6 Questions to Ask Yourself to Get the Most Out of Life

"Motivate Thyself" Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:12 pm

I agree with everyone of these and promote each one, but the first two hit to the core of my being, every day. 4 years ago my dad past away from skin cancer. He was only 55 and we all thought he was fine up until 2 months before he died. I loved him very much, but had no idea how much until he died. The last couple of week before he died he talked a lot about the time he wasted doing things like watching TV and just ‘killing time’. He really encouraged me to make the most of my time and do those things that I am passionate about.
Ever since then I have been much more driven to pursue my goals and dreams and am living a life that is all the better because of it.

Thomas Herold Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:21 pm

Add this one:

“What would I do if I had only 3 month to live?”

or the money one:

“What would I do if I had 5 Million Dollar in my bank account right now?”

Cheers

Thomas Herold

Shanel Yang Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:29 pm

Another way to get right to what matters most to you is as yourself, ‘What would I do if I only had one year to live?” Make a list. You’d stop doing some things, I’m sure. You might start other things you’ve always wanted to do but have been putting off till “the right time.” What would be on your “bucket list” (for those of you who have seen the Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman movie)? I tried to guess what most people would say at http://shanelyang.com/2008/08/27/all-about-you-day-16-if-only-one-year-to-live/

Leo Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:32 pm

@Thomas and Shanel: We’re thinking along the same lines. My questions are basically what you’re suggesting — how to live as if you don’t have much time left — but I was trying to be most specific with the questions, focusing on specific ways you could get the most out of life — loved ones, your dreams, health, passion, helping others, etc.

Ryan McLean Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:48 pm

Am I pursuing my dream?
Yes
My dream is to be a writer/communicator and I am pursuing it by writing a financial blog and soon a christian blog. I want to be able to earn enough money writing full time so I can have time to write books and run seminars to help people.
I don’t want to let fear stop me. Thanks for the post

Katie Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:56 pm

Hey Leo,

I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but this is the first time I’ve commented. I enjoyed this post because it forced me to to really look at what I’m doing in my life right now. I tend to avoid thinking about these things until something blows up in my face. I think you’re spot on, especially with point #5.

Thank you very much.

Katie

Thomas Herold Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:57 pm

@Leo

I understand, however for most people it takes some radical ideas to shift their brain into a different mode. Sometimes it helps to bring a question to an extreme to make a point.

Vered - MomGrind Says:

September 1st, 2008, 21:04 pm

These are great questions, and the additions in the comments are important too.

“Am I as good a person as I want to be?” is something that I ask myself daily too, but unlike you, I think I tend to spend too much time regretting. You’re right: it’s better to look forward to bettering myself next time instead of regretting past behavior.

I would also like to add that my own goal is not necessarily to be a “good” person, but to be a “better” person. It’s a subtle difference, but it takes a lot of the pressure off and still inspires you to better yourself.

Laurie Says:

September 1st, 2008, 21:13 pm

Great questions. One thing that has helped me is to ask myself how I want to spend my time. I then made a list of the 10 ways I want to spend my time. I can focus on the day or the week or even more broadly than that. But the idea is to think about the ways you spend your time and if they support what you say you are really wanting. If not, don’t waste your time on what doesn’t support your list. It also makes it easier to say no to others who want to invade your time with things that you don’t want to do but feel obligated. Just say you didn’t allow time in your schedule for what they want!

The Success Professor Says:

September 1st, 2008, 21:24 pm

Leo,
Great questions. This was a very useful reflection time for me. I’m very happy with my answers to all of the questions except perhaps for #5, “Am I as good a person as I want to be?”

I reflected on that for a few minutes, and think that my dissatisfaction is on this question is often because of my perfectionist nature. As such, for me, I would change the question to, “Am I growing as a person and making significant progress towards my life goals?”

If the answer to that question is positive, then I’m on my way to being as good a person as I want to be!

Thanks so much.

Beth Says:

September 1st, 2008, 22:08 pm

The question that resonated most for me is “Who do I love?” My father is nearly 82 and lives in another city, and I can see him getting more forgetful, etc. Part of me wants to move there temporarily to be with him.

Also, I liked the quote by Emerson. At some point, like Ryan and his dream of writing, you just have to do it.

