Engineer Life: Set Up Habit Changes So It’s Hard to Fail

Photo by chicadecasa

In his excellent ebook about changing habits, blogging friend Scott Young described the process of forming habits as walking home through fresh snow. The first person to go through the snow has to forge a path through the snow, and it’s difficult … but others will follow in that path and it gets easier and easier.

Forming a habit is a matter of forging that initial path until it’s harder not to take the path. Who wants to forge a new path through the snow?

But let’s take that concept a little further: what if you engineered it so that even the initial person forging through the snow would rather take that path than another, because it would be harder not to take the path.

Engineer your habit change so that it’s harder not to form the habit.

Why habit changes fail
I think I can safely say that all of us have attempted and failed at creating a new habit or changing an old habit at a few points in our lives. It can be hard to change old ways and create new ones.

The problem is that creating a new habit can be difficult. The reason: negative feedback.

Negative feedback is when we do something, and it is painful, or difficult, or we get criticized, or in some other way get a bad feeling rather than a good one. Difficult exercise, for example, contains inherent negative feedback, as it is more difficult than sitting on the couch. Quitting smoking contains negative feedback, because you suffer withdrawal pains and urges.

Positive feedback, on the other hand, is when you get compliments from friends and family that you look thinner or healthier, or the satisfaction from the number on the scale dropping. It’s the encouraging comments I get on this blog. It’s the great feeling when finishing a good run or a 5K.

But when the negative feedback makes the habit change difficult, especially in the first few weeks, habit changes often fail. That’s because it’s easier to quit the habit change than to keep doing the new habit, because of the negative feedback. It’s easier to take a puff from a cigarette than to suffer withdrawal pains. It’s easier to sit on the couch eating potato chips than to go out for that run.

Habit changes fail because the negative feedback from doing the new habit outweigh the positive feedback, and it becomes easier not to do the habit.

Engineer the habit change
So how do we overcome this problem? Think of it from an engineer’s point of view:

When negative feedback outweighs positive feedback, habit change fails.
To make the habit change successful, positive feedback has to outweigh negative feedback.
The solution: increase positive feedback and/or decrease negative feedback until the ratio favors the habit change.

Think of it this way: if you want to take a certain path in the snow, put obstacles along all other paths so that it’s difficult to go anywhere but the path you want to take … and have the path you want to take shoveled, so that it’s easy to take that path.

You can engineer your habit change so that it’s harder to quit than to do the habit.

How to do it
You have four options in your custom engineering solution. In each, I’ll give some ideas, but you’ll have to come up with ideas of your own to fit whatever habit you’re trying to change.

1. Increase positive feedback for the habit. Some habits have instant positive feedback, but often the positive feedback is delayed. It takes awhile to lose weight. It takes awhile before your blog starts getting encouraging comments. This delay in positive feedback is what causes many people to fail, because in the crucial first few weeks they are getting mostly positive feedback.

Instead, find ways to have instant positive feedback. The more, the better. Add as many of these (and others you can think of) as possible to increase chances of success. Some examples:

Creating a log or journal of your habit let’s you feel satisfied that you’re actually doing the habit.
Joining an online forum, where you can receive positive feedback from others going through the same thing. Quit smoking forums or running forums are two examples I’ve used. The Zen Habits challenge forum is a great idea.
Join a real-world group, such as a book club, a running club, a class, etc., where you can get similar feedback from people.
Reward yourself, early and often. Small rewards are appropriate, but celebrate every little success.
Email or talk to people about your habit change, giving them daily updates. If people expect the daily updates, you will feel motivated to do your habit so you can tell people about it.
Blog about it. If you have a few readers, they will most likely be encouraging.

2. Decrease negative feedback for the habit. First you have to list the negative feedback for your habit. For quitting smoking, there are urges and withdrawal pains. For exercise, it can be an exertion, which takes effort and energy. Analyze the negative feedback for your habit, all of them, and see how to decrease them. Some ideas:

For quitting smoking, reduce urges and withdrawal pains with nicotine gum or patches.
For exercise, reduce exertion by only doing a little bit in the beginning.
For eating healthy, reduce the negative taste feedback by eating healthy treats, such as berries, or adding a little bit of good fat or a little salt to make things tastier.
For reducing sweets, reduce urges by eating little treats, such as a bit of dark chocolate, or fruits.
For developing the reading habit, reduce boredom (if that’s the problem) by reading exciting and fun books. Thrillers are favorites of mine.

