Discipline is an illusion; Motivate yourself instead

Reader Kamal posted a great question in response to my call for topic suggestions:

“I think discipline would be a good topic, as much of what you talk about requires a certain amount of it.

The Army was good for teaching me discipline, but I realized that in the end, it comes from within.

But still, like most things, it is a habit that one can work on over time.

Would love to hear your thoughts and experience on the subject.”

Let me start with the conclusion first: if you think you don’t have discipline, you don’t need it. What you need is to commit to your goal or habit and fully motivate yourself. Read on for more.

I think that most of us believe that discipline is something you either have or don’t have — some believe you are born with it, and some, like Kamal, believe it is something you can develop as a habit. But what exactly is it we’re talking about when we say the word “discipline”?

If I wake up early every morning to run, do I have discipline? Most people would say that I do. But, as someone who regularly wakes up early, and who runs frequently (not every day), I can testify that I for one do not have discipline. I am anything but disciplined, and never have been.

So how do I explain my ability to wake up early, and to run on a regular basis? Simple: I have adequate and varied motivation. I get up every morning, not out of discipline, but because I really want to — and have tricked myself into doing it. I get out the door and go for a run not because I’m super disciplined, but because I really want to.

Let’s take the example of someone in the military — the typical example of someone with discipline. Let’s say Sgt. Lamar is a tough Army man. He wakes up very early every day, goes through a strict morning routine, runs and does his pushups and situps, eats a moderate diet and keeps his clothes and living area spotless. He’s the epitome of discipline.

But I say he has motivation instead. Review the Top 20 Motivation Hacks for some of the reasons why:

Sgt. Lamar has signed up for the Army and all that that entails. He is a full-time military man, and everyone he knows is aware of this. He has fully committed himself to living a life of discipline, meaning he’s fully committed to all the habits of the Army: waking early, exercise, cleanliness, orderliness, etc. That’s the No. 2 of the Top 20 Hacks.
He’s in the middle of a mutually supportive competition. There is competition among his fellow officers about who has more discipline (wakes earlier, runs more, etc.) — Hack No. 3.
Sgt. Lamar has powerful reasons (Hack No. 8) to keep those habits going — to keep up his reputation in the Army, to promote his advancement in the organization, to set an example for those under him.
There are many more, but let me quickly point out others: there’s a system of accountability, public pressure, others above him who he must report to, rewards for sticking to the habits, the pleasure of accomplishing his goals and habits, workout buddies, visualization of his goals (even if he doesn’t realize it, Sgt. Lamar has a picture of what an Army man should be, and keeps that in his head each day). And then there’s positive thinking (Hack No. 1) — Sgt. Lamar doesn’t allow himself to think negatively, or to tell himself he can’t do it. He has no choice. If he does start thinking negative thoughts, he will soon be former Sgt. Lamar.

If you removed all of these motivations — the public pressure, the rewards, the positive thinking, the powerful reasons, the accountability, the full commitment, the mutually supportive competition — I believe that Sgt. Lamar would have no discipline.

Now, some people will think, “But Sgt. Lamar was disciplined even after he was in the Army. He’s still the most disciplined person I know, as a former military man.” That may be true (it’s not true in every case), but I would argue that he has maintained his habits from many of the same motivations — he is still committed, to everyone he knows, to being a disciplined former military man, and he has this public reputation to maintain. He probably also still finds pleasure in being an early riser, in exercising and staying fit, in looking clean and being orderly. I also argue that those who do not have those same motivations are those who are former military men who aren’t disciplined — and we all know just as many of this type as the former.

So how can you be “disciplined” about your habits? Get the right motivation (See the Top 20- Motivation Hacks for more). Here are a few tips:

Pick one habit, and fully commit to it. Don’t try to be “disciplined” for a whole lot of things at once. I’ve tried this (many times) and it always fails. I’m re-evaluating my goals for this year for that reason alone. Try one habit at a time, and really focus on it.
Come up with a plan for that habit. See how many of the Top 20 Motivation Hacks you can apply to this habit. Write down your goal, and set a measurable and achievable goal, with a deadline. Write down mini-goals along the way, with rewards for each. Write down a plan for monitoring your urges to quit the habit, and for how you will overcome those urges (write it down beforehand!).
Maintain your focus on that habit for as long as possible. Try not to get distracted from it by other things. Post up pictures, motivational quotes, your plan, a list of rewards, your list of reasons, etc. Send yourself email reminders. Get others to remind you of your focus. Blog about it. Whatever it takes.
Set up your environment so that you maintain your motivation for your habit over time. Look at the example of Sgt. Lamar above. His life is set up so that he can’t fail. Set you life up like that too, with motivation all around you, in many forms. Set it up so that that motivation continues for as long as possible, not just for a couple weeks or a month. Maintain that environment of motivation.
Celebrate your success!!! Woo hoo!!!!