Shamelle - TheEnhanceLife Says:

September 1st, 2008, 22:31 pm

In this day and age not many people like to “sit and think”. Possibly because facing the answers to these questions can sometimes scare someone. They let life pass by and years later regret it.

Timely post Leo. Thanks

Chris Says:

September 1st, 2008, 22:46 pm

If you have children, ask yourself this, “Am I a good example for my children in living life to the fullest? And have I shown them that being kind and considerate is an admirable quality?

You can be all you want to be but if you’re not passing on the good and noble life that you are living, then all is for naught.

Brendan Says:

September 1st, 2008, 23:20 pm

This is an excellent blog post and an excellent blog, for that matter. I read Zen Habits regularly and am always impressed with the high quality of the writing and advice here.

I have a small, relatively new blog and wrote a small bit about this post. Please check it out and I invite your comments. Thanks!

Daniel Richard Says:

September 1st, 2008, 23:35 pm

It’s always greater to live life for others by being our best towards those who we happen to come upon. You too I’m sure about that. :)

Susan Says:

September 1st, 2008, 23:38 pm

@ Thomas Herold

This is going to sound pedantic, but what I would do if I thought I only had 3 months to live is not really compatible with what I am doing with an eye to a considerably longer future. As an example, I live fairly frugally and make extra payments on my mortgage so that I can be mortgage-free when I retire. If I only had to plan for 3 months, I’d sell my unit, quit my job (which I love btw) pack up my kids and … actually I don’t know what my preferred lifestyle would be, but do you see what I mean? For me, living as if I only had 3 months left just seems madly irresponsible and short sighted. Or maybe I just don’t get it?

Francis, Infopirate Says:

September 1st, 2008, 23:46 pm

wow, my first comment here… Great article. I would like to recommend: Read this list, answer the questions and write down your targets and answers. This will help you a lot to succeed.

Ari Herzog Says:

September 1st, 2008, 23:50 pm

Great suggestions!

If you accept death as a natural end of life, then you can accomplish anything you want without fear.

But if you live each day in fear of dying, you’ll never do what you makes you happy or feel alive.

Something to think about.

Jason Mitchener Says:

September 1st, 2008, 23:52 pm

Leo, thanks for this post. I just started a personal development blog called Forward Habit and I’m considering writing a weekly post on giving, sort of a “Giving Opportunity of the Week.” I was hesitating because some people might question what these posts had to do with personal development. Your fourth point just clarified it for me.

Lead2Gold Says:

September 1st, 2008, 23:56 pm

Leo,
This blog is excellent. I want to thank you for following your passions and also for your wisdom.

These questions are fairly simple yet profound. I also think to myself “am I as good of a person as I want to be” think its a good question. Sometimes we lose touch of wat we really want are character to be and act in ways that dont support those ideals.

I think a good question to ask along with #5 is “how do I want to be remembered” I think if we ask this question it will help us develop into an amazing addition and contribution to this wonderful world.

Click A Life Coach Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 1:28 am

Thank you stumbleupon, that I found this post.

No1 resonates most with me. If someone has gone only than people realise how much they loved the person and that it is important to spend quality time with them.

In our business we come across many people that spend their time with family and their partner argueing. What a waste of time. It is very normal that people have different opinions, this sets us humans apart from animals. Accept the others point of view and enjoy the time you can spend together.

Glen Allsopp Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 2:56 am

Great list Leo, if you were to add one more I think it should be

“Do you appreciate being alive“.

There are so many people who would give anything to be in the positions that we are and countless who have given their lives to be in that circumstance.

BTW, I thanked you in a post due to go live in 10 mins, I hope you get the trackback as I think you’ll find it interesting :)

DanGTD Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 3:11 am

Nice.
You must identify and become conscious of the activities and time investments you are making through your days, and then focus on what is important.
And the most important ar the “high lifetime value activities”, like relationships, learning, health, development etc.

