Why Living a Life of Gratitude Can Make You Happy

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” - Meister Eckhart

Every Thursday is Happiness Day on Zen Habits.

Many days, I try to humble myself and hold a 2-minute gratitude session. I simply sit or kneel, with no distractions, close my eyes, and think about what I’m grateful for and who I’m grateful for.

I don’t do it every day, but let me tell you, on the days I do it, it makes me very happy.

Why should that be? Why should the simple act of thinking about who and what I’m grateful for make such a big difference in my life?

Just a few reasons:

Because it reminds you of the positive things in your life. It makes you happy about the people in your life, whether they’re loved ones or just a stranger you met who was kind to you in some ways.
Because it turns bad things into good things. Having problems at work? Be grateful you have work. Be grateful you have challenges, and that life isn’t boring. Be grateful that you can learn from these challenges. Be thankful they make you a stronger person.
Because it reminds you of what’s important. It’s hard to complain about the little things when you give thanks that your children are alive and healthy. It’s hard to get stressed out over paying bills when you are grateful there is a roof over your head.
Because it reminds you to thank others. I’ll talk about this more below, but the simple act of saying “thank you” to someone can make a big difference in that person’s life. Calling them, emailing them, stopping by to say thank you … just taking that minute out of your life to tell them why you are grateful toward them is important to them. People like being appreciated for who they are and what they do. It costs you little, but makes someone else happy. And making someone else happy will make you happy.

What do I give thanks for, privately, in my little gratitude session? It varies every day. I thank all the readers of this site, for the encouragement you have given me, for the donations you’ve made that have made me that much closer to realizing my dreams, for the criticism you’ve given that has made this site better … for the time you’ve given me, just reading the articles when you have the chance.

I thank my loved ones, for all they do to me. I thank strangers who’ve shown me little acts of kindness. I thank God, for the life he’s given me. I thank people around the world for the things they’ve done to make the world better. I thank myself, for things that I’ve done (it’s important to recognize your own accomplishments).

How to Live a Life of Gratitude
The thing is, simple acts of gratitude don’t cost you much (especially once you get over the initial discomfort some people feel with thanking others). But they can make a huge difference.

If you’re interested in living a life of gratitude, here are my suggestions:

Morning gratitude session. Take 2-3 minutes each morning to give thanks, to whoever or whatever you’re grateful for. You don’t have to do anything, other than close your eyes and silently give thanks. This one act can make a huge difference.
Say thank you. When someone does something nice for you, however small, try to remember to say thank you. And really mean it.
Call to say thanks. Sometimes you might think about something nice that someone did for you. Perhaps you remember during your gratitude session. When you do, pick up the phone and call the person, just to say thanks. Let them know what they did that you’re grateful for, and why you appreciate it. Takes a minute or two. If it’s too early to call, make a note to call later. Even better is telling them in person, if you happen to see them or if they’re on your route. Almost as good is a thank-you email — keep it short and sweet.
Give thanks for “negative” things in your life. There’s always two ways to look at something. Many times we think of something as negative — it’s stressful, harmful, sad, unfortunate, difficult. But that same thing can be looked at in a more positive way. Giving thanks for those things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. Problems can be seen as opportunities to grow, to be creative. See the prayer below for more on this.
Learn a gratitude prayer. There are many prayers, religious or not, that can remind you to be grateful. Find one you like, and print it out or make it your desktop wallpaper. Here’s a religious one, and here’s a collection from a multitude of religions. You can find many others on the Internet, or write your own. If you’re not religious, make one that doesn’t include the concept of God. A good one is below.

Let me leave you with a prayer of gratitude that I’ve always found … well, perfect:

Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~

If you liked this article, please bookmark it on del.icio.us or vote for it on Digg. I’d appreciate it. :)

See also:

Why Living a Life of Gratitude Can Make You Happy

Photo by kalandrakas

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” - Meister Eckhart

Every Thursday is Happiness Day on Zen Habits.

