By Leo Babauta

A number of people I’ve talked to lately are going through a big transition in their lives:

  • Quit or changing jobs

  • Sold a company and not sure where to go next

  • Kids leaving the nest

  • Health problems or helping an aging parent with health issues

  • Starting school or going back to the workplace

  • Retiring, reinventing yourself

  • Moving somewhere new

  • Dealing with financial problems

The list goes on and on — lots of us are going through a transition period.

And what you might notice is that this can feel really groundless — the solid ground we like under our feet just isn’t there. It feels uncertain, and can bring anxiety or fear.

From that uncertainty, we might go to distractions, comfort foods or addictions, shopping, or a number of other things that don’t really address the uncertainty.

So how can we navigate these transitions with some grace?

Let’s take a look.

Acknowledging & Practicing with the Uncertainty

The first step is just to acknowledge that you’re feeling uncertainty. You’re in a transition, it feels groundless, you are worried you don’t know what you’re doing and you might fail. Acknowledge the fears, anxiety, frustrations, and judgments that you might notice.

Just acknowledge them without judgment — it’s OK to feel all of this. There’s no problem with them.

Then you can practice:

  • Notice how the uncertainty (and other emotions) feel in your body. Locate them in the body, notice the sensations.

  • Keep your attention on these sensations, just for a few moments. It’s like meditating on the breath, but instead you’re putting the attention on uncertainty sensations.

  • Breathe slowly and deeply, and allow your nervous system to settle. Let it be OK that you’re feeling groundless, and let it just be a feature of the transition you’re going through.

In this way, we can soothe our nervous system, without needing to control everything. Without needing to fix everything. Or panic.

Once we’ve settled a bit with the uncertainty, the question becomes how to act. We can’t always just do nothing!

And so a few ideas can be helpful here:

  • If you can get to a place of at least some relaxation and calm, some degree of openness, then the choices you make and the actions you take will be very different. Breathe and practice the steps in the previous section first.

  • You don’t have to know exactly how things will work out — you can take one small step at a time. Choose a step, and take it, then choose again. This is a small-step approach to navigating uncertainty.

  • To navigate without knowing exactly where you’re going and how things will work out … requires trusting yourself. You might not have that self-trust yet, which is why you might either freak out, or avoid action. So build the trust just a little at a time — take small steps in uncertainty, but nothing that can’t be reversed or fixed if things go wrong. Over time, you’ll be able to take slightly riskier steps if you start to trust yourself to deal with any outcome.

  • Take an attitude of learning — you don’t need to know the answers and the outcomes, you’re here to learn! Be curious, try experimenting, and reflect on what you’re learning. This is a more open way to deal with uncertain situations.

And perhaps most important: give yourself some grace. Don’t expect perfection or “doing it right.” Let it be a little messy, let yourself make mistakes or freak out a little. Let it be OK that you’re not completely comfortable in uncertainty, and that you don’t have full self-trust yet.

Giving ourselves a little grace, when we’re in the midst of a big life transition, is an incredible gift. May you grant yourself that grace, my friends.