Julius Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 3:11 am

Hi Leo,
I’m following your blog since about 12 months ago. I read a lot of old posts and I found a lot of them very inspiring. Of course, I sometimes have a somewhat different angle of the same view on some topics, but you have some great thoughts and reading Zen Habits is one of the best time investments I’ve ever made (along with GTD, The 7 Habits, First Things First, Principle Centered Leadership, Good to Great, How to be Brilliant and some other great books, that lead me to you blog in the first place).
The reason I write this comment today is that this post is one of the best I’ve ever read. In a sense, I already had those questions somewhere since I read Covey and others, but not in that clear words. Thank you for that.
Best,
Julius

Julius Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 3:13 am

Oh, and I’m sorry for the grammar and some typo’s… I’m from Germany and I’m still improving my english, you know. :-)

Mahmudur Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 4:09 am

thanks a lot for the post.

every single moment is so valuable in our life. to enjoy each moment of life we need to keep in mind this 10 magical words:
“If it is to be, it is up to me”

http://dewdropofjupiter.blogspot.com/2008/09/if-it-is-to-be-it-is-up-to-me.html

Julie Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 4:36 am

I love your posts and this one is great and timely for me personally, we really do need to remind ourselves of what is important, although nice to contemplate here on this blog, so difficult to do as we get caught up in ‘living life’, which does not mean ‘living life well’

I also really like Glens comment: ‘Do we appreciate life’ If we spent more time contemplating the absolute privilege of living a life on this amazing planet and what a short trip it is, we would all live life well or at least a little better…

Stephen Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 6:08 am

This is a very good, thought provoking post which I enjoyed a lot. I particularly like points 2 - 4 as they describe why I started my blog very recently.

In life we are often too soon old too late smart.

John Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 6:30 am

“What would I do if I only had one month, one day, one years to live?”….
Dreams to pursue, struggles, concern, life, job, health…
live life as it come, ’cause in the end.
Pessimist perspective but real.

Myrko Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 8:57 am

These are very good questions. I like to add another perspective, for instance to the question “3. Am I doing something that matters?”. I like this question, it is reflective. An interesting follow up would be “4. Am I doing what I do fully present?”

This is like bringen Inner and Outer Purpose together.

Steve Button Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 9:50 am

It’s not ironic, it’s paradoxic.

Kind of ironically, you get the most out of life not just by taking what you can for yourself, but by giving to others.

-should read-

Paradoxically, you get the most out of life not just by taking what you can for yourself, but by giving to others.

And the other word you are looking for now is pedantic.

And the other word you are looking for now is ….

tzu Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 10:33 am

Questions are the answer.
reminds me very much of this post- The Intelligence Question. the new IQ.
http://www.succcess.org/2008/08/25/the-new-iq-the-intelligence-question/

-Tzu
by the way re: #4.
“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself…
Serve and thou shall be served.”RWE

I have Zen Fever! Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 11:23 am

Leo, Great article. Visit the island Guam should be on the List. Visit other cities also. See loved ones.

Anni Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 11:38 am

Great post! I’ve been doing a lot of reflection lately and these questions have come up, although not verbatim. Thanks for your insight.

kate Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 12:02 pm

Right on with this post. I scroll through this list and similar lists in my head right before I go to bed.

Putting things into perspective is something people rarely do, and rarely do often enough.

I am young and a student and just now realizing how much I have to learn and how I can model my life after questions such as these.

I am thankful for technology that allows me to communicate with fine like-minded people like you Zen Habit-ers.

SpaceAgeSage Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 12:07 pm

I have heard these dramatic, life-altering questions from different sources, too, but found myself blocked by perfectionism. These types of question stirred my longing to be more, but I wasn’t quite able to move forward. Along with focusing on the questions, I had to focus on finally undoing the negatives of perfectionism and addressing my Internal Critic. By focusing on both the thought-provoking questions and some inner work, the pieces are finally coming together.

Fit Bottomed Girl Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 12:40 pm

While I do my best at my current job, I know a better one is out there — one where I can really use my skills to help others. So, I’m doing some hardcore searching to fulfill #3. Thanks for the great tips!

Joseph Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 13:07 pm

I wish this could apply to my wife.. she is losing a 10 year battle with Cancer.. and she is determined to ruin everyone’s else’s life in the process.. and it’s such a shame.. but she is angry, and hurtful, and only thinks that it’s all about her and her cancer, and not about living for her, or her family, or her children…

For her, it’s about dying, not living..

