Photo courtesy of geeknerd99

A Simple Guide to Being Present for the Overworked and Overwhelmed

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

How often are you driving while talking on a cell phone, or thinking about work problems, or the errands you have to do? How often do you eat without thinking about the food you’re eating? How often do you drift off while doing other things, thinking about something you messed up on, or worrying about something that’s coming up?

I would submit that most of us are elsewhere, much of the time, rather than in the here and now.

If I could only give one word of advice to someone trying to find peace in an overwhelming and stressful and chaotic world, it would be this: simplify. But if I could give two more words of advice, they’d be: be present.

I can’t claim to be perfect at being present. I can’t claim that I do it all the time. But I can say this: I’ve been practicing being present for awhile now, and I’ve gotten better at it. I’ve learned a lot about being present, and I’d like to share that with others.

This article came from a suggestion from commenter Mark, after I wrote about ways to create a peaceful, relaxed workday. It’s an article I’d been planning to write for some time, but Mark spurred me to do it sooner — so thanks Mark!

Focus On Now
There are three things we can think about:

The past. Reliving things we messed up about. Being embarrassed about something we did. Wishing we could have something back that is gone. Living in memories of good times past. Being angry about things done to us. You get the idea.
The future. Worrying about things we need to do later. Worrying about what might happen, or a big event coming up. Being anxious that things might go wrong, or that we might mess up. Hoping for something wonderful. Dreaming of great things to come.
The present. What is happening right now, at this moment. What we are doing now.

It is inevitable that we will think about all three. We cannot stop ourselves from thinking about the past or the future. However, with practice, we can focus on the present more than we already do.

But why should we do that? What’s wrong with focusing on the past or future? Nothing’s wrong with it. It isn’t wrong to think about past or future. However, there’s nothing we can do about things that have already happened, and worrying or agonizing about them doesn’t usually do us much good. I’d suggest analyzing what happened, learning from it, and moving on. It’s much healthier.

We also can’t control the future. It’s impossible. We can do things that will change the future, but they might change the future in ways we cannot anticipate. Or they might not change things at all. And the only thing we can do about the future is do something … now. In the present. So focusing on what we do now is the best way to improve the future. Not thinking about the future. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have goals or shouldn’t plan — but goals change (I know this first-hand, as my goals at the end of 2007 were completely different from what they were at the beginning). Plans change. We must be prepared for that change not by overplanning, but by being in the moment and rolling with the punches.

There’s also the problem of missing the present. If we spend most of our time thinking about the past or future, we are missing life itself. It’s passing us by while we’re elsewhere. You can’t get the most out of life unless you learn to focus on being present, while things are happening. Thinking about your childhood, or your kid’s future, is useless if your kids’ childhood is passing by without you being there.

Benefits of Being in the Moment
I’ve noticed a ton of benefits from my increased focus on the present. Here are just a few to consider:

Increased enjoyment. I find that I enjoy life more if I’m present rather than having my mind elsewhere. Food tastes better, I have more fun with my family, even work becomes more enjoyable.
Reduced stress. Worrying about the past and future gives you stress. But being present is almost like meditation. There are no worries. There is just experiencing.
Better relationships. When you really commit yourself to being with someone, to listening to them, you are being a better father, husband, friend, daughter, girlfriend. You have better conversations. You bond.
Get things done. I find that focusing on what I’m doing, rather than trying to multitask or multithink a million different things at once, I actually complete what I’m doing, do a better job on it, and get it done faster. I don’t necessarily do more, but I get things done. Focus tends to get things done, in my experience, and when your focus is split among a lot of things, it is less powerful.

The Magic of Flow
There’s a concept called Flow that’s been pretty popular among productivity circles in the last couple of years. I’m a big fan of it myself. In a nutshell, it’s basically losing yourself in whatever you’re doing — reaching that magical zone where you forget about the outside world and are completely doing what you’re doing, whether that’s writing or drawing or coding or whatever.

It’s a wonderfully productive zone to be in, and a state that also, incidentally, makes you happier. Productive and happier at the same time. Hard to beat that.

However, it can’t happen if you’re switching between tasks or thinking about the past or the future. It basically happens when you are in the present. So practicing being present will help you get to flow, which makes you happier and more productive. Best argument yet for being present, perhaps.

Practice, Practice
There’s no single method that will get you better at being present. I don’t have the magical formula, except one word that I often tell my kids when they’re learning anything or striving to be better at anything: practice.

You won’t be good at it at first, most likely. Your mind will wander, or you’ll do a lot of “meta-thinking”, which is just thinking about what you’re thinking, and whether you’re thinking it the right way, and whether there is a right way … and so on, until you’re no longer in the present. That’s normal. We all do that, I think.

Don’t beat yourself up about that. Don’t get discouraged. Just practice.

So what’s the magical method for learning to be present? Practice.

You do it in the morning. You practice it while eating lunch. You do it with your evening jog or walk. You do it while washing dishes after dinner. Every opportunity you get, practice.

And you’ll get better. I promise.

One Month Challenge
The best method I can offer for learning to be present, the best method for practicing, is to focus on it for one month. Make focusing on being present a habit. If you make it your only focus, I guarantee you’ll get better at it, and more importantly, you’ll get into the habit of remembering to focus, of remembering to practice, of being more aware.

Do a one-month challenge. It’s the best method for forming new habits, and it works for being present. A good way to do this is join the monthly challenge on the Zen Habits forums. Then do the following:

Tell people on the forum what your monthly challenge will be (focusing on being present).
Log in daily to report on your progress. This gives you the accountability and motivation needed.
Do the tips below every day for a month.

