Quantcast

15 Ways to Create an Hour a Day of Extra Time … for Solitude

Solitude

Every Wedneday is Simplicity Day on Zen Habits.

One problem with our complicated lives these days is that many of us never find time to spend alone, in peace, without being bombarded with noise and information. There’s no time for solitude and quiet contemplation, and as a result, we have stress and anxiety and depression and repression.

Find time each day to be alone, for your mental health, by stealing pockets of time from other areas of your life.

This time will pay off for you in the long run. You will become sane, and with the ability to reflect on your life, on what you’ve gone through in the last 24 hours, in the last week, in the last year, you can slowly improve it or learn to be happy with it.

Finding time for solitude is extremely important, and yet it’s an area that is often neglected. I don’t mean time alone, where you’re watching TV or surfing the Internet or reading or watching the news. There’s nothing wrong with those activities, but they aren’t conducive to contemplation, to getting to know yourself, to reflecting on what you’ve been going through, for thinking about your dreams.

Learning to spend time in quiet solitude is also very difficult. It’s probably best if done in small doses at first, so if you only do it for 20 or 30 minutes at first, that’s OK. Learn to fight the urge to turn the TV on or turn your computer on or play music or read. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

What follows are just some ideas for recapturing about an hour a day of extra time, from other sources of time, so that you can have time for solitude. These are temporary fixes … ways for you to find that time for 30 days, and in those 30 days, you can find other ways to simplify your life so that you can have this time permanently. Use those 30 days, in part, for thinking about the complications in your life, about things you might want to eliminate to free up more time for important things, like your dreams, your loved ones, your passion, and solitude.

  1. Television. I’m not on a crusade against television, and I’m not saying you should get rid of it. I watch TV. And though I’ve eliminated cable TV from my life, I’m not saying you should. This is a temporary fix, remember … so try to reduce your television consumption by 60 minutes, just for 30 days. You may find that you enjoy reduced TV consumption, but every person is different.
  2. Internet. Again, I’m not saying you should stop using the Internet. Just reduce your consumption of the Internet by 60 minutes for 30 days. Be sure to use those 60 minutes for solitude and contemplation. Reducing your Internet use will force you to use the time you do use the Internet more productively … you can still do the things you love to do, but you have to use them in a more focused way.
  3. Wake earlier. I’ve talked about the benefits of rising early, and how to do it in the past, and one of its best benefits, for me, is the quiet time I have alone. I like to use this time for writing, for exercise, and for contemplation. Try waking 1 hour earlier, just for 30 days. Or if that doesn’t work for you, stay up an hour later. Either way works.
  4. Email. If email consumes a huge part of your life, try going on an email diet. Only allow yourself to do email once a day, for 30 minutes. See if you can stop yourself from doing email at all other times. Remember, this is just for 30 days … after that, if you want to go back to doing email all day long, you can.
  5. Stop shopping. Again, it’s only temporary! But if you’re also trying to reduce debt or save money, this is a great permanent solution. But just try it for 30 days. Eliminate all shopping except essential grocery shopping. Everything else goes on a 30-day list.
  6. Leave work early. If your work allows it, see if you can leave work earlier. If you have a smart boss, the only thing that will matter is if you’re getting your work done — not how long you’re in the office. So really focus on getting the essential work done within the time you have, and leave an hour earlier.
  7. Go to work late. The flip side of the above suggestion. Again, this is if your work allows it.
  8. Take a longer lunch. Sometimes it’s easier to squeeze out extra time for your lunch break than it is to come in early or to leave early. If you can take 90 minutes for lunch, use the first 30 for eating (pack a lunch if possible) and the other 60 for solitude.
  9. Stop digesting news. Are you a news junky? I’ve written before about how I haven’t watched TV news or read a newspaper or even Internet news sites for a couple of years. It’s possible to go without it. See if you can stop reading newspapers, or watching TV news, for just 30 days. After that, you can go back.
  10. Don’t do anything after work. If you make social commitments after work, or business meetings, or whatever, stop making these plans for 30 days and use this time for solitude.
  11. Skip civic commitments. Do you volunteer or serve in an organization or are you a member of some group? Skip the meetings and other functions for a month. The organization won’t fall apart without you … even if you’re president, you can temporarily hand the reins over to your vice president.
  12. Minimalize laundry. Do you do a load of laundry several times a week, or even every day? That’s an hour or two each time. Instead, go to a laundry mat and do your laundry all in one shot — that’ll take about two hours. You can easily save 1-3 hours this way.
  13. Minimalize housework/yardwork. Do these chores take up a large part of your day? See if you can minimalize this, just for a month. Relax your standards a little. Or do a speed-cleaning stint once a week for two hours, and don’t clean the rest of the week. For yardwork, hire a teen-ager to do it for a month.
  14. Cut out non-essential reading. Cut out magazine reading and most book reading (unless it’s essential) to give you some extra time. This will also include cutting out newspaper and Internet reading, if you aren’t implementing the tips above.
  15. Minimalize recreation. Partying, drinking, playing sports, playing video games … however you spend your free time, see if you can cut into that time.

