Photo courtesy of scragz The Only Two Secrets to Motivating Yourself You’ll Ever Need
I’ve written about motivation a bunch of times before here on Zen Habits, but the more I learn about it, the more I realize that motivation isn’t that complicated.
Sure, there are numerous tips that can help, numerous tactics and strategies I’ve used with success. But it really all boils down to two things.
And those two things are so deceptively simple that you might decide to stop reading after I name them: 1) make things enjoyable and 2) use positive public pressure. But read on for more on how to use those two things to motivate yourself for any goal.
It’s Motivation, Not Discipline
First let’s back up a little bit. A number of readers have emailed me about sticking to their goals — anything from exercise and eating right to being organized and productive to creating new habits — and have said they simply lack the discipline to stick with things for very long.
But what is discipline, really? It’s mostly an illusion, in my experience.
When people say that someone has “discipline”, as I’ve written about before, they really mean he has the motivation to stick to something.
In a previous post I used the example of someone in the military, a typical case of somone who is said to have discipline. This military man might get up super early, fix his bed neatly, go on an early-morning run, do a bunch of other exercises, and generally do a disciplined job throughout the day.
But is that just because he’s disciplined? I think it’s mostly because he’s in a situation where there’s public pressure (both positive and negative) to do all of the things listed above. If he doesn’t do them, he might get yelled at or demerited or look bad in front of his peers. If he does do them, he’s an exemplary soldier.
There’s also the fact that after awhile, these things become pleasurable for him. He gets a sense of satisfaction out of staying in shape and keeping things neat. He enjoys the early morning. He feels good about being conscientious about his job.
So in the end, it’s not some vague quality (”discipline”) that allows him to stick to these habits, but rather the two secrets of motivation: positive public pressure and enjoyment.
What I Learned From My Experiences
Over the last few years, I’ve been experimenting with achieving various goals — from waking early to exercising to eliminating my debt and living frugally and simply and more. And what I’ve learned has repeatedly taught me that these two key motivation principles are all you need.
I’ve learned other things as well, but the more I stick to my goals, the more I realize that it’s these two themes that keep repeatedly surfacing. It’s almost eerie, actually. Just a few goals as illustration:
- Marathon. Right now I’m training for my third marathon, in Honolulu this December. As I’ve stuck with the toughest marathon plan I’ve ever undertaken (last week my longer runs were 12 and 20 miles, and this week I’m doing 2 runs of 14 miles), I’ve marveled at my ability to keep at it. But it’s not hard to figure out why: I’ve publicly committed to doing this marathon — on this blog, on Twitter, and on Train For Humanity, where I’m raising money for humanitarian causes through my training (sponsor me here!). In addition to that, I’m really enjoying all the running!
- Blogging. I’ve now been blogging for almost two years (I started in January 2007), making Zen Habits one of the longest-running projects I’ve ever stuck with. I’ve worked on many projects before, but they are usually completed within a year, if not within a few weeks or months. Anything longer is usually intimidating to me. But it hasn’t taken discipline to stick with blogging, not at all. It’s something I really enjoy, and there’s the added bonus of positive public pressure (that’s you, the readers) that has motivated me to stick with it.
- Writing a book. A couple months ago, I finished the manuscript for my book, The Power of Less, that’s coming out at the end of this year. I will admit that I had some trouble writing this book, with the demands of publishing a blog (two blogs actually), training for my second marathon in March, and preparing for my wedding in June. I wasn’t always following my own advice (although in my defense I learned to segregate the different goals so I only concentrated on one at a time). But I did get the book done with both forms of motivation — pressure from my publisher to turn in the manuscript, and the enjoyment I got from writing the book once I was able to clear away distractions and focus on the writing.
I could go into many more examples of how I used these two forms of motivation, but you get the idea. Now let’s take a look at each one and how you can use them to your advantage.
Positive Public Pressure
While pressure is often seen as a bad thing (”I’m under too much pressure!”), if used properly it can actually be a good thing. It’s important that pressure not be applied in too negative a way and too high an intensity. Keep things positive and at a manageable intensity, and things will move along nicely.
Some examples of how to use positive public pressure to motivate yourself:
- Tell all your co-workers you’re going to achieve a goal (”No sugary snacks this week!” or “I’m going to keep my email inbox completely empty”) and report to them regularly on your progress.
- Email your family and friends and tell them about your goal and ask them to keep you accountable. Email them regular updates, and tell them about your progress when you see them.
- Post your goal on your blog and post regular updates. It’s important that you not just post the goal but also stay accountable with the updates. Encourage people to ask you about your goal if you don’t report your progress.
- Join an online forum related to your goal — I’ve done this when I quit smoking and also when I started running. Introduce yourself, make friends, tell them about your goal, ask for help when you need it, and report your successes and failures.
- Write a regular column in a publication on your goal. I did this when I ran my first marathon, for my local newspaper. It created a lot of positive public pressure — everywhere I went, people would say, “Hey, you’re that marathon guy! How’s the running going?” Of course, not everyone can write a column for a newspaper, but you could do it for a group blog or a newsletter or some other type of publication.
- Post your goal and a chart of your progress up in your office or other public place.
- Post pictures of yourself each day. One guy did this and created a video of his progress — it was amazing to watch.
You get the idea. I’m sure you can come up with some ideas of your own.
Enjoy Your Goal Activity
You can motivate yourself to do something you don’t like to do, using positive public pressure as motivation. But if you really don’t enjoy it, you’ll only be able to keep it up for so long. And even if you could do it for months and years … is that something you’d want to do? If you don’t enjoy it, why do it for very long?
But, you might say, what if it’s something I really want to achieve but I don’t enjoy it? There are ways to find enjoyment in most things — the key is to focus on the enjoyable parts. Focus on the positive.
Here are some ways to use this motivational principle to your advantage:
- Having trouble motivating yourself to write for your blog? Look for topics that excite you. If you find things that you’re passionate about, writing becomes easy.
