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Faith in Humanity: How to Bring People Closer, and Restore Kindness

The other day I was at the DMV here on Guam, renewing my registration for both my vehicles. I got there early, as I hate lines, but realized that I forgot an important document.

Well, the woman at the DMV saved me about an hour’s worth of driving and waiting in line by paying me a kindness … she accepted my registration by interpreting the regulations in a favorable way.

And that kindness just made my day.

It’s amazing what a little kindness can do for you. I drove away from the DMV with a great feeling, with a love for humanity, with a desire to do good for others and pay her kindness forward.

I’ve since paid my debt of gratitude forward in a bunch of ways, but it’s gotten me thinking about kindness and humanity in a broader sense. I have an enormous faith in humanity … but I think we all need to work to bring kindness back to our modern society.

While running with my sister at the local track yesterday, we were talking about kindness and courtesy in our society. My sister, Katrina, has noticed that people are less courteous and more rude to each other nowadays. They don’t say simple things like “Thank you” or open doors for each other or even smile at strangers.

I’m not sure if things on this front have gotten worse in recent years, but if it has, I suspect the change isn’t in people, it’s in the loss of a sense of community. It’s that we don’t come together enough, and are separated from each other in many ways.

The Effect of Anonymity
What happens when people get in cars and then converge on the roads? For some reason, they become rude, inconsiderate jerks (for the most part). But if these same people were to meet face-to-face, and have to spend time together and get to know each other, they would most likely make an attempt at being nice, at the very least.

When we’re in cars, we can barely see the other drivers. We certainly don’t care what they think, and we know they don’t know who we are. Sure, some people are considerate drivers, but for the most part, people are aggressive and uncaring when they’re in their cars.

That’s the effect of anonymity.

When we actually get to know people, we usually act differently. We want to be seen as good in other people’s eyes (the social component of the human animal), and as such, we’ll usually go out of our way to be nice — if we interact with the person on a personal level, not an anonymous level.

Our Divided Society
As my sister Katrina pointed out, our society is changing in a number of ways … all of them in some way dividing us as individuals:

1. Less religious. A much smaller proportion of our population is religious these days, which means fewer people are going to church. This means they don’t get together in the same way they used to, praying, doing community projects, getting to know each other. Some people may think that’s a good thing, as they are against organized religion, but the truth is that there hasn’t been a strong unifying non-secular organization emerge to take the place that church used to take in our community and in our lives.

2. Television and other media. Much more of our time is spent indoors these days, watching TV, playing video games, playing or working on the Internet, watching movies, etc. This means we are separated from each other. We don’t get together as a community anymore, we don’t play outside as much (or if we do, it’s in individual ways for the most part), we don’t meet face-to-face.

3. Car society. In the days of yore, people used to walk on the streets. People would see each other on the streets and say hi, stop and chat. Kids used to play in the streets. But cars have overrun our streets, and they are no longer safe for kids or pedestrians or bikes. We are forced into cars, because there’s no better way to get around (for the most part — in some cities, mass transit is a viable alternative, but not where I live). And when we’re in cars, as I mentioned above, we are separated from our fellow human beings.

Amish Barn Raising
When I think about ways we can come together as a community, to interact in more personal and positive ways, I think of the Amish barn raising tradition. The community comes together to help a family … this is the kind of tradition where people help each other out, get to know each other, and bond.

I think about that, and I wonder if there are ways we could get the community together, helping each other out. There are already some of these kinds of activities, such as community cleanups, Habitat for Humanity, other charity organizations, and the like. These are amazing ways to bring people together, in a common cause of helping others.

I’d like to see more of these kinds of things. I don’t have the answers, but I do know that if we make an effort to organize ways to help each other out, and come together, our communities will be better off. People will get to know each other, and will be kinder to each other.

That’s my hope, at least.

My Faith in Humanity
Call me naive or hopelessly optimistic, but I have a very positive view of humanity. Sure, we see greed and rudeness and abuse and selfishness every day. But I believe that’s more a symptom of the systems in our society, rather than of an evil human race.

I have faith in humanity.

I often leave my car doors unlocked. I carry cash around, just ready for a mugger to take it from me. I give money to people who say they need it, if I have it, not worrying about whether they’ll spend it on food or drugs or whatever.

Recently a reader asked for a way to buy the Zen To Done ebook in some other way than PayPal. I didn’t have a good way to do that, so I emailed him the book and asked him to mail me a check — having faith that he’d do it. Not only did he mail me a check, but he added an extra $40 to the total, with a note that the extra money was for copies he planned to give to friends and for my hard work here at Zen Habits.

That guy made my day. He proved that my faith in humanity is justified. I keep his note in the book I’m reading as a bookmark, so that I see it several times a day.

You guys, the readers of Zen Habits, are incredibly giving, kind, encouraging, supportive, generous.

I meet people every day who are friendly, who do me kindnesses, who lift my spirits.

Humanity is a wonderful thing. People are amazing, beautiful creatures.

What we need are ways to bring out the best in people. To bring them together. To have them help each other, instead of trying to outdo each other.

We need freer systems, instead of the authoritarian ones that oppress us now. We need cooperative systems, instead of the competitive ones we have now. We need unifying systems, instead of the divisive ones that exist today.

We need change. And as Gandhi famously said, “We must be the change we want to see in the world.”

I hope to be that change. I hope you will too.

Pay It Forward, Zen Habits edition
So how can I start this change, in some small way, and have it have little ripples throughout the world?

There are so many ways, but I’m going to take a page from Oprah. She did a “Pay It Forward” episode where she gave 300 audience members $1,000 each, with a camcorder and a challenge to spend the money on charity or individuals in acts of kindness. (See also: Pay It Forward Foundation)

I do not have $1,000 to give away, let alone $300,000. So I ask myself, “Self, what do I have that I can give to people?” And self answered: you have an ebook, and you have blog traffic that you can use to help smaller bloggers. Neither of those are amazing gifts, but they’re small acts of kindness that I’d like to give away.

Here’s how I’ll do that:

1. Free ebooks. The first 30 people who comment on this post, asking for an ebook, will get a free Zen To Done ebook emailed to them. All you have to do, in the comment, is say that you promise to pay the gift forward with some act of kindness to another person (not a relative) in your community. The act can be small or big, and you don’t have to specify what it is. I will trust you to do it.

2. Link to your blog. I can’t link to every blogger in the world, but I would like to link to some who will return the favor with an act of kindness in the real world. All you have to do is write a post on your blog explaining what kind of kindness you’ll do to pay it forward, and link to this post. If your link doesn’t appear in the trackbacks section below (next to the comments), email me to let me know about your post (zenhabits at the gmail). If it appears in the trackbacks, I’ll see it, so don’t email me. In a few days, I will link up to all the bloggers who linked to me in a new post, called “The Bloggers of Kindness”. I can’t guarantee a lot of traffic, but it’s the best I can do.

3. Just be kind. If you aren’t a blogger or don’t need an ebook, you can still participate. If you read and enjoy this blog, consider Zen Habits and the time I spend on it my gift to you … and just pay it forward with an act of kindness in your community, to an individual or charity. And ask those people to pay it forward to others, and to continue that chain of kindness as far as possible.

Here’s Ben Franklin on this concept:

I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you [...] meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.

How will you pay it forward? How can we bring our community closer together? Do you have faith in humanity? Share your thoughts in the comments, or continue the discussion in the Zen Habits forums.

Faith in Humanity: How to Bring People Closer, and Restore Kindness

The other day I was at the DMV here on Guam, renewing my registration for both my vehicles. I got there early, as I hate lines, but realized that I forgot an important document.

Well, the woman at the DMV saved me about an hour’s worth of driving and waiting in line by paying me a kindness … she accepted my registration by interpreting the regulations in a favorable way.

And that kindness just made my day.

It’s amazing what a little kindness can do for you. I drove away from the DMV with a great feeling, with a love for humanity, with a desire to do good for others and pay her kindness forward.

That’s the effect of anonymity.

Our Divided Society
As my sister Katrina pointed out, our society is changing in a number of ways … all of them in some way dividing us as individuals:

That’s my hope, at least.

I have faith in humanity.

That guy made my day. He proved that my faith in humanity is justified. I keep his note in the book I’m reading as a bookmark, so that I see it several times a day.

You guys, the readers of Zen Habits, are incredibly giving, kind, encouraging, supportive, generous.

I meet people every day who are friendly, who do me kindnesses, who lift my spirits.

Humanity is a wonderful thing. People are amazing, beautiful creatures.

What we need are ways to bring out the best in people. To bring them together. To have them help each other, instead of trying to outdo each other.

We need change. And as Gandhi famously said, “We must be the change we want to see in the world.”

I hope to be that change. I hope you will too.

Pay It Forward, Zen Habits edition
So how can I start this change, in some small way, and have it have little ripples throughout the world?

Here’s how I’ll do that:

Here’s Ben Franklin on this concept:

I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you [...] meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.

Spewed into the world on 29 November 2007 in Happiness |
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Brilliant comments (178)

Joe P. Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:30 pm

I’ve just recently discovered your blog and have been delighted with the thoughtful commentary. I look forward to applying this pay it forward concept, and would very much like to receive a copy of your e-book, which sounds interesting. Thanks so much.

Corey Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:32 pm

Hi, Leo. If I’m in the top 30, I would be grateful for a copy of your e-book and promise to pay it forward. This blog post, as are so many others of yours, was inspiring. Thanks for all your hard work!

doug Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:35 pm

am i too late for an ebook? i swear ill do it.

Jen Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:35 pm

I’m a big believer in the pay it forward idea. And sometimes it is so simple to do so - giving a little extra at the toll booth, helping out somene else and so forth.

girl least likely to Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:36 pm

much like joe, i’ve only recently discovered this blog (via a post about your ebook on vegblog). i’ve loved all the posts i’ve read so far, and i also totally agree with your philosophy of doing kind things just because it’s the right thing to do (and it feels nice!). i think this is such a sweet idea, and very generous of you! i’d love a copy of the ebook, and i promise to pay it forward!

Erin Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:39 pm

Great post - in the last several months I’ve been trying to be friendlier and I was pleasantly surprised to see people responding positively. When I go for a jog I smile and say hi to the people I pass and it totally makes my day when they smile back.

Dirceu Pereira Tiegs Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:40 pm

Hello Leo,

Your blog is amazing. Some concepts such as MIT, big rocks and the whole simplicity thing that you advocate really changed my life (for better, of course :-)).

I really like a copy of your e-book; I live in Brazil and I don’t have international credit card nor a paypal account… so I promise you that I will (continue to) be kind to other people.

Thanks a lot for sharing this!