Remember to use any time you free up for solitude and contemplation, not extra TV time.

Do you have any tips for freeing up time? Or would you like to share your experiences regarding solitude? Let us know in the comments.

See also:

If you liked this article, please bookmark it in del.icio.us. Thanks!

Brilliant comments (30)

Gravatar

Anaamica Says:

June 21st, 2007, 5:27 am

I totally agree with you on the importance of solitude. Half an hour of contemplation and self-introspection, I manage to keep sane in this insanely busy world.

Your tips are very helpful, thank for sharing it. I would like to add one of my own tips to this list. Forget about making extra time, we could still contemplate as part of our daily activities. The best time when I spend time with myself is when I am walking. It could be walking over to the nearest shop, walking down the bus stop or walking over to my neighbor’s house. This is the time which I find extremely useful for me when I want to talk to myself. Another instance is when I am traveling. If you drive to work, you couldn’t have been luckier. You brood while waiting for the signal to turn red.

The best part about self-introspection is you can do it at practically any time. You could be sitting amidst a hundred people with blaring party music and still talk to yourself. You only need to wake up your inner self. Trust me, that voice is your best friend.

Gravatar

Ash Says:

June 21st, 2007, 5:57 am

Any suggestions for what to think about in such solitude? I revert back to thinking about unfinished work and such :-)

Gravatar

Leo Says:

June 21st, 2007, 6:19 am

Hi Ash … great question! Really, there is no definitive answer to your question about what to think about in solitude … each of us is different … but if you want some ideas to start out with, try these:

* your dreams in life
* how to achieve them
* what your ultimate life would be like
* what you’d like people to say about you when you die
* are you happy now?
* if not, why not? how could you become happy?
* are you searching for something? what is it, and when you get it, will you be happy?
* what did you do today? is that what you wanted to do?
* what would an ideal day be like for you?
* who are you? what are you like?
* what are your strengths? weaknesses?
* listen closely to your heart … it might tell you something
* look around at the world … what wonders can you find?
* who are the people who are truly important to you? how can you develop your relationship with them?
* what else is really important to you?
* are most of your thoughts negative or positive? how does that help you or hurt you?

Again, these are just starter ideas, but you can see the general trend. You are in no way limited to these ideas, of course, and should feel free to explore.

Another idea: see if you can experience life now, in the moment, instead of thinking about the future or the past. This is difficult and takes practice. Try it, and when you feel your thoughts starting to stray, just recognize them and allow them to drift away (do not force them out) and then bring yourself back to the present. It helps to focus on something, such as breathing or doing something, to keep yourself in the present.

