for a family we are renting a large moonwalk jumping thing. With all of that and the extra’s i don’t expect to pay too much.. Just got to pray the weather works out!!!!
The dj well it’s my ipod with a pre made wedding playlist for certain times of the reception.
But the guest list.. well that’s another story! lol
Best wishes to you and your Again wife! BTW that is sweet!
Mrs. Davis Says:
June 15th, 2008, 22:32 pm
Congratulations! I agree with so much of what you’ve said.
My husband and I just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. We had a VERY small wedding — just 25 or so friends with us at a small chapel, followed by a “reception” in the back room of a favorite bar and restaurant with a few other friends who joined us there. We planned the whole thing in about 3 weeks.
I didn’t have an engagement ring — just a nice gold band. Although I did get a nice 10th anniversary ring. I’ve always said we’ll have our big party when we make it to 25 years.
Joel Falconer Says:
June 16th, 2008, 0:03 am
Great post, Leo. My own marriage ceremony was held at the park down the road, of course with a license from the local council (which was free). The reception was held in the my parent’s backyard where our two families co-lived at the time. My in-laws spent about $800 on the booze, and that was the most expensive part of it all. Guest list was only about 80 people, close family and close friends only (what’s with weddings where your parents want to invite their school friends who you’ve never met?).
It was the most entertaining wedding I’ve been to, and not just cos it was my own. It was a genuinely great time and not overly formal. Everyone could be themselves and have fun. My mother will kill me for posting this on the interwebs, but she passed out after a few bottles of wine, much to the shock of her own mother-in-law ;)
The point is, you can spend $30,000 on a huge wedding and have a miserable time. Or you can spend $3,000 and have the best, most entertaining and most poignant day of your life.
Laurie Says:
June 16th, 2008, 0:24 am
My wedding was extremely simple. Cake, nuts, mints, and punch to eat. Simple flowers. It took. I’ve been married 24 years now. If I had it to do all over again, I would do it even more simply and spend the money on the honeymoon where the real fun is! Maybe elope to Guam.
borogirl Says:
June 16th, 2008, 1:17 am
@dasha - agreed you really don’t need to have an engagement ring. I don’t and my wedding ring cost about $100, but its worth more than any diamond ever could be.
Everyone I know who has had crazy huge weddings has regretted it. Its so much money for just one day and the whole wedding industry is designed to make you feel guilty if you don’t spend top dollar for this most important day. I just personally would’ve felt sick spending the equivalent of a car or deposit for a house on my wedding.
Also, if you know people who are talented work in a certain industry, take advantage of that. We had family friends who were florists who did all of my flowers for my wedding. I was living in the UK at the time so went and bought them a present from Harrods which cost me about $80 which she got incredibly excited about.
Kev Says:
June 16th, 2008, 1:19 am
Hi guys,
I got married last year. My wife and I had similar issues in that she wanted a traditional wedding and I would have been happy to elope. However, I realized that this was my partners dream day and was prepared to make many compromises to make her happy. (Maybe not a good sign your partner wants to call it off?) Anyway, we did many of the things that Leo suggested to make it as cheap as possible but I would like to add a few more suggestions. It is often all the little extras that add up expenses.
First, we bought both rings from ebay, I got a Tugsten ring for 99 dollars that will never break, scratch, or tarnish (very poetic), and she got a platinum ring to match the engagement ring (that we bought from a pawn shop but both fell in love with) for something like 300 dollars, or about 1/3 of what it would cost to buy from a store.
We also got her wedding dress from eBay for around 300 as well, we got it early and figured if it wasn’t nice we could always splurge on one from a store costing upawrd of 2000 dollars. My wife went and tried these on and then found the exact same design on eBay. When the dress eventually arrived it was the same quality as the one in the store and required few adjustments (my advise with this is to choose a simple design, complicated ones could be botched)
The invatations we ordered from the internet as well, a simple card with details and location printed on the front. We added a map and details of places to stay for overseas guests ourselves. (forget how much this was but it was cheap)
My wife was previously a flourist so we ordered flowers in bulk and she made the arrangments the day before (I would not recomend this at all however, too much undue stress on the bride)
We asked my brother in law, a camera enthusiast, to do the pictures for free. This was very successful and really all you need in the end are a few good shots, no need to subject unsuspecting friends to hours of slide shows etc.
