By Leo Babauta

When we’re struggling to make a big change, it’s usually because of resistance — not feeling like writing my book, not in the mood to exercise or meditate …

Or craving — “I want to eat all the desserts instead of eating healthy food” or wanting to buy something online, play that video game, go on social media, etc..

These two kinds of moments can really trip us up, even though we rarely notice them. Then we blame ourselves and get discouraged.

There’s a secret to dealing with these moments of resistance or craving. It’s pausing and breathing.

Hear me out …

First, you have to notice. Most of the time, these moments of craving or resistance fly under the radar. We don’t even notice they’re happening, we just notice after, when we’ve fallen off of what we planned and feel bad about it.

So the first thing you have to do is notice the moment of resistance or craving. How do you notice? By trying to pinpoint the exact moment when you give in to a craving (“Darn it, I ate all the cookies”) or when you turned away from the thing you wanted to do (“I could have gone out for a walk, but chose to stay in and go on my phone”).

Notice it, and try to catch it when it happens.

Second, pause and breathe. When you notice the moment of resistance or craving, just pause. Don’t do anything. Just be still for a few moments, and start to breathe a little deeper. Slow your breath, and just allow yourself to feel the craving or resistance. What does it feel like, as a set of physical sensations? Let yourself experience it — no big deal.

Third, take a small action. Slowing down and breathing and experiencing the sensation should loosen up the resistance or craving a little. It’s not a command, but an experience. Now take the tiniest action.

The action could be to get your running shoes on, or open up your writing notebook. It could be to grab a fruit instead of the cookie, or get away from your device instead of getting on social media. Something small but moving you in the direction of your intention.

Little moments like this have the power to change everything, if we can notice them … and then breathe.