I don’t do it every day, but let me tell you, on the days I do it, it makes me very happy.

Why should that be? Why should the simple act of thinking about who and what I’m grateful for make such a big difference in my life?

Just a few reasons:

Because it reminds you of the positive things in your life. It makes you happy about the people in your life, whether they’re loved ones or just a stranger you met who was kind to you in some ways.
Because it turns bad things into good things. Having problems at work? Be grateful you have work. Be grateful you have challenges, and that life isn’t boring. Be grateful that you can learn from these challenges. Be thankful they make you a stronger person.
Because it reminds you of what’s important. It’s hard to complain about the little things when you give thanks that your children are alive and healthy. It’s hard to get stressed out over paying bills when you are grateful there is a roof over your head.
Because it reminds you to thank others. I’ll talk about this more below, but the simple act of saying “thank you” to someone can make a big difference in that person’s life. Calling them, emailing them, stopping by to say thank you … just taking that minute out of your life to tell them why you are grateful toward them is important to them. People like being appreciated for who they are and what they do. It costs you little, but makes someone else happy. And making someone else happy will make you happy.

If you’re interested in living a life of gratitude, here are my suggestions:

Morning gratitude session. Take 2-3 minutes each morning to give thanks, to whoever or whatever you’re grateful for. You don’t have to do anything, other than close your eyes and silently give thanks. This one act can make a huge difference.
Say thank you. When someone does something nice for you, however small, try to remember to say thank you. And really mean it.
Call to say thanks. Sometimes you might think about something nice that someone did for you. Perhaps you remember during your gratitude session. When you do, pick up the phone and call the person, just to say thanks. Let them know what they did that you’re grateful for, and why you appreciate it. Takes a minute or two. If it’s too early to call, make a note to call later. Even better is telling them in person, if you happen to see them or if they’re on your route. Almost as good is a thank-you email — keep it short and sweet.
Give thanks for “negative” things in your life. There’s always two ways to look at something. Many times we think of something as negative — it’s stressful, harmful, sad, unfortunate, difficult. But that same thing can be looked at in a more positive way. Giving thanks for those things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. Problems can be seen as opportunities to grow, to be creative. See the prayer below for more on this.
Learn a gratitude prayer. There are many prayers, religious or not, that can remind you to be grateful. Find one you like, and print it out or make it your desktop wallpaper. Here’s a religious one, and here’s a collection from a multitude of religions. You can find many others on the Internet, or write your own. If you’re not religious, make one that doesn’t include the concept of God. A good one is below.

Let me leave you with a prayer of gratitude that I’ve always found … well, perfect:

Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~

If you liked this article, please bookmark it on del.icio.us or vote for it on Digg. I’d appreciate it. :)

See also:

Posted on 13 September 2007 in Happiness |
Digg |
Del.icio.us |
Stumble |
Print

Comments (38)

William Mize Says:

September 13th, 2007, 5:38 am

I think the number one reason that I do the same thing (gratitude session each night) is that it gets me out of the “ME!” mentality and gets me out of my little selfish and self centered world and into the “THEM” or “US” or “WE” mentality.

We are all connected.

- Bill

jaanussiim Says:

September 13th, 2007, 5:41 am

Not a long time reader, but a subscribed reader. Really loving every article and putting the prayer gratitude on the wall. I must say, that I am feeling the change your articles have caused in my life. Keep it up!

Chee Kui Says:

September 13th, 2007, 5:44 am

Nice tips here. I believe when we’re grateful for what we already have, the Universe will respond by providing more of it. ;)

Luis Olmos Says:

September 13th, 2007, 5:54 am

Great article, my mom used to sing a thank you prayer to my siblings and me when we went to school. I try to listen to Bob Marley’s great song “thank you Lord”. Such a simple sweet song of gratitude.