However, for people who couldn’t make it, such as my Grandparents who live in Canada we had a friend carry around a video camera and film the ceremony and interview guests, I then put this together in Adobe Premier later and it was much appreciated by those we sent it to.
The cake was made in advance by my mother in law who has an excellent recipe for christmas cake that everyone loves and decorated simply with flowrs and ribbon.
We hired a friend of a friend as a DJ on the cheap and put together a list of tracks that we liked from our own collection of music.
One thing that we didn’t skimp on was the food, however, what we did do was make in into a cocktail party instead of a sit down dinner, of all the weddings we have been too this type of 3 course meal has never really been great. Instead we had a wide variety of substantial finger food that prooved more that enough for the guests.
We also got a good deal on some of the local wines that we loved and limited what was on offer to beer and wine (don’t want the guests too pissed).
The important thing was that we made each choice based on what we liked and with our own natures and proclivities in mind. Nothing was done simply because we thought that was how a wedding is supposed to be, everything was there because we wanted it to be there. It is very easy, when you start to plan to get caught up in the “wedding” thing. If you read all the wedding magazines you begin to believe that everyone has to spend at least 50,000 dollars to have a good wedding, in the end, with a 130 guests we did ours for 9,000 and payed for it all upfront with no debt.
In the end its your day and the important thing is that you and everyone else has a great time.
Amanda Says:
June 16th, 2008, 1:26 am
My own wedding is incorporating a lot of hand-made and organic pieces. The guest list is around 100 people and although the most sizable chunk of the budget is going to feeding everyone, we went it to be a fun night for everyone, including the kids.
I’m keeping it simple by doing a lot of it myself and delegating out the bits that I can’t do myself (like baking, music, etc.). We’re not doing traditional centerpieces or even having a DJ. We’ll just rent a big screen TV and play Rock Band instead.
OrganizedFellow Says:
June 16th, 2008, 2:33 am
@Thomas Herold
Don’t buy into the illusion that the wedding day should be the happiest day of your life.
That’s the smartest ‘one-liner’ I have read so far!
Our wedding day was NOT the happiest day of our lives. Our happiest day was when she said YES. Another happy day was when we found out we were pregnant.
Another happy day was the birth of our first child, first crawl, first tooth, etc.
Our happiest days are shared together — not just one day, but many many many days!
Wedding Planner Deals Says:
June 16th, 2008, 3:04 am
The happiest day of a womans life is on her wedding day so on that day make it sure that all is organized on the plan. do not stress your self always give your best shots.
Bina Iceland Says:
June 16th, 2008, 4:12 am
I just got engaged 4 months ago and have been thinking a lot about how my wedding is supposed to be and love your list….and where I come from (Iceland) it is not the cost of the ring that matters it is what it stands for, and I do not even have a ring yet, we have been saving up for it and next month we will buy them and it is a lot nicer to be able to pay up front then to be paying of them for couple of years, even that both rings, that is for me and my boyfriend will only cost about 900 dollars and have in mind Iceland is one of the most expensive countries in the world to live in so they are really not expensive…..
I hope your “weddingday” will be great and love your blog…..
P.S. I have been able to keep my guest list limited to only 50 persons :) so hopefully I will be able to do the other things on the list ;)
Nic Wise Says:
June 16th, 2008, 6:03 am
My wife and I got married on a beach (Hahei) in New Zealand (we are from NZ). We started on a list of people, hit 50 before getting outside of brothers-and-sisters-and-partners, so said “screw it” and said “it’s on here, at this time, turn up (or dont)”. We put on some food (our best men organised it with a fixed budget), told people to bring some picnic food, and went out for dinner that night with parents/grandparents/best-men afterwards. Total cost, including clothes, accomodation, celebrant, photographer, was around $3000 NZ (about $1500 US at the time, about $2500 US now). We didn’t AIM to go cheap, it just happened we found people who did a great job, but didn’t cost the earth.
Was a fantastic day, because the only thing we had to worry about was the weather, and it was late january, so pretty good chance of it being hot an dry :)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/leoniewise/sets/72157594412744486/
Laura Says:
June 16th, 2008, 6:09 am
Hej,
okay now that’s kind of funny. Things must be pretty different in the US than in Germany - 300 people??? I never saw so many poeple on a wedding and that’s simple?