Shameless plea: For my readers who like this story … please add this to your favorite social bookmarking site! It’s doing especially well on Netscape (it could use a nudge) but any help you give it on any of the services would be appreciated.

Discipline is an illusion; Motivate yourself instead

Reader Kamal posted a great question in response to my call for topic suggestions:

“I think discipline would be a good topic, as much of what you talk about requires a certain amount of it.

The Army was good for teaching me discipline, but I realized that in the end, it comes from within.

But still, like most things, it is a habit that one can work on over time.

Would love to hear your thoughts and experience on the subject.”

Let me start with the conclusion first: if you think you don’t have discipline, you don’t need it. What you need is to commit to your goal or habit and fully motivate yourself. Read on for more.

But I say he has motivation instead. Review the Top 20 Motivation Hacks for some of the reasons why:

Sgt. Lamar has signed up for the Army and all that that entails. He is a full-time military man, and everyone he knows is aware of this. He has fully committed himself to living a life of discipline, meaning he’s fully committed to all the habits of the Army: waking early, exercise, cleanliness, orderliness, etc. That’s the No. 2 of the Top 20 Hacks.
He’s in the middle of a mutually supportive competition. There is competition among his fellow officers about who has more discipline (wakes earlier, runs more, etc.) — Hack No. 3.
Sgt. Lamar has powerful reasons (Hack No. 8) to keep those habits going — to keep up his reputation in the Army, to promote his advancement in the organization, to set an example for those under him.
There are many more, but let me quickly point out others: there’s a system of accountability, public pressure, others above him who he must report to, rewards for sticking to the habits, the pleasure of accomplishing his goals and habits, workout buddies, visualization of his goals (even if he doesn’t realize it, Sgt. Lamar has a picture of what an Army man should be, and keeps that in his head each day). And then there’s positive thinking (Hack No. 1) — Sgt. Lamar doesn’t allow himself to think negatively, or to tell himself he can’t do it. He has no choice. If he does start thinking negative thoughts, he will soon be former Sgt. Lamar.

So how can you be “disciplined” about your habits? Get the right motivation (See the Top 20- Motivation Hacks for more). Here are a few tips:

Pick one habit, and fully commit to it. Don’t try to be “disciplined” for a whole lot of things at once. I’ve tried this (many times) and it always fails. I’m re-evaluating my goals for this year for that reason alone. Try one habit at a time, and really focus on it.
Come up with a plan for that habit. See how many of the Top 20 Motivation Hacks you can apply to this habit. Write down your goal, and set a measurable and achievable goal, with a deadline. Write down mini-goals along the way, with rewards for each. Write down a plan for monitoring your urges to quit the habit, and for how you will overcome those urges (write it down beforehand!).
Maintain your focus on that habit for as long as possible. Try not to get distracted from it by other things. Post up pictures, motivational quotes, your plan, a list of rewards, your list of reasons, etc. Send yourself email reminders. Get others to remind you of your focus. Blog about it. Whatever it takes.
Set up your environment so that you maintain your motivation for your habit over time. Look at the example of Sgt. Lamar above. His life is set up so that he can’t fail. Set you life up like that too, with motivation all around you, in many forms. Set it up so that that motivation continues for as long as possible, not just for a couple weeks or a month. Maintain that environment of motivation.
Celebrate your success!!! Woo hoo!!!!

Comments (15)

Beth Says:

March 5th, 2007, 14:21 pm

These are great ideas! I prefer using my environment and other things to motivate me instead of relying on willpower - which seems to come and go for me. I have a free 30 day ecourse on creating a new habit that incorporates many of these suggestions and includes some more tips in case any of your readers are interested.

http://www.encouragingcoach.com/programs-habits.htm

Benno Says:

March 5th, 2007, 14:54 pm

Thats a fresh way to think about discipline…. I really like it. You’ve changed my perception of something that I think many people take for granted.

Leo Says:

March 5th, 2007, 15:06 pm

Thanks Benno! That’s a grat compliment. It’s not often that we change others’ perceptions.

kamal Says:

March 5th, 2007, 20:00 pm

Your post made me think about when I was 20 and wanted to max out on the PT test for my Army Reserve unit. So, that summer, I worked out every day after work and then ran at night before going to bed.

And yes, when it came time for the PT test, I beat everyone in my unit.

All this time, I thought I’d used discipline but reading your post, realize that I committed and motivated myself with the competition and reward (how it would feel to be in the best shape in my unit).

Thinking about it, your approach of focusing on motivation / reward / competition is a more effective way to achieve my goals rather than telling myself that I need to be more disciplined.

Leo Says:

March 5th, 2007, 20:28 pm

Great comment, Kamal. And thanks for posting the original topic.

As for your comment on focusing more on motivation / reward / competition than discipline, you hit the nail on the head. I believe people feel they have a lack of discipline, and therefore cannot change their habits or accomplish their goals, but I think they can still do it nonetheless by setting up a good plan. Thanks for the excellent comment!