- Having trouble with a dissertation for graduate school? Maybe you’re not as passionate about the topic as you thought you were. Re-examine your dissertation topic and see if you can either re-energize yourself about it or find a new topic you can get excited about.
- Having a hard time exercising? Find exercise that’s fun for you. If you don’t like running, try soccer or basketball or rowing. If you don’t like to lift weights, try doing some primal workouts where you flip logs and jump through tires. Go hiking. Walk with friends and talk the whole time.
- Is eating healthy a challenge for you? Find healthy foods you love. Experiment with new recipes and have fun testing them out.
- Is training for a marathon tough? Learn to enjoy the quiet of the early morning, the contemplative nature of running, or the beautiful nature that surrounds you. Or play some songs that pump you up. Or listen to interesting audiobooks as you run.
Find the enjoyable parts of any activity, and focus on those. In time, you can really learn to love something. Or, switch to something you love more and stick to that.
These two principles, especially when used together, can be powerful motivators. In fact, in most cases, they’re all the motivation I ever need.
If you really want more motivational tips, I’ve got a lot more here.
Have you used these motivational principles to achieve a goal? Let us know in the comments!
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- Posted on 8 October 2008 in Motivation |
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Comments (92)
Corey - Simple Marriage Project Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:16 pm
I truly believe in community to assist in the accomplishing of goals. The community can be a spouse, family members, friends, co-workers, whoever. But sharing a goal with another person up the motivation most every time.
Speak up to reach your goals. You can impact others along the way to achieving what you desire.
Tony Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:22 pm
Yeah I definitely believe public pressure as you call it works. I lost 80 pounds last year and I posted the results with pictures and charts each week. Check out my blog I haven’t updated it in over a year but the content is still all there. heavyweight.typepad.com
Sid Savara Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:23 pm
Definitely agree with the positive public pressure especially.
In my research for the infamous Harvard written goal study for my blog, I came across an interesting research paper. They studied the effects of having a goal, writing down your goal, and having a social circle to support you (positive public pressure).
The conclusion practically writes itself - the group with positive pressure from others were the most effective in achieving their goals.
Ryan McLean Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:28 pm
So simple and so great. I have recemtly had a crisis happen in my family and my entrepreneur blog has suffered because I have not been motivated to do anything with it in the last two weeks…though it is still a growing blog.
These two steps I will begin to use to day to motivate myself to keep going. Thanks heaps
Vered - MomGrind Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:31 pm
It’s definitely easier to stick with something that you enjoy. It’s true for work, for projects, for self-improvement goals, and it’s true for relationships too.
Kelli Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:33 pm
This is so true! I love it. I was running the other day when I realized after telling myself for years, “You love to run. You are a runner. Look at your legs. You run!” that I was actually LOVING the run. I was always a swimmer and running hasn’t come easily.
Convincing myself otherwise worked and now I tell people I’m not just a swimmer. I run too.
I’m focusing on eating healthier, spending wisely and being more mindful. I regularly post specifics toward these larger goals on my blog and you are absolutely right — the public pressure keeps me on task.
Thanks for another great post. Love your site!
Rob Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:40 pm
You’re so right about positive public pressure. There is nothing better than the fear of public ridicule to motivate you to do something. A bet with a workmate or telling all of your peers you are doing something is a great way to force yourself to stick at it!
Eric Hamm Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:42 pm
“Having trouble motivating yourself to write for your blog? Look for topics that excite you. If you find things that you’re passionate about, writing becomes easy.”
This is one of those tips that is so simple and yet very easy to forget.
Tim Brownson Says:
October 8th, 2008, 18:59 pm
I have said a few times that imho will power doesn’t exist, it’s purely how motivated you are to complete a task.
Living in alignment with your values can be the biggest motivational factor going, yet few people even know what their values are.
If you don’t know your values, you don’t know yourself.
Albert Says:
October 8th, 2008, 19:12 pm
This article touches on ‘Goal Theory’, the idea that motivation is basically divided into two primary driving forces: performance and mastery.
Your example of someone in the military trying to avoid getting yelled at is an instance of an avoidance goal — the concept that this person is doing as he is told only to appease his superiors and avoid some sort of punishment.
The poopy thing about avoidance goals is that it is performance oriented, and failure to follow through on them leads to a sense of incompetence, one of the core determinants of behaviour. Note that another determinant is social belonging (few soldiers would want to be estranged by his peers).
It is therefore in your best interest to focus on mastering course material, or whatever it is you intend on conquering, so that should you fail, you will not be easily demotivated. You are having a go not for others, but yourself, after all.
Check it out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goal_Theory
Liora Hess Says:
October 8th, 2008, 19:13 pm
I have a lot of pressure of perfection (which isn’t a possibility!). I come up with ideas to write about, but then my inner blog critic tells me “Hey, you’ll lose some readers over that one!” I keep your tip to make every post useful at forefront so even if the critic yammers constantly (he does), hopefully somebody will get something out of the posts. Maybe one tip for motivation is to simply quit over-thinking everything? This is one that works for me with exercise. If I lie there and think about how much I don’t want to get dressed in workout clothes, don’t want to move my body, etc., it’s always much harder than when I just go on automatic mode. I enjoy writing, but I do over-think many days.
Small Green Corner Says:
October 8th, 2008, 19:16 pm
The only motivational article I will ever need to read!!
Very inspiring - my only addition would be adding number 3 - “a positive mental attitude” - but then again that’s my answer to everything.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Computer Guy Says:
October 8th, 2008, 19:18 pm
Great post! I created my own blog as a form of “public pressure” to get my own business started, and it’s worked wonders at helping me stay focused and on a forward path.
I would add “Keep it Simple” to the list. Nothing sucks motivation from me more than a goal that seems impossibly complex. If you figure out how to break it down into simpler actionable steps, it makes staying motivated much easier.
Maya Says:
October 8th, 2008, 19:19 pm
“Discipline” is a “push” but “motivation” is a “pull”. I think discipline comes naturally once we have created the right motivation for ourselves.