Maggie Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:42 pm

Wonderful post! You’re such an inspiration. I’m already loving my ebook and don’t need another, but would love to take the opportunity to join you all in paying it forward.

Violet Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:44 pm

This was a wonderful read - very uplifting. I’d love a copy of your e-book and would absolutely promise to pay it forward with kindness to someone else.

I’m a fairly new reader of your blog but I really enjoy it - and have passed the URL along on several occasions. I’ll continue to do so with or without an ebook!

Maria Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:45 pm

Leo,

Thanks for zen habits and all of yourself and your wisdom that you share. I have been reading you regularly for several months now. I admit that I am motivated to leave a comment for the first time by your offer of your free e-book, but do promise to pay it forward and will leave you a comment later as to how I did that.

Shalom,

Maria

John Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:49 pm

I love zen habits. It has made me become a much better person.
Oprah’s challenge is interesting. A lot of people wouldn’t give away that $1,000 won by choice

Amy Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:50 pm

Lovely, I’d be happy to take an eBook for a kindness to humanity. Very cool, Leo.

John Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:51 pm

I promise to pay it forward. I would love to help the community shelter or something of the sort.

Chris Em Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:54 pm

Thank you for your articles!! They’ve meant so much. In fact, because of you I’ve begun blogging the adventures of life after 60 after a major move across the country!
I would like to add that I’ve spent the better part of my life ‘paying it forward’. It’s worked well for me and hope your readers get the concept.
Bless your heart — Chris

Andrea Hackbarth Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:54 pm

I am new to your blog as well, but have enjoyed reading it daily. I would love to read the e-book, and promise to pay it forward.

KCCC Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:57 pm

I have been reading your blog (intermittently, as time permits) for a while now, and enjoy it.

I’d love a copy of your e-book if I qualify.

And even if I don’t, I’ll pay a kindness forward just for the pleasure your post gave me this evening.

Warren Says:

November 29th, 2007, 22:58 pm

Thanks for the blog, it’s helping a lot with all facets of my life.

Looking foward to the e-book and thanks for the opportunity!

- Warren

David Gane Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:00 pm

I have enjoyed reading your blog for sometime now and I would like to thank you.

Recently, I attended a big win for a local sports team that took thousands of people into the streets to celebrate. The weather was cold (the wind-chill was -18 C) but the spirit of the people was so good and positive, it made it an amazing experience to be a part of.

It is at moments like this, I still believe in kindness and humanity towards others.

I would very much love to have an e-book if you still have any to offer.

Melissa Thibodeau Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:01 pm

This was a great post. I really enjoyed it. I also believe in paying it forward and do every chance I get. When I do this, my mind doesn’t pay attention to the people around me who don’t but instead opens my eyes to those who do and I am delighted to see more and more people doing random acts of kindness every day…

Keep up the great posts (loved the previous post you wrote about what to do on those days where you just don’t feel productive at all… It only just occurred to me as I read it that on the days where I just couldn’t get excited about checking things off my list it was because I was bored by what I had to do :)

Cheers!

I don’t blog but I do micro blog on http://www.Twitter.com about 3 of my passions: digital marketing, volunteering and protecting the environment.

jay Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:02 pm

Love the blog, keep up the great work. I have yet to see a post not worth reading.

I’d be happy to pay it forward. Please send me an e-book if I’m in the top 30.

I’ve had a rough time with my neighbors recently and this should prove to be challenging and beneficial to me. Maybe I can make a bad situation into a better one.

Kevin X Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:04 pm

Leo you seem to inspire me more and more every day with your posts. I have been reading your posts for a while now and I would love to get a free eBook. You are really proving how kindness can make someone’s day so much better.

Today’s post reaches into the core of humanity in general and really makes people reconsider how we have lost the simple value of ‘kindness’. To think that in today’s advanced society how kindness is so rare to find. The Pay It Forward Campaign, the Free Hug Campaign, and every other random act of kindness in between are all examples of humankind coming together for a simple cause of ‘kindness’. I have already set goals for myself to commit to random acts of kindness at least once a week (preferably more) and will do my best.

Yanik Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:04 pm

Hi Leo,

I had a really crummy day today but reading your post lifted my spirits! Thanks!

I’d really appreciate a copy of your e-book and I’ll happily pay it forward.

Sending positive thoughts and energy to you and yours.

Peace
Yanik

esme Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:06 pm

I am a new reader and love your blog and your philosophy. If I qualify for an ebook, I promise to Pay it Forward (actually, even if I don’t quality….)

Dee Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:06 pm

Hi Leo,

I love your blog and would appreciate a copy of the ebook. I will definitely pass on the gift.

Thank you for the opportunity!

-Dee

jill Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:08 pm

I would love your e- book. I have been lurking awhile and I’m trying the habit changing techniques.I live in Los angeles and talk about rude. but I will be paying it forward with kindness, thank you for your wonderful blog keep up the good work.
jill

James Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:09 pm

Hi Leo,

I’d love a copy of the ebook. And I’ll definitely pass on a good favor to someone else–it’s something I try to do when I can anyway. (But who doesn’t need another reminder now and then?)

Kih Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:10 pm

heh … just discover your blog this week … and think about charity a lot lately … would be nice to get a copy of your ebook … and i will pay it forward by doing some nice thing to some nice people in Kuching. Thank you.

Ben Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:12 pm

I love your blog, and I would love a copy of the book. Thanks!

sonia Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:15 pm

I read your blog and really enjoy it. if it isn’t too late, i’d love a copy of your ebook and i’ll definitely try to spread a little more kindness in the world.

Dave Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:15 pm

Whether I make it in under 30 or not, doesn’t matter. Your blog and your writing have grown and I look forward to reading with each post. Keep up the good work and your wonderful faith (in us all).

Carole Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:16 pm

Fabulous idea. Would absolutely be thrilled with a copy of the e-book.

Will think about a creative yet impactful way to pay it forward.

Peace, love and chocolate

Carole

Scott Miller Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:16 pm

I promise to “pay it forward”, Leo!
I would love a copy of the e-book. I’m a huge fan of your writing. Thanks!
Scott M
Texas, USA

Mario Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:18 pm

I would certainly learn even more with a copy of your ebook!

Albert | UrbanMonk.Net Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:19 pm

Hey Leo, I’m hopefully within the first 30, but I don’t need the ebook. I just want to say thank you for your kind offer though.

I’ll definitely pass the favour onwards. In fact kindness and compassion is something that I’ve been writing on in my own blog after a lot of thought. How do we become kind, and is it actually dangerous to become kind, as in - we make it worse?

Would love to know what you think:

First of a series: http://www.urbanmonk.net/179/compassion-and-finding-the-servant-heart/

Cheers,
Albert

Amy Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:19 pm

I so agree that the world is becoming a less friendly place. I try to do small things that will make someone else’s day a little better…buying coffee at McDonalds for the guy behind me, letting someone with only a handful of groceries go before me and my full cart… It’s always nice to see them smile and I hope they will in turn pay it forward. I too would love a copy of your ebook and look forward to reading it. Thanks you. Amy

Angie Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:20 pm

Your post is such an inspiration. I love to have a copy of your ebook and to pay it forward. Thanks!

Janna Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:21 pm

Hello! First of all, you live on Guam? That’s awesome! I was there on a school trip once when I was an exchange student over in Japan (boy, did I look funny, being a blonde white girl with a huge group of Japanese tourists…) and it is absolutely gorgeous! :)

Second, I would be most grateful if you linked to my blog (http://th1nk-p1nk.blogspot.com). I promise to begin paying people more compliments as part of my “paying it forward”. I’ve found that a simple compliment, even about something as simple as the pair of shoes I threw on that day, can really cheer me up. So, I hope to do that for more people. Spreading the happiness, you know?

Anyway, thank you so much for this inspirational post! Though I don’t agree with *everything* (i.e. the church thing, being that I’m an atheist, haha) I do like to see such optimism in others. It makes me more optimistic that way.

Keep doing what you’re doing, because you do an excellent job touching the lives of many readers every day,
Janna

Zack Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:22 pm

I love receiving inspiration in every one of your posts. I would love a copy of your ebook and promise to ‘pay it forward’

Leo Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:25 pm

Wow, what a wonderful group of people you all are! Thanks for the encouragement and positive comments. This is why I love blogging!

Everyone above this comment who asked for an ebook will get one. I’d like to give away more, but it would take up too much of my time … sorry to everybody else!

But even if you don’t get the free ebook, please consider paying it forward anyway.

A reminder: when you pay it forward to someone, ask that they pay it forward to someone else, and that they ask that person to pay it forward, indefinitely. This way, your act of kindness will have the maximum impact!

Becca Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:30 pm

Ohhh, I just missed it. :( I will definitely pay something forward, though. :)

Kevin X Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:30 pm

Thank you very much Leo and that extra kindness I noticed of beyond the 30-limit you had. It really is always those little things in life that make the human heart just melt in happiness. I promise I really will pay it forward and they will do it too and again and again!

Ibrahim Husain Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:47 pm

Hey Leo,

I just wanted to thank you for what you do every day. I read your blog every day, and I have to say, I read a lot of self development blogs, but somehow your writing style just gets through to me better. I have recently purchased the URL zencollegelife.com with the plan of putting many of these same ideas to practical use for the everyday college student. I am still working out the wordpress kinks, but I will have it up by January 1, 2008.

Anyways, thanks for everything you do! I will definitely pay it forward!

OprahsThings.com Says:

November 29th, 2007, 23:54 pm

This is a great article and I can’t wait to share it to my readers on my blog. I will add it this weekend! Thanks for the inspiration! Keep it up!

Steve French Says:

November 30th, 2007, 0:02 am

Well e-book or not, I love this post! Way to go Leo!

I’m going to find a way to pay-it-forward too!

Have a great day!

Amy Says:

November 30th, 2007, 0:23 am

I’ve already purchased a copy of Zen to Done and have focused on the first two steps. My small notebook is always with me and I’m getting a few key things done early in the day. Excellent, easy to implement ideas!

I’ll post something in my blog about paying it forward and link back!

Amy

Jesse Johnston Says:

November 30th, 2007, 0:28 am

Keep up the great work. Your blog is an inspiration in a world sorely lacking it. I find it very calming and centering. When I’m obsessing about some work problem or relationship issue, suddenly there’s a zen habits entry that makes me step back and realize what’s really important.

ebook or not, your entry today is just a great reminder of the value of extending kindness. No need to receive it before giving it either!

Thanks for your hard work.

Cheers,
Jesse

Mitch Says:

November 30th, 2007, 0:32 am

Hello there, same as Steve French, haven’t read gtd or ztd (yet) but I was very inspired by this post of you. (Yet Again)

I think the least habit I can implement is to generally smile at strangers, not that it could give them a nice day, but also it’ll be easier for me to make new contacts.