“The living moment is everything.” - D.H. Lawrence

Tips On Being Present
You just knew I couldn’t end this post without a list of tips. So here are things that have worked for me … pick and choose the ones that you think will work best for you:

When you eat, just eat. The best way to think about being present is this: do just one thing at a time. When you are eating, don’t read or think about something else or iron your clothes (especially if you’re eating something that might splatter on the clothes). Just eat. Pay attention to what you’re eating. Really experience it — the taste, the texture. Do it slowly. Same thing with anything else: washing dishes, taking a shower, driving, working, playing. Don’t do multiple things at once — just do what you’re doing now, and nothing else.
Be aware. Another important step is to become more aware of your thoughts. You will inevitably think about the past and future. That’s OK. Just become aware of those thoughts. Awareness will bring change.
Be gentle. If you think about the past or future, do not beat yourself up about it! Don’t try to force those thoughts out of your head. Just be aware of them, and gently allow them to leave. Then bring yourself back to the present.
Zazen. Ah, you were wondering when Zen Habits would have anything to do with Zen, right? Zazen is basically the center of Zen practice. It’s simply sitting. It’s a form of meditation, but really it’s just sitting. You don’t have to contemplate Zen koans or the meaning of the universe or chant anything. You just sit, and focus on sitting. I haven’t done this much recently, but when I have, it has been very useful practice for me.
Exercise. These days, exercise is my zazen. Running is my sitting practice. I run, and try to only run. I focus on my running, on my breathing, on my body, on nothing but the present. It’s great practice.
Daily routines. Anything can be your zazen. When you wash dishes, this is practice. This is your meditation. When you walk, focus on walking. Make anything you do become practice.
Put up reminders. A reminder on your fridge or computer desktop or on your wall is a good thing. Or use a reminder service to send you a daily email. Whatever it takes to keep your focus on practicing being present.
There is no failure. You will mess up, but that’s OK, because it is impossible to mess up. The only thing that matters is that you practice, and over time, if you keep doing it, you will learn to focus on the present more often than you do now. You cannot fail, even if you stop doing it for awhile. Doing it at all is success. Celebrate every little success.
Keep practicing. When you get frustrated, just take a deep breath. When you ask yourself, “What should I do now, Self?”, the answer is “keep practicing”.

“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” - Albert Einstein

If you liked this article, please share it on del.icio.us or on Digg. I’d appreciate it. :)

A Simple Guide to Being Present for the Overworked and Overwhelmed

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I would submit that most of us are elsewhere, much of the time, rather than in the here and now.

Focus On Now
There are three things we can think about:

The past. Reliving things we messed up about. Being embarrassed about something we did. Wishing we could have something back that is gone. Living in memories of good times past. Being angry about things done to us. You get the idea.
The future. Worrying about things we need to do later. Worrying about what might happen, or a big event coming up. Being anxious that things might go wrong, or that we might mess up. Hoping for something wonderful. Dreaming of great things to come.
The present. What is happening right now, at this moment. What we are doing now.

It is inevitable that we will think about all three. We cannot stop ourselves from thinking about the past or the future. However, with practice, we can focus on the present more than we already do.

Benefits of Being in the Moment
I’ve noticed a ton of benefits from my increased focus on the present. Here are just a few to consider:

Increased enjoyment. I find that I enjoy life more if I’m present rather than having my mind elsewhere. Food tastes better, I have more fun with my family, even work becomes more enjoyable.
Reduced stress. Worrying about the past and future gives you stress. But being present is almost like meditation. There are no worries. There is just experiencing.
Better relationships. When you really commit yourself to being with someone, to listening to them, you are being a better father, husband, friend, daughter, girlfriend. You have better conversations. You bond.
Get things done. I find that focusing on what I’m doing, rather than trying to multitask or multithink a million different things at once, I actually complete what I’m doing, do a better job on it, and get it done faster. I don’t necessarily do more, but I get things done. Focus tends to get things done, in my experience, and when your focus is split among a lot of things, it is less powerful.

It’s a wonderfully productive zone to be in, and a state that also, incidentally, makes you happier. Productive and happier at the same time. Hard to beat that.

So what’s the magical method for learning to be present? Practice.

You do it in the morning. You practice it while eating lunch. You do it with your evening jog or walk. You do it while washing dishes after dinner. Every opportunity you get, practice.

And you’ll get better. I promise.

Tell people on the forum what your monthly challenge will be (focusing on being present).
Log in daily to report on your progress. This gives you the accountability and motivation needed.
Do the tips below every day for a month.

“The living moment is everything.” - D.H. Lawrence

When you eat, just eat. The best way to think about being present is this: do just one thing at a time. When you are eating, don’t read or think about something else or iron your clothes (especially if you’re eating something that might splatter on the clothes). Just eat. Pay attention to what you’re eating. Really experience it — the taste, the texture. Do it slowly. Same thing with anything else: washing dishes, taking a shower, driving, working, playing. Don’t do multiple things at once — just do what you’re doing now, and nothing else.
Be aware. Another important step is to become more aware of your thoughts. You will inevitably think about the past and future. That’s OK. Just become aware of those thoughts. Awareness will bring change.
Be gentle. If you think about the past or future, do not beat yourself up about it! Don’t try to force those thoughts out of your head. Just be aware of them, and gently allow them to leave. Then bring yourself back to the present.
Zazen. Ah, you were wondering when Zen Habits would have anything to do with Zen, right? Zazen is basically the center of Zen practice. It’s simply sitting. It’s a form of meditation, but really it’s just sitting. You don’t have to contemplate Zen koans or the meaning of the universe or chant anything. You just sit, and focus on sitting. I haven’t done this much recently, but when I have, it has been very useful practice for me.
Exercise. These days, exercise is my zazen. Running is my sitting practice. I run, and try to only run. I focus on my running, on my breathing, on my body, on nothing but the present. It’s great practice.
Daily routines. Anything can be your zazen. When you wash dishes, this is practice. This is your meditation. When you walk, focus on walking. Make anything you do become practice.
Put up reminders. A reminder on your fridge or computer desktop or on your wall is a good thing. Or use a reminder service to send you a daily email. Whatever it takes to keep your focus on practicing being present.
There is no failure. You will mess up, but that’s OK, because it is impossible to mess up. The only thing that matters is that you practice, and over time, if you keep doing it, you will learn to focus on the present more often than you do now. You cannot fail, even if you stop doing it for awhile. Doing it at all is success. Celebrate every little success.
Keep practicing. When you get frustrated, just take a deep breath. When you ask yourself, “What should I do now, Self?”, the answer is “keep practicing”.