Seamus Anthony Says:
October 8th, 2008, 19:19 pm
I reckon this is a sweet post - I like simplicity and although I already use the “enjoy what you do” idea, the social pressure idea is one I usually avoid due to … well .. fear of failure I suppose. Maybe I should step up to the plate more often (experience has taught me to keep my goals and ambitions close to my chest).
Darren Alff - Bicycle Touring Pro Says:
October 8th, 2008, 19:41 pm
Because I run a website about bicycle touring, people approach me all the time and ask how I have the determination and drive to make my trips happen. I tell them that I 1) get the idea and then 2) tell people about my idea. Telling people makes me have to follow through. If you don’t tell people, it’s just too easy to quit.
Mike Foster Says:
October 8th, 2008, 20:02 pm
Lots of excellent info and tips from what appears to be a very busy human being. I can relate. I also write quite a bit and found that writing about what you love does motivate you to site before this keyboard. Writing every day, setting small goals (500 words or so), ties it all together.
peace,
mike
livelife365
Lisa Says:
October 8th, 2008, 20:04 pm
It’s very freeing to share a goal or even a half-formed idea with someone else. There’s a creative idea I’ve been toying with lately (it’s not ready for “public pressure” yet, heh) that I just shared in a very casual “I’m thinking about this” kind of way with a single friend. Just being able to share it as a serious possibility with someone else brought it light-years closer to my grasp.
Once again, it’s the power of people — but on a much smaller scale.
Michael Moniz Says:
October 8th, 2008, 20:06 pm
I agree that public pressure helps you a lot. When you tell others, they can support you, be a cheerleader for you, be a resource to help you achieve and hold you accountable for what you said you would do.
I committed to running my first 5K and backed out. I told all my friend Becky about my goal a lot time ago. She was the first to ask me about it the day after and when I said I didn’t achieve it, she said she was my new partner and we were a team who was going to do it together this year. Her support has made the difference and added to the motivation.
Anand Dhillon Says:
October 8th, 2008, 20:27 pm
Learning to enjoy what you’re doing is a very valuable skill. One thing that I have found very useful is linking something I already enjoy with something I want to be motivated to do. A example is listening to music I enjoy while exercising - especially if it has a fast beat that keeps me pumped up.
Positive public pressure is a great idea. My favorite method is giving daily updates (if it’s a daily habit) via email to 3 friends. If they do not receive an email by the time they wake up the next, they have full permission to let me have it.
Another way to use positive public pressure is to have an accountability partner. It’s someone who you share your goals and plan of execution with. The two of you can consistently encourage each other and make sure you are both on track. This method is very effective when the two of you have similar goals like losing weight, reading daily or paying off debt.
Great post Leo! I love your personal examples.
Awakeblogger Says:
October 8th, 2008, 21:00 pm
I find the notes about self-discipline being really motivation most interesting. What is self-discipline? For me it is the ability to get me do the necessary things even if I don’t feel like it. What is needed for that? A long term perspective or in other words a goal, that I am enthusiastic about or in other words being motivated. Self-discipline becomes easy then, because it is part of the plan and I do those things with a smile on my face, because Im looki g forward on their great effects.
A great effect of self-discipline is freedom. I love it because it give my more space in life and more opportunities, because I had the self-discipline to do the necessary right things. So my support is to self-discipline is a matter of motivation and that is a matter of the right goals from a long term-perspective. It’s that easy :)
Jonathan Mead Says:
October 8th, 2008, 21:45 pm
You’ve gotten me very curious about the video that guy made Leo. Anyone know who it was by?
Leo Says:
October 8th, 2008, 22:09 pm
Thanks for all the great comments! I’m glad you guys liked this article. Again, I’ve written about this topic before, but the more I experiment with this stuff the more I realize it all boils down to these two points.
And yes, a positive attitude helps with everything!
Thanks for all your additions to this article, guys. Great stuff.
Tabitha (From Single to Married) Says:
October 8th, 2008, 22:23 pm
Wow - how did you know I needed this? Seriously, I’ve been back-and-forth over this current issue I’m dealing with and feeling that I lack the will power to just fix it and be done. But maybe it’s a matter of motivation after all? Very inspiring - thank you!!
Leo Says:
October 8th, 2008, 22:28 pm
@Jonathan Mead: OK, I found the video … the guy’s name is Adam Waters, and the video is kinda freaky. The first 20 seconds are promotional stuff, but here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1RYK_lybxA
I’m gonna add it to the post now.
Kaitlin Says:
October 8th, 2008, 23:14 pm
I think you’re spot on.
Case in point: NaNoWriMo. (Write 50 000 words of a novel in the month of November.) The people who reach the goal are the people who interact with people on the forums, have told people they knew about what they’re doing, and (generally) enjoy writing.
Plus, even if you don’t end up achieving your goal, having a positive community behind you means you’re more likely to get SOMETHING out of it, right?
Mary@GoodlifeZen Says:
October 9th, 2008, 0:52 am
Lovely article!
Whilst I think that motivation wins out against discipline every time, my experience is that discipline does exist and is useful.
Your article made me think of the time when I was a professional flautist. To keep in form, I had to practice 4 hours a day. Some of the practice was pleasurable, but part of it was scales and difficult bits played over and over - not so much fun. Discipline kept my regular practice on track.
In view of this experience, I think that discipline helps us to ‘just do it’ when motivation wears thin. It helps us cross the desert stretches.
Katrineholm Uncensored Says:
October 9th, 2008, 3:05 am
To motivate oneself one needs to remember that death is inevitable. As Andy Dufresne says in Shawshank Redemption, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
schizo Says:
October 9th, 2008, 3:14 am
“motivated, talented but lacks discipline”
That was the sum of all the teachers comments on the report cards I ever took home.
I disagree Leo, I think both these are distinct entities, with overlap, i agree but distinct nevertheless.
Among other things, discipline is what keeps you going when you cannnot possibly enjoy what you are doing, and believe me, life doe take us such places.
ciao
schizo
sarah Says:
October 9th, 2008, 3:46 am
I love this post! Motivation is easy! If you love what you are doing it helps the best!!