Btw. I don’t know how to thank you for this Blog. I’m reading your Feed almost from the very beginning, and it helped me changing my life a lot. Let’s say I got with your help from a C Student in life to an almost straight A. I especially like your 30-Days Challenge and getting up early. (Its now 5.31 in Germany)

Have a nice day everyone, cheers

brip blap Says:

November 30th, 2007, 0:33 am

Great post, great concept. I’m a longtime lurker on the site and I’m finally driven to comment on this post. I love the concept and while it’s a struggle sometimes to act kind in the face of so much negativity on a daily basis, I’m going to give it my best shot based on your inspiration. Thanks Leo.

t (click to support AIDS) Says:

November 30th, 2007, 0:35 am

A fantastic idea Leo! The question of how to nudge the world has been on my mind for ages, and here you are doing it.

Is anyone looking for a way to pay forwards? I used to run a fansite and we set up a fundraiser some time ago for Broadway Cares, an AIDS charity. Sadly we’re still far from the target and the bar hasn’t risen for sooo long. Would really give us some hope if you could spare a buck or twenty! http://support.broadwaycares.org/goto/jenniferehle

Miss Gisele B. Says:

November 30th, 2007, 1:15 am

WOW Leo!

You surely know how to get people to stop what they are doing, get to your blog, read your post and think of how your posts relates to their own lives.

I always check your blog before turning off my computer and usually wake up in the morning with the post in my head. Many of your posts have really had an incredibly positive impact on how I do things.

This is just another example of how much impact your voice has.

I’m sorry I’m not part of the first 30 people who will get your free e-book offer.

Best of luck to all those who did win!

As for your concept (or Oprah’s concept) of paying it forward…I think it is important.

It’s important to look around us and see how we can use what we have right now at our disposal to help others around us.

Since starting my publishing business, I’ve had to seriously cut back on my donations. I used to support a number of charitable organisations that support people who need food and shelter. One of my dearest charity with my public library because it offers free books and computer stations to people who cannot afford books and people who can not purchase a computer.

I’m had to stop my donation, but my new way of paying it forward is to take all my old books and magazines to the library near my home. They usually sell the donation to raise money to support other programs they organize.

It’s really a very small gesture compared to what I used to do…but it’s still makes me feel great.

I have other plans to pay it forward in a much more significant way and I’m expecting that my business will finance a charitable organization that will have for objective to help women in Africa with a serious problem. I will not go in details, but the project is already a “word document” on my computer…which means it’s only a question of time before this new project comes to life.

Once again Leo, thank you so much for bringing so many people from so many different countries together thanks to your way of seeing and questioning our world.

Gisele B.

Scott Stawarz Says:

November 30th, 2007, 1:16 am

As an act of kindness toward pay it forward to Leo, I recommend we all email Oprah with ways zenhabits.net and the life-hack blogger web movement has positively impacted our individual lives.

Great idea on the pay it forward. I’ve seen some recent TV commercials demonstrate this too. Although, it must not have been too catchy, because I can not recall the brand.

http://www.oprah.com/email/reach/email_reach_fromu.jhtml

P.S. I’d love for you to link to my site with simple weight loss as the anchor text, but of course, it’s not necessary. I’ve already submitted my suggestion to Oprah.

Brian F Says:

November 30th, 2007, 1:16 am

Great post Leo! I had an epiphany several years ago that our faith community wasn’t doing enough to reach out to our homeless population in S. Florida. We started giving away bag lunches and now we operate in four shelters. We’ve served over 20,000 meals in the past couple years. Since we’ve brought the homeless into our circles, it’s changed the “sophisticated” crowd to see how great these people really are that don’t have a place to live. Thanks for sharing your stories and I hope all of us will look at others and see them as we see ourselves, showing kindness with no duty of return. Thanks again for the refresher. :)

Eden Says:

November 30th, 2007, 1:28 am

I’m a new reader of your blog, but I like what I see so far. I would love a copy of the e-book! Thank you so much.

chris jefferies Says:

November 30th, 2007, 1:58 am

I know I’m too late for the ebook, but the idea that an act of kindness can spawn a snowball of kind acts is enough incentive for me! Thank you for the wonderful reading.

Thomas Says:

November 30th, 2007, 2:07 am

#58 or so, but anyway :)

It is related to today’s world. Some time before, there was some meaning of life (grow a tree, build a house, get a son,…), but that’s gone.
Modern world is made in such way, that common man has to work from dawn to dusk - people (managers) scream you, you’re constantly under stress,… and all that only because of few green papers, which you - unforunately - need. And you need plenty of them, just to survive.
It is filled with too much stress and no real meaning behind it.
It is world, where evil people wins, and good get’s nothing than suffering.
Also Church is not what it used to be - look’s like it openly joined those money and power-hunting groups.
There’re still good people that you can find between churchmans and believers, but those seems to disappear - and no wonder, this world is not for good people.
I see way for myself in managing money (no, you can’t give them up there, as you can’t give up air) in such way, that I won’t need to care about them - and where this happens, and I will by 50-60 by that time, I could finaly look for meaning of life and do thinks I really like - and be good.

To answer topic - no, I do no longer believe in humanity - we deserve to die out as mankind, and make place for another evolution (or God’s - up to you) creation to take it’s chance, for behaviour we announce as good (consumer society)

Thomas Says:

November 30th, 2007, 2:14 am

Re: Leo, November 29th, 2007, 23:25 pm

Idea is, that you pay forward to three other people - if it works, you get snowball :)

zero255zero Says:

November 30th, 2007, 2:23 am

So true about the car society.

Susan Bernard Says:

November 30th, 2007, 2:23 am

I, too, believe in random acts of kindness. For 18 months, accompanied by a 90-year-old resident on the harmonica, I played the Autoharp for the people at my mother’s assisted living facility. My mother died on October 26th, and I’m too sad these days to play. But as soon as I feel like I can play again–without crying–I plan to return and share my music as a gift.

Tamlyn Says:

November 30th, 2007, 2:31 am

WOW what a great post, Leo. With this world evolving, and the great place the social networks online are playing in that, it is so wonderful to pay it forward to people you only know thanks to bits and bytes, but can care for as much as you care for your “real life” family and friends.

I am going to pay it forward, even though I was too late for the free ebook (teaches me to live in central european time *giggles*), but kudo’s to you for writing this. I am glad I found this blog

Robin Says:

November 30th, 2007, 3:05 am

Re anonymity and kindness. I’ve always been amazed at how absolutely horrible people can get on the internet. It’s the “jerk driver” phenomenon to the nth degree. You see it in forums, comments… People are rude and cruel in a way that would be shocking without the digital veil. It leaves everyone aprehensive they’ll get flamed for the most minor transgressions. I don’t get it.

Elishares Says:

November 30th, 2007, 3:20 am

Sharing is caring… “I promise to pay the gift forward with some act of kindness to another person (not a relative) in my community”. I would also like to have your e-book. Thank you.

Bill Says:

November 30th, 2007, 3:28 am

I have been a zenhabits reader for a few months now and had been considering getting the ZTD ebook for awhile– I may have been too late to get one for free today (I placed my order just a moment ago), but I’m glad to see such a positive topic and message in this post, and I’m glad that I subscribe to your feed.

Jamin Says:

November 30th, 2007, 3:57 am

I know I’m too late for the ebook, but I just wanted to say I really appreciated the post. I’ll do an act of kindness anyway, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I want to do and it was entirely inspired by this post.

Russ Says:

November 30th, 2007, 4:05 am

It makes me feel good to see all these people who actually agree with what was just said. I may not see much kindness around me, even though I do my best to be courteous in driving (I feel horrible if I accidently forget to turn off my brights on someone), and in life in general, but it is nice to see that other people at least feel the same way. Juse seeing this, I have a greater hope for society rather than what I see on other websites, in the news, and in everyday life. Thank you, Leo and readers.

Angela (Cottage Magpie) Says:

November 30th, 2007, 4:27 am

I know I’m not within the fist 30 commenters, but I hope you’ll consider me for a free e-book anyway. I have it on my wish list for Christmas because I want to use the information in it to help simplify and organize my life so that I can make room in my life to devote some time to helping make/find/raisE/acquire teddy bears to donate to the police, which they give to children in traumatic situations like domestic violence where they often can’t remove the child from the situation. Sincerely,
~Angela

rn-elizabeth Says:

November 30th, 2007, 4:40 am

I posted what random acts of kindness I’ve done, have been granted to me and what I will do. Heck I’ll do them anyway, even if you don’t give me your book.
~elizabeth

Sascha Says:

November 30th, 2007, 4:50 am

I love the concept of Pay it Forward. I’d love a copy of your ebook, but I think PIF is the way to go even without it.

I’m moving house soon, and your site has helped me get myself organised enough that it’s no longer a huge, daunting task. Thank you so much!

Ivan Says:

November 30th, 2007, 5:03 am

Great post, Leo! Thank you for the inspiration!
I believe that even - or especially - small things can change the world. Perhaps not the big wide world, but my world and my attitude. We just have to do it! So I wrote a posting (in German) in my blog with 7 ideas to change yourself and your world. In this posting I also commit myself to do three things today:
- I take time to listen really to 2 persons and to try to understand them fully.
- I will give a smile to 5 strangers.
- This evening I will thank my god for everything he gives me. I just want to be grateful.

These are small steps but one has to take them!

Diane B Says:

November 30th, 2007, 5:14 am

Ohmigosh!! I obviously didn’t come close to being in the running for your book, however, your thoughts are an inspiration and I just wanted to let you know.

I also have noticed our seemingly self-imposed segregations. The catalysts you noted in your article are slowly forcing each and every one of us into our own personally insulated “bubble”.

PIF is a lovely concept. I personally try to a least reach out and “touch” another person outside my circle every day. It is small things: holding a door, looking someone in the eye and smiling, whatever…it makes a difference.

And the best part of it all is that my teeny PIF comes directly back to me because it makes me feel better, too. Thank you for the encouragement.

Micah Rich Says:

November 30th, 2007, 5:38 am

Dear Leo,

I just recently started reading your blog, and I think it’s ironic that I find this post so soon after I start. I’m a design student, and we’re all required to do a senior thesis in our last year here. My thoughts have been going in this exact direction for a long time now, and so I gathered two of my colleagues together to see how we could make our thesis project an agent of change, to make our world a better place.