Gravatar

Patrick Says:

June 21st, 2007, 8:16 am

Hi Leo,

Good tips altogether (again) but this time, I just can’t ignore the feeling that you quickly assembled this list. “15″ is a great round number ofcourse, but I just can’t help feeling that some things are just not right here. In my humble opinion, things like non essential reading, going to parties and yardening are _just those things_ you do when you have extra spare time. At least I do. Those things (and many others) are the things that give me pleasure and make me empty my mind. My way to get some (inner) solitude and reflection is not only by meditation or staring into the void, but it also comes from conversations with people and doing aikido for example. Besides that, I don’t think people just “stop” watching television or reading mail to “create” solitude. People have to _plan_ being alone. Making it a habit. Everybody in his or her own way.

Nevertheless, I think it’s a good point you make. It triggered me to think and come up with this comment ;)

Gravatar

A Tentative Personal Finance Blog Says:

June 21st, 2007, 8:43 am

Ridiculous suggestion about the news. People need to be informed about the world around them.

Gravatar

Deb Says:

June 21st, 2007, 9:29 am

Again, your timing is great. I am trying to find some time for myself and Ash beat to my question - your suggestions on what to think about. I would like to suggest Robin Sharma’s MegaLiving. It is a 30 day program that eases you into this giving you exercises for each day. Time for me to revisit it.

Gravatar

Lise Says:

June 21st, 2007, 10:00 am

I find if I turn off the radio when I’m driving to work, that gives me thirty minutes of solitude each way. Rather than dwell on any one thing - thinking too much is a real problem for me - I try keep it meditative; allowing thoughts to come into my head, examining them non-critically, and then pushing them away and coming back to the present moment.

Gravatar

karenlim Says:

June 21st, 2007, 11:05 am

My way of finding solitude is by doing the things I love to do
Eg listening to personal development tapes on the train. Writing articles on law of attraction at lunch time. To some people, it may look as though I am not resting, but within inner me, it is a great sense to connect with my thoughts.

It is a way whereby I can have my thoughts to myself and in my privacy, I want to create something valuable for readers at my blog.

This recent post on inspiration on Britain’s got talent is also written when I realize I have a talent since school days but I only develope it in my 30s:

http://secretofunlimitedprosperity.com/65/sharing-an-inspiration-on-britains-got-talent-part-3/

Cheers,
Karen

Gravatar

Pril Says:

June 21st, 2007, 11:56 am

basic time managment helps to!
Grouping errors together to take care of them at once helps!
so your not going to the store five times in the week! just plan ahead!

Gravatar

Gina Says:

June 21st, 2007, 12:02 pm

Hey Tentative,
A 30 day news fast is not going to kill us! Sometimes the things that you find silly or hard to do are the things that you NEED to do to get clarity and that is why you resist. In 30 days the same huge group of people will still be making the presidential circuit and the middle east will still be in turmoil. It’s kind of like watching a soap opera. A month later it’s still the same ol’ people doing the same ol’ thing.

Great post! In my opinion the point is not to stop doing everything but to be conscious about our actions and our spending.

Gravatar

Shelby Says:

June 21st, 2007, 12:08 pm

really great post today.. found you yesterday and like this blog very much. :)

Gravatar

gwinne Says:

June 21st, 2007, 14:19 pm

Leo, what is “essential” reading to you? Reading for work? Reading to kids? Reading a book of poems? Reading blogs? While I could see myself giving up flipping through catalogs and popular magazines and blogs, I’d also argue that reading is a vital source of personal and intellectual growth. I read to my daughter. I read for my job. I read novels. I read poems. To my mind, that’s all vital. Reading around on line, not so much.

I’m interested in the idea of “reducing” TV or email. But in order to “reduce” you need to know exactly how much of something you do and then do less of it. I find it more useful to limit TV watching to a specific amount of time or cut it entirely.

Gravatar

Armand Says:

June 21st, 2007, 15:12 pm

I find the “Cut out non-essential reading” as the most important advice. Very often, by reading too much, we are exposing ourselves to data asphyxiation, and that could lead to more problems, more complications in our life.

