The Key to Dying Happy
There are a million jokes that could be made with the above headline, half of them dirty. But this post isn’t one of them — it’s about what’s important in life, how you want to live, and how you want to die. It’s about living a life of purpose, and being remembered well after you move on from this life.
To die happy, you must live life with that end in mind. Live a life of purpose.
That’s easier said than done, of course. In this post, I’ll look at a great way to find that purpose in your life, and to live every day with that purpose in mind, and to align your daily actions with that purpose.
But first, let’s ask the obvious question: “Why does this matter?”
Let’s consider for a moment the life that most of us lead: we get up in the morning, we do what we have to do for the day, if we’re lucky we get some time to relax or do something fun, if we’re even luckier we get some time to spend with loved ones. And this repeats itself in endless variations until we get old.
What happens then? We look back on our lives, and perhaps we wish we’d done stuff differently, or wish we’d accomplished something. But after a certain point, it’s a bit too late.
This post is about doing something about it now, about choosing to live differently before it’s too late.
Perspective
Now let’s think about what’s important. At any given moment, whatever is in front of us is important. That assignment has to be done right away! That’s because we’re looking closely, at the details.
But if we pulled back, took a step away from our lives, those details become less important. Soon we can start to see the forest. Unless we pull back some more — and now we can see a continent. Pull back further, and we see the Earth, the solar system, the galaxy — and now nothing in our lives are important.
Obviously, you need to get the right amount of perspective.
The best tool for that, I’ve found, is a famous principle of Stephen Covey’s: begin with the end in mind. And here’s how he tells us to do that: by imagining what we’d like people to say about us at our funeral. Do we want them to say that we were kind-hearted, or charitable, or loving, or successful, or that we accomplished great things, or found a cure for cancer? However we want to be remembered, that’s how we should live our lives, every moment of every day, starting right now.
Live With Purpose — A How-to Guide
If you want to live a life of purpose, here’s a method for doing so (you were wondering when the list would come!):
- Your purpose. Start by taking 10 minutes out of your life to find some quiet space, and to close your eyes, and to think. Ask yourself: How do I want to be remembered? What do I want people to say about me at my funeral? Think about that for 10 minutes, then write down your answers. There may be a few different things, or 10, or just one.
- Write it down. Put your purpose — how you want to be remembered — on a sheet of paper. Type it out, or write it lovingly with a Magic Marker — it doesn’t matter. Put it in nice, big letters. This is your life mission. Post it up somewhere visible, or make it your desktop background. Be reminded of it every day.
- Morning ritual. Every morning, rise with the sun (or at the crack of noon, it doesn’t matter), and look at your purpose. Read it out loud, and give it some thought. Ask yourself: what can I do today to help fulfill my purpose? Now write that down on your to-do list — even if it’s something simple, like “Smile at my co-workers” or “Give my kids a hug”.
- Align your actions. As much as possible, make your actions move your toward your purpose. Keep that purpose in mind throughout the day. If it helps, send yourself email reminders. After awhile, it’ll become a part of your nature.
- Evening ritual. Take a few minutes before you go to bed to look back on your day, on your actions, on what you accomplished. Perhaps write about it in a journal (this is best, but it’s up to you). Look at your purpose again, and think about how you could have lived today differently. Then figure out how you can live your purpose better tomorrow.
These simple actions aren’t that hard to do. They might take some energy and focus in the beginning to make it a habit, but with focus, you can make it happen. And your life will be filled with purpose, and you will live your life with happiness, and eventually, with a little luck, die happy. May your life be blessed.
For those who are curious, I just came up with my life mission now (subject to change):
Leo’s Mission
- He was an amazing dad.
- He made his wife happy.
- He was a good, compassionate person.
- He made the lives others better (especially those in need).
- He was a great writer.
- He was happy.