Zen Guru Says:
October 9th, 2008, 3:59 am
Nice post !! When you speak about military discipline you mentioned it comes out of pressure.. but I have seen many people being disciplened even after their retirement from the army. Maybe, a habit followed for a long time becomes people’s character I suppose
For readers,
If you want me to be a Zen Guru, visit this blog
http://zen-guru.blogspot.com/
Alban Says:
October 9th, 2008, 4:18 am
I’ve been experiencing with positive public pressure to achieve my goals and it has always been very motivating.
I actually started a website where people can post publicly their goals o benefit from this positive public pressure. The website is in French so sorry for you English speaking guys ;)
I might release an English version next year or so.
J.D. Meier Says:
October 9th, 2008, 4:20 am
I think a lot of success is about reducing friction and creating a glide path for yourself. Whenever I take on something new, I simplify it immediately to make it more sustainable.
Leo Says:
October 9th, 2008, 6:37 am
@Zen Guru: The retired military man uses the same motivations (and yes, habit also plays a big part of it). Consider: by the time he retires, he’s gotten a reputation for waking early, exercise, neatness, discipline. And so he wants to uphold the reputation (positive public pressure). Also, he enjoys these habits after all these years.
@others who have talked about discipline: I still haven’t figured out what exactly discipline is. Even “motivation” is a vague principle until you get into specifics (as I have here in this post). What exactly is discipline? Forcing yourself to do something you don’t like? That’s an act, not a quality or anything in particular. Maybe I just don’t understand — I’d love it if someone enlightened me.
FrugalNYC Says:
October 9th, 2008, 8:10 am
This was great. Having simple ways of doing things makes it all that much easier. Your list of two makes it easy to remember and to implement. Great Post!
Liora Hess Says:
October 9th, 2008, 8:35 am
I’m a little torn on the public accountability. I almost think this comes down to your personality or the type of goal you’re wanting to achieve. For example, if I have a goal of losing 15 pounds, I’d rather keep that to myself and quietly be doing things toward the goal. It almost seems to give the goal strength to keep mum about what I’m doing. When people start saying, “Wow, what are you doing? You look great!” I feel even more empowered.
I feel the public accountability as a negative, energy-draining weight from the beginning, almost like people waiting for me to fail, whereas I’m extremely inspired by the element of mystery and people noticing what I’m doing. It feels positive and like I’ve conserved my energy.
Does anybody else funciton this way? I’m less successful when I make myself publicly accountable.
Alistair Says:
October 9th, 2008, 8:43 am
I can agree about making things enjoyable. And, having re-examined the link about motivation, find a lot of things there that I relate to. Public pressure though has never been very effective for me. Not as a primary force, anyway. I’m a quiet, introverty type a lot of the time. While other people’s opinions do affect me, and do modify my behaviours, when it comes to deciding on achieving a specific goal, I don’t tend to share that with the people around me as a way of bolstering my resolve. I know it works for some, not least because I’ve seen it. But, at the beginning of any achievement, the thought of declaring my goals publicly is too threatening.
So instead, I at least declare them to myself, clearly, by writing them down. This clarifies what I want, how I’m going to do it, the break down into baby steps etc. At this point, if what I write doesn’t ring true, I feel it as I write. That is important, I feel, because it tells you if your goal is something you genuinely want, and thus will commit to. So if it doesn’t feel true, that normally means I have to break down my ideas into smaller, simpler components to get to the specific things that really are important to me.
Sometimes I speak this aloud as well, rather than write - I used to go for walks and talk these things out with myself, and speaking aloud helped force clarity. And, you hear the truth or falseness in your own words. But writing is less likely to have people thinking you’re a bit crazy.
Then keeping a journal allows you to truly see your progress. Or lack thereof. And that allows you to ask yourself why some things worked, and others didn’t. In my experience it has typically led me to simplify my life. I just drop things, I remove things from my to do list. Often, I get back to the ‘one goal’ principle that has been mentioned frequently here.
And when I realise I’ve just been thinking to much, I do the ‘just start’ thing too.
But, I do think the pressure of opinion is important, but it doesn’t have to be ‘public’. It can be just your own inner voice, your own self’s opinion. After a difficult period in my life I promised myself that I would aim to be true to myself, starting with being honest about my fears, feelings, wants, goals, etc. Journalling, writing, is all good for that. And your own self opinion can be all you need.
But that isn’t always easy to get onside. Persistence, and not beating up on yourself, and small steps all help. And seeking the bits that are enjoyable, and the visualization of how good the achievements will be, give you something to move toward, to focus on, which is good.
I’ve written more than I was expecting. Thanks for the post Leo (and for your site in general), and the opportunity to comment. I really find the posts and their responses here to be quite useful and thought provoking.
becoming minimalist Says:
October 9th, 2008, 9:11 am
nice way to narrow it down. i consider my self the king of “unfinished projects” when it comes to improving myself. reading your list of two, it’s the first one that usually trips me up.
i have found our becoming minimalist blog to be very helpful over the past 4 months of trying to simpliy my life. it keeps me thinking of the goal and often motivates me to do something just for the purpose of having something to write for our readers.
DR Says:
October 9th, 2008, 9:35 am
This post made me think of another person trying to lose weight.
This guy wanted to lose weight. But he had tried before and failed.
So, to increase his odds of success, he wrote a cheque to the American Nazi party and gave it to his lawyer.
He instructed his lawyer that if he didn’t lose X amount of pounds by a specific date, that the lawyer was to mail that cheque to the Nazis.
Needless to say, he lost the weight.
It’s great to have a goal.
It’s great to try to achieve that goal.
But how are you going to create a burning desire to make that goal a certainty.
Posting your fat ass onto the internet for the whole world to see seems like pretty good motivation to me.
EscapeVelocity Says:
October 9th, 2008, 9:43 am
I think on the public pressure–it depends on what kind of people you hang out with. Some people want to see other people succeed, others kind of take it as an implied criticism of them (i.e. if you want to eat healthier, you may not get much support from the coworkers who want to order pizza).