3. Increase negative feedback for not doing the habit. You want to make it hard not to do the habit. As hard as humanly possible. So to do that, you need to put all kinds of negative feedback on yourself for not doing the habit. Some ideas:

If you join a forum or a real-world group or give people you know regular updates, or update your blog readers (see ideas in #1 above), you will face the embarrassment of having to tell people you didn’t do the challenge.
Get a partner or coach or trainer, or your spouse, to make sure you do the habit, and to nag you if you don’t.
If you’re trying to develop the reading habit, remove all other temptations.
If you’re trying to exercise, get rid of the TV and Internet and make your house uncomfortable, until you do your exercise. Once you exercise, get your cable TV box or Internet modem back from your neighbor who was holding it for you.
If you’re trying to quit smoking, tell your kids not to let you smoke.
I’m sure you can think of many others — get creative!

4. Decrease positive feedback for not doing the habit. What tempts you not to do your habit today? Give this some thought, and then decrease those positive things. Some ideas:

If you’re trying to exercise (a common example), there is often positive feedback from not exercising, because it’s relaxing to stay home. So if that’s the case, reduce the relaxation at home. Get your spouse or kids to nag you. Get your mom to call you. Remove the cushions from your couch. Be creative!
If you’re trying to stop procrastinating, the positive feedback for procrastination is the fun of going on the Internet (for example). Well, disconnect from the Internet or use a utility to block the sites that waste your time.
If you’re trying to wake up early, there is of course the positive feedback that comes from sleeping in. Set up multiple alarms all around your room. Have people give you wake-up calls, so you can’t sleep. Have people waiting for you at the track for your morning run, or waiting for your phone call for an early business call.

Final word: In the end, be sure that you’ve engineered it so that it’s harder not to do the habit. If you fail, just add more of any or all of the above four options and try again. Don’t give up!

If you liked this article, please bookmark it on del.icio.us or vote for it on Digg. I’d appreciate it. :)

Engineer Life: Set Up Habit Changes So It’s Hard to Fail

Photo by chicadecasa

Forming a habit is a matter of forging that initial path until it’s harder not to take the path. Who wants to forge a new path through the snow?

Engineer your habit change so that it’s harder not to form the habit.

The problem is that creating a new habit can be difficult. The reason: negative feedback.

Habit changes fail because the negative feedback from doing the new habit outweigh the positive feedback, and it becomes easier not to do the habit.

Engineer the habit change
So how do we overcome this problem? Think of it from an engineer’s point of view:

When negative feedback outweighs positive feedback, habit change fails.
To make the habit change successful, positive feedback has to outweigh negative feedback.
The solution: increase positive feedback and/or decrease negative feedback until the ratio favors the habit change.

You can engineer your habit change so that it’s harder to quit than to do the habit.

Instead, find ways to have instant positive feedback. The more, the better. Add as many of these (and others you can think of) as possible to increase chances of success. Some examples:

Creating a log or journal of your habit let’s you feel satisfied that you’re actually doing the habit.
Joining an online forum, where you can receive positive feedback from others going through the same thing. Quit smoking forums or running forums are two examples I’ve used. The Zen Habits challenge forum is a great idea.
Join a real-world group, such as a book club, a running club, a class, etc., where you can get similar feedback from people.
Reward yourself, early and often. Small rewards are appropriate, but celebrate every little success.
Email or talk to people about your habit change, giving them daily updates. If people expect the daily updates, you will feel motivated to do your habit so you can tell people about it.
Blog about it. If you have a few readers, they will most likely be encouraging.

For quitting smoking, reduce urges and withdrawal pains with nicotine gum or patches.
For exercise, reduce exertion by only doing a little bit in the beginning.
For eating healthy, reduce the negative taste feedback by eating healthy treats, such as berries, or adding a little bit of good fat or a little salt to make things tastier.
For reducing sweets, reduce urges by eating little treats, such as a bit of dark chocolate, or fruits.
For developing the reading habit, reduce boredom (if that’s the problem) by reading exciting and fun books. Thrillers are favorites of mine.

If you join a forum or a real-world group or give people you know regular updates, or update your blog readers (see ideas in #1 above), you will face the embarrassment of having to tell people you didn’t do the challenge.
Get a partner or coach or trainer, or your spouse, to make sure you do the habit, and to nag you if you don’t.
If you’re trying to develop the reading habit, remove all other temptations.
If you’re trying to exercise, get rid of the TV and Internet and make your house uncomfortable, until you do your exercise. Once you exercise, get your cable TV box or Internet modem back from your neighbor who was holding it for you.
If you’re trying to quit smoking, tell your kids not to let you smoke.
I’m sure you can think of many others — get creative!