Ian Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 13:17 pm

I always thing of Steve Jobs’ commencement address from at Stanford in 2005…

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

janelle Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 13:24 pm

I think it was Ben Franklin who once said something along the lines of, “Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.” This is so true! In my last job, I asked myself all of the questions you listed above and I realized I wasn’t happy. I was stuck in a career that was not only unfulfilling, but was sucking up so much of my time and energy that I was losing out on valuable time with family members and friends. Today, I am a strong advocate of not procrastinating (more than ever). If you’re planning on calling someone, don’t wait until tomorrow because you never know what tomorrow might bring. I used to buy new outfits and then save them for the “perfect occasion”. Guess what happened? I ended up donating them to charity because they had either gone out of style, or they no longer fit. Something this simple can apply to the rest of your life. After all, why wait?

Machado Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 13:25 pm

In fact, our simple and short life is our great and precious gift. Just live must be sufficient. But we are not glad with it. We must create another significance. Yes, we have to create it, but one care must be taken : as much significance you create , as much you ‘ll be fear to lose them…..each one must find the amount of significance you ‘re able to create. If you are really ready to lose everything you have earn and been , probably you’ll be happy every moment in your life.

Tyler Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 13:27 pm

“Will this matter in 5 years”? Who cares? If we live in the present, then it only counts if it matters to us right now. You’re the best Leo.

Chen Linxi Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 13:32 pm

Hi!
A beautiful post indeed.
But I have different opinion on the point 3:”Am I doing what really matters?”
I reckon most jobs and works to be “matters” at all extents despite the fact that the guy doing may not think so.City Cleaners may not find values in the routine of cleanning the same old street day by day, yet it’s essential to any city.
Maybe conscientiousness in all sorts of work(as long as it’s legal and needed by others), matters to the person taking it or not, should be advocated.What do you think?

BTW The favicon of your blog is a symbol of taoism denoting Ying and Yang, somewhat not relevant to “Zen”. But maybe you use it to present other meannings.Just ignore me.

fjpoblam Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 14:13 pm

Right on the nose. I’ve been working on these for the past year, and feel a lot better already. Questions for me are, of time (getting real).

(1)What would I do, if I had only one day left? …and

(2) Think, how short is an hour? Sixty short minutes: count! How quickly does a year pass these days? You certainly don’t have sixty left.

Nicholai Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 15:53 pm

This is a deep article, that cuts to the nerve of a problematic lifestyle.

Michael Moniz Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 17:36 pm

Such a great list and powerful way to change your life. We forget sometimes to hold ourselves accountable for creating our own lives and happiness.

I like to check in each day to make sure I did at least one thing that made myself feel proud. It is nice to have those daily check ins to make sure you are on track.

rasberry Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 18:44 pm

your blog has been one of the best i have read. this article applies to all of us. i have a lot to work on myself when it comes to holding a grudge. i need to say no and stay firm when being pressured for my time that i do not want to give. thanks for this awesome post. you surely open my eyes. i enjoy reading your posts but i just don’t have time to read all of them sometimes because i do enjoy reading other blogs and doing other things too.

Lisa | Holistic-Treatment-for-Depression Says:

September 2nd, 2008, 21:28 pm

I had a grandmother who lived to be nearly 100 years and I think that it was her passion for life that enabled her to be happy until the very end. So, I would simply add, am I being creative every day? Writing is when I feel most creative and I’m happier when I do it everyday. My husband paints and he’s most creative and happy when he does it daily.

My grandmother lived an amazing life because she pursued what she loved — gardening, cooking, and creating art — right up until the week that she died. I hope to live that kind of life, if I’m lucky enough.

Mark Says:

September 3rd, 2008, 17:14 pm

I’m with the poster who questions the “short time to live” scenario. It may be a way to question one’s current endeavours, but certainly not the way to decide how to invest one’s time.

For me the basic question is simple: Is what I am doing interesting, important, or fun, and preferably all three? Sometimes, to get to the right combination of all three, I need to temporarily embark on a path that might be none of them for a short time (so the temporary question becomes, how can I create an environment that might be at least one or two of the three?). My current path, for instance, necessitated a five-year investment of time, energy and focus - certainly not one on which to embark if I had only one day, or three months, or twelve months, to live.