Fit Bottomed Girls Says:
October 9th, 2008, 9:54 am
First, that picture is awesome. You always find the best ones to go with your posts…
Second, great tips! I find that everything comes easier to me when I focus on what I really like. Lately, I’ve been trying to run more because, for me, when I’m running regularly I feel like I’m in my best shape. I’m no marathoner (wink wink), but three to five miles a couple times of week does the trick for my body and mind. So, even on the days that I don’t really feel like running, I focus on how great I feel after I run and how it allows me for a little more fudge room in my eating. And by fudge room, I mean actually eating fudge. lol.
Tim Brownson Says:
October 9th, 2008, 10:04 am
I’m going to take a stab at explaining discipline and I don’t even know if I’m right or not, but here goes:
Discipline is the act of living in alignment with your own values no matter what the circumstances.
Therefore, if health is your number 1 value, you don’t smoke, you eat healthily and do all the other stuff attributed with good health.
If your number 1 value is integrity, similarly, you act in accordance with that no matter what the temptations are to do otherwise.
Refusing to compromise your values is incredibly difficult to do, but that to ME is real discipline.
Jonny Says:
October 9th, 2008, 10:24 am
I have been an avid follower of zen habits for a long time now and want to congradulate you on your sucess with this excellent blog. This is yet another great post. I would love to hear about how you have managed to make this happen and especially how you went about getting a publishing deal.
My thanks to you for giving you’re time and knowledge in creating this great resource and would love to hear from you. All the best in the future.
Michael Says:
October 9th, 2008, 10:25 am
You are completely right about the dissertation paper, I had troubles writing it and I never realized what the problem was, until a friend of mine asked me the same question “If I like what I write about!” at that time it didn’t seemed that important, it was just a topic… I have passed the exam anyway, but the point is if you get to write about what you really like, you can do much better anything… So, for me is important to like what you do, if you like it, then motivation comes along with it, no doubt.
michael Says:
October 9th, 2008, 10:59 am
The public display of goals is one of the main reasons I loved the site 43things. Groups of people can form little loose communities and cheer one another, comment and such, on goals.
It’s tough though, because you can have 43 goals(!) and it’s far too easy to let them be very vague…plus updating and commenting on them all and posting progress, is quite a time investment…and then you can also eat up time just reading other’s entries…
Helo Says:
October 9th, 2008, 11:23 am
Nice post !
I also agree with Schizo. Being structured, disciplined is what keeps you going when things gets bad. You can’t be thinking deeply everyday about what happened or why things don’t go the way you wanted. Sometimes, you just need to get going and follow your guidelines without thinking too much, and thus be disciplined. It can help for example when you’re tired.
Discipline also helps when going against public pressure. You need to be able to follow your guidelines no matter what people say around you.
Mary Says:
October 9th, 2008, 11:26 am
Setting a goal for 30 days seems to do the trick for me. If it’s not a habit within 30 days, then I need to make adjustments and set a new goal because something just doesn’t fit. This philosophy has brought a lot of joy into my life.
One terrific motivator is this blog and you Leo! I am training for my first 5K in December and I am up to running 90 seconds. (ok, I’m really out of shape, but everyone starts somewhere) Thanks for all you do Leo!
Juliet Says:
October 9th, 2008, 11:31 am
Hi
To add to what Tim Brownson wrote above, if one’s goals are not in line with one’s values, then it is unlikely that they will be achieved.
Juliet
Jean Gogolin Says:
October 9th, 2008, 12:05 pm
More than 20 years ago, when I was editor of a newspaper, I attended a quit-smoking group and wrote a several-week-long feature story about the experience.
Quitting was HARD, but I couldn’t back out with all those readers following the journey. And what a great reward!
Gail Robey Says:
October 9th, 2008, 12:35 pm
I have been reading zen habits for months now and I really enjoy it. I really like this post! I have had trouble with goal-setting, self-discipline, etc. much of my life. I know now that I was too hard on myself. When I started using “baby steps” and, as you said, do things that I really liked to do, it helped tremendously. I agree with someone else who already left a comment, that making my efforts public has been counter productive. Especially with something like losing weight. But with so many things, it’s helpful to at least have accountability, with people who WANT you to succeed! I think that’s the trick, find the right accountability partners.
Gail
Mike OD - IF life Says:
October 9th, 2008, 14:37 pm
Great Post! I truly believe the most important muscle to strengthen and use in life no matter what our goals are is our minds. Without focus and desire, nothing will happen.
As a smart man once said….You become what you think about. Think you will fail….you will….believe you can do it….and the world is full of endless possibilities!
Blue Raincoat Says:
October 9th, 2008, 15:24 pm
I am with you Liora :)
EscapeVelocity also makes important (in my opinion) point here. If I remember well, Leo has made similar point in some other post - i.e. choosing the right people to support you - it might not be that easy though.
And while I don’t think the positive external pressure is something wrong - actually it may turn out to be something really valuable (helping you to be “disciplined” for some time so that one day you discover that this is just what you want to do no matter if he public pressure continues). But for me it mostly works well as a part of defined structure - when I join a course or club or sign a contract and go to work. I can hardly imagine it could work for me in the way Leo describes.
Why is this so? I think it is because an organized structure gives you a kind of scheme you move along and you don’t need to worry much about, you just do everything to stick to it. On the other hand, when you declare something to your friends etc. there is no specific structure, everything is developing in an unpredictable way. So for example you start thinking what they think and why you declared it this way and not another and if this is really what you meant and if maybe they did not misunderstood you. And you hear all those strange opnions which are not meant to discourage you (even on the contrary) but somehow make you feel uneasy and depressed.
What I think happens here is that all the energy you could use for rethinking and refining your goal, for planning, for looking for the best tricks to achieve it and for just actual taking the steps toward it is drained by the attention you take to the way people react to your declarations.