There will be around 60 coming to ours and that really is only the nearest family and friends because I feel you can’t talk and laugh with 120 poeple if we would have invited every far-away-third-degree-aunt.
ut it’s your wedding so it will work great for you. But simple in my terms is something else - you will be spedning thousands of dollars on a “simple” wedding, won’t you?
But I wish you a very nice day with nice people!
AWH Says:
June 16th, 2008, 6:21 am
My wife and I were married at a grand total cost of $300, back in 1993. It was a very nice wedding, I think. She borrowed a beautiful wedding dress from a friend, paid to have it professionally cleaned and prepped. I bought a new suit. Other than that, we only paid the minister’s gas (it was her brother, who had a long drive). The wedding was at our church, and the ladies of the church decorated with local greenery and prepared finger foods for the reception … and one of them made the cake. A friend who was a photog took the pictures.
Weddings don’t have to be expensive. Ours was very nice and simple. But, in the end, it’s up to the individuals.
chris Says:
June 16th, 2008, 7:17 am
Leo,
Is common in Guam to have a wedding early in the day and have the reception during lunchtime?
During my visits to the Philippines, I’ve noticed this to be the case, especially outside the big cities. And most of the time, the reception is held at either the grooms or the brides home with everyone, family and neighbors alike, pitching in to help prepare the food and festivities. There’s definitely a communal sense to the wedding, thus keeping the cost down.
Adam Says:
June 16th, 2008, 9:10 am
She is very traditional and it seems that the ring is important to her. Besides, she knows I make a lot of money and should be able to afford it. Honestly I should be able to, it’s just that I recently made paying off my debts my No. 1 goal and that’s all I’ve been focusing on.
Alex Shalman Says:
June 16th, 2008, 9:55 am
Many people break the bank on college, wedding, house - I think it’s awesome that you guys are in agreement on a simple wedding.
Many of my personal female friends dream of a big wedding, and want to get one at any expense! =)
Luca Says:
June 16th, 2008, 10:04 am
My wife and I had a fantastic wedding. Despite all the snafus (suffice to say that the location of both ceremony and reception had to be changed the day before), we had a blast. And people who attended have repeatedly told us that it was one of the best weddings ever, without being prompted. Last week, by the way, was our 10th anniversary.
I think I can attribute the success of our wedding to one guiding factor throughout preparations and the ceremony/reception itself: it was our party, we wanted to have fun, and the two of us were the top priority. If anybody else had fun as well it was nice, but only as a secondary objective.
We did have a blast, and we still think of it today as one of the best parties we’ve ever attended. I think that seeing us happy and relaxed made it a great wedding for everybody else as well.
Elizabeth Says:
June 16th, 2008, 10:58 am
@Adam- If you’re not averse to the idea, I’d recommend checking out pawn shops for the engagement and/or wedding rings. I love simple jewelry with clean lines, and my husband found me a 3/4 carat diamond solitaire on a simple white gold band for $700 (retail was $2,600)! We really didn’t care about any karma issues about using someone else’s engagement ring, and we were committed to not getting into debt over one day.
We had a large wedding, but were able to keep costs down because we have an awesome community of friends. I hate bridesmaid dresses, so I had my bridesmaids just find a black dress that they liked and that flattered their individual shape.
My mom’s best friend arranged my very simple bouquets and centerpieces with the roses we bought from Sam’s Club.
For food, we ordered 75 rotisserie chickens from Sam’s Club and cut them ourselves into quarters. We had tons of leftovers and were able to donate the extra food to a local homeless shelter.
Leo, congratulations on your marriage- it sounds like your priorities are exactly where they need to be!
Shelly Says:
June 16th, 2008, 11:05 am
The best thing I did to keep my wedding simple was to plan it in three months. So many people start planning a year or more in advance, and that’s where it starts to get out of hand. We were engaged for 9 months before starting to plan — I worried for months how I was going to plan it to please everyone else, then suddenly realized that it didn’t matter what anyone else thought.
We found the vendors we liked (mostly small businesses or people who did it out of their houses) and trusted them to know what they were doing. Our date was selected based on when the vendors were all free. We kept the wedding party small (two bridesmaids, two groomsmen), and I let the bridemaids decide on their dress style and color based on what looked best on both of them. We had our ceremony and reception at the same location (a small party house) and the planner there actually organized us the day of so we wouldn’t have to bother with a rehearsal. We had around 100 guests.
I didn’t worry about the details, and I’m so thankful that I didn’t. It was absolutely perfect, and no one could believe we put it together so quickly.