“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” - Albert Einstein

If you liked this article, please share it on del.icio.us or on Digg. I’d appreciate it. :)

Posted on 5 February 2008 in Happiness, Simplicity |
Digg |
Del.icio.us |
Stumble |
Print

Comments (76)

Amir Ahmad | PassionBasedLearning.com Says:

February 5th, 2008, 21:58 pm

Another great post Leo.

Although I believe some constructive worrying about the future can be a good thing (if not overdone of course). ;)

Crystal Says:

February 5th, 2008, 21:59 pm

I LOVE the concept, and more importantly the feeling of flow. When I get there, I call it my “flow mojo”! Great post, thanks!

Tina Russell Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:00 pm

I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Tina Russell

Lexi Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:09 pm

oh this is so hard!

i’m always surrounded by children, so it’s quite hard to find quiet times. but i know that i can do it: be in the present while i’m feeding the baby; really listen when the teenager is talking; stay fully aware when doing catechism with the first-grader….

thanks for the reminder leo!

Zack Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:10 pm

I discovered the idea of mindfulness about a year ago and have been consistently trying to attain it. To live in the present really is the best way to reduce stress and enjoy life.

Amazing post.

Michael Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:34 pm

I just studied flow in psychology class. It’s quite an amazing thing. If you can find something that gets you into this state, it tells you mounds about what you are really passionate about and what can bring you the most happiness.

Along with your other tips, the one I agree with more than anything is finding 1 time during the day where you can be completely in the present, detached from all outside influences. For me, like you Leo, it’s in running and exercise. When I run I get into such a peaceful and euphoric state, all of my worries disappear. Meditation is also a great practice.

Adam Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:46 pm

Ah, the joys of hypomania… you can be here, there, and then… all at the same time! That’s of course until you get the credit card bill.

Fiscal Musings Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:47 pm

All too often we dwell on past mistakes which we can’t do anything about. Making a conscious effort not to do this would serve us all well.

WellnessAid Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:47 pm

Don’t be disappointed if it will take you a bit longer then a month to develop the habit. For example, I’ve been working on this habit for years – and still see very little progress. However, even the small progress that I feel I’ve made, makes me so much happier…

Best wishes.

—
How often do you feel unwell?
That’s too often…

http://www.WellnessAid.com

Al at 7P Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:50 pm

Ahh, yes. Flow. I recently discovered Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s work, and am a big fan.

Not only did Csikszentmihalyi study about flow, but also about happiness. His psychology research suggested that when you fully use your physical and mental capacity (which occurs when you’re fully engaged in the moment), you can reach ultimate happiness.

Seems intuitive - to be fully happy, you need to be fully in the moment. However, I don’t think too many people really know this. Thank you for reminding us!

Chris Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:55 pm

Great article. I just found out about Zen Habits, and have found it really useful. I am a college student, so all the tips about stress and concentration are very helpful. Just wondering, any other college students out there? Thanks again for the great post!

-Chris

Chi Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:58 pm

Hmm. Yes, well, I’m still not seeing how “being present” is the best state of being. Worrying about the future is a way of forcing oneself to not forget about doing something in the now. Example: someone who should study now, might worry about failing a future test. Similarly, recalling bad experiences in the past will stop once good ones replace them or better habits suggest they won’t repeat.

If I had to choose any one thing to point out, it’s that “the Emperor has no clothes” in the section after the Focus on Now list. You just must not be thinking clearly at this point.

Josh Says:

February 5th, 2008, 22:59 pm

I really like that you included daily routines here, they really do make me feel less hectic. I wonder if people with really bad OCD who do rituals basically get the exact same response (yet the hectic feeling more than overwhelming).

Very cool post. Can you recommend any books on the subject Leo? I remember getting a book from a shrink I was seeing when I was in college and had very bad anxiety who gave me a book along these lines, but I was in a big Ayn Rand phase and refused to read anything wishy-washy.
Thanks,
Josh

Leo Says:

February 5th, 2008, 23:26 pm

Thanks for all the input guys!

@Chi: Thanks for your viewpoint! As I said in the post, it’s unavoidable to think about the future, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t plan. But using your example: beyond worrying about your future test for a few seconds, which will remind you to study for it now … how would worrying about the test for any longer help you? After the initial worry (again, just a few seconds) any further worrying does no good at all. The only thing you can do that is beneficial is to do something in the present (study).

So after making the decision that you should study in order to do well on the test … you have two options: worry some more (thinking about the future), or actually study (focus on the present). I’d argue that the second is the better option.