It might be the thing of personality - extrovert would enjoy the positive pressure (induced by him) more than an introvert. But still, there are still some introverts in this world, aren’t there.
And just one more small comment - Albert told about performance vs mastery motivation forces, I would say these two secrets have a lot to do with the simplest of divisions made in this area - external and internal motivation (though I am not saying it’s exactly the same thing). And it is the latter that is usually thought the truest of motivation types.
Leo Says:
October 9th, 2008, 17:01 pm
@Tim Brownson, who wrote:
“Discipline is the act of living in alignment with your own values no matter what the circumstances.”
Maybe I’m being dense, but I still don’t understand what specifically discipline is … I mean, I get the above definition but how do you do it? If I wake up and know I should go running, what specifically do I do in order to be disciplined? I mean, obviously I would go running, but what specifically would I do to compel myself to run?
When I talk about motivating yourself to run, I gave some specific actions you could take: posting your goal on your blog or an online forum gives you positive public pressure, and enjoying the act of running is another motivator.
But what do you do in order to be disciplined? It seems to me that if you go running (in the above example), you *have* discipline, but if you don’t run and sleep in, you don’t have it. So discipline is something you have, not something you do, it seems.
So what do you do in order to increase the amount of discipline you have? You have to practice it, is my guess. But how do you practice it? By doing something that requires discipline. And how do you do that thing that requires discipline? By being disciplined? It’s a circle … unless you force yourself to do the thing that requires discipline … by taking a specific action to motivate yourself.
That’s what I mean by the concept of “discipline” being vague. There are no specific actions (unless someone can educate me — I could be wrong) that you can take to increase your discipline. But you can increase your motivation with specific actions — which is why I think motivation is a more useful concept than the vague concept of discipline.
I’m willing to hear examples to the contrary, of course!
Derek Says:
October 9th, 2008, 17:59 pm
@ Evo:
Money isn’t always a good motivator. I use to think money was my ultimate motivation until I didn’t need it anymore to remain comfortable.
There has to be something else that helps drive the passion other than money.
Tim Brownson Says:
October 9th, 2008, 18:27 pm
I don’t think you can increase your discipline, you can only tap into what is already there. Therefore, you need the motivation to do that (yep, we’re back there again) and that comes from understanding what makes you tick and what drives you.
You may have external motivational factors such as what others may think about you if you fail at whatever it is you set out to achieve They may help to a certain extent depending on how strong your external locus of control is.
But if you can tap into your internal motivation (your values) that will be infinitely more powerful.
I’ve been sat staring at this for 10 minutes now and I’m not sure where I’m going with because I’m going in circles somewhat. I may even have to write a post on this subject!
To me motivation and discipline are almost one and the same thing and you can’t really have one without the other. Try replacing one with the other for any given situation and it’s remarkably easy to do.
If your dense then so am I Leo, because I have done a terrible job of explaining what I mean ;-)
@ evo - Money is a dreadful motivator in the long term and has been proven as such many times. It works in short bursts, but that’s about it.
Maura Says:
October 9th, 2008, 19:08 pm
@Leo, regarding your question “What exactly is discipline? Forcing yourself to do something you don’t like? That’s an act, not a quality or anything in particular.”
I think discipline is a skill or an internal “muscle” you develop, not just an act, that ensures that you keep on course even when your motivation lags. It keeps you doing what is good for you long term, or what you have set goals to do, even when you are resisting doing it or when your emotions (like boredom) get in the way.
@Liora, I’m with you on the internal motivation issue. It may be good for some, but for me, public accountability just gets in the way - pressure is more oppressive than motivating. I have this little internal “happy bubble” space in which I can operate that makes pursuit of goals very pleasurable, and acheivement even better. (Whether or not the activity itself is enjoyable, I find motivation in the reason and/or intended result of pursuing the goal.) When the “public” gets involved, the stress overpowers the joy of pursuit and achievement, I get distracted and distraught, and I shut down. Shameful or not, bye-bye, motivation.
Leo Says:
October 9th, 2008, 19:30 pm
@Tim Brownson: Yes, you’ve hit on exactly what I’m trying to get at … there’s nothing in particular you can do to increase your discipline (if it even exists — I haven’t seen proof of it yet) … but there are specific things you can do to motivate yourself. Which is why I think it’s more useful to focus on motivation.
@Maura, who wrote:
“I think discipline is a skill or an internal “muscle” you develop, not just an act, that ensures that you keep on course even when your motivation lags.”
I hate to keep harping on this, but I’m really trying to understand … if it’s a muscle you develop it, how do you do that specifically? What specific acts do you do?
Again, here’s how it seems to me:
1. To increase your discipline muscle, you have to do things you don’t want to do.
2. To do those things you don’t want to do … you need discipline. You can’t do something you don’t want to do otherwise … unless you use motivational acts as I described above.
Or is there some other way to practice discipline that doesn’t already require discipline? How do I force myself to get up and run (if I feel like going back to bed) if I don’t have discipline?
Again, it seems that you’d use motivation. Which makes discipline a concept that’s not very useful … there’s *nothing* you can do to increase it (again, if it even exists).
I’m still willing to hear examples to the contrary. I’d love to hear someone tell me what you can do, specifically, to improve discipline that isn’t a motivational act.
The reason I am going on and on about this is because increasingly, it seems to me that whenever someone talks about discipline, he is really talking about motivation. Discipline is a vague notion that can’t be acted upon — but again, I could be wrong.
Alain Yap Says:
October 9th, 2008, 20:00 pm
Thanks for shedding light on this and it’s good to find out that people are really interested about self-improvement.
It just occurred to me how this would relate to someone who is isolated, say like a person who does his job like planting crops on a remote island. Surely, public pressure doesn’t matter. I must say that the case for ‘need’ comes up like in Maslow’s.
Must be my solipsistic self but I’ve always thought that the drive comes from within more than from outside forces.
You got me thinking, Leo. I’m blessed.
Best.
alain
Liora Hess Says:
October 9th, 2008, 21:09 pm
I’m snickering here at the vicious circle of discipline. You bring up a great question, Leo.