4. Decrease positive feedback for not doing the habit. What tempts you not to do your habit today? Give this some thought, and then decrease those positive things. Some ideas:

If you’re trying to exercise (a common example), there is often positive feedback from not exercising, because it’s relaxing to stay home. So if that’s the case, reduce the relaxation at home. Get your spouse or kids to nag you. Get your mom to call you. Remove the cushions from your couch. Be creative!
If you’re trying to stop procrastinating, the positive feedback for procrastination is the fun of going on the Internet (for example). Well, disconnect from the Internet or use a utility to block the sites that waste your time.
If you’re trying to wake up early, there is of course the positive feedback that comes from sleeping in. Set up multiple alarms all around your room. Have people give you wake-up calls, so you can’t sleep. Have people waiting for you at the track for your morning run, or waiting for your phone call for an early business call.

If you liked this article, please bookmark it on del.icio.us or vote for it on Digg. I’d appreciate it. :)

Posted on 17 September 2007 in Habits |
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Comments (25)

Anita Says:

September 17th, 2007, 6:56 am

Dynamite picture!! It gives such a good visual image of the topic. Your explanation of the major problem faced in habit forming makes great sense and fits my own experience. I understand now why during the past two months I’ve had success in habit forming. Taking on things that are small changes with not a huge amount of negative feedback and using the forum for positive feedback have been key for starting. After a short while the positive feedback from the habits themselves has been enough. Great article!

Feras Says:

September 17th, 2007, 7:02 am

Very Smart way to keep your self motivated, Thanks.

Hannes Calitz Says:

September 17th, 2007, 7:02 am

Thank you so much. I am trying to quit smoking, and this article will help a lot. :)

Justin Davey Says:

September 17th, 2007, 7:11 am

Great visual!

5. Remember the axiom: Begin With The End In Mind. Perspective matters. Think of standing on a long stretch of open road, wide where you are but ever so slowly becomes narrower and narrower as we look to the horizon. If we think of the road as a timeline, moving into the future as we look to the horizon, and the width of the road equaling the strength of the negative feedback when we develop a positive habit then we realize something. When we begin with the end in mind, positive feedback always outweighs the negative feedback as we move forward in time.

Thomas Enever Says:

September 17th, 2007, 9:34 am

In two weeks I have to complete a 75 mile bike ride… I really need to start training but my evenings are busy with my wife, reading or blogging - so I am going to try and get into the habit of training every morning from 6-7. This article was a real help… I’ll start tomorrow!

Georgio Says:

September 17th, 2007, 11:55 am

Awesome Leo! I don’t know how you keep coming out with these amazing articles but you do. This will really help me with some behaviour changes I’ve been working on but haven’t fully succeeded with. After reading your article I can see where I’m coming apart. Thanks Leo, great writing!!!

Megan Says:

September 17th, 2007, 12:40 pm

Great article! This blog has given me the insight to take control of my life! Thanks so much!

Craig Huggart Says:

September 17th, 2007, 13:15 pm

Leo,

This is THE best post I have read in months. And that’s saying something because I read around 600 posts / week.

This really jives with my experience. Change is hard but your chances increase if you start small and consciously set up good reward systems.

Wow, what can I say: I loved it!

Craig

Noel Says:

September 17th, 2007, 13:29 pm

At a conference, I once heard a speaker who gave a lecture on brain research on patterns/habits. He said that it takes an average of 17 times of doing something before it becomes ingrained.

dilip Says:

September 17th, 2007, 13:37 pm

Very good detailed advice.

Adrien Says:

September 17th, 2007, 15:19 pm

i find what works for me, is not to be so hard on myself on missing one day in doing a new habit. I figure that if I get it 50-75% of the time ,that is doing well, and to steadily improve my consisentency. I think sometimes people when they miss one or two days because of a stressful event, they declare failure (as I’ve done several times), and don’t get back on the horse and keep trying. With this new focus, I’ve been able to pick alot of new habits, and once a while I miss something, or fall back into a bad pattern. I don’t beat myself silly about it, and I just get back on horse and keep on trying.

Spike Says:

September 17th, 2007, 16:27 pm

Interesting read. I wrote last week about the different techniques needed when building habits during the first few days/weeks which you can read here

Symbo Says:

September 17th, 2007, 17:34 pm

Having only recently got broadband I’m relatively new to feed reading.
I initially subscribed to a lot of tech type blogs but found must of it just over my head or marketing speak. I believe Web Worker Daily or Lifehacker led me to you.