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map Says:
June 16th, 2008, 11:32 am
Hey congratulations on getting re-married! Whether the reception is big or small, I would say that the most important thing is to enjoy yourselves.
Also, thanks for sharing the nice quote from Rita Rudner.
Have an Awesome Wedding!
Evelyn
Meri Says:
June 16th, 2008, 11:58 am
I was married about a year and a half ago, had a fairly simple wedding, and have never regretted it for one minute. A simple wedding suited our personalities and the way that we live life.
We followed a number of the things that Leo listed above: small guest list (lucky we could do this, both small families…I understand that many people just cannot have a small guest list); simple decorations; the reception at my parents house; my dress was actually a bridesmaid’s dress in white, I think it was $200; our rings were simple and fairly inexpensive, my engagement ring was about $700. We also had the wedding later in the day. The ceremony was at 7:00pm and then people just popped over to my parents’ house afterwards for appetizers and some wine.
I personally don’t think there is an problem with not serving people a supper. I never think it’s cheap (I’ve since realized that many people do!). But maybe I don’t think it’s cheap because I think the amount people will spend on a huge wedding is utterly ridiculous. In all honety, I prefer going to a wedding where things are a little different: like with a BBQ, appetizers, a dessert reception, and so on.
Kris Says:
June 16th, 2008, 12:02 pm
A “simple” wedding is getting REmarried with tuxedos, favors, dancers and a guest list of 300? If this was your first wedding I’d applaud some of your suggestions, but to renew your vows this seems like anything but simple. That’s not to say I don’t wish you all of the happiness in the world though!
rosemarie1 Says:
June 16th, 2008, 12:04 pm
Another thing not mentioned - HEY… what about all the brides who spend the whole wad? Many of them are willing to pass along their stuff! Craigslist or http://www.Freecycle.com: post a “wanted: Wedding stuff - [be as specific as you like]
Or if some of your friends married in the past year, they’ll have lots of decor, etc. they’d love to have you rework.
Eric Says:
June 16th, 2008, 12:16 pm
Leo,
Congrats! The perspective I bring is of a guy who has married a lot of women, and a lot of men, too. (Yes, I’m a pastor.)
Here’s a really simple, really important step for folks who want a wedding at a church (not everyone’s cup of tea, I know): contact the church and speak to the pastor as far in advance as possible. Confirm the date and time. I have had folks skip this step, lock in a reception, and then find out that either the church is already in use, I am previously committed, or I will be out of town, or what have you. A simple, 10-minute phone call now can save you a lot of stress later. It will also make the pastor much happier!
I think most clergy would be more than delighted to work with a couple aiming for a simpler wedding. Many churches have a “wedding hostess team” (that’s what we call ours) that provides a hostess to work with the couple to manage all sorts of details so that they (the couple) don’t have to worry about them. The women who do this love it - they’re detail-focused romantics - and they take a lot off of the plates of the bride and groom (OK, mostly the bride).
Other quick clergy-perspective pre-wedding tips: find out if the church or pastor suggest or require pre-marital counseling before a wedding. Don’t assume that the pastor will come to the reception. If you want her or him there, send an invitation (and for their spouse if they’re married), and speak to them in advance about any blessing / meal grace/ whatever you’d like them to do. Don’t feel obligated to invite the pastor to the reception, though, unless the local culture of the town / church makes it an expectation. Most clergy, I think, don’t think it’s a necessity. Don’t have “a church wedding” in order to please family.
Thanks for a great blog!
Annette Bigler Says:
June 16th, 2008, 13:11 pm
One of the nicest, most romantic weddings I ever attended was a “group” affair. A minister’s daughter and her fiance planned a very small wedding and no frills to help her parents. It was a small church with little money. When the congregation heard about the simple wedding they decided their beloved minister’s daughter deserved better. So everyone got together, baked a beautiul cake, furnished the food. One lady even made the wedding dress. That was their gift to the young couple.
Harry Fowlus Says:
June 16th, 2008, 13:48 pm
I don’t think bigger is necessarily better.
Weddings can be nice without going overboard.
Brian Says:
June 16th, 2008, 13:51 pm
We had our wedding in 3 stages
(1) Courthouse wedding with parents followed by a very nice dinner. What a luxury to actually spend time with them and not have to circulate among dozens of guests. Very intimate.