When people talk about developing discipline, they’re generally always referring to doing what they don’t want to do. And winning that battle requires motivation or at least a habit. However, in thinking about this, isn’t the definition of a habit something that we do automatically? If so, part of discipline could be simply no longer having to have the battle. If you have a goal of getting up at 5 a.m., it’s probably going to be hard at first. Once you’ve trained yourself that you bound out of bed and shut that alarm clock off and walk straight to the bathroom *without emotion* you’re also demonstrating discipline in the form of a habit which is no longer requiring motivation. Same goes for if you automatically reach for the floss after brushing or hang up your clothes instead of letting them fall to the floor. It would be habit to let them fall to the floor, so maybe it just needs to be a new habit to hang them or fold them?
So, to make the circle even more vicious :) , couldn’t we consider not working out simply a habit rather than assigning the label of “bad habit?” To form a new discipline (noun) requires discipline aided by motivation. Eventually, ideally we will have discipline that is effortless because we have created a habit that requires no more emotional tug-of-war.
Think my head hurts now. Time for the discipline of going to bed.
Liora Hess Says:
October 9th, 2008, 21:22 pm
More thoughts on this after getting ready for bed…discipline is, I think, mistakenly thought of as doing something we don’t want to do. Many of us have negative associations with the word. It was something that was done *to* us as kids. But discipline isn’t limited to overcoming what you don’t want to do. It’s practice. A practice doesn’t always have to be a struggle.
Hot Alpha Female Says:
October 10th, 2008, 0:05 am
Whoa I have just come across this blog and i think that im in love.
Anyways back to the post.
I think that you raise 2 really good points here.
And what you are describing is this whole concept of pain v pleasure.
See the whole public thing works because more people are holding you accountable and therefore if you don’t achieve your goal then you are going to have to let them down ….
The second point works because when you find pleasure in doing something instead of pain then you are more willing to go and do it.
For example when we look at weightloss.
A lot of people that i know who have lsot the weight or become a lot more health conscious have been able to do so because their associations with food an exercise have changed.
They see food as a way to feed the body and give it its proper nutrients rather than something they can use to suppress certain emotions.
Instead of feeling bad about exercise … they feel the need to exercise because once they get into a routine of doing it everyday then they start to feel really good about the results that they are getting and so on.
So in both cases they have turned things that were once painful experiences for them and turned them into things that were extremely pleasurable.
Great post!!
Hot Alpha Female
Colleen Olson Says:
October 10th, 2008, 0:42 am
Hi Leo,
Great post. I found it very encouraging… and motivating. =)
I like the suggestion of finding like minded people on the internet to help keep you motivated. I have tried a few times to look for blogs or forums about walking and have not been successful. The only things I find are about running and that doesn’t help me much. Do you have any suggestions on how to search for something like that?
Giyen Says:
October 10th, 2008, 1:18 am
Hands down, enjoying your goal activity is so important. I used to think that I was a chronic procrastinator but now I realize that I wasn’t me, it was the “activity”
Ever since I started writing, I can’t stop. I love it and it’s shown me how motivated you can be when you are doing something you love.
Blue Raincoat Says:
October 10th, 2008, 1:27 am
@Maura, thank you for some useful expressions describing the way public accountability often works for some of us :) (reading such a blog as Leo’s can be I think a very good method of learning English too :))
Yes, it’s a good metaphor of public accountability narrowing our internal space. But why I often feel sinful when keeping these goals to myself and just seem obliged to tell about them other people… Cheers
Dan Dan Says:
October 10th, 2008, 6:29 am
Hey Great Post …
Alan Westbrook Says:
October 10th, 2008, 7:26 am
Great post
I wonder if you could tell me which on line forum you were accessing in relation to your running.
I’ve recently returned to running and this would be a great help for me.
I’ll Google for one, but the one you used has obviously been a help
Alistair Says:
October 10th, 2008, 8:48 am
@Liora ( & others) - its good to see I’m not alone in not being a fan of the public accountability thing. I hadn’t seen your post at the time I wrote. You made the point very succinctly.
@escapevelocity - having supportive people around does make a difference, but for me it has never helped with the public accountability issue. If my friends notice I am doing something well, that I’ve improved in some way, that is gratifying, and then it helps to continue, but that is a different thing.
Going with the public accountability thing feels too much like coercing myself, which I don’t like to do. As Liora put it, it feels draining, and negative.
@Leo. On the self discipline thing, I think it has to do with being able to make and keep agreements with yourself, and doing what you’ve decided you want to do, even if you don’t feel like doing it, or have trouble sticking with it, or enjoying it, or staying motivated. It is based on your desire to stick with something you know you should do, and would like to be able to do. So there is a level of ‘want’, or ‘desire’, based on your reasoning, and/or intuitive self, rather than the lazier, ‘just wants simple gratification’ self. Discipline is the ability to not only make that choice, but to stick with it and carry it through.
For example, your example of starting small, e.g. with exercise, say 10-15 minutes per day, to start the exercise habit.
Now the act of building the habit, builds discipline. But the habit isn’t the discipline. The ability to build the habit is the thing that we often describe with the word discipline, or phrase ’self discipline’. Persisting with the habit, growing it, establishing new ones (e.g. reserving Sunday afternoons as quality time with your significant other, and making sure everything else that needs to be done does *not* encroach on that time), resisting distractions from your chosen course, all develop that ability. It is the ability to control what you do. To choose what you do, and act consistently on that choice. You could also call it willpower, or resolve, though I think these are parts of the greater whole we (or I, at least) think of as discipline.
…of course after all this I decided to look up a dictionary to help me with this, but being lazy (not disciplined enough, I guess 8-) …) I googled discipline, and found this snippet in wikipedia…
“Thus, self-discipline is the assertion of willpower over more base desires, and is usually understood to be a synonym of ’self control’. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine a best course of action that opposes one’s desires.”
Wish I’d said that first up. Anyway, hope that helps.