I’m not sure which section you’re referring to exactly when you say the Emperor has no clothes … I mean, I get the reference, but which section of my post you mean when you say I wasn’t thinking clearly isn’t clear to me. :)

@Josh: I wish I could recommend some great books on this topic but I haven’t done enough reading. The only thing I can recommend is Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. Recommendations from others would be welcome!

Tim Says:

February 5th, 2008, 23:28 pm

@Josh

Have a look at Eckhart Tolle, “The Power of Now” and if that floats your boat, read his other stuff :)

Leo’s post is a nice intro to Tolle’s work.

Cheers,
Tim

Miss Xynix Says:

February 5th, 2008, 23:35 pm

i agree that keeping a reminder is a gr8 way to keep urself present. It helps us focusing on what is important.

i think im gonna have to start practicing more and more on things. Thanks for the tips!

Mark Says:

February 6th, 2008, 0:29 am

My eyes lit up when I saw this headline in my feedreader, and then seeing my name gave me a huge smile! I am glad my request helped spur you, and thank you for the mention! But more importantly, thank you for yet another great post — I will definitely take you up on the 30 day challenge.

Oh, and I love the quotes!

Pramod Says:

February 6th, 2008, 0:36 am

Great post.I shared on del.icio.us :)

Working Girl Says:

February 6th, 2008, 0:48 am

Hmmm. I knew there would eventually be a backlash to the whole multitasking thing!

You just can’t do your homework while texting while watching television while listening to music.

You just can’t.

Doug Says:

February 6th, 2008, 1:36 am

Fun article, although my old math teacher would argue with you that their is really nothing but the past or future. Timeframe wise defining the present is terribly difficult since as soon as you do it it has already become the past. Really though you should be making use of all three. In your examples you talk about regretting the past and worrying about the future, but that doesn’t inherently make either bad. While listening to a song I could be appreciating the theme of a previous movement/verse/etc. while enjoying the current portion of the work and joyfully anticipating what will be coming next.

The only thing being present really seems to do is limit yourself so that the chance of negative thoughts lessens, but it also limits your chance for grandeur as well. I would think it more productive to learn how to control your thoughts about past and future so that they generate “good” emotions. I do agree that focusing on a task at hand will improve it (you mentioned Flow) but simply living in the present would lead to a pretty eclectic life.

Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Says:

February 6th, 2008, 1:49 am

There’s nothing like living in the present. It’s a lifestyle that’s worked well for me and something I wrote about:

“So, what does the future hold? Well, I don’t know. And for once in my life that doesn’t bother me. The way I see it, there’s no point in letting it stress me out. Most of the things that used to worry me never happened at all. And the few that did happen either didn’t last very long or were nowhere near as bad as I thought they would be.

“My approach is simply to take life one day at a time. I’ve been through enough to know that whatever happens, I’ll be okay. As long as I surround myself with good people, have faith that things will work out, and have fun along the way, I’ll be just fine. More than that, I cannot say.”

(Extract from Work in Progress)

Terri Says:

February 6th, 2008, 2:38 am

Thanks for a great article. It’s taken me many years to live in the present. When my kids were little, it was very hard to do but I’ve learned over the years they grow up so fast and if you don’t slow down and just be still you will miss alot, which I did because I was always in a hurry and worrying about the future. But the great thing is that I’ve learned to live in the moment and I enjoy my grown up kids and grand kids so much, it is the most awesome feeling in the world.

Chris Says:

February 6th, 2008, 3:02 am

It’s amazing how challenging it can be sometimes to actually be present 100% in the flow, especially if the task at hand isn’t a particularly enjoyable one. Sometimes I find myself so focused on the next thing that I’m actually giving very little attention to the task at hand, I mean practically NONE.

My personal journey into the realization of presence started 7 years ago with the book “The Power of Now”

It’s been a real strange journey ever since.

Thanks for creating such a presence provoking blog.

Teresa Says:

February 6th, 2008, 3:14 am

Philip Zimbardo, a psychology professor at Stanford University has studied time perspective (whether you live in the past, present or future). There is a ton of academic work on this topic, if you are interested search for “zimbardo time perspective” and you will find a ton of papers that correlate specific time perspectives to success in careers, overall health, different generations, etc. It’s pretty fascinating stuff.

Charlie Says:

February 6th, 2008, 3:17 am

Interesting post Leo. I particularly enjoyed the section dealing with the concept of ‘Flow’.

The tips at the end were great too, especially the first one. It’s something I rarely do, but this post has prompted me to take it on board.

Heimdall Says:

February 6th, 2008, 4:11 am

Great post, Leo - thank you! :-)

I’ve read Shunryu Sukuki’s “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” and enjoyed it very much, just as “Not always so” by the same author.

You were asking for further recommendations - here are two of mine:

“The Mindful Way Through Depression” - a gentle and practical introduction to mindfulness and meditation, written by a team of psychologists;

“Mindfulness in Plain English” - focusing on vipassana meditation practice.

I hope they turn out to be useful to some of you!

sunny Says:

February 6th, 2008, 4:37 am

I agree with you about not agonizing over the past or worrying (more than a few seconds) about the future.

I used to be pretty shy and hesitant, and if I’d done or said something embarrassing, I’d relive the moment, over and over…..and would sometimes remember it at 2 AM, blush and throw my covers over my head to hide from it all. Then it occurred to me, yes, I had an embarrassing moment, but the cashier who saw me trip and knock over a pile of boxes in the store is not staying awake at 2 AM, thinking about that customer who tripped and fell at the store that day. It made me smile and also eased the embarrassment. Was a turning point for me.