Christopher Kijowski Says:

September 13th, 2007, 6:42 am

I smiled as I read your post this morning. I have always enjoyed the word “humility” and have relied on its meaning frequently when I struggle with gratitude. This normally happens when I allow the fast pace of life to take over and I feel as though I am being swept away by a tidal wave. As part of my meditation practice, usually before I meditate, I take time to be thankful for all that I have. I teach my kids that they are wealthy beyond any dreams when they have a healthy and well-defined spiritual center, that wealth and happiness are not defined by the advertisements and reality shows which bombard are youth every day.

Christi Says:

September 13th, 2007, 6:51 am

And as this morning breaks….thank YOU for sharing this.

Morelos Barros Says:

September 13th, 2007, 6:53 am

Most excellent post, Leo. I tend to feel grateful very often and that indeed makes your days lighter and life takes a very different meaning.

Thanks for this post and your wonderful blog!

Hannes Calitz Says:

September 13th, 2007, 7:20 am

Wonderful article. Thanks :)

noor ashraaf Says:

September 13th, 2007, 7:34 am

Say “Alhamdulillah” with a profound sense of love, adoration, and awe of the power, glory, and mercy of God. It means “Praise to God”, In everyday speech it simply means “Thank God!”. Say it in the morning when you wake up, before you are having meal, and before you go to bed.

A great post indeed!

Pat Says:

September 13th, 2007, 7:57 am

Wow, I am new to Zenhabits.net, but I have to say that I am intrigued by every article that I have read so far. I never realized how something this simple could have such a profound effect on my life. Thanks for the great post, and keep ‘em coming! You’ve got a new fan.

Leo Says:

September 13th, 2007, 8:13 am

Thank all of you! You guys are so encouraging that it makes writing for ZH a blast. I am grateful for all of the kind words.

Liara Covert Says:

September 13th, 2007, 8:30 am

Simplicity is indeed inspirational. Thank you for reminding readers of this. I’m grateful I discovered your website as the result of reading mondaymorningpower. Mel has compiled a great list of dedicated bloggers.

As for me, each morning, I begin my days by voicing a list of reasons why I’m thankful. I also make a point of expressing views aloud throughout the day. When you communicate with the Universe, it reverberrates back in ways you never even imagine!

Jason Says:

September 13th, 2007, 8:45 am

Very good. It’s a reminder I need to hear in this fast paced frenzied world.

Alex Shalman Says:

September 13th, 2007, 9:05 am

Leo,

I just wanted to thank you for writing your great posts ;)

Lottie Says:

September 13th, 2007, 9:12 am

Thank you. I’m grateful I found this website and today I’m grateful for the links you shared that led me to many wonderful prayers.

Katy Lady Says:

September 13th, 2007, 9:54 am

I am a new reader. I read your entries everyday, and everyday they open my eyes so see something beautiful. Thank you!

Justin Davey Says:

September 13th, 2007, 10:14 am

Great article Leo! One of the keys to a happy life is indeed gratitude and also SERVICE. Additionally, you will never be able to integrate any principles of simplicity into your life until your thankful for all the stuff that’s cluttering it up! Just think, if you’re able to read this posting this morning, than more than likely your one of the single-digit percentage of citizens in the world that probably have way more than they need and actually need to be reminded to be thankful.

Hulsy Says:

September 13th, 2007, 10:14 am

Thank YOU ! For this post and the whole blog which gives me every day new tips and news ways to improve my life…

Henry Thoreau Says:

September 13th, 2007, 10:18 am

What a wonderful post.

We have a saying in our household: “try to speak as if Darfur can hear you”–as in: try not to complain about problems of abundance.

Don’t complain about the lines at the grocery store and be thankful you can buy food. Don’t complain about the crowds at Ikea–be thankful you have a place to live.

Best,

Henry

Annie Says:

September 13th, 2007, 11:43 am

Many blessings to you. After a particularly difficult ’something negative’ in life, I gave up this practice for a week. I soon found the practice of gratitude also becomes a habit and I was unable to escape it, though I tried. Learning to see the shining light through the pain, is the gift of gratitude. And pain, however small in comparison to other’s pain and others’ pain, is still pain. Thank you for this blog and the kindness with which you treat your readers.

