By Leo Babauta

Someone told me recently that I’m one of the only people they know that seems to have a baseline of happiness. Most of the people they know, including themselves, are stressed, angry, anxious, overwhelmed, sad, etc.

It made me start to reflect: is this actually true? And if so, why is it true for me?

And I think it is true. I’m definitely not happy all the time — I have all the emotions everyone else has — but I do think my baseline is one of happiness and peace.

So why do I have this baseline? Part of it might be that I got lucky — I was born with brain chemistry that helps me. I think my mom also has a baseline of happiness, so it could be her genetics, or how she raised me. (I also had a dad who very much didn’t have happiness as his baseline, and his parenting definitely gave me some trauma to overcome.)

But I also think I’ve built on that with my own habits, mental and otherwise, that have helped me to have this baseline. I think these habits can help anyone, even if you weren’t blessed with good chemistry or a loving parent.

Let’s take a look.

My Habits of Happiness

I’ll start by saying that these won’t cure everything, nor are they easy fixes. They’re mental habits, and they take time to cultivate.

But here are the mental habits I’ve found to be helpful:

  1. Slow down & savor: This is the idea that Zen Habits is built on — don’t always try to rush through your day, to get on to the next thing. Instead, slow down, and savor moments as often as you can remember. Every moment is something to be savored, if we can just wake up to that.

  2. Be fascinated: So many of us get bored with life, or take the wonders of life for granted. Instead, what if we could get curious about the things we barely notice anymore? What if we could let our fascination lead us, instead of going through the motions?

  3. Everything is a lesson: When I’m frustrated with someone, or frustrated with myself, or things are not going the way I’d like … I have learned to see what I’m facing as a lesson in deeper wisdom. I try to pause and notice what this person, or this moment, has to teach me. My deepest lessons come from the hardest struggles.

  4. Enjoy progress, not only the result: I’ve come to enjoy every little bit of progress that I make. If I am inching along on a project, if my fitness journey is taking way longer than I hoped it would … I try to see what progress I’ve already made, and celebrate that. Even if it’s just a few steps. It means that I’m encouraging myself along the way, and that the end point is just one joyous point among many.

  5. Feel but don’t dwell: I find that it’s important to feel all the feels. If I get sad, I let myself really feel heartbroken. If I get angry, I let myself rage (not at another person though). I feel all of it. But then I’m done. It’s not helpful to dwell on the thoughts that cause the feelings.

  6. Try not to take things too seriously!: I like to take life lightly. I try to laugh at myself, and make a little fun in heavier situations (when appropriate!). This means that life can be lighthearted, which is always more fun!

  7. Practice gratitude & wonder: I started my journey toward happiness with a simple gratitude practice — I just listed 10 things I was grateful for that day. Often they were the same things (my family, my health, nature) but what this did was have me looking throughout the day for things I might take for granted but that I was glad was in my life. Later, I expanded that to seeing things that filled me with wonder. This is how we appreciate the miracle of everyday life.

This isn’t meant to be a comprehensive list — nor do you have to do all of these to be happy. They’ve just helped me tremendously over the years.

The hard part, of course, is forming these habits. Here’s what I’d recommend:

  • Pick one and set an intention to practice with it every day. Set reminders on your phone, and posted around your living and working spaces.

  • Try to catch moments when you can practice that mental habit. It’ll be hard at first, but you’ll start to catch it more and more.

  • Set a 5-minute review habit for the end of each day, when you try to notice when you practiced during the day and when you might have missed it. It’ll help you get better each day.

  • Do this for at least a month per mental habit. You’ll drop off a little at the middle of the month, but then try to recommit yourself to it and that’s when the real learning happens.

Be patient. It takes time. These are mental habits I’ve developed over years of practice. But they are so worth it.