I have many habits (one major one) I’d like to change and as the weeks pass I find much inspiration in your posts.
Your engineering analogy is especially relevant to me personally as I start a new job on Monday with an Engineering company where I hope to realize my potential.
With this new job I intend to break many of my bad habits and create good new ones.
Thank you so much for your inspirational words. When I do my feed cull you are most definitely a keeper.

Ognjen Says:

September 18th, 2007, 6:41 am

Very good article. Yet, I think it would be hard to live under these habit adoption conditions for longer period of time. It sounds chaotic.

Ignacio Says:

September 18th, 2007, 13:17 pm

Interesting post. Similar to Kaizen (Continuum Improvement).
I recommend to read about it, it’s a very good start if you like (or need) to get over something. In my case, get up earlier ;-)

Greg Butler Says:

September 18th, 2007, 20:15 pm

I respectively disagree. Habits are mechanical. What is needed is awareness and inspiration. The great artists don’t rely on habit patterns in making great art. They rely on inspiration. When you fall in love, you don’t rely on habits when you say “I love you.” It springs up naturally, from the awakened heart.

The awareness and consciousness are attained by connecting to the source of being, by clearing away the programs and impressions of the past. By transcending habits which are nothing but dictates of the ego-mind trying to control everything.

See my post today (September 18) for more details.

nancy Says:

September 18th, 2007, 22:12 pm

I started getting up an hour earlier so I could tackle chores when I had energy, rather than at the end of the day when I was tired. First thing I’d do was walk the dog. It took about three days for him to learn that alarm = walk, so he makes sure I get up every morning, whether I want to or not.
Now if I could just teach him to run the vacuum cleaner…

mkay2008 Says:

September 19th, 2007, 10:24 am

Good advice, nice tips…I wonder how you manage it if you are dealing with more than one habit, lol..

Loraine Lawson Says:

September 22nd, 2007, 20:55 pm

Good post. I referenced it on my blog - for some reason, I can’t ever get the trackback to work.

http://timeforfamily.blogspot.com/2007/09/quick-tip-evening-stroll.html

Kalea Chapman, Psy.D. Says:

September 30th, 2007, 7:43 am

I’ve found the articles here unusually helpful.

That said, the definition of negative feedback above is incorrect. Negative feedback is the absence of punishment. If you keep whining and you’re spouse doesn’t respond — that’s negative feedback. You continue to do it because there’s no response. It’s a powerful reinforcer — not something that has a negative effect on motivation.

Of course, this might be more of a technical view, but it could cause confusion.

Leo Says:

October 2nd, 2007, 18:20 pm

@Kalea Chapman: Thanks for the info. I wasn’t trying to use a technical term, but a layman’s term that is descriptive and clearly communicates the concepts. I think from a layman’s perspective, the term “negative feedback” is a clear contrast with the term “positive feedback”.

What term would you use instead?

Daiko Says:

October 25th, 2007, 13:09 pm

Greg Butler seems to disparage habit in favor of awareness and inspiration. I would suggest that awareness and inspiration are habits, they are just habits of mind rather than habits of body.

Since reading this entry in September, I’ve been sure that I wanted to develop a new positive habit, but until this week I didn’t know what it was. Last night I figured it out: I want to develop the use of positive mental images as my habit.

The plan is this:

Every morning make a list of 3 great things to do today (they can be small, and should be easily managed given the constraints of the day).
Every evening make a list of (at least) 5 things that went right today (they can be small and don’t need to be directly related to me. For example, the Red Sox winning game one of the World Series could be one of these things).

I will be writing these down in a notebook to track my new routine. It only takes a minute for each, but I expect this exercise to develop my habits of awareness and inspiration. I hope to achieve some of what Greg talks about and enjoy life more by systematically reducing the time spent thinking on negatives and increasing the time spent thinking on positives.
___________________________
Wishing you a prosperous future
Daiko

Daiko Says:

October 25th, 2007, 13:13 pm

Leo: Why did it strip out my ordered list? Are ordered lists not allowed? It showed fine in the preview.

Daiko

Leo Says:

October 25th, 2007, 18:07 pm

@Daiko: I’m not sure … I don’t think ordered lists work in these comments. I usually just use asterisks to make a list in comments.

But I like your plan!

Deepak Says:

March 6th, 2008, 0:15 am

wonderful post..this is something which everyone can read, understand as its so simple and implement without any hazzles….an insight into ones life and motivationg his/her life for the better..thanks