Truthteller Says:

September 13th, 2007, 12:07 pm

One of the best ways to show your gratitude is allow yourself to totally enjoy the moment. Give yourself over completely and without limitation, much like a child will do. You deserve it and you deserve more of it. Thank you

Eduardo

luke Says:

September 13th, 2007, 12:29 pm

Some years ago I discovered that real gratitude is a very powerful and moving experience, and can be used any time, in response to ANY situation. I often start just by saying “thank you” to nothing in particular, and eventually the object fills in and I’m flooded with the feeling of gratitude and joy.

I can even ‘trick’ myself to feel gratitude for things that I’m otherwise frustrated or angry with, by finding one small corner of that thing that I can be thankful for. Even the experience of being frustrated or angry is a cause of strong gratitude - those feelings tell me that I’m alive and feeling, that I have a meaningful response to the world around me. After spending a little time feeling that gratitude I can expand it to include the source of that frustration itself, which after all is the seed experience that made me feel more alive/feeling/aware to begin with.

I’m 100% atheist, yet I find that the experience becomes more profound if I include the word “God” in my gratitude. No, this doesn’t mean I secretly believe in a higher deity, but rather that “God” is an excellent short-cut for describing The Big Picture in a feeling and meaningful way (which is what I think god-belief comes from anyway). For instance, I can be deeply thankful for the rain (which may be getting me unhappily wet) because it cleans the air and ground, feeds the plants and so on, but when I add God to that thanking, I become thankful for the beautiful majesty of weather, for dance of water through sky and river and ocean, for the complexity of life that is possible because of it. All starting because I was getting wet in the rain.

It can indeed be a truly exhilarating and transforming experience.

Wendi Says:

September 13th, 2007, 12:58 pm

Thank you for this wonderful reminder. Having a daily time of gratefulness is so important for me. It is sometimes difficult for me to do, but I notice when I do it things seem to flow my way. Which in turn gives me more to be thankful for.

Prasun Says:

September 13th, 2007, 13:07 pm

Oh, how can I thank you Leo !

luke Says:

September 13th, 2007, 13:08 pm

Sorry to be so verbose but I wanted to add one thing - I notice that in some descriptions there is the idea of comparing one’s experience to someone else’s, e.g. my pain at my wife’s comments last night is nothing in comparison to the spousal abuse so many people experience, so I should be grateful. This is like the “think of the starving people in Africa and eat your dinner” argument so many children have to endure.

If it works - if it leads to a real experience of gratitude and even joy - then absolutely go for it! But I suspect that for many it takes a bit of effort to turn comparisons into thankfulness.

I suggest dealing with the issue itself.

For instance, my wife’s negative comments last night: I felt angry that she made them, frustrated that it’s an ongoing issue, and even more anger at the time wasted dealing with this stuff, and perhaps a little despair because I know it’ll never change and the cycle will go over and over and over (see - I can get really worked up!).

So instead, I first say internally “thank you”, and after a bit I realize that I’m thankful for my own ability to feel anger in the first place, that I’m a living responsive human being (note that I’m not getting into whether I’m right or wrong). This is actually quite a profound thing - to be an aware, alive human being!. As I allow the gratitude for that to grow, after a bit it expands to include not just my feelings, but to include my wife’s role - after all, if she wasn’t negative I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to feel alive and responsive. So I become grateful to HER.

I’m also grateful to her because that experience inspired me to respond to this blog post and clarify the process in my own mind; that has a lot of value for me and I’m grateful there as well.

There’s another important detail about all this: it doesn’t make me right. It also doesn’t make my wife right or wrong. Rather, it changes my emotional state from anger/frustration/closedness to joy/gratitude/openness. It’s a much better place from which to seek a solution.

Thomas Enever Says:

September 13th, 2007, 13:28 pm

The gratitude prayer is terrific, I will be forwarding this to my family.