(2) Reception with friends the following night. At a local pub with cheap food and drink. Paid the already-scheduled Karaoke guy to come 2 hours earlier. Walked home, set porch on fire–crazy crazy night.
(3) Picnic with family the following weekend. This game my moms a chance to do all the wedding planning type stuff. I asked for there to be no gifts but that didn’t happen.
Very simple, lots of time to spend talking with people, no one got slighted–it was perfect. A completely DIY wedding is intimate but a crapload of work that wears you out. This was soooooo easy!
Elaine Says:
June 16th, 2008, 13:59 pm
Congratulations Leo!
I’m getting married in less than two months (eek!) and found a few things to keep it simple.
- small guest list; ours is only 50.
- we’re having a reception at a restaurant, they’re not open for dinner service that evening and so they rent it for $50/hr, which is quite a bit below average. The food looks like it will be around $25/head which is also quite good for the area.
- ceremony is on a public beach; it’s free. Bonus: I don’t need shoes.
The most important thing, though, is basically what you advise for everything else. Pick about 3 things that are most important to you, do those well, forget about the rest. For me that doesn’t include flowers (I’ll probably go to the street vendor on the morning of to get a few, or maybe raid some gardens), a fancy dress (I got a vintage one for free that I’ll try to alter, if it doesn’t work I’ll go buy a simple sundress), a cake (we’re already having a different dessert), etc. Don’t feel pressured into thinking you need fancy bouquets or chair covers or cake toppers or toasting flutes or anything that you don’t feel really contributes to your having a nice day.
Lissa Boles Says:
June 16th, 2008, 13:59 pm
Hey all.
When I married I was in the opposite situation to the woman you wrote responding to, Leo.
A first-time bride at 38, I’d seen plenty of friends and relatives loose their minds for months (and indebt themselves beyond all reason) to have a fairy-tale, perfect day. With each wedding it seemed less and less fairy-tale, perfect or worth the expense.
So I was more than ready to opt for a quietly simple exchange of original vows before a minister on a beach somewhere.
My husband-to-be, on the other hand, is a family guy through and through. Even thought he’d been married (widower) before, it was very important to him that our family witness and share in the day with us, so we compromised and decided to keep a focus on the experience of real connection and genuine intimacy.
And boy, did that make our decisions easy – and set a wonderful tone for the whole day.
Having just 9 weeks to plan kept any urge to go bigger at bay, and our decision to have an early afternoon ceremony on symbolic New Year’s Eve Day (with a light buffet luncheon to follow) meant most people weren’t expecting an evening of revelry (we aren’t revelers, at least not the dance till you drop kind!).
Choosing to focus on a particular kind of experience vs a traditional kind of event meant we could be much more selective and personal. We chose a simple venue - a rustic country retreat centre with a very homey feel, including a huge fireplace and expansive windows to cozily enjoy the wintry rural landscape from.
We had both a male and female ministers, and wrote our own ceremony.
Immediate family and closest friends were our guests: final count was 53.
We created our own invitations and hand-delivered them, letting everyone know that any hand-crafted gift (accept food - we wanted them to relax and enjoy themselves) made for or to be used on the wedding day itself would be gratefully accepted (we both had households and really didn’t need anything accept wonderful memories). Otherwise, we preferred donations be made to the charity of their choice.
A friend in the wholesale flower business gave us 5 of the loveliest – and simplest – arrangements of roses and winter greens she made herself after asking what our color scheme was (my response – here’s pictures of the room and we’re wearing off-white so you decide!). Those, together with my simple, 5-rose bouquet, became keepsakes gifts to family, and the single roses from my bouquet went to the women most important in my life.
A couple who are great friends made me a beautiful winter-white turtleneck (had to see it – it was lovely) and two-layered chiffon & silk champagne-colored floor-length skirt. Simple, clean lines, and future party ready. I’ve worn both since and carried great memories of that day with me the whole time.
Our pictures were the gift of a friend with flair for black and white photography. He swears the mood of the day helped him produce some of his best work, and we love our photos.
And after the ceremony was over, we kicked off our shoes and acted as servers at our wedding luncheon, giving us the chance to connect and express our love and thankfulness to each person attending.
Then, at the end of the afternoon, the 12 closest to us remained to join us for a fun and informal dinner at a local restaurant.
Honestly, I’ve never had a more moving and heartful time – or more fun – than I did that day. And at least half a dozen times since people have written asking for the names of our ministers and a copy of our ceremony.