I also used to experience a lot of anxiety about the future. Always had something I was worried about and was at a loss if I wasn’t worried. Then I read somewhere about how the body reacts to anxiety as if an emergency really was occurring - and produces adrenaline - but since there is no emergency, the adrenaline isn’t needed but its effects on the body are not good.

I began to realize that worrying about everything that could happen doesn’t help me….and that I need to wait until a real emergency occurs and then trust that I’m strong enough to make the right decision at the right time.

(This has helped me in my family as well. For instance, my mom lives in a retirement community and has had my brother and his wife and young children staying there for a month during a transition in their lives. My mom is quite worried about what the neighbors will think, and she’s experiencing a lot of stress about it. I asked her if there is a real emergency … “Have the neighbors knocked on your door, asking what the situation is with your family and why people under the age of 55 are living in this community?” She realized that there was no critical situation at the moment (thus no need to worry) and that she’d be able to handle it gracefully if a confrontation did occur. Plus… people will always think something. Life is too short to worry about what people may or may not be thinking.

Leo, I really appreciate this posting and the reminders to live in the moment. Not just reminders, but actual steps I can take. Thank you!

yudika - sweet.vanjava Says:

February 6th, 2008, 4:57 am

so inspiring, i loved this posting !

Starbuck Says:

February 6th, 2008, 5:17 am

This is the basic message of zen-buddhism as already told many times before. I learned it from zenmaster Steve Hagen by reading his books ‘Buddhism plain and simple’ and ‘Buddhism is not what you think’. Also Eckart Tolle has written a whole book on the subject: ‘The Power of Now’.

Nevertheless, I really appreciate your site and have been visiting daily since a week! :-) Keep up the good work.

Perfect Life Project Says:

February 6th, 2008, 7:05 am

Leo

This could well be your best post. I think it captures the essence of your whole approach to life. I love it. I feel that adopting such an approach can be a path to a happier, more satisfying life.

Well done.

Healthy Living Says:

February 6th, 2008, 8:58 am

“If we can’t change something why worry about it. If we can change something why waste time worrying about it.”

Great topic, some say the best meditation is while your in action. Sitting is a great way to practice, and I need all the sitting I can get. But it’s really put to the test while we are interacting.

Milt Diggins Says:

February 6th, 2008, 9:20 am

Learn from the past, live in the present, plan for the future.

Double Danger Says:

February 6th, 2008, 9:52 am

Definitely guilty of thinking ahead, behind and everything else - besides the present.

Will work this in as quickly as I can.

Heimdall Says:

February 6th, 2008, 10:03 am

Great post, Leo - thank you! :-)

I too have read Shunryu Suzuki’s “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind”, and his book “Not always so”, and found them highly valuable.

As you were asking for further recommendations, here are two of mine:

“The Mindful Way Through Depression” - a very gentle and practical introduction to mindfulness and meditation, written by a team of psychologists;

“Mindfulness in Plain English” - explaining mindfulness in greater detail, with a focus on vipassana meditation.

I hope they turn out to be valuable for you as well. :-)

Frosty Says:

February 6th, 2008, 10:15 am

This is a really great post man.I believe i always lived in the past or kept worrying about the future,now is the time for a change.
By the way,the flow concept is pretty nice,i have been doing something similar :P

Stanley Stephen Says:

February 6th, 2008, 10:33 am

I loved this post. It was extremely thorough and helpful. The progression really did the trick. I’m going to print it out and post it on my wall or door.

Mandiann Says:

February 6th, 2008, 10:40 am

I really needed this today. Thank you for reminding me to stay present!! Sometimes it is so easy to forget and get overwhelmed by your life situation.

Thank you Leo!

Marc Says:

February 6th, 2008, 10:47 am

Another great post, Leo! Very good info laid out in a very easy to read manner.

Being more present is one change in my life I am striving to make. Some of the ways you mention to achieve this I am trying to do. As you and some comments mention it is very difficult! I plan to purchase Tolle’s book the Power of Now, as friends have told me they found the book to be very helpful.

I’ve had health problems which I think I can attribute to worrying about the past and the future incessantly, so hence my main reason for trying to live in the present. :)

Jason R Says:

February 6th, 2008, 12:32 pm

“Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.” - G. Santayana
I think that quote seems like it carries a lot more weight than it actually does. I agree with trying to live in the present, but I also agree with remembering the past. I just don’t like the whole idea of living with all of the “doom” that might come along with it.
I relate a lot to sunny’s comments. I know I’ve replayed embarrassing events of the day in my head as I’m trying to fall asleep at night. They do nothing except contribute to restless sleep and anxiety. That would be a perfect time to concentrate on the present. Just thinking about my breathing and how comfortable my bed is, would definitely help to fall asleep faster and I’d probably feel more rested in the morning.
Thanks for this post and your previous ones too. They really help to bring perspective to problems that shouldn’t loom as large as they do.

Vize Says:

February 6th, 2008, 12:50 pm

@sunny

Nice comment.

“The power of now” audio book is a great listen too, in the voice of Eckhart Tolle.

It is very easy to forget the present moment and get stuck in the delusional past or the future. I have not found a foolproof way to come back to the present moment though. But the way I approach it is to completely let go and relax in the present moment. Deep relaxation leads to increased focus and more enjoyment in the task at hand. I have found the opposite to be true too; intense focus brings deep relaxation.

Megan Says:

February 6th, 2008, 12:51 pm

Great post, Leo! Thanks for the tips you gave.

Another tip I’ve been doing lately, which has helped keep me in the present moment, is to do things - and focus on them - as if it’s my FIRST TIME EVER doing them. For instance, during meditation when I’m watching my breath, every breath in I think, “This is the first time I’ve ever taken a breath in.” I find that it completely shifts my consciousness. Same with breathing out. There’s something special about shifting the mind to “this is a first - pay attention!”