Thank you for Zenhabits.

You should know that in an effort to reduce all the numerous blogs and feeds that were in my reader, and in the spirit of Zenhabits, I reduced my blogroll to my 10 favorites, nedless to say Zenhabits made the cut!

Annie Says:

September 13th, 2007, 15:46 pm

Thank you, Luke. I was trying to get at that point, as well, but did not make my position as succinctly as you did yours. I grew up hearing the comparisons of pain, and I agree; it works for some. Hearing that my obstacle is nothing compared to someone else just makes me feel small inside. You have shown me how to find gratitude in even that! Eternal thankfulness goes to the individual who awakened in me the knowledge that it is ‘okay’ for me to feel emotions other than what people think I should feel or tell me I should feel.

I hope I do not come across as judgmental of others; I am inspired by the families who have a gratitude practice together. The lessons those young ones are learning are created in love and peace, certainly not to silence them.

TazzieDave Says:

September 13th, 2007, 17:32 pm

Here’s a website with some wonderful ways of looking at gratitude:

http://www.gogratitude.com/masterkey/

I love the symbol.

Jenn Says:

September 13th, 2007, 18:33 pm

Thank you for this wonderful post! I like to do a gratitude session during my morning bike ride to work. It is a wonderful way to start the day. I have been slacking on it lately, so thank you for reminding me why it’s so important!

Dave Says:

September 14th, 2007, 1:04 am

Thank you for posting this! It’s a wonderful reminder of how we’ve been blessed in our individual lives.

Sometimes when I pray I try to go the whole prayer without asking for anything, and simply offer thanks for what I’ve been given. It’s remarkable how wonderful I feel after I do it.

Again, thanks for the post.

- Dave
http://www.LivSimpl.com

Isobel Says:

September 14th, 2007, 2:49 am

Thanks, Leo.

I find that saying thank you and being grateful for things makes me feel so much better. It’s nice to be nice, in fact.

The Germans have a saying: “What you shout into the forest comes back to you as an echo.” Better get “nice” echoing back than “nasty” any day. :-))

Dana Says:

September 14th, 2007, 12:03 pm

Leo,
Consider this a call to say thanks.
Some of the things I’m grateful for are your articulate posts everyday.
Thank you for adding your light to my life!

jong Says:

September 16th, 2007, 7:12 am

i totally agree. great article as always.
cheers!

Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker Says:

September 17th, 2007, 1:52 am

Gratitude is such a simple thing with so many benefits. Practicing gratitude is such a nice way to start or end my day.

Alicia Perry Says:

September 18th, 2007, 11:42 am

I wanted to pass along something about which you can help spread the word. It is a new book called “Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier” by Dr. Robert Emmons. He is a psychology professor at UC Davis. Dr. Emmons actually researched gratitude for eight years using scientific methods. He discovered the benefits that gratitude provides ranging from physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. “Thanks!” is available anywhere books are sold and on Amazon. The news site is http://www.thanksbook.com.

kerul Says:

September 20th, 2007, 8:34 am

Sometimes it’s hard to remove yourself from getting carried away with your emotions in the moment, so I offer this poem from Rumi, which I hope you enjoy and find wisdom in:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

– Jelaluddin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks

quench Says:

September 22nd, 2007, 0:18 am

@Luke: Thanks for your comment. I’m one of those people who feel a wall go up as soon as someone says “just think about how much worse things could be!” It’s hard to be grateful then, in part because I start thinking about all the genuine suffering of others, and in the world, and I do not feel grateful for that.
Somehow, the gratitude poem posted above also struck me the wrong way. What’s great about having something to look forward to, for example? That is hardly a reason to wish that things go badly now.
Does that make sense? Ah, well.
In any case, I DO agree that it’s important to feel gratitude, and it’s a very common experience in my life. But not because I could be worse off, or because others are worse off, or because there is something better to come. Just be thankful for the present experience, as it is.