By Leo Babauta

When I get about a third of the way through a project, I often get really discouraged for some reason. Not sure why — maybe it’s not progressing fast enough, maybe I’m struggling with something, maybe I feel lost.

Whatever the reason, whenever I feel discouraged, I feel like giving up. My mind wants to just get out of there — why make myself suffer?

Discouragement is the reason most people get stopped in whatever they’re doing. We feel discouraged, and we give up on a habit, on an exercise plan, on a meaningful project, on learning something.

We feel discouraged, and our minds think, “This is dumb, I should just quit. I can’t do this, it’s not working.”

And we believe these thoughts. We often don’t even notice the discouragement — we just believe the thoughts that arise from discouragement.

I’ve been learning to deal with this discouragement in a way that doesn’t force me to give up. I’m going to share the secret here …

Here’s what works for me.

1. Notice the discouragement. Now, when I’m feeling like giving up, I simply notice that I’m feeling discouraged. It feels like a sinking feeling of deflatedness. It’s not fun, but it’s just a passing feeling of hurtness.
2. Recognize the thoughts, and don’t believe them. From discouragement, I get the thoughts that I should give up. I used to just believe the thoughts, but now I can recognize that they’re protection mechanisms that arise whenever I feel the emotion of discouragement.
3. Don’t make any decisions when I’m discouraged. I have a rule that I can’t make any major decisions when I’m feeling discouraged. So when I feel it, and want to give up … I just tell myself to wait. I can still give up tomorrow, but today I’m just going to sit with the feeling that’s present.
4. Let myself feel the discouragement, and take care of the feeling. I get present to the feeling, which means I just let myself feel it, as a physical sensation in my body. If I just let myself feel the discouragement, it doesn’t last forever. I might do things to care for the feeling as well: go for a walk, give myself compassion or encouragement, take a hot shower, drink some tea, rest.
5. Find a way back to authorship. Feeling victimhood is normal when we’re hurt. After taking care of the hurt, we can ask ourselves, “What can I do to reclaim authorship?” That’s the empowered feeling of, “I can do something about this, and write my story.” Taking a small step, focusing on what’s in your control, making a plan, getting help. These are the kinds of things that help us reclaim authorship.

It’s important to realize that discouragement isn’t a problem — it’s a part of anything meaningful. If you’re feeling it, it just means you’re doing something that’s challenging, and it also means you care.

Let yourself feel discouraged sometimes. Just don’t let it be the end of your story.