This is exactly what we’re working on doing, and I absolutely love that I’m constantly finding people who think these wonderful, beautiful thoughts. At the moment, we’re really just starting to organize our thoughts, and while we have big plans to help our fellow students and change the world, we still have to convince our teachers and classmates that our idea is a good one before we can start using it to do something. I’ve put a link to our future website at the bottom, and even though right now it’s just a link to an email address, in the future I hope that at the very least, we’ll have a blog documenting ideas and happenings that are in this vein.

I’m really glad that I’ve found some likeminded people, and maybe we can pull some inspiration and ideas from you and your readers.

Love,
Micah
thepositiveengine.com

Sean Says:

November 30th, 2007, 5:42 am

I promise to pay the gift forward with some act of kindness to another person in my community.

I will ask for the ebook in the chance that it will be sent. I can always use knowledge and growth in my life.

Thank you for your blog

Alfredo Says:

November 30th, 2007, 6:55 am

Leo,

I’d like to get a copy of your book, if possible.
Even if I don’t, I’ll do my part to make someone’s day a little better today, by doing some extra act of kindness, because I try every day to help others, as life is not easy, and even a smile is a great reward for me.
BTW, I found out about your site a couple of months ago, and I’ve been a fan since then.

Alex Ion Says:

November 30th, 2007, 7:17 am

First thing I did after reading this article was to submit it to StumbleUpon so that other can see and benefit.

Not sure if I’m in the first30 to get an ebook, but it was great to read it.

Thanks Leo.

elizabeth Says:

November 30th, 2007, 7:31 am

Mr., Babauta,
It’s 5:30 in the morning here. I’ve had my morning shower and done a short t’ai chi form. Now I’m drinking a cup of decaf, checking my email, and reading your blog. I leave in half an hour to go to work as an elementary school teacher. I see from the post that I’ll be comment #77. I will and do pay-it-forward every day, no rewards. Here’s a little pay-it-backwards…thank you for writing your uplifting blog.

Jefri Says:

November 30th, 2007, 7:53 am

Hi, Im jefri and im im in the top 30 i would like an ebook.

Mark Says:

November 30th, 2007, 8:30 am

Leo ~

Just wanted to mention, don’t forget paying it forward towards ALL CREATURES.

We just rescued four puppies and an older female dog here on our small island.

All were in terrible shape and within the past week they have been sent to the US to be adopted through Roses Rescue.

Mark

Jeniffer Says:

November 30th, 2007, 8:33 am

Leo;
Another great post, and a truly wonderful idea. Let’s keep this one going around.
Do some act of kindness today and every day.
I truly believe this will make our world a better place, and make us all nicer people.

Dan L Says:

November 30th, 2007, 8:56 am

I guess I’m way too late on the ebook, huh? Anyway Leo, I truly do appreciate your articles and wish more people like you existed; the world would be a better place.

I certainly will do something to pay it forward–I’ve been meaning to help out at a local food kitchen for some time now and this may just be the extra push I need to get over there and do it.

Thank you for these articles.

Dan

Laur Says:

November 30th, 2007, 9:14 am

I’d just like to thank you for the great post. My parents brought me up believing that there is good in each and every one of us, and I try to live my life accordingly.

As for random acts of kindness, I don’t know… kind is something you are, not something you do. If you’re kind, you’ll do acts of kindess maybe daily, and you won’t notice, because it’s in your nature - certainly you won’t brag about it to your friends or whatnot. Accepting this simple truth and trying to be just kind towards your fellow men might do more good long-term than donating 100 bucks towards fighting poverty in Africa today and then forgetting the whole thing.

Cheers.

Dominic Says:

November 30th, 2007, 9:29 am

Good post, and one that surely deserves some consideration these days. Well, any days I suppose, but these days stand out because they’re the days in which I’m living.
I’d just like to make a comment about the idea of “Pay it Forward”. I’ve been hearing a resurgence of this idea this week, but it seems like most people using the phrase seem to think that it originated either with Oprah or Mimi Leder’s movie, without realizing that the origin of the concept of “Pay it Forward” predated either of those by several decades with legendary science fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein.
I first discovered and have since been practicing “pay it forward” since the mid 80s when I first read Heinlein’s work. Wikipedia tells us that Heinlein coined the phrase in 1951 in his book “Between Planets”. (To be fair, apparently Ben Franklin practiced something like this, but never put the name to it).
Not only did Heinlein write about “Pay it Forward”, but he practiced it, as he would often make gifts of money or other types of support to struggling young writers with instructions for them to pay it forward when they could.
Heinlein’s work was visionary not only for its futurist perspective, but also for its sense of life and sociological impact. So, since this would have been hi 100th year if he yet lived, I think it’s important to recognize his contribution to our language and thinking.

Thanks for the blog.

Tim Says:

November 30th, 2007, 9:33 am

Recently a person driving a truck saw a small child walking and did not stop to help for fear that he would be labeled a child molester. It did not turn out well for the child.

A short while ago, a woman where I work changed her appearance. I would have told her how nice it makes her look but comments (even compliments) can be misconstrued.

We do need random acts of kindness and I realize that there are a number of bad things that happen in this world but until we can change the litigious nature of our society, I am afraid that we are stuck in our current environment.

Leo, I enjoy your commentary but maybe you can explore this in a future post. All great philosophies tell you to change yourself and that will change the world around us but we still see all of the problems mentioned in the above posts. Are we just seeing the “bad” because it is “news” or is our intolerance really on the rise?

Just a random thought.

--Deb Says:

November 30th, 2007, 9:38 am

Great post. It’s amazing how far a little kindness goes, isn’t it? And, the bit about the cars? So true. In fact, I wrote about that last month, if you’re interested:

http://punctualityrules.com/2007/10/18/were-all-travelling-together/

Amit Says:

November 30th, 2007, 9:45 am

Darn ! i guess i missed the e book …. I do not have enough money to buy leo’s book right now …I come from a third world country…. But one day i hope to buy it ….. Hope the price remains the same…. i am saving for it …

Anyway, This doesn’t stop me from promising leo that i’ll PF all the good things happening to me…. I promise to make the world around me a better and happier place…..

I have faith in humanity….

Joshua Says:

November 30th, 2007, 9:47 am

Some people still do the old-fashioned barn raisings–just in a different way. In my church family, we get together to put a new roof onto one another’s house whenever one is needed. It’s generally a fun Saturday job where we all work together and save the homeowner some serious money.

I’d love to have a copy of ZTD, too!

christyann Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:07 am

I’d love a copy of your ebook….I go out of my way to be nice to people that don’t look happy…I will start with the small stuff like a smile the hello it may take a while before they even smile back…before you know it they are talking to me…my neighbors on either side of me are examaples..it took 3 years before they actually come and talk but little things like removing the snow from their sidewalk or or asking if they needed help doing something finally let them see I didn’t want anything from them just to be friendly…I also do the simple stuff like open doors help people all the time etc…I love to do it too..

Renato Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:08 am

Your post is Godsend. Keep up the good work. You just gave me today another good reason to keep on believing in humanity. I live in Venezuela, and we are a divided nation due to political opinions. Now you can see families, neighbors and friends divided by their political beliefs. This post has helped me realize we need to start a change and come all together, as it used to be.
Thanks!

Pete Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:10 am

Nice post and great Ben Franklin quote.

Modern civilization has been designed to bring people down. Divide and conquer. Manipulate people by their vices. Remove their belief in themselves and those around them. Unfortunately we’re painfully malleable.

But do I have faith in humanity? Yes I certainly do.

James Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:17 am

Probably too late to the game as I’ve been busy tending to my sick wife (just a short bought of Bronchitis) and taking care of the kiddos…but, I’d absolutely love a copy of your ebook.

Ram Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:18 am

Hey Leo,

Great post, you’ve been a great encouragement to me in many ways and I’d like keep this(post) in mind and try to pay it forward and help the world around me. I do beleive in Humanity.

Thanks.

Katie Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:26 am

This was one of the most inspiring posts I’ve read in a long time, and it touches on something I’ve been struggling to overcome in my own life.

Thank you.

Rae Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:34 am

That was a great blog. Quite a few years ago, someone I didn’t really know very well gave me $100 (quite a lot of money then) that I needed for a trip. He wasn’t particularly well to do and I needed the money for a camping trip, not for food or something urgent. But he just gave it to me, no strings, and I’ve paid it forward on several occasions. It’s good for the universe, you get what you give.

Chris Em, send me your blog. I’m (ahem) over 60 and would like to follow your adventures.

Leigh Ann Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:35 am

I’m noticing more people are for less organized religion. My study group tends to go by what the bible says, not what the church officials say. and we question when they are different. We have a little group of people from literally all walks of life (two ex-felons, one pastor, one pastor in training, one liberal intellectual, one conservative, etc) and we put aside our differences and connect with each other and study God’s word and how we can affect society in a positive way.

Looks like I’m too late for the e-book, but I do plan on buying it.

britne Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:38 am

Wow, wonderful post. I feel truly inspired to go out and just be kinder to everyone. That Gandhi quote is my new motto for life.

I know I’m too late for the ebook (and have an not-very-complete-kinda-still-in-progress blog, so linking is no good), but I wanted to express my thanks to you for this post. You’ve made me look at things in my life a bit differently.

eoj Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:47 am

I think there’s a difference between faith and blindness. While I agree with most of what you say, I do think that giving money to panhandlers is likely more on the blind than the faith end of the scale. You don’t want your “help” to people to be enabling their problems. I prefer to offer them food directly. Or recently, I had some wool socks I wasn’t using that made a guy in my neighbourhood really happy. It must be cold to sit out in the winter and I know that the socks are more likely to make a positive difference whereas money might well make a negative difference.

barbara Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:48 am

Eventually, I am going to get your book. Winter break is coming and I will have 10 days of time off.

Just wanted to let you know a bit more about “pay it forward”

From wikipedia:
The term “pay it forward” was coined, or at least popularized, by Robert A. Heinlein in his book Between Planets, published in 1951:

The banker reached into the folds of his gown, pulled out a single credit note. “But eat first — a full belly steadies the judgment. Do me the honor of accepting this as our welcome to the newcomer.”
His pride said no; his stomach said YES! Don took it and said, “Uh, thanks! That’s awfully kind of you. I’ll pay it back, first chance.”
“Instead, pay it forward to some other brother who needs it.”

Mari Lynn Mann Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:48 am

How about extending your offer of 30 books to 100, since I’m number 94? :)

I haven’t read all the comments so I don’t know if anyone else has said this but the pay it forward concept was written about beautifully by Lloyd C. Douglas in his book Magnificent Obssession. I recommend it to anyone interested in this idea.
BTW, great post too.
Mari

Alex Shalman Says:

November 30th, 2007, 10:57 am

Leo… you give me goose bumps… what an awesome guy!