Shelly Says:
October 10th, 2008, 10:10 am
I am also not a huge fan of public accountability and think there is something to the old saying about “keeping your goals away from the trolls”. You have to choose, very carefully, with whom you will share your goals. Perhaps, make the people that you share them with, people who are already doing the thing you want to do–that way, there is built-in respect for that person. Then, when they give you a “reminder” about your goal, it sounds less like a nag.
If you tell your cube-mate, who eats fast food every day, that your goal is to eat only healthy lunches from now on and would like them to remind you of that, when that person does speak up to remind you, there may be a tendency on your part to think, “well, what do they know? They just eat fast food every day…”
In breaking from a habit that you once shared with that person, you do have to distance yourself from it, at least mentally. You might think to yourself, “Fast food = bad” as an internal motivator. While that thought process doesn’t make your cube-mate a bad person, it makes them NOT the person you want to be as far as dietary habits, so, why would you follow their advice (or nagging), even if you invited it?
Worse, there is always the possibility that they might roll in one day with a bag of food and offer you some, cuz it’s “just one french fry…” :-)
Some people do work better with external motivators, but I find that when I tell someone what I’m going to do, or set a deadline, it almost always sucks the wind out of my sails. Without external “have to’s”, I produce miraculous results. With them, I feel a lot of non-productive guilt, as if that person is standing to the side, arms crossed, tapping their foot–all in my head, of course. It is definitely a personal thing, as I know not everybody feels the same way, or associates the same extremely bad feelings with “failing” in a public way. Perhaps I am just stubborn. OK, I know that I am just stubborn!
Thoughts?
Hot Alpha Female Says:
October 10th, 2008, 10:39 am
I think that you bring up a number of excellent points here.
What i think you are describing are the concepts of pain v pleasure.
As we know, people will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.
Therefore when you talk about being public and telling everyone you know about your goals you are more motivated to complete your goals because otherwise you will have to experience the pain of telling them that you failed.
No one wants that.
Also you talk about associating more pleasurable things to things that at the moment are painful experiences.
I have found from the stories i have heard of people who lose wight for example and keep the weight off.
They have had a complete association overhaul.
So instead of finding pleasure with eating. They find pleasure in keeping fit and staying active.
They see food as nutrients for the body rather than something to do to surpress certain emotions or make them feel better.
Instead of having to haul their butt to the gym or go for a walk they link massive pleasure to working out and exercising because they feel so great afterwards.
All of this is just changing perception and associations with things we currently have.
Thank you
Hot Alpha Female
Tim Brownson Says:
October 10th, 2008, 13:30 pm
@ Hot Alpha Mail - “As we know, people will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure”
Really??
I see that quoted time and again, but my understanding is that’s not particularly true and that all people sit somewhere on the liner scale of pain and pleasure.
One of the tricks with being a great manager of people is to understand which individuals respond to which and in what degree. Unfortunately most people resort to one or the other (usually the one they favor) and can’t understand why some people just can’t seem to ‘get it’
There’s also a huge generalization in saying nobody wants to admit they didn’t reach their goals.
I did exactly that about 2 weeks ago. I posted a load of goals on my blog and then went back 3 weeks later and said I ‘failed’ I really didn’t worry about what other people thought of me, I just wanted to be honest and share my experience.
It also helped me realize that I hadn’t tapped into my motivational factors well enough. I was using my readers to help me achieve something that I didn’t really want, or more importantly, see the need, to do.
People with a strong internal locus of control will never be influenced by what other people think. Bizarrely people that have a massive external locus of control will not like it either. They are likely to get stressed senseless with the fear of what other people may think of them.
This is a really fascinating debate with some great comments btw.
B. Wilde Says:
October 10th, 2008, 14:47 pm
I completely agree. There was an unknown authored quote I read about 30 years ago that still sticks with me: “If your daily chores are drudger, it’s nobodies fault but your own.” How true is that! Your principles are so applicable and I found them to be even more useful in raising kids. If I can just turn their miserable task (Saturday jobs) into some kind of a game or contest, the house ends up spic and span. If I tell them to go do their jobs and then I go mow the lawn they either lay on the floor and cry or else go hide out in their room. It’s all about the fun and the reward. Thanks for sharing.
Blue Raincoat Says:
October 10th, 2008, 15:07 pm
@Allstair, following what you wrote and quoted, I would say that self-discipline could be thought as a kind of “formal” type of motivation (strictly external motivators could also go into this category) - a motivation that does not refer to the very nature of the activity or goal being enjoyable for you but rather to self-accountability and making conclusions from past experience and act upon them - well let’s give it a try for a little bit longer, because it might turn out good eventually for the reasons I am unable to see at the moment (because my initial motivation got very low somehow).
Still, there’s something in the word that makes me reluctant just to exchange it for the word motivation. Like if it described the way people do some things, but strictly from the outside, not being derivable from any of their internal characteristics. From the inside there are just reasonigs, decisions, acts… Hmm blind-alley, I can’t pin it down :)
Hot Alpha Female Says:
October 10th, 2008, 19:27 pm
@ Tim Brownson: You make some excellent points and I just want to add to that.
Firstly would you agree that someone who declares their goals, talks about it all the time to people and write them down is more likely to achieve them, then someone who does not?
I think declaring your goals is important because not only do people around you hold you more accountable, but you believe it more and more because your speaking about it as if it was real .. all the time.
I think the statement ” People will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure” means that sometimes painful experiences can get you moving a lot quicker than “just wanting to have a better life”.
For example you look at someone like Oprah or Anthony Robbins and both started out on their path to success when their lives were in turmoil which spurred them on.
I think Tony says something along the lines of “people only move because of two things … desperation and inspiration”.
I think that if you want to get anywhere in life … Then you need to have the push from something you want to avoid and the pull of something that you really want.
I understand what you are saying about external validation too. For some people they strive for the external valisation from their friends when they reach the top and then they realise that THEY are the only ones that could give it to themsleves.
But had they not moved in life and set those goals … for whatever reason ..
Would they have really co