Metta!
Megan

CostaRicaSite.net Says:

February 6th, 2008, 13:14 pm

Thank you Leo. You have no idea how this post has helped me right now. My hair is falling out, my stomach is upset all the time and these are the top ones of a long list of symptoms that I didn’t have before. I come to the conclusion that I feel very guilty for things that I did in the past and very nervous of the future (what is going to happen? Am I going to make mistakes?) This post has been like a light bulb above my head really. Now I know how to live happier and it seems so simple. A lot simpler that taking pills for every symptom and paying doctors.

paprikapink Says:

February 6th, 2008, 13:43 pm

Hi Leo,

Funny you that I read this today. I recently found your site and using the Monthly Habits forum, I’ve begun meditating regularly again.

While I know, intellectually, that tripping (mentally) on things that happened long ago and don’t really matter isn’t doing me any good, sometimes my mind gets STUCK on a memory — usually something I’m bummed about — and all the feelings from it come back and replay over and over. I tell myself to stop it, but I’m stuck. Last night this happened and I tried a trick I got from the book that’s helped me most with my meditation. It’s called “Tibetan Wisdom for Western Life” by Joseph Arpaia and Lobsang Rapgat (I think it’s out of print now, sadly.) In addition to some of their other meditation practices, they recommend taking 20 or 30 seconds a few times a day and using two words that are helpful and meaningful to you — like “Calm, Focused” or “Strong, Steady” — say one word to yourself as you breathe in and the other as you breathe out. I used “Brave, True” from a verse that my kids say at school. It worked!. Lying in bed twitting out over some dumb thing I did 10 years ago is incompatible with my image of what it is to be brave and true. Maybe that’s why it worked. Anyway, reading your post today reinforces for me what I already know; I’m glad I’ve found this site. It’s even helping me to use tools I already have.

Andy Says:

February 6th, 2008, 14:04 pm

Great post, I will definitely give it a try because I tend to live way too much in the future.

A small suggestion: I have some temporary problems with my eyesight and would appreciate a darker text color for more contrast - it was rather taxing for me to read the post.

Amanda Says:

February 6th, 2008, 14:07 pm

Hi Leo,

I’ve been reading for a few months now, but have yet to post. First let me say that I love your blog! It’s really helping my personal development.

John Cabot Zinn has a few books and audio CDs on mindfulness that are quite good. Both “Full Catastrophe Living” and “Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life” are two of his books that I have particularly enjoyed.

Amanda Says:

February 6th, 2008, 14:08 pm

follow up to my last post…it’s Kabat Zinn. I always get the spelling wrong!

Cheers!

brandy Says:

February 6th, 2008, 15:35 pm

@Andy: What browser do you use? If you have Firefox, you have the ability to turn off stylesheets, which will make nearly any webpage revert to default colors (usually black text, white background). Go to View > Page Style and choose No Style. Ta-da!

Robbin Says:

February 6th, 2008, 15:52 pm

For me, one of the biggest drawbacks to not living in the moment is that I then don’t remember “the moment” - for example if I fly through my morning on autopilot, thinking about all I have to get done at work…then I’m driving to work and I think, did I blow out that candle? did I unplug the iron? did I feed the cats??? ack, I forgot to bring my lunch!! Then when I worry about that all the way to work, I find that I don’t remember the drive. And on through the day. Nothing gets converted to long term memory because I didn’t focus on it long enough to retain anything!

I love that you give specific tips to help practice this. Thanks for another great post!!

Luke Says:

February 6th, 2008, 16:15 pm

Nice post.

Although, Leo, you often direct your blog post towards active, stressed out people. I for one (being a late-teenager) am a very lazy person and actually find it hard to get motivated and actually get stuff done.

I spend most of my time thinking about nothing and letting the day get wasted and pass me by. I always concentrate in the now… but not in a productive way.

Can you post more on the subject of getting motivated?

gayle Says:

February 6th, 2008, 16:45 pm

Great post, Leo. I’m right there with you, and I was proud of myself when I realized that I’m already doing several of your tips.

My mantra for 2008 = SLOW.

For anyone looking for a great source, read almost anything by Thich Naht Hahn. Particularly a book called “Peace Is Every Step”. Very easy to read.

John Says:

February 6th, 2008, 18:30 pm

Good post about the Power of Now … although I have some sympathy with whoever it was who said :

“I have a keen interest in the future because I intend to spend the rest of my life there”

8-)

Rose Garden Says:

February 6th, 2008, 19:49 pm

Leo,

I’ve been reading ZH for 6 months now, and this is my favorite …. very well written and great topic.

For those concerned about forgetting the past and future… I don’t forget the past, I learn from the past and apply that knowledge and view the world from that perspective in the present…I make plans for the future while living in the present, knowing full well that I cannot fully anticipate what the future may bring. So as I plan, I prepare myself mentally to be flexible and adjust to what the future actually brings into my present…

Years ago my psych prof described this as “riding the crest of the wave”…

David Says:

February 6th, 2008, 20:01 pm

Simplify, simplify, simplify - once you start doing that, everything else starts falling into place. Take a minute to breathe, it is too hectic out there!