You bring up great points about community. I see success in community to be much like success in relationships; it has a lot to do with mutual goals that unify the people involved.

The problem with the world as a community is the anonymity that you mentioned in your post. Humans generally cannot cope with such a large number of people, by viewing them as close interpersonal relationships. I read somewhere that in business models, the optimal number of employees in order to reach maximum interpersonal relationships and efficiency is 150 people.

If people could be divided into many of such like minded communities, with similar goals towards humanity and environment, than anonymity, as a factor in world apathy could be eliminated.

When people can take pride in their own communities, and share a sense of belonging, than they will be more inclined to perform acts of kindness, and good deeds, in the name of their community.

Sure, it would be great if everyone performed acts of kindness and compassion just because. But just because isn’t happening as a world wide collective, and as you mentioned, our systems have a lot to do with how we interact. So why now set up systems that work, one person, one small community, at a time.

In the world I envision, the competition between communities would be about who can clean up a park faster, who can plant more trees, or who can be less wasteful. Friendly inter community rivalry could be the vehicle to a better world.

Leigh Says:

November 30th, 2007, 11:06 am

It is clear to me that a society with an ethic of volunteerism is much the richer. Every time a volunteer takes a meal to an elderly citizen through “Meals on Wheels”, serves in a local volunteer fire brigade (my home is Australia, where bushfires are a reality of summer life), paints the local church or mosque, or sweeps the neighbour’s front path they are paying forward a debt to society. Every volunteer also experiences the amazing unexpected benefits of giving your time and talents to individuals or the community.

I even hold that local groups of musicians sharing their music in pubs, actors, dancers and comedians sharing their talent in repertory societies, songwriters singing in folk clubs and artists sharing their skills are all paying forward their debt to society. Regardless of whether they are being paid for their talents or not, they are gifting their talents for the building of culture, sharing of stories, the giving of beauty and a sense of abundance.

Whatever you do well, whatever you have an abundance of (especially time), find a way to give some of it for the benefit of the broader community. After all, we are who we are through the legacy of our forebears, from all cultures throughout the world. We can’t thank previous generations in a personal way but we can play our part in making a difference for following generations.

Elizabeth Says:

November 30th, 2007, 11:08 am

I just wanted to add my voice that the idea of giving copies of your book as an inspiration for people to do their own pay it forward is brilliant. Unfortunately, I was a little behind in my google reader reading, so I’m not in the set that will get a copy of the book (it’ll stay on my wish list thought!), but just the idea has got me thinking of things I can do and so I know that your actions have led to more than just 30 people being more active members of the world in which we live.

mark Says:

November 30th, 2007, 11:12 am

too late for the book, thats cool, but i do like this idea and i will pay forward your good deeds for others anyways. sometimes the simplest act of kindness or generosity pays the biggest dividends. i feel better already, thank you.

Danielle Says:

November 30th, 2007, 11:42 am

I read with great interest about your trip to the DMV and the kindness shown to you. Here in NY we liken a trip to the DMV with being punished for something. I have worked with people for all of my adult career. I always try to “pay it forward” and live by the Golden Rule.

I was speaking to some of my sons’ friends (teenagers) and they had never heard of the Golden Rule. That makes me sad. I strive to teach my sons to be good human beings on the planet. They say please and thank you and yes, hold the doors for strangers.

Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts and have a community discussion on a topic that is so basic but not thought of.

Mark Says:

November 30th, 2007, 11:48 am

Leo ~ also thought I would let you know that I just linked to this pay if forward post in an article I just uploaded entitled “5 Tips For a Better Life Starting Today Based on Subsistence Living.”

ponygal Says:

November 30th, 2007, 11:55 am

Thanks Leo, for reminding each of us that kindness and goodness can truly make a positive difference in someone else’s day. Paying it forward is something I’ve always thought made such good sense… some people call it karma…

Uplifting post - and great stuff to remember this time of year when things can get a little nuts!

Phoenix Says:

November 30th, 2007, 12:01 pm

Well, too late to get an ebook I see, heh, but that’s life.
I’ve been trying to do the same thing in chicago and appleton WI recently (Chicago being my home and Appleton where I go to college) and it really does make the world seem kinder, warmer; it reminds us that people are good caring individuals that never really get to interact with each other in meaningful ways anymore, but that when they do you can really see something amazing
Leo, I’m too late to get the ebook but I also have an aversion to paypal; what other methods do you accept?

Felix Says:

November 30th, 2007, 12:01 pm

An inspiring post. I will not only extend my kindness to more person, I will also share your post to other people in our community.

You had just started such a great deal of action in changing humanity in the world. Thank you.

Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Says:

November 30th, 2007, 12:05 pm

It really is amazing how small acts of kindness make such a huge difference! I was in quite a foul mood on the elliptical machine and the gym gym this afternoon when a stranger in his car waved up at me. And so I waved back. Who knew something so simple could make me smile! There’s definitely no excuse for the rest of us.

Kathleen Trisdale Says:

November 30th, 2007, 12:18 pm

I’d love to participate but I will never meet the first 30 or first 130 because I live on the West Coast, and all those back east have the jump on me. That makes me sad because I am a true believer in doing what I can, when I can, for whomever I can with regard to loving kindness, and I look forward to the upcoming shopping season to put my beliefs and actions to work by treating pushy, hurried, panicked shoppers with all the love they deserve as they are cherished children of the universe. It’s the best time as I am exposed to many more people than any other time of the year (I still do it year round of course.) I am the change I wish to see in the world, and I hope that you would consider an exception to your first x number of people rule in this case. I will put a link on my blogs regardless.

Namaste
Kathy Trisdale

t Says:

November 30th, 2007, 12:37 pm

I was just thinking about the paradox of technology. In the post there’s focus on how video games and computers are a barrier to face-to-face interaction, but look how this blog has brought us together! Our communities have different borders nowadays.

The internet gives me great hope. I’m constantly amazed at what people do for strangers, for free. Wikipedia for example is a Utopian idea. Open source programs, blog action days, charity fundraising. So many people giving away their knowledge and skills.

Lance Says:

November 30th, 2007, 12:41 pm

Leo,

I just wanted to say say thank you for this great post. With all the hate and animosity in the world everyone needs to read this! People just aren’t as friendly as they use to be, and I especially see this being on a college campus in Saginaw, MI.

Last December I was at the post office and there was an elderly man walking to his car while I was. I said to him from across the small parking lot, “Have a Merry Christmas Sir.” He looked floored that a young person would take the time to do such a thing. He whole heartedly thanked me and told me the same.

It’s the things like this we need to be aware of in all our lives. The smallest acts of kindness can mean the most to unexpecting individuals.

Courtney Says:

November 30th, 2007, 13:02 pm

Leo - I stumbled upon your blog a few months back and it has become my morning ritual over my daily java. Your posts put a light in my day and I often share them with dear friends and beloved family members. Regardless if I qualify for the top 30 posters - I think this post is my favorite yet. I completely agree with the pay it forward concept. Funny enough in a recent “junk exchange” with my girlfriends this past Wednesday, that movie found its way into my new bag of goodies.

thanks for all you do - each and everyday.

namaste,

courtney

Anne Says:

November 30th, 2007, 13:47 pm

What a timely post - as people start to rush about preparing for a holiday that is based on kindness to strangers (no room at the inn, pregnant woman & all). Many times people get short and are already upset at this time of year and I am glad that you had the inspiration to remind us all what a little kindness can do.

Eintsein’s Quote of the Day was also applicable to this topic:
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

I have the attitude, like you, that people are basically good and that modern society contributes greatly to our sense of isolation which permits more rudeness.

It seems to me that people are more rude now than when I was young, but how many of us are as rude to children as we are to adults? On Monday, I will write about my smile and wave campaign here in Ashalnd City and I will be happy to include a link to this post.

Thank you and have a terrific weekend.

stacey Says:

November 30th, 2007, 14:57 pm

Leo,

Thanks, as always, for the great post.

And thanks for offering to post other “pay it forward” blogs… I would love to get the word out to as many people in my community about how I pay it forward. I am a family photographer in Saint Louis and as part of my business, I offer free photo shoots and photos to families of soldiers who are about to be deployed. Hopefully a litte exposure on your site will get the message out to even more families who are facing this life-changing event!

Keep up the great work — I enjoy reading each and every post that you share.

staceycox.typepad.com

warmest,
stacey

Charlotte Says:

November 30th, 2007, 15:04 pm

I was just thinking about this this morning — I live in a small town, and one of the joys of my small town is that people still chat with one another. I went to pay my water bill, and the woman behind the drive-thru window chatted for a minute, and had biscuits for my dogs. Simple pleasant human communication makes things so much more pleasant — we say hello on the street, often raise a hand in greeting when passing on the rural roads in our cars (although mostly just for local license plates), chat over transactions. It keeps us connected. Reminds us we’re all here together. Maybe one way to pay it forward is simply to engage in small talk — say hello, how are you?

m Says:

November 30th, 2007, 15:05 pm

I very much like and appreciate the reminder about “pay it forward.” Sadly, I have to admit that I also find a lot to agree with in the comments of the commenter Thomas. Not to say I’ve lost all faith in humanity, but I do agree that our society today is not generally set up to benefit the common good and to reward those who do the right thing.

I agree with Leo that the loss of community is a real problem, though I have different factors in mind as to the cause of the loss of community–namely economics, as Thomas mentioned, is the main factor I see at play. I’ve wanted to write on that topic for quite a while and hopefully with the push from this post I will be able to do so soon.

In the meantime this post reminds me of one I wrote a while ago about some people who commited suicide. Many in the group I read about noted in their suicide notes that they would not go through with it if just one person performed a simple act of kindness onto them before they were able to complete the mission. Sadly, for most this did not happen and they did go through with that act.

The post is long, but links to a wonderful, and controversial film, and includes more detail on this topic and my thoughts on how powerful something as simple as a kind word or smile to a stranger can be (and conversely, how powerful–in a negative way–a harsh word or unkind gesture can be. Remember the young girl who recently hung herself after some unkind words on MySpace?). I hope none of us every forget that.

The post is here, if you are interested: http://cottoncandypink.blogspot.com/2006/12/jumping.html

Wesa Says:

November 30th, 2007, 15:32 pm

“The Effect of Anonymity”

A great read for this is the Monkeysphere. http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/monkeysphere.html

Jon Says:

November 30th, 2007, 15:34 pm

There is definitely a lack of community in our society. I grew up in a small town of about 500 hundred people. On a regular basis, almost monthly, there would be some kind of activity that would bring nearly the whole town together. Rather it be a dance, someone’s wedding or church service. Nowadays this isn’t so true. Town activities have dwindled and the people there seem to have lost interest in a lot of group gatherings.