Danny Says:

April 15th, 2007, 21:04 pm

That’s a great post Kamul, and I think that some people have a very skewed idea of what discipline is.

“Discipline” is very different, I think, from “self-discipline”. In your example Sgt. Lamar has self-discipline - he was getting up and exercising not because he had a DI screaming in his face but because he knew it was the right thing to do. Lamar didn’t need someone to enforce discipline: he could do it himself and that, I imagine, is why he’s a sergeant.

Self-discipline:

“The ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weakness; the ability to do what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.”

When beginning a habit it may be necessary to force yourself to do something, but there will always be some motivation behind that. Self-discipline is reliant on motivation, it cannot exist without it.

Karl Staib Says:

May 5th, 2007, 17:44 pm

Leo, you’ve done a great job of viewing life from an out of the box angle. Many of us seem to think that if we just push ourselves harder then we’ll get more done and be happier at the end. The mind has a fickle flow of chemicals that need more than discipline. It wants enjoyment from an action. I bought into the self-discipline illusion because it’s what my parents taught me, but after reading books on the subject and blogs like this one I am changing my old habits. I’m happier and I’ve noticed that I do a better work. Keep up the good thoughts. I’ve got your RSS feed going to my Google reader.

Leo Says:

May 5th, 2007, 18:03 pm

Thanks for the great comment, Karl! I appreciate the encouragement, and thank you for subscribing. Please comment and email me any time you have suggestions or questions.

Pril Says:

June 26th, 2007, 14:38 pm

Lack of desire to want to:
What about the disipline or habit of something you DON:T want to do!

i.e.: Dishes, cooking dinner, cleaning my house, working out, showering, dressing nicely for work!

These things HAVE TO get done and i don’t have the money to pay for someone else to do them for me!

Grant you have do have help (my partner) however he don’t want to do it either!
i asked my self are they goals or just things i want done and why do i want them done!
I want to eat so i have to cook (displine or habit) how do you concor it! in a routine??? it would be an unwanted routine
but that gives me dishes I dont’ want to do them yet i don’t want a dirty home (this isn’t a great motivation) maybe it’s not close to my values. I want to be healthy but i don’t want to work out I hike that’s enought maybe if i hiked more then one day yea but 1 day a week isn’t much… does this make anysence! Leo how would you go about gaining motivation to do this stuff! Love your articals as well!

Igor Says:

July 4th, 2007, 1:24 am

I think such conceptions as self-discipline, motivation, will power and concentration are tightly related to properly distinguish them and to say that in that place it is motivation but in that place it is discipline.

tim woodhead Says:

July 6th, 2007, 6:28 am

I find my self agreeing with you .Always thought if I just had a
scary nco to shout at me in civilian life I would acheive more .
Guess the truth I am not putting the effort into civillian life as much as I do when faced with a task in the army.

Dee Butler Says:

August 8th, 2007, 15:54 pm

What do you do if you don’t know your goal and have lots of ideas of what you think you would like to do. But, main thing is you aren’t motivated by anything to get up early or even on schedule. Stay up late and get up late every day and was a workaholic and now semi-retired. Really enjoying your website that has a lot of great ideas just trying to figure out how to incorporate and get myself jumpstarted.

Leo Says:

August 8th, 2007, 19:13 pm

@Dee Butler: Your question actually has two parts, so I’ll answer them briefly:

1) If you have lots of ideas for goals but aren’t sure which one to pick, you’re not alone. Many people are like that. I can’t give you a definitive answer, but I would suggest you spend a little time giving this some thought, searching your soul for what’s really important to you, and where you want to be in life. Of course, you don’t have to pick just one goal in life, but you should start with one and then move on to the next on your list after you achieve the first.

2) If you aren’t motivated to do your goal, there are some things you can do: a) make a list of the reasons you want to do the goal, and the benefits from it — those should be the driving reasons for doing it, and you need some good ones to really motivate yourself; b) tell as many people about your goal as possible, and be accountable to the public — this will really motivate you; c) get a partner and help motivate each other; d) join the Zen Habits forum (link at the top of this page) and log in every day, doing a 30-day challenge for your goal; d) determine some rewards that you’ll give yourself (and make them really good).

For more on this, see the Top 20 Motivation Hacks (in the sidebar to the left).

dlasiebie.pl Says:

October 31st, 2007, 18:35 pm

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Zissou Says:

December 9th, 2007, 10:34 am

Thanks to everyone for the work and comitment to this useful site.

Something that I have found very useful to motivate myself has been to look at the behaviour I want to change and instead of trying to work out why I sholdn’t do it, I try to understand why I do do it what are the deep beliefs and emotions that I have that lead me to behave in that way. Then systematically un-pick them. I have found that all behaviours that are no use to me or even detrimental have at their base some flawed thinking or belief. By removing the reasons for the behaviour it becomes pointless and so the change comes more easily.