Kc Says:

February 6th, 2008, 20:12 pm

I love your blog….and I love this article! I have found that being present is one of the most critical pieces to living a happy and healthy life. I’m one of those people who tend to be overly ambitious, very critical of myself, very driven to “accomplish everything”. I would beat myself up about past mistakes and worry to the point of being sick about future events. Simply “being present” and doing now what can be done and leaving the past and the future events which nothing can be done about all to themselves has made a tremendous difference in my life. Keep up the great blogging! And thank you!

ninefish Says:

February 6th, 2008, 20:40 pm

Thanks Leo, a great aggregation of the ideas.
People have already mentioned Eckhart Tolle, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Martin Seligman has also written some great work on the relationship between happiness and flow.

Being present is a really essential habit to have, especially at times of stress.

thanks for the reminder to be here and now.

Adrian

swhale Says:

February 6th, 2008, 21:07 pm

This is a huge problem for me, so I appreciate the focus in the post. I was so disconnected from the present in a meeting yesterday I practically blacked out, by falling so deep into my imagination, I couldn’t hear or see what the presenter was doing. That’s extreme, but my mind is constantly multi-tasking, more or less against my will. I posted in the forums a week or so ago about how focusing on shaving in the bathroom was a way of introducing a good “be present” habit for me. But the habit slips away quickly.
A lot of this is related to some anxiety — my fear is that if don’t dedicate half my concentration now to prep for some future event, I’ll be unprepared then,so I might be wasting time *now* if I don’t split my focus.
A terrible habit related to this is habitual speed reading — I race my eyes across a line or a paragraph and scoop up the basic point from some key nouns and verbs. Mentally, everything is a jumble: the words are mixed, the meaning is diluted, processes of comprehending and visually dredging the next paragraph for key words are tripping over each other. But usually, it works well enough to help race through the day.
But focusing on each word, one by one, as they roll across the page at the author’s intended pace, just feels so much better. That way I feel that the author is really talking to me in his/her voice. When speed-reading it is more like I’m assaulting the text; mugging it and shaking it down as quickly as possible for whatever loose change I can rattle out of it.

Andre Hess|Empowered Soul Says:

February 6th, 2008, 21:44 pm

It’s a little amusing that, in an article about not getting overworked or overwhelmed and staying present, you list a total of nine things “to do.” How about just one? Because as you read through a list of nine, it’s pretty hard to focus on the present. The mind is too busy asking “when am I going to fit all that in?” Overwhelming, really …

I know these lists are popular. I just don’t think they really work.

Blessings,
Andrea

KCCC Says:

February 6th, 2008, 22:12 pm

Nice reminders - thank you. (I always enjoy your blog.)

I’ve found that identifying my “prime time” for working and “single-tasking” on big jobs then adds dramatically to my sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. When I can’t focus on those tasks, I worry about them and feel anxious. Now, I do a quick email check before I go to work, then don’t turn on my email when I get there until after I finish my “single-task” block. It’s only 2-3 hours - anything that comes in during that time can wait that long!

In addition to the excellent resources mentioned, I’d add “Zencasts” from iTunes. Here’s an ironic note - I sometimes listen to them while doing mundane tasks like cleaning the kitchen (which means I am NOT in the present, yes, yes, I know)… it’s totally ironic, but somehow still centering in that it turns a disliked task into a time for calm and re-focusing.

MysterE Says:

February 6th, 2008, 23:00 pm

Everyone be sure to read “Be Here Now” by Ram Dass. This little treasure of a book first introduced me to “living in the moment” and helped me to accomplish some true focus.

POE.

humble Says:

February 6th, 2008, 23:11 pm

Eckhart Tolle gets to the heart of this in “The Power of Now”. I put together this audio introduction to his work which you may enjoy.

http://diydharma.org/radiokosmos1-eckhart-tolle-bill-laswell-inoue-aloof-proof-binaural-beats-obinine

metta,

humble

sassafrass Says:

February 6th, 2008, 23:53 pm

Josh Says:
February 5th, 2008, 22:59 pm
Very cool post. Can you recommend any books on the subject Leo? I remember getting a book from a shrink … refused to read anything wishy-washy.
Thanks,
Josh

Try reading ‘the power of now’ by Eckhart Tolle. It is a little wishy-washy, and I have the same antipathy to you for new age pseudo-science. But at the heart of it there is a great practical tricks to use to live in the present. That said, the book didn’t immediately and dramatically change my life. But it has helped, and I haven’t committed myself to practising as much as I could have.

Steven Says:

February 7th, 2008, 0:12 am

Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Miracle of Mindfulness is my favorite. I read it once a year since I discovered it in 1975.

Phil Says:

February 7th, 2008, 2:42 am

I’ve tried to be mindful of the present many times in the past and failed.

Then I recently started listening to lectures by Alan Watts, in particular what he says about the ‘quaking mess’. One aspect of the quaking mess is our desire to try to change or transform ourselves to something better. When we do this we are ultimately doomed to failure, because according to Alan Watts it doesn’t work.

So this little bit of wisdom from Mr. Watts has personally helped me. I find that when I don’t approach being in the present from the point of view of improving myself or transforming myself into something I’m not, it’s easier to focus on the present because I’m not worried about failure or meeting some sort of inner expectation.

Cedric Says:

February 7th, 2008, 5:53 am

Good post but technically you can’t think about the present. The present is… well… symbolic, it doesn’t exist. Just as the equator separates the northern hemisphere from the southern hemisphere, the present symbolically separates the past from the future. By the time you conceptualise something you perceive it’s already the past, a memory. And before people start talking about “the Now” etc that’s a nice concept too but you can’t think about Now. In fact the only way to be in the Now is to not think. In those rare moments where you don’t think, your mind is at rest and yet you are still aware of your surroundings, that is, aware without labelling, without judging (in other words without thinking) then you are in the Now. Now that, is Zen… or not.
Just thought I’d throw that in :)

JP Says:

February 7th, 2008, 9:54 am

Great post I really enjoy your site. This is a very similar principal to what Dan Millman teaches. He has several interesting books on the subject and one of them is now also a movie called “Peaceful Warrior”.

fred Says:

February 7th, 2008, 12:42 pm

let’s see, to be in the Now, focus for one month in the future…. hmmm….

