The Three Secrets to Happiness

Stephen Says:

March 23rd, 2007, 19:33 pm

Fantastic post, Leo! I tell people this every day, when they get down about financial matters. I am going to email this to everyone on my list.

Thanks!

holli Says:

March 23rd, 2007, 20:09 pm

Well, on a pc I can post, even if I can’t on a mac.

Anyway, I like your list. Is flow the same thing as having purpose?

zenhabits Says:

March 23rd, 2007, 21:13 pm

@Stephen … thanks for the comment and for forwarding the article. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

@holli jo … I still haven’t been able to figure out your problem. If anyone knows the answer, I’d appreciate it. Basically, she can’t access the comments on my site when using Firefox on a Mac. Anyone else have the same problem?

As for your question, I think flow and having purpose are definitely related. I also think having purpose is another important factor in happiness that I didn’t mention, but like I said, it is related to flow. If you have purpose, that is more likely to lead to flow. Think of it as when you get so caught up in your work, you forget about everything else. That doesn’t happen to us all the time, but when it does, it brings happiness, I think.

Pratik Says:

March 23rd, 2007, 21:28 pm

I would have thought “Good Health” would be one of the top three reasons for happiness.

zenhabits Says:

March 23rd, 2007, 21:39 pm

Pratik … you have a point, although it’s not a necessity. If you have the three reasons I listed above, but not good health, you can still be happy. But I recommend good health as well!

No sarcasm or hypocrisy please Says:

March 24th, 2007, 4:06 am

Happiness? It’s quite simple. Practice altruism.

zenhabits Says:

March 24th, 2007, 7:47 am

No sarcasm: thanks for that great suggestion.

mental_surfeit Says:

March 24th, 2007, 16:05 pm

Thanks for your posts…I’ve been reading for a few weeks and find some nice ideas here.

About this one…something that often bothers me about these “meaning of life” type posts sometimes is that they can be slanted towards the lifestyles of people who are financially really well off. However, I like this post because I think these three suggestions apply to both poor people and wealthy people. In my opinion, the idea of finding “flow” is not restricted some exalted type of work. Instead, the attitude that we bring to our work — whatever our work is — is the key. I’m thinking about Thich Nhat Hahn’s suggestion to do everything mindfully –even washing the dishes.

zenhabits Says:

March 24th, 2007, 17:55 pm

@mental_surfeit: great comment. I agree that suggestions should be accessible by anyone, regardless of their income level. I don’t like writers who look down on poor people either — coming from a poor background myself, I know that it’s not an easy life and changing it takes time and courage.

As for your comment on flow and mindfulness, I agree. You could find flow with whatever you’re doing, if you learn to completely put yourself into it. This is a difficult, thing, though … I’ve tried it and like any other skill, it takes a lot of practice. My suggestion that you find something you’re passionate about is more of a shortcut to flow, I guess. :)

Thanks for the insightful comment.

barrygillis Says:

June 8th, 2007, 6:37 am

Sounds like two times no stress and one dose of diversion.

Alexa Says:

August 3rd, 2007, 12:25 pm

I try to think positive, but whenever I feel good about myself it makes me feel dirty and selfish. I don’t think I should feel good about myself because I have no accomplishments to feel good about. It makes me feel conceited. There is nothing good about me.

Alexa Says:

August 3rd, 2007, 12:26 pm

Also, TV and movies aren’t all bad… there are good, thought-provoking stories in any medium.

Grubber Says:

August 12th, 2007, 15:38 pm

>> These three things have been proven by research
>> surveys of hundreds of thousands of people.

What research? State your souces.

These methods may work for you but don’t assume they will work for everyone. Telling myself I’m great does little for me, positive action is much more effective.

Frances Says:

August 15th, 2007, 23:00 pm

This post sounds like you’ve never been horrifically poor.

Not enough money to buy food so you feel tired and groggy all the time.

Barely enough money to pay rent so every week is a stress.

Being hit with medical bills and other bills when there’s no money in the bank.

Try that lifestyle for a while. I can tell you, having money to do these basic things makes you happy. Sorry if that sounds harsh but money can buy happiness. The happiness to be alive and healthy. I also disagree with your previous post about vegan being cheaper. In my experience it’s more expensive because we have to buy vegetables in triple quantities and vegetables are very expensive ($3.59 for a single capsicum). Meat is cheap.

Leo Says:

August 17th, 2007, 17:38 pm

@Frances: Actually, I grew up very poor, and was poor during my early 20s, so I do know what that’s like. I’ve risen out of it, and even when I was poor, with the stress of paying rent and bills, I was a fairly happy person. It was a matter of outlook, and of taking positive action.

Regarding veganism being cheaper: I’ve tried both, and I can tell you that it is. You should be eating vegetables whether you eat meat or not, so the difference between meat and other protein sources (such as soy protein, tofu, beans, etc.) is quite large. Meat is very expensive.

John Says:

August 18th, 2007, 22:55 pm

Why do you say that TV is the opposite of flow? I’d say the opposite of flow would be trying to sleep while a smoke alarm goes off every five minutes. TV is like proto-flow: it’s engaging, but it doesn’t involve much creative involvement. So it’s got one of the two essential components of flow.

If you want to be successful, avoid unimportant but interesting pursuits, like TV and computer games, in favor of important and interesting pursuits. TV and video games bring diminishing returns in terms of interest - they’re very interesting at first, but after a while they seem repetitive.