As I have been privileged to construct my life… well, the second part of my life, anyway… those three simple criteria allow me to enact the six questions of the original post, and live fully engaged, present and passionate.

Pierre Says:

September 4th, 2008, 2:20 am

Question: How would your answers change if you did not have to worry about certain death in 50 or 100 years? What if you were going to live to 1000 or longer?

Niklas Says:

September 4th, 2008, 4:43 am

Great questions, I started asking myself these questions a few years ago, and my life has become so much better since.

However, I sometimes fail to ask myself question #4 - What am I doing to help others?

I think the reason for this is that I am focusing way more on my own dreams, passions and desires - that I sometimes forget about people in my environment that aren’t closely related to achieving my dreams.

While I understand that doing acts of kindness can lead to a harmonic and positive lifestyle, does it help you achieve your goals?

I think it would be great for me to hear people’s experiences on this.

Dot Says:

September 4th, 2008, 10:11 am

I agree with Julius that this is probably the best post I’ve read here. The one that asks, “Am I the best person that I can be?” is one that was very important to me as a child, but over the years I’ve forgotten it.

About the 3 months to live issue, I once heard someone respond to that question by saying, “I’d start smoking again.” So it’s not necessarily a productive question. And look what happened to the Morgan Freeman character in The Bucket List. He ended up betraying all his values, but fortunately he recovered in time.

Eric Says:

September 5th, 2008, 5:34 am

It can be said that you should dream as if you have forever to live and live today as if it is your last.

Other questions to ask:

1) What would your family, friends and community say about you at your funeral? What would you want them to say? The difference between what you want and what they would say today can form the basis of action to improve your life.

2) What is your mission statement? Why are you here? What are you trying to accomplish?

3) What are your values and how well are you demonstrating them? In what ways do you act again your values?

When I wrote down what my kids would say about me at my funeral three years ago I realized that I could be a much better dad and husband. I set out to totally change my career (to give me time and energy to be with my family more), I took on the mission to teach and motivate others and took ownership over my life’s direction.

Happiness, fun, and cool achievements have been the result. And a big side benefit is I have a job that I love. I look forward to Monday morning and going to work.

Brian Says:

September 5th, 2008, 10:49 am

Wow - excellent post! So thoughtful and true and relates to everyone no matter which phase of life they’re currently in. These are ideas I’ve been thinking a lot about lately (possibly not even realizing it) and I think I’m fairly happy with my answers to each question. The one that matters the most to me is #1. Family and loved ones first. Everything else takes a back seat.

I’m a first time reader of this blog and I can already tell it will immediately be on my daily roundup.

AlmostGodess Says:

September 5th, 2008, 15:47 pm

I love this post. I agree with everything you said, Leo. For me loving and giving is the most important thing in life and I am glad to know more people feel the same. Thank you!

TJ Says:

September 6th, 2008, 9:01 am

Pursuing the dreams I have, keeps me far from the people I love.

Peter Urey Says:

September 6th, 2008, 12:27 pm

The emphasis in all the points and comments are about relationships with others.

English football coach Brian Clough said “Nobody listens to what you say but they all remember how you made them feel”

It’s a slightly different approach to relating to people.

Stephan Bendall Says:

September 8th, 2008, 17:49 pm

I think all kids should write a 100 things to do list. I wrote one in Grade 6 after my teacher read about a 100 year old man that had just finished his list by turning 100 (i.e. he had “turn 100 years young” on his list). I love my list now because a lot of the things on it are very fun and exciting and things I would never think of now. I have removed a couple that are no longer especially relevant or beyond achievable (like finding a cure for the common cold, yah I was ambitious), but the majority have stayed. I still look forward to meeting Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Kari Says:

September 12th, 2008, 11:47 am

I’m kind of late commenting here, but your quote at the beginning from Abraham Lincoln sounds like the original version of “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make”. Love it!

John Jantsch Says:

September 15th, 2008, 8:44 am

Great list, but one question that I find needs to preface them all - What am I willing to give up in order to have the things I might mention answering the other six. Without that mindset, little else happens. By give up I don’t mean the BMW, I mean, fear, being right, little stuff that holds us back