The cost for the whole shebang? Just $2745 (in 2000)…
Kittekaat Says:
June 16th, 2008, 15:14 pm
My wedding was in the backyard, attended by 150 of our closest friends and was super inexpensive and a blast! A DJ friend played CDs that I burned with the music I wanted for both the ceremony and the party. He brought his big sound system and we paid him with the leftover catering. We bought cases of wine from local vinyards from the “damaged labels” bin. Excellent quality and nobody cared (or seemed to even notice) that the labels were scuffed in places at all. We had disposable cameras sitting around instead of a photographer and the wonderful candids were a delight! A friend made the cake and we reimbursed her for the supplies. We grew the flowers for the bouquet and table arrangements and what was not cut for that decorated the stayed in the garden where the wedding was. A word of wisdom which luckily we received in time, decorate the cake with flowershop flowers, not garden flowers, so you don’t get bugs on your cake! (our garden was organic)
Happy Second Wedding Leo!
Marc and Angel Hack Life Says:
June 16th, 2008, 15:28 pm
In the end, a successful wedding breaks down to just 3 simple factors:
1. Inviting the right people
2. Playing the right music.
3. Providing a little booze.
Tina Su - ThinkSimpleNow.com Says:
June 16th, 2008, 16:02 pm
Gosh, I love this post, Leo! I also really enjoyed what others had to say with their own experiences.
Lots of people has been getting married around me, and it’s silly to learn afterwards how much money is spent on a one-day event. Most tells me afterwards that it’s just another day, with lots of people, they spent a lot of money and went home and continued their lives. :)
My boyfriend and I are starting to think about a wedding for next year. We both strive to keep life simple in all areas, so when it’s our wedding day, we’ want to keep it as simple as possible. You are right, most people don’t care about the details, they are there to spend the day sharing your joy and your company.
Here are some ideas that we’re thinking about:
- Have a destination wedding some where with nice weather, this will dramatically reduce the number of guests who can make it. We’d be happy to pay for close family who can’t afford the flight tickets. We’re estimating that the list of guests will be around 25 people.
- We’re both vegetarians and do not drink alcohol, so we won’t be having meat dishes and alcohol. The alcohol point should dramatically reduce cost.
- Reception: at the destination, we plan to use the deck for the hotel. It’s a small family run hotel facing the ocean at a very affordable price. We should be able to use the deck for free. We might need to rent some tables and chairs.
- Invitations: we think it’s silly how much traditional fancy-smancy printed invitations cost. I never know what to do with these invitations after receiving them: don’t want to throw away and don’t want to keep them. So we’re thinking of creating a nicely designed website and sending it out to people over email. We will also personally call people, since our list is small. I’m a designer, so the website is free.
- Photography: a friend of mine will be the photographer. He refuses to accept money. He doesn’t specialize in weddings, but is good enough. We also will be asking everyone to bring their digital camera if they have any to take photos of each other and from their perspectives.
- Music: creating a play list in itunes on our Mac, rent some nice speakers and have it on the deck where the reception will take place. I don’t think having a band playing is necessary. And why hire a DJ, when we can just play music we choose from a play list? Most DJs do the same with play lists anyways.
- Planning & Coordination: Like you Leo, we’re asking a close friend to become the ‘project manager’ helping us out. She’s a PM for a tech company and should be able to apply the same skills of “Getting things done” for this as well.
Anyways, thanks again for sharing, everyone. I love this post.
Tina
Mia Says:
June 16th, 2008, 17:05 pm
Thanks so much for the tips! I’m trying to plan my wedding right now, and I really want it to be gorgeous, but as inexpensive as possible…..this post was so helpful. I also found this ebook 1001 Ways To Save Money . . . and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding by Sharon Naylor. It has a bunch of really excellent suggestions….check it out!
Christopher Truman Says:
June 16th, 2008, 17:23 pm
Man, I wanna know who first decided that weddings needed to be so fancy and cost so much money! These tips might make it a success and save a few dollars, but it still makes a huge hit in the bank account! I’m sure that I’ll spend just as much money though because I’ll be sucker for my honey! :)
Liz Says:
June 16th, 2008, 17:28 pm
We had a fairly simple wedding six-and-a-half years ago.