- Spewed into the world on 20 May 2007 in Goals & Motivation, Happiness |
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Brilliant comments (20)
soho Says:
May 20th, 2007, 7:40 am
Very nice post - the thought about death puts all our actions, little problems, and wishes into perspective. Everything seems so unimportant and tiny (certain job paths, consumer electronics, …) in the light of the big things in life, e.g. happyness, friends, and partnership.
Som Says:
May 20th, 2007, 9:28 am
Nice!! refreshing as always. Daily meditation and offering prayers to God helps a lot to refine our focus, our goal and achieve them eventually. I have been a silent reader of your blog for sometime and deeply encouraged started my blog. Being a physician I would like to demystify the brain and human body (wow?haha) - thats impossible, however thats a goal - deeper understanding. Started the journey just recently. But many thanks to you!!!
Meditation makes a man/woman more intellectual and gain more focus, a hard practice but of definitive yield. For those who cannot really pen down what their final objectives/goals are, just keep meditating and going about the ‘duties’ of life, one day you will have clear focus to think ahead into the future (so says the Vedas).
itistoday Says:
May 20th, 2007, 10:09 am
Just don’t take those goals too seriously. If you live life in earnest, it becomes a drag.
Christian Tietze Says:
May 20th, 2007, 11:30 am
I came up with a list very similar to yours. Writing was invovled, and working on things that mattered (at least to me, I mean, “him”). I don’t know how to circumscribe the faint idea behind all that, but it’s mostly about aligning to my inner self, being able to live what’s inside me, like wishes and so on. I can imagine how living a really happy live would feel, and I think the best way is to focus on what’s bugging me and all the wishes I have. I’m very general here, but at the moment I’m just not able to specify this feeling in my guts…
It’s so damn hard to think about my death and how to lead my life until then when I just finished school I have no experience about work at all, I don’t know whether there is a job that’d make me happy — and if it was, somewhere hidden in Germany or elsewhere, how could I possibly find it? Listening to the heart is a great start, but that won’t lead me anywhere at all without experience.
Should I put further thinking on schedule until I’m finished with university in I-don’t-know-how-many-years?
Or is it already time to act?
Ashwin Says:
May 20th, 2007, 11:43 am
Excellent post. I’m always a sucker for these type of sentiments. :D
I’m yet to make my life purpose statement. I’m gonna sit through and write them by this week end.
David Finch Says:
May 20th, 2007, 12:34 pm
Leo, the thought of death for many is never a pleasant topic, however living life with purpose can be very rewarding. Thanks for the reminder!
Deb Says:
May 20th, 2007, 12:35 pm
Excellent post. I did this very same exercise on Robin Sharma weekend retreat. It was an interesting process which I must admit I have lost track of. I am now going to go find that eulogy I wrote three years ago and get myself back on track. Thank you for the reminder
David Hollingworth Says:
May 20th, 2007, 13:25 pm
What a great post. You’ve certainly given me some food for thought.
ZHereford Says:
May 20th, 2007, 16:57 pm
It’s always a good idea to stop, take note and remember what’s really important in life.
AgentSully Says:
May 20th, 2007, 17:35 pm
Beautiful Leo. I have similar goals.
From all accounts, you’re there! Of course one never fully arrives. It’s an ongoing journey.
Loved it. Dugg it! Best regards!
Leo Says:
May 20th, 2007, 18:16 pm
Thanks for all the wonderful comments, everyone! I’d be interested in hearing all of your “life missions”.
Som Says:
May 20th, 2007, 21:47 pm
Missions: Learn as much knowledge as possible across all areas (just posted a blog about knowledge being the goal).
Knowledge is all encompassing!!! through great knowledge we learn to make great sacrifices to be a person with great character. (Easy said than done!!..yep..but lets strive for that).
karenlim Says:
May 21st, 2007, 12:31 pm
Great Post
Yes, most people are so busy with life that they forget why they are here on this planet earth
I believe we should spend 10 min a day to visualize what we want in life and how we can contribute to the society in return.
One way I did is to practice and spread awareness of Law of Attraction via my blog:
http://www.secretofunlimitedprosperity.com
Have fun in life. It is great!
Cheers, Karen
ken Says:
May 21st, 2007, 12:34 pm
nice thoughts, but all a bit too prescriptive for me i’m afraid. the british actor, paul eddington, who was a quaker, and died just a few years ago, was asked in one of his final interviews before his cancer killed him; ‘how would you like to be remembered?’ he replied that he would like people to think of him as someone ‘… who didn’t do too much harm’. i remember his being criticised for the modesty of this aspiration. i thought it was actually rather noble and altruistic and showed a very refined sense of proportion. the world is full of people who take it upon themselves - politicians and religious leaders for example - to go around doing good, and doing a world of harm in the process.
Personally i’ve always liked what kurt vonnegut had to say on the subject: ‘i believe we were put on this earth to fart about’
KC Says:
May 21st, 2007, 18:40 pm
ken, I actually believe that MOST people are those that live life ‘farting about’. It is a smaller proportion that actually go beyond that and achieve a real positive outcome for society (beyond thinking about it and doing something about something, anything!). There is a lot to be said about striving for a positive impact of some sort and you can’t honestly believe that the sum actions of people trying to do ‘good’ has a net impact of ‘harm’.
It sounds like you’re excusing yourself from doing anything of real value and living life content with the tedium of your daily motions.
ken Says:
May 22nd, 2007, 7:14 am
” …It sounds like you’re excusing yourself from doing anything of real value and living life content with the tedium of your daily motions…. ”
did i give that impression? it’s far from the case. i’m a very busy and active person, and i do try to do something of value rather than just going through the motions of life. certainly my life is far from tedious. no, i was just being a bit playful; devil’s advocate if you like. i think there was a lot of wisdom in your post and i enjoyed reading it, i just think that some of the best things that have happened in my life have been completely unexpected and unplanned. i guess by the reference to what kurt vonnegut said, i meant that we should embrace the casual event, be open to spontaneity, and serendipity. i just think there’s a little bit of a danger that in making ‘mission statements for life’ we could lose sight of those things.
ken Says:
May 22nd, 2007, 8:51 am
of course the original post was not kc, so my previous should read ‘a lot of wisdom in the post’, not ‘your post’
apologies
nano Says:
June 4th, 2007, 18:27 pm
Nice article. The focus on a purpose is valuable. The method for deriving it is questionable, however. I couldn’t care less what people think of me after I’ve died. In fact, I think that’s a major detraction from living a full life, too many people seem to be living through the eyes of others.
Tim Richardson Says:
June 26th, 2007, 11:22 am
Ken:
I just posted a blog on my best friends legacy. He did the Stephen Covey exercise (Beginning With the End in Mind) and it made a huge difference in his short life. Check it out http://www.RichestPeopleinAmerica.com also see http://www.BillWalteriii.org.
Tim Richardson, Inspirational Speaker
Michael John Paul Wilhelm Says:
February 20th, 2008, 12:25 pm
Life mission, Blessings LEO ! Meditate Leo, enjoyed your article - so you are a success already should it be you have made a difference in just one life. Making the difference in life makes us humble when we realize the expanse of past and future around our limited time here. GREAT article LEO, seems in our brief moments we are quite needy beings… needing to love, be loved and better understand what love really is.
Signature Art is my 3rd round with relationships in the process of building a business… Third time is a charm I have heard, also writting my life book titled Submissin and have an educational game product made and designed to market.from my location in the U S A
3818 Cedar Springs 214 Dallas TX 75219 214-252-1569 One joy before I die, NOT ENOUGH, I will do all I can do for my fellow man before I die, the most noble achievement that I have embraced is CHARITY. As we have received all that we are with liberty, let us allow liberty, as we would want peace let us be peaceful, May we learn to love with a fullness that exceeds any and all expectations.
The best is yet to come, Michael John Paul Wilhelm
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