Habit Webinar Recordings: Overcoming Habit Barriers

By Leo Babauta

It was an honor to hold this Kickstarter-reward webinar, Overcoming Habit Barriers, for all of you, and to answer your awesome questions.

I’ve posted the recording of the talks and Q&A sessions (see below the notes), but first, here are the notes for my talk …

Notes for Overcoming Habit Barriers Talk

What do we struggle with?

• inertia (getting started)
• finding time/space for them
• remembering
• consistency
• moments of weakness
• giving up when it’s hard
• getting back on track
• stopping bad habits
• trying to change everything at once
• prioritizing habits
• changes in environment, adversity

We also have trouble when we’re: hungry, tired, stressed, anxious, sick or lonely.

The real problem: Resistance. It’s the part in our brain that doesn’t want to change, that likes comfort, that runs from too much discomfort and uncertainty. It’s the part of your brain that will have negative self-talk (“you can’t do this”) or rationalization (“just this one time won’t hurt”).

This is the part that procrastinates, that complains when we’re tired or hungry or stressed, that resists starting when we miss a few days, that keeps us doing our bad habits (which are habits that comfort us), that make rationalizations and excuses.

Overcome Resistance: So how do we overcome the resistance? Some key ideas:

1. Start small, increase gradually. (also helps with not having time)
2. Make a big commitment and have social accountability (and maybe an embarrassing consequence). We’re social animals so we tend to overcome resistance if we have social commitment. (also set reminders so you meet your commitment)
3. Be flexible. If you travel, get sick, have too much going on, shift to a Minimum Viable Habit (MVH) or put on hold for a few days.
4. Get into a learning/growth mode. This is one where we’re allowing ourselves to step into uncertainty, push a bit into discomfort, to learn and grow. We see, if we’re mindful, that it’s not that bad. Just don’t push too far.
5. Take your time, be patient, be forgiving, have self-compassion when you mess up.

You have to be motivated to put these into action. If the habit will solve some real pain point in your life, you’re much more likely to put them into action. If it’s not something you really care about, you probably won’t do it.

Practice:

• Pick one small easy habit, commit to doing for just 2 minutes a day for a month. Think of it as training.
• Make it something that has a pain point for you – if you procrastinate, just focus on doing an important task for 2 minutes every day before you check email.
• Tell someone about it. Commit to doing it or you have to do an embarrassing consequence. Report to them weekly.
• Set reminders. Don’t let yourself put it off. When the time comes, just start.
• If you mess up, practice self-compassion.
• If there is something that gets in the way, recognize whether it’s rationalizations or actual difficulty (like illness), and be flexible if you need to be. Call on social help if it’s rationalizations.

You can get better at overcoming the resistance with practice – start small and get better gradually. Eventually you’ll become a master at it, with enough practice.

Webinar 1

You can download the video here.

Questions answered in this webinar (questions start at the 27:15 mark):

• Can you tell us how you changed your diet– how long did it take you to change?


• How do you stay motivated with newer habits that you’ve adopted for a while, but slowly find yourself slipping back into the old habit?
• 

Do you use a tracking system for developing a habit?
You seem so calm and joyful. Are you ever anxious or critical of yourself or others?


Webinar 2

You can download the video here.

Questions answered in this webinar (questions start at the 26:45 mark):

• I have 2 questions regarding the 2nd point: commitment. – What would you say, what is necessary for a strong commitment? – Will this be a feature of your habit app?

• How remember to do multiple habits. As I build up habits, I end up with notes everywhere! :-) When I remove them, I tend to forget.
• Does meditation help you in overcoming procrastination and how?

• 
I feel like I’m cycling through the same habits over & over. I’m good at getting started with a habit, but once they pile up, I get obsessed with ticking boxes or they start to slip. How to balance?
• My biggest resistance is usually 3-4 months into a habit and has to do with it’s value / impact on my life and long term vision. I get stuck in my head. Any thoughts on moving past this?
 Or how to use this as a benefit / tool?



• What do you think about rewards to motivate habits? I experienced that for example collecting stars for each day I do my habit motivates me to collect even more of them by doing my habit.


• What are your current rituals and visual reminders for reading for fun? And how do you choose what to read next?
• I have several areas where I should have better habits. How do you know where to start? How do you prioritize? I should start with everything, but I’d be overwhelmed…

Webinar 3

You can download the video here.

Questions answered in this webinar (questions start at the 31:15 mark):

• I have family and friends who make excuses and rationalize for me when I fail. It makes doing habits even harder. How do you suggest overcoming this?
• Are you very flexible in timing your habits (e.g. training). Due to work and other people in my life my weekdays are always different and I feel it’s difficult to fit the habits I want into my day.


• Is there something you tell yourself to help get the energy to start when your emotional mind is throwing a moody fit?


• How long do you suggest I should try out a new habit? You talked about a month. Is that your experience? If a new habit survives for a month, it can be evaluated and/or changed…?
• 

With a chronic illness I step out of my comfort zone every morning when standing up. Establishing new habits need always an extra mile from me. Do you have any tips to motivate for my extra mile?

• In regards to the “social accountability”…I’m not really into FB and I don’t have a huge social network. Any other way to hold myself accountable?
  

If you have a lack of community or can’t find one that meets your needs, does it make sense to actually pay someone to keep you accountable?