It was a morning wedding, on a Thursday (which was a special date for us). We only had one bridal attendant each (ie 1 bridesmaid, 1 best man). The groom and best man wore black pants they already owned and we bought them each matching black shirts.
I bought a fairly simple dress, as far as wedding dresses go. My bridesmaid had an off the rack dress from a normal store.
We had flowers for bridesmaid and bride - gerberas with ribbon tied around. On the day my parents bought gerberas from a florist to put in vases in the church.
We hired a car - in the end it was simpler for us - but because it was a Thursday we didn’t have any stress over paying extra for going over time - he was just charging us a flat rate.
The reception was finger food lunch in the gardens of an old house, converted to a restaurant. We had heaps of kids and this meant they could run around at the reception. My mum made goody bags for each child with things for them to do at the reception - pencils, stickers, notepads etc. Guests were free to mingle as they pleased - no stressful seating arrangements to determine!
Dessert was our wedding cake. Gifts for guests was little boxes of rock candy. The guests were in “smart casual” - so jeans and collared shirts were fine.
It was a really relaxed day and everyone enjoyed it - I was told by many it was the best wedding/reception they’d been to since everything was so relaxed.
Liz Says:
June 16th, 2008, 17:30 pm
Also, we invited 92 (including us and had 72 people there… small numbers keep things much simpler. We would have liked fewer people but sometimes there are people you do need to invite.
Teresa Says:
June 16th, 2008, 18:01 pm
We got married in the backyard and in lieu of other presents, our friends pitched in. For example, one created lovely simple invites, another made a cake (we didn’t her to, she just did!), and yet another played music. We made our outfits with the help of a friend. (We do medieval reenactment and made stuff we could use again.) We’re a group of foodies, so we did a potluck and ate much better than any caterer would have provided, without any one subset of friends being put out. We did have alcohol, but some people brought wine as their potluck contribution, so it wasn’t too costly. Our decorations? Mini-rosebushes that were going to be tossed after an event I’d worked the week before. Otherwise, we’d have gone with the yard itself.
It helped that it was my husband’s second marriage, and that my mother was just happy to see me getting married at last to a great guy–and relieved we didn’t want some grandiose thing that she’d need to be involved in other than by showing up. (She worked at a museum that rented out for weddings and had seen one Bridezilla and one interfering mom too many at that point, I think.)
Great wedding, great party, and very low-cost.
Harry Fowlus Says:
June 16th, 2008, 18:33 pm
A lot of women think that if a wedding event isn’t big and long, it can’t satisfy–but as these posts prove, a smaller, shorter wedding can feel just as good and satisfy just as well. It’s not the size of the wedding that counts so much as how you use what you’ve got.
borogirl Says:
June 16th, 2008, 22:11 pm
I just remembered one wedding I went to that had a great idea. They put a quiz on the tables about the couple, like where they met, where he had proposed etc.
It was a great hit and got everyone talking on all the tables - especially where people didn’t know each other.
Maura Says:
June 16th, 2008, 22:17 pm
@Adam, carefully broach the subject with your lady first, but you can get a beautiful, classy pearl ring for a fraction of the cost of a diamond (much nicer than a skimpy diamond ring - my personal opinion) and save money without making your your engagement look like it’s done on the cheap. You can upgrade someday on your anniversary… once you’ve paid off your debts and accumulated some savings. Your honey will then have two beautiful rings to go with all her precious memories.
Just a thought.
Sarah Joy Albrecht Says:
June 16th, 2008, 22:44 pm
To keep it simple / inexpensive:
-Wedding party wore their own clothes - suits, and church dresses for girls. We tried to stick with earthy colors for the dresses. No one had to buy fancy dresses.
-Simple wedding gown that I bought at an antique store for $14. Had some alterations done to update for a about $100.
-Potluck dinner - and people enjoyed bringing their favorite dishes! What an delicious spread!
-Baby’s breath / candles in flower pots filled with sand for table decor.
-Reception in friend’s beautiful backyard
-Silk flower bouquets, which I still use for decorations
-Candid photography only - and we have some amazing shots!
The wedding story was picked up by the local paper for a “low budget wedding, and everyone who attended said that it was one of the most relaxing, enjoyable weddings they’d ever attended. We both have big families and a large church family - we were surrounded by people we love. Who could ask for anything more?
Celebrating nine years this August.