Leo Says:

August 19th, 2007, 8:14 am

@John: I say that TV is the opposite of flow for the reason I stated in the article: “People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge.”

TV is passive, and mindless, while flow is active, and engaging, and positive. In this sense, they are opposites.

I agree, of course, with your second paragraph. :)

Joanne Says:

September 27th, 2007, 16:35 pm

You’re in my feed reader, but I don’t always comment…however, I saw this article at the end of the linkbacks in one of your recents posts….and what a great post this is! You know, at first I was rather doubtul (can there really be only 3 secerts…is there even 1?!). But I have to say, those three things you’ve listed are right on the money. It incorporates love for others and yourself, as well as an appreciation for all the good that comes hand-in-hand with the bad in Life.

Thanks!

Anna Says:

October 23rd, 2007, 2:29 am

A great post, thank you :) I would also add that giving to others factors very largely (in my experience) in being happy. Giving selflessly of your time, income, possessions, without expecting anything in return, seems to be a guarenteed path to happiness, and it’s also a good way to meet the needs of point 1 - human relationships.

I think too money can buy happiness but it’s usually only temporary happiness, it can’t create lasting happiness the way human interaction does.

Andrew Brunelle Says:

January 1st, 2008, 22:34 pm

Money can play a component in being happy. It is a relief of stress and burden. When you have enough, it is easier to feel happy, but if you become happy and live your purpose, money should be the least of your worries. You will be so enthralled in your work, the value you create will be substantial enough to give you the abundance you deserve.

Steven Says:

January 24th, 2008, 15:21 pm

Hey.

Excellent article.

I’d love to have a “Recommend this article to my friend/s” button, like “Send this article to:”/ “From:” / “Comment:”.

Hope I didn’t miss it, if it’s already there somewhere ;)

~greets from Vienna

simply Here Says:

January 31st, 2008, 17:07 pm

Thank you , a million times

Marcia Says:

February 20th, 2008, 10:27 am

The one big life lesson I’ve always tried to teach my kids is that you don’t have to be rich to be successful. You just need to feel good about yourself. The only way to do that is to do your best every day, to be kind, work hard, be honest and practice appreciation. Your list of 75 simple pleasures is sweet, but if one is appreciative, the list can be endless.

Jonathan Says:

February 24th, 2008, 19:55 pm

Ola!!! I love this website. I find a lot of similarities in my own writing. The 75 Zen habits inspired me to share some of my own Zen practices on my blog. I would love to exchange links with you for my blog roll. My travel blog has travel stories, enlightened teachings, and inspirational vibes. Check it out and let me know if you want to exchange links, I get a lot of traffic and think it will be beneficial for both sites. Cheers
J
http://idreamnowtravelblog.com/

Sarah Jacobs Says:

March 14th, 2008, 2:59 am

I find the idea of flow you mentioned really interesting. Have you experienced this yourself? Do you think it’s a skill you can develop, or is it merely something that happens naturally under the right conditions?

good article

Jonathan Says:

March 16th, 2008, 1:53 am

I have added your Zen Habits to my blogroll, simply because more people in the world should read your website. Thank you! I find your blog very inspiring. Pura Vida
J

Eric Liao Says:

April 16th, 2008, 4:44 am

Thanks for this post. Excellent insight and if I can add one I would say being healthy. To me being healthy is like base to do anything further.

Kazeem Says:

June 15th, 2008, 12:51 pm

Great post! This is enough to get a sadist going for another day. Of the three, i believe positive thinking comes first. If you are gifted with the ability to see the bright side of everything and every situation, happiness follows easily.
Thanks for the great post

Beautiful Scraps Says:

June 30th, 2008, 12:06 pm

Very nice post as usual.. I have been reading ur blog for many days and got inspired to write my own…

I could found these 5 ways to be happy
http://www.beautifulscraps.com/self-improvement/5-secrets-to-a-happy-life/

do let me know..

God bless you and your family

LILY Says:

July 22nd, 2008, 3:29 am

Hey everyone,…
the 3 tips above are good,..
but actually i think its hard to initiate any of them if ur unhappy. i believe these are the results of being happy
cuz when someone is happy, then he will have motivation and good relationships and positive thinking…
try it,… its very hard to start or continue good relationships if ur unhappy… if ur in a bad mood,.. or if u are depressed
m telling u all this cuz i found the source of happiness,..
the real reason that makes me motivated and have great relationships and have positive thinking all the time.
The secret of my happiness is my realtionship with a great person,.. who loves me a lot,.. has my best interest in mind ALL the time,… and is faithful NO MATTER WHAT
:)
i love, adore, and worship him. He’s the best thing in my life…. He is Jesus Christ
that’s why i am always happy,.. with no effort AT ALL
:D:D

KARTHIKA Says:

August 6th, 2008, 15:55 pm

hey this s really good .
if v follow these 3 tips then surely we will be happy…..

Angie Says:

March 15th, 2009, 22:06 pm

This is an interesting article, three steps that might help in the journey of happinesss
Persuing what makes you happy and taking advantage of it being creative taking a step further to make money with yoour talents will make you happy
enhancing your self-esteem making money having good
healthy relationships of course !!

With all thiscyour health will strenghten because when you are happy your immune system is stronger !!!

Good and wonderful article my friend keep up the good work and keep inspiring the world !! there is a need of it kk!! Blessings Angie :) Thumbs up

Gina Says:

June 20th, 2009, 20:02 pm

Good article. I rather liked it, and it made a lot of sense.