Also, cutting in the e-mail time is important…

Nice article!

Gravatar

Marc Says:

June 21st, 2007, 15:16 pm

Regarding a news fast and Tentative’s comment that we “need” to know what is going on: For the past few months I have been avoiding purposely sitting down to watch the evening news and am always amazed when I do watch the evening news, how the news is all the same and most does not affect my life directly.

You can count on there being at least one report of a robbery or assault or even murder, someone annoyed because a business or government office is “screwing” them, a report on the homeless situation, a report on global warming, a report on a trial, a report on the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq and the day’s death toll, etc. Occasionally if you are lucky or if it is a slow news day, there will be a happy story.

Sorry, but I really don’t want to be bombarded by all this bad news. I just end up getting upset about what is happening and feel powerless to change the world situation. So a side benefit to doing a news fast is that you may find your state of being a bit happier. :)

There are also websites that have positive news, if you still need a news fix but don’t want it to be a depressing one. :)

Gravatar

Leo Says:

June 21st, 2007, 15:21 pm

Great comments, everyone. Some of them are very thought-provoking. A few responses:

@Patrick: You make some good points. I apologize if the list seems to hastily put together for you … it wasn’t meant to be comprehensive, and I wasn’t shooting for a round number. What it was meant to be was a list of ideas, which you could choose from or use to spark your own ideas. I don’t expect people to implement all of them, especially if they are indispensable in your life. Also, if gardening is the perfect way for you to spend your solitude, I think that’s great! Other ways you could spend solitude while being active include walking, hiking, etc. I didn’t mean that you have to sit there staring into space … however, I don’t think that socializing with others can be considered solitude. While it is a worthwhile activity, it isn’t a time when you can really contemplate your inner stuff. And remember, these are temporary solutions while you figure out more long-term ones.

@Tentative: Cutting out news from your life won’t hurt you one bit. I’m actually in the news business (for one of my jobs) and the politics business (for another) and amazingly it hasn’t hurt me a bit … and I haven’t read a newspaper (regularly) or watched TV news (at all) or surfed a news website for about 2 years. I thought it would be difficult, or that I would be missing important stuff, but it hasn’t been and I haven’t. One of the interesting things about working in the news business is that after a few years of being submerged in the flow of information, you realize that it’s all the same. I used to write the same stories, every year. Politics and business and disasters and human interest stories — you come up with new angles, but at the heart it’s still the same. Cut it out for a month, and you realize you don’t need it. But again, this is a temporary solution … you can always go back to the news after a month. Or don’t choose that suggestion, and try something else.

@gwinne: Essential reading is different for every person. For me, it is the hour or so I spend every day reading a fiction novel. The newspapers, websites, work reading, magazines, etc. isn’t essential, and I’ve cut most of it out (except for a few blogs). For others, it would be work reading. Reading to your child (definitely) or reading poetry could also be considered essential reading. I don’t want you to suffer immensely from cutting out your reading … as a reader myself, I know how important some reading can be … but I also know that other reading is superfluous, and can be cut out for a month, but which reading that is really depends on each person.

Gravatar

practica Says:

June 21st, 2007, 16:41 pm

Simply block time in you calendar - works perfect for me. Daily, weekly, monthly.

Gravatar

kazari Says:

June 21st, 2007, 19:41 pm

Great list,

But I think you might have missed something. I don’t consider it necessary to be completely still to have my ‘alone time’. Washing the dishes, knitting, walking, hanging out laundry, sitting on the bus. They are all great thinking time for me.
I used to catch the train to work - that was often the best half hour of my day. Nothing to do but think my own thoughts (reading made me travel sick).

Gravatar

Webster Says:

June 22nd, 2007, 8:35 am

I’ll save you a few more seconds. Quit adding “al” to “minimize.”

