7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Sean Platt of the Writer Dad blog.

Nature and nurture are in a never ending battle to claim the disposition of our children. While it’s true that the apple rarely tumbles too far from the tree, it is also true that there are a multitude of things we as parents can do to safeguard the childhoods of our children, limit their exposure to the more damaging elements the world will see fit to introduce in time, and do our best to raise a healthy and happy child.

We might not be able to help the variety of our branches, but we are the ones who control the nutrients in their soil and the sunlight in their sky.

In addition to the obvious things such as making sure your child is consuming the right nutrients, staying hydrated, and getting the quantity of sleep and exercise a growing body needs, here are 7 secrets that can help you raise a happy child.

1. Let your child know you are excited to see them when they enter the room. Let them see the light dance inside your eyes when their gaze drifts into yours. Be mindful of their presence by showing them your smile and greeting them warmly. Say their name out loud. Not only do children love to hear the sound of their name, they also long to feel validation from their loved ones. Think about it from an adult perspective - wouldn’t you love it if the face of the person you loved most lit like a holiday parade every time you entered the room? Your child loves you the most, imagine the returns after a childhood filled with such affection.

2. Teach your child it’s okay to be bored. As parents, it’s often our instinct to entertain our children each and every waking hour. When we don’t possess the time or energy, it is all too easy to allow the glowing blue babysitter in the living room to do the heavy lifting. But when we rely on television, or any other form of autopilot attention, we succeed only in limiting our child’s development. Children have vivid imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to coax their creativity, it will only whither on the vine. Allow your child idle minutes to develop their creativity with hands-on activities to stimulate their thought. A few sheets of paper and a box of crayons can keep a well rounded child busy for far longer than an episode of Dora.

Things We Think About But Do Not Say

Article by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead; follow him on twitter.

What would happen if we started being honest with ourselves about what we really want?

What if we started being ruthlessly real? What if we actually said the things that we think about, but are afraid to say?

Our egos may shrink and squirm, afraid to face reality as it is; afraid to bypass all the pretense; afraid to confront the shear nakedness of authenticity.

But maybe if we could evade the grip of our ego-based fears, we could embrace unfiltered, unmediated reality.

Maybe, just then, we’d start to come alive.

When I speak of open, authentic honesty, I mean being truly connected to your higher self. Not the ego-dominated self, but your spirit, (or whatever word you’d like to use, the word is not important). When you’re tuned into this source that is bigger than your puny ego, your living from a state of unadulterated awareness.

When you’re acting from this state, you’re not thinking about whether what you’re doing is right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate. You act completely naturally, unafraid to express yourself authentically and freely. You’re not afraid to tell someone how you really feel or ask for something you need. It’s from this place that you experience bliss, because there is no ego holding you back from it. There is no hesitation when the ego is not present.

So how do you get into this state of flow and uninhibited movement?

Here are the three simplest and most effective things you can to become more conscious, and in turn, more authentic.

Cut the Cubicle Umbilical Cord: The Seven Traits of the Free Man

Article by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead; follow him on twitter.

If you want to wake up happy on a daily basis, you have to own your own time. You have to be the one that dictates what you do and when you do it. Otherwise, you’re at the mercy of your owner boss.

You may think that you should be grateful for your job, and you should. But when it comes down to it, you’re not going to hit a ceiling of happiness and purpose if you’re not working for yourself. (I know there may be a few exceptions, but let’s be honest, they are exceptions.)

There’s no getting around this.

The Secret Ingredient for a Better Marriage

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Corey Allan of Simple Marriage.

As you progress through a marriage, or any committed relationship, routine is bound to dictate a lot of what happens. As the glitz and glamour of romance subside, daily schedules, obligations, kids, and chores take over.

Routine becomes such a factor in life that I’d be willing to bet you could accurately predict your spouse’s schedule of interaction with you throughout the week. And they could do the same with you.

8 Ways to Make Huge Savings in Your Budget

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

With the economy not doing so well, many people are looking for ways to save money and get on more solid financial ground.

And while it’s great to cut out little things, such as lattes and Gucci bags, what most people need are big savings. You know, thousands of dollars in savings, not $50 a month.

But you can’t slash your budget for items such as food, gas and utilities — while you can save some money in these areas, the savings are usually pretty small compared to some of the items below. So I’ve compiled a list of ways you can make big changes, at least for a little while — and who knows, maybe over the long term.

10 Essential Money Skills for a Bad Economy

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from J.D. Roth, who writes about smart personal finance at Get Rich Slowly.

The economy is in a shambles. The stock market’s down, unemployment’s up, and the housing market is still skidding sideways. The people I know are beginning to get nervous. They’re worried that the recession will turn worse, and that their personal finances will end up in ruins, too.

When it comes to money, the best defense is a good offense. The best way to avoid fallout from the national economy is to take control of your personal economy. By developing smart financial habits, you can remain calm even in the midst of a financial crisis. (Well, mostly calm, anyhow.)

Over the past three years, I’ve written a lot about money. Based on my experience (and feedback from my readers), here are ten essential money skills that can help you to weather the current financial storm.