Is this the reason that online communities are growing so popular? Or is the availability of things like social networking and text messages becoming an excuse to not physically mingle with others?

yadong Says:

November 30th, 2007, 16:22 pm

I enjoy reading your blog and make it into my google reader already. I promise to pay the gift forward with some act of kindness to another person in my all communities.

thanks.

Marc Says:

November 30th, 2007, 16:48 pm

WOW LEO!!

That is an amazing post and what is almost more amazing is the number of comments it has spawned. I haven’t the time to read all, but from what I’ve read the general feeling at least among your readers is that we want the world to change. The best way to do that is for us to become more peaceful and kind on the inside and thus change how we treat each other.

While I often see much rudeness and self-centered attitudes, I am learning to also notice kindness in others, no matter how subtle it might be. I come away with such a feeling of happiness, and contentment when I see kindness being displayed (or when I project kindness on others).

Seeing as the Xmas season is upon us, let’s all try to be more kind towards others - give someone that parking space at the mall rather than squeezing into it because you are faster or have a bigger vehicle, be friendly to clerks (if a customer) or customers (if a clerk) regardless of how surly they might be to you and considering giving gifts of your time to loved ones rather than material objects. Xmas has become too much of a season of greed, self-centeredness and stress, when it should be the exact opposite. :)

Maura Says:

November 30th, 2007, 17:02 pm

Thanks for the thoughtful post, Leo. It gives me something to ponder.

My faith in humanity was once strong, but after years of being ridiculed for offering “thank you” at the office, maligned for saying “hi” to passersby (surely I have an ulterior motive), and being taken advantage of by people that know I’m likely to help others, I have little or no faith left.

Community can be very beneficial, but for every member, there is someone that is left out; inclusion of some means exclusion of others. To promote kindness, one must extend it to strangers, outcasts and neighbors alike.

The value of churchgoing is not just the building of community, but the instillation of values. The Catholic church in which I was raised promoted: be kind to strangers (be a good samaritan); do unto others as you would have them do unto you; whatsoever you do to the least among you, that you do unto (Him).

In an age with “pastors” of megachurches promoting praying for prosperity, the only value that is being taught is “you get what you earn/deserve” and “take care of your own.” Volunteering is a means to take care of lesser beings who are unable to care for themselves, often given only if accepted with a dose of this religious doctrine.

Regardless of my lack of faith in humanity, I try to do nice things regularly for others anyway, in small ways, whether or not they think what I’ve done is “nice,” or if it’s taken for granted, or maligned.

Every now and then I am recipient of same.

Kent Schnaith Says:

November 30th, 2007, 17:37 pm

I think people are reluctant to ask for help. Asking for help implies vulnerability, and a lot of people don’t want to go there. Some of my best friendships began with a simple request for help.

A couple of my friends have made a science out of asking for help. They have a podcast at http://www.mccarthyshow.com that you might like. Here is a link to the podcast mp3 http://files.vroomsite.com/mccarthyshow/Podcasts/McShow109.mp3

MikeTheory Says:

November 30th, 2007, 18:25 pm

Another great and inspiring post from zenhabits!

It is crazy to think of how much simple goodness just spread around the world from this one post!

I wrote about how I am going to pay it forward, which will hopefully spread the goodness just a tiny bit further.

Anh Han Says:

November 30th, 2007, 18:28 pm

Leo,

Great blog, and again, a great post. Kindness is a great thing. Something so simple, and so easy.

You should really check out Join Me (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Join_Me)

It’s a movement (a collective not a cult!) that centers around random acts of kindness. Basically you do small acts of kindness to strangers, little things that make people’s day.

Easy.

grace Says:

November 30th, 2007, 18:53 pm

Leo,
I’ve been reading your zenhabits for the last two months and just wanted to say thank you for some of your insights as well as some of your commentators’. It’s the first sight I check out while waiting for my email to down load. It’s great to know there are some really creative and contemplative people out there. It makes me hopeful :)

x Says:

November 30th, 2007, 18:53 pm

Thank you for a wonderful post.

In a similar vein to create a mood of kindness, each morning I ask the following question -

What good can I do today?

Some days there are lots of answers and some days there are not. But regardless, with each answer I move to a new place to begin again :)

namaste

Anonymous Says:

November 30th, 2007, 19:03 pm

It’s been a while I realized God is no one but a kid playing The Sims. However, there is a reason for I don’t hate him. As you said about religion, religion unites people, religion makes people better (whether it is for fear or faith, it doesn’t matter) and I don’t want anyone to realize what I realized so early. Better living a lie that everyone can handle.

Warren Says:

November 30th, 2007, 19:07 pm

Thank you for this post. I really needed to read something like this. It’s been a week that has shaken my faith in people.

Anonymous Says:

November 30th, 2007, 19:07 pm

I’m the above anonymous, just wanted to add I’m kind of late for the e-book right? Didn’t actually count the posts =P

Well, thank you for this post. You really paid it forward. This post made my day.

sarah Says:

November 30th, 2007, 19:09 pm

I like this blog, i was thinking about something similar the other day…a related thing that i try to do is to think, “how can i contribute to my community?” and try to do something small each day. Sometimes it takes a lot of thinking and creativity to come up with it, but it’s worth it!

Leo Says:

November 30th, 2007, 19:31 pm

I’m overwhelmed. You guys are amazing, awesome people. Thanks so much for your encouragement, for sharing your thoughts on this topic, for promising to pay it forward, for your feedback and love.

I love you all! :)

I wish I could give the ebook away to everyone, but that wouldn’t be fair to my paying customers, and to be honest, it’s the weekend for me now and I want to spend the time with my family. :)

I hope you understand … and I thank you again for your wonderful comments!

Morgan Says:

November 30th, 2007, 20:13 pm

This gave me a great idea for a social experiment. I’m going to put a slight twist in the “pay it foreward” idea. I’m going to track the ratio of kindness I pay foreward vs kindness paid to me and up the ratio. I’m going to try and post the results regularly on the blog I’m starting called Seeking Sanctuary. Any ideas on how I could improve my experiment?

Keith D. Says:

November 30th, 2007, 20:54 pm

Leo,
Thanks for your observations. I like the TV commercial that was on a year or so ago that showed the avalanche of kindness triggered by one person’s action. “Paying forward” contributes so much to the general livableness of society in a cascade manner.

My take on it is that humanity as an institution has little to commend. I’m not being skeptical or sour. Just real. Humanity just needs a lot of work. The venal bad behavior, carelessness and downright cantankerous disagreeableness we see everyday in everybody, including ourselves, is prime example of the natural state of humanity. The commendable kindness, consideration, and care part is result of transcending and overcoming the natural tendencies of humanity. I come from the Judeo-Christian persuasion and no matter how you parse it man is inherently fallen (into selfish behavior) and cannot be accepted in polite company (like a rotten kid) except by giving up his fallen nature and accepting a kind, compassionate, forgiving (and forgiven) way of life (reborn). It takes a lot of daily attendance to maintain ’cause, frankly, humanity wants to be selfish and badly behaved. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a Las Vegas. There have been thousands of years of practice. I am pretty conservative and fundamental, but any religion or philosophy that encourages us to overcome selfish behavior/thought and promotes mutual respect has a place in society. Your DMV lady is an inspiration. She overcame the natural human fall into inconsiderate, uncaring rule-following mode caused by the spirit crushing conditions usual in DMV and similar bureaucracies. She did something right for herself.

…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity…

It also talks about gratitude, very much like the gratitude you practice, as being important to transcend our ‘humanity’.

Syd Says:

November 30th, 2007, 21:34 pm

I too have recently discovered your blog and have already added it to my blogroll of favorites. I’ve been inspired and motivated by every post I’ve read and I’m looking forward to following your writing. Thank you for providing such thoughtful and practical advice for living a better, fuller life.

Tushar Chothani Says:

November 30th, 2007, 22:21 pm

Hey Leo!!!

Thats a great Post. You have inspired me to make a difference to society. Will surely start it from now itself and have planned to make a group of friends and have an event every sunday at blinds school, orphanage, and old people homes.

Would love to have your ebook if fit into your criteria.

Regards
Tushar

NiJaal Says:

November 30th, 2007, 22:29 pm

I am pretty sure i missed the ebook offer but i dig the post. I don’t know that i have the same hope in humanity as you do but there are some signs that things may just work out.

How to Cope with Pain Says:

November 30th, 2007, 22:37 pm

Most inspiring reading all week!

Nancy Says:

November 30th, 2007, 23:32 pm

I know I’m too late for the e book, but would like to commend you and thank you for the offer. Even without receiving your thoughtful gift, I will find ways to pay it forward this weekend.

Compassionate Capitalist Says:

December 1st, 2007, 0:46 am

I love your blog, and have taken a lot of inspiration from it…but somehow this is the first time I’ve commented. Since I’m in the middle of a life reorganization that involves paying off all of my consumer debt, I haven’t bought the e-book, but I think I’ve read every one of the posts that were published previously here! If you have any “extras” that you’re passing along, I’d love one…and if not, I understand and will keep it on my Christmas list! Keep up the great work!

Emma Kydd Says:

December 1st, 2007, 2:00 am

Hello!

I recently discovered your blog, after google’ing “happiness.” I was having a difficult time dealing with depression, but your blog and the tips you’ve offered have really helped me. I will definately pay it forward through an act of kindness!

Thank you for restoring some peace in my life!

gc Says:

December 1st, 2007, 7:56 am

AA operates on this principle, you must help others in order to stay sober. there’s an analogy in the literature about mining a treasure for the rest of your life and giving 100% of it away. Can’t keep it unless you give it away.

Dumitru Tira Says:

December 1st, 2007, 8:17 am

Inspiring post, I’m going to do something very kind today for a friend :)

Cathy Master Says:

December 1st, 2007, 9:09 am

I loved this post!!!! You have inspired me to be the kindest person I can be

Thank You

Chris Says:

December 1st, 2007, 11:20 am

Wow, Leo. I am seriously impressed by this post. Why? That is my philosophy. Whenever I walk along the pavement and I pass someone I just put on a faint smile. Often, when I am at a local supermarket and I see someone stocking cans I’ll give them a nod or a twinkle with the eyes or a smile. And it really does work. The person recognises the gesture and it makes me feel just good. Giving away kindness is just nice. I am not so sure about bureaucracy, at least I’ve not experienced it that yet.