Margi Says:

February 7th, 2008, 12:42 pm

I haven’t read through all the comments, so someone may have said this already. My apologies …

It seems that most of the things mentioned in this article, and in Leo’s posts in general are pretty common sense. But somehow, I always forget. It reminds me of being in my Intro to Sociology class years ago where my professor said something like “Sociology is confirming everything you already know, with a magnifying glass.”

When I stop and take a step back, I learn again the value of the “obvious.” Because I miss it all the time.

Thanks, Leo!

Laura Says:

February 7th, 2008, 16:25 pm

I am so glad I stumbled upon this post. I have been overwhelmed with stress over a potential job, and I really needed this to help me try to stay in the present and to stop obsessing over something out of my control.

Jerome Says:

February 7th, 2008, 22:16 pm

I like your tips about being on present. But what I like most is no. 1 and no. 8. Being an easy going person and accept “failure” as something to be learned. Persistance is the key. Those are very optimistic principes.

dani Says:

February 7th, 2008, 22:27 pm

I noticed when I read the list in this post that, like a lot of resources about getting grounded/present, it omits the one that I’ve recently discovered helps me the most: just feeling my emotions. I think that the bevy of comments about how you can’t think about the present and as soon as you are in the present it becomes the past highlight this - it’s not about thinking, or about trying to pin down one moment like a butterfly only to find it slipping away.

That very focus that so many of us have on what we are THINKING is what keeps us out of the present, and it’s funny to see how hard we’ll argue against the possibility of being present. In my experience, “being here now” means really feeling what I am feeling, all the emotions and sensations that I usually bury under my thoughts.

I don’t have to pin down “the present moment” because, like meditation, it becomes timeless. I get to experience myself, now, and my experience changes as “now” changes, and all thoughts of what I used to experience or might experience later or could be experiencing fall away as my attention focuses on how it feels to be me. How I feel.

One commenter wrote,”The only thing being present really seems to do is limit yourself so that the chance of negative thoughts lessens, but it also limits your chance for grandeur as well.”

This cracked me up because it’s so at odds with my own experience. I don’t understand how it could ever limit my chance of grandeur. My idea of grandeur is having a really intense, awesome life, where I can make the choices that get me what I really love and enjoy, and grow in a way that gets me all the fulfillment and fame that I think I deserve ;) I used to think that I had to control that with my thoughts, but the more work I do on myself, the clearer it becomes that controlling things with my thoughts does not work. I can use my thoughts to notice what I am doing and gain greater understanding of what works for me and what to do next, but only with a strong connection to my gut-level feelings. Being present is what gives me clarity, and being present and clear and connected (which are basically all the same thing) is what drives me to something vast and grand and awesome.

dani Says:

February 7th, 2008, 22:44 pm

I would add that from a psychological perspective, not being present is very common and is dissociation. So many of us come from families that are dysfunctional in some way, and we quickly learn to dissociate/check out to escape the painful situations that result - yelling, criticism, abandonment, sexual assault, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…. I’ve shouted this out before but I’m going to do it one more time - in my experience, 12-step programs are a very powerful place that people go to learn to be present.

That’s not what gets them in the door; what gets them in the door is usually the awareness that whatever they’re using to check out (like alcohol, or control issues, or food, or exercising, or painkillers) is not working for them anymore. But that’s why they say things like “alcoholism is just the symptom, not the problem.” And that’s why any 12-step program uses the same steps, no matter what substance or behavior they’re dealing with on the surface. So much of it is about reconnecting with all those buried feelings from the past and present and learning how to process them until we can feel safe being present.

All of which is to say that for those looking for more literature on becoming present might consider checking out any of the “big books” from any 12-step program; there’s so much in there! Googling, I dunno, “anonymous” or “12 step” and “literature” will turn things up, and the AA big book can even be read online. (plus, parts of it are hilariously old!)

carla Says:

February 14th, 2008, 13:04 pm

this really resonated with me.

Im not a new blogger but am new at the trackback stuff (?) so feel free to enlighten me….that said, Im linking to this post tomorrow in my link love friday.

Carla

Bill Matiskellla Says:

March 3rd, 2008, 21:32 pm

Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery!

Ananda Says:

March 4th, 2008, 15:31 pm

Great post - I actually made it a point to be here and now and focus on just reading your post. I forced myself to not look at my multiple tabs, google notebook, etc. When my my mind tried to apply your concept to my life and wandered off.. I simply stopped and refocused. I did feel a calm wash over me that I haven’t felt in quite a number of years. Thanks Leo. I have no idea why I seem to have forgotten the obvious.

David Says:

March 15th, 2008, 14:16 pm

A great book along these lines is “Meditation” by Eknath Easwaran (Hope I spelled it right…). He came to the US as an English professor and was immediately struck by how busy and scattered peoples lives were. He likened an untrained mind to “a car without a driver” and then devoted his life to teaching and writing about how to train the mind (learn to focus) to the benefit of improving ones life and ultimately the world in general. Profoundly affected my journey… David

Jason Simon Says:

April 4th, 2008, 20:42 pm

It seems that more and more young people are having to work multiple jobs to maintain. I have two jobs, and it is easy to get overworked and overwhelmed. I work for a new organization called qvisory that is trying to help young adults better deal with their money, work, and health issues.