Reggie, ANother kid with Good Credit Says:
June 16th, 2008, 22:53 pm
If only my fiance read your blog…
Jess Says:
June 16th, 2008, 23:20 pm
Oh man, you’re soliciting comments, and here I am a bride-to-be, which means I cannot resist! I am getting married in October, and this is what my fiance and I have done to keep things simple:
- Keep the big goals in mind: The day will be a success if we gather our family and friends, get married, and have a fun party afterwards. (chronological order)
- Find a lower-cost locale: We live in the Washington DC area, which is very expensive. We are holding our wedding a few hours away in Williamsburg, VA where I went to college.
- No wedding party: No groomsmen, no bridesmaids. His friends would much rather sit in the back of the church and joke about how my fiance is a sucker for being the first to get married ;-) My 16-year-old cousin and just-graduated theatre major sister are my “un-bridesmaids”, meaning we do the fun stuff together but they don’t have to buy expensive dresses and custom-dyed shoes and stand up there the whole time. I told my cousin to buy a dress she will also wear to Homecoming this fall and my sister to buy something she would also wear to a show opening.
- The walkable wedding: For everyone’s convenience, the church is across the street from the hotel and the reception bar/restaurant is next door to the hotel. Lower rental car costs for those who fly to our wedding, and no limo costs for us!
- Reception venue and caterer are same company: We got a nice deal from the company. Our wedding will be the weekend of my college’s fall break, so they were looking at an empty house that weekend. They were willing to rent us the bar for our exclusive use because they knew we would pack it. Also, they save on transportation/equipment costs for catering the event.
- Cupcakes instead of a cake: This was about 30% the cost of a cake to feed the same number of people!
- iPod reception: No DJ, we are going to put together a playlist and plug the iPod into the bar’s sound system.
- Simple flowers: We are going with “in-season” flowers to keep costs down, and are not ordering things like pew arrangements or table centerpieces.
Did we go not-so-simple on some things? Sure. We are hiring a photographer, have an open bar with a choice of three entrees, and I bought my dress at one of the chain stores (though my simple taste meant the dress was relatively lower-cost). We made these choices and we are happy with them. We’re also lucky that both our families are very laid-back are happy to let us plan the day.
In the end, though, we think we are planning a nice mix of simple and not-so-simple that reflects who we are and our priorities for the day. (And the rest of our lives… friends and family, a good marriage, a great time!)
Alexa Gilliland Says:
June 16th, 2008, 23:48 pm
Another tip worth mentioning, instead of making a traditional gift registry and acquiring tons of clutter in the process, have your guests donate to charity in your name. I found the website JustGive, which lets you set up a “charity registry” of your favorite charities for guests to pick from, and I’m sure there other similar sites. I think it’s a lovely idea and I can’t wait to do it for my own wedding.
The website also has a list of other ways to make your wedding charitable, including donating flowers to retirement homes and donating in honor of your guests in place of party favors.
Anyway, I hope you have a beautiful wedding and I wish you and your wife the best of luck!
rj Says:
June 17th, 2008, 0:45 am
I’m actually planning my wedding so this post is perfect for my quest to keep it simple. I really like the idea of starting and ending early…thats unheard of around here.
OldSailor Says:
June 17th, 2008, 1:35 am
Very useful tips. What about gifts being presented to the couple in typical Indian marriages ? Are they necessary ?
The Castle Man Says:
June 17th, 2008, 1:40 am
Keep an eye on the pennies - put a spreadsheet together, and list all your suppliers. Once you get the total costs, work on gettting this figure down. You will be surprised at how much you realise you don’t need when you have total in front of you. JUST TAKE IT OFF THE LIST and keep it simple - When I got married, my wife and I and were able to reduce the final bill by 55% by using this technique.
Remember this is your day, it will fly by, and take a mental snap shot ever 15 minutes.
Also the best investment - and I know we are all different - is the wedding video - our children love to watch mum and dad getting married, and we have a lasting memory of our very special day.
v Says:
June 17th, 2008, 2:10 am
Marriage is nothing, you can get all the love, support and fun by lviing and believing in each other. What a fun that MARRIAGE can be which is not meant to keep any one happy…I married my husband on pressure by family cos we were kind of living together…and i found out he is drug addict and he used to hit me every month as a ritual…and I was os much in love with him, took all his crap cos I thought he never meant it…but hell ya!!! he meant every single hittings he gave me….and I found nothing in marriage but if I was living together with him then it would have been a different story…period.
V