Miss Gisele B. Says:

December 1st, 2007, 12:16 pm

Leo,

You got 155 comments on ONE question! That’s amazing.

You are bringing people together and you are forcing us to talk, share, think and act.

I admire so much what you are doing. You’ve single-handily brought together some great minds in one forum.

Congratulations Leo on having such a HUGE vision!!!

Gisele

JohnnyB Says:

December 1st, 2007, 12:43 pm

I just found out about your colume. I must say I was very impressed with it. I agreee, we have become too self-centered. More worried about ourselves then the others around us. I have always tried to help other people and be kind and generous to them.
October of last year, I found myself homeless. Due to my trying to be kind to friends in need. I still count them as friends, even though I do not see them any more. Through hard work, determination and help that I asked for, I am no longer in that situation. I have a job teaching , I have a home and I have some one that loves me unconditionally.
God has a plan for all of us, some times we spend too much on worrying about what His plan is. I’ve come to realize that no matter the plan, the journey is always unforgetable.
I just hope that even just 1 person will read this and think about trying to help some one, even if it’s some one they don’t even know. JohnnyB

Jon J Says:

December 1st, 2007, 12:47 pm

Hi Leo,

I have read some of your articles now and then through other sites and recently came to your site and subscribed. I have changed a lot of things I do and have sent your articles onto others to help change their lives also and they have given me good feedback. I am sure this is more than the 30th request for an e-book so I don’t plan on getting one, but if i am not too late, if would be nice to read it. Thanks for your great writing and motivation and I look forward to continue reading.

Anonymous Says:

December 1st, 2007, 13:38 pm

Hi Leo -

I have read your posts almost every morning for a while now. They are such a great start to my day, and often seem to coincide perfectly with something I may be thinking about, or something I need to be doing.

I’ve never commented before, but this post kind of struck a nerve and brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad I got on and read it this morning - such a great topic and well written post.

You are truly helping people, myself included.

Thank you.

Leigh Says:

December 1st, 2007, 17:11 pm

Perhaps we should also not forget those doctors who work so hard to keep us and our children healthy. What a gift they are to us. I know we pay them but we are so much the richer for their knowledge and care. Then there’s all those school teachers, who face a war-zone of unmanageable behaviour every day. They care with their lives for our children. We have police forces who face violence every day so that we may live with security. We have spiritual leaders and counsellors who listen to our depths of despair to lift us to hope.
My point is that ‘paying it forward’ is a relatively new phrase but not a new concept. It doesn’t have to be a free service to be loving. It would disrespectful to our forebears and cultural traditions if we pretend that we invented love or community service.

Tabatha Says:

December 1st, 2007, 17:35 pm

I loved this post. I can relate to this feeling. When someone shows some small act of kindness, it really makes my day. I’ve been starved of community. :/

Luka Says:

December 1st, 2007, 18:10 pm

This is one of the greatest articles I’ve read in a while. It really moved me… as I’ve recently spent days and days on thinking how to make world a better place. I have faith in humanity, in people, I just think politicians/rude people turn us against eachothers by exercising “divide et impera” rule.

I’m from Croatia (small country in Europe). We’re being used/abuse by every big nation around… we have resources, we have everything and we’re pretty naive and I guess (too much) trusting people. I don’t think that last thing is a bad thing. Just, under influence of the western world (European Union, to be exact) I see we’re becoming more and more distanced from eachother, every day. I see it through my eyes, the bad change is coming in like a hurricane, changing everything so quickly..

Recently, our first baby was born (on 05 November). That’s when I started thinking about life “for real”, how people are becoming distanced and everyone turns against the other. That’s not the world I want my daughter to grow in. I want her to have at least as great childhood as I had — and I’m definitely eager to do everything that is within my power to help (at least on local, even if that means street-level) community to become humans again, closer and better to eachother. For the start, at least a true smile does not cost a thing, but is worth a fortune.

Anyway, I haven’t bought your ebook, as I’m not sure if I’d even have time to read it — even though I would love to, but trying to support my family, pay loans and bills every month, as I’m the only person working here and spend some time with family, does not leave me a minute of free time these days. I know I’m way beyond 30th comment and I simply don’t care, I just wanted to say that one day, when I’ll be sure I have time to read your ebook, I’ll definitely purchase it.

In case you wish to donate it to me, I’d highly appreciate it. Once I find time to at least start reading it “for real”, I would PayPal you whatever the amount is :)

Regards to you all. May God bless you and your family.

Luka from Croatia

Kyle Richardson Says:

December 1st, 2007, 19:11 pm

I promise to always be a kind citizen and to pay it forward on every occasion than any individual may be kind to me. I would like to congratulate you on the success of your blog and will continue to visit your site on any occasion.

fathersez Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 0:07 am

This is really an inspring and thought provoking post.

The concept of paying it forward is so powerful. I am not sure if it would work on people who do not want to help themselves.

My wife and I have 2 employees in our little company. We do not pay them much. But we do know that our employees (they are almost family, actually) have the same dreams as us. Wanting a better live, better homes, better education for their children etc.

Instead of just inceasing their salaries, we have invested in a banana plantation (only 6 acres). THis is a JV between my employees (25% each) and the operator. (50%). The proceeds are to be used to multiply this income and in a small way help them to achieve their financial dreams.

Will they do it? Will they be grateful and pay it forward. We don’t know. We only want to help them

I read book once called “Random Acts of Kindness”.

It also propagated the idea of just being good and doing unexpected acts of kindness.

I have paid road tolls for the car behind me, for instance.

Jennifer Carlson Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 1:16 am

Leo, I am lucky enough to have been reading you for quite a while and (of course) I jumped on the book when you first published it. It has made incremental changes in my life that continue to manifest themselves daily.

I know what you mean about the lack of courtesy these days. I have a funny story: I own a pet sitting company. I don’t actually do the sitting, I do the marketing and development. One of the ways I “market” my company is by having my company’s contact info plastered on the sides and rear window of my minivan. If anything is EVER going to get a person to be a courteous driver, it’s having contact info right where the person you just cut off in traffic (yeah, the one yelling at you in the rear view mirror!) is going to be watching it on the freeway for the next 12 miles! So, now…even if I’m not in my minivan, I pretend that I have contact info all over my car and drive accordingly. I was always a pretty polite driver but even so, I actually stop to “take the high road” more often than I used to!

Thank you for what you do, for sharing your wisdom with us and for allowing us to share our wisdom with each other. You are a community unto yourself! Cheers! Jennifer from California

joseph Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 5:30 am

After reading the article, I have come to realize that kindness brings a thousand blessings for oneself and for others. I have received a lot of blessings and most of them from the people whom I have shared my life with and even more from those whom I have just met. It’s a very rewarding feeling in itself to receive and it’s even more rewarding to give. I promise to continually influence and share more of my time, resources and my self to those who needs it the most.

By the way, I really enjoy your posts. I save some of them and reread it at home.

Thanks a lot for giving me some inspiration.

dave marcus Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 10:33 am

what I try to remember is that the world is a closed system

if you put more anger and negativity into the world, you are putting into your own environment - like smoke in a room, if you create it, you breathe it

if you put more love, acceptance, good humor, laughter into the world, you get to breathe that, too

think of it that way, its an easy choice - the hard thing sometimes is to remember to make a choice

something that made me feel good thursday was that an officer in at the Jo’burg airport immigration office who detained me for 8 hours and was on the verge of sending me back out of the country instead of allowing me in (I was saved by a resourceful person at the bank I was about to meet with) … she thanked me for being relaxed and nice as I left. the payback for me is that she was probably nicer to the next poor guy who didn’t have a blank page in his passport

Larry Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 12:06 pm

I enjoyed your blog and noticed that at the core of happiness to all of us is gratitude. You mentioned that it was an act of kindness that made your day. I agree, but it was the gratitude you showed that really empowered you forward. Science is now showing us that it’s the gratitude that we all show towards each other that can really bring us, the giver, happiness.

I focus on what I can do to help others. Just in the last week: I helped a friend gain a new client, I helped connect two people with common interests, I’ve treated people to coffee, I connected a student with a mentor, and the list goes on. And in return, I’ve received something each day this week. Last night a box of chocolates arrived on my doorstep as a thank you. Yesterday, one of the people I helped sent me a gift certificate. I didn’t do it for the rewards, but it seems like what we give comes back to us many times over.

To me, it’s gratitude- the thankfulness we show for our lives, that enhances the lives around us.

Kamela Cody Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 12:40 pm

A few years ago, I was walking in the gold coast of Chicago known for shops like Prada, Hermes, & Frette Linens. A place I liked to visit as a student, dreaming about expensive handbags and bed sheets. And on one day that I was there, I was walking past a woman who started to scream at a man that she was that was with. Everyone on the street stopped because she was just that hysterical. As it turned out, the man that she was talking to was a con that had swindled her of everything she owned. Apparently, he had stolen all of her money from her bank accounts, jewelry, you name it. She finally broke down, on to her knees, and wept that she didn’t have anything. Not a penny to eat on, not a dollar for mortgage, nor anybody to help her out. The man shrugged his shoulders and walked off. I had stopped to watch. It was horrible to witness, as anyone could imagine. At this point, she was sobbing on the streets and all the people that had stopped to watch had continued on their way. Like I said, I was a student. I didn’t have anything. I was suddenly moved and I walked over to her. She looked up at me, through her tears, and I helped her to stand up. I opened up my purse and I handed her the only thing that I had, a five dollar bill. I gave it to her and told her that this five dollars would be the starting point of her new life. She graciously accepted it and cried harder. But, after that, she thanked me and walked away with her head held up. I never got her name, nor learned of how her life turned out, or read in a newspaper about a con being convicted. Since then, the gifts that I’ve offered have certainly been less dramatic. I’ll let someone cut in front of me at the grocery store who has less items, or I say thank you when a stranger holds a door open for me. The small acts matter! These small events truly define my life and I believe the life of others. At the end of the day, I know that when I act kind, the world is watching and I want the world to learn something good.

joansimeon Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 15:19 pm

Great post!

Mary Jaksch Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 16:21 pm

In response to this lovely post, I have created a ‘circle of kindness’ on my website. My personal offering of kidness is a free place on my next retreat for someone who can’t afford to pay.
I’ve encouraged my readers to join in the ‘circle of kindness’ and publicly commit to an act of kindness. They, in turn, can ask their nearest and dearest to commit to an act of kindness.

Let’s hope that this circle of kindness eventually embraces the whole world.

dustin quillen Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 17:06 pm

Hey Leo!
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog everyday for quite some time now. I love the concept of paying it forward and try to be kind to everyone I meet. Your blog almost had me teary eyed thinking of how the world has become and how somethiing definitely needs to be done to reverse the process. I know I am way beyond the 30 person limit for your ebook, but I intended on buying one anyways. But a link to my newly started blog would be awesome. I will create a post linking to your blog later today when I get home.