10 Ways to Beat the “Can’t Get No Satisfaction” Syndrome

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Are you feeling like life isn’t exciting enough? That maybe you’re missing out on something because you just can’t get motivated for anything? Turns out you’re not alone.

Recently, reader Rachel asked:

“In a population of 6 billion+ people globally, it is hard not to feel like another number. I find life so disenchanting the more I pursue things I though were my dreams. I am at possibly the top university in the world getting my masters to make the world a better place… yet I lack the joy and excitement that I should have. If this were just my problem, I would figure this out, but I think so many of us deal with this. We can have so much to be grateful for, and we very well might be grateful…however, when the achievement of a dream fails to make us as satisfied as we thought it would, it calls the very credibility of dreaming into question. I appreciate the process of life, one might say…Nothing seems to be that exciting though… nothing could surprise me anymore. I was wondering if you had any insight on this issue… i.e. what I call the “I can’t get no satisfaction” syndrome.”

What a tough question! How do you get excited about life?

The Joys of Moving, the Comfort of Friends and Family

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Today is moving day for my family — we’re moving to the beautiful village of Hagatna, which is actually the capital “city” of Guam. (I put “city” in sarcastic quotes because while Hagatna is the center of government on Guam and the home of many fine businesses and restaurants, there are actually only about 400 residents in the city. It thrives by day and is nice and sleepy at night.)

So our house is decluttered and packed, and we’re about to haul all our stuff from the hilly, quiet and scenic village of Santa Rita to the more downtown Hagatna.

It’s a wonderful move in many ways, because although we’ll miss Santa Rita greatly, Hagatna is just so much closer to everything. We’ll be within walking distance of great restaurants, a grocery store, a library, the beach, parks, movie theaters, the post office, the gym, the kids’ music lessons and soccer games, and much more. In Santa Rita, we had to drive to get to anything. So this move is a move toward an even simpler life, where we can walk more and drive less.

It’s always interesting to move, though: you find old moldy things you never knew you had, lurking in the darkest nether regions of your closets. You discover that you’ve never moved your refrigerator in the three years you’ve lived in the house, and that an interesting miniature civilization has formed in the shadows. You learn that when you have to move everything you own, you suddenly realize that you don’t need to own this much, really.

We’re excited. :)

My Grandfather’s Funeral
Yesterday was my grandfather’s funeral — actually more of a memorial service and celebration of his life. It was actually very wonderful, because it was held beach-side with gorgeous weather, a strong ocean breeze, good food and a huge amount of friends and family.

My grandfather was Joe Murphy, for 40+ years the editor and then columnist of the Pacific Daily News (formerly the Guam Daily News). He’s a journalism legend on Guam, an inspiration to me as a writer, and he touched countless lives here on Guam and in the Micronesian region. I can’t possibly summarize his amazing life in this post, and I won’t try, but I will say that I miss him greatly.

I hope, when I die, that I can look back on my life and say that I’ve had as great a life as my grandpa had. He traveled the world — really, he went everywhere — he left behind a legacy of history and words that is unparalleled here on Guam, he had a huge family of 8 kids and 42 grandchildren and greatgrandchildren, he died peacefully in his sleep, at home, in bed, with his unbeatable and beloved ocean view just to his left.

He was a great man, and he leaves behind a great woman — my grandmother, Marion, who is someone I admire just as much for her strength, her courage, her kindness, and her beauty over the years. The two of them had their ups and downs in 62 years of marriage, but I can only dream that my marriage will be as strong and long-lasting as theirs has been.

The really touching thing about yesterday was having so many friends come out for the service. There were people I hadn’t seen in years, and we were able to catch up a bit. Having friends and family come together in a time of grief is a powerful thing — everyone is holding each other up, sharing the burden of grief so that no one person much bear the brunt of it, keeping each other busy with kind words and loving hugs and song and even laughter from the many stories shared.

I’m grateful for the amazing friends and family we have, and my greatest hope is that I can have so many friends and family surround me through the rest of this journey we like to call life. It’s a blessing unmatched.

30 Simple Family Pleasures

Editor’s note: this is a guest post by mommy blogger Vered DeLeeuw.

Do you remember to have fun every day?

I’m sure you remember to brush your teeth, to eat, and to go to work. I’m confident you have a handwritten or a technology-based to-do list that you carefully go through each day. But if you read this blog, it means you want more from your life. You want to de-stress, to be present, to enjoy the journey instead of rushing through it like a madman.

Having fun with your family, especially the simple kind of fun - the one that doesn’t drain you emotionally and financially, is a wonderful way to relax and enjoy life. And in times of economic uncertainty, it is especially important to enjoy family time that does not involve spending lots of money. Here are 30 ideas for high-quality, low-cost, stress-free family fun.

On Compassion Towards Our Children

“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” - Gandhi

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

The other day I talked about how someone interested in Compassion should talk about compassion towards animals, a group of living beings that is often overlooked.

But just as important is a discussion of compassion towards our own children — people we love and don’t want to see suffer, and yet whose suffering we often cause.