By Leo Babauta

I’ve noticed that most of us have a way of relating to other people … where some of their actions feel wrong, or crappy in some way. Like, we might love the other person (or like or respect them) most of the time … but not when they act a certain way.

Sometimes the way they act feels negative, rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful, aggressive, bigoted, etc. And there can be a truth to this view — but underneath, we might notice that we are unable to love this part of the person.

To be clear, I’m not advocating allowing bigoted, aggressive, disrespectful, or abusive behavior. This isn’t about what we allow others to do. It’s about our ability to love people no matter what.

We shut down our hearts. That’s understandable, and so human. But what if we could expand our capacity to love all of a person? What would this open up for us?

I don’t have the answers, but this is something I’m practicing — loving people exactly as they are. Even if they’re acting in ways that generally aren’t mature, respectful, or what have you.

From that loving place, setting boundaries or giving feedback about their behavior becomes a different thing.

What would it open up for you to love someone exactly as they are?