As always, I look forward to reading whatever you post next. Take care.

Jennifer R Says:

December 2nd, 2007, 23:50 pm

Thank you, Leo for your wonderful posts. There are many days when you and your site are my deep breath of fresh air. I’m obviously way too late for the e-book offer, but I’ll pay it forward anyway.

Small steps count.

krishna Says:

December 3rd, 2007, 0:25 am

This lovely blog caught my eye when I was in low spirits , having lost all faith on humanity and believe me, reading the blog, gave me some valuable insight.

Thank you

Amit Says:

December 3rd, 2007, 1:22 am

Thanks Leo ! I was pleasantly shocked to see your mail in my inbox ….. I really never imagined you would send me the e book …. Thanks again …… It really meant so much to me …..

I Promise to PF. I promise you i will make the world around me a better and happier place ……

vw bug Says:

December 3rd, 2007, 6:58 am

Unable to do Trackbacks… my web master turned them off. Here is my post: http://onehappydogspeaks.mu.nu/archives/248218.php

And thank you for a wonderful idea at this time of year.

Kate Saltfleet Says:

December 3rd, 2007, 8:32 am

Hmm, for some reason my trackback hasn’t worked either. I’m writing a series with the theme “Season of Goodwill” throughout the month of December. This is a link to my first post about Paying It Forward

http://experimentsinliving.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/season-of-goodwill-series/

Gus Says:

December 3rd, 2007, 10:08 am

Your idea of paying forward is really moving, because of its simplicity and effectiveness. We seem to work better as a society when reciprocity is at work, as this feeling strikes a cord in all of us. Social Psychologist Robert Cialdini pointed out the importance of reciprocity as one of the six principles of ethical persuasion, precisely because it ellicits powerful responses from those who receive acts of kindness.

I would greatly appreciate receiving a copy of your e-book, but even if I do not receive it - I probably won’t, as I am writing this on December 3rd - I will do my best to pay forward your kind and generous offer.

Dr. Kirk Laman Says:

December 3rd, 2007, 15:16 pm

Miracles happen. They’re not that uncommon, but we have to look for them. We have to be open to to the possibility that they exist.

Take something as in seemingly insignificant as a simple act of kindness. We might brush off random acts of kindness such as another car letting us merge more easily on the free way, but small acts of kindness can add up. They can build on one another and turn literally into miracles.

8 years ago, a man by the name of Philip Schmucker related an amazing story of the miraculous power of a simple act of kindness. Philip had grown up on the northern fringes of Metro Detroit. At birth he had been injured and had developed severe cerebral palsy. In those days (1940’s) medical care was not what it is today.

As a young child Philip was sent to live in a rehabilitation institute with other children with similar diseases. Separated from his parents, he vividly remembered the day when he was told that he couldn’t come home until he learned to walk. Can you imagine the fear, the trauma of being pulled from your comfortable surroundings and told such a thing.

But Philip did learn to walk. Yet, the rest of his life was a series of uphill battles as he tried to fit into a society that rejected people who were different. Disappointment and despair lead to much anger and a failed marriage. Eventually it lead to alcoholism and feelings of extreme unworthiness.

Rejection had been the story of Philip’s life. But a simple act of kindness helped Philip find hope. One day Philip, who was feeling particularly down and unwelcomed-walked into a church called the Church of Today in Warren, Michigan. Now as Philip told it to me- he’d been to many places of worship and the first impressions hadn’t always been that great.

However on that day as he walked into the building, a perfect stranger approached him. He asked Philip his name and then gave him a hug and said, “Philip we’ve been waiting for you. I’m glad you showed up today.” Although the man wouldn’t know it, that simple act of kindness changed Philipss life.

Suddenly, Philip had found a place where he felt welcome. For the first time in his life, he felt loved. It was such a little thing- a hug and some simple words. But because of that event Philip would gain the confidence he would need to dramatically improve his life.

Philip would go on to write his autobiography, assist with the television production at the church, and even gain the confidence to become a public speaker. Philips story later was told on PBS in Detroit.

All of this was possible because one man offered a simple act kindness. It was only a simple word and gesture, but ultimately it proved to be the catalyst that dramatically impacted Philip’s life.

Life doesn’t always have to be complex. We don’t have to change everything. All we have to do is to offer hope, a kind word, or just a smile.

If we do we never know when our tiny gestures will end up being a miracle of kindness.

http://www.DrKirkLaman.com

Brenda Says:

December 4th, 2007, 0:47 am

Hi! I’m Brenda, a librarian from the Philippines. I usually read posts here at Zen Habits and I happen to read your post which caught my attention and interest because of your topic. It just so happened that I will be doing a charity work by weekend at Gawad-Kalinga and your post just perfectly fit with my plans of doing some acts of kindness. This is actually my first time of making a comment for the reason that I actually got interested with your Zen To Done ebook that you are willing to give for free. I hope I can also get a copy of it though I know that I’m too late for the first 30 people who’d comment on your post. Thanks a lot anyway for this beautiful blog that you’ve shared with us, readers. Good Luck and more power.

gayle Says:

December 6th, 2007, 8:57 am

Leo, this was a lovely post. You have such a great outlook and we’re all grateful to you for sharing via your blog.

I already bought your ebook, and I don’t have a blog. But I do want to share that I’ve been preaching the Zen to Done practice ever since you first posted about it. I am a Professional Organizer and I’ve been recommending it to clients, as well as to friends. They are extremely appreciative of your system - especially my ADHD friends.

There just isn’t enough of the Golden Rule in the world today. I hope small steps, like yours and those of your readers will help the ripple spread.

gayle

jamie s Says:

December 14th, 2007, 16:00 pm

thanks for sharing this with us. i haven’t noticed what your sister has in that people aren’t as kind “nowadays.” i think that it changes with everyone based on the kind of day they’ve had or what’s on their mind at that moment. i like your suggestion in “just be kind” but i’d like to add “and don’t expect anything back.” when we let go of expecting others to respond favorably to us (and then get mad when they don’t), life feels better all around. and we can all be kinder, be politer, and more respectful/considerate, but the best is to do it with no strings attached. people will catch your bug - you don’t have to demand it from them.

sincerely,
jamie

Thessa Says:

December 19th, 2007, 20:36 pm

Hi,

I’m so glad I read this article today. It not only made my day but once again confirms how generous you are. Not just because you found a way to materialize you kindness by offering your e-book but mostly because what you reveal about your inner being.

I may be late to get a copy of your “Zen To Done” ebook but I’m certainly not late to thank you for all the other amazing articles you write on your blog. They are helping me to change in so many ways. I just found your blog about two weeks ago or so but I’ve been enthusiastically reading it and already made some changes at home by implementing your systems and tips.

Your “A Guide to Creating a Minimalist Home” is even turning me into a minimalist and I’ve been delightedly busy editing my tabletops/countertops and the feeling of accomplishment is really amazing.

You were already making your acts of kindness, in case you didn’t notice. I noticed right away by the way you express yourself in your writings and by inspiring others in doing good to themselves and others around.

A big thank you and be certain I’ll keep reading you blog and making changes in my way to a more simple and neat life.

Best,

Thessa

Alexey Says:

December 25th, 2007, 11:33 am

I don’t have any money, but I really need your book - simple version of GTD system which I don’t understand. I ask you for your book ZTD I know it’s lame but I can’t buy it. Hope for understand my not organizing drive me to bad things.

Suzanne Botello Says:

January 7th, 2008, 17:43 pm

What a wonderful blog! I am putting together a workshop at my worksite– I am an employee assistance counselor and will be developing a Paying it Forward: Mindful Acts of Kindness for employees at Northern Arizona University during our employee conference in February. We will be making pieces for Ben’s Bells, and I would love to share your e-book and your website. Thanks!

peter grey Says:

May 24th, 2008, 12:38 pm

I have just discovered your website after ‘googling’ restoring respect compassion in humanity’! Thank you for your thoughtful commentary, particularly your idea that anonymity is behind people’s bad driving behavior. In fact I had become quite despairing as I travel a daily average of 80kms Monday to Friday and have concluded that most people on the roads have no patience respect or compassion. I know I am way past your first thirty contributers, but I would still love to read your e-book and will happily commit to an act of public kindness.
Kind regards

Harjot Says:

June 9th, 2008, 19:53 pm

Great post! I’ve also noticed that people in big cities appear to be a lot more rude than people in small towns. This could be, in large part, because their personal space is constantly being invaded! Travelling by transit, car or foot, they’re constantly surrounded by people and vehicles on the way to and from work. When push comes to shove, a frustrated person isn’t going to care whether they hold a door open or say thank you…they’ll be more concerned about getting to their destination as quickly as possible to regain their personal space.

el solaris Says:

June 24th, 2008, 9:17 am

To the owner of this blog zen habits, I wish to thank you.

I have started a small PAY IT FORWARD (PIF) movement.
I would like to invite people who are in alignment with PIF to join my movement.

I am offering a free account for anybody who wants to start a home based business. It is for anyone who do not have the funds to start a home based business or for anyone who has the funds but would like to be part of this movement to Pay Forward.

Please email me at selfmasteryint@pacific.net.sg and more details will be provided.

Thank you in advance to anyone who would like to be part of my movement. I am sincerely grateful if you respond.

LOVE, PEACE AND JOY

no name Says:

September 1st, 2008, 20:48 pm

Leo,

Thank you for reminding me that there is still good in the world. I have had a stroke of bad luck lately, my car has been stolen twice already within a 1 month’s time. And I am sad to say that it has dropped my level of faith and love for humanity. But I read your wonderful words of wisdom, And I believe you are right. Humans are beautiful beings and I don’t believe it would be right or fair to give up on people. I swear from this day onward to make a conscious effort to pay the kindness forward or if no kindness has been shown, I will start the chain and ask only that everyone pays it forward. Thank you again for renewing my faith.

Keep up the good work.

“We must be the change we want to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi

HS Says:

May 15th, 2009, 0:51 am

I agree with Gandhi’s quote. I am trying very hard to be the change we want to see in the world. Thanks for the blog and the ideas.

PK Says:

June 26th, 2009, 6:43 am

I love how you have express your faith in humanity by keeping your car doors open and carrying cash. I feel that it’s similar to law of attraction: you expect good things to happen to you, and they will.. and so is the opposite.

Thanks for another great post. Simple things you say really inspire me and give a whole new dimension to a thought process.

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