Gravatar

Leo Says:

June 22nd, 2007, 8:44 am

@Webster: Minimalize is a perfectly acceptable word in this case … in fact, I prefer it to minimize because it invokes the image of minimalism, which is what I’m shooting for here. I think the two extra letters are worth it if you want to be precise.

Gravatar

Commodore Says:

June 22nd, 2007, 12:55 pm

I think they were Buddhists who spent one day every month in solitude without speaking to anyone.

Gravatar

meandering Says:

June 22nd, 2007, 15:15 pm

Excellent topic, Leo. I basically agree with Patrick. My miracle cure must be walking. Walk fast if you need stimulation and exercise and slow down if you need to unwind. It’s great for gathering your thoughts, getting clearer on something that got in a muddle. After a longer walk you will also find that the mind starts emptying out and you’ll find it easier to notice the surroundings, the scenery, the birds and trees.

Talking of Buddhism. A wonderful thing is the walking meditation they do. Silent, slowly, very deliberate steps and concentrating on your breathing. It’s sheer bliss. Might look odd, but what do the deer in the forest care about it…

Have a bit of tranquillity this weekend!

Gravatar

gp Says:

June 22nd, 2007, 22:31 pm

nothing like solitutde… a good ride out with my equine soulmate. Great for whatever ails

gp in montana

Gravatar

Dima Says:

July 8th, 2007, 15:35 pm

Hi!

Very interesting post indeed. I got to it searching for people who share my sense of constant chasing something in our world based on extensive communication.

I am currently trying to suggest an idea of a Commfree Day - one day every month to be spent away from media and information technology. I have a post with more explanation about it and will be glad to hear what you and others think about it: http://thinkmacro.wordpress.com/2007/07/08/commfree-day/

Thanks!

Gravatar

sarah benedict Says:

July 12th, 2007, 22:21 pm

In years past I have always stayed up until 3-4 am and used that time for “Sarah.” As my brother nears becoming a teenager he has caught onto my am free time trend. I actually found that when he, and even my mom, would stay up late I would be tense all week. It’s because I reenergize on being alone. The time mellows me out and allows reflection on reality. It’s amazing to me how much a few hours in actual isolation revive me.

Your ideas on how to give yourself more time seem like they would be more stressful, for me at least. It’s probably because I am addicted to electronics, but I feel that if you cut back on emails then they would just pile up and add more stress to your life. Although I know I couldn’t cut back on my Internet time, I do completely understand what you mean by having quite alone time. It’s very Zen.

Gravatar

Rod Sherwin Says:

July 13th, 2007, 0:13 am

It seems as a generation we are starting to reject mainstream news as negative and biased. I recently wrote a newsletter article about using EFT to overcome your addition to news.

By eliminating the news you will not only have more time alone but find that you have a more positive outlook on life in general.

Gravatar

mortgages Says:

April 27th, 2009, 6:03 am

Simply stunning blog and quite interesting post i like the way you express things, keep moving on it, good luck

Gravatar

free divorce papers Says:

June 12th, 2009, 16:37 pm

I am on the peak of doing #s 3, 4, 5, 12 and 13. The rest, either not applicable to me or I am still planning how to do it. Thanks for the inspiration.

Gravatar

БaKиHeЦ Says:

June 18th, 2009, 8:29 am

Да, интернет - огромен, если и такое можно найти ;)

Gravatar

Chara Says:

June 25th, 2009, 5:59 am

Dr Scott Peck talks about taking time out of every day to think about priorities in his book The Road Less Travelled and Beyond” - but this post has been a really good reminder of that.

Gravatar

Edgar Tanaka Says:

June 25th, 2009, 9:16 am

Living by myself was one of the greatest things that happened to me. I really need this time alone to recharge myself. Yung talks about introverted and extroverted people. Introverted people tend to lose energy while they are around people. Extroverted are the opposite. They gain energy being around people.

Your blog is great cause it changes people’s lives and habits (well at least for me!)
Thanks!

